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Last updated August 7, 2024

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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 16 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

16 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

What’s that old saying? “The best way to learn is by doing.” Well, we believe that, in personal statements and in life, cliches like this should be avoided. That's why we recommend reading some example essays before you start writing your own.

Now, before we get into our examples, we should quickly talk about what admissions officers look for in personal statements in the first place.

What does an admissions officer look for in a personal statement?

Before we get to the essays, let’s briefly walk through what goes through an admissions officer’s head when they open an application.

Admissions officers (AOs) read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year. Different institutions require admissions officers to use different criteria when evaluating applications, so the specifics will vary by school. Your entire application should cohere to form a seamless narrative . You'll be crafting that narrative across the following categories:

• Transcripts and course rigor : AOs look at the classes you’ve taken to assess how much you’ve challenged yourself based on the classes your school offers. They’re also looking at how well you've done in these classes each term.
• Extracurricular activities : When reading through your activities list, AOs look at the activities you’ve done, how many years you’ve participated in them, and how many hours a week you devote to them. They’re assessing your activities for the levels of magnitude, impact, and reach that they demonstrate. (Want to know more about these terms? Check out our extracurricular impact post .)
• Background information : This background information briefly tells admissions officers about demographic and family information, your school context, and any honors or awards you’ve received.
• Letters of recommendation : Letters of recommendation give AOs insight into who you are in the classroom.
• Essays : And, finally, the essays. Whether you’re writing a personal statement or a supplemental essay , essays are the main place AOs get to hear your voice and learn more about you. Your personal statement in particular is the place where you get to lay out your overall application narrative and say something meaningful about your personal strengths.

So, with all that in mind, what does an admissions officer actually look for when reading your personal statement?

A few traits tend to surface across the best personal statements, no matter the topic or format. There are four primary areas you should focus on as you craft your personal statement.

• Strengths : AOs want to know about your strengths. That doesn’t mean bragging about your accomplishments, but it does mean writing about a topic that lets you showcase something positive about yourself.
• Personal meaning : Personal statements shouldn’t be fluff. They shouldn’t be history essays. They should be personal essays that ooze meaning. The topic you choose should show something significant about yourself that the admissions officers won’t get from any other part of your application.
• Authenticity and vulnerability : These characteristics can be the most difficult to achieve. Being “vulnerable” doesn’t mean airing all your dirty laundry. It means revealing something authentic and meaningful about who you are. To be vulnerable means to go beyond the surface level to put yourself out there, even to admissions officers who you’ve never met.
• Clear organization and writing : And lastly, admissions officers also want your essay to be organized clearly so it’s easy to follow along. Remember that admissions officers are reading lots of applications, even in one sitting. So you want to make your reader’s job as easy as possible. Thoughtful and skillful writing can also help take your personal statement to the next level.

If you want to know more about how to incorporate these traits into your own essay, we have a whole guide about how to write the perfect personal statement .

But for now, let’s get into the examples.

We’ve broken up the example personal statements into three categories: best personal statement examples, good personal statement examples, and “bad” personal statement examples. These categories show you that there is a spectrum of what personal statements can look like. The best examples are the gold standard. They meet or exceed all four of the main criteria admissions officers are looking for. The good examples are just that: good. They’re solid examples that may be lacking in a specific area but are still effective personal statements. The “bad” examples are those that don’t yet stack up to the expectations of a personal statement. They’re not objectively bad, but they need some specific improvements to align with what admissions officers are looking for.

Here we go!

The Best Personal Statement Examples

Writing an exceptional personal statement takes a lot of time and effort. Even the best writers can find the genre challenging. But when you strike the perfect chord and get it right, it’s almost like magic. Your essay jumps off the page and captures an admissions officer’s attention. They feel like you’re right there with them, telling them everything they need to know to vote “yes” on your admission.

The following essays are some of our favorites. They cover a range of topics, styles, and student backgrounds. But they all tell meaningful stories about the writers’ lives. They are well-organized, use vivid language, and speak to the writers’ strengths.

For each essay, our team of former admissions officers have offered comments about what makes the essay exceptional. Take a look through the annotations and feedback to see what lessons you can apply to your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #1: Reinvention

For our first example, which we’ve titled “Reinvention,” we’re going to watch Alex break the essay down paragraph by paragraph. This one’s really good. Let’s take a look.

As Alex explains, this essay takes a couple of (very beautiful!) paragraphs to get to its central message: reinvention. Once we reach that turning point, the writer seamlessly introduces us to their engineering interests, then returns again to their mother’s influence. The metaphor of “watermelon rinds” ties everything together. The writer comes across as a clever, thoughtful person—one we would surely want on our campus.

(Want to see more video examples and get personalized application and essay help? Let’s work together. )

Personal Statement Example #2: Thankful

My family has always been broke. Saturday mornings and Thursday evenings, always the same drill: the kids (my brothers and me) would be loaded in the car with my parents and off we’d all go to the food pantry. New clothes were few and far between, and going on vacation was something that we could only dream of. Despite our financial struggles, one year, my parents decided to surprise us with a trip to Disney Land. It was a complete shock to me and my siblings. We were over the moon. In fact, the screams of excitement that emanated from my younger brother’s mouth still ring in my ears.

But as the trip drew close, my excitement tempered and I began to worry. Being poor when you’re young doesn’t just affect you materially. It also affects how you see the world and loads you up with a whole range of anxieties that, in an ideal world, no child should have to face. How were my parents going to afford this, I wondered? Would an expense like this push us over the brink?(( The beginning of this essay, and especially this sentence, show the writer’s empathy. They are not selfish; they understand their broader family context and take that into consideration.)) I didn't want to ruin the surprise by asking, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread building inside of me.

The day of our trip arrived and we set off for the airport. In the car, my dad made an off-the-cuff comment about a new video game that he’d wanted to play but didn’t buy, and everything clicked—my parents had made the trip possible by saving for months, cutting back on expenses and sacrificing their own comforts to make the trip happen.

As we boarded the plane, I was filled with a mix of emotions. I was grateful beyond words for my parents' sacrifice, but I was also overwhelmed by the guilt of knowing that they had given up so much for us. I didn't know how to express my gratitude; when we deplaned in LAX, I gave my mom and dad a rib-crushing hug.

The trip itself was everything that I had dreamed of and more. We spent four magical days at Disney Land(( Nice use of vivid details here. The reader can picture the sights and smells of Disney—and the ensuing hunger when passing a churro stand.)) , speed running the roller coasters and campy boat rides from the 70s. Sure, we packed our own food and walked right by the churro stands with a hungry look in our eyes. But I will never forget the feeling of unmitigated joy that my family shared on that trip, the smiles that painted my parents’ faces.

But the trip itself was nothing compared to the gratitude I felt for my parents(( Here, the writer transitions to reintroducing the theme of gratitude.)) . They had given us the gift of a lifetime, and I knew that I would never be able to repay them for their sacrifice.

In the years since that trip, I have carried that feeling of gratitude with me. It has motivated me to work hard and to always strive to be the best person that I can be. I want to make my parents proud and to show them that their sacrifice was worth it(( Finally, the writer sums things up with an eye to the future. It’s helpful for an admission officer to picture what the essay’s lessons might mean for the student as a future community member.)) .

I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for what my parents did for us, but I will always remember their selflessness and their willingness to put their own needs aside for the sake of our happiness. It was a truly surprising and incredible act of love, and one that I will always be thankful for.

AO Notes on Thankful

This essay accomplishes a few things even though it essentially tells one story and offers a quick reflection. It gives some important context regarding the challenges of being from a lower-income family. It does that in a way that is authentic, rather than problem-focused. It also shows that the writer is empathetic, family-oriented, and reflective.

Why this essay stands out:

• Vulnerability : This essay is upfront about a challenging topic: financial insecurity. While you don’t have to tell your most difficult challenge in an essay, this writer chose to write about a circumstance that gives additional context that may be helpful as admissions considers their application.
• Personal : The writer gets into some family dynamics and paints a picture of how their family treats and takes care of each other.
• Values: We clearly see some values the writer has and that they don’t take their parents’ sacrifices for granted. As an admission officer, I can picture this student using their education to give back—to their family or to others.

Personal Statement Example #3: Pickleball

I’ve always been one to have a good attitude no matter the circumstances. Except when it comes to exercise. From dodgeball in PE class to family Turkey Trots, I’m always the first one out and the last one across the finish line. These realities aren’t from a lack of skill—I’m actually quite coordinated and fast. They are from a lack of effort(( This is a quick hit of… either humor or vulnerability. I chuckled at the blunt honesty, and am intrigued to learn more.)) . Despite my best intentions, I can never get myself to care about sports or competitions. So when my dad first asked me to be his pickleball partner last summer, I did nothing but laugh.

But soon, I realized that he was serious. My dad started playing pickleball two years ago as a fun way to exercise. He’d become a star in our city’s recreation league, and I always enjoyed cheering him on from the sidelines. When his doubles partner got relocated for work, my dad decided that the disruption was a good opportunity for us bond through pickleball. Even though I was mortified by the thought of running back and forth to hit a bouncing ball, I reluctantly agreed.

The next Saturday morning, we went to the court for our first practice. I was wearing sweatpants, an old sweatshirt, and a grimace. My dad showed me how to hold the paddle, serve, and return the ball to our opponents. He told me about staying out of the kitchen—an endearing pickleball term that references the “kitchen,” or the middle part of the court—trying to make me laugh. Instead, I sighed impatiently and walked to my end of the court, ready to get it over with.

My dad remained patient in spite of my bad attitude. He gently served me the ball, and I gave a lackluster attempt to return it. The ball bounced into the net. I hadn’t even made it to his side of the court. Trying his best to encourage me, my dad gave me the ball so I could serve it to him instead. I tossed the ball up and hit it underhand toward my dad. It hit the net again. I tried again and again, each attempt with less care than the last. I grew frustrated and threw my paddle down in anger(( Okay, this paragraph gives a good dose of openness to the emotions of the writer. They’ve served up an opportunity to learn a lesson soon…)) .

After seeing my mini-meltdown, my dad crossed the kitchen to talk to me. During our conversation, I began to ask myself why I got so frustrated when I wasn’t trying very hard in the first place. I thought pickleball was a miserable sport, but I realized that it wasn’t pickleball that I cared about. I cared about my dad. I wanted to make him proud(( Ah, and there it is! A realization. As the admission officer I’m thinking, “Go on…”)) . Playing pickleball with him was the least I could do to thank him for everything he’d done for me. I dusted off my bad attitude alongside my paddle, and I got up to try another serve.

That serve hit the net again. But more determined now, I kept trying until my serves went over the net and through my dad’s weak side. I couldn’t believe it. My attitude adjustment helped me see the game for what it was: a game. It wasn’t supposed to be agonizing or cruel. It was supposed to be fun.

I learned that my attitude towards sports was unacceptable. This experience taught me that it’s okay to have preferences about what you enjoy, but it’s important to always maintain a positive attitude(( And the lesson learned! )) . You may just enjoy it after all.

Now my dad and I are both stars in our recreation league. Soon, we will make our way to our league’s semi-finals. We’ve worked our way through the bracket and are close to the championship. What I appreciate more about this experience, however, is how close it’s brought my dad and I together. His patience, positivity, and persistence have and will always inspire me. I want to be more like him every day, especially on the pickleball court.

AO Notes on Pickleball

This is a strong “attitude adjustment” essay, a bit of a remix of a challenge essay. The challenge, in this case, was a fixed mindset about sports that needed to be adjusted. The writer takes us on a witty journey through their own attitude towards organized athletic activities and their father.

• Self-aware : Similar to the vulnerability of other essays, this writer is willing to criticize themselves by recognizing that they need an attitude adjustment. Even before they changed their attitude, we get the sense that they are at least aware of their own lack of effort.
• Strong conclusion : We see a nice lesson at the end that relates both to having an open mind and caring for others. They even make a point about simply enjoying things because they are fun.
• Life lesson : Beyond the stated lesson, as an admission officer with a few more years on this Earth than the writer, I can tell this lesson will apply beyond sports. In fact, I can easily picture this student trying a new class, club, or group of friends in college because they are now more open to novel experiences.

Personal Statement Example #4: The Bird Watcher

I’m an avid walker and bird watcher(( Okay, the writer gets right into it! I think this simple introduction of the topic works well because they are writing about a less common hobby among teenagers. If they had said “I am an avid baseball player”, I would have been less eager to learn more.)) . Growing up, I’d clear my head by walking along the trail in the woods behind my house. By the time I was immersed in the chaos of high school, these walks became an afternoon routine. Now, every day at three o’clock, I don my jacket and hiking shoes and set off. As I walk, I note the flora and fauna around me. The wind whispering through the trees, the quiet rustling of a chipmunk underfoot, and the high-pitched call of robins perched atop branches, all of it brings me back to life after a difficult day.

And recently, the days have been more difficult than not. My grandparents passing, parents divorcing, and doctor diagnosing me with ADHD have presented me with more challenges than I’ve ever experienced before. But no matter what’s going on in my life, the wildlife on my walks brings me peace. As an aspiring ornithologist, the birds are my favorite(( This paragraph accomplishes a lot: a montage of difficult circumstances, context for their application, and declares their future career.)) .

I became interested in ornithology during long childhood afternoons spent at my grandparents’ house. They would watch me while my parents finished up work. I’d listen to the old bird clock that hung on the wall in the kitchen. Each number on the clock corresponded with a different bird. Every hour, the clock would chirp rather than chime. When the cardinal sang, I knew my parents would be arriving soon. Those chirps are all seared into my memory.

Twelve o’clock: robin. The short, fast, almost laugh-like sound of the robin always makes me hungry. All those Saturday afternoons filled with laughter and good food have resulted in a Pavlovian response. I’d cook meatballs with my grandma, splashing sauce on her floral wall paper. We’d laugh and laugh and enjoy the meal together at her plastic-covered kitchen table. This wasn’t my home, but I felt at home just the same.

Three o’clock: blue jay. It’d chime as soon as we walked in the door after school. The blue jay was my grandpa’s favorite. It was also mine. Why he loved it, I’m not completely sure. But it was my favorite because it marked the beginning of the best parts of my day. Symbolizing strength and confidence, blue jays always remind me of my grandpa.

Six o’clock: cardinal. The sharp whistle and staccato of the cardinal indicated that it was almost time for me to leave. Like the whistle of a closing shift, I’d hear it and start to pack my things. The cardinal has always been my least favorite.

Nine o’clock: house finch. The high, sweet, almost inquisitive call of the house finch was the one my grandma loved most. It was also the one I rarely heard. Either too early or too late in the day, the house finch was reserved for the occasional weekends when I’d spend the night at their house. My grandma would explain that finches symbolize harmony and peace. They are petite but mighty, just like she was(( This is a clever and sweet way of describing summer days with grandparents, while sprinkling in some vivid details to bring the story to life.)) .

This past weekend was the anniversary of my grandpa’s passing. Longing for my grandparents, I went for a walk. Winter is approaching, so the sky was darkening quickly. I walked slowly. As the sun set, I heard the tell-tale squawk of a blue jay, loud and piercing through the chill of the wind. I looked around and saw it sitting on an old stump, a small house finch behind it. I extracted my binoculars from my backpack, hoping to get a better glimpse through the dark. I turned the dial to focus the lenses, just as the birds flew away together. I took a deep breath, binoculars in hand, and continued on, spotting a robin in the distance(( The ending stylistically wraps the essay up without tying a bow on it. It’s a more artful way of concluding, and it works well here.)) .

AO Notes on Birdwatcher

This first two paragraphs are well-written and fairly to-the-point in their language. They do a nice job of setting the scene, but the third paragraph transitions into the writer’s distinctive voice. They detail the birds on the clock to chronicle the hours of their summer days and end, not without concluding, but leaving the reader wanting to read more of their stories.

• Voice: The writer transitions to writing in their own distinct voice, which comes to a crescendo in the final paragraph.
• Interesting approach: Sometimes students use an approach to tell a story that feels overly forced or cliche. This one feels organic and relates nicely to the writer, their family, and the story as a whole.
• Career path : This is far from a “What I want to be when I grow up” essay, but it clearly shows an academic interest grounded in family and childhood memories. This is an artistic and beautiful approach to showing admissions how the writer may use their college education.

Personal Statement Example #5: Chekov’s Wig

At the age of six, I starred in an at-home, one-woman production of Annie. My family watched as I switched between a wig I’d fashioned from maroon yarn, a dog’s tail leftover from Halloween, and a tie I’d stolen from my dad.

When the reveal came that Annie’s parents had actually passed away, I took a creative liberty: they had left Annie a small unicorn farm. The rest of the play proceeded as normal. When the curtain closed, I bowed to the sound of my family’s applause. But one set of hands was missing: my grandmother’s. Instead she sat, arms raised, and jokingly exclaimed, “But what about the unicorns?”(( Wow, an interesting intro! We see creativity and a silly side to the writer. As the admission officer, I’m eager to see where this leads.))

My grandma, an avid thespian, taught me a lot about life. But one of the most important lessons followed this production of Annie . After we laughed about her remark, she introduced me to the concept of Chekov’s gun. For Anton Chekov, brilliant playwright, the theory goes something like this: a writer shouldn’t write about a loaded gun if it’s not going to be fired. In other words, writers shouldn’t include details about something if it won’t serve a purpose in the story later. My unicorn farm had committed this writing faux pas egregiously.

I’m not a natural writer, and I have no goal to become one, but I’ve taken this concept of Chekov’s gun to heart—it forms the foundation of my life philosophy. I don’t believe that everything was meant to be(( This philosophical reflection is a nice introduction to the paragraphs that follow. )) . In fact, I think that sometimes bad things just happen. But I believe that these details will always play a part in our larger story.

The first test of my Chekov’s gun philosophy occurred shortly after Annie when my grandma, my biggest supporter, passed away. My family tried to console me saying that “it was her time to go,” but I disagreed. I couldn’t see how a death could be destined. Instead, I found comfort knowing that her presence, her support, and her death wasn’t for nothing. Like Chekov’s gun, I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but I knew that she would return for me.

As I grew older, my philosophy was tested time and again. Most recently, I fell back on Chekov’s gun as I coped with my parents’ divorce and my subsequent move to a new town. Both events shattered my world. My happy family theatre productions turned into custody hearings and overnight bags. The community I’d found at my old school became a sea of unfamiliar faces at my new one. None of this was meant to be. But as the writer of my own life, I won’t let the details become inconsequential.

I’ve used these events as plot points in my high school experience. Dealing with my parents’ divorce has taught me how to make the best of what’s given to me. I got the chance to decorate two bedrooms, live in both the suburbs and the city, and even have twice the amount of pets. And without the inciting incident of the divorce and move(( We see that the writer is able to make lemonade out of lemons here.)) , I never would have joined a new drama club or landed leading roles in Mama Mia and Twelfth Night. The divorce and move, like Chekov’s gun, have been crucial details in getting me where I’m at today.

I know that Chekov’s gun is more about the details in a story, but this philosophy empowers me to take what happens, the good and the bad, as part of my personal character development. Nothing would be happening if it weren’t important.

This summer, as we cleaned our garage in preparation for yet another move, I found my old Annie wig, yarn tangled from the box. Next to the wig was a note, handwritten in a script I’d recognize anywhere. My darling star, it read. You are going to go on to do great things. Love, Grandma ((And a sweet, or bittersweet, conclusion.)) .

AO Notes on Chekov’s Wig

This essay tells a beautiful story about a foundational philosophy in this young writer’s life. As their admission officer, I can see how grounded and positive they are. I can also imagine them taking this lesson to college: really paying attention to life, reflecting on the past, and understanding the value of even the smallest instances. There is an inherent maturity in this essay.

• Creativity: From the first few sentences, we can see that this student is now, and was as a child, creative. An original thinker.
• Reflective: When challenged by their grandmother, the writer didn’t insist that their way was correct. They took the criticism in stride and absorbed it as a salient life lesson. This shows open-mindedness and an uncommon level of maturity.
• Silver linings: It’s clear that this young writer has had some familial challenges that are likely familiar to some of you. They don’t gloss over them, but instead they learn from them. From having more pets to starring in the school musicals, there are lessons to glean from even life’s more difficult challenges.

Personal Statement Example #6: An Afternoon with Grandmother

The Buddhist temple on the hillside above my home has always possessed a deep power for me. With its towering spires and intricate carvings thousands of years old, it is a place of peace and serenity(( This writer opens with some wonderful imagery. I like how the imagery mirrors the meaning.)) —somewhere I can go to escape the chaos of the world and connect with myself and with my sense of spirituality. When my grandmother called me one January to let me know that she would be coming to visit, I smiled, my mind darting immediately to the temple and to the visit of it we would take together.

My relationship with my grandmother is a special one. After my parents passed away, she and my grandfather raised me for three years before I moved in with my father’s sister. In that time, she was my sole companion; she shared her recipes with me, told me stories, and most importantly, she taught me everything I know about spirituality. We spent countless nights staying up past bed-time, talking about the teachings of the Buddha, and she encouraged me gently to explore my own path to enlightenment(( This topic is accomplishing a lot: we see the writer’s relationship with their grandmother, their personal values, and their ideas about who they want to be in the future.)) .

When my grandmother finally arrived, I felt bathed in a warm glow. After catching up and preparing her favorite meal—red rice with miso soup and hot green tea—I told her about the plans I had for us to visit my special place.

Later that afternoon, as we entered the temple, I felt the calmness and tranquility wash over me. I took my grandmother's hand and led her to the main hall, where we knelt before the altar and began to recite the prayers and mantras that I had learned from her years before.

As we prayed, our voices joined together, echoing throughout the temple. A gentle rain began to fall outside and, as the cold crept around where we knelt, I was engulfed by a deep sense of connection with my grandmother and with the universe. It was as if the barriers between us were falling away, and we were becoming one—with each other, and with our shared connection to the divine.

We finished our prayers and sat in silence, lingering in the serenity of the temple. I could feel my grandmother's hand in mine, and I was filled with a sense of gratitude and love(( A great example of weaving vivid language with explicit reflection!)) .

Spirituality has been essential in my life. It gives me a sense of grounding and purpose, and it teaches me the value of compassion. My spirituality has also given me a way to connect with my grandmother on a deeper level—like a private language that only we speak together. In a world that can often feel chaotic and disconnected, faith and spirituality provide a sense of stability and connection.

As we left the temple, I held my grandmother's hand and felt suffused by a sense of peace and contentment. Too often people who are disconnected from spirituality misunderstand the role it plays in billions of people’s lives. They see it as a way to “check out” from the issues the world faces, ignoring their responsibilities to others. This may be true for others, but not me. Quite the opposite. My spirituality helps me empathize with others(( Wonderful reflection.)) ; it helps me focus on the obligations we each have to every other person and creature on this planet. For me, it is the ultimate way to “check in” to the needs of the world and my community in a way that grounds me emotionally.

Spirituality offers a way to find meaning and purpose in life, and to connect with something greater than ourselves. For that, and for my grandmother, I am truly grateful.

AO Notes on An Afternoon with Grandmother

In this deeply reflective essay, the writer uses spirituality and their relationship with their grandmother to reveal a very personal part of themselves. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, and they clearly showcase strengths of wisdom and compassion.

• Vivid language: This author is a talented writer who has included a bunch of vivid language. But it’s not over the top. They include just enough to hold a reader’s attention and add some interest.
• Reflection: The reflection throughout this essay is excellent. Notice how it’s not just at the beginning or the end. It’s woven throughout. The writer follows up each major detail with an explanation of why it’s personally meaningful.
• Conclusion: The conclusion combines vivid language and reflection perfectly. By the end of the essay, we know exactly what the writer wants us to take away: spirituality is personally meaningful to them because it helps them connect with the people around them. And I especially like how the writer chose to end on a note of gratitude—always a good value to have in a personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #7: Rosie’s

While most people find their lowest point at rock bottom, I found mine in an Amerikooler DW081677F-8(( We’re definitely off to an odd start. I’m curious where this is headed!)) . With drops rolling down my back and my cheeks, I snuck into the walk-in freezer for a moment of chill.

At that point, I had worked at Rosie's for nearly a year. The job was a good one: it fit with my school schedule, paid well, and introduced me to close friends. But as a workplace, Rosie’s was pure chaos. The original owners passed on a host of problems the new owners were working hard to fix. But the problems ran deep. From an inefficient kitchen organization to a malfunctioning scheduling software, we never knew what to do or when.

The day I found myself in the Amerikooler was the day everything caught up with us(( This is a good transitional phrase that helps readers navigate this fairly complex narrative.)) . An error in our scheduling software led to us operating with only 30% of our typical team. As the only waitress on duty, I ran between the kitchen and the guests, stopping mid-delivery to put new vegetables in the steamers. The kitchen staff were barely getting through each dish before customers lost patience.

Then, in all the commotion, I dropped a plate of macaroni and cheese all over a customer. I apologized over and over again. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I always tried to be one step ahead to give my customers the best service, so my mistake felt like an utter failure. After helping them clean up, I ran immediately to the freezer. I realized that something had to change.

In the Amerikooler, a pea and corn mix cool on my back, I considered my options. The easiest option was to quit. I could find another job, one that didn’t cause me so much stress. But quitting wouldn’t just mean giving up. It would mean accepting my failure. It would also mean abandoning the coworkers I had grown close to. Leaving them would only burden them more. While I knew it wasn’t my job to fix the restaurant, I knew that leaving wasn’t the answer either. Instead, I decided to focus on solutions(( I like the focus on solutions and action steps here!)) . I stood up from the cold, dirty freezer floor, dusted off my work pants, washed my hands, and got back to work.

Despite being the newest and youngest member of the Rosie’s staff, I recognized that I brought a new perspective to the workplace. Having spent the previous three summers scheduling volunteers for my local food drive, I used my organizing experience to devise a new scheduling system, one that didn’t rely on our outdated technology. I brought up the system at our weekly meeting, and after initial pushback, everyone agreed to give it a try. Three months later, my system keeps everyone happy and our kitchen and floor staffed.

But it wasn’t just the staffing problem that was the issue. Our workflows were inefficient, and we didn’t know how to communicate or collaborate effectively. I know that identifying an issue is always the first step to a solution, so I raised the question at our most recent staff meeting. Having earned my coworkers’ and bosses’ trust(( And here we see some good growth and leadership.)) , I led us in outlining a few new processes to streamline our productivity. In stark contrast to the failure I felt after spilling the macaroni and cheese, developing a new workflow with my coworkers made me proud. I hadn’t given in to the chaos, but I had worked thoughtfully and collaboratively to create new solutions.

I’m sure that won’t be my last time working in a disorganized environment or spilling macaroni and cheese. But I know that I’ll be ready to address whatever comes my way.

AO Notes on Rosie’s

If you’ve ever worked in a food establishment, then something in this essay will probably resonate with you. But I appreciate how the writer doesn’t get pulled into the negativity they experience. Instead, they focused their efforts (and their essay) on how they could make things better for everyone. That’s the kind of student admissions officers want to see on their campuses.

• Organization: The writer has to narrate and backtrack a bit at the beginning of the essay to make the introduction work. But it’s not confusing for a reader because they have very solid transitions. I also like how the action steps and reflection are organized in the narrative.
• Positive outlook: As an admissions officer, I would admire this student for their problem-solving skills. Working in that environment was surely tough, but they didn’t give up. They got to work and helped everyone out in the process.
• Humor: From the introduction to the conclusion, the writer incorporates subtle humor throughout. Because of it, we actually feel like we know the writer by the conclusion. Too much humor can overwhelm a personal essay, but just enough can help readers see who the writer really is.

Personal Statement Example #8: Gone Fishing

I pulled the line with my left hand and snapped the rod back with my right. The line split through the air above me like a knife through cake. I rigidly waved my right arm up and down to dry off my fly, which had started sinking from the weight of the water. Ready to cast, I loosened the grip on my left hand to release a few more feet of line, pulled my right arm back in a grandiose motion, and hammered it back down. I expected my line to fly out in front of me, gracefully floating back onto the surface of the water. Instead, I was met with a startling resistance. My fly had lodged itself into the bush behind me(( This opening paragraph has great vivid description. Here, we end on a moment of suspense that has left me intrigued about what will happen next.)) .

Annoyed, I waded through the tall, thick grass, rod under my arm and mosquitoes buzzing in my ears. This was the reality of fly fishing. In my short time as a fisherman, I’d caught far more trees, bushes, and riverweed than I had fish. What seems so elegant in movies like A River Runs Through It is actually a grueling process of trial and error. I took up flyfishing a year ago to conquer my fear of the outdoors(( Ah ha—we learn that this essay isn’t really about fly fishing. It’s about conquering a fear. And with that, we see that the stakes are high.)) . I could have (and probably should have) chosen a more mild activity like hiking or kayaking, but I’ve always been one to take on a challenge.

I had been afraid of the outdoors since childhood. Coming from a family that prefers libraries to parks and bed and breakfasts to tents, I never learned how to appreciate nature. I limited my time outside as much as I could. I feared the bugs, the sun, and the unknown.

I decided to try flyfishing when I realized I didn’t want to be controlled by my fear any longer(( As an AO, I would applaud this student’s bravery.)) . All the birthday parties I’d turned down, the memories that were made without me, I had missed out on so much. Being outside was an integral part of the human experience—or, at least, that’s what I’d been told. Without being willing to enjoy nature, I was missing out on what it meant to be myself.

Soon after this realization, I found an old rod in my grandpa’s garage and took it as a sign from the universe. On my first time out, my Honda Civic lurched over a ditch on the gravel road Google Maps had directed me to. I’d spent hours watching YouTube videos of proper technique. Stepping out of my car, I felt my skin crack under the dry heat, and I wanted to leave. But I continued on, walking through branches and over logs to the riverbank. I was doing it( More vivid detail that really gives us a sense of the writer’s discomfort—yet they’re persisting.)) .

I pushed myself to continue, no matter how uncomfortable I got. I went back, Saturday after Saturday, each time noticing improvements in my abilities. Along the way, I learned to push myself to do things that make me uncomfortable. I saw myself in a new light. I wasn’t Charlie, afraid of the outdoors. I was Charlie, fisherman.

The first time I caught a fish, I could hardly believe it. Thinking I had caught another piece of riverweed, I tugged on my line and rolled my eyes. But suddenly, it started tugging back. It was a sensation I’d never experienced before, one of haste, pride, and panic. I instantly collected myself, bracing against the bank as I secured the line with my finger and slowly pulled the fish ashore. Delicately removing my hook from its mouth, I admired its beauty. Whereas I had once feared creatures like this trout, I now respected it. Its holographic scales glistened in the sunlight. I thanked it for helping me grow, and I placed it back in the water. It swam away. I wiped the slime off my hands and picked up my rod, left hand tugging at the line, right hand snapping back again((This conclusion is quite long, but I really like this poetic ending. It shows so much growth, and there’s a subtle nod to the fact that the writer is continuing to fish.)) .

AO Notes on Gone Fishing

From all this imagery, I really felt like I was fishing alongside them. What’s better, I feel like I really get where this student is coming from because of their vulnerability. They show immense growth and open-mindedness, which is exactly what admissions officers are looking for.

• Imagery: This writer definitely likes creative writing. From the introduction, we can envision ourselves going on this journey with the writer. There is some excellent “show, don’t tell” here.
• Deep personal meaning: Biggest fears are hard to overcome, especially with such a good attitude. It’s clear that this topic is a meaningful one to the writer. Even the act of fly fishing, which they didn’t seem to like much at first, becomes a meaningful act.
• Narrative arc: We have a classic “going on a journey” essay, where the writer transforms on a journey from point A (being afraid of the outdoors) to point B (catching a fish). The writer’s implementation of this structure is excellent, which makes the essay easy to follow.

Good Personal Statement Examples

Even if your essay isn’t worthy of The New Yorker , you can still make your mark on admissions officers. Writing an essay that fulfills all the goals of a personal statement, whether or not it meets every single criterion an admissions officer is looking for, can still get you into a great college.

Most personal statements are good personal statements, so don’t worry if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amazing essay examples you see online. The key to writing a good personal statement is writing your personal statement. Focus on finding a topic that lets you communicate your own meaning and voice, and you’ll be set.

The following examples are awesome personal statements. There may be a little room for improvement in places, but the essays do exactly what they need to do. And they say a lot about their writers. Let’s see what the writers and admissions officers have to say.

Personal Statement Example #9: Beekeeper’s Club

As I lift the heavy lid of the hive, the hum of thousands of bees fills my ears. I carefully smoke the entrance to calm the bees, and I begin to inspect the frames. The bees are busy at work, collecting nectar and pollen, and tending to their young. I am in awe of their organization.

I never would have thought that I, a high school student, would become a beekeeper(( An interesting hobby for a high school student! I’m intrigued to see where this is going.)) . But now it’s something I can’t imagine my life without.

It all started when I found a beekeeping suit at a garage sale two summers ago. At a mere five dollars, it was yellowing and musty, but it appeared to be fully intact and without any holes. I’ve lived many lives as a hobbyist, always willing to try new things. I’ve been a sailor, a gardener, a basketball player, a harpist, a rock climber, and more. The problem is that I can never manage to see these hobbies through(( I see. Here we get a sense of what’s at stake in this new venture. The problem is that writer can’t seem to hold down a hobby. Will beekeeping solve that problem? Let’s find out .)) . As a perpetual novice, I always lose interest or become overwhelmed by all the information. But that’s never stopped me from taking up a new hobby, so I brought the beekeeping suit to the make-shift register and handed the seller a five-dollar bill.

To embark on my new hobby, I first went to the library and read everything I could find about beekeeping. Research is always my first step when starting something new. I like to know what I’m in for. As I read, I became fascinated by the fact that such small creatures can serve such a critical role on our planet. I learned about the importance of bees for pollinating crops, and I read that their populations have been declining in recent years. I was determined to do my part to help. This wasn’t just a hobby anymore— it was a mission(( And the stakes just got higher.)) .

But like the bees I’d been reading about, I knew I couldn't do it alone. My years of abandoning hobbies had taught me that this time, I needed guidance from someone with experience. I knew the first place to look. At the farmer’s market that Saturday, I went straight to the honey stand and introduced myself. The vendor’s name was Jeremy, and he was excited to see someone so young taking up beekeeping. I asked if I could come see his hives sometime, and he agreed.

I showed up the next weekend with my used beekeeping suit in hand. Jeremy gave me a tour. I was astounded by the simultaneous simplicity and complexity. As the months went by, Jeremy became my mentor. He taught me the importance of monitoring the health of the hive, how to properly harvest honey, and even the ins and outs of the farmer’s market business.

I was grateful for his guidance and friendship. I found myself becoming more and more passionate about bees and the art of beekeeping.

After months of tending to my hive, I finally had it up and running. These bees were in my care(( The writer has shown us that they’ve learned a big lesson from their past failures: they need support and guidance. I’m impressed that this time they are making an intentional change.)) —this was one hobby I couldn’t abandon. With that knowledge and Jeremy’s support, one hive grew to five. I’m not in it for the money or even the honey. I’m in it for the bees, for the millimeter of difference I’m making in their lives and in the life of the earth.

Through beekeeping, I have found a community of people who share my love for bees. Jeremy, the bees, and the entire beekeeping community have taught me not to quit. We support each other, share tips and advice, and work together to help protect these important insects. And in the process, I have learned that I can take up any new hobby I want and stick with it if I just put in enough effort(( Yep—the writer has come out of this journey on the other side, having learned that their effort does pay off.)) .

AO Notes on Beekeeper’s Club

As an admissions officer, it’s always fun to read about students’ eccentric hobbies. I’d count this as one of them. But what’s better than learning about the hobby is seeing a student’s personal growth.

What makes this essay good:

• Personal journey: Most good personal statements show some kind of personal growth. In this case, we see that the writer has grown mature and aware enough to hold down a hobby. We see that it wasn’t an easy road, but they got there.
• Strengths: There are lots of strengths in this personal statement. We see self-awareness, initiative, teamwork, and care for the bees and the planet.
• Reflection: Part of what makes this personal journey so good is that the writer takes us on the journey with them through reflection. At each stage of the journey, we know exactly what the writer is thinking and feeling. By the end, we’re celebrating their success with them.

What the writer could do to level up:

• Personal meaning: Yep, “personal journey” and “personal meaning” can be two separate things. Although the writer goes on a great personal journey, the personal meaning seems to be lacking a bit. It’s clear that this is an important topic to the writer, but it doesn’t exactly come across as an especially vulnerable one. The writer could make it more vulnerable by incorporating more personal meaning into their reflection: what would it have meant if they had quit beekeeping too? What’s the problem with dropping hobbies in the first place? Why is it personally important to learn to stick with things?

Personal Statement Example #10: Ann

Pushing her blonde curls from her forehead, she pursed her lips in focus(( This vivid, detailed description really draws me in.)) . She sat with legs crossed across the kitchen chair. This was it: the moment she’d been preparing for. Her tiny hand gripped the pencil as if it were a stick of dynamite and twitched her fingers up, down, and back again. She looked up at me and smiled, teeth too big for her growing mouth. “Ann,” the paper read. As I glowed back at my mini-me, I saw in her my whole heart(( And here the focus switches from Ann to the writer—an important transition.)) .

My sister was technically an accident, born when I was eleven years old. But I know that, in the grand scheme of things, Ann’s existence was destined by the cosmos. Watching her write was like looking in a mirror. My hair has long since turned brown, but she and I deal with the same unmanageable curls. Her toothy grin developed over five years of mutual laughter. And she got that unwavering focus from watching me do my own homework each night. At the same time I’ve taught her the ways of the world, she’s taught me joy, patience, and persistence(( Lessons learned! This sentence really draws attention to the main theme. It could be a little more specific because “joy, patience, and persistence” are almost cliche.)) .

I had been an only child for my first decade of life. I remember being lonely and without purpose. With Ann came the opportunity to make a real impact on someone, even as a child myself. The night she was born, I vowed to protect her. I had never seen anyone so small and fragile, and I begged my parents to let me hold her. Next to mine, her hand looked like a doll’s. It was purple and pink from the ordeal of birth. Her eyes barely opened, but I couldn’t keep mine off her.

Many older siblings find their younger siblings to be nuisances. But Ann has always been my best friend. Her first two years of life, she struggled with health issues that scared us all. I felt helpless and afraid, but I knew I had to fight alongside her. I did everything I could: I grabbed diapers and bottles for my parents, I talked to her for hours on end, and, when she was old enough, I spoon fed her and encouraged her to eat. As Ann grew bigger and stronger, I grew stronger, too(( It sounds like this was a really difficult challenge for the writer and their family. I appreciate this picture we get of the writer in relation to Ann.)) .

Each year has gotten better than the previous. I was there to catch Ann when she took her first steps, teach her her first words, and get her dressed every day. She tagged behind me as I took photos before my first dance, got my learner’s permit, and went on my college tours. While being a teen with a toddler sibling wasn’t always perfect, Ann’s mere presence makes those around her feel loved and appreciated. She’s exactly who I aspire to be.

Watching her write her name at the kitchen table, I became overwhelmed with the thought of leaving her to head off to college. She still has so much to learn, so many ways to grow. But just as the thought entered my mind, she spoke in her high-pitched and innocent voice. “When you go to college,” she asked, “will you tell me about your classes?” I blinked away the tears gathering in my eyes, smoothed her curls with my hand, and pulled her in close.

Going to college won’t mean leaving Ann. It will mean opening her world—and mine—to endless new knowledge and possibilities. She’ll grow and change, and so will I. When we reunite, we’ll smile our toothy smiles and embrace each other, our curly hair intertwining. We’ll sit at the kitchen table, focused and laughing, like nothing has changed(( I like how the siblings are continuing to grow together, but at the end of the day, they still have their amazing relationship.)) .

AO Notes on Ann

I always find sibling essays like this one so sweet. It’s amazing how clearly we can understand someone solely through their interactions with a loved one. As an admissions officer, I would see that this student would be a great community member (and roommate!).

• Deeply meaningful: Especially with the family context, it’s apparent that this topic is deeply meaningful to the writer. Because it’s so meaningful a topic, the writer is able to show an immense amount of care for Ann without even trying. AOs love seeing traits like care, maturity, and the ability to grow.
• Clear message: Personal statements should have themes that encompass the main message the writer wants to convey. This essay’s message is clear as day: the writer is a better, happier, more generous person because of Ann. They are an awesome sibling.
• More about the self: This one’s tricky because we get an implicit sense of who the writer is now through the overall tone and meaning. But a lot of the personal examples the writer chose are old examples from childhood and early adolescence. Some of those are important to provide family context, but I still would have liked to get a more recent picture of the writer.

Personal Statement Example #11: Running through My Neighborhood

My mind and eyes began to wander as I turned the corner on my fourth mile. I’ve always been a runner. It's a way for me to relax and challenge myself. Running makes me feel like I’m one with the world around me. As I run, I can't help but be struck by the beauty of the buildings and people that make up my city. Each is a work of art—a carefully-crafted expression of my community. With every step, I feel a deep connection to the life around me(( This introduction covers a lot, so this last sentence could be a bit more specific.)) .

On my run, I find myself drawn to the intricate details of the buildings. I admire the way the light catches on centuries-old bricks, casting shadows that dance across the pavement below. I look up at the skyscraper windows that nearly touch the sky, frightened at the sight of window washers. Old and new, the buildings all carry stories.

In the same way, I admire the neighbors around me. I see them feeding pigeons, smiling at me as I pass by. They’re walking dogs and babies, talking on a park bench, and playing hopscotch. I run by them, fast but steady, and breathe it all in. I’m on this beautiful city block, surrounded by people whose whole lives are familiar yet mysterious, and I’m running.

But it's not just the aesthetic beauty of the buildings that grabs my attention. As I run, I find myself thinking about the stories and histories behind each one. I wonder about the people who built them, the families they had at home, the lives they led. I think about the people who have lived and worked in these buildings and the memories that have been made within their walls.

Take the local bakery, for instance. I’ve run by there a thousand times in my life, each time soaking up the smell of freshly-baked bread and pastries. The building seems unassuming at first, with a simple glass door and brick façade. But once you step foot inside, you’re immediately hit with the warmth of the staff and patrons. The old photos on the wall and cozy furniture that has been there since the bakery’s opening back in the 1950s—it feels like home(( These are great vivid details.)) . The bakery is everything I value about my neighborhood. It completely represents what kind of neighbor I want to be. Plus, it’s not a bad place for a post-run snack.

Through my runs, I’ve also made connections with those who frequent the sidewalks alongside me. One of the people I see regularly on my runs is Mrs. Carter, an elderly woman who always has a kind word and a smile for everyone she meets. Her white hair is carefully curled, and her face is dimpled with laugh lines from thousands of conversations like ours. She often stops to chat with me, asking how my day is going and sharing stories from her own life. I always look forward to seeing her. She’s like the grandmother I never had. Mrs. Carter inspires me to be a better community member every day(( This kind of reflection brings the focus back to the writer’s personal journey.)) .

Running through my neighborhood is about more than just staying fit. It’s also about being in community with those around me. As I weave through the people on the sidewalk, I feel as though I am weaving myself through their stories, picking up tidbits and adding them to my own narrative. I wouldn’t be who I am today without these runs that have taught me so much. I can’t wait to run across my college campus, admiring my new surroundings and meeting my new neighbors(( I like this gesture to the future—as an AO, I would start to picture this student running through my campus, too!)) .

AO Notes on Running through My Neighborhood

Running essays can get a bad rap in college admissions. But this one overcomes that stereotype. At its core, this essay is about the runner’s relationship to their community. I really appreciate how much care and enthusiasm this writer shows for those around them.

• Writing: The writer’s voice shines through. They have great vivid descriptions, and we’re really able to envision ourselves in the neighborhood alongside them.
• Personal meaning: The way the writer describes those they encounter in their neighborhood shows that this isn’t a minor part of their life. Their runs are a big deal. The people they see along the way have greatly shaped who they are.
• Greater focus on self: Now, there are much worse culprits when it comes to personal essays that focus on people other than the writer. But the writer does toe the line. Their descriptions mostly focus on those around them, and while there is some reflection that connects their own experience to other people, it doesn’t actually take up much space in the essay. To level up, the writer could make this essay more about themself.

Personal Statement Example #12: Musical Installation Art

As a child, I was always drawn to stringed instruments(( The hook could have more punch, but this gets the job done.)) . I would pluck at my dad's old guitars, create makeshift harps with dental floss, and even play around with the banjo and harp in music class. As I got older, I realized that I wanted to focus on making my own instruments. And where better to start than in my dad's scrapyard? The yard sprawled out for almost five acres behind our house. It was a marvel of junk and oddities, with the accumulated garbage from hundreds of junker cars built up in our backyard. I grew up playing there, leading a childhood that most parents would probably see as reckless—rolling tires through narrow alleyways between crushed cars stacked high. But for me, the backyard was an endless playground for my imagination.

It was there that I discovered the joys of welding and soldering. I would rummage through piles of metal and find pieces that I could fashion into something new. My first sculptures were simple, resembling birds or dogs and pieced together from strips of metal. I’d look for similar art everywhere I went, grasping for inspiration. At a fair one weekend, I saw a booth run by an artist who built guitars. After speaking with him about his art, he asked to see a picture of my sculptures. I showed him and explained that I hoped to make my own instruments one day, too. He scuttled to the back of his tent and returned with a gift: a set of thick copper strings. “Try using those,”(( What an endearing story.)) he told me.

My first sculpture instrument was a crude thing—little more than a board of metal with pegs that I used to pull the copper strings tight. But I tightened them, I was in love—spending all night plucking away. At first, the instrument wailed and screeched. String by string, I delicately tuned the wires into sirens. I had created something that played music, and I was so proud.

My experience building the instrument motivated me to enroll in a sculpture class at the local community college. It was there that I learned how to properly solder metal and create more complex structures. For my final project, I made a three-foot-tall, four-stringed metal instrument in the shape of a dragon.

But as I worked, I started to realize that my dragon wasn't going to be beautiful in the traditional sense. Its metal body was jagged and uneven, and the strings were stretched tight across its back in a way that produced discordant, almost abrasive music. I tried to adjust the tuning, but no matter what I did, the music remained harsh and unpleasant.

At first, I was disappointed. I wanted my dragon to be a work of art, something that people would marvel at and love listening to. But as I continued to play with it, I started to see the beauty in the chaos(( This paragraph shows wonderful growth. And as a reader, I’m drawn in trying to imagine what the sculpture actually looks like.)) . The music it produced was like a musical language that I had invented, one that was wild and untamed. It was a reflection of my own creativity and individuality. A discordant collection of notes that sounded like they’d been tuned so as to be atonal. But I didn't care. I was a scrapyard kid, and this dragon played the song of my people: strong, innovative, and beautiful.

The combination of sculpture and music fascinates me. How does the shape of a fabrication affect the kind of sound that the object produces? What sounds do different materials produce? As I’ve learned more about sculpture, I’ve also become interested in installation art that has sound dimensions. I want to capture people’s visual and aural attention to inspire questions about how we navigate the aesthetic world(( It sounds like this topic potentially relates to the student’s future goals. If that’s true, there could be a clearer academic connection here.)) . And I’ll use whatever scraps I can find to make my creations.

AO Notes on Musical Installation Art

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of musical installation art myself, so this topic really held my attention. I appreciate the journey the writer went on to learn that their art may not look like everyone else’s, but it can be just as impactful.

• Topic: I like this topic not only because it’s not one you see every day but also because it lets the writer reveal a lot about themself and their background. We see where they grew up and who they grew up with, and we also learn about this deeply meaningful personal interest.
• Writing style: This author has a very distinct writing style. In some ways, the writing style mirrors their art style—abrupt at times, melodic at others.
• Organization: The first half of this essay doesn’t always match up with the second half. Even though we’re still able to see the writer’s journey as a metal artist and musician, there’s still a bit of streamlining that needs to happen.

Personal Statement Example #13: Ski Patrol

I can never get enough of being in the mountains(( This hook isn’t very compelling, so it could use some more attention.)) . I am a skier through and through. Growing up, I spent countless family vacations on the slopes with my dad and siblings. I love the rush I get speeding down the mountain—I’ve improved so much over my life that I can now handle most runs I come across. But last year, I took my love for skiing to a whole other level by joining ski patrol.

It was mid-December, and my family had decided to take a weekend away to go skiing. Everything was going normally at first. We had a good day on the slopes and wanted to go one more run before calling it a night. We took a moment to rest and watched the person in front of us go. Only seconds after she headed down the mountain, something happened with her ski. She catapulted into a nearby tree. People raced to check on her, while we stayed back and alerted ski patrol.

When ski patrol arrived, I watched in amazement. They moved in such a precise way. They were like a machine—everyone knew exactly what to do when. Thankfully, it was a false alarm and the skier only had a few scratches. But my own life was changed forever. I knew then that I wanted to be a part of this team, to help others in a tangible way and to make a difference on the mountain that had always been my home.

As soon as I could, I applied for the Junior Ski Patrol team. I had to go through a tryout process on the hill, which made me nervous. But it felt good to be surrounded by people who loved skiing as much as I do. Thankfully, I was accepted shortly after; it was one of the best days of my life. Now on Junior Ski Patrol, I have the opportunity to do what I love – skiing – while also making a positive impact on others(( And here we get to the heart of the essay. The writer wants to help others while doing something they love. It’s a noble pursuit!)) . My team shadows the adult Ski Patrol, and we learn a lot of lessons along the way.

On the mountain (and in life), you never know what challenges might arise. One of the most important things I’ve learned from Junior Ski Patrol is to be prepared for anything. I’ve gotten my CPR and first aid certifications so I’m always prepared to administer life-saving care to anyone who might need it. I know how to pack a bag full of enough essentials to survive harsh weather or injuries.

But ski patrol has also taught me so much more than just how to help others. It has shown me how I work best on a team. I’m not naturally a leader, which is something I’ve always felt ashamed about. After learning from our mentors who all fulfill different roles on their adult Ski Patrol team, I realized that I don’t have to be a leader to be a good team member. The quiet collaborators who can follow the lead, take initiative when needed, and do their jobs really well are just as important as the people who are front-and-center(( An important personal insight.)) .

Being on ski patrol as a high school student has been an incredible journey, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of such a dedicated team. More importantly, I’m proud of the growth I’ve experienced. I went from a person who just loves skiing to a person who is more confident in herself. I no longer feel unprepared or timid. I know exactly how to keep myself safe and work alongside others. While I don’t want to be a professional Ski Patroller or even go into medicine, I know these lessons will serve me well wherever life takes me(( As an AO, I would have been wondering if being on JSP made them want to study medicine, so I appreciate that they answered it for me!)) . But no matter where I end up, when the mountain calls, you know I’ll answer.

AO Notes on Ski Patrol

In this fun hobby-meets-accomplishment essay, the writer shows us their strengths of care and teamwork. I like the crossover between something that they really enjoy and this impressive accomplishment they have of being on Junior Ski Patrol.

• Lessons learned: The writer makes it very clear what lessons they learned from Junior Ski Patrol. Lessons don’t always have to be this explicit, but I appreciate how the writer really takes the time to reflect on what they’ve learned.
• Personal insight: Okay, this point is related to the lessons learned. But it’s important to draw out on its own because personal essays are, of course, personal. This topic easily could have been just about skiing down a mountain or administering first aid on patrol. Instead, the writer kept the focus inward to meet the expectations of a personal essay.
• What’s at stake?: We do get a good sense of personal meaning. But the writer could do a better job of speaking to the significance of this activity to their life. A good question to ask is, “What’s at stake?” What would I have lost or gained if this story had turned out differently? Asking these questions can also help you figure out what it is that you want an admissions officer to learn from your personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #14: The Regulars

One pump of vanilla syrup. Frothed milk. One espresso shot. Caramel drizzle(( Starting with some version of the following sentence would have been a stronger hook.)) . Like a scientist at her bench, I have methodically repeated these steps four days a week for the past two years. During my time as a Starbucks barista, I’ve learned hundreds of recipes and customizations. I know all the secret menu hacks, and I’ve developed several recipes for friends and family too. I pride myself on speed, quality, and memory. My favorite part of the job is the customer service. As one of the busiest locations in the region, I’ve caffeinated thousands. But it’s my regular customers, those whose orders I know like the back of my hand, who have truly impacted me.

Venti Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew, hold the vanilla syrup. A busy mom of four, Chelsea is always in a hurry. I try to catch her the moment she enters the store so I can get started right away. Her Venti drink fuels her through school dropoffs and pickups, gymnastics lessons, and evening math homework. Throughout my conversations with her, I’ve learned that Chelsea is a scheduling virtuoso. As someone with ADHD(( This paragraph is almost too much about Chelsea, so this sentence is crucial to bring the focus back to the writer.)) , I became so inspired by her ability to juggle so many people and schedules simultaneously. After asking her for advice, she helped me find a time management system that I can keep up with. I have Chelsea to thank for my improved grades.

Grande dark roast, no room for cream. Mr. Williams is a retired businessman who always tips 100%. Mr. Williams is a quiet man, so it took me months to draw any information from him. Instead of using my over-the-top customer service voice, I eventually learned to be myself. When I got him to open up, I discovered that he was a service worker himself before he made it big in business in his sixties. The truth is, Mr. Williams has tipped me hundreds of dollars throughout my time here, which is extra money that will help me pay for college. He’s taught me the value of quiet generosity(( Let’s be honest. Mr. Williams sounds like a cool guy. But Mr. Williams isn’t applying to college—the writer is! I like that we get small glimpses into who the writer is through this paragraph, but there’s still room for more.)) .

Tall soy London Fog. Sweet Darla gave up coffee twenty-five years ago, but she still loves an occasional treat. When Darla enters, I clear my schedule. She always has stories to tell about the eighty years of life she’s lived. Darla is everything I want to be at that age: she’s spunky, opinionated, and hilarious(( Here we learn a lot about the writer through Darla.)) . Sometimes I tell Darla stories of my own. When I explained the dramatic series of events that led to me landing first chair in my symphony, she said she was going to retell it her bridge club. Making Darla laugh so hard will always be one of my proudest moments.

Grande iced matcha. Taylor is my age and goes to my school. When I took her order for the first time, I felt embarrassed that I needed to work to support myself while she could enjoy expensive drinks. But her kindness softened me. As time went on, I learned that she visited Starbucks so much because she wanted to get out of her house, which wasn’t a very happy place. While I have to take on as many shifts as possible, I still have a happy home to return to afterward. Now Taylor comes in near the end of my shift so we can take our drinks and have dinner at my house.

When you work in customer service, customers enter and exit your life like a revolving door. But the regulars, those special people who draw connections from daily but brief interactions, stick with you for life. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for these people, and I would never have met them if it weren’t for my job as a barista. I haven’t just been making drinks these past two years. I’ve been making friends(( The conclusion does a good job tying all these different stories back together. )) .

AO Notes on The Regulars

No one appreciates a good barista story more than a tired admissions officer on their 30th application of the day! I like the personality that comes through in this essay especially. But this is one of those cases where it’s almost too much about other people.

• Creative take: Not every college essay needs a creative flair. In fact, sometimes going for “unique” structures can detract from an essay. But I like how the writer uses this format to structure the essay.
• Organization: This essay isn’t one a reader is bound to get lost in. The introduction sets up the essay well, it’s easy to see the connections between the points the writer is conveying, and the conclusion brings the focus back to the writer.
• More focus on self: While we do learn about the writer in this essay, we also learn a lot about Chelsea, Mr. Williams, Darla, and Taylor. The writer could have pared down the descriptions of other people—or cut one of the examples altogether—to save more room for personal reflection.

“Bad” Personal Statement Examples

These “bad” essays aren’t necessarily bad. They just aren’t very effective personal statements. Specifically, these two essays make some of the biggest college essay mistakes.

Making mistakes, especially when you’ve never written a personal statement before, is to be expected. We’ve included these examples so you can see what those mistakes look like in real-time. Learning from ineffective examples can be just as helpful as learning from the exceptional ones, so grab your pencil and start taking notes.

Our admissions officers have highlighted what’s working and what’s not. They offer helpful commentary and advice for revisions that you can use to assess your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #15: The Worst Year

My sophomore year of high school presented me with so many challenges(( This hook definitely gets straight to the point, but it doesn’t draw me in as a reader.)) . I struggled with a lot that year and barely managed to get by. It was the greatest challenge I ever faced.

The year started out like any other but soon went into chaos. My brother suddenly started struggling with drugs and alcohol. Before that, we didn’t know how bad he was hurting. But one night he finally came to us for help because apparently he had been using substances to cope with his emotions. He was scared because he felt like he had reached a breaking point and needed support. My parents didn’t want to help because they thought that he didn’t have a problem but I know my brother and I knew that he didn’t seem like himself. It was so sad to watch him go through that. I tried my best to help him but I was only a kid. I couldn’t really do anything besides tell him I loved him. Eventually my parents decided to get him some help, so he went away for a while and I wrote him letters every week and visited him as much as I could. The treatment he got helped thankfully. He’s doing better now and I am grateful that he is my brother.

But then Covid hit and I couldn’t even leave my house. We thought it would just be a two week vacation to school but it turned into two whole years of my life gone just like that. At the beginning I was stuck in my bedroom while my parents were working their jobs from the living room. Everyone was constantly getting annoyed with each other and driving each other wild. I would be doing a class Zoom in my room and I could hear my parents in a meeting in the living room. I had a hard time not being able to see my friends. I couldn't focus and my grades dropped. Even my teachers didn’t really seem to care. I was sick of staring at black Zoom screens all the time that I even stopped logging on. All of that combined led to me becoming very depressed and anxious. My grades dropped even more because I just couldn’t pay attention or focus enough to do my homework. I ended up getting grades way lower than I ever thought I would that year and I’m so frustrated about it because it felt like I was trying my best but it just wasn’t enough(( Here we see the writer opening up a bit and reflecting on what it was like to go through that experience.)) .

Even once we finally got back in school things didn’t get much better. The pandemic was just too much for my family so my parents ended up getting divorced at the beginning of my junior year. After all we had been through together seeing them separate made me devastated. My dad got an apartment and I had to go back and forth between their houses and pack up all my stuff every time. It was like moving my entire life every weekend. My brother was out of the house by this point so it was just me all by myself. My school was far from my dad’s new place so I’d have a long commute on the weeks I was with him. He was stressed at work and about the divorce and I just ended up feeling so lonely and spending most of my time in my room. My grades got better once online school stopped(( This moment of hope does a lot for moving the essay forward.)) but I had a hard time keeping close relationships with my friends because they didn’t like that I was living far away now and that we couldn’t really hang out anymore.

I couldn’t believe that two years would change so much. Getting through everything really challenged me. But I’m glad to be moving forward with my life.

AO Notes on The Worst Year

This student definitely had a challenging year. It’s clear that they’ve overcome a lot, and I appreciate their willingness to share their struggles. I like that the very last sentence

What this essay does well:

• Vulnerability: Writing about challenges is never easy, especially when you’re writing to people you don’t know. This writer is bold and unafraid in doing so.

What could be improved on:

• Not enough positivity: Here’s the thing. You definitely don’t need to be able to spin all of your challenging experiences into positive ones. But the topics you choose to write your college essay about should ultimately conclude on a positive note. You want your college essay to show you in a positive light, so you should choose a topic that lets you find a light, positive, or hopeful resolution.

Personal Statement Example #16: The Strikeout that Changed My Life

The stadium lights shone brightly in my eyes. I stepped up to the plate and drew back my bat. I wiggled my fingers, waiting. The pitcher wound up his arm and threw the ball towards me. My eyes worked overtime to track the ball. I watched as it flew directly towards the center of the plate and made a last-minute curve(( I like this vivid description.)) . It went straight into the catcher’s mitt. “Strike three!” the umpire yelled. That was the time I struck out at the quarter-finals. My team was so close to making it to the championship that we could taste it. It was the bottom of the sixth, and I gave up a valuable chance to score game-winning runs. We ended up losing. I learned a valuable lesson that fateful day. I never wanted to let my team down like that again(( And the writer jumps quickly into the main theme of the essay. Still, the message here could be more specific.)) .

We had advanced through our bracket without much trouble. The other teams were no match for our work ethic and teamwork. We were in perfect sync. As the first baseman, I was ready for any throw that came my way. We were also hitting well. I scored three home runs throughout the course of the tournament. We were a high-functioning machine. But for a machine to work, each cog has to function correctly. When I stepped up to the plate in the sixth inning, I was a broken cog.

After our quarter–final loss, I grieved with my teammates. Then I went off on my own to think. How had I let my team down so badly? How did I not even try to swing at that pitch? It was all my fault. I had to figure out what I had done wrong so I would never make the mistake again. I realized that I had been thinking selfishly. I was concerned about my own performance, my own at-bat averages(( This is a good reflection.)) . I was scared of failing because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. And worrying about all of those things caused me to lose focus and miss my chance to make a difference. Instead, I should have been thinking about how my at-bat would contribute to my team’s overall goal of winning the game.

I returned to where my teammates were congregating, and several of them patted me on the back. The next day, we went over how the game went as a team and talked about how we could improve at our tournament the following weekend. I admitted that I felt like I let the team down. My teammates said that they understood and reassured me that mistakes happen. It wasn’t my failed at-bat alone that lost us the game. Like winning, losing is a team effort. It was a culmination of lots of little issues. At the end of the day, the other team just out-performed us. But we could try hard, practice a lot, and return triumphant next weekend.

Letting my team down was a crushing blow to my self-esteem. I never want to feel like that again, but I know that the experience caused me to grow. Through all of this, I learned that I have to trust myself and my team(( Here we get to the lesson learned.)) . Focusing on myself alone can only get me so far. But focusing on my team can get me to where I want to go. I’m actually thankful that I struck out in that sixth inning because it caused me to learn an important life lesson.

AO Notes on The Strikeout that Changed My Life

This essay on its own definitely isn’t “bad.” As far as essays go, it’s clear, well-written, and organized nicely. But as a college essay, it could be doing more work on the writer’s behalf. See, as an admissions officer, I don’t actually learn that much about the writer from this essay alone. I see that they like baseball, are a good teammate, and can overcome failure. Those are wonderful traits, but they don’t exactly help set this student apart on the admissions committee floor. Instead, the student could make this essay more vulnerable and personal.

• Writing: The writer uses some great creative writing skills to really set the scene for the readers. In that first paragraph, I really feel like I’m there watching the game.
• Reflection: Even though the topic could be more significant, the writer does a great job reflecting on the meaning they drew from the experience.
• Significance: It’s very clear that this topic holds a lot of meaning to the writer. But as a college essay topic, it lacks vulnerability and stakes.

Key Takeaways

Writing a personal statement is a difficult ask, especially when you’ve never even read one before. But now, with these fifteen examples in your back pocket, you’re ready to write your own.

If you’re not sure what steps to take next, hop on over to our guide to writing personal statements for advice. You can also find more extensive guidance on the Essay Academy , a comprehensive college essay writing video course and community.

Happy writing! 🥳

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How to Write an Amazing Personal Statement (Includes Examples!)

Lisa Freedland is a Scholarships360 writer with personal experience in psychological research and content writing. She has written content for an online fact-checking organization and has conducted research at the University of Southern California as well as the University of California, Irvine. Lisa graduated from the University of Southern California in Fall 2021 with a degree in Psychology.

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Zach Skillings is the Scholarships360 Newsletter Editor. He specializes in college admissions and strives to answer important questions about higher education. When he’s not contributing to Scholarships360, Zach writes about travel, music, film, and culture. His work has been published in Our State Magazine, Ladygunn Magazine, The Nocturnal Times, and The Lexington Dispatch. Zach graduated from Elon University with a degree in Cinema and Television Arts.

Bill Jack has over a decade of experience in college admissions and financial aid. Since 2008, he has worked at Colby College, Wesleyan University, University of Maine at Farmington, and Bates College.

Maria Geiger is Director of Content at Scholarships360. She is a former online educational technology instructor and adjunct writing instructor. In addition to education reform, Maria’s interests include viewpoint diversity, blended/flipped learning, digital communication, and integrating media/web tools into the curriculum to better facilitate student engagement. Maria earned both a B.A. and an M.A. in English Literature from Monmouth University, an M. Ed. in Education from Monmouth University, and a Virtual Online Teaching Certificate (VOLT) from the University of Pennsylvania.

The personal statement. It’s one of the most important parts of the entire college application process. This essay is the perfect opportunity to show admissions officers who you are and what makes you stand out from the crowd. But writing a good personal statement isn’t exactly easy. That’s why we’ve put together the ultimate guide on how to nail your personal statement, complete with example essays . Each essay was reviewed and commented upon by admissions expert Bill Jack. Let’s dive in!

Related: How to write an essay about yourself  

What is a personal statement? 

A personal statement is a special type of essay that’s required when you’re applying to colleges and scholarship programs. In this essay, you’re expected to share something about who you are and what you bring to the table. Think of it as a chance to reveal a side of yourself not found in the rest of your application. Personal statements are typically around 400 – 600 words in length. 

What can I write about? 

Pretty much anything, as long as it’s about you . While this is liberating in the sense that your writing options are nearly unlimited, it’s also overwhelming for the same reason. The good news is that you’ll probably be responding to a specific prompt. Chances are you’re applying to a school that uses the Common App , which means you’ll have seven prompts to choose from . Reviewing these prompts can help generate some ideas, but so can asking yourself meaningful questions. 

Below you’ll find a list of questions to ask yourself during the brainstorming process. For each of the following questions, spend a few minutes jotting down whatever comes to mind. 

• What experiences have shaped who you are? 
• What’s special or unique about you or your life story? 
• Who or what has inspired you the most? 
• What accomplishments are you most proud of? 
• What are your goals for the future? How have you arrived at those goals? 
• If your life was a movie, what would be the most interesting scene? 
• What have been some of the biggest challenges in your life? How did you respond and what did you learn? 

The purpose of these questions is to prompt you to think about your life at a deeper level. Hopefully by reflecting on them, you’ll find an essay topic that is impactful and meaningful. In the next section, we’ll offer some advice on actually writing your essay. 

Also see:  How to write a 500 word essay

How do I write my personal statement? 

Once you’ve found a topic, it’s time to start writing! Every personal statement is different, so there’s not really one formula that works for every student. That being said, the following tips should get you started in the right direction:  

1. Freewrite, then rewrite 

The blank page tends to get more intimidating the longer you stare at it, so it’s best to go ahead and jump right in! Don’t worry about making the first draft absolutely perfect. Instead, just get your ideas on the page and don’t spend too much time thinking about the finer details. Think of this initial writing session as a “brain dump”. Take 15-30 minutes to quickly empty all your thoughts onto the page without worrying about things like grammar, spelling, or sentence structure. You can even use bullet points if that helps. Once you have your ideas on the page, then you can go back and shape them exactly how you want. 

2. Establish your theme 

Now that you’ve got some basic ideas down on the page, it’s time to lock in on a theme. Your theme is a specific angle that reflects the central message of your essay. It can be summarized in a sentence or even a word. For example, let’s say you’re writing about how you had to establish a whole new group of friends when you moved to a new city. The theme for this type of essay would probably be something like “adaptation”. Having a theme will help you stay focused throughout your essay. Since you only have a limited number of words, you can’t afford to go off on tangents that don’t relate to your theme. 

3. Tell a story

A lot of great essays rely on a specific scene or story. Find the personal anecdote relevant to your theme and transfer it to the page. The best way to do this is by using descriptive language. Consult the five senses as you’re setting the scene. What did you see, hear, taste, touch, or smell? How were you feeling emotionally? Using descriptive language can really help your essay come to life. According to UPchieve , a nonprofit that supports low income students, focusing on a particular moment as a “ revised version of a memoir ” is one way to keep readers engaged. 

Related: College essay primer: show, don’t tell  

4. Focus on your opening paragraph

Your opening paragraph should grab your reader’s attention and set the tone for the rest of your essay. In most cases, this is the best place to include your anecdote (if you have one). By leading with your personal story, you can hook your audience from the get-go. After telling your story, you can explain why it’s important to who you are. 

Related:  How to start a scholarship essay (with examples)

5. Use an authentic voice 

Your personal statement reflects who you are, so you should use a tone that represents you. That means you shouldn’t try to sound like someone else, and you shouldn’t use fancy words just to show off. This isn’t an academic paper, so you don’t have to adopt a super formal tone. Instead, write in a way that allows room for your personality to breathe. 

6. Edit, edit, edit…

Once you’re done writing, give yourself some time away from the essay. Try to allow a few days to pass before looking at the essay again with fresh eyes. This way, you’re more likely to pick up on spelling and grammatical errors. You may even get some new ideas and rethink the way you wrote some things. Once you’re satisfied, let someone else edit your essay. We recommend asking a teacher, parent, or sibling for their thoughts before submitting. 

Examples of personal statements 

Sometimes viewing someone else’s work is the best way to generate inspiration and get the creative juices flowing. The following essays are written in response to four different Common App prompts: 

Prompt 1: “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

When I was eight years old, I wanted a GameCube very badly. For weeks I hounded my dad to buy me one and finally he agreed. But there was a catch. He’d only get me a GameCube if I promised to start reading. Every day I played video games, I would have to pick up a book and read for at least one hour. At that point in my life, reading was just something I had to suffer through for school assignments. To read for pleasure seemed ludicrous. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about this proposed agreement. But I figured anything was worth it to get my hands on that shiny new video game console, so I bit the bullet and shook my dad’s hand. Little did I know that I had just made a life-changing deal. 

At first, the required hour of reading was a chore — something I had to do so I could play Mario Kart. But it quickly turned into something more than that. To my complete and utter surprise, I discovered that I actually enjoyed reading. One hour turned into two, two turned into three, and after a while I was spending more time reading than I was playing video games. I found myself captivated by the written word, and I read everything I could get my hands on. Lord of the Rings , Percy Jackson , Goosebumps — you name it. I was falling in love with literature, while my GameCube was accumulating dust in the TV stand. 

Soon enough, reading led to writing. I was beginning to come up with my own stories, so I put pen to paper and let my imagination run wild. It started out small. My first effort was a rudimentary picture book about a friendly raccoon who went to the moon. But things progressed. My stories became more intricate, my characters more complex. I wrote a series of science fiction novellas. I tried my hand at poetry. I was amazed at the worlds I could create with the tip of my pen. I had dreams of becoming an author. 

Then somewhere along the way my family got a subscription to Netflix, and that completely changed the way I thought about storytelling. My nose had been buried in books up until then, so I hadn’t really seen a lot of movies. That quickly changed. It seemed like every other day a pair of new DVDs would arrive in the mail (this was the early days of Netflix). Dark Knight, The Truman Show, Inception, Memento — all these great films were coming in and out of the house. And I couldn’t get enough of them. Movies brought stories to life in a way that books could not. I was head over heels for visual storytelling. 

Suddenly I wasn’t writing novels and short stories anymore. I was writing scripts for movies. Now I wanted to transfer my ideas to the big screen, rather than the pages of a book. But I was still doing the same thing I had always done. I was writing, just in a different format. To help with this process, I read the screenplays of my favorite films and paid attention to the way they were crafted. I kept watching more and more movies. And I hadn’t forgotten about my first love, either. I still cherished books and looked to them for inspiration. By the end of my junior year of high school, I had completed two scripts for short films. 

So why am I telling you all this? Because I want to turn my love of storytelling into a career. I’m not totally sure how to do that yet, but I know I have options. Whether it’s film production, creative writing, or even journalism, I want to find a major that suits my ambitions. Writing has taken me a long way, and I know it can take me even further. As I step into this next chapter of my life, I couldn’t be more excited to see how my craft develops. In the meantime, I should probably get rid of that dusty old GameCube. 

Feedback from admissions professional Bill Jack

Essays don’t always have to reveal details about the student’s intended career path, but one thing I like about this essay is that it gives the reader a sense of the why. Why do they want to pursue storytelling. It also shows the reader that they are open to how they pursue their interest. Being open to exploration is such a vital part of college, so it’s also showing the reader that they likely will be open to new things in college. And, it’s always fun to learn a little bit more about the student’s family, especially if the reader can learn about how the students interacts with their family. 

Prompt 2: “The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?”

I remember my first impression of Irvine: weird. It was foggy, stock-full of greenery and eucalyptus trees, and reminded me of my 5th grade trip to a “science camp” which was located in the San Bernardino mountains. Besides Irvine, that was one of the few places in Southern California where you’d find so many non-palm trees. 

Of course, perhaps my initial impression of Irvine was biased, motivated by a desire to stay in my hometown and a fear of the unknown. While that was true to an extent, Irvine was certainly still a little peculiar. The city itself was based on a “master plan” of sorts, with the location of each of its schools, parks, shops, and arguably its trees having been logically “picked” before the foundation was poured. Even the homes all looked roughly the same, with their beige, stucco walls almost serving as a hallmark of the city itself.

Thus, this perfectly structured, perfectly safe city seemed like a paradise of sorts to many outsiders, my parents included. I was a little more hesitant to welcome this. As I saw it, this was a phony city – believing that its uniformity stood for a lack of personality. My hometown, although not as flawlessly safe nor clean as Irvine, was where most of my dearest memories had occurred. From the many sleepovers at Cindie’s house, to trying to avoid my school’s own version of the “infamous” cheese touch, to the many laughs shared with friends and family, I shed a tear at the prospect of leaving my home.

Moving into the foreign city, remnants of the hostility I held towards Irvine remained. Still dwelling in my memories of the past, I was initially unable to see Irvine as a “home.” So, as I walked into my first-ever Irvine class, being greeted by many kind, yet unfamiliar faces around me, I was unable to recognize that some of those new faces would later become some of my dearest friends. Such negative feelings about the city were further reinforced by newer, harder classes, and more complicated homework. Sitting in the discomfort of this unfamiliar environment, it started to seem that “change” was something not only inevitable, but insurmountable.

As the years went on, however, this idea seemed to fade. I got used to my classes and bike racing through Irvine neighborhoods with my friends, watching the trees that once seemed just a “weird” green blob soon transform into one of my favorite parts of the city. While I kept my old, beloved memories stored, I made space for new ones. From carefully making our way over the narrow creek path next to our school, to the laughs we shared during chemistry class, my new memories made with friends seemed to transform a city I once disliked into one I would miss. 

Through this transformation, I have come to recognize that change, although sometimes intimidating at first, can open the door to great times and meaningful connections. Although Irvine may have once seemed like a strange, “phony” place that I couldn’t wait to be rid of, the memories and laughs I had grown to share there were very real. As I move onto this next part of my life, I hope I can use this knowledge that I have gained from my time in Irvine to make the most of what’s to come. Even if the change may be frightening at first, I have learned to embrace what’s on the other side, whether green or not.

One huge plus to writing an essay that focuses on a place is that you might have it read by someone who has been there. Yet, what’s really helpful about this essay is that even if someone hasn’t been there, a picture is painted about what the place is like.  Admission officers have the hard task of really understanding what the student sees, so the use of adjectives and imagery can really help.  It’s also really clever to see that the green that’s mentioned at the beginning is mentioned at the end.  It’s a nice way to bookend the essay and tie it all together.

Prompt 6: “Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?”

I like getting lost. Not literally, of course, but figuratively. Whether it be in the story of a love song by Taylor Swift, or in the memories brought back by listening to my favorite childhood video game’s background music, I’ve always appreciated music’s ability to transport me to another place, another time, another feeling. 

Alas, I cannot sing, nor have I practiced an instrument since my middle school piano class days. So, perhaps Kurt Vonnegut was right. As he puts it, “Virtually every writer I know would rather be a musician.” While I cannot speak for others, I have certainly not debunked his theory. Writing allows many, including myself, to attempt to mimic the transformative power of music – even if our singing voices aren’t exactly “pleasant.” Just as you can get lost in music, you can do so in a story. Whether it is in George Orwell’s totalitarian Oceania, or Little Women’s Orchard House, the stories outlined in novels can provide an amazing look into the lives and worlds of others, and an escape from the worries and problems of those in your own.

While I am certainly not claiming to have the storytelling abilities of the Orwells or Alcotts before me, I’ve had fun trying to recreate such transformative feelings for others. When I was nine, I attempted to write a story about a little girl who had gotten lost in the woods, only managing to get a couple pages through. As I got older, whenever I was assigned a creative writing assignment in school, I wrote about the same pig, Phil. He was always angry: in my 8th grade science class, Phil was mad at some humans who had harbored his friend captive, and in my 9th grade English class, at a couple who robbed him. 

Thus, when I heard about a writing club being opened at my school in 11th grade, I knew I had to join. I wanted to discern whether writing was just a hobby I picked up now and then, or a true passion. If it was a passion, I wanted to learn as much as possible about how I could improve. Although my high school’s writing club certainly wasn’t going to transform me into Shakespeare, I knew I could learn a lot from it – and I did. The club challenged me to do many things, from writing on the spot, to writing poetry, to even writing about myself, something that’s hopefully coming in handy right now. 

From then on, I started to expand into different types of writing, storing short ideas, skits, and more in appropriately-labeled Google Drive folders. At around the same time, I became interested in classic literature, which largely stemmed from a project in English class. We had been required to choose and read a classic on our own, then present it to the class in an interesting way. While my book was certainly interesting and unique in its own right, nearly everyone else’s novels seemed more captivating to me. So, I took it upon myself to read as many classics as I could the following summer.

One of the books I read during the summer, funnily enough, was Animal Farm, which starred angry pigs, reminiscent of Phil. I had also started going over different ideas in my head, thinking about how I could translate them into words using the new skills I learned. While the writing club helped reaffirm my interest in writing and allowed me to develop new skills, my newfound affinity for classics gave me inspiration to write. Now, I am actually considering writing as part of my future. In this endeavor, I hope that Phil, and the music I inevitably listen to as I write, will accompany me every step of the way.

Admission officers might read 70 (or more!) essays in one day. It’s not uncommon for them to start to blend together and sound similar. This essay might not make you laugh out loud. But, it might make the reader chuckle while reading it thanks to the subtle humor and levity. Being able to incorporate a little humor into your essay (if it is natural for you to do… do not force it), can really be a great way to shed additional light into who you are. Remember, the essay isn’t merely about proving that you can write, but it should also reveal a little bit about your personality.

Prompt 5: “Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.”

I learned a lot of things during the summer I worked at Tropical Smoothie. I discovered the value of hard work. I figured out how to save money. I even mastered the art of the Mango Magic smoothie (the secret is lots of sugar). But most importantly, I learned the power of perspective. And I have Deja to thank for that. 

Deja was my shift supervisor, and one of Tropical Smoothie’s best employees. She was punctual, friendly, and always willing to lend a helping hand. She knew the store from top to bottom, and could handle pretty much any situation thrown her way. She made everyone around her better. On top of all that, she was four months pregnant! I was always impressed by Deja’s work ethic, but I gained an entirely new level of respect for her one day.

It was a Friday night, and Deja and I were working the closing shift together. It was very busy, and Deja and I were the only ones on shift. We managed to get by, but we were exhausted by the end of the evening. After wiping down the counters and mopping the floors, we closed up shop and went our separate ways. I was eager to get home. 

I walked a couple blocks to where I had parked my car. Well, it wasn’t my car actually. It was my dad’s ‘98 Chevy pickup truck, and it was in rough shape. It had no heat or A/C, the leather seats were cracked beyond repair, and the driver’s side door was jammed shut. I sighed as I got in through the passenger side and scooted over to the driver’s seat. The whole reason I was working at Tropical Smoothie was to save up enough money to buy my own car. I was hoping to have something more respectable to drive during my senior year of high school. 

I cranked the old thing up and started on my way home. But soon enough, I spotted Deja walking on the side of the road. There was no sidewalk here, the light was low, and she was dangerously close to the passing cars. I pulled over and offered her a ride. She got in and explained that she was on her way home. Apparently she didn’t have a car and had been walking to work every day. I couldn’t believe it. Here I was complaining about my set of wheels, while Deja didn’t have any to begin with.

We got to talking, and she confessed that she had been having a tough time. You would never know from the way she was so cheerful at work, but Deja had a lot on her plate. She was taking care of her mother, her boyfriend had just lost his job, and she was worried about making ends meet. And of course, she was expecting a baby in five months. On top of all that, she had been walking nearly a mile to and from work every day. The whole thing was a real eye opener, and made me reconsider some things in my own life. 

For one, I didn’t mind driving my dad’s truck anymore. It was banged up, sure, but it was a lot better than nothing. My mindset had changed. I appreciated the truck now. I began to think about other things differently, too. I started making mental notes of all the things in my life I was thankful for — my family, my friends, my health. I became grateful for what I had, instead of obsessing over the things I didn’t. 

I also gained more awareness of the world outside my own little bubble. My encounter with Deja had shown me first-hand that everyone is dealing with their own problems, some worse than others. So I started paying more attention to my friends, family members, and coworkers. I started listening more and asking how I could help. I also gave Deja a ride home for the rest of the summer. 

These are all small things, of course, but I think they make a difference. I realized I’m at my best when I’m not fixated on my own life, but when I’m considerate of the lives around me. I want to keep this in mind as I continue to grow and develop as a person. I want to continue to search for ways to support the people around me. And most importantly, I want to keep things in perspective.

Too often we can be focused on our own problems that we fail to realize that everyone has their own things going on in their lives, too.  This essay showcases how it’s important to put things in perspective, a skill that certainly will prove invaluable in college… and not just in the classroom.  Another reason I like this essay is because it provides deeper insight into the student’s life.  Sure, you might have mentioned in your activities list that you have a job.  But as this essay does, you can show why you have the job in the first place, what your responsibilities are, and more.

A few last tips

We hope these essay examples gave you a bit of inspiration of what to include in your own. However, before you go, we’d like to send you off with a few (personal statement) writing tips to help you make your essays as lovely as the memories and anecdotes they’re based off of. Without further ado, here are some of our best tips for writing your personal statements:

1. Open strong

College admissions officers read many, many essays (think 50+) a day, which can sometimes cause them to start blending together and sounding alike. One way to avoid your essay from simply fading into the background is to start strong. This means opening your essay with something memorable, whether an interesting personal anecdote, a descriptive setting, or anything else that you think would catch a reader’s attention (so long as it’s not inappropriate). Not only might this help college admissions officers better remember your essay, but it will also make them curious about what the rest of your essay will entail.

2. Be authentic

Perhaps most important when it comes to writing personal statement essays is to maintain your authenticity. Ultimately, your essays should reflect your unique stories and quirks that make you who you are, and should help college admissions officers determine whether you’d truly be a good fit for their school or not. So, don’t stress trying to figure out what colleges are looking for. Be yourself, and let the colleges come to you!

3. Strong writing

This one may seem a little obvious, but strong writing will certainly appeal to colleges. Not only will it make your essay more compelling, but it may show colleges that you’re ready for college-level essay writing (that you’ll likely have to do a lot of). Just remember that good writing is not limited to grammar. Using captivating detail and descriptions are a huge part of making your essay seem more like a story than a lecture.

4. Proofread

Last but not least, remember to proofread! Make sure your essay contains no errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. When you’re done proofreading your essay yourself, we would also recommend that you ask a teacher, parent, or other grammatically savvy person to proofread your essay as well.

Final thoughts 

With those in hand, we hope you now have a better sense of how to write your personal statement. While your grades and test scores are important when it comes to college admissions, it’s really your essays that can “make” or “break” your application. 

Although this may make it seem like a daunting task, writing an amazing personal statement essay is all about effort. Thus, so long as you start early, follow the advice listed above, and dedicate your time and effort to it, it’s entirely possible to write an essay that perfectly encapsulates you. Good luck, and happy writing!

Also see:  Scholarships360’s free scholarships search tool

Key Takeaways

• It may take some people longer than others to know what they want to write about, but remember that everyone, including you, has something unique to write about!
• Personal statements should be personal, which means you should avoid being too general and really strive to show off what makes you “you”
• Time and effort are two of the most important things you can put into your personal statement to ensure that it is the best representation of yourself
• Don’t forget to ask people who know you to read your work before you submit; they should be able to tell you better than anyone if you are truly shining through!

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How to Write a Personal Statement for College (15+ Examples)

Reviewed by:

Former Admissions Committee Member, Columbia University

Reviewed: 4/25/24

Are you struggling to write your college personal statement? You’re in luck! Read on for a complete guide on how to write a strong personal statement.

Writing a personal statement can feel daunting. May students struggle to frame themselves the way they want to — and we get it! It’s not always easy to talk about yourself. With that said, how do you write a compelling personal statement?

We’ll review how to write the perfect personal statement, from what colleges look for to successful examples of personal statements. If you still have questions by the end, you can always set up a free consultation with one of our admissions experts to kickstart your college application. 

Let’s get started!

What is a Personal Statement?

A personal statement is a college admissions essay, providing you with the opportunity to sell yourself in the application process. It shares information beyond what admissions committees have already seen in your other application materials.

This is your chance to show colleges your personality, strengths, and what matters most to you. Generally speaking, there are two types of personal statements:

A general personal statement is an open-ended essay with very few constraints, sometimes with no prompt or word count. While this type of personal statement allows you to write about whatever you want, it should tell admissions committees about you. General or open-ended personal statements are common in med or law school applications.

A response personal statement is an essay answering a specific question and is more common for college applications. These questions guide your writing but are geared toward getting to know you. For example, you may be asked, “What matters most to you, and why?” or “How have your life experiences led you to your current interests or goals?” 

Think about a story, moment, or lifestyle change that has shaped who you are today or influenced your educational and career goals. These experiences often make great personal statement topics! 

Why Do Colleges Ask for a Personal Statement?

Colleges ask for personal statements to have the applicant present themselves to the admission committee, beyond their grades on paper. Essays humanize candidates, allowing them to express themselves and their passions. 

Your personal statement can give you a competitive edge against other candidates if it stands out. When brainstorming topics, consider the unique experiences you’ve had that have shaped who you are. 

What to Include in a Personal Statement for College

Before getting started, include all the necessary information you want admissions committees to know. Your personal statement could answer some or all of the following questions:

• What is something unique in your life that has shaped you into who you are today? (Consider your culture, heritage, hometown, health, family traditions, hobbies, etc.)
• What event first sparked your interest in your chosen field? 
• What have you learned about your interest area so far, and what more do you hope to learn during college? (It’s a good idea to do school research to best answer this question.)
• Have you experienced any unique challenges in your life? If so, how have you overcome them? 
• How do you specifically intend to contribute to your field in the future? (What are your goals, and how will you achieve them?)
• How does your unique experience set you up for a successful career as a student and a professional? (Think of things you’ve learned, your background, and challenges you’ve overcome.) 

You can answer these questions before you start writing your essay and try to find links to connect them. While all of your answers may not be relevant to the prompt you chose, they can help you get started! 

Note that a personal statement is different from a statement of purpose , in which you would focus more on your academic aspirations and goals. Statements of purpose are typically required for graduate school applications.

How to Write a Personal Statement for College

Here is a step-by-step breakdown of how to write a college personal statement.

Step 1: Brainstorm 

Before you start writing, it’s essential to brainstorm; this is a valuable personal statement tip. Consider the questions above. What makes you unique? What challenges have you overcome? Ensure you answer each question in the brainstorming process.

If you’re having trouble coming up with ideas, you can ask a family member or a friend who knows you well what they think makes you unique. This can help you gather some ideas to craft your story. 

Take plenty of time on this step and write down many ideas – even silly ones! You may be surprised by what comes to mind. By the time you move on to the next step, you should have at least five anecdotes to choose from and several pieces of information you want to include.

Make sure to keep the prompt in mind. Your prompt may cancel out some ideas if they don’t relate. 

Step 2: Select Your Strongest Ideas

Evaluate your brainstorming notes. Which story from your life compels you the most? Whichever idea gets you excited to write is likely the one you should choose. 

The story you write should have an apparent climax and a compelling takeaway. What did you learn from the experience? How has it shaped your life? This is what the reader should understand by the end of your essay. 

Step 3: Write Your Introduction

When you write, your introduction should immediately grab the reader's attention. There are many ways to do so – if you’re feeling lost, you can always refer to these five effective ways to start your college essay . 

In summary, avoid clichés and begin with a bang. Your introduction should only be one or two sentences before getting to the meat of the story.

Step 4: Tell Your Story

Your story should answer the prompt and show admissions committees what makes you a unique and qualified candidate. This is the main chunk of your essay. Ensure your writing is self-reflective, concise, and straightforward.

While your narrative should center on an experience you’ve had, the central theme should be bigger than that. Your takeaway should be a trait you’ve developed throughout the story or something you’ve learned that has made you a better person and candidate today. 

Step 5: End on a High Note

The end of your college essay is a crucial moment for the reader, so spending a lot of time here is important. This is the last thing the admissions officers will read, so it should be memorable. You want to ensure your narrative comes full circle and has a common thread. 

How you write your college personal statement’s conclusion is up to you; some students like to look toward the future, whereas others have different ideas about ending a personal statement ! 

Step 6: Revise, Revise, Revise

Once you’ve completed the writing portion, it’s crucial to revise like you’ve never revised before! There should be absolutely no spelling or grammar mistakes, famous quotes, run-on sentences, clichés, or other errors. 

When giving your essay to someone else, ask if they agree with the following points:

• Your writing is clear, concise, and straightforward. 
• The essay is interesting from the very beginning, with a short yet compelling introduction.
• Your story is easy to follow. 
• Your story tells the reader something unique about you.
• The essay has an effective conclusion in which the main theme of the essay is clear (i.e., what you’ve learned, your goals, or character traits).

You should also ask your revision partner what they’ve learned about you and ask yourself if their takeaway aligns with your original intention. Sometimes the intended message doesn’t always come across as it does in our heads, so this is an essential final step. 

You can ask a friend, parent, or teacher to proofread your essay for you. You can also get expert insight from our team at Quad Education to help you create the highest-quality personal statement possible!

The Benefits of Reviewing Personal Statement Samples

When it comes to crafting a compelling personal statement, it can be challenging to know where to start. One effective strategy is to review personal statement samples from successful applicants. 

By understanding these examples, you can gain valuable insights and inspiration to help you create a standout personal statement of your own. Here are some key benefits of reviewing personal statement samples:

1. Understanding the Structure

Personal statement samples provide a clear picture of how to structure your own essay. You can observe how successful applicants introduce themselves, discuss their experiences and achievements, and tie everything together with a strong conclusion.

2. Identifying Key Themes and Patterns

As you review personal statement samples, you'll likely notice recurring themes and topics. Successful applicants often discuss their passions, challenges they've overcome, and their goals for the future. 

3. Gaining Inspiration

Reading personal statement samples can also provide a much-needed dose of inspiration. Seeing how others have successfully conveyed their stories and personalities can spark ideas for your own essay. You may discover new ways to frame your experiences or find inspiration for a creative opening or closing paragraph.

4. Avoiding Common Pitfalls

In addition to showing what to do, personal statement samples can also help you avoid common mistakes. By reading through a variety of examples, you can identify overused phrases, clichés, and other pitfalls to avoid in your own writing. This can help you craft a personal statement that stands out from the crowd and truly reflects your individual voice and experiences.

5. Seeing Successful Examples

Perhaps most importantly, reviewing personal statement samples allows you to see what successful essays look like. You can gain a sense of the writing style, tone, and level of detail that admissions committees are looking for to stand out as a strong applicant.

So, take the time to read through the following examples and use the insights you gain to create a compelling personal statement of your own.

College Personal Statement Examples 

Here are some examples of good personal statements and explanations of their success. These examples can provide inspiration to formulate your own writing. You can also find more examples of college admission essays in our database to give you even more inspiration. 

#1. Personal Statement Example

This is an example of a personal statement that worked from a student named Rozanne who was accepted to Johns Hopkins University:

“ The white yarn slipped off my aluminium crochet hook, adding a single crochet to rows and rows of existing stitches, that looked to be in the form of a blob. Staring at the image of the little unicorn amigurumi lit up on the screen of my laptop, and looking back at the UMO (unidentified messy object) number five, I was extremely perplexed.

…The remaining rounds were blurred into hours and minutes that should have resulted in a little white creature in the likeness of a unicorn, but sitting on my desk (much like the four days before today) was a pool of tangled white yarn…

Very much like learning how to crochet, my journey in forging my own path and finding a passion was confusing, messy and at times infuriating. Even in primary school, I had heard all the stories of individuals finding their own route in life. I had been told stories of those who found their passion at a young age and were exceptionally proficient at their craft, of those that abandoned their interests and pursued a lucrative career, even those who chose their dreams but regretted it afterwards. This weighed heavily on me, as I was determined to have a success story as many of my other family members had. The only problem was that I did not have a direction.

In the years following primary school, I stepped out of my comfort zone in a frenzy to find a passion…At my ballet school, I branched out to contemporary and jazz dance. I stuffed myself with an experience similar to an amigurumi engorged with batting. I found myself enjoying all of those activities but soon enough, I was swamped with extracurriculars. Just like the tangles of white yarn on my desk, I was pulled in all directions. I still felt lost…

It was not until high school that I realized that I could view this mission to find a passion from another perspective. While successfully completing a crochet project is an accomplishment itself, the motions of making slip knots, single or double crochets takes you on an adventure as well. The knots that I had encountered in my craft were evidence of my experiences and what shaped me as an individual…

Through trial and error, the current adventure that I am on resonates the most with me, taking me down the path of service and environmental activism. However, I have learnt that no one path is static, and I can be on more than one path at a time. While I may only be halfway to the proportionate unicorn amigurumi that some others may have already achieved, I still have so much to learn and so much that I want to learn, and so my journey to grow continues. ”

Why This Personal Statement Worked 

Rozanne’s narrative expertly showcases her hobby (which may not have been discussed elsewhere in her application) and connects it to her struggles to find direction and passion when everyone else seems to have everything figured out. 

Her strength in this essay is reflecting upon that idea: it also shows us her vulnerability. Beyond continually weaving in the analogy of a messy crochet project and her perceived lack of direction, this essay also shows she’s a curious individual willing to try new things. 

It also helps that she refers to the ideas in her introduction, conclusion, and the rest of her essay. Circling back to her crocheting hobby creates a nice narrative thread.

#2. Personal Statement Example

This is an NYU example that worked: 

Prompt: “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

“In her cramped kitchen, Titi Nana cracked the egg in the center of the pan, the cheeriness of the bright yellow yolk contrasting the harshness of the caldero. In a flourish, she jerked the bottle of alcohol in her hand, flames erupting from the griddle. She instructed me: "Wipe it all off," gesturing to dust off my shoulders and arms into the inferno. I laughed nervously as I removed the maldad [evil] from my body, one brush at a time. I left Titi's apartment that day confused about how our family's practice of Santería [witchcraft] fit in with my outward embrace of my heritage. I felt as if the parts of my Latina identity I claimed openly -- dancing salsa to Celia Cruz or enjoying lechón y arroz con habichuelas en Navidad -- were contradicted by my skepticism towards Titi's rituals. My experience with Santería wasn't new, as proven by my mother's kitchen altar lit dimly by prayer candles and adorned with evil eyes, statues of San Miguel, and offerings to Elegua; however, I'd never before witnessed such a tangible demonstration of my family's ritualistic beliefs. Although it surrounded me, I refused to believe in the effects of Santería... so I shunned it entirely. 

Moving to a predominantly white boarding school and away from the rituals my family had passed down, I avoided addressing the distance I had wedged between myself and my background. I pushed away all things Latina as my fear of failing to honor my Puerto Rican heritage intensified. This distance only grew as my classmates jokingly commented on my inability to speak Spanish and my white-passing complexion, further tearing away bits of my Latinidad with each snide remark. 

In an effort to build myself back up, I began to practice the small bits of Santería that I comprehended: lighting candles for good luck, placing a chalice of water by my bedside to absorb all maldad, and saying my prayers to San Miguel and my guardian angels each day. To my disbelief, the comments that attacked my Latinidad, or lack thereof, faded along with the aching feeling that I had failed to represent my heritage. As I embraced the rituals that I initially renounced, I finally realized the power in Titi's practices. In all of her cleansing and prayer rituals, she was protecting me and our family, opening the doors for us to achieve our goals and overcome the negativity that once held us back. In realizing the potential of Santería, I shifted my practices to actively protecting myself and others against adversity and employed Santería as a solution for the injustice I witnessed in my community. 

Santería once served as my scapegoat; I blamed the discomfort I felt towards black magic for the imposter syndrome festering inside me. Until I embraced Santería, it only served as a reminder that I wasn't Latina enough in the eyes of my peers. Now, I understand that while intangible, ethereal, even, the magic of Santería is real; it's the strength of my belief in myself, in my culture, and in my commitment to protect others.”

The writer has done an excellent job of telling a story related to their cultural background. We learn about the writer and their family in this heartwarming story, even learning things we might not have known about Santeria — but that’s not the central theme.

The main theme of this essay is the lesson of self-trust, cultural pride, and self-acceptance. While we are learning about this person's unique identity, the takeaway is that this person has a newfound respect for their identity and has learned to embrace themselves. 

#3. Personal Statement Example

This example details Stella’s journey as she takes the skies and what she learned: 

“ The first lesson I learned as a student pilot is that left and right don’t exist. Maybe driving on a highway or in a parking lot, left and right is precise enough to describe the location and movements of slow-moving bikers, pedestrians, and cars. But at 36,000 feet in the air in a steel tube hurdling almost 200 miles an hour? Left and right just don’t cut it.

During one of my first flights in a small Cessna-182, my flight instructor ordered me to scan the horizon for approaching aircrafts. To my right, I caught a glimpse of one: another Cessna with maroon stripes, the sun’s reflection glinting off its windows. Gesturing vaguely to my two o’clock, I informed my flying instructor, “There’s a plane to the right.”

“No, to your right. From his position, what direction does he see you?” From his angle, I was to his left. In that moment, I realized that perspective and precision of language is everything. The radio chirped: “Cessna One-Eight-Two Sandra, heading north to John Wayne Airport. Over.”

…Through flying, I began to consider all points of view, regardless of my personal perspective.

Perhaps it was my ability to scan the horizon to communicate a single story, uniting contrasting outlooks, that drew me to my love for journalism and the diverse melting pot that was my community.

To me, journalism modernizes the ancient power of storytelling, filled with imperfect characters and intricate conflicts to which I am the narrator. As editor-in-chief for my school newspaper, The Wildcat’s Tale, I aim to share the uncensored perspective of all students and encourage my editorial groups to talk — and listen — to those with whom they disagree. Starting each newspaper edition with a socratic, round-table discussion, I ask the other journalists to pursue stories that answer the questions: why did this happen and where will it lead?

Expanding beyond the perspectives of my classmates, I began writing articles for the Korea Daily, and later, the Los Angeles Times High School Insider. I schedule interviews with city council candidates, young and old voters, and mayors of my town, obtaining quotes and anecdotes to weave into my writing. My interviews with both Democratic and Republican voters have taught me to thoroughly report polarizing-opposite opinions through an unbiased lens. As a journalist, I realized I cannot presume the opinions of the reader, but instead simply provide them with the tools necessary to formulate their own conclusions.

I found that in my suburban community, people love to read about the small-town hospitality of their own friends and neighbors…My favorite stories to publish are the ones taped onto fridges, proudly framed on the mom-and-pop downtown diner, or pinned into the corkboard in my teacher’s classroom. I discovered the size of my story does not matter, but the impact I leave on the reader does.

In my time as both a student pilot and journalist, I grew to love these stories, the ones that showed me that living life with blinders, can not only be boring, but dangerous. Whether I was 36,000 feet in the air or on ground level, by flying and writing, I realized that the most interesting stories of life come straight from the people most different from me .” 

Why This Personal Statement Worked

Although Stella opens with an anecdote about flying a plane, that’s not really what this personal statement is about. She reflected adequately on points of view in the sky and connected it to how the ability to see an issue from all sides was instrumental to her success as a journalist. 

Stella shares some of her achievements in a way that doesn’t feel like a list, but her responsibilities give us a glimpse of her life. When she transitions to writing about the value in every story, big or small, we see her ability to connect with her community and deliver an impact, even without writing a years-long investigative story. 

#4. Personal Statement Example 

Please note that this and subsequent personal statements have been anonymized.

“‘ I have the audacity of equality.’ The roar of applause explodes from the television as I hunch over a rapidly cooling bag of popcorn, my world rocked by this single line. Enter Hasan Minhaj’s Netflix comedy special Homecoming King, an ode to all the brown kids born and raised in the U.S., caught between the country they have known their entire lives and the countries their immigrant parents are still deeply tied to. As I sat enamored by Minhaj’s performance, it was as if the fog that often obscured how to navigate that middle ground of living as a mixed kid in America was cleared. I am the daughter of a [COUNTRY] immigrant mother and a first-generation [COUNTRY] father raised in cookie-cutter American suburbia, and I have spent my entire life in a strained limbo of feeling not quite red, white, and blue enough to fit in with my almost entirely white peers, while also feeling far too disconnected from my parents’ countries to find solace in their cultures. After a lifetime of feeling unseen, not fitting into a boxed-off identity, Minhaj’s special felt like a beacon of understanding. 

The day after watching the special, I announced my newest aspiration in life: to become a professional comedian. But after a few stale jokes fell flat, it was clear comedy would not be my future. Yet that image of Minhaj traipsing across the stage as his words held the live crowd, and me miles away, ensnared in their grasp, was unshakeable. I wanted to chase that feeling of using words to speak to and for others, especially those whose stories are often abandoned and unheard. So while I didn’t join any comedy clubs, I did sign up for my first year of competitive debate. 

Soon after, I found that I too could use my words to influence and speak to others, even if my audience was limited to judges and my spotlight was the glare of fluorescent lights in high schools across the nation. Addicted to the thrill of getting to discuss pressing issues I had previously only seen in the news, I amassed unholy amounts of research on American water resource protection for the 2021 season. As I plowed through mountains of research, I unearthed the truth that how we distribute water is also how we exercise justice, particularly in my community. In [STATE], where agriculture consumes over 80% of my state’s water, every-day people, especially other people of color, struggle to deal with the disproportionate impacts of water scarcity. Though I sat stunned and disappointed by my state’s water conservation practices, the line ‘I have the audacity of equality’ echoed, reminding me that I don’t have to settle for historically inequitable systems of power decided decades before I was born. I have a right to fight for the change my community needs.

Thus, when the opportunity arose to speak to one of my city’s biggest newspapers and radio stations about water conservation, I took it. I was shepherded in front of a voice recorder and later into the radio station, palms sweating as the black microphone that would project my voice city-wide hovered imposingly before me. Yet, I remembered that this was my chance to use my voice to uncover the stories that had been silenced. As my words flowed, (yes, like water) I felt that same spark of advocacy ignited in me years prior. 

However, it’s one thing to elevate silenced stories and another to act upon a desire to change those narratives. If outdated political decisions are to blame for water inequities, I know new ones from young, passionate people like myself must upend them. Accordingly, soon after my interviews, I sought out an internship where I could pitch those same ideas of water conservation to residents throughout [COUNTY NAME]. My audience morphed from high school debate judges to voters, porches as a stage where I amplify the voices of the people through the power of elections and democracy. 

Upon revisiting Minhaj’s comedy special, a line I first missed stands out. Hands gesturing wildly, he asks, ‘Isn’t it our job to push the needle forward little by little?’ I have established the answer is decidedly yes. I no longer miss that line when I rewatch the special because over the course of my advocacy my habit of mind has changed along with my actions. No matter the audience, the stage, or the spotlight, I view each opportunity to speak to issues I care about as pushing that needle forward. Despite my brief dream of comedic glory never coming to fruition, I am no less fulfilled in how I choose to speak for what I believe in because I understand that I have that same potential to inspire change .”

This personal statement does an excellent job of keeping a narrative thread from the introduction to the conclusion. Through this statement, we learn about the author’s background, identity, values, passions, and skills without feeling like we’re reading from an itemized list. 

Their explanation about comedy not being for them is light-hearted and comical, but their speaking up for water inequities is powerful and shows their determination. 

#5. Personal Statement Example 

This personal statement explores a student’s experiences with wildfires: 

“ A cacophony of alert ringtones blared loudly from pockets, backpacks, and desks around the room. I grabbed my phone: “EMERGENCY ALERT: Wildfire evacuation for areas west of [STREET NAME].” I looked out the window of the [HIGH SCHOOL] classroom, where I and the other Link Crew members had planned to spend the week before school started organizing freshman orientation. An angry column of black smoke billowed from just beyond the football field. This fire was closer and more intense than most. We booked it to a nearby friend’s house. An hour later, I received yet another [STATE] Fire alert. My heart dropped – I wouldn’t be able to go home tonight. Instead, the Fire had spread, cutting me off from my dad, mom, and little brother. What’s more, the fire was rapidly approaching our location. After receiving a second evacuation notice, we loaded up the camper and drove through falling ash to the nearest evacuation center, where I spent hours refreshing the [STATE] fire page and anxiously watching the smoke-filled sky.

Since I moved in 2014 from the [CITY] suburbs to [TOWN], a town of [NUMBER] in the [MOUNTAIN] Foothills, I’ve witnessed climate change firsthand. Years of drought gradually turned much of my pine forest playground into sticks of tinder. Instead of running on once-shaded trails at cross-country practice, we now dash through blackened remains of burned-out trees. While my old friends in [CITY] mow their lawns, I clear scotch broom and dead manzanitas from our property to reduce wildfire hazards. 

I recognize climate change for what it is – an existential threat. Yearly reminders during the fire season underscore the immediacy of the threat that climate change poses. Some think of our climate as a problem for the future. But I know that climate change already shapes the lives of me, my community, and millions around the world. Initially, my response to climate change was just on a personal level. After studying the meat industry’s carbon footprint at Tech Trek, a STEM camp at [COLLEGE], I cut meat out of my diet entirely and have been a vegetarian for almost five years. Last year, in response to the fire, I used the skills I learned in my engineering classes to design and construct garden boxes for people who had lost their plants in the blaze.

But I know that my actions alone aren’t enough to engender lasting change. I turned to my community to compound my impact. Partnering with nature preserves and conservation groups around [TOWN], my girl scout troop and I organize environmental cleanups of tributaries and hiking trails. I designed and taught Leave No Trace curriculum and organized challenges for local youth to increase community engagement in local ecological issues. 

More recently, I’ve begun to think more deliberately about how to further my impact on a larger scale. I believe that my firsthand experience with climate change, when paired with my passion for designing technological solutions to environmental problems, allows me to think about innovative ways to tackle climate challenges. To address the lack of useful resources on native and invasive plants in the [MOUNTAIN] Foothills, I’ve created a database of plants with tips and educational materials for each plant in order to create a resource that scientists, gardeners, and enthusiasts alike can use. Using the skills I’ve developed over the course of the last three years in the engineering pathway, I am drawing inspiration from temperature-regulating termite mounds to design a biomimetic home that uses air movement to maintain comfortable interior temperatures. 

My family and home were safe through the fire, but others weren't as lucky. My lived experience with climate change and subsequent response on a personal, community, and larger-scale level equip and motivate me to continue the fight for a more sustainable future. Climate change started this battle, it's up to me to finish it. ” 

The introduction immediately catches our attention for its vivid imagery and charged emotion as the student navigates an emergency. They connect this anecdote to the broader theme of climate change and other experiences relating to their values. 

Although the student describes what they’ve already accomplished, they share what they’d like to do to address climate change on a larger scale in the future and wrap up their story by referencing the anecdote from their introduction. 

#6. Personal Statement Example 

This personal statement explores a candidate’s love of fashion: 

“ I nervously stand from behind my desk, ready for my turn. Eyes glare at me from all sides as the teacher beckons me to begin. I dread group introductions, the first days of school, or any icebreaker exercise because of this moment. I have never had a traditional fun fact to share, like ‘I play soccer’ or ‘I have a twin.’ I used to share something safe like, ‘I hate whipped cream.’ On this day, I decided to share my true passion. ‘I love fashion.’ Giggles float through the room. Whispers are exchanged through my classmates' smirks. I immediately began to second guess myself. Was my response too shallow? Too girly? No – fashion transcends the boundaries of gender and is the opposite of shallow. It is an intricate manifestation of a person's true, innermost feelings toward the outside world. It is a way to express oneself when words don't suffice. That does not seem shallow to me.

Each day, I gaze into my closet and try to answer the routine question of what to wear. A flowing white sundress or a worn, black leather jacket? A pleated blazer or a bright red band tee? I might choose a sundress when I feel carefree and lighthearted or a heavy jacket when the world seems overwhelming and I need protection. Though it may seem an insignificant question of comfort or trends, I am really deciding which version of myself I want to reveal that day through my clothing. I could wear a coastal, relaxed outfit, and tomorrow could feature urban business attire. By no means does this imply that I have an identity crisis. I am simply a human with a wide range of emotions that cannot be confined. It is because of my inner diversity that I am unique.

The fabric that wraps my body is not meant only for cover. It also allows others a window into my soul. Though the deep desires of my heart never waver, each day brings new emotions, obstacles, and circumstances that, at times, can be difficult to process. This daily change instigates a perpetual evolution that communicates I am not the same person I was yesterday.

It's human nature to try to categorize people and things. Certain styles and garments tend to connect with a particular aesthetic. For instance, a callous person must dress grunge, and a fun, free-spirited person must dress bohemian. But people are complex. We cannot be constrained by one specific personality type. The beauty of humanity is in its inherent diversity. People can be demographically grouped by their culture, surroundings, family, or upbringing. However, the people who make up those respective communities are capable of diverse and independent thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Fashion can express that.

Fashion is not just an opportunity to display the latest trend or designer clothes. Fashion is an intimate representation of the inner workings of one's being. Even those who claim not to care about their clothing subconsciously express their emotions through it. A girl going through a breakup would think she disregards fashion by putting on a pair of sweats and throwing her hair into a messy bun. In reality, she chose the sweats because she is vulnerable and wants to feel warm and safe, and her bun prevents her hair from drowning in her tears. Her attire tells us multitudes of details if we just pay attention. Acknowledging how she feels through her clothing choice can help her process difficult emotions. She deserves this outlet to express her current state of mind. Everyone deserves this chance. I believe in an industry that can provide the average person with clothing that helps them feel beautiful and confident, regardless of their stage of life or socioeconomic status. So maybe she and I deserve those few extra minutes to get ready in the morning so that we may define the current state of our ever-changing selves .” 

This personal statement shows the author’s love for fashion, particularly how they describe the various pieces in their closet. Their writing shows how they connect apparel choices to a person’s personality and feelings. 

This statement may be more metaphorical and poetic than others in this list, but it could be a compelling personal statement for an aspiring fashion or art student. 

#7. Personal Statement Example 

This personal statement showcases a high school student’s experience with physician shadowing: 

“ As I sat observing the patients scattered around the waiting room, my eyes stopped on a man flushed and gasping. He met my gaze; his own eyes were brimming with fear. His face began to take on a deep shade of red. The woman by his side jumped up and began shouting for help. A group of doctors and nurses came rushing into the waiting room. The man held my gaze and I returned his panicked stare. 

Over the four months I’d spent shadowing Dr. [NAME] at [HOSPITAL NAME], my days encompassed: accompanying him during his rounds, checking on patients, and taking vital signs for postoperative patients. I even shadowed him during a valve replacement procedure. I remember thinking that operating on a person’s most central organ, with calculated precision, was the pinnacle of what it meant to be a surgeon. However, as I sat paralyzed in the waiting room, unable to break eye contact with a terrified patient entering cardiac arrest— I knew I was experiencing a part of the medical field I’d never seen.

Dr. [NAME] and the nurses moved in a synchronous dance. The nurses placed the patient on his back and helped to hold him still. Dr. [NAME] centered his hand on the man’s chest and began performing CPR. I knew rationally things were moving in real time, but the doctor’s actions seemed to move in slow motion. Dr. [NAME] began cycling between mouth to mouth and chest compressions. I felt my own heartbeat pounding rapidly in my chest. 

A piercing ‘beep’ filled the room as the monitor detected a heartbeat. 

When the patient met my gaze, my first instinct was to leap from my chair and help him. However, my traitorous body had been paralyzed in terror; all I could do was hold his gaze. This concerned me. If I couldn't manage my anxiety for a patient during high stress situations, did I have what it took to be a surgeon?

‘How did you stay calm?’ I asked Dr. [NAME] as we sat in his office later that day. The regular sounds of the waiting room leaked under the door—as if nothing had happened. He paused for a moment, ‘I was nervous, of course, but years of experience has taught me to channel my nerves into treating the patient the best that I can.’

Although his words made sense, it still seemed impossible to not feel fear for a patient whose life is in danger. However, as I considered his words further, I realized Dr. [NAME] wasn’t telling me he didn’t feel emotionally invested in the patient’s safety. Rather, he was saying he had learned to channel his concern into focusing on providing the best patient care possible. 

During my time shadowing Dr. [NAME], prior to the day of the resuscitation, I learned the importance of surgical precision, clinical expertise, and confidence under pressure. However, as I sat in his office that day, my perspective of the medical field changed. I now understood that staying confident in the midst of chaos isn’t instinctive; it is learned. Moreover, a good surgeon recognizes that she can use her fear for her patient as motivation to save the patient. 

My inclination to help others and fascination with molecular biology is what attracted me to the medical field. From the waiting room ordeal, my preserving commitment to becoming a physician was only reaffirmed. It encouraged me that my natural empathy for others would fuel rather than hinder my ability to work efficiently during stressful situations. I look forward to using this thought process in my day-to-day leadership activities, and one day, as a surgeon. ” 

This personal statement offers a glimpse into the writer’s time shadowing a physician and shows their vulnerabilities and fears. This statement shows what they’ve learned from the experience and how they’ll use these skills and knowledge to realize their dream of becoming a surgeon. 

#8. Personal Statement Example 

This sample personal statement is about an applicant’s journey with dance and religion: 

“ I stepped barefoot onto the cool wooden floor and bent down to lay my sweaty palms on the ground. I quickly got into line with the other girls and waited for the music to begin playing. My hips swayed while my heartbeat matched the rhythm of the song. Through each segment, my movements changed, evolving from Jhumar and ending in Dhamal. Behind every motion, there was an intention to send a message to the audience. 

I immediately found my place with Bhangra–a traditional Punjabi folk dance. I picked up the routines effortlessly, dancing with precision. I soon advanced to the older girls’ group, working on intricate choreography that required more stamina. Bhangra became not just a passion, but a path to better explore my Punjabi heritage. With each passing year, I came to see reflections of my life in Bhangra, connecting its many forms to different pieces of my identity.

Jhumar is delicate. It grows in intensity over time, but remains fragile. Full of smooth hand movements and soft placements, it builds on knowledge and experience, mirroring my relationship with Sikhism. For a long time, I was skeptical of practicing my faith. It seemed unnecessary–a method of control rather than a choice. My grandmother coaxed me to attend prayers and forced me to sit for long periods in the Gurdwara, all of which felt like more of a chore. Over the last two years, I found myself returning to the Gurdwara willfully. I had not completely restored my faith in God, but went there as a place of healing, finding comfort in the practices I once dreaded. I sat alone in the silence to calm myself. Gradually, my broken relationship with Sikhism wove itself back together, like the gentle motions of Jhumar. 

In my teenage years, I began to perform Giddha with my mother, aunts, and cousins, clapping and laughing alongside figures who shaped me. The dance is usually performed by women, telling tales of village life through skip steps and illustrative motions. Each gesture conveys the emotion and content of the story told. Giddha captured the evolution of my self-identity, reminding me of my support system and my ancestral roots. Performing next to these strong women in my life allowed me to grow my confidence and granted me a fuller sense of myself.  

Dhamal is the grand finale–bright and energetic, full of jumps on fast-paced beats. It is a dance that is usually performed at the end and demands the most energy. At the beginning of this segment, I am forced to make a decision: push forward and smile through the exhaustion, or flail my limbs and give up. I center myself to keep my hands sharp and clean while stepping with purpose, making every step count. I know I will regret becoming sloppy with my motions when I rewatch the performance, so I do my best to perform elegantly. It is a test of my drive. 

What began as a lighthearted use of time became a fundamental part of me. Bhangra allowed me to restore my relationship with Sikhism and turn towards it as a source of healing from times I felt lost and overwhelmed. I formed meaningful connections to the women in my family, and through them, my ancestors, bonding over traditions and experiencing my culture in depth. I learned to handle pressure with grace, pushing through difficulty with determination, and further strengthening essential parts of my identity. As I dance, I step, clap, and move through the parts of myself that make me whole .” 

This personal statement begins with an anecdote to immerse the reader in an event and showcases how Bhangra helped her reconnect with her heritage, religion, and culture. This narrative shows the applicant’s drive and talent while illuminating her journey toward strengthening her identity. 

#9. Personal Statement Example

Let’s see how one applicant transformed their love of chess into a winning personal statement: 

“ The wooden board promised possibilities and endless opportunities. On the maple wood of the battlefield, rooks, bishops, and knights stood ready in the most strategic war, chess.

My father lovingly taught me the game of chess as a young child. I immediately gravitated toward the game due to its strategic nature and quickly learned that chess appeared simple: just capture the king. Regardless of this apparent simplicity, my analytical mind always thought ten moves ahead. I never entered the battle without a full-fledged plan and a future-focused mindset that always seemed to be an advantage. From that point, many victories made me naive to the need to adjust my well-laid plans to meet outside challenges. Then, a particular game upended my strategies and confidence. This game began no differently from the others as I slowly set up the pieces and developed a seemingly invincible plan. And as my plan was forming, my confidence rose.

I started the game by bringing the king's pawn forward two spaces. In the very next move, I crossed my queen three places. I applied maximum pressure immediately to stay on offense and put my opponent on defense. After a few silly moves later by my father, I saw the opening to put his king in check, so I took it. I was executing my plan perfectly. However, my father started moving his rook closer to my queen, and in a matter of seconds, he captured my strongest piece. Playing it off as no sacrifice, for the rest of the game, I remained unwilling to change my plan, only to lose the game eventually. I realized at that moment that I had not appreciated the importance of adapting to changing circumstances and challenges–to the idea that for every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction, as I later learned in physics. Since that game, I began to balance my strategic planning with the need to adjust to the moves of my opponent as one must balance one’s strategic goals with the reality of the present; otherwise, life will deliver missed opportunities.

Yet one of my greatest passions was discovered by thinking far ahead in the future. From a young age, I became fascinated with engineering, both the physics of how objects move and fly and the potential for real innovation that accompanies the design and execution processes of engineering. Due to my logical nature, I prefer to set plans in order to optimize an outcome. When one identifies and defines problems logically and precisely, a plan is necessary, so thinking in future terms becomes essential. However, as time has passed, my love for engineering has grown, especially my passion for discovering how physical objects move and interact and plans can develop in creative and previously unthinkable ways. This future-focused mindset has influenced both my academic studies and my work in STEM internships as well as a recent apprenticeship with [LARGE COMPANY]. These pursuits, in turn, have allowed me to expand my vision of what my undergraduate studies and future career paths may hold. Still, future strategizing and adapting to the present are skills that will guide my future endeavors. Thus, engineering, like the game of chess, not only involves having a strategy going into the game, sometimes the key to victory, but also adapting to changing conditions can mean the difference between success and failure. ” 

The author used their experiences with chess to describe the development of skills such as strategic planning and adaptation. They effortlessly connect their story about a chess game to their love of physics and engineering. 

The chess game serves as a backdrop for their passion for STEM and what they’ve done to further explore their interests and connects the game to engineering and their cultivated skill to adapt amid changing conditions (such as new information) – a skill top colleges look for in candidates. 

#10. Personal Statement Example 

This candidate’s experience with a disposable camera helped them find the perfect personal statement: 

“ When I was fourteen years old, my mother bought me a disposable film camera, a shiny green plastic gadget from Walmart. At first, I was bewildered by how this seemingly superfluous object could supplement my perfectly efficient iPhone camera. Dangling the gift between my fingers with confusion, I was torn between telling my mother I had no use for this fossil, and graciously giving in to her request to ‘just try it out.’ I took the high road, and settled on the latter. 

Initially photography was an aesthetic hobby, however, it quickly turned into immense devotion to the art. I began to carry around the little green camera everywhere I went. Unfortunately, disposable film cameras have meager lifespans, and I could only take 27 pictures before the film was exhausted. After years of taking pictures with careless abandon, my photography was transformed by the idea of a tiny plastic box forcing me to choose my shots more carefully. Formerly, I could whip out my camera whenever I wanted to and take a picture, capturing a frame that would eventually disappear in the mass conglomeration of my iPhone camera roll. Conversely, my film camera required me to decide the right moment to capture a snapshot of a memory frozen in time. 

Ultimately, the narrative I have captured through my film camera has also helped me find my authentic voice through writing. I love using language to express my character, demonstrating my willingness to explore my passions and capture my every emotion. When I first attempted to write a full length novel, I recognized it would be a massive time commitment, and there would be hundreds of revisions. However, upon completing my first manuscript, I did not feel worried, or overwhelmed by the editing process. I was excited to embark on this next journey of perfecting my work. I was immersed in finishing my novel when my mom convinced me to apply for a Writing Contest. I followed her advice, and the risk ended up paying off. A few months later, I opened up my laptop to see an email announcing I had received the [TOP PRIZE]. The thrill of my teachers and parents could not be compared to my own surprise. I was absolutely overjoyed that the judges were moved by my story. My devotion to the film camera is now reflected in my approach to everyday life and my profile as a student. 

Throughout my high school career, I have dedicated myself to a few activities and developed my skill set, instead of spreading myself thinly in several fruitless activities. Stepping out of my comfort zone, I decided to sign up for a boxing class in my [HIGH SCHOOL] year. I looked forward to every training session, and began to transfer that energy into becoming an even better academic student. I loved learning new techniques and memorizing nuanced tips, until I eventually took the combat training style and made it my own. Yet another activity that began as a hobby, eventually helped build my self-confidence and provided strategies on how to approach adversity; from interactions with peers, to the boxing ring. 

I have yet to fully appreciate the fleeting nature of every moment. Incorporating my film camera into my everyday life has allowed me to take control and fill my high school career with a rich and genuine photo album of experiences .” 

The writer’s careful approach to using the film camera shows their deliberateness and newfound approach to their passion for art and photography. They connect this story to their love of writing, citing their finished full-length novel, a truly impressive feat. 

They also show their ability to step outside their comfort zone and passion for artistic endeavors with their experiences in boxing. This personal statement showcases their commitment to their passions and how taking pictures with a disposable camera showed them how to take control of their journey. 

#11. Personal Statement Example 

Here’s another example detailing an applicant’s visit to the zoo: 

“ As the sunlight trickles through the willow trees and glitters on the surface of the water, I squint. Where is it? Even though I’m in the shade, sweat is pouring down my face; it’s easily 115 degrees out. I scour the swamp beneath me one last time, sigh, and give up. Every time I visit the [ZOO NAME], this singular [ANIMAL] (a type of crocodilian) evades me. Somewhere in the murky water underneath the pedestrian bridge, the elusive false gharial hides from view. It’s enough to make most people give up in disappointment, potentially anger. Not me. Each time I visit, I enjoy my experience to the fullest, regardless of what I see.

Since I was a toddler, I have been enamored with every zoo I visit. My mother doesn’t exaggerate when she claims I had to be dragged out of zoos against my will as a toddler. The animal kingdom is beautifully diverse, unique, and absolutely breathtaking; it enraptured me as a child and still does today. The fact that toucans throw their food in the air and catch it with their beaks, parachute frogs glide from tree to tree, or sea cucumbers eject their insides as a self-defense mechanism–these are all such incredible adaptations and behaviors that I sometimes am unable to comprehend the incredible scope of evolution. I am easily swept up in my admiration of all aspects of the natural world, completely losing myself in the experience.

The last time I visited the [ZOO NAME] with my extended family, I was astonished by the new Dome structure. A shimmering glass dome sparkling under the bright, hot sun, the building was reminiscent of a giant greenhouse. Although the eponymous pangolins had not yet been moved to their new home where I could see them, reading about their story was eye-opening. These cute armored mammals are considered the most trafficked animals in the world. As I traversed the rest of the building, I discovered that different levels are devoted to depicting various aspects of the Rainforest, the most ecologically productive biome in the world. Starting from the bottom of the dome, viewers walk through the tropical, fish-filled waters, then climb through the forest’s various levels, getting to see the complex intersection of energy flows, water use, and nutrient cycles. I was humbled by the experience. I left that day with a clear understanding of why I love zoos so much: zoos are a chance for humans to learn how to better coexist with the environment.

We live in a world where human development and conservation are almost mutually exclusive. A forest, field, or beach has to be destroyed, drilled into, or paved in order for ‘civilization’ to exist. Zoos prove that this does not have to be the case; they are a source of inspiration for how we can better live in harmony with nature. Every exhibit is a microcosm of a distinct aspect of the environment and can teach us how facets of nature interact. The aforementioned Dome, for example, uses natural light to simulate a real biome while conserving energy. Other conservationist elements–resource recycling and reuse, water conservation, etc.–are evident throughout the zoo.

In what feels like an instant after stepping out of the tomistoma enclosure, I realize that the sun has already begun to set and the cicadas have already begun to buzz. As I am dragged back into the car by my uncle, I reflect on how I can apply the zoo’s sustainable techniques to the general public. How can we adapt nature’s solutions to certain problems and conform them to meet our needs? For example, can we reduce a city’s temperature and carbon levels? Planting green roofs can reduce both. Whenever I want to solve such environmental issues, I think of the [ZOO NAME]. Nature has solutions to all of our problems; we just have to embrace them. ” 

This personal statement shares the author’s interest in biology and animal sciences through anecdotes showing their love and appreciation of zoos. The animal facts and musings about the new building show their passion for knowledge and happiness at the opportunity for humans to coexist with nature. 

The conclusion raises the writer’s questions but shows their critical thinkins skills and how they can connect the zoo’s “sustainable techniques” to new solutions in cities. It also effectively wraps up the narrative.

#12. Personal Statement Example 

This personal statement describes a candidate’s experience navigating the jungle and how it ignited a new passion: 

“ Immersed in the core of the [NAME] jungle, I was set to embark on my first plant medicine journey. At age 14, I was depressed and anxiety scheduled my days. For a week, I lived with the [NUMBER] year-old [NAME] tribe: waking before the sun, drinking cleansing tea with the Chief and his counsel, and cutting through the wilds with a machete to hunt for dinner. Known for centuries to be cautious of welcoming Westerners, the village members embraced me. I had the chance to hear the tribe passionately share their knowledge about native plants and ways to live harmoniously with the land. Songs of exotic birds and warm, crisp air breathed love into my lungs, and I felt my nervous system recalibrating. I partook in the ceremony with [TEA NAME], a plant based entheogenic tea that activates the pineal gland, and I felt my connection growing stronger with divine nature. It felt like I was washing my brain in ice water and I was inspired by the tribe’s devotion to Her. At night, I feverishly scribbled down my day in my Moleskin journal. By the time the week was through, every page was filled with thoughts, questions and feelings. 

When I returned back home, I wanted to learn more about these plants and why or how they became so scorned and abused in contemporary society. Taking research into my own hands, I proactively began to dig into the history of these plants. I was hooked after reading Terrance and Dennis McKenna's Stoned Ape Theory and listening to the podcast, ‘Avoid Gurus, Follow Plants.’ This year, I became the youngest to complete The Course [NAME] led by Dr. [NAME].  I learned about limbic healing, the psychoneuroendocrine immunology network, and the power of these sagacious teacher-plants. Dr. [NAME] discussed the harms of disrespecting plant medicines and how if we work for them, they may choose to work with us.

The course included conversations with Ph.D. student, [NAME], regarding her dissertation about the benefits of ketamine in psychotherapy. The thesis concluded that compounds in medicinal plants had healing properties to neurodegenerative diseases and those with terminal illnesses and trauma, all of which are imperative to our current and future concept of health. My enthusiasm for plant medicine spread into all aspects of my life; it was time for another journal and another journey. Thus, I began my podcast: [NAME]. Honoring the wisdom of the indigenous, the podcast bridged gaps between societies and generations, creating a safe space for curiosity to thrive and penetrating the walls of ignorance.  Recently, I watched my mom transform from a senior executive at a major telecommunication company to a [NEW ROLE] and CEO of her own firm. As my first podcast guest, she shared her mission to guide one million souls into personal sovereignty. Since then, I have been blessed to speak with Dr. [NAME], the Chief of a [TRIBE], who discussed the preview of her new book and shared how surrendering invites harmony to a person’s life. It was then that I realized that The [PODCAST NAME] was more than a podcast; it was a quiet voice with something loud to say. Today, its purpose is to focus on integrating spirituality into everyday life, and how to work respectively with these venerated and still controversial plant medicines. It is paradise for thinkers, visionaries, and pioneers. The words exchanged in the podcast are the planks in a bridge that connect some of the world’s most remarkable leaders to a generation that may benefit from their wisdom. The journey that began in [COUNTRY] struck the match to the wildfire of my passion, curiosity and devotion to plant medicine .” 

This personal statement illuminates the author’s experiences living with a different culture in a new environment, showing their ability to exit their comfort zone. The story shows the author’s cultural understanding, describes where their passion for plant medicine bloomed, and how it inspired them to start their own podcast. 

#13. Personal Statement Example 

This personal statement explores the writer’s love of painting: 

“ I am a painter. The connection I feel to the art I create and love is — like the art itself — so much more than the words I can use to describe it. I become utterly absorbed in the process of creating, viewing, and studying art; it taps into my vulnerabilities and connects me to previously unknown parts of myself. Everything I paint, regardless of the apparent subject, reflects something about me. My recent painting ‘[NAME],’ for example, depicts a close friend curled up beneath a quilt festooned with red poppies. I have realized that it is a portrait of both of us that reveals our shared yearning for safety, warmth, and beauty. Likewise, my favorite pieces by other artists lay bare my own internal tensions and artistic aspirations. I believe that paintings unlock access to both the artist and the viewer. This has become apparent in an independent art history project I completed this summer about the early 20th-century painter Amrita Sher-Gil. I remember first seeing one of her works and feeling deeply drawn to her use of color. Compelled to learn more, I sought the mentorship of a local art history professor and embarked on an exploration of Sher-Gil’s work that has resulted in a tremendous affinity for her story – and a better understanding of my own.

In volumes of Sher-Gil’s letters, photographs, and paintings, I found an uncanny resemblance to myself. She was Indian and European, moved frequently, played the piano, and saturated her paintings with bold, warm colors. Sher-Gil drew inspiration from Rajput painting and stained her female subjects with a burning red that could have spilled out of the tube of cadmium red I squeeze each time I create an underpainting. In my work, the same Rajput-like red shines through the crevices of my overpainting and brings my subject matter to life.

As I became enthralled by Sher-Gil’s red, I learned about the color’s history and, in the end, I made an original discovery. Rajput artists surrounded their paintings with a luxurious red border and often used the color to adorn and highlight two lovers; this red became a mark of heterosexual longing. As I read Sher-Gil’s letters and looked at her paintings, I noticed that she used the Rajput-like red to allude to her own bisexuality; my paper pointed out that she reworked the color’s meaning to represent intimacy between and among women.

My research on Sher-Gil is a clear reflection of my own artistic process — sometimes confusing, far from neat, and often driving to an unclear conclusion. Nevertheless, it reinforced my relationship with art. Sher-Gil used paint to capture the complexity of her identity and illustrated her struggles, dilemmas, and moments of pleasure; in doing so, she has given me confidence in my own painting process and self-exploration. When I paint, I live in a space of meaningful and productive uncertainty. Just as the unexpected purple highlights on the arm of the figure beneath the poppies in my painting resulted from accidental layers of red, blue, and green, the meaning of my work may not be evident until the painting is complete.

In the same way, I am a work in progress. In art, I explore strength and vulnerability, femininity and masculinity, uncertainty and knowledge; I throw myself into my creative and intellectual interests as the practitioner and academic, the painter and viewer. When I paint, I value the companionship of my tubes of pigment, the subjects of my images, and painters like Sher-Gil, who has become a role model. I am eager to pursue studio art and art history and to introduce others to the possibilities of self-exploration through art. To know me, you should know my paintings: the ones I create, the ones I love, and the ones I will study, teach, and share with others. Painting reveals the fullest version of who I am .” 

This student’s love of painting and Sher-Gil’s work spurred them to seek mentorship and how, like their artistic process, they’re a “work in progress.” The author’s experiences and passion for art intersect with their explorations of himself and their strengths. 

#14. Personal Statement Example 

This personal story begins with what appears to be a humorous anecdote that transforms into a well-written personal statement: 

“ During my first week of kindergarten, I pulled the fire alarm.

We had just come in from recess and kindergartners were lined up single file against the wall. It was our ritual before returning to class. I felt antsy, fidgety, and bored; my body was not ready for the impending ‘circle time.’

A quick turn of my head and there it was – a red, shiny, attractive box. The allure was all-consuming. ‘Pull the lever,’ an internal voice told me. Before I knew it, my thoughts had become actions, and I instantly became a legend. Blue ink on my palms from the dye pack gave me away when the blaring alarm and chaos settled. Despite initial frustration, even the principal appreciated my clever argument: ‘Why can a small kid reach the fire alarm – is it even really my fault?’

For years, I struggled with that question as I learned that my brain craves action and I need to learn to ‘pause’ while most others don't. I also discovered that I have a passion for understanding how and why the brain works, and a resulting interest in neuroscience.  

Recognizing that people learn and experience things differently and that it's not their ‘fault’ spurred my desire to help others from a young age. I cajoled my parents to take me to a library – an hour away, each way – that was willing to accept a 12-year-old tutor. Soon after, I developed [WEBSITE NAME], a service that provides a combination of learning and social support. I learned that each child has individual needs, different ‘hows’ and ‘whys’ for learning and experiencing the world – and I was fascinated by it all. 

My high school serendipitously had a program perfectly designed for me - [PROGRAM NAME]. I didn’t realize until I started working as a fellow with the [PROGRAM NAME] – a center for mind, body, and education science – that my “field” experience as a tutor coupled with my fascination with learning differences made the intersection of neuroscience and education an ideal focus. My innate desire to understand the brain's inner workings guided me to help others learn and feel comfortable with their own brain wiring. Whether leading a study on the biggest stress factors for high school students or exploring what types of music best influence learning, I am inspired to gain a deeper understanding of brain function and its educational implications.

My parents often tell the fire alarm story – it is pretty funny, after all – but it also represents something more serious for me: the realization that impulsivity is part of my brain circuitry. It's arguably a blessing. As a five-year-old, I needed to pull that alarm. As a more mature student, I need to pursue my desire to understand the brain, recognize I have no ‘fault’ to fix, and use scientific research and insights to help myself and others. To this day, I still believe the fire alarm should be higher than a kindergartner's reach.” 

Although this personal statement begins with a humorous anecdote, the tone remains serious enough to convey the author’s lived experiences and accomplishments influenced by their brain’s impulsivity. This exploration of themself led to their interest in neuroscience and how they’re inspired to learn more about brain function. 

The conclusion brings the narrative full circle in a light-hearted way while the author shares their conviction to use scientific research in the future to better understand themselves and others. 

#15. Personal Statement Example 

This personal statement describes the a figure skater’s reflection of their path: 

“ The frigid air bit my cheeks as music breathed life into the otherwise dead-silent arena. I felt the intimidating stares of a million eyes as I started gliding across the gleaming ice in sync with the music, yearning to flaunt the moves I’d assiduously perfected during my early-morning practices. Flawlessly landing the last double lutz in my program, I was homebound. As the music reached its final decrescendo, I slowly exited my last spin and struck my final pose facing the motionless audience. The silence returned momentarily but quickly turned into thunderous applause and cheers as I took my bow after another ‘gold medal’ performance.

Exiting the ice, I noticed a haze of silhouetted smiles. Most were unrecognizable, but a few jumped out at me before I was even off the ice: those of my coach, my parents, and my exuberant little sister. However, after performing this same program multifarious times this season, each warm post-program greeting by friendly or familiar faces felt like déjà vu. 

Competition after competition caused me to gradually lose sight of my goal. An Olympic gold medal is known to be the pinnacle of a figure skating career, but the elusivity and cutthroat nature of the journey slowly became more of a deterrent to finding my way to the top of that podium. Instead, I was prompted to look beyond the bounds of this track as I sought to uncover a solution to the monotonous cycle that held me confined to the quotidian repetition of competition between training sessions and performances.  

Serendipitously, I soon stumbled upon a volunteer coaching opportunity at my local rink. Through the [NAME] Skating Program, I was given the opportunity to work with individuals with a range of physical and developmental disabilities on the ice. Initially hesitant to fill this position because it’d be my first coaching opportunity, I was soon elated by each skater’s positive demeanor and excitement to reach their fullest potential. To them, skating wasn’t about a collection of gold medals, but instead about the freedom granted to them on the ice and the resultant sense of coach-and-skater camaraderie so freely formed.  

After the program met each week, I continuously found myself exceptionally eager to return to the ice to improve my own skating skills. However, I began approaching practice sessions with a renewed sense of purpose, as I was no longer concerned with the minuscule details that’d cost me valuable points in competition. Shifting my focus from technicalities to the bigger picture, I could now enjoy my time spent on the ice while also enhancing my skills as a mentor. Precipitating fulfillment out of practice sessions, I discovered that the pride I held in my mentoring abilities was more valuable than any medal.

Reflecting on my decade of skating, I’ve come to find that the most rewarding times, just like the most rewarding and delicious recipes, tend to rely on a balance between leadership and zealousness, between seasoning and zest. The leadership seasoning has come from my coaching experiences, which have impelled me to thrust myself into even more leadership roles both inside and outside the rink. On the other side of the rink, my zest at my best is hard for the rest to test, so this equilibrium between leadership and enthusiasm is critical for me to maintain so that I can always be my best self not just for my own self, but also and mostly for others. Whether it be teaching a skating class, educating underclassmen on basic business fundamentals for DECA, or discussing how to write efficacious and mellifluous news articles for my school paper, I’ve constantly been able to find avidity in every activity I pursue through an equilibrium of mentorship and individual effort, even if it doesn’t earn me an Olympic gold medal in the end, because when it comes to being golden-hearted, I’ve already been Olympic-caliber all my life.” 

While the beginning of this personal statement showcases the author’s figure skating talent, the “reflection” piece shows how they handled feeling deterred from their goal toward meaning an Olympic gold medal. 

Their mentoring experience shows their community spirit, leadership potential, and adaptability – they connect these experiences to helping them enjoy their time on the ice again. This story conveys how they found balance and can apply it to other situations. 

These examples of college personal statements are just that: examples. While your statement doesn’t need to look exactly like these, reading examples is a great way to gain inspiration. 

Common Personal Statement Mistakes

Many students find it easy to fall into certain traps when writing their personal statements. Make sure to avoid these mistakes in your writing!

• Relying on cliches : It is imperative that you avoid cliche saying, topics, or ideas in your statement. Admissions officers read tons of statements daily, so you want to make yours stand out. Using cliches will give the impression that you aren’t putting honest effort in and only writing what you think they want to hear. 
• Choosing an inappropriate topic : Stay away from topics involving illegal activities, highly personal or tragic situations, or controversial ideas. You don’t want to make your reader uncomfortable in any way. 
• Using quotes : Your personal statement should come from you. Using a famous quote in your statement is not only cliche but also takes up valuable space that you could use for your own words and story. 
• Not proofreading : If you want to look professional and polished, you need to avoid grammar or spelling mistakes at all costs. Proofread your work and then proofread it again. Try reading it aloud to catch small errors. 
• Repeating your application : You don’t need to talk about your GPA or test scores in your personal statement. The admissions committee has already seen them. Your statement is a place for you to show them who you are in a personal sense. 

If you’re struggling even after this comprehensive guide, get help with your personal statement today. Our personalized tutors will work one-on-one with you to craft the perfect personal statement.

Here are our answers to some of the most frequently asked questions about how to write a college personal statement.

1. What Should a College Personal Statement Include?

Your college personal statement should include a brief snippet about a transformative event in your life that led you to your application. You can include important lessons you’ve learned, qualities you’ve developed over time, and your goals.

2. How Do You Start a Personal Statement?

To start a personal statement , begin with a concise introduction. Don’t spend too much time on the beginning; starting with one or two sentences to set up your story and grab the reader’s attention is best. 

3. How Do I Make My Personal Statement Stand Out?

To stand out , your personal statement should highlight something special. Think about your life experiences that meant a lot to you growing up and have shaped you into who you are today and who you want to be. Avoid clichés like famous quotes or general statements. 

4. How Should I Format a Personal Statement?

College application platforms typically provide a personal statement format, such as a word count or page limit . Generally speaking, you’ll want to select a basic, legible font, such as 12 pt. Times New Roman. 

5. How Long Should a Personal Statement Be? 

A good personal statement is between 500 and 650 words. Double-check the specific requirements for your school to confirm how long your statement should be. 

6. What Should You Not Do in a Personal Statement? 

When writing a personal statement, avoid using famous quotes, grammatical errors, or choosing an inappropriate topic. 

Final Thoughts

Your personal statement should be authentic, compelling, and give the reader an excellent idea of what makes you, you . The best personal statements include a punchy introduction, a compelling and unique anecdote, and conclude with a few lines nicely wrapping up the narrative. 

Don’t be afraid to get personal — it’s a personal statement, after all! Just ensure you end on a high note. Remember, your conclusion is the last thing admissions officers will read, so it should be memorable and impactful. What do you want the audience to take away? 

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15 Effective Strategies for Writing a Compelling Personal Statement

By Eric Eng

Writing a personal statement is an essential step in the college application process. By employing effective strategies, you can showcase your strengths, aspirations, and what makes you stand out. A compelling personal statement serves as your unique voice in a sea of candidates.

How? Consider the following tips:

1. Start with a captivating hook.

The opening lines of your personal statement are your first opportunity to make a lasting impression on the admissions committee. Think of it as the equivalent of a firm handshake or a confident introduction at an interview. A well-crafted hook can distinguish your application from hundreds of others.

For example, beginning with a vivid account of the moment you found your passion for environmental science during a volunteer project not only grabs attention but also sets a thematic tone for your statement.

To achieve this, start with a powerful or intriguing statement, a question, or a brief anecdote related to your field of interest. This should be something personally significant or a defining moment that sparked your interest in the subject you wish to pursue. Be creative but authentic. Your goal is to engage the reader from the very first sentence.

2. Showcase your authentic voice.

Your authentic voice is what makes your personal statement genuinely yours. Admissions officers are keen on identifying applicants who present a genuine reflection of themselves. Infusing your essay with your sense of humor, for instance, can make your statement memorable.

To showcase your authentic voice, write in a way that feels natural to you while maintaining a professional tone. Avoid overly formal language if it doesn’t reflect how you normally express yourself. Instead, use a style that feels comfortable and is reflective of your personality. This authenticity makes your essay more relatable and engaging to the reader.

3. Tell a compelling story.

Writing a compelling story within your personal statement is an effective strategy for illustrating your character, values, and aspirations. Consider narrating your journey of organizing community clean-up events; this can highlight your leadership skills and commitment to environmental advocacy. This storytelling approach makes your application stand out by showcasing your active engagement in your passions.

To tell your story, focus on a specific event, experience, or insight that has significantly shaped your personal or academic life. Structure your narrative to build towards a revelation or learning experience that highlights personal growth or a deepening of your intellectual interests.

The most impactful stories are those that allow your personal qualities and convictions to shine through.

4. Highlight your unique experiences.

The experiences that set you apart from other applicants are invaluable in painting a picture of who you are beyond grades and test scores. For instance, sharing your experience working in a family business during high school, illustrating how it fostered your interest in entrepreneurship and developed your work ethic, effectively highlights your uniqueness.

To highlight your unique experiences, focus on what you’ve learned from them and how they’ve shaped your perspective or skills. It’s not just about what you did, but also about how these experiences contribute to your personal narrative. Importantly, be specific about your role, your contributions, and the impact these experiences had on your personal and academic growth.

5. Focus on your passions and interests.

Colleges are looking for passionate individuals who will bring enthusiasm and energy to their campus. An applicant’s personal statement that vividly describes their passion for a particular subject area, such as a detailed account of their ongoing project in robotics, can significantly bolster their application by showing depth of interest and proactive engagement in their field.

To effectively focus on your passions and interests, delve into the specifics of what excites you about your chosen field or hobby. Discuss any projects, research, or reading you’ve undertaken on your own initiative. Illustrating your dedication and enthusiasm helps admissions officers envision you as a committed and vibrant part of their college community.

6. Address the specific prompt or question.

Adhering closely to the prompt or question provided by the college is another strategy for writing an effective and compelling personal statement. Meticulously addressing the prompt by relating each part of your essay back to how your experiences have prepared you for the challenges and opportunities of the college program demonstrates thoughtfulness and a clear direction in your application.

To address the specific prompt or question, first ensure you understand what is being asked. Then, organize your response to directly address each component of the prompt. Use your experiences and reflections to provide concrete examples that answer the question thoroughly.

7. Show self-awareness and reflection.

Self-awareness and the ability to reflect on your experiences are qualities that colleges value highly, as they indicate maturity and a capacity for growth. For example, discussing a failure or challenge you faced, such as struggling with a particular subject, and then outlining the steps you took to overcome this, demonstrates resilience and self-improvement.

To exhibit self-awareness and reflection in your personal statement, focus on how specific experiences have contributed to your personal or academic development. Discuss what you learned about yourself through these experiences and how they have shaped your future aspirations. Be honest and introspective, recognizing both strengths and areas for growth.

8. Demonstrate your skills and achievements.

Highlighting your skills and achievements gives the admissions committee a sense of your accomplishments and potential contributions to their campus. An effective approach is to integrate your achievements into your narrative, like detailing how leading a volunteer project honed your leadership and organizational skills, rather than simply listing accolades.

To demonstrate your skills and achievements, select examples that are most relevant to your college goals and the program you’re applying to. Describe the context and your involvement in detail, focusing on the impact of your actions and what they reveal about your character, work ethic, and capabilities.

In short, avoid boasting. Present your achievements as reflections of your commitment and drive.

9. Use concrete examples and anecdotes.

Citing concrete examples and anecdotes is an effective strategy for writing a vivid and compelling personal statement. It allows admissions officers to see the real person behind the application. For instance, rather than stating you have a strong work ethic, describe the time you balanced a part-time job with your studies to support a family project, illustrating your determination and responsibility.

Incorporate specific examples and anecdotes that highlight your qualities, skills, and experiences. Choose stories that are meaningful and demonstrate your values, such as teamwork, perseverance, or creativity. These real-life examples provide a solid foundation for your claims, making your personal statement more compelling and persuasive.

10. Connect your experiences to your future goals.

Linking your past experiences to your future ambitions demonstrates forward-thinking and a clear vision for your college journey and beyond. An applicant who articulates how their volunteer work with a local environmental group inspired them to pursue a degree in environmental science, with the goal of developing sustainable solutions, effectively bridges their past actions with their future aspirations.

To connect your experiences to your future goals, first identify the key experiences that have shaped your interests and aspirations. Then, articulate how these experiences have prepared you for the challenges you anticipate in college and your career. Explain how the program you are applying to fits into your long-term plans, showing that you have a direction and are committed to achieving your goals.

11. Maintain a clear and concise structure.

A well-organized personal statement makes your narrative accessible and engaging, guiding the reader through your experiences, reflections, and aspirations with ease. For instance, structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a specific theme or experience, and a cohesive conclusion, ensures that your narrative flows logically and coherently.

To maintain a clear and concise structure, plan your personal statement before writing. Outline the main points you want to cover and decide on the best order to present them. Each paragraph should serve a clear purpose and lead smoothly to the next. Avoid tangents and overly complex sentences that could distract or confuse the reader, focusing instead on delivering your message with clarity and precision.

12. Edit and revise meticulously.

Editing and revising are critical strategies in the writing process, for they ensure your personal statement is polished and error-free. A personal statement with typos, grammatical errors, or awkward phrasing can detract from the overall impression it makes. Meticulous editing can make your personal statement more effective and compelling.

To edit and revise, start by reviewing your statement for any spelling or grammatical errors. Then, read it aloud to catch awkward phrasings or inconsistencies in flow. Seek feedback from teachers, mentors, or peers, as fresh eyes can catch errors you might have missed and provide valuable perspectives on the clarity and impact of your narrative.

Ultimately, be open to constructive criticism and willing to make changes to strengthen your statement. This iterative process is crucial for refining your message and ensuring it accurately reflects your voice and aspirations.

13. Seek feedback from others.

Getting feedback from others is invaluable for refining your personal statement. It offers perspectives on how your narrative is received, highlights areas for improvement, and confirms the clarity of your message.

To effectively seek feedback, choose individuals who know you well and others who may not be as familiar with your story, such as teachers or mentors, to provide a balanced view. Ask specific questions about how your personal statement comes across: Does it convey my passion? Is my narrative clear and engaging?

Use this feedback to make targeted improvements, ensuring your statement accurately and effectively communicates your strengths and aspirations.

14. Show enthusiasm and passion.

Expressing enthusiasm and passion in your personal statement can significantly enhance its impact. Admissions committees are drawn to candidates who demonstrate genuine excitement for their field of study and future career paths. For instance, a detailed description of your science fair project and its influence on your decision to pursue biomedical engineering can vividly showcase your passion for the subject.

To convey enthusiasm and passion, use vivid and energetic language when describing your interests and experiences. Reflect on why these areas excite you and how they align with your personal and academic goals. Your enthusiasm will naturally shine through when you discuss something you truly love and are committed to pursuing further in your college career.

15. Tailor your personal statement to the institution or program.

Customizing your personal statement to reflect your fit with the specific institution or program you’re applying to shows that you’ve done your research and are genuinely interested in what they offer. This is one of the most effective strategies for writing a compelling personal statement.

For example, mentioning specific faculty members you wish to work with or unique aspects of the program that align with your career goals demonstrates a proactive and thoughtful approach to your application.

To tailor your statement, research the college or program thoroughly. Identify specific courses, faculty, research opportunities , or community aspects that align with your interests and goals. Then, weave these details into your statement to illustrate how you see yourself contributing to and benefiting from the program.

Why is the personal statement important in college admissions?

The personal statement is a critical component of your college application, offering a unique opportunity to present your voice and personality to the admissions committee. Unlike standardized test scores and GPAs, which provide a quantitative measure of academic achievement, the personal statement allows you to share your personal journey, challenges, successes, and aspirations.

In essence, it serves as a narrative that ties together the various elements of your application into a cohesive story. It helps admissions officers understand who you are beyond the numbers, showcasing your writing skills, self-awareness, and potential to contribute to the college community.

What are the common mistakes to avoid in my personal statement?

One of the most common pitfalls in writing a personal statement is failing to make it personal enough. Many applicants fall into the trap of reiterating their resume or writing what they think admissions officers want to hear, resulting in a statement that lacks authenticity and personal insight.

Another frequent mistake is overlooking the importance of storytelling and structure, leading to a personal statement that feels disjointed or aimless. Successful personal statements are those that not only provide a glimpse into the applicant’s life but also engage the reader through a well-organized narrative that clearly communicates the applicant’s aspirations and how the college fits into their future plans.

How can my cultural and personal identity enhance my personal statement?

Incorporating your cultural and personal identity into your personal statement is an effective writing strategy that can significantly enrich your narrative, making it compelling. This approach allows you to showcase how your unique background has shaped your perspectives, values, and goals. It provides a deeper understanding of your character and the diverse experiences you bring to the college community.

To effectively highlight your cultural and personal identity, focus on specific experiences, traditions, or challenges that have played a pivotal role in your development. Discuss how these elements have influenced your academic interests, career aspirations, or personal growth. This not only adds depth to your application but also demonstrates your ability to contribute to the campus’s cultural diversity and intellectual life.

How do I balance professionalism with personality in my personal statement?

Finding the right balance between professionalism and personality is key to crafting a compelling personal statement. While it’s important to maintain a professional tone to demonstrate your readiness for college-level work, infusing your statement with your unique voice and personality makes it genuinely engaging. This balance shows admissions committees that you are a well-rounded candidate who can communicate effectively while staying true to yourself.

To achieve this balance, write in a tone that is reflective of your natural speaking style, but be mindful of grammar, syntax, and appropriateness. Use anecdotes and examples that highlight your personality traits, such as humor, empathy, or curiosity, without overshadowing the overall professionalism of your statement. This approach ensures that your personal statement is both polished and personal, offering a true reflection of who you are.

How does feedback help me revise my personal statement?

Using feedback effectively is crucial in refining your personal statement. It offers insights into how your personal story is perceived by others and highlights areas that may need clarification, expansion, or reduction. Seek feedback from a variety of sources, including teachers, mentors, family members, and peers, to gain diverse perspectives on your writing.

When revising your personal statement based on feedback, prioritize comments that align with your goal of presenting a clear, cohesive, and compelling narrative. Consider each piece of feedback carefully, but also stay true to your voice and the core message you want to convey. This process of revision and refinement is essential for crafting a statement that truly resonates with admissions committees.

Crafting a compelling personal statement requires effective strategies such as introspection, creativity, and a willingness to share your unique story. Write a personal statement that not only showcases your achievements and aspirations but also leaves a lasting impression on college admissions officers. Remember, your personal statement is your opportunity to shine. Make it count.

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College Personal Statement Examples and Writing Tips

So, you have started your college application process and are hitting a wall. You got your high school transcripts and letters of recommendation in order. Your SAT scores are on the way. But your college personal statement is sitting there unfinished, and the deadline is coming fast!

But have no fear!

Because Wordvice edits thousands of essays every admissions season, we have seen some of the best (and worst) college application essays out there. This guide will tell you how to write the best personal statement for college possible for your college application. Included are examples of successful college personal statements and analyses.

What we will learn here about writing a personal statement for college:

• What is a college personal statement?
• How important is the personal statement for college admissions?
• Why do colleges require a personal statement?
• Read examples of successful personal statements
• Successful personal statement example & analysis
• Essay editing services can improve your personal statement

Personal Statements and Other College Admissions Essays

Even knowing what specific terms regarding college admissions documents means can be a bit confusing. To clear up any questions, here is a brief rundown of some main college application terms that are often used:

• Personal statement for college — an essay you write to show a college admissions committee who you are and why you deserve to be admitted to their school. It’s worth noting that, unlike “college essay,” this term is used for application essays for graduate school as well.
• College admissions essay— this is essentially the same as a college personal statement. (I’ll be using the terms interchangeably.) It can also include supplemental essays or widely-used essays such as the Common App Essay . 
• Essay prompt— a question or statement that your college essay is meant to respond to.
• Supplemental essay— an additional school or program-specific essay beyond the basic personal statement. Some schools require both a supplemental essay and a personal statement. Check your college’s application guidelines to determine which specific admissions essays are necessary for submission.

What is the personal statement for college?

The college personal statement is a key part of the college application and a key factor among admissions committees. It is the one opportunity for high school students applying to college to sell themselves on their own terms and using their own words.

Personal statements for college differ from SAT scores and academic transcripts, which are more standardized. Further, while letters of recommendation touch on many of the same issues as personal statements, they are not written by you but by a recommender.

A focused and effective personal statement for college serves three major functions:

1. Personal statements give broad, comprehensive insights into your personal and academic background.

Ultimately, your academic, personal, and even professional background can be the determining factor in your admission to any college program. But there’s a big  difference between a personal statement and resume or CV.

2. It provides college admissions counselors with an accurate overview of your academic goals.

A good college personal statement must explain how your background relates to your university’s program and your goals. It must put in context the tools, resources, and background you bring to the table and how they are aligned with your school’s profile. In the business world, this is called “ vertical alignment .”

In other words, how you write about your background should make you stand out from other college applicants as well as connect with what you want to accomplish. Your background empowers you to succeed!

In admissions essays, small steps can yield big results.

3. Personal statements answer very specific questions.

Often, your college application will require you to apply to a specific program and will ask very specific questions. For example, applying to your university’s business college will require answering different application essay questions than applying to a performing arts program.

So be sure to research not only your target university’s profile but also your specific college major and professors in that department.

We illustrate this exact idea in the two successful personal statement examples below!

How Important is the personal statement for college to admissions officials?

Covid-19 has made the sat/act less important.

Common App announced that it will include a dedicated essay prompt on COVID-19 for the 2020-2021 admissions cycle. As a result, students are scrambling to figure out how to write about COVID-19 in their college admissions essays .

There’s even more evidence that the college personal essay is becoming the most important part of the application process. As CBS News reports :

A growing number of U.S. colleges and universities are abandoning ACT and SAT scores as part of their admissions process. The so-called test-blind movement has gathered steam this year amid widespread cancellations of standardized tests because of COVID-19.

Moreover, a court recently ruled that the University of California public school system can no longer consider SAT/ACT scores in the admissions process . The days of the standardized test may be numbered.

This means that the application essay just got a lot more important.

How to Write a Personal Statement for College to Impress Admissions Officers

Why do college admissions committees rely on college application essays so much? The answer is that a college personal statement sets you apart from your high school peers by explaining three ideas:

Show your personality in your personal statement

College admissions committees rely on your transcripts and GPA as a measure of your academic prowess. Letters of recommendation focus more on how others view you and how you interact.

On the other hand, your college personal statement application essay gives admissions counselors a sense of your personality. It demonstrates how you will fit in as well as contribute to the university community.

Are you hyper-focused and ambitious with a lot of professional experience and projects to back it up? Or are you more curious, with a wide range of interests? Are your motivations related to achieving concrete objectives, or are they more personal or emotional in nature? The lens through which you interact with the world is exactly what your personal statement essay should show.

On paper, your SAT score, GPA, and extracurricular activities may be the same as other applicants. You may end up in the same college classes. College counselors know no two applicants are the same. What matters is that both fit in with what the university wants for its students.

Describe any extenuating circumstances

Are your grades a bit below average? Did you fail a class in high school? Those things jump out when it comes to numbers on paper. Universities want to know the context for abnormal records, and most importantly, how you view them.

As the world continues to become more global and aware of social disparities, the definition of “traditional success” is becoming increasingly irrelevant. It has become standard for U.S. universities to have action plans for the diversity and inclusion of underprivileged students.

Most importantly, colleges want to understand how you struggled and overcame a difficult situation. Those are the exact students they want!

Explain why you are applying to this school

Besides selling your personality and explaining any drawbacks or holes in your record, a great college personal statement should provide insights into why you are applying to university. This may seem obvious, but unfortunately, many students get caught up in proving themselves like a job application. They totally forget to explain why they are applying to college.

How to write about reasons for applying to college:

• Define what part(s) of the university appeal to you. Explain how they align with your personal goals and personality.
• Pick out a couple of unique characteristics of the school. These can be professors, programs of study, or facilities.

Successful College Personal Statement Examples

Now that we know how important a college personal statement is and what it does, what’s the first step?

Success imitates success

At Wordvice, we encourage college applicants to look at successful personal statement examples to really absorb and gain insights into what an engaging personal college essay is. Read as many as you can, as no two students are the same. But you will see many of the themes discussed above again and again in successful college personal statements.

College Personal Statement Examples and Sample Essays

To start, Wordvice is including a couple of successful personal statement essay examples, including comments and feedback provided by our editors to the students. Both of these essays were edited by Wordvice’s professional editors , with both students gaining admission!

Personal Statement Essay #1: The “Holistic Profile” Essay

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my interest in studying at the University of ________ as a Supply Chain Management student. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my letter. I am currently studying for a bachelor’s degree in Public Finance and Supply Chain Management at ________ University. I have decided to apply to your Supply Chain Management programme because I am sure it would strongly enrich my future studies and help me in my prospective career. Moreover, I consider this programme as a great opportunity to get to know ________ culture and its well-developed logistic background. I am also very curious about the different approaches taken in this field at a prominent university. I have chosen to apply to the University of________ because it examines all types of supply chain management perspectives, from production to services. During my previous studies, I discovered that simply working on procurement is far from enough. My fellow students and I had the opportunity to create an e-commerce project. At the time, the only thing in our control was the procurement decision, but I soon realized I had the capacity and drive to learn more about solutions and innovations. Another reason I am applying for this programme at ________ is its close relationship with relevant companies in my desired field. I learned on the university’s website that there is a specific resource that helps to connect students with these companies. Since I am interested in working in the Netherlands after I graduate, this resource will definitely be useful for my career. In addition, the fact that this programme offers an option to participate in an apprenticeship is very appealing to me. This could not only broaden my horizons through practical experience but also provide a chance for me to expand my connections in the industry. My current undergraduate studies make me highly suitable for this programme. I have learned the basic foundations of supply chain management through courses such as operations management, strategic purchasing, and inventory management. I have also taken mathematics and statistics to help me understand data problems. In addition to my academic interests, I have a full and interesting life off-campus. I was a member of our school volleyball team, which won several championships; this led to me graduating as an honour’s student. Those times spent on the court have strengthened my team spirit and my ability to work under pressure. During summer vacations, I spend time travelling around Europe and the United States. My first experience in Amsterdam was unforgettable, and it made me consider coming back in the future. Planning the trip carefully, and living alone in an unfamiliar area, have turned me into a more independent young woman. Professionally, I have done internships in international companies such as Red Bull and ASUS. These experiences gave me the chance to work in a global context with people from different countries, which has encouraged me to have a more flexible and adaptive mindset. Because of these wonderful experiences, I am certain I will conquer all future challenges and make the most out of them. In conclusion, I am very eager to study Supply Chain Management at the University of ________, as it would give me a chance to deepen my skills and knowledge in one of the field’s top universities. I am confident I excel in this programme due to my solid educational foundation in business and personality strengths. Thank you again for reading my personal statement. I look forward to hearing from you.

Why was this personal statement for college successful?

The essay is well-organized and directly answers key questions.

The applicant clearly lays out her educational and professional background as well as her skills. She also includes two solid paragraphs about why she has chosen her program of study and later explains why she is both qualified and a perfect fit.

This essay displays excellent organization and has a natural flow of ideas indicative of a native English speaker who can write exceptionally well.

The essay is personal and does not feel like a resume or CV

This college applicant came with a very strong academic and professional background. A solid handle on supply chain management (not the most exciting major) with internships to back it up. But notice how she doesn’t dwell on just that? She is able to connect things like her academic math experience with personal motivation. She even includes her extracurricular activities to show she’s more than a number cruncher.

First, she shows that she is a well-rounded person , not just a student that studies for grades. Second, she conveys her well-developed personal identity that has chosen this course of study at this particular college in this particular country. Make sure your college essay communicates this!

The essay specifically targets the school

Every major university has a business school, and every business school has a supply chain management program. How do the college admissions counselors reading her personal statement know she’s motivated to apply there?

This applicant clearly explains how she personally wants to attend this particular university in The Netherlands. She lists her personal travel experience and mentions a specific mentorship program.

Personal Statement Essay #2: The “Enthusiastic Achiever” Essay

I am passionate about computers because technology will continue to play a fundamental role in our lives. Based on this fact, I researched colleges that have both a strong computer science program and co-op program, and this is when I found Hofstra. I visited the campus for a tour and was really impressed with what I saw. Not only are the campus facilities top-notch, but the advanced computer science labs are world-class. This shows Hofstra’s focus to be able to provide the best intellectual and technical resources for students. I asked my tour guide about the class sizes and curriculum style. I was thrilled when he told me that average class sizes are in the 20s and that the curriculum emphasizes experiential learning.   I am looking for more than just academic excellence; extracurricular activities, including community service opportunities, are also very important to me. In researching schools that would provide students with the most well-rounded lifestyles, I was amazed to see the number of philanthropic events that the school hosts and supports. Philanthropy seems ingrained in the school’s culture. I also saw hundreds of clubs that can cater to everyone’s unique interests. Students are also welcome to start new clubs if no existing clubs can foster their interests. The energy on campus is something that I noticed right away. Both the students and staff show a lot of pride for Hofstra, and it’s truly memorable how enthusiastic the school spirit is among students. Leaving home to attend college is a big change for everyone, and I think school pride and a strong sense of community will help me make a smooth transition. I was very happy to hear that students get two tickets to events on campus. This is especially great because I am a sports fan and would love to experience the electric game-day atmosphere of a division one basketball game and cheer on the Lions!  Hofstra’s location is also ideal because it has the advantages of being in a smaller town but also being very close to New York City. I do not want to attend college in a big city, but the fact that New York City is so close opens up a lot of opportunities. First off, there are numerous internships at top companies in the city. In addition, it would be great to visit the city from time to time and see a show or sports game. Being able to do that with friends would give me great experiences and memories.   Hofstra is my top choice because it fulfills my most important criteria: esteemed faculty members, a strong computer science program, a strong sense of belonging, amazing internship and community service opportunities, and a diverse campus. I cannot wait to be a Hofstra Lion!

This personal statement is brief and under the word count

This essay is 461 words, which is perfectly under the 500-word limit on many college admissions essays. Although content is the main focus, your personal statement needs to abide by all rules laid out in the essay brief. That includes mundane but essential stipulations such as word count.

It is multi-faceted and hits major selling points

The student talks about Hofstra’s location, academics, sports, extracurriculars, and even philanthropy. The student doesn’t just list these as a marketing brochure would; each selling point is connected to the student personally and emotionally. Excitement is something that every student tries to portray in their admissions essay, so be sure you emulate something like this.

Improve Personal Statements with College Essay Editing Services

It’s an understatement that college is one of the most important factors, affecting your social and professional future. Unfortunately, college personal statements and admissions essays sometimes come a bit disorganized and unfocused, just like the students who write them. That’s where essay editing services like Wordvice come in. They are beneficial for a number of reasons.

Why Use an Admissions Essay Editing Service?

1. they help fix errors that you miss.

College admissions committees have to reject a certain number of applicants every year. You can be sure that your application essay will go straight into the reject pile if it has any grammar or spelling errors.

It definitely takes a bit of self-awareness and experience to realize when it’s best to let someone help you. No one person has a monopoly on knowledge or perspective, no matter how strong their background is. Ever played the “what’s the difference between these two pictures” game?

Our brains are hard-wired to lock in our own biases. That’s a major problem when it comes to writing a personal statement where the entire point is convincing someone else.

2. They save students time

College consulting services have stated that the average number of applications is about 5.9 per college applicant. Of course, students will try to maximize their chances of getting into a good college. The downside is lack of time, which no one can buy more of.

English editing services like Wordvice help free up time so you can do what you need to do: apply to college.

3. Editors help improve your ability to communicate

Whether you are an ESL student or a native English speaker, everyone can improve their writing. In the case of a college application essay, this can mean the difference between getting into your dream college and attending your second-choice school. In addition to fixing grammar and basic errors, editing services go above and beyond to match the flow and readability of your writing with your goal – academic or admissions.

If you are writing a personal statement or college essay, you want editors with first-hand college and university admissions experience reviewing and editing your essay.

Additional College Personal Statement Tips

We hope you learned a lot from these examples of successful college personal statements. So what’s next?

I want to learn more about the college admissions process

Interested in learning more tips from experts about the college admissions process, personal statements, or letters of recommendation? Check out the  Wordvice Admissions Resources blog.

I am interested in professional editing for my personal statement

We also got you covered! Whether you choose personal statement editing , recommendation letter editing , resume editing , or any of our other essay editing services , you can find the help you need to improve your college essay.

I want to improve my college personal statement for college right now

Check out our turnaround times and conditions on our editing FAQ page. Or you can jump straight in and use our Editing Price Calculator to start the ordering process.

Admissions 101: How to write a personal statement

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The personal statement is the most important essay you’ll write during the college admissions process; it’s how you’ll communicate your personality and experiences to the admissions officers who will ultimately decide if you’re a good fit for their school.

In this stream, Yesh will be providing a full breakdown of everything you need to know about the personal statement, including: what admissions officers are looking for, common mistakes to avoid, and general tips for writing. He'll also go through an example of an essay or two on-air so you can see how admissions officers would critique this kind of essay.

Yesh will also open up the floor for a Q&A session to answer any questions you may have about the personal statement.

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Work Experience: I've been working at CollegeVine for 6 years mentoring students through BS/MD and undergraduate admissions. I have held many roles on the advising and livestream teams. I am currently a medical student at Boston University and actively pursuing research at Boston University, Mass General Brigham and the Broad Institute.

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How to Write a Personal Statement That Wows Colleges

← What Is an Application Theme and Why Is It Important?

10 Personal Statement Examples That Work →

  Most of the college applications process is fairly cut and dry. You’ll submit information about your classes and grades, standardized test scores, and various other accomplishments and honors. On much of the application, your accomplishments must speak for themselves. 

The personal statement is different though, and it’s your chance to let your voice be heard. To learn more about the personal statement, how to choose a topic, and how to write one that wows colleges, don’t miss this post.

What is the Personal Statement?

Personal statements are used in both undergraduate and graduate admissions. For undergrad admissions, personal statements are any essays students must write to submit their main application. For example, the Common App Essay and Coalition Application Essay are examples of personal statements. Similarly, the ApplyTexas Essays and University of California Essays are also good examples .

Personal statements in college admissions are generally not school-specific (those are called “supplemental essays”). Instead, they’re sent to a wide range of schools, usually every school you apply to. 

What is the Purpose of the Personal Statement?

The personal statement is generally your opportunity to speak to your unique experiences, qualities, or beliefs that aren’t elsewhere represented on the application. It is a chance to break away from the data that defines you on paper, and provide a glimpse into who you really are. In short, it’s the admissions committee’s chance to get to know the real you.

So, what are colleges looking for in your personal statement? They are looking for something that sets you apart. They are asking themselves: do you write about something truly unique? Do you write about something common, in a new and interesting way? Do you write about an aspect of your application that needed further explanation? All of these are great ways to impress with your personal statement.

Beyond getting to know you, admissions committees are also evaluating your writing skills. Are you able to write clearly and succinctly? Can you tell an engaging story? Writing effectively is an important skill in both college and life, so be sure to also fine-tune your actual writing (grammar and syntax), not just the content of your essay.

Is your personal statement strong enough? Get a free review of your personal statement with CollegeVine’s Peer Essay Review.

How To a Choose A Topic For Your Personal Statement

Most of the time, you’re given a handful of prompts to choose from. Common personal statement prompts include:

• Central aspect of your identity (activity, interest, talent, background)
• Overcoming a failure
• Time you rose to a challenge or showed leadership
• Experience that changed your beliefs
• Problem you’d like to solve
• Subject or idea that captivates you

One of the questions that we hear most often about the personal statement is, “How do I choose what to write about?” For some students, the personal statement prompt triggers an immediate and strong idea. For many more, there is at least initially some uncertainty.

We often encourage students to think less about the exact prompt and more about what aspects of themselves they think are most worthy of highlighting. This is especially helpful if you’re offered a “topic of your choice” prompt, as the best essay topic for you might actually be one you make up!

For students with an interesting story or a defining background, these can serve as the perfect catalyst to shape your approach. For students with a unique voice or different perspective, simple topics written in a new way can be engaging and insightful.

Finally, you need to consider the rest of your application when you choose a topic for your personal statement. If you are returning from a gap year, failed a single class during sophomore year, or participated extensively in something you’re passionate about that isn’t elsewhere on your application, you might attempt to address one of these topics in your statement. After all, the admissions committee wants to get to know you and understand who you really are, and these are all things that will give them a deeper understanding of that.

Still, tons of students have a decent amount of writer’s block when it comes to choosing a topic. This is understandable since the personal statement tends to be considered rather high stakes. To help you get the ball rolling, we recommend the post What If I Don’t Have Anything Interesting To Write About In My College Essay?

Tips for Writing a Personal Statement for College

1. approach this as a creative writing assignment..

Personal statements are difficult for many students because they’ve never had to do this type of writing. High schoolers are used to writing academic reports or analytical papers, but not creative storytelling pieces.

The point of creative writing is to have fun with it, and to share a meaningful story. Choose a topic that inspires you so that you’ll enjoy writing your essay. It doesn’t have to be intellectual or impressive at all. You have your transcript and test scores to prove your academic skills, so the point of the personal statement is to give you free rein to showcase your personality. This will result in a more engaging essay and reading experience for admissions officers. 

As you’re writing, there’s no need to follow the traditional five-paragraph format with an explicit thesis. Your story should have an overarching message, but it doesn’t need to be explicitly stated—it should shine through organically. 

Your writing should also feel natural. While it will be more refined than a conversation with your best friend, it shouldn’t feel stuffy or contrived when it comes off your tongue. This balance can be difficult to strike, but a tone that would feel natural when talking with an admired teacher or a longtime mentor is usually a good fit.

2. Show, don’t tell.

One of the biggest mistakes students make is to simply state everything that happened, instead of actually bringing the reader to the moment it happened, and telling a story. It’s boring to read: “I was overjoyed and felt empowered when I finished my first half marathon.” It’s much more interesting when the writing actually shows you what happened and what the writer felt in that moment: “As I rounded the final bend before the finish line, my heart fluttered in excitement. The adrenaline drowned out my burning legs and gasping lungs. I was going to finish my first half marathon! This was almost incomprehensible to me, as someone who could barely run a mile just a year ago.”

If you find yourself starting to write your essay like a report, and are having trouble going beyond “telling,” envision yourself in the moment you want to write about. What did you feel, emotionally and physically? Why was this moment meaningful? What did you see or hear? What were your thoughts?

For inspiration, read some memoirs or personal essays, like The New York Times Modern Love Column . You could also listen to podcasts of personal stories, like The Moth . What do these writers and storytellers do that make their stories engaging? If you didn’t enjoy a particular story, what was it that you didn’t like? Analyzing real stories can help you identify techniques that you personally resonate with.

3. Use dialogue.

A great way to keep your writing engaging is to include some dialogue. Instead of writing: “My brothers taunted me,” consider sharing what they actually said. It’s more powerful to read something like:

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

Having dialogue can break up longer paragraphs of text, and bring some action and immediacy to your story. That being said, don’t overdo it. It’s important to strike a balance between relying too much on dialogue, and using it occasionally as an effective writing tool. You don’t want your essay to read like a script for a movie (unless, of course, that’s intentional and you want to showcase your screenwriting skills!).

Want free essay feedback? Submit your essay to CollegeVine’s Peer Essay Review and get fast, actionable edits on your essay. 

Common Mistakes to Avoid in Personal Statements

1. giving a recap or report of all the events..

Your essay isn’t a play-by-play of everything that happened in that time frame. Only include relevant details that enrich the story, instead of making your personal statement a report of the events. Remember that the goal is to share your voice, what’s important to you, and who you are. 

2. Writing about too many events or experiences. 

Similarly, another common mistake is to make your personal statement a resume or recap of all your high school accomplishments. The Activities Section of the Common App is the place for listing out your achievements, not your personal statement. Focus on one specific experience or a few related experiences, and go into detail on those. 

3. Using cliche language.

Try to avoid overdone quotes from famous people like Gandhi or Thoreau. Better yet, try to avoid quotes from other people in general, unless it’s a message from someone you personally know. Adding these famous quotes won’t make your essay unique, and it takes up valuable space for you to share your voice.

You should also steer away from broad language or lavish claims like “It was the best day of my life.” Since they’re so cliche, these statements also obscure your message, and it’s hard to understand what you actually mean. If it was actually the best day of your life, show us why, rather than just telling us.

If you want to learn more about personal statements, see our post of 11 Common App Essay Examples .

Want help with your college essays to improve your admissions chances? Sign up for your free CollegeVine account and get access to our essay guides and courses. You can also get your essay peer-reviewed and improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

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How to Write a Personal Statement with Examples

IvyWise On-Demand: College Admissions 101 Series: Common App and Essays

In this webinar, IvyWise college admissions counselors walk event attendees through each step of the Common App and also share tips on brainstorming essay topics, beginning the first draft, being mindful of word choice and tone, carefully editing the final essay, and using supplemental essays to demonstrate their interest in each college on their list.

By IvyWise College Admissions Counselors

It’s one of the most critical, confusing, and stressful parts of completing the college application process: the personal statement. As a component of the Common Application, the personal statement gives students the most control and the best opportunity to let the university get to know a little more about them. The predetermined prompts are broad enough that students can write about whatever they want — as long as it relates to their chosen essay question.

How to Write a Personal Statement with Examples: Table of Contents

What Is a Personal Statement?

Why the personal statement is important, what are the three parts of a personal statement, 7 questions to ask oneself before writing a personal statement, 6 tips to writing a great personal statement, how do i start off a personal statement, how to write the body of my personal statement: 6-step foolproof strategy, what is a good last sentence for a personal statement, should i use ai and chatgpt for my essay, examples of a good personal statement, how ivywise can help me with my personal statement.

The personal statement is an important part of the  admissions committee review process . This essay is short but impactful, allowing the admissions committee to get to know more about you beyond your grades, test scores, extracurriculars, and recommendation letters. 

It should provide a compelling narrative that expresses your authentic voice and helps the committee understand who you are and how you would contribute to the campus community. Other parts of the college application don’t provide much insight into your personality, which is why the personal statement matters.  

When students think about what it takes to get into college, the first thing that usually comes to mind is good grades and test scores. While those “hard factors” are critical, the  college application evaluation also takes into account “soft factors,” or the application elements that aren’t so easily quantified — like essays, recommendations, extracurricular activities, and more. The essay is the most important soft factor that colleges consider, according to  NACAC’s State of College Admissions report .

The personal statement, when used properly, can give admissions officers additional insight into who a student is as a person, what motivates them, and, more practically, how that student communicates and follows directions. An amazing personal statement isn’t going to guarantee admission, but it can positively impact a student’s application, while a poor personal statement can really hurt a student’s chances of getting in. This is  why college essays matter and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Students need to put a lot of effort into writing a great essay to enhance their chances of admission.

A personal statement typically consists of three main parts:

• Introduction : This section should grab the reader’s attention and introduce who you are. It’s often effective to start with a personal anecdote, a memorable experience, or a brief overview of your background and what has inspired your interest in continuing your studies at the college level.
• Body : This is the main part of your statement where you detail your experiences, achievements, and qualifications. This section should highlight relevant academic, personal, and extracurricular experiences that demonstrate your character, skills, and strengths. Discuss specific experiences that have prepared you for the challenges of college life and any unique contributions you can make.
• Conclusion : This section should summarize your main points, reiterate your enthusiasm and readiness for college, and restate your long-term goals. It’s an opportunity to leave a lasting impression.

Each part should flow naturally into the next, creating a cohesive and compelling narrative that effectively showcases your qualifications and interests.

Asking yourself the following questions can help you reflect on your experiences, motivations, and goals to create a compelling and personalized narrative:

1. Why am I interested in this field? What experiences sparked my interest? Have I had any defining moments that solidified my decision?

2. What are my long-term career goals? How does earning a college degree align with those goals? What do I hope to achieve in the future?

3. What are my relevant experiences and achievements? What academic, professional, or personal experiences have prepared me for college? What specific skills or knowledge have I gained from these experiences?

4. What unique qualities or perspectives do I bring? How do my background, culture, or personal experiences contribute to my perspective? What sets me apart from other applicants?

5. How have I demonstrated commitment and passion for this field? Have I participated in relevant extracurricular activities, volunteer work, or research? What projects or initiatives have I been involved in that show my dedication?

6. What challenges or obstacles have I overcome? How have these experiences shaped my character and resilience? What lessons have I learned from these challenges?

7. What contributions can I make? What unique perspectives or skills can I offer?

Reflecting on these questions can help you gather the content and focus needed to write a compelling and authentic personal statement.

Don’t rush the process of writing a personal statement. It can be intimidating — especially since the admissions committee is your audience — so allow yourself plenty of time to draft and revise. These six tips can help college-bound high school seniors write a great personal statement essay.

#1 Reveal Something New About Yourself

We say this every year because it’s one of the essay tips students struggle with the most. In an attempt to show a specialty or passion, students can often be redundant and spend the length of the essay reiterating something else that’s already in the application. If marching band is on your activity list, the college already knows you enjoy music, so don’t spend your essay writing about what it means to play flute in the band.

Take this opportunity to give the admissions office insight into something new about you. Whether it’s how your religion impacts your education, how a mentor helped you realize your potential, or an event that’s shaped who you are today, write about something with substance that adds another dimension to your application.

#2 Spend Time Brainstorming Topics

To reveal something new about yourself, choose a meaningful and original essay topic. While the Common App essay questions are helpful, it’s up to you to choose a personal topic that ties in with the Common App prompt you’ve selected. Take time to think about what’s important to you, what people or events have shaped you, and what you think is interesting about yourself.

Don’t just choose the most obvious topic, like the soccer team captain writing about winning the championship game. Instead, think of events, themes, life experiences, and more that are somewhat unique to you and how they’ve impacted you. Investing in brainstorming is key to writing a stellar personal statement.

The topic you ultimately choose must make for a strong narrative. To give you an example, Robin , an IvyWise college admissions counselor, shares what she wrote about in her personal statement.

#3 Be Mindful of Word Choice, Tone, and Voice

Your essay should sound like you wrote it, so avoid this  college application mistake and don’t overload it with long vocabulary words, complex sentence structure, or a lofty tone if that’s not how you normally write or speak. However, don’t be afraid to stretch your writing skills.

The personal statement should demonstrate your best writing, so take your time to carefully craft an essay that clearly conveys your story and your voice. Avoid redundant words or phrases, filler words that don’t add any value, or confusing language that muddles the message.

#4 Practice, Practice, Practice!

It’s rare that anyone’s first draft is the perfect personal statement. Just like with anything else, you get better with practice. Write often, whether in a journal, blog, or another outlet, to improve and evolve your writing skills. When it comes time to pen your personal statement, practice that, too. Revise, revise, and then revise again. It often takes students many drafts before they have a personal statement that demonstrates their best writing and clearly conveys the essay’s message.

#5 Don’t Procrastinate

A stellar essay isn’t usually written in a day. We advise students to get a head start on their personal statements by brainstorming topics and writing the first draft as early as the summer before the school year starts. That way, some of the most difficult work — choosing a topic and starting the writing process — is done before you head into a hectic senior year. 

However, we realize this isn’t always the case for students. No matter where you are with your personal statement, don’t wait to get feedback or help from your college counselor. The earlier you can get this essay done, the better!

#6 Expand on Relevant Skills and Experiences

Your personal statement is an opportunity to expand on your skills and experiences. Weave these details into your narrative — how you developed and honed these skills and how they helped you personally and professionally. Did you learn more personal responsibility? Did you gain more self-confidence? Did you realize that you are a natural leader? These are all details you can include.

These are just a few tips that can help you get started with writing a great personal statement. Remember, be yourself and write about what’s important to you — not what you think the college wants to read. 

IvyWise counselors Rachel and Zach share their top tips on how to brainstorm and write college application essays, and what admissions officers are looking for when they read them on the Just Admit It! college admissions podcast. Listen now to learn how to brainstorm and write college essays and what admissions officers are looking for when they read them.

An effective personal statement introduction contains a “hook” — an opening that grabs the reader’s attention and sets the tone for the rest of your essay. Here are some ideas to get your creative juices flowing:

•   Share an anecdote or personal story.
•   Pose a thought-provoking question.
•   Use a quotation.
•   State a compelling fact or statistic.
•   Reflect on a defining moment or experience.
•   Describe a challenge or obstacle you overcame.
•   Introduce a passion or interest.

A compelling introduction provides a glimpse into your motivations and personality and tempts the reader to want to know more.

Like your high school essays, the body of your personal statement builds on the idea or theme you presented in your introductory paragraph.

#1 Start with Strong Topic Sentences

Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. It’s important to keep in mind that your topic sentences should support the overall theme or idea from your introduction. 

#2 Be Specific

The admissions committee wants to get to know you, so don’t be afraid to write about your life in detail. Describe what you did, how you did it, and the impact of your actions. Specific examples make your personal statement more engaging, authentic, and credible.  

#3 Reflect on What You Learned

Explain the lessons you learned from your experiences and how they contributed to your personal and professional growth. For instance, detail how overcoming a particular challenge taught you resilience and problem-solving skills, and explain how these qualities helped you grow as a person.

#4 Connect Experiences to Your Goals

Link your experiences to your goals by highlighting how your past achievements and challenges have prepared you for the academic and professional path you aspire to follow. For example, describe how your participation in a high school science club fueled your passion for biology and inspired your goal to pursue a career in medical research.

#5 Maintain a Cohesive Narrative

Ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, reinforcing your central theme. Use clear transitions and consistently relate your experiences and goals back to your overarching story, creating a seamless and engaging progression from your introduction to your conclusion.

#6 Be Authentic

Write like you speak. Don’t use vocabulary you wouldn’t normally use or stuff your essay full of words you think will impress the admissions committee. That said, your essay should also be relatively free of grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors — though you aren’t expected to be perfect.

Ideally, you want your personal statement to make a lasting impression on the admission committee. A strong conclusion connects to the beginning of your essay, reinforces your key points, and makes the case for why you should be admitted. Check out the personal statement samples below from our IvyWise students for inspiration.

College admissions committees value authenticity and uniqueness, which is why we do not recommend using  ChatGPT for essay writing — AI tools lack the personality and emotional intelligence that should shine through in your personal statement. That said, ChatGPT and other AI tools can provide suggestions and help you generate ideas. Your essay is an opportunity to highlight what makes you special — not to mention, it shows off your written communication skills. So, if you use these tools at all, use them sparingly.

These examples of good personal statements come from IvyWise students. Each responds to a different personal statement prompt on the Common App and provides insights into themselves that wouldn’t appear elsewhere in their applications.  

Personal Statement Example 1

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? (650 words max)

“What is utopia?” Dr. Cohen challenged my junior-year English class while we discussed Chang-Rae Lee’s dystopian novel On Such a Full Sea.

“A world without poverty and war!” “No discrimination or injustice!” “A four-day school week!”

As my classmates described their “perfect” worlds, I struggled for my own. In Qingdao, my home until I was eight, I’d been taught that the People’s Republic was the ideal society. Yet, the surveillance cameras in our classrooms defied a sense of freedom, and the songs we recited at assembly praising the Party felt mechanical and forced. When my family moved to California, I anticipated a freer, more just country, but disappointment followed. A sixth-grade classmate asked how I could see through my slanted eyes; our neighbors mimicked my mom for saying “sanks” instead of “thanks;” and last year, I encountered threats of censorship when I submitted a newspaper article about microaggressions against students of color.

As I sat in Dr. Cohen’s class mulling over these thoughts, I couldn’t hold back. I raised my hand. “Utopia doesn’t exist,” I stated firmly.

Sir Thomas More titled his paradisical satire from the Greek word ou-topos, which literally means “no place, nowhere,” and I was beginning to understand his irony: How could utopia exist in a world plagued by so much injustice and distrust? Because we humans are imperfect, I rationalized, no place inhabited by us could ever be perfect. In fact, all the authors we had explored in class–Atwood, Orwell, Ishiguro–affirmed this grim reality.

I am, by nature, an optimist, so for days after the utopia dilemma, I was bothered by my unexpected cynicism. Struggling to formulate a universal truth that would define the perfect world, I pored over utopian philosophies–those of Plato, St. Augustine, Owen. As I sought an answer, I found myself drawn to moments in my own life: cooking baozi with my grandmother, sharing sugar cookies with fellow newspaper staff during Saturday layouts, singing Adele’s hits with my mom driving home with fresh strawberries from the farmers’ market, and laughing hysterically with Kate and Ben while watching our mockumentary about Halloween. Though these moments weren’t documented in treatises, they were my utopias, my souvenirs of unblemished happiness.

But how could my everyday moments possibly approach the grand worlds posited by renowned philosophers? My utopias didn’t fit the model of the detached island that More had envisioned; my idylls depended upon close relationships and camaraderie, not solitude. Nor did my visions of ideal existence involve the propaganda and censorship upon which Plato’s Kallipolis was founded; my utopias rested on honesty, compassion, and companionship. Connection, I reasoned, is essential to utopia because our very nature is relational, a deep longing within each of us to seek the comfort of another.

I realized then that utopia isn’t one place or condition; it’s every small moment of engaging with others, of feeling known and letting others know they too are seen and understood. It’s not just gathering for celebration; it’s bolstering during injustice, sharing over grief, forgiving despite betrayal. It was marching with fellow Black Lives Matter protesters, mourning with my childhood playmates when our friend Kairan died, forgiving Anna for divulging my secret, and Anna’s forgiving me for divulging hers.

In class, I’d vehemently agreed with More that utopia existed nowhere. I recognize now that it can–it must–exist everywhere, especially in a challenging world where sometimes all we have is each other.

I’m still convinced there is no perfect world; I’m not sure it was even fair for me to expect one when I know that I myself am far from perfect. But my acceptance of human flaws, including my own, has not diminished my optimism. Instead, I’ve become even more determined to create for myself and others those special moments that give life meaning and purpose.

Why This Essay Works

This essay stands out because the student demonstrates their ability to think critically, question their own beliefs, and come to a new understanding about themselves. The student provides a window into their personality, and their experiences as an ethnic minority helps the admissions committee understand the diverse perspective this student can contribute to the campus community.

Personal Statement Example 2

Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (650 words max)

As a sailor, I revel in the piercing wind, the sound of my boat tearing through the water, and the periodic ice-cold splashes in my lap. But my head is always filled with questions. Why do we set the sail at certain angles? To find the answer, I went home and filled my beloved chalkboard with trigonometry and calculus, deriving that the sail’s optimal angle is half the bow’s angle to the wind. And how does a sailboat sail? Bernoulli’s principle in AP Physics answered that.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve learned best by asking questions and exchanging ideas. A simple question can lead my mind to go out for a stroll… and fall down a rabbit hole, like the one I found myself in during an elective on Nazi Germany. Every few sentences I read sparked a question to Google: What was the history of IG Farben? What obscure facts can I learn about Berchtesgaden? This happens with everything I read; when I need to move on to other work, I create a long list of questions to research later. Every answer sparks more questions and more articles saved in open tabs, running me up against the 500-tab limit on both web browsers on my phone. To paraphrase JFK: As my knowledge grows, my ignorance unfolds.

But seeking answers goes beyond gathering information. In Mock Trial, my moral and political views often lead me to quickly conclude which side is “right.” Building two opposing arguments, arguing passionately for both, and asking questions to poke holes in my own arguments allows me to understand different perspectives. I’ve learned that no issue is as clear-cut as it seems. For example, I always saw student debt as a matter of personal responsibility. Then a conversation with my English teacher while on a field trip made me waver. Hearing about the weight of her monthly payments and her struggles to make ends meet, I saw that the student debt crisis requires a societal response. She dedicated her life to teaching students like me, and I was benefitting from her burden. I now find myself interested in questions with purpose: How do issues like student debt impact people’s lives? What can be done about it?

Such questions about morality and effectiveness are at the heart of policy discussions. I’ve seen how policy questions affect real people, whether I’m talking to voters about the Cincinnati streetcar while working on a local campaign, writing about the national abortion debate, or advocating for STEM education funding on Capitol Hill. How should Cincinnati spend its transportation budget? What is the best way to bring robotics programs to disadvantaged communities? Asking such questions and hearing different perspectives is critical to crafting effective policies.

To inform my opinions on difficult questions, I absorb viewpoints from opposing sources and debate (often vigorously!) with my friends and family. I scrutinize problems with arguments in publications that align with my beliefs and carefully consider good points by authors I typically disagree with. I dive past the political zealotry tied to Supreme Court rulings, reading law review articles and referencing my course notes from Justice , where I read Kant, Mills, and Rawls. Using these resources, I examined the legal and moral questions around the 2021 case Cedar Point Nursery v. Hassid , writing an article weighing employers’ property rights and unions’ rights to organize workers. But not all questions are weighty: I love bickering with my best friend about whether Shakespeare was better than Marlowe (he was) or arguing with her over which Star Wars movie is best (clearly, The Force Awakens , not The Empire Strikes Back ).

Asking questions forces me to think, leading toa deeper understanding. While some questions are trivial, the answers are always interesting. More importantly, the answers to some questions can meaningfully impact people’s lives. This is what motivates me to keep learning, keep debating, and keep questioning.

This essay demonstrates the student’s critical thinking skills and what motivates them to learn both in and out of the classroom. The main idea flows seamlessly throughout the essay, from topics that pique the student’s interest in class to social and political issues and activities that inspire them to question, debate, and understand. It gives the admission committee a good idea of how this student will contribute to the class and the wider campus community.

At IvyWise, our team of former admissions officers works with students to help them brainstorm and identify compelling personal statement topics, provide feedback on essay drafts, and more. Our college counseling services and strategic admissions support can help you stand out in all aspects of your application.

Just looking for help with your personal statement? We offer customizable programs to fit your specific needs, goals, and budget, including smaller programs focusing on your college essay.  Contact us today for information on our counseling services.

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3 Personal Statement Examples for College Admissions Personal statements represent who you are as a person to admissions officers at universities. Continue reading for everything you need to know about how to write one, including examples.

By Dan Bova May 31, 2023

You may be almost done with high school and are getting ready to apply to your dream college.

Or maybe you are already enrolled in your undergraduate studies and are in the process of applying to graduate school.

Regardless of your post-secondary status, did you know that admissions committees consider more than just your GPA in the application process when deciding whether or not to accept you?

One significant college application component that application committees consider is your personal statement.

Continue reading for everything you need to know about a personal statement and how to write one that helps you stand out.

What is a personal statement?

A personal statement is a way to let college admissions know more about you than just your grades.

This is where you can talk about yourself, your passions, your role models, your life experiences and any unique skills or real-world experience that may help you stand out.

It is also where you describe why you want to attend that specific college and program and why you deserve to be admitted to their school.

The main difference between a personal statement and a college essay is that personal statements can also be used for application to grad school.

Related: 4 Best Practices for Smarter Higher-Education Admissions Procedures

What can you include in your personal statement?

There are two critical components of a great personal statement.

These include the factual information admissions officers seek and the more personal facts that make you unique.

Below are a few questions to consider to write a strong personal statement:

• Why did you choose this particular course?
• What about this subject matter do you find exciting?
• Do you have any experience in this field?
• Do you have any related work experience?
• Do you have any life experiences you would like to explain?
• What achievements are you the most proud of?
• What skills do you possess that would make you an ideal fit?
• What are your professional goals?

Related: 3 Digital Trends Shaping the Future of College Admissions | Entrepreneur

Tips for writing a great personal statement

While there is no defined right or wrong way to write a personal statement, below are some guidelines that the best personal statements follow to help them stand out.

Answer all the questions asked

If you are applying to more than one school, it is imperative to answer all the questions each school asks.

Schools ask different questions, so make sure you take your time and answer all their questions thoroughly.

Related: Want to Be a Better Writer of Books and Essays? Start by Avoiding These Common Writing Mistakes. | Entrepreneur

Tell your story

Want to kill your chances of getting accepted? One of the worst things you can do is bore the admissions committee.

Instead, use your own experiences to make sure your personal statement is exciting and unique and shows who you are and why you would be a good fit for their college.

If you can uniquely tell your personal story, it can help you stand out from the other applicants, as the reader can get a strong sense of who you are.

Related: Find Your Why and Tell Your Story: Lessons for Budding Entrepreneurs From Gerard Adams

Be specific and use examples

It is imperative to be specific in your personal statement as to why you want to enroll at their college and in that particular course.

You want to use examples of why you are interested in that field of study and why you want to pursue a career in that industry.

For example, don't simply say you want to enter healthcare and would make a great doctor.

Instead, state that you would make a fantastic doctor and list your traits and experiences related to excelling in that field.

These can include examples like if you have a family member who is dealing with mental health issues, and you want to be able to help others in a similar situation.

Find your angle

Not everyone has led a life full of excitement and adventure to write about.

If your story needs more excitement, you must find an angle that helps make you unique .

This could include any personal struggles you have faced, special talents you possess, unique extracurricular activities you are a part of or how you have overcome obstacles or hardships in your life.

Focus on your opening statement

Your opening statement is where you want to hook the reader and grab their attention.

Your first paragraph is usually the most critical, setting the tone for your personal essay.

In this paragraph, stress why the admissions committee may be interested in you and what sets you apart from the rest.

Talk about what you know

The middle portion of your personal statement is where you can describe your interests and experience in the field you want to study and any previous knowledge of it.

When brainstorming ideas to write about, it is crucial to be as specific as possible regarding expressing what you know about the field.

It is a good idea to use in-depth professional language specific to that field and relate any previous experience, classes, conversations with people in that field, books you have read and seminars you have attended that pertain to that subject matter.

Related: 7 Writing Hacks Every Writer Must Know | Entrepreneur

Do your research

Putting in some hard work and being well-educated about any questions the school may have is vital.

This can include what sets them apart from other schools and is why you want to attend their institution.

If attending that particular school would provide a geographical or cultural convenience for you, those are also important factors to mention.

Proofread carefully

It is critical to proofread your personal statement carefully.

Many admissions officers say a well-written, easy-to-read personal statement showing a good English language command is essential.

Sticking to the word count and getting your point across clearly and concisely is also imperative.

Related: I'm a Freelance Writer and I Love Grammarly | Entrepreneur

Stay away from cliches

To stand out and be unique, try to avoid cliches .

This can be as simple as applying to medical school and writing that you want to be a doctor because you are good at science and want to help people.

Avoiding common statements and expressing unique and original thoughts is vital.

Some typical cliches to stay away from include:

• From a young age...
• For as long as I can remember...
• I have always been interested in...
• Throughout my life, I have always enjoyed…

Related: Stop Talking In Cliches: 4 Tips for More Creative, Original Marketing | Entrepreneur

Questions to ask after you write your first draft

Once you have written the first draft of your personal statement, it is time for revisions .

This step is crucial in submitting a great personal statement, so take your time.

At this stage, it is helpful to read it out loud so you can hear any areas that might need work. Finding someone objective to read it and provide feedback can also be beneficial.

It is recommended to ask yourself the following questions when it comes to revising your statement:

• Does your statement answer all the required questions?
• Is your opening statement exciting and captures the readers' attention? Is your entire statement unique and captures your personal experiences?
• Does your statement help you stand out from the rest?
• Is your statement positive and confident?
• Does your statement contain controversial material (such as religion or politics) that can be omitted?
• Have you expressed yourself clearly?
• Is your personal essay written in standard essay format? Does it have an introduction, body and conclusion?
• Do you have a smooth transition between sentences and paragraphs?
• Have you proofread your entire statement for any spelling and grammatical mistakes?

Related: 19 Tips to Immediately Improve Your Writing (Infographic) | Entrepreneur

3 Personal statement examples

Here are some excellent personal statement essay examples that you can use as inspiration to write your own.

1. Athletic personal statement

Personal Statement of Laura Marx , hailing from Menomonee Falls, WI:

I have been playing basketball since I was five years old. Since I first stepped on the court, I have aspired to play at the collegiate level. I know that playing in college is a once in a lifetime opportunity that could change my whole life.

I have strong ball handling skills, strong physical defense, mental toughness, and high basketball IQ. I am a team leader and try to lead by example while also encouraging my teammates. I am very coachable and assist my coach with leading practices and coaching other teammates to success. I strive to be one of the hardest working players and one of the hardest working recruits you'll find.

I work hard year round on my basketball skills, participating in Select Basketball, then the last several years on an AAU Team, also participating in years of Little League, Select Soccer, High School Soccer, Cross Country and Track and lifting in the weight room, which all contributes to my athleticism.

In the classroom, I study hard and maintain a high GPA. Inducted into both the National Honor Society and German National Honor Society. Received High Honorable Mention in Metro Conference. I also volunteer at local youth basketball camps and soccer camps along with my volunteer work at my Church, Elmbrook Church.

I want to attend a college where I can push myself in the classroom and on the basketball court. I am open to all options and want to ultimately find the right college match at the highest level of competition possible. I hope to become a great role model to all my peers, in my community and make my parents proud.

Related: The Best 7 Essay Writing Services In 2023 | Entrepreneur

2. Medical personal statement

Here is an outstanding medical sample essay that you can use as a template to base your application essay on:

I realize that medicine may not always have positive outcomes, having witnessed two deaths at a young age. However, the inevitable fallibility of the human body has driven my desire to acquire a better understanding of the complicated processes and mechanisms of our body. I am captivated by the prospect of lifelong learning; the rapid and ceaseless pace of change in medicine means that there is a vast amount of knowledge in an astonishing number of fields.

Work experience and volunteering have intensified my desire to pursue the profession; it gave me the chance to observe doctors diagnosing problems and establishing possible routes of treatment; I found the use of monoclonal antibodies in kidney transplantation fascinating. A doctor needs to be skilled, dexterous and creative. Medicine is a scientific discipline that requires a profound understanding of the physiology of the body, but the application of medicine can be an art, especially when communications between the doctor and the patient can influence the outcome of the treatment. I admire the flexibility of doctors; an inpatient needs to be approached with sensitivity and reassurance, whereas an acute admission patient would benefit more from hands-on assessments. I have been volunteering at Derriford Hospital since 2010. The most valuable part is taking time to converse with the patients to alleviate their stress and appreciate their concerns, demonstrating my understanding of the importance of listening. I appreciate that the quality of life is more important than the quantity of years, as a recent death at the ward made me realise that despite all the technological advances and our increasing understanding of the human body, there is a limit to what we can achieve.

My Nuffield Bursary project was based on finding potential medical treatments for sepsis by working on the molecular genetics of bacteria-infected cells. Using theory to interpret laboratory experiments allowed me to show how an enzyme was involved in the inflammatory response mechanism. My skills of organisation and time management were recognised by the Individual Achievement Award for my role as Finance Director in the Young Enterprise team. I used my leadership skills to assign team members to tasks to which their talents were best suited and demonstrated effective communication and teamwork to meet the deadlines. I took part in the British Mathematical Olympiad after receiving the Gold and Best in School prize for the Senior Maths challenge last year. Regular participation in the Individual and Team Maths Challenge enhanced my lateral thinking. The numerous awards I have won such as Best Results at GCSE and Bronze in the Physics Olympiad not only show my ability in a range of subjects but also my commitment to my academic career. As a subject mentor, I developed my ability to break down problems, explaining them in a logical, analytical yet simpler way. I cherished the opportunity to work with the younger pupils; enabling them to grasp new concepts, and I believe that discussing ideas, problems or case studies with colleagues will be even more rewarding.

A keen pianist, I have been playing for 14 years. At the age of 12, I became the pianist for the Children's Amateur Theatre Society. Perseverance was essential as I was learning numerous songs each week showing commitment, resilience and attention to detail, which are transferable skills applicable to medicine. Playing in front of 300 people regularly helped me to build my confidence and taught me to stay calm under pressure. Playing the piano is a hobby that I love and I will continue to pursue it to balance my academic life.

I believe I possess the ability, devotion, diligence and determination required for this course that demands a holistic understanding of both the sciences and the arts. I will relish the challenges on an academic and personal level and I look forward to following this vocation in the future.

Related: 10 Social Media Tips for Students to Improve Their College Admission Chances | Entrepreneur

3. Law school personal statement

Personal statement of Tucker , Harvard Law School:

I did not know that my home town was a small one until I was 15 years old. Growing up, I thought I lived in the big city, because Greensboro has skyscrapers—isn't that the dividing line between the big city and not? It's also the first town that appears on interstate signs in North Carolina once you get on I-40, headed west from Durham. I figured if the interstate thought we were important, why shouldn't I? So when I went to Rochester, New York in tenth grade for a student conference with my friends at school, I proudly announced that I was from Greensboro to the first person who asked, only to have her, a Bronx resident, respond, "Uh, where?" It was then that I learned one thing it could not claim to be was "the big city."

That student conference, as well as the handful of other opportunities I had to travel in high school, was my first inkling that, for many people, the Blue Ridge Mountains were not a known part of the very big world I grew up aching to see more of. Because even before I realized that Greensboro was no major landmark, I still wanted to explore beyond it. My mother taught French and Spanish and was always eager to ensure I realized there were places beyond my backyard. I was also exhausted by the idea of graduating college and returning home to work in Greensboro, where, at the time, jobs were not always plentiful and hobbies were few. But, for financial reasons, college was not my long-dreamt-of exodus. I went to the University of North Carolina, which, while an hour away, certainly belongs to the same chunk of Carolina as Greensboro.

In Chapel Hill, I loved long drives. My road of choice was Mount Sinai Road. It winds down the banks of Old Field Creek, bridging the gap between Durham and I-40. It's the start of the route I took back to High Point to visit my family, and it's where I rode my bike during Chapel Hill summers. It was on Mount Sinai that I first realized how attached to this region I am.

Along Mount Sinai's twists and turns, you can get a real sense of what North Carolina is and can be. There's a deep agrarian heritage and rolling hills that hide the sun from their most intimate holler. Along these roads live a people who do not mind being heard, as their "These are God's roads, so don't drive like hell" sign would have you know. Most of all, though, Mount Sinai was one of many places over the last 25 years in Appalachia that taught me how much this land means to me. I recognize the grasses and the trees and the architecture and the people in a way that I could not possibly know another place, and that knowledge has rooted me in a way that I did not expect as a child at a student conference in Rochester, New York.

As I realized how distinctly Appalachian my own personal history is, I started to see similar connections in my family. I learned of our family struggles with substance use and of my mother's father's affinity for our Confederate heritage. I learned I'm only a few generations removed from the McCoys of Hatfield-McCoy fame. I learned that the not-so-rosy Appalachian existence was not a storybook reality but a familial one. However, I also learned of my grandfather's sense of adventure and of the unique sense of play my father was gifted with as a child by being able to spend so much time outside in the crick. I learned that my grandmother once modeled for the rail photographer O. Winston Link and that my great uncle once threw a snowball at Elvis.

In the last year, I also saw Appalachia couched in a larger national context, especially as I tried to reckon with my home place from afar while living and working abroad last summer. I intimately knew the people, "the poor, white, rural voters," being bandied about as political caricatures on television. As the opiate crisis worsens, a national spotlight is being thrust on my neighbors in West Virginia. As commentators wonder how much historical context justifies the presence of Confederate monuments, attention turns to Charlottesville. My home place, my Appalachia, is becoming a topic of a much larger conversation about how to support the plight of the rural American while not also succumbing to the part of that population that longs for an unequal, racist past. I believe my voice adds to that conversation. So, I took to door-knocking for Representative Edward Mitchell, knowing that the first impact I might have could be a political one. I don't want to stop there. The law can open even more doors.

The Appalachian conversation is necessarily a legal one. As some Carolinians line up along racial boundaries, many good lawyers are working to combat the mass incarceration of minority populations, while other good lawyers champion free speech for even the most maligned activists. When free speech intertwines with debates about white nationalism and the South's history, impact litigators argue multiple sides to arrive at good legal judgments that do not stop at popular opinion. As my own mayor was maligning the presence of refugees, Virginia immigration lawyers were ensuring that local migrants were educated about their rights and responsibilities. The rigor in pursuit of justice that legal conversation applies has an immense role to play in these heated debates.

In particular, the conversation about race can go deeper here at home than most are willing to take it. One issue that has faced recent attention in the highest courts is equal representation in the electorate. Studying at Harvard will train me to ensure that existing civil rights are protected. It will teach me about the viewpoints informing present discussions of how civil rights are defined and advocated for. While race, gerrymandering, and voter ID laws are contentious issues on a national scale, both recent attention and my deep roots in the region have made it clear to me that North Carolina is a place where the legal conversation needs to be carried further. I want to attend Harvard to acquire the skills, legal context and history, and education to do this work in my home.

Related: Why Every Law School Should Teach Entrepreneurship | Entrepreneur

A personal reflection of you

Unlike just looking at your GPA, your personal statement allows the admissions board to see who you are as a person.

This is your opportunity to let your personality shine and wow them with the person you are and want to become.

By following the steps and examples outlined above, you can be well on your way to writing an impressive personal statement that can help open the door to the college of your dreams.

Check out Entrepreneur's other articles for more information about personal statements and other professional topics.

Entrepreneur Staff

VP of Special Projects

Dan Bova is the VP of Special Projects at Entrepreneur.com. He previously worked at Jimmy Kimmel Live, Maxim, and Spy magazine. His latest books for kids  include  This Day in History , Car and Driver's Trivia Zone ,  Road & Track Crew's Big & Fast Cars , The Big Little Book of Awesome Stuff , and  Wendell the Werewolf . 

Read his humor column This Should Be Fun  if you want to feel better about yourself.

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How to write a good personal statement .

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Are you a study abroad aspirant? Are you also stuck at the step of writing a powerful personal statement? We understand your struggle, and we are here to help you. The constant spiral of what to mention and what not to mention in the personal statement can be exhausting, but this does not mean that you should give up. In this blog, we will share some of the best tips that will make your personal statement for university application stand out from the crowd.  

What is a personal statement?  

A personal statement can be understood as an essay about your talents, achievements, goals, experiences and other such important aspects of your life. These are submitted to universities or jobs along with the individual’s resume. The personal statement structure for jobs and universities differs in terms of length and content. Writing a personal statement for university means writing in detail about your life experiences and goals. However, these are not more than three or four paragraphs long. So, if you are wondering how to write a personal statement for university in detail and explain your entire life in 3-4 paragraphs, then we are here for you. However, we would advise you to check the specific requirements of the university you are applying to, and similarly write personal statement. 

How to write personal statement? 

One of the major questions that students often have is about how to start a personal statement. Whether you are writing a personal statement for a master’s or you are writing a personal statement for scholarship, here are some tips that can help you in exceling both. To get answers to all your questions, read the tips given below. 

• Firstly, start with why you chose that particular university and course for your study abroad . 
• Explain the relation between your aspirations and the course you have chosen. 
• Write about how you are aware of what the course consists of, and if there is any specific subject you are interested in learning.  
• Give an idea about the type of person you are – Mention any leadership roles, interests, hobbies, extracurricular activities and more. 
• Write your skills and how you learned them. For example – “Playing chess for my college made me develop problem-solving skills”.  
• Make sure you write a strong conclusion. 

Qualities of a good personal statement 

The boon and bane of personal statement is that there is no set structure of writing a personal statement. While you are free to write whatever you want, you also need to make sure it is perfect for you to get admission. There are some qualities that make a personal statement stand out from the crowd. Read them below: 

• Highlights your core values: The personal statement must highlight the values, beliefs, and factors like what motivates you, what excites you, and so on. This can be any personal attribute or interest, such as beauty, humor, autonomy and more. Add instances or write in ways so that the officials can detect at least 4-5 of your core values. 
• Vulnerability: The admission officers often like it when they feel like they know you. You must write a personal statement which is vulnerable and brings you closer to the admission officials. Here, the only thing you need to keep in mind is that you are a human, you will also make mistakes and that’s okay. Be honest about what scares you, challenges you, or even bothers you. It is okay to let your guard down sometimes, remember that! 
• Use Active Voice: By using Active Voice in your personal statement, you will be able to explain your accomplishments better. It will also engage the reader in your personal statement and keep them interested.  
• Uniqueness: It is very important for your personal statement to be unique to you. Make sure you add something that will be different from the crowd. Everyone will write that they are hardworking and dedicated but look for something more to add to your statement.  
• Proofread: Once you have completed your personal statement, read it once, twice and even thrice. We are humans, and we often make mistakes while writing. However, these small mistakes can take a wrong toll on your personal statement, so make sure you submit a personal statement which has no mistakes. Things to check while proofreading your statement are spelling, grammar, relevancy, specificity, clear phrasing, lay-man language, and more. 

What do the admission officials look for?  

We all often wonder what exactly the admission officials look for. Since there is no set structure for personal statements, it gets confusing to understand what to write. Given below are some points that the admission officials look for: 

• Motivation 
• Commitment 
• Teamwork 
• Good Communication 
• Leadership 
• Research (in your field) 
• Relevant Skills 

Conclusion  

Studying abroad and experiencing an exciting student life in a new country is always fun. However, the process of getting into your dream university is often overwhelming, especially when you need to write a personal statement. The above information given highlights some of the best tips on writing a personal statement. Try these tips given above, and if you still feel confused, you can always seek help from an organization that provides personal statement writing service. All the best! 

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What Is a Personal Statement? Everything You Need to Know About the College Essay

College Admissions , College Essays

In addition to standardized test scores and transcripts, a personal statement or essay is a required part of many college applications. The personal statement can be one of the most stressful parts of the application process because it's the most open ended.

In this guide, I'll answer the question, "What is a personal statement?" I'll talk through common college essay topics and what makes for an effective personal statement.

College Essay Glossary

Even the terminology can be confusing if you aren't familiar with it, so let's start by defining some terms:

Personal statement —an essay you write to show a college admissions committee who you are and why you deserve to be admitted to their school. It's worth noting that, unlike "college essay," this term is used for application essays for graduate school as well.

College essay —basically the same as a personal statement (I'll be using the terms interchangeably).

Essay prompt —a question or statement that your college essay is meant to respond to.

Supplemental essay —an extra school or program-specific essay beyond the basic personal statement.

Many colleges ask for only one essay. However, some schools do ask you to respond to multiple prompts or to provide supplemental essays in addition to a primary personal statement.

Either way, don't let it stress you out! This guide will cover everything you need to know about the different types of college essays and get you started thinking about how to write a great one:

• Why colleges ask for an essay
• What kinds of essay questions you'll see
• What sets great essays apart
• Tips for writing your own essay

Why Do Colleges Ask For an Essay?

There are a couple of reasons that colleges ask applicants to submit an essay, but the basic idea is that it gives them more information about you, especially who you are beyond grades and test scores.

#1: Insight Into Your Personality

The most important role of the essay is to give admissions committees a sense of your personality and what kind of addition you'd be to their school's community . Are you inquisitive? Ambitious? Caring? These kinds of qualities will have a profound impact on your college experience, but they're hard to determine based on a high school transcript.

Basically, the essay contextualizes your application and shows what kind of person you are outside of your grades and test scores . Imagine two students, Jane and Tim: they both have 3.5 GPAs and 1200s on the SAT. Jane lives in Colorado and is the captain of her track team; Tim lives in Vermont and regularly contributes to the school paper. They both want to be doctors, and they both volunteer at the local hospital.

As similar as Jane and Tim seem on paper, in reality, they're actually quite different, and their unique perspectives come through in their essays. Jane writes about how looking into her family history for a school project made her realize how the discovery of modern medical treatments like antibiotics and vaccines had changed the world and drove her to pursue a career as a medical researcher. Tim, meanwhile, recounts a story about how a kind doctor helped him overcome his fear of needles, an interaction that reminded him of the value of empathy and inspired him to become a family practitioner. These two students may seem outwardly similar but their motivations and personalities are very different.

Without an essay, your application is essentially a series of numbers: a GPA, SAT scores, the number of hours spent preparing for quiz bowl competitions. The personal statement is your chance to stand out as an individual.

#2: Evidence of Writing Skills

A secondary purpose of the essay is to serve as a writing sample and help colleges see that you have the skills needed to succeed in college classes. The personal statement is your best chance to show off your writing , so take the time to craft a piece you're really proud of.

That said, don't panic if you aren't a strong writer. Admissions officers aren't expecting you to write like Joan Didion; they just want to see that you can express your ideas clearly.

No matter what, your essay should absolutely not include any errors or typos .

#3: Explanation of Extenuating Circumstances

For some students, the essay is also a chance to explain factors affecting their high school record. Did your grades drop sophomore year because you were dealing with a family emergency? Did you miss out on extracurriculars junior year because of an extended medical absence? Colleges want to know if you struggled with a serious issue that affected your high school record , so make sure to indicate any relevant circumstances on your application.

Keep in mind that in some cases there will be a separate section for you to address these types of issues, as well as any black marks on your record like expulsions or criminal charges.

#4: Your Reasons for Applying to the School

Many colleges ask you to write an essay or paragraph about why you're applying to their school specifically . In asking these questions, admissions officers are trying to determine if you're genuinely excited about the school and whether you're likely to attend if accepted .

I'll talk more about this type of essay below.

What Kind of Questions Do Colleges Ask?

Thankfully, applications don't simply say, "Please include an essay about yourself"; they include a question or prompt that you're asked to respond to . These prompts are generally pretty open-ended and can be approached in a lot of different ways .

Nonetheless, most questions fall into a few main categories. Let's go through each common type of prompt, with examples from the Common Application, the University of California application, and a few individual schools.

Prompt Type 1: Your Personal History

This sort of question asks you to write about a formative experience, important event, or key relationship from your life . Admissions officers want to understand what is important to you and how your background has shaped you as a person.

These questions are both common and tricky. The most common pit students fall into is trying to tell their entire life stories. It's better to focus in on a very specific point in time and explain why it was meaningful to you.

Common App 1

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Common App 5

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

University of California 2

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

University of California 6

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Prompt Type 2: Facing a Problem

A lot of prompts deal with how you solve problems, how you cope with failure, and how you respond to conflict. College can be difficult, both personally and academically, and admissions committees want to see that you're equipped to face those challenges .

The key to these types of questions is to identify a real problem, failure, or conflict ( not a success in disguise) and show how you adapted and grew from addressing the issue.

Common App 2

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Harvard University 7

The Harvard College Honor Code declares that we “hold honesty as the foundation of our community.” As you consider entering this community that is committed to honesty, please reflect on a time when you or someone you observed had to make a choice about whether to act with integrity and honesty.

Prompt Type 3: Diversity

Most colleges are pretty diverse, with students from a wide range of backgrounds. Essay questions about diversity are designed to help admissions committees understand how you interact with people who are different from you .

In addressing these prompts, you want to show that you're capable of engaging with new ideas and relating to people who may have different beliefs than you.

Common App 3

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Johns Hopkins University

Tell us about an aspect of your identity (e.g., race, gender, sexuality, religion, community) or a life experience that has shaped you as an individual and how that influenced what you’d like to pursue in college at Hopkins.  This can be a future goal or experience that is either [sic] academic, extracurricular, or social.

Duke University Optional 1

We believe a wide range of personal perspectives, beliefs, and lived experiences are essential to making Duke a vibrant and meaningful living and learning community. Feel free to share with us anything in this context that might help us better understand you and what you might bring to our community. 

Prompt Type 4: Your Future Goals

This type of prompt asks about what you want to do in the future: sometimes simply what you'd like to study, sometimes longer-term career goals. Colleges want to understand what you're interested in and how you plan to work towards your goals.

You'll mostly see these prompts if you're applying for a specialized program (like pre-med or engineering) or applying as a transfer student. Some schools also ask for supplementary essays along these lines. 

University of Southern California (Architecture)

Princeton Supplement 1

Prompt Type 5: Why This School

The most common style of supplemental essay is the "why us?" essay, although a few schools with their own application use this type of question as their main prompt. In these essays, you're meant to address the specific reasons you want to go to the school you're applying to .

Whatever you do, don't ever recycle these essays for more than one school.

Chapman University

There are thousands of universities and colleges. Why are you interested in attending Chapman?

Columbia University

Why are you interested in attending Columbia University? We encourage you to consider the aspect(s) that you find unique and compelling about Columbia.

Rice University

Based upon your exploration of Rice University, what elements of the Rice experience appeal to you?

Princeton University

Princeton has a longstanding commitment to understanding our responsibility to society through service and civic engagement. How does your own story intersect with these ideals?

Prompt Type 6: Creative Prompts

More selective schools often have supplemental essays with stranger or more unique questions. University of Chicago is notorious for its weird prompts, but it's not the only school that will ask you to think outside the box in addressing its questions.

University of Chicago

“Vlog,” “Labradoodle,” and “Fauxmage.” Language is filled with portmanteaus. Create a new portmanteau and explain why those two things are a “patch” (perfect match).

University of Vermont

Established in Burlington, VT, Ben & Jerry’s is synonymous with both ice cream and social change. The “Save Our Swirled” flavor raises awareness of climate change, and “I Dough, I Dough” celebrates marriage equality. If you worked alongside Ben & Jerry, what charitable flavor would you develop and why?

What Makes a Strong Personal Statement?

OK , so you're clear on what a college essay is, but you're still not sure how to write a good one . To help you get started, I'm going to explain the main things admissions officers look for in students' essays: an engaging perspective, genuine moments, and lively writing .

I've touched on these ideas already, but here, I'll go into more depth about how the best essays stand out from the pack.

Showing Who You Are

A lot of students panic about finding a unique topic, and certainly writing about something unusual like a successful dating app you developed with your friends or your time working as a mall Santa can't hurt you. But what's really important isn't so much what you write about as how you write about it . You need to use your subject to show something deeper about yourself.

Look at the prompts above: you'll notice that they almost all ask you what you learned or how the experience affected you. Whatever topic you pick, you must be able to specifically address how or why it matters to you .

Say a student, Will, was writing about the mall Santa in response to Common App prompt number 2 (the one about failure): Will was a terrible mall Santa. He was way too skinny to be convincing and the kids would always step on his feet. He could easily write 600 very entertaining words describing this experience, but they wouldn't necessarily add up to an effective college essay.

To do that, he'll need to talk about his motivations and his feelings: why he took such a job in the first place and what he did (and didn't) get out of it. Maybe Will took the job because he needed to make some money to go on a school trip and it was the only one he could find. Despite his lack of enthusiasm for screaming children, he kept doing it because he knew if he persevered through the whole holiday season he would have enough money for his trip. Would you rather read "I failed at being a mall Santa" or "Failing as a mall Santa taught me how to persevere no matter what"? Admissions officers definitely prefer the latter.

Ultimately, the best topics are ones that allow you to explain something surprising about yourself .

Since the main point of the essay is to give schools a sense of who you are, you have to open up enough to let them see your personality . Writing a good college essay means being honest about your feelings and experiences even when they aren't entirely positive.

In this context, honesty doesn't mean going on at length about the time you broke into the local pool at night and nearly got arrested, but it does mean acknowledging when something was difficult or upsetting for you. Think about the mall Santa example above. The essay won't work unless the writer genuinely acknowledges that he was a bad Santa and explains why.

Eloquent Writing

As I mentioned above, colleges want to know that you are a strong enough writer to survive in college classes . Can you express your ideas clearly and concisely? Can you employ specific details appropriately and avoid clichés and generalizations? These kinds of skills will serve you well in college (and in life!).

Nonetheless, admissions officers recognize that different students have different strengths. They aren't looking for a poetic magnum opus from someone who wants to be a math major. (Honestly, they aren't expecting a masterwork from anyone , but the basic point stands.) Focus on making sure that your thoughts and personality come through, and don't worry about using fancy vocabulary or complex rhetorical devices.

Above all, make sure that you have zero grammar or spelling errors . Typos indicate carelessness, which will hurt your cause with admissions officers.

Top Five Essay-Writing Tips

Now that you have a sense of what colleges are looking for, let's talk about how you can put this new knowledge into practice as you approach your own essay. Below, I've collected my five best tips from years as a college essay counselor.

#1: Start Early!

No matter how much you want to avoid writing your essay, don't leave it until the last minute . One of the most important parts of the essay writing process is editing, and editing takes a lot of time. You want to be able to put your draft in a drawer for a week and come back to it with fresh eyes. You don't want to be stuck with an essay you don't really like because you have to submit your application tomorrow.

You need plenty of time to experiment and rewrite, so I would recommend starting your essays at least two months before the application deadline . For most students, that means starting around Halloween, but if you're applying early, you'll need to get going closer to Labor Day.

Of course, it's even better to get a head start and begin your planning earlier. Many students like to work on their essays over the summer, when they have more free time, but you should keep in mind that each year's application isn't usually released until August or September. Essay questions often stay the same from year to year, however. If you are looking to get a jump on writing, you can try to confirm with the school (or the Common App) whether the essay questions will be the same as the previous year's.

#2: Pick a Topic You're Genuinely Excited About

One of the biggest mistakes students make is trying to write what they think the committee wants to hear. The truth is that there's no "right answer" when it comes to college essays . T he best topics aren't limited to specific categories like volunteer experiences or winning a tournament. Instead, they're topics that actually matter to the writer .

"OK," you're thinking, "but what does she mean by 'a topic that matters to you'? Because to be perfectly honest, right now, what really matters to me is that fall TV starts up this week, and I have a feeling I shouldn't write about that."

You're not wrong (although some great essays have been written about television ). A great topic isn't just something that you're excited about or that you talk to your friends about; it's something that has had a real, describable effect on your perspective .

This doesn't mean that you should overemphasize how something absolutely changed your life , especially if it really didn't. Instead, try to be as specific and honest as you can about how the experience affected you, what it taught you, or what you got out of it.

Let's go back to the TV idea. Sure, writing an essay about how excited you are for the new season of Stranger Things  probably isn't the quickest way to get yourself into college, but you could write a solid essay (in response to the first type of prompt) about how SpongeBob SquarePants was an integral part of your childhood. However, it's not enough to just explain how much you loved SpongeBob—you must also explain why and how watching the show every day after school affected your life. For example, maybe it was a ritual you shared with your brother, which showed you how even seemingly silly pieces of pop culture can bring people together. Dig beneath the surface to show who you are and how you see the world.

When you write about something you don't really care about, your writing will come out clichéd and uninteresting, and you'll likely struggle to motivate yourself. When you instead write about something that is genuinely important to you, you can make even the most ordinary experiences—learning to swim, eating a meal, or watching TV—engaging .

#3: Focus on Specifics

But how do you write an interesting essay? Focus.

Don't try to tell your entire life story or even the story of an entire weekend; 500–650 words may seem like a lot, but you'll reach that limit quickly if you try to pack every single thing that has happened to you into your essay. If, however, you just touch on a wide range of topics, you'll end up with an essay that reads more like a résumé.

Instead, narrow in on one specific event or idea, and talk about it in more depth . The narrower your topic, the better. For example, writing about your role as Mercutio in your school's production of Romeo and Juliet is too general, but writing about opening night, when everything went wrong, could be a great topic.

Whatever your topic, use details to help draw the reader in and express your unique perspective. But keep in mind that you don't have to include every detail of what you did or thought; stick to the important and illustrative ones.

#4: Use Your Own Voice

College essays aren't academic assignments; you don't need to be super formal. Instead, try to be yourself. The best writing sounds like a more eloquent version of the way you talk .

Focus on using clear, simple language that effectively explains a point or evokes a feeling. To do so, avoid the urge to use fancy-sounding synonyms when you don't really know what they mean. Contractions are fine; slang, generally, is not. Don't hesitate to write in the first person.

A final note: you don't need to be relentlessly positive. It's OK to acknowledge that sometimes things don't go how you want—just show how you grew from that.

#5: Be Ruthless

Many students want to call it a day after writing a first draft, but editing is a key part of writing a truly great essay. To be clear, editing doesn't mean just making a few minor wording tweaks and cleaning up typos; it means reading your essay carefully and objectively and thinking about how you could improve it .

Ask yourself questions as you read: is the progression of the essay clear? Do you make a lot of vague, sweeping statements that could be replaced with more interesting specifics? Do your sentences flow together nicely? Do you show something about yourself beyond the surface level?

You will have to delete and rewrite (potentially large) parts of your essay, and no matter how attached you feel to something you wrote, you might have to let it go . If you've ever heard the phrase "kill your darlings," know that it is 100% applicable to college essay writing.

At some point, you might even need to rewrite the whole essay. Even though it's annoying, starting over is sometimes the best way to get an essay that you're really proud of.

What's Next?

Make sure to check out our other posts on college essays , including our step-by-step guide to how to write your college essay , our analysis of the Common App Prompts , and our collection of example essays .

If you're in need of guidance on other parts of the application process , take a look at our guides to choosing the right college for you , writing about extracurriculars , deciding to double major , and requesting teacher recommendations .

Last but not least, if you're planning on taking the SAT one last time , check out our ultimate guide to studying for the SAT and make sure you're as prepared as possible.

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Alex is an experienced tutor and writer. Over the past five years, she has worked with almost a hundred students and written about pop culture for a wide range of publications. She graduated with honors from University of Chicago, receiving a BA in English and Anthropology, and then went on to earn an MA at NYU in Cultural Reporting and Criticism. In high school, she was a National Merit Scholar, took 12 AP tests and scored 99 percentile scores on the SAT and ACT.

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How to Write a Winning Private School Personal Statement

The personal statement is one of the most crucial components of a private high school application. It’s your chance to showcase who you are beyond grades and test scores and to make a compelling case for why you would be an excellent fit for the school. Crafting a winning personal statement takes time, reflection, and careful writing. Here’s how to create a standout essay that captures the attention of admissions committees.

Understand the Purpose of the Personal Statement

Before you begin writing, it’s important to understand why the personal statement is so significant. Admissions committees use it to:

• Get to Know You: Your personal statement provides insights into your personality, values, and interests.
• Evaluate Your Writing Skills: Schools look for students who can express themselves clearly and thoughtfully in writing.
• Assess Fit: The statement helps admission teams determine whether you’ll thrive in their academic and social environment.

With these goals in mind, your personal statement should reflect your authentic self and demonstrate why you’re a strong candidate for the school.

Reflect on Your Experiences and Goals

Before you start writing, take some time to reflect on your experiences, goals, personal growth, and values. Consider the following questions:

• What Are Your Strengths? Think about your academic achievements, leadership roles, and talents. What makes you unique?
• What Are Your Passions? What subjects, activities, or causes are you most passionate about? How have you pursued these interests? What extracurricular activities are you involved in?
• What Have You Learned? Reflect on challenges you’ve faced and how they’ve shaped you. What lessons have you learned from your experiences?
• Why This School? Why are you applying to this particular school? What do you hope to gain from attending, and what can you contribute to the school community?

Jot down your thoughts in response to these questions. This brainstorming process will help you identify the key themes and stories you want to include in your personal statement.

Craft a Compelling Narrative

A winning personal statement tells a story. Rather than listing your achievements or interests, weave them into a narrative that highlights your growth, challenges, and aspirations. Here’s how to do it:

• Start with a Hook: Begin your statement with an engaging introduction that draws the reader in. You could start with a personal anecdote, a question, or a powerful statement that relates to your main theme.
• Show, Don’t Just Tell: Use specific examples to illustrate your points. Instead of saying, “I am passionate about science,” describe a project or experience that sparked your interest in science and how it influenced you.
• Be Authentic: Write in your voice, and be honest about your experiences. Admissions officers can tell when a student is being genuine, so focus on what matters to you rather than what you think they want to hear.
• Highlight Your Fit: Make connections between your experiences and the school’s values or programs. Explain why you’re excited about what the school offers and how you can contribute to its community.

Structure Your Statement Effectively

A well-organized personal statement is easier to read and more impactful. Here’s a basic structure you can follow:

• Introduction: Start with a strong opening that introduces the main theme of your statement. This could be an experience, a passion, or a challenge that has shaped you.
• Body Paragraphs: Develop your narrative in two or three body paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of your story, such as an achievement, a learning experience, or your future goals.
• Conclusion: End with a conclusion that ties everything together and reinforces why you’re excited about the opportunity to attend the school. This is also a good place to briefly mention what you hope to accomplish during your time at the school.

Revise, Edit, and Proofread

Writing a winning personal statement is a process that involves multiple drafts. After you’ve written your first draft, take the time to revise and refine it. Here’s how to polish your essay:

• Get Feedback: Ask a trusted teacher, mentor, or admissions consultant to review your statement. They can provide valuable insights and help you identify areas for improvement.
• Focus on Clarity and Precision: Make sure your ideas are clearly expressed and that your writing is concise. Avoid unnecessary jargon and overly complex sentences.
• Proofread for Errors: Spelling and grammar mistakes can distract from your message and make a negative impression. Carefully proofread your statement, and consider reading it out loud to catch any awkward phrasing or errors.

Avoid Common Pitfalls

When writing your personal statement, be mindful of these common mistakes:

• Clichés: Phrases like “I want to make a difference” or “I’ve always been passionate about learning” are overused and don’t add much value. Instead, focus on specific examples that illustrate your points.
• Overemphasis on Achievements: While it’s important to highlight your accomplishments, don’t just list them. Instead, focus on what you’ve learned from these experiences and how they’ve shaped your character.
• Lack of Personalization: Avoid writing a generic statement that could apply to any school. Tailor your essay to the specific school you’re applying to by referencing its programs, values, and community.

Final Thoughts

A winning personal statement is a powerful tool that can make a significant difference in your private school application. By reflecting on your experiences, crafting a compelling narrative, and revising your essay carefully, you can create a statement that not only showcases your strengths but also demonstrates why you’re the perfect fit for the school.

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Personal Statement Examples That Show Your Colors

A personal statement is a window into your character, offering a glimpse of your personality, your values, and your vision. By writing one, you can tell your unique story in your own voice, and make a lasting impression that will linger in the minds of those who read it.

In this article, we're providing examples of personal statements that will inspire you and give you a sense of what makes a strong application. With these templates as a guide, you'll feel more confident in your ability to get into top graduate schools. And if you ever need paper help , our service has got your back.

What is a Personal Statement

A personal statement is a narrative that provides insight into who you are as an individual, what drives you, and how your experiences have shaped your goals. Whether you're applying to a university, seeking a scholarship, or vying for a residency spot, your personal statement serves as a key element of your application that can set you apart from other candidates.

At its core, it is your opportunity to communicate your story in a way that resonates with the reader. It lets you go beyond grades and test scores to reveal the motivations, challenges, and passions that define you.

Personal statements often follow prompts or guidelines provided by the institution or organization to which you're applying. However, the most impactful statements are those that creatively respond to these prompts while still maintaining a strong, coherent narrative that ties your past experiences to your future goals.

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The List of Personal Statement Examples

Below is a collection of unique personal statements, each designed to stand out with memorable themes and specific narratives that break away from the ordinary. These examples prepared by our personal statement writing services highlight how to turn your experiences, challenges, and passions into compelling stories that capture the essence of your journey and the vision for your future.

Personal Mission Statement Examples

Title: Building Bridges with Words

My mission is to build bridges—not of steel or stone, but of words, ideas, and connections that bring people together in meaningful ways. I believe that every conversation, every piece of writing, and every interaction is an opportunity to create understanding where there was once division, to spark curiosity where there was once indifference.

From a young age, I've been captivated by the power of language. I saw how a well-crafted sentence could change a mind, how a simple word of encouragement could lift someone's spirit. But I also witnessed how words could be used to hurt, to divide, and to isolate. This duality fueled my desire to harness language for good, to use it as a tool for connection rather than a weapon for division.

In my work, I strive to be a connector—a person who can bring diverse perspectives together, who can translate complex ideas into accessible concepts, and who can find common ground even in the most polarized conversations. I see every challenge as an opportunity to build another bridge, to link people across cultural, ideological, or experiential divides.

My mission extends beyond my professional life. In my personal interactions, I aim to listen deeply, to speak thoughtfully, and to approach every conversation with empathy and openness. I believe that by understanding others, we can better understand ourselves and the world around us.

I am committed to lifelong learning, recognizing that each day brings new opportunities to grow, to learn, and to build more bridges. My mission is not just to achieve personal success but to create a legacy of connection, where the words I choose and the actions I take bring people closer together, fostering a world where understanding, compassion, and unity are the foundation of every bridge we build.

Law School Personal Statement Examples

Title: A Passion for Justice: My Journey to Law School

Growing up in a small town where the law was often seen as distant and impersonal, I witnessed firsthand the devastating consequences of legal injustices. My grandmother, a hardworking immigrant, faced years of discrimination and exploitation in her workplace. Despite her tireless efforts, she was unable to find justice through the legal system. It was this experience that ignited my passion for law and my determination to become a force for positive change.

During my undergraduate studies, I delved deep into legal theory and history, exploring the ways in which the law has been used to uphold and challenge social hierarchies. I was particularly drawn to the intersection of law and social justice, recognizing the power of the legal system to address systemic inequalities.

One summer, I had the opportunity to intern at a public interest law firm specializing in immigration law. There, I worked closely with clients who faced deportation and separation from their families. I learned the immense stress and uncertainty that these individuals endured, and I witnessed the transformative impact that legal representation could have on their lives.

Through my experiences, I have developed a strong commitment to using the law as a tool for social justice. I believe that lawyers have a unique responsibility to advocate for the marginalized and to challenge unjust systems. I am eager to pursue a legal career that will allow me to make a meaningful difference in the lives of others.

I am confident that my academic background, combined with my personal experiences, has prepared me to excel in law school. I am eager to contribute to a diverse and intellectually stimulating learning environment, and I am committed to using my legal education to create a more just and equitable society.

Medical School Personal Statement Examples

If you're seeking exceptional med school personal statement examples, the following template can serve as a valuable starting point.

Title: A Needle's Purpose

The sting of the hypodermic needle, a sensation I've come to know intimately. Not as a patient, but as a volunteer at the local clinic. It's a sensation that simultaneously elicits a pang of fear and a surge of purpose. I recall a particular afternoon when a young boy, no older than ten, was brought in with a severe asthma attack. His wheezing was labored, his eyes wide with terror. As the attending physician administered a nebulizer treatment, I watched, my heart pounding in my chest. When the boy's breathing finally steadied, a sense of relief washed over me. In that moment, I knew that medicine was my calling.

Beyond the clinical setting, I've also had the opportunity to explore the intersection of healthcare and public policy. As a research assistant on a project studying the impact of healthcare reform in my region, I gained a deeper understanding of the systemic challenges facing our healthcare system. This experience has fueled my desire to become a physician who is not only skilled in patient care but also committed to advocating for equitable access to healthcare for all.

My experiences have taught me that medicine is more than just treating diseases; it's about caring for individuals and communities. I am drawn to the challenge of applying my scientific knowledge and clinical skills to improve the lives of others. I am eager to contribute to the medical field and to make a lasting impact on the health and well-being of my patients.

If this template hits the right note, our medical school personal statement editing services are ready to fine-tune it for you!

Personal Statement for Graduate School Examples

Title: From Failure to Fuel

"Failure is not the opposite of success; it's the catalyst that has driven my most significant achievements."

As a psychology undergraduate, I faced a daunting challenge: a research project that yielded unexpected, disappointing results. Initially, I viewed this outcome as a failure, a blemish on my academic record. However, through reflection and guidance from my mentor, I realized that the very unpredictability of research is its greatest strength. This experience sparked an intense curiosity in me, leading to a deeper understanding of the complexities of human behavior and the importance of resilience in the face of adversity.

Rather than shying away from this challenge, I embraced it, using the opportunity to develop a more nuanced approach to research. I delved into advanced statistical methods and honed my ability to think critically about data that didn't conform to expectations. This experience taught me that research is not about finding easy answers but about asking better questions, even when the answers are elusive.

This perspective has shaped my academic journey and fuels my desire to pursue graduate studies. I see my perceived weakness—initially feeling overwhelmed by unexpected results—as a critical strength. It has made me more adaptable, resourceful, and committed to pushing the boundaries of knowledge.

I am eager to bring this mindset to your graduate program, where I can contribute to and learn from a community of scholars who share my passion for psychology. My journey has been defined not by easy successes but by the challenges I've embraced and the growth they've spurred. I am ready to take the next step, confident that my ability to turn setbacks into opportunities will serve me well in the rigorous, rewarding environment of graduate study.

If one of these templates catches your eye, feel free to buy a personal statement that's made-to-measure just for you!

Personal Vision Statement Examples

Title: In the Space Between Notes

My life's symphony is composed in the spaces between the notes. In music, the rests are as crucial as the melody, defining the rhythm, the pace, and the emotional impact of the piece. I see my life's journey much the same way—not just in the actions I take, but in the pauses, the reflections, and the moments of stillness that allow me to hear the music more clearly.

In the past, I used to focus solely on the crescendo—the big achievements, the high points. I believed that life was a series of grand performances where only the loudest, most spectacular notes mattered. But as I grew, I began to understand that the true beauty of a symphony lies in its balance, in the harmony between sound and silence.

I envision my future as one where I create not just a career, but a life that resonates with this balance. My goal is to become a leader in my field, not by rushing from one achievement to the next, but by being thoughtful in my actions, intentional in my decisions, and open to the unexpected melodies that life offers. I want to lead with empathy, understanding that the quiet moments often speak the loudest, that listening is as powerful as speaking.

In my personal life, I aspire to cultivate deep, meaningful relationships, to be present in the moments that matter most, and to find joy in the simple, unplanned interludes. I seek to live with purpose, but also with grace, allowing myself the freedom to pause, to reflect, and to adapt as the music of my life changes.

Ultimately, my vision is to compose a life that is rich with meaning, where every note and every rest contributes to a harmonious whole. I aim to create a legacy that isn't just remembered for its achievements, but for the way it moved others, for the way it lingered in the spaces between.

Personal Statement Examples for College

The below narrative is one of our unique college personal statement examples you can use as inspiration.

Title: The Art of Folding Paper

I learned more about life from a sheet of paper than from any textbook. My fascination with origami started as a simple hobby, a way to pass the time on rainy afternoons. But as I folded my first crane, I realized I was doing more than just creating art; I was practicing patience, precision, and perseverance.

Origami is deceptively complex. A single wrong fold can distort the entire figure, but with each mistake, I discovered something new. I learned that a wrong fold doesn't mean the end—it's an opportunity to start again, to reshape the paper, and, often, to create something entirely unexpected and beautiful.

In high school, I brought my love for origami into the classroom, using it to explain complex concepts in physics and geometry to my classmates. A paper crane became a lesson in symmetry, a folded frog, an exploration of potential and kinetic energy. I even started an origami club, where we explored the intersection of art and science, creativity and logic. What began as a solitary pursuit transformed into a way to connect with others, to share ideas, and to look at problems from different angles.

Outside of school, origami helped me navigate the challenges of adolescence. When my parents divorced, folding paper became my refuge, a way to process emotions that words couldn't capture. Each fold was a step toward understanding, each completed figure a small triumph of order over chaos. It taught me that even in the most complicated situations, there's a way to create something meaningful if you're willing to keep folding, keep trying.

Now, as I look ahead to college, I see it as a blank sheet of paper—full of possibilities, ready to be shaped by the choices I make and the experiences I seek. I'm eager to bring my passion for both the arts and sciences to your campus, to fold my love for learning into every aspect of my education. Just as I've done with origami, I plan to explore the unexpected intersections, to create something unique and intricate from every opportunity.

In the end, a piece of paper, like life, can be anything you want it to be. It's all in how you fold it.

Residency Personal Statement Examples

Title: The Night I Decided to Stay

Residency wasn't always in the plan. In fact, the night I decided to stay in medicine, I had my resignation letter drafted. I was a third-year medical student, standing alone in a dimly lit hospital hallway, utterly drained from another 30-hour shift. The endless rotations had blurred into a monotonous routine of rounds, notes, and more rounds, and I began to question whether this was truly the life I wanted.

That night, I was assigned to the emergency department, where I met Mrs. Greene, a 67-year-old woman with a history of heart disease. She had collapsed at home and was brought in by ambulance, unconscious and unresponsive. Her family was frantic, desperate for answers I didn't have. As I followed my attending into the room, I felt a wave of anxiety. This wasn't a textbook case; it was a real person whose life hung in the balance.

The resuscitation was intense. I was there, chest compressions, adrenaline injections, the relentless rhythm of the defibrillator. As the team worked, I could see the fear in her daughter's eyes, and it struck me that this was about more than just a medical emergency. This was about a family in crisis, a life teetering on the edge.

After what felt like an eternity, Mrs. Greene's pulse returned. The attending physician calmly directed the team, and we stabilized her enough to move her to the ICU. As we wheeled her away, her daughter grabbed my hand and whispered, "Thank you." It was a simple phrase, but it cut through my exhaustion, through the doubts and the fatigue.

I didn't leave the hospital that night. Instead, I sat down with my resignation letter, re-read it, and then ripped it up. I realized that medicine wasn't just about the science or the protocols—it was about moments like this, moments when you're not just treating a condition, but caring for a person, when your presence and perseverance can mean the difference between despair and hope.

Residency will be grueling, I know that. But I also know that it's where I'm meant to be. The night I decided to stay was the night I realized that medicine isn't just a career; it's a calling. And I'm ready to answer it.

Common App Personal Statement Examples

Title: The Day I Became an Engineer

I became an engineer on a blistering summer afternoon, though I didn't know it at the time. I was eight years old, crouched over the engine of my father's old Ford truck, hands smeared with grease, staring intently at a mess of wires and bolts. The truck had died in the middle of nowhere, miles from home, and with no mechanic in sight, my father turned to me and said, "Let's figure this out."

There was no manual, no diagram, just a young girl and her father armed with determination and a rusty toolbox. The heat was relentless, but I was captivated. Together, we deciphered the puzzle of the engine, tracing wires, testing connections, and slowly piecing together how the machine worked. After hours of trial and error, a spark of understanding ignited within me. When the engine finally roared to life, I felt a surge of pride that was as much about solving the problem as it was about discovering my own potential.

That moment in the desert wasn't just about fixing a truck; it was the first time I understood the power of curiosity and persistence. The feeling of triumph in the face of uncertainty stayed with me, and it became a defining aspect of who I am. It's what led me to join the robotics team in high school, where I spent countless nights debugging code and reassembling circuits, chasing that same spark of understanding.

But engineering, I've come to realize, isn't just about building machines. It's about constructing solutions, piece by piece, for problems that seem unsolvable. Whether I'm designing a new prototype or figuring out how to balance equations in physics, I approach each challenge with the same mindset I had as that eight-year-old in the desert: Let's figure this out.

I'm applying to college not just to learn, but to continue building—ideas, innovations, and a future where no problem is too complex to tackle. I've been an engineer at heart since that sweltering afternoon, and I'm ready to take the next step, not with all the answers, but with the confidence that I can figure them out.

Personal Statement for University Examples

Title: Designing the In-Between

"I've always been fascinated by the spaces between—those fleeting moments when science meets art, where precision meets creativity."

Growing up, I was equally enthralled by the elegance of mathematical equations and the expressive power of a blank canvas. While most saw these as distinct, even opposing interests, I found a profound connection between them. Mathematics, with its rigid structure and logic, offered me a way to understand the world's complexities. Art, on the other hand, gave me the freedom to express the nuances that numbers alone couldn't capture.

In high school, this dual passion led me to an unlikely pairing: architecture. It was in drafting rooms and design studios that I discovered my true calling. Here, the geometric precision of calculus met the boundless creativity of artistic vision, and I found a space where I could truly thrive. Designing structures that were not only functional but also aesthetically compelling was more than a challenge; it was a thrilling pursuit that combined everything I loved.

My projects, often inspired by natural forms and abstract patterns, have taught me to see beyond the obvious, to push boundaries and explore unconventional solutions. In one project, I designed a library that mimicked the flow of water, using mathematical principles to create a space that was both serene and dynamic. This project was a turning point for me, solidifying my belief that the most innovative designs emerge when you allow different disciplines to inform each other.

I believe that the future of design lies in the spaces between—where art and science, creativity and precision, meet. I am ready to contribute my unique perspective and learn from a community that values innovation as much as I do. This program is not just a step in my academic journey; it's the place where I can turn my vision into reality.

Personal Statement for Scholarship Examples

Title: Language as a Bridge

As a child, I watched my parents meticulously fill in forms in a language they barely understood. They had immigrated to this country with dreams of a better life but lacked the resources to fully grasp the complexities of their new world. This experience ignited in me a passion for language—not just as a means of communication, but as a bridge to opportunity.

I began tutoring English as a second language in high school, working with students from diverse backgrounds who, like my parents, struggled with the nuances of a new language. Each session was more than just a lesson; it was an opportunity to empower someone else with the tools they needed to navigate and thrive in society. Through this work, I realized that language is power, and education is the key to unlocking it.

This passion for language led me to pursue a degree in linguistics, where I explored the intricacies of phonetics, syntax, and semantics. I became fascinated by the ways in which language shapes our perceptions and interactions. But I didn't stop at theory—I sought to apply my knowledge practically, volunteering in legal clinics to assist non-English-speaking immigrants with their cases. I translated, I advocated, and most importantly, I listened.

The scholarship I am applying for will enable me to continue this work, allowing me to pursue a graduate degree focused on language acquisition and policy. With this education, I plan to develop programs that not only teach language but also empower individuals to use their voices for change.

My journey has taught me that a blank page is not to be feared—it is a chance to create something meaningful. I am determined to turn every challenge into an opportunity for growth, not just for myself, but for those I am committed to helping. This scholarship would be the next step in my mission to ensure that language is a gateway, not a barrier, to a better life.

The Bottom Line

Remember, your personal statement should be unique to you. Don't try to imitate someone else's style or story. Be honest, be yourself, and let your passion shine through. With careful planning and thoughtful writing, you can create a statement that will help you stand out from the crowd. Meanwhile, check out our separate guide on how to write education on resume —you’ll need it to back up that stellar statement!

 Is Your Application Almost Complete?

All you need is a personal statement that will make you stand out. Let EssayPro's expert writers fill in the missing piece!

What is a Good Example of a Personal Statement?

How do you write a catchy personal statement, what is a good opening sentence for a personal statement.

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specializes in creating authoritative content on marketing, business, and finance, with a versatile ability to handle any essay type and dissertations. With a Master’s degree in Business Administration and a passion for social issues, her writing not only educates but also inspires action. On EssayPro blog, Annie delivers detailed guides and thought-provoking discussions on pressing economic and social topics. When not writing, she’s a guest speaker at various business seminars.

is an expert in nursing and healthcare, with a strong background in history, law, and literature. Holding advanced degrees in nursing and public health, his analytical approach and comprehensive knowledge help students navigate complex topics. On EssayPro blog, Adam provides insightful articles on everything from historical analysis to the intricacies of healthcare policies. In his downtime, he enjoys historical documentaries and volunteering at local clinics.

Personal statements - Career Services . (2024b, August 8). Career Services. - https://www.uwb.edu/career-services/resources/cover-letters/personal-statements

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Home » Career Advice » Professional Development » 3 Personal Statement Examples and Why They Work

3 Personal Statement Examples and Why They Work

A well-crafted personal statement can be the deciding factor in your application’s success. Admissions officers and hiring managers often sift through hundreds, if not thousands, of applications. Most applicants will have similar qualifications, so it’s your personal statement that can make you memorable. We’ll help you understand what makes a personal statement truly effective by showcasing three examples of personal statements that have worked well in different contexts.

A strong personal statement demonstrates not only your qualifications but also your passion and commitment. It shows that you’ve taken the time to reflect on your experiences and how they’ve shaped your goals. This reflection is key because it helps the reader understand your motivations and see how you’ll contribute to their institution or organization.

Moreover, a compelling personal statement helps you stand out from the crowd. It’s your chance to showcase your unique perspective, which can be especially important in fields that value creativity, leadership, or social impact. When written well, your personal statement can give you an edge, helping you rise above other applicants who may have similar grades, test scores, or work experience.

By the end of this post, you’ll have a clearer idea of how to approach your personal statement writing, what to include, and how to structure it for maximum impact.

You might also want to read:

• How to Write a Personal Statement for a University (with Example)
• The Dos and Don’ts of Personal Statement Writing
• How to Write an Excellent Personal Statement

Example 1: The career-driven personal statement

Our first personal statement example comes from an applicant applying to medical school. Their goal is to become a physician specializing in pediatric care. Below is their personal statement example:

“From a young age, I have been fascinated by the complexity of the human body and motivated by a deep desire to help others. This passion guided me towards a degree in biology, where I excelled in courses such as anatomy, physiology, and biochemistry. These subjects deepened my understanding of how the body functions, but it was my experiences outside the classroom that truly solidified my decision to pursue a career in medicine.

During my time as a volunteer at a children’s hospital, I had the privilege of working closely with children facing serious health challenges. This experience profoundly impacted me, as I witnessed firsthand the resilience of these young patients and the vital role that compassionate, knowledgeable care plays in their recovery. It was here that I realized the profound difference a dedicated pediatrician can make in the lives of both the patients and their families.

I am committed to providing that level of care throughout my career. My volunteer work taught me that medicine is not just about diagnosing and treating diseases; it’s about understanding each patient as an individual, recognizing their unique needs, and offering care that addresses both their physical and emotional well-being. I am eager to bring this holistic approach to my future practice as a pediatrician, where I hope to make a meaningful difference in the lives of children and their families. With a strong foundation in the sciences and a deep commitment to compassionate care, I am excited to take the next step toward my goal of becoming a physician.”

Breakdown of why it works

Clarity of purpose

This personal statement example is effective because the applicant clearly communicates their passion for medicine and their long-term goal of becoming a pediatrician. The reader immediately understands what drives this individual and how their experiences have shaped their career aspirations. The applicant’s purpose is evident from the start, and they maintain this focus throughout the statement, making it easy for the reader to follow their narrative.

Use of specific examples

The applicant strengthens their statement by including specific examples, such as their volunteer work at a children’s hospital. These examples not only demonstrate their commitment to the field but also provide concrete evidence of their qualifications and dedication. By highlighting particular experiences, the applicant shows that they have thoughtfully considered their career path and are well-prepared for the challenges ahead.

Professional tone and language

The tone of this personal statement strikes a balance between professionalism and authenticity. The language is formal enough to convey seriousness and respect for the application process, yet personal enough to reveal the applicant’s genuine passion for medicine. This combination helps build trust with the reader, as it shows that the applicant is both competent and sincerely committed to their chosen field.

Key takeaways

• Align your past experiences with your future goals in a clear, focused manner.
• Articulate your purpose and back it up with specific examples for a stronger impact.
• Maintain a professional tone that still reflects your personal passion.
• Craft a compelling personal statement that effectively showcases your strengths and aspirations.

Example 2: The personal growth narrative

“Growing up in a small town with limited resources, I often felt like my dreams were too big for my circumstances. My parents worked tirelessly to provide for our family, but despite their efforts, we struggled to make ends meet. As the oldest of three siblings, I assumed responsibilities at a young age, helping to care for my brothers while balancing school and part-time jobs. These experiences taught me resilience, time management, and the value of hard work. They also fueled my determination to pursue higher education.

Throughout high school, I dedicated myself to my studies, striving to excel academically while remaining active in my community. Volunteering at the local community center, where I mentor younger students facing similar challenges, has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. It serves as a constant reminder of where I come from and reinforces my commitment to achieving my goals. Mentoring these students has also deepened my understanding of the struggles many in our community face, and it motivates me to work even harder to break the cycle of poverty that has affected my family and others like us.

I am eager to continue my education and use it as a tool not only to better my own life but to make a lasting impact on my community. I believe that by earning a college degree, I can open doors that were previously closed to me and help others realize that their dreams are within reach, no matter their background. This scholarship would allow me to focus on my studies without the constant worry of financial strain, enabling me to fully dedicate myself to achieving my academic and personal goals.”

Engaging storytelling

This personal statement stands out because the applicant uses a narrative style that draws the reader in from the beginning. The story of their upbringing and the challenges they faced is compelling and relatable, making the reader want to know more about their journey. The applicant effectively uses their personal story to showcase their growth, highlighting how they overcame adversity through resilience and determination. By framing their experiences as a narrative, the applicant not only captures the reader’s attention but also makes their application memorable.

Emotional connection

The personal nature of this story creates a strong emotional connection with the reader. The applicant’s honesty about their struggles and their role within their family invites the reader to empathize with their situation. By sharing their vulnerabilities and the challenges they’ve overcome, the applicant demonstrates a level of honesty that resonates on a deeper level. This emotional connection is crucial because it helps the reader see the applicant as more than just a list of achievements; it allows them to understand the applicant’s motivations and the impact they aim to make in the future.

Demonstration of self-awareness

The applicant’s ability to reflect on their experiences and articulate the lessons they’ve learned shows a high level of self-awareness. They don’t just list their hardships; they analyze how these experiences have shaped their character, work ethic, and ambitions. This reflection reveals maturity and insightfulness, qualities that are highly valued by scholarship committees. The applicant’s understanding of how their past influences their future goals adds depth to their personal statement, making it clear that they are driven by a purpose beyond personal success—they want to uplift others who face similar challenges.

• Utilize the power of storytelling, emotional authenticity, and self-awareness to make your personal statement memorable.
• Share a personal story that highlights growth and resilience to engage your reader and create a lasting impression.
• Be honest about your challenges and reflect on the lessons learned to build an emotional connection and showcase maturity.
• Demonstrate your readiness for opportunities by connecting your unique experiences to your future aspirations.
• Consider how your experiences have shaped who you are today and how they align with your goals when writing your personal statement.

Example 3: The academic-focused personal statement

Our final example comes from an applicant applying for a research grant to pursue a Master’s degree in Environmental Science.

“My passion for environmental science began during my undergraduate studies in biology, where I was introduced to the intricate challenges posed by climate change. This initial interest evolved into a deep commitment during a summer research internship at the XYZ Environmental Research Institute. There, I conducted a study on the impact of rising temperatures on local ecosystems, focusing on the changes in species distribution and habitat health. This experience not only sharpened my research skills—such as data analysis, fieldwork, and report writing—but also ignited my desire to use scientific inquiry as a tool to tackle pressing global environmental issues.

In addition to my research experience, I have become increasingly interested in how scientific findings can be translated into effective environmental policies. My senior thesis, which explored the effects of urbanization on local biodiversity, allowed me to delve deeper into this intersection of science and policy. Through this project, I analyzed how urban development disrupts ecosystems and proposed strategies for mitigating these impacts. This work further solidified my commitment to pursuing a career where I can contribute to evidence-based policy-making that addresses environmental challenges.

I am eager to continue my academic journey at ABC University, where I am particularly drawn to the opportunity to collaborate with leading researchers in environmental policy. The university’s strong focus on interdisciplinary approaches will allow me to explore the connections between science, policy, and societal impact and contribute to research that drives meaningful, positive change. This research grant will enable me to fully engage in this work, equipping me with the knowledge and skills necessary to make a significant contribution to the field of environmental science.”

Deep dive into academic interests

This personal statement example is successful because the applicant takes a deep dive into their academic interests and research. They clearly articulate their passion for environmental science and provide specific examples of how this passion has developed over time. By discussing their research experiences in detail, the applicant demonstrates a thorough understanding of the subject matter and a commitment to advancing their knowledge. This depth of interest is crucial for a research grant application, as it shows that the applicant is not only interested in the topic but also capable of contributing to the field.

Connection to the program

The applicant makes a strong connection between their academic interests and the specific program they are applying to. They mention their desire to work with leading researchers at ABC University and how the program aligns with their goals. This demonstrates that the applicant has done their homework and understands how the program can help them achieve their aspirations. By showing that they are not just applying to any program but one that is uniquely suited to their research interests, the applicant strengthens their case for being a good fit.

Evidence of academic achievement and potential

The applicant provides clear evidence of their academic achievements and potential by discussing their research experiences and academic work, such as their senior thesis. These examples serve to build credibility, showing that the applicant has a strong foundation in the field and is prepared to take on more advanced research. The balance between discussing past achievements and future aspirations is well-maintained, giving the reader confidence that the applicant has both the skills and the drive to succeed in the program.

• Showcase a deep academic interest in your personal statement.
• Make a strong connection to the specific program you’re applying to.
• Provide evidence of your potential and readiness to contribute to the field.
• Demonstrate your passion for the subject and align your academic interests with the program’s strengths.
• Highlight your past achievements to create a compelling narrative.
• Convince the selection committee of your suitability for the opportunity.

Common elements of effective personal statements

Crafting an effective personal statement involves more than just listing achievements and aspirations. The best personal statements share several key elements that make them stand out and resonate with the reader. By understanding and applying these elements, you can create a compelling narrative that strengthens your application.

Authenticity and honesty

All three examples we’ve discussed maintain a strong sense of authenticity and honesty, which is crucial for an effective personal statement. Each applicant shares their story in a way that feels genuine and true to their experiences. They don’t exaggerate or fabricate details but instead focus on their real challenges, achievements, and aspirations.

Authenticity is important because it allows the reader to connect with you on a personal level. Admissions committees and hiring managers can often tell when a statement is overly polished or insincere, which can weaken your credibility. Being honest about your journey, including any setbacks or challenges you’ve faced, demonstrates self-awareness and integrity. It shows that you are comfortable with who you are and confident in what you have to offer.

Clear structure and flow

A clear structure is another hallmark of effective personal statements. Each of the examples we reviewed follows a logical progression, guiding the reader smoothly from one idea to the next. This structure typically includes an introduction, a body that discusses experiences and goals, and a conclusion that ties everything together.

Having a clear structure helps the reader follow your story without getting lost or confused. It ensures that your key points are communicated effectively and that the overall narrative is cohesive. For example, starting with a strong introduction that grabs the reader’s attention and provides a preview of what’s to come can set the tone for the rest of the statement. Similarly, ending with a conclusion that reinforces your main message leaves a lasting impression.

Tailoring the statement to the audience

Tailoring your personal statement to the specific audience you’re addressing is crucial for making a strong impact. Each of the examples we discussed was carefully crafted with the target audience in mind. Whether it’s a medical school admissions committee, a scholarship board, or a research grant panel, understanding what the reader is looking for allows you to highlight the most relevant aspects of your background and goals.

When tailoring your statement, consider the values, goals, and priorities of the institution or organization you’re applying to. For instance, if you’re applying to a program known for its emphasis on research, you should highlight your research experiences and how they align with the program’s focus. Similarly, if a scholarship emphasizes community service, be sure to showcase your involvement in that area. By aligning your statement with the expectations of the reader, you increase your chances of making a positive impression.

Reflective and forward-looking

An effective personal statement strikes a balance between reflecting on past experiences and looking forward to future aspirations. In the examples we reviewed, each applicant thoughtfully reflects on their past, discussing how their experiences have shaped their character, skills, and goals. At the same time, they also focus on their future, outlining their ambitions and how the opportunity they’re applying for will help them achieve those goals.

This balance is important because it shows that you are not only aware of where you come from but also where you are going. Reflecting on past experiences demonstrates self-awareness and the ability to learn from your journey, while looking forward showcases your vision and ambition. Together, these elements create a narrative that is both grounded in reality and aspirational, which is compelling to any reader.

How long should your personal statement be?

The ideal length for a personal statement can vary depending on the specific application and its requirements. Always check the specific guidelines provided by the institution or organization, as they may have their own word limits or format requirements.

Here’s a general guide for different scenarios:

University Application:

• Undergraduate Applications : Typically, 500–650 words (approximately 1–2 pages). This is the standard length for many college applications, including those submitted through the Common Application.
• Graduate Applications : Usually 500–1,000 words (1–2 pages). Some programs may allow slightly longer statements, especially for research-heavy or professional degrees.

Scholarship Application :

• General Scholarships : Generally, 500–750 words (1–1.5 pages). Scholarships often require concise personal statements that clearly convey your goals and qualifications.
• Specific or Competitive Scholarships : May require 750–1,000 words (1.5–2 pages), especially if the scholarship is highly competitive or if it asks for a detailed explanation of your background and ambitions.

Grant Application:

• Research Grants : Often require more detailed statements, typically 1,000–1,500 words (2–3 pages). This allows for a thorough discussion of your research interests, methodology, and how the grant will support your work.
• Smaller Grants or Fellowships : May ask for 500–1,000 words (1–2 pages), depending on the nature of the grant and the amount of funding.

Job Application:

• Cover Letter/Personal Statement : Typically, 250–500 words (0.5–1 page). In job applications, candidates frequently include personal statements as part of the cover letter. Your personal statement should be concise and focused on showcasing your skills, experience, and how they align with the job you’re applying for.

What time of the year are personal statements needed for college and university?

During the application season, college and university applications in the United States typically require students to submit personal statements. Most colleges and universities have application deadlines in the fall or early winter. Personal statements are usually needed by November for Early Decision or Early Action applications and by January for Regular Decision applications. Some institutions may also have deadlines in December or February.

Here’s a more detailed breakdown:

• August: The Common Application (used by many colleges and universities) usually opens on August 1st. This marks the unofficial start of the college application season. Students can begin filling out their applications and drafting their personal statements.
• September to November: During these months, students are usually finalizing their applications. Early Decision and Early Action deadlines often fall in November, with some as early as October 15th. This is a critical period for students who want to apply early to increase their chances of admission or to receive earlier decisions.
• December to January: This is when the Regular Decision deadlines typically fall, with many colleges having deadlines on January 1st or January 15th. Some schools have deadlines in December or February, but January is the most common.
• February to March: Some schools with later deadlines may accept applications during this time. Additionally, students applying to certain programs, such as fine arts or international students, might have deadlines that extend into the early spring.

So, while the college application season mostly occurs from August to January of a student’s senior year, the actual transition to college happens after graduation, with the new school year starting in late summer or early fall.

Crafting a personal statement that works

As you begin drafting your personal statement, remember that your unique story is your greatest asset. Be authentic, honest, and reflective in your writing. Show your personality without being afraid, and ensure that you structure your statement well and tailor it to your audience. Most importantly, approach the process with confidence, knowing that you have the tools and insights to create a personal statement that truly represents who you are and what you aim to achieve.

Now that you have a solid understanding of what makes a personal statement effective, it’s time to start writing your own.

Sara has been in the career development field for over 10 years and has a wealth of knowledge to share. She covers topics such as resume writing, job search strategies, interview techniques, career planning, and more. You can connect with her on LinkedIn . She has curated our free downloadable resume templates for Word  and  resume templates for Google Docs .

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Admissions Officer Advice: Revising the Personal Statement

Former Admissions Officer Arianna explains what makes a compelling personal statement and how to edit yours to perfection.

Webinar Transcription

2021-12-02 Admissions Officer Advice: Revising the Personal Statement

[00:00:00] Hi, everyone. Welcome to CollegeAdvisor’s webinar on revising your personal statement. To orient everyone with a webinar timing, we’ll start off with a presentation. Then answer your questions in a live Q and a on the sidebar. You can download the slides and you can start submitting your questions in the Q and a tab.

Now let’s meet our panelist.

Hi everyone. My name is Ariana Pagan. I have been with CollegeAdvisor for a while now, and I’m very excited to be here tonight with you to talk about revising the personal statement, um, and answer any additional questions. You might have a little bit about my background. I have been in [00:01:00] higher education since 2016.

Specifically in the undergraduate admissions office, graduate admissions and academic advising now. Um, and I’ve worked at institutions such as Emmanuel college, Babson college, um, in Northeastern. Um, and so I have a master’s in education administration. Um, my bachelor’s is in counseling and health, and I’m also a licensed social worker in the state of Massachusetts.

So that’s a little bit about me. Um, and we can go ahead and continue on with our presentation for today. And I’ll turn it back over to Mackenzie. So to start the presentation off, we’ll just go through a quick poll. So where are you in the, uh, application process? And while we wait for these answers to come back, can you tell us a little bit about like, as from the admissions officer’s perspective, what were some, um, like really interesting or strong essays that you.

I think the best essay and it was one of the first I ever read in my [00:02:00] career. Um, and it’s stuck with me almost seven years later. Um, the student wrote about their 15 minute walk to CVS is so like the baseline of the story was nothing extravagant, but it was really interesting because she had kind of like spaced out on the walk and was like disassociating in her mind and like walking us through like what her thought process was.

And then it was like back and forth and I’ve read some really good ones about col high school athletes. Um, those are always enjoyable for me. That’s like a very mixed bag though, depending on who you talk to, but, you know, whenever you can get a student’s authentic voice and really get, you know, a personal narrative from them about what they’re about and what they’re passionate about, those always end up being the assays that stand up.

So it’s looking like, um, we have 18% of say they haven’t started. 36% are still researching schools. 18% are working on their essays. And 27% are [00:03:00] getting their application materials done and no one is almost done. So that’s a bit different. Oh, for those of you getting your application materials together, keep pushing, stay disciplined.

Um, it will all come together. I promise. All right. So moving on, uh, the personal statement, uh, plays a few roles in the college application and, uh, I think one of the. The biggest things to know is that your personal statement really sets the tone for the rest of your application. You know, we can read your transcript, we can see your GPA or test scores, but to really figure out who you are as an applicant and what you bring to the table, we look to your personal statement.

Um, and so that sets the personal narrative and it’s really the opportunity for you to highlight what you can contribute to the university, but also how your values. Align with the university’s values, [00:04:00] because what we want to see is as a student, how have you grown? What have you gotten involved in? What are your strengths?

Are you looking to branch out at the college level and try something new? Are you looking to, you know, continue on in the activities that you’ve done so far? Um, have there been any experiences that have impacted you or maybe you just have, you know, something interesting to see. And you want to voice it in this essay.

Um, and, and ultimately those are the essays and personal statements that shine through the most. You’ll hear me say essay essay and personal statement are the same. We use them interchangeably, but ultimately the personal statement is your opportunity to stand out. You know, we could have a hundred applicants with the same, GPA’s the same test scores and really what differentiates our.

You know, letters of reference for sure. But also that personal statement.[00:05:00]

The thing about the personal statement is that it’s, it’s never something you can do in one sitting. It’s really something that takes a while. And here at CollegeAdvisor, you know, we break up what the personal statement is in the sections that are completed. And so realistically your personal statement could take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months to really craft and perfect.

And so some of the areas that are typically needed for revision are grammar, always. Um, what I can tell you from my experience is that grammar is usually the easiest part to revise when I’m reading an application. And I see that there’s grammar mistakes or misspellings in a personal state. It’s kind of an indication that the student didn’t care enough to look over one of the easiest fixes.

Um, so that doesn’t look too good con. Um, always in need of revision, sometimes putting too little, sometimes putting too [00:06:00] much. And what I mean by that is sometimes it’s very easy to try and convey a message that you think the admissions office wants to hear. Um, and that’s we get that. We see that very often.

We don’t want you trying to put on a show for us or writing about what you think we want to hear. We want to hear about you. We want to know about you. Um, and so sometimes students will forget. To put in that personal message into the statement and really they get lost in trying to be creative and trying to be funny.

Um, and that can also hurt transitions. Uh, and by transitions, I mean, you know, from one thought to the next, do they connect, does it make sense? And you need to make sure you’re answering the prompt. Um, I’ve had a lot of students in the past. They have this really great idea for an essay and, you know, They write it and, you know, come to find out it doesn’t actually answer the question in the way they thought it did.

And so, you know, we have to revise that [00:07:00] way and overall the point or the message you’re trying to convey professionalism, your personal voice. Um, it’s really easy to write in a pretty way or write poetically, you know, not everybody is gifted in the art of writing and we recognize that. But it’s for that reason that the personal statement could take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months to perfect.

Um, and ultimately you want to make sure that as you’re writing, you’re answering the prompt and that you’re also saying what you need to say in a direct way. You don’t want to beat around the Bush. You don’t want to use metaphors. That don’t make sense. You really have to be direct in what you’re saying, because ultimately you have about five to seven.

To grab the admissions officer’s attention. We read up to a hundred applications a day, depending on the university. And you know, that personal statement, if it doesn’t flow, [00:08:00] if it doesn’t connect, we’ll move on very quickly. Um, so these are the areas that tend to be in most need of revision. As students are crafting a personal.

And then I, you know, it brings about the question of, well, if you know, everybody’s answering the same prompt or, you know, how do I, how do I stand out? You know, I’m not the best writer in my grade. Um, you know, I, I do worry about issues of grammar. I’ve had nothing exciting happened to me or, you know, I haven’t, um, I haven’t really had anybody review my, my personal statement.

So to, to really differentiate between the issues of the content of the essay versus the grammar, the pros, uh, these are some of the questions. I typically have students answer and think about in their writing and that the first one is, does it end with an insight or are you just telling a story? Are you just writing a story or [00:09:00] are you, is there a meaning?

Is there a message? Is there a goal to what you’re writing? Um, and usually that helps students realize, oh, I’ve just been like putting things on paper. I haven’t actually been like connecting the dots to a message. Do the stories and examples, you use demonstrate that your values and do those values match the university values.

And what I mean by that is not necessarily saying I value community service. I’ve done community service for four years. X university also values community service. So I’d be a good fit. That’s not what I’m talking about when I’m talking about. You know, growing up, I really had a passion for, you know, giving back to the people who have had an impact in my life.

And this is how I’ve done that. And, you know, researching X university, you know, these are some of the clubs I could see myself getting involved in. I’d love to start a new project. And I think that, you know, through this way, I would really be able to continue contributing to the [00:10:00] next community that I would be a part of.

It’s really getting deep and answering. How your values match the university’s values. Um, and, and next is, is it focused on me or is it too focused on another person or idea? Uh, I tragedy happens. Um, we’re not looking for a tragedy in your personal statement. We don’t want to hear about a loved one dying.

We don’t want to hear about the passing of a pet. We don’t want to hear about your friend’s cousin’s sister’s brother who got cancer, and that made you, you know, Reevaluate your life. That’s not what we’re looking for because ultimately that doesn’t tell us anything about you. Um, we want to hear about you.

It doesn’t have to be a tragedy. It doesn’t have to be sad. It doesn’t have to be extravagant or, um, you know, out, you know, something unique. Like you don’t have to have traveled the world that’s by 17 in order to have a good essay. Um, really it, [00:11:00] you know, To look at content. Sometimes it’s really helpful for students to talk to the people in their lives, who know them the best to say, you know, when you’re reading this essay, does it sound like me?

Do, do you get the point of what I’m saying? Um, and that can sometimes be helpful in ensuring that your essay is focused on. And as always, did I answer the prompt, always go back to that bar, you answering the actual question, uh, for, for your personal statement. So that’s a, that’s a way to kind of differentiate between the content of your essay versus like the grammar and the pros and the poetic weakness, um, and the writing style of your essay.

And so once you’ve identified problem in your writing, um, How do you find a solution? So these are some of the most common issues. Uh, I see with students when they’re writing their personal essay and these are the ways that we [00:12:00] redirect and have them, um, sort of rewrite, you know, so you’re telling a story without insight.

You’re just putting pen to paper, you know, adolescent about how, what, um, at a lesson learned actions that you took and how that had an impact. To tie together the lesson and tie together the moral of the story, so to speak. Um, maybe you’re writing about being such a good person or, you know, you have a real passion for, I just recently read an essay about a student who had a passion for finance, um, and you know, how Bitcoin recently became a big thing and he was really interested in it, but.

That was kind of where it ended. Like there was no, well, you’re interested in Bitcoin and finance, but how are you? Are you investing, you know, are your parents big and finance? You really have to add in some context and some backstory about the qualities that you’re claiming to have. [00:13:00] And so adding detail to those stories can really be helpful.

And if you’re somebody who writes mostly about another person or another idea, um, for some students, you know, it’s very rare, but occasionally it does come across that, um, you know, a student has, has gone through a tragedy and it’s, it’s really impacted them. Um, or they’re writing about another person. You know, you have to be able to tie in how, not only how that affected your perspective, but how has that impacting your future and what does that have to do with a university?

What does that have to do with the college you’re applying to? So really these are some of the most common solution problems and solutions that we’ve seen.

And when it comes to asking for. I think a lot of students will defer to their high school guidance counselor. Um, but I think the thing to be conscious of is that your [00:14:00] guidance counselor is reading everybody’s essay and they’re not reading. For content or, you know, your, your writing style and authenticity, they’re really more of like a grammar check and a professionalism check to your essay.

And so, you know, at CollegeAdvisor, this is really what we do that we’re, we’re experts in, you know, your personal statements and making sure you’re really solidifying that personal narrative. Um, so when it comes to the authenticity of your application, I always suggest to students go to your parents first, your parents, you know, know you best.

They know what you’re like. They’ve lived with you all your life, you know, parent or guardian, you know, ask them, Hey, read this, does this sound like me? You know, does this, you know, do I sound like myself? Do I come across authentic? You know, the people that you surround yourself with the most are going to be the people who are going to be able to give you the best feedback about authenticity.

Um, [00:15:00] And so maybe one or two friends also, um, could be helpful in that, but, um, and your parents could also be really helpful for your writing style, just in how you speak. You know, maybe they’ve read a couple of your essays over the years, um, understanding, you know, wow, this really sounds like you, like, this is, this is great.

Like keep it up. We’re saying, you know what? It actually sounds a little fake or it sounds a little, you know, um, It sounds a little too polished. You know, you’re using big words that you don’t use on a daily basis and you’re using, you know, synonyms for words that we’ve never heard you use before. Um, so you really want to make sure whether it’s a guidance counselor, uh, somebody here at CollegeAdvisor, your parent, your friend, ultimately, you want to make sure that the same message is coming across through your essay from.

If your parents are reading your essay and they’re saying, wow, you know, we really got the message from this. And your friends are saying they got a [00:16:00] different message. That might be a sign that it’s time to revisit the actual content and rewrite and revisit that, um, to make sure that the same message comes through.

And the reason that’s important is because sometimes you don’t know who’s going to be reading your application. So, if you can get a similar message across the board from the people in your life, then it kind of gives you the peace of mind of knowing that this message is going to be conveyed consistently in the admissions office.

And that you can be confident that you’ve written the solid essay. Okay.

Okay, so we’re going to do another quick poll. So have you completed your personal statement? Yes. And I’m confident in it? Yes, but I think I need to make some edits or revisions. No, I’m still drafting it or no, I haven’t started it at all. And, uh, on that note, uh, with the asking your counselor, I asked my English teacher because of the.

I was really cool with [00:17:00] him. Um, when I was in, uh, when I was writing my personal statement and he gave me like, he wasn’t being mean, but he pretty much said my personal statement had nothing to do with me at all, based on how he knew me. And because I wrote it about like, Being the white girl of my friend group and like the connotation, he understood it, but he pointed out how somebody else would probably not get the nuance of it.

And so, um, I was just like, yeah, that’s probably right. So I ended up rewriting it and my dad was the one that helped me to come up with my new topic, um, based on like conversations that we would have all the time. And he like pointed out like, oh, you’re always talking about, uh, access to education. Why don’t you write about.

And it is looking like, um, okay. We’re still getting, uh, stuff in. Uh, so no, because it is really hard. And I think this is, uh, you [00:18:00] know, uh, what, what any students here, what I want you to understand is that from an admissions perspective, we understand how hard it is. This part of the essay, you know, you can take the, you can study for the SATs.

You can study for your exams. You can, you know, get involved, but taking time to, and a lot of time to sit and write something that is supposed to speak to who you are. We recognize that’s intimidating. We recognize it’s a hard, you know, we recognize it’s hard. And so to say, you know what makes a good essay in Nevada essay?

Isn’t really a solid question. Because it’s personal and it really comes down to not whether your essay is good or bad, but whether you can answer the question in a way that is authentic to who you are and can relate to the university. So it’s looking like we have 25% say yes, they’ve completed it, but they want to make [00:19:00] revisions.

They’re 10% are saying that they’re still drafting and 63% say they haven’t stopped. Alright, mixed bag. That’s good. That’s good. It’s a good to know. And for those of you who haven’t started yet, hopefully you can get some insight from this presentation. And if you have questions at the end about anything, feel free to ask.

So in terms of additional resources, um, the first one I always recommend to students is obviously CollegeAdvisor. Um, I have worked with CollegeAdvisor for a very long. And, you know, we do have our own internal essay review team in addition to your CollegeAdvisor. Um, so you really have an entire, you have somebody whose work will have worked with you for up to a year.

They know you very well. In addition to an essay review team of other professionals who have also worked in admissions, you know, there that’s a really great resource [00:20:00] and honestly, It really gives students a competitive edge in the admissions office. Um, so that’s always something I tell anybody in my life.

Um, but also YouTube is a great resource, you know, especially for students who are looking for free resources. YouTube is great. There are a lot of professors, um, and a lot of admissions officers and even just Ivy league students as well, who, you know, serve as tutors and who have experience in this field as well in some capacity.

And so really just going on YouTube and searching, you know, crafting your college essay or how to write a college essay, where to start is a really great resource. Um, I have, uh, a few students who tell me they are students of YouTube university. So they always recommend you do as well. And then John Hopkins actually has a really solid website of sample essays that they’ve received in the past.

So if you Google, um, John [00:21:00] Hopkins essays that works it’s the first or second link actually brings you to the John Hopkins website. And you can read some of the sample essays that students have submitted, just to get an idea of what creativity. Um, and get an idea of what a unique essay is. And, you know, also understand a personal narrative.

You know, you can read some of these essays and really get a sense of who the student is without having met them. And that is the whole point of the personal essay. Um, so those are some resources we always, um, we always give out to students,

some common mistakes, uh, ICM, personal stuff. Um, they, they don’t answer the prompt. And the reason that the prompt is there is because we, first of all, it’s supposed to be a guiding force for you. It’s supposed to guide you to. Right. Um, but also from an admissions [00:22:00] perspective, you know, we read a lot of, we read a lot of things, but, um, being able to have a prompt to know, okay, this is what I am expecting for an answer I’m expecting to hear about an experience of X, Y, Z.

And you read it. So if you’re not answering the prompt, you’ve already started off on a bad foot because the admissions officer isn’t going to be engaged and they’re not going to get a real sense of what you’re talking about or what you mean. Um, and there’s no narrative, it’s just a story. Um, it’s, you know, for example, if you’re an athlete, right, and you’re writing about scoring your first goal as an athlete in whatever.

That’s a great story, but the narrative to that story. Would be, I was extremely nervous and I wasn’t even supposed to start that night. So it, I was very unexpectedly nervous. Um, but being a part of a team really showed me how I can rely [00:23:00] on others. And I couldn’t have scored that goal if I hadn’t worked so hard in practice, if I hadn’t trusted my teammates.

And from this experience, I learned that through teamwork and. Putting my trust in other people as well, and, you know, asking for help when I need it was how I could score the goal. So that’s, that’s the narrative to the story. Um, so that’s what you want. You don’t just want to write a story. Um, not spellcheck again, that’s one of the easiest things to fix.

So, you know, double, triple, quadruple, check that. And then trying to be funny, please do not try to be funny. Um, it does not. It doesn’t. It does not work. The reason I say that is because you don’t know the personality of the person who is reading your essay. Um, and we don’t have a lot of time. So, you know, sometimes you’re, it comes across as awkward.

Sometimes it can come across as sarcastic, both characteristics. You don’t want [00:24:00] associated with your personal statement. Um, don’t try to be funny. Just be. Um, and then also being disingenuous writing about how you’ve always wanted to go to Harvard is pretty disingenuous. There are a lot of people who have always felt that way.

Why are you special? You know, um, you want to make sure you’re staying true to what you know, and what you want to accomplish and how your values again, are comparable to the university values

on the flip side. What makes a great personal statement, in my opinion, are the students who have a purpose to their writing. Um, and there’s a point to the narrative. You know, it really flows. I could start at the first sentence and stay engaged. There’s no point where I’m saying, wait a minute, what, what does this mean?

Or did I miss something there? This doesn’t connect in a way. Um, it flows, it also [00:25:00] highlights, you know, The student’s talents in areas of growth. Maybe you started off high school. Uh, I read a really great essay about a student who was bullied their freshman year, um, and really, you know, consider taking their own life.

And, you know, they had a coach at the school who knew their family. And so they reached out to the family and long story short, the student found a way to. And over the course of four years, he started weightlifting and documented how mentally he became stronger while he physically became stronger. And it was like, it was authentic.

It was creative. Um, and it showcased his areas of growth mentally, physically. And how, you know, Moving along in his college career, that was why he wanted to study kinesthesiology because he loved the body. He loved physiology. He loved all those aspects. Um, so it’s creative, it’s authentic. Um, and [00:26:00] it shows that, you know, the student isn’t trying to write something that they think we want to hear.

They’re just writing about themselves. And those are always the essays that stand out.

So again, I previously mentioned that the personal statement really serves as the center and the heart of your application. Um, it sets the tone for the narrative of who you are, your growth over four years, what you can contribute to the university, not just academic preparation, but you know, personally, um, as well to join the.

And so, you know, you really want to make sure that whatever it is you’re writing about is contributing to the holistic profile that you’re putting forth. Um, so you’re, if you have been in, you know, a student government for three. And, you know, maybe you were able to [00:27:00] pull off an event that nobody thought you would be able to, and that’s what you’re writing about.

And we can see, oh, well, this student has been involved in student government for a while. So it’s great to see how in their junior year they were able to advance or take on a leadership. Um, and it’s your, your personal statement is an opportunity again, to expand on those interests and why they’re important to you.

Like, tell me why this matters to you. Um, that that really is a really great way to set the tone, like conveying why something matters to you can really show. Not just your values, but also how it’s connected to your entire academic profile and can compliment other areas of your application, such as your letters of reference or, um, you know, maybe you’ve taken additional music classes because you’ve been in band for four years.

And so any elective has been a music class. Those are great things to know. Um, so those are some ways that your application, [00:28:00] uh, your personal statement can contribute to the holistic profile of your applicant.

Uh, I get asked this quite a bit. The, and again, this is my opinion, this differs, um, depending on the admissions office you talk to, but I’ve, I’ve worked at a few universities at this point. Um, some are liberal arts, some top 30. And what I would say has been pretty consistent in my mind as the most important aspect of your application.

Is your academic rigor and performance. So not your GPA, not your test scores, but really have you, you know, taken APS and IVs and honors classes. Have you challenged yourself throughout this curriculum? Um, throughout your three and a half? Or have you just been in standard college prep, maybe you haven’t taken any APS or IVs, but you’ve gotten all A’s [00:29:00] and you know, outside of school you’re working to help provide for your family, or, you know, I had a student who their profile, they didn’t have any APS, any honors, you know, very limited involvement in high school, but outside of high school, they actually were able to get escape park, uh, implemented in their committee.

And he was running this entire like skateboarding club outside and getting people to donate skateboards and, you know, running events. And that was so cool. So, but at the same time, you’re also seeing he might not be taking APS or honors. You know, consistently maintained all A’s and that’s also impressive.

Um, so definitely number one, your academic rigor and performance and academic growth over three and a half, four years, then it’s your personal statement. Um, after that, any interviews that you can do are also going to contribute to that personal narrative. [00:30:00] So if the university you’re applying to offers, interviews could be with an alum, could be with an admissions officer.

I always highly recommend interviews to students as well, just to continuously build that personal connection. Um, and then lastly would be your extracurricular activities. Um, there’s a lot of extracurriculars out there and I’ve seen some really interesting ones. Um, so those are always interesting to read about and, and get a sense of what the student is passionate about, uh, or has been passionate about in their high school.

And just some last pieces of advice, um, when, whether you’ve started your personal statement or haven’t started, or you’re almost done, you’re in the final revisions, don’t overthink it. Um, please don’t overthink it and always defer back to these following questions. Does it end with an insight or does it just tell a story?[00:31:00]

Are you using stories and examples to demonstrate your values? Or are you just writing about them and how do these values match the university’s values and to find the university’s values? There’s a few ways you can do that. Number one, usually if you go to an open house or an information session, they’ll tell you it’s like the first or second slide is like the mission.

And the passion projects of the universities and institutional goals, um, or you could just research online, you know, the university or college you’re interested in and see what their values and institutional goals are. Um, and, you know, base what you’re writing around those. Um, and always asking, is the essay focused on you or is it too focused on another person or another idea?

And then lastly, always, always, please make sure you are answering. The prompt. It’s really easy to like have a good story and then just like slip away and get caught up in writing [00:32:00] that you end up not answering the prompt. Um, so those would be some last pieces of advice that I would give to students as they’re writing their personal.

Okay, so that is the end of the presentation part of the webinar. I hope you found this information helpful and remember that you can download the slides from the link in the handouts tab, moving on to live Q and a I’ll read through your questions. You submitted in the Q and a tab and read them a lot before our panelists gives you an answer as a heads up.

If your Q and a tab, isn’t letting you submit questions, just making. Sure, um, that you joined the webinar through the custom link sent to your email and not from the webinar landing page on the website, because if you join through the webinar landing page, you don’t get all the features that big marker.

So, um, we can just get started. So I’m just going to do a quick question first. Um, should, uh, should students mention a specific school in their personal statement? You can. Um, I think specifically when [00:33:00] you get into top 30 and really Ivy league schools mentioning the school’s name is always a good idea.

However, if you are not somebody who is detail oriented, um, I have read applications, I’ve read applications that are like, you know, and this is why I think I would be a great fit at Northwest. And I’m like, that’s a different university. So if you’re not somebody who’s detailed oriented and are going to actively change the name of the college with where you’re submitting the essay, then don’t.

And on the act. Well, at least from the common app platform, it’s your personal statement gets sent to all the schools that you have in your list, but you send to your schools individually when you click to submit the school’s individual application, it makes more sense when you’re actually looking on it.

[00:34:00] But. Pretty much. If you want it to send the same essay and change the name you would click send for your first school, go back and change the name, click send for the next school after you’ve changed the name and keep doing that. Um, so yeah. Uh, okay. So next question. Uh, when you say answer the prompt, does that mean that every college needs a different personal essay?

Okay. No. Um, when I say answer the prompt, so, uh, in the common application specifically, Um, there are, you know, seven or eight different prompts, uh, questions to answer. So typically students will pick one of those seven or eight prompts and write their personal statement. So when I say answer the prompt, do you want to, what I mean?

Is that personal statement that goes out to every college? It’s just one, whatever question you choose, make sure you answer.[00:35:00]

Okay, so I’m going to do another quick poll just to get an idea of that age of the audience. I think that might help a bit. So, uh, what grade are you currently in? 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 or other. And that could be like, if you’re a parent or a transfer.

And, but while we wait for that, um, so you talked about, um, like having your own voice in the essay, how can, uh, how can you maintain your voice in the essay when revising or trying to remain professional? I think it’s really important to ask yourself, am I, what am I trying to say here? Um, so as you make revisions, it’s really important to reread and say, okay, What am I trying to say here?

Cause sometimes you write because you think, oh, well this will sound better. This will, this will make the essay flow better. And then when you read it altogether, if it makes sense, then that’s great. But [00:36:00] sometimes it’s important to ask yourself, am I, is this, is this what I mean to say? And then asking somebody to look at those revisions, um, specifically somebody close to you like a parent or a friend, um, or your CollegeAdvisor.

If you. To see if they’re also getting that personal narrative still, as you’re making revisions, the way I’ve always said it to my clients is talking about something that you’re passionate about or that matters to you talking about something that you actually care about that maybe you usually talk about, or you usually think about if you don’t really say it out loud, um, something that you would have a lot to say about, and not just something you’re trying to think of to like impress somebody else.

Absolutely. And it’s looking like we have, um, 10% are 10th graders, 60% are 11th graders, 20%, our 12th graders and a 10% is other. Um, so that may explain why some people haven’t [00:37:00] started yet. That that makes more sense. Okay. So going onto the next question. Um, okay. So, um, Again, with talking about voice. Um, what does a person’s voice look like in written form?

Is it more related to the style or to the content or, uh, any other like indicators? That’s a great question. So it’s really, uh, it’s really determined by the content. Um, some students are just naturally gifted writers and they just naturally have a very poetic and, and narrative. When they’re writing. Um, but that’s not the case for most students.

And so because of that, you really want to make sure that the content that you’re writing about. Rich and information, not just about you, but also context of what you’re writing about context of your values, proof of the qualities you’re claiming you have, um, [00:38:00] and explaining how, you know, if you’re writing about an event or experience how that’s impacted you and how you’ve used that moving forward.

Um, and so that the content is really the best way to continue that narrative. One thing about voice that I’ve noticed is like the difference with like active voice and passive voice. A lot of students that I’ve worked with tend to speak with passive voice, and that’s sorta like the usual kind of like humble speak and it adds more words than are needed, especially with this limited word count.

And an example of that would be, um, saying I would like to study. Jesus biology, because it would help me become a scientist. Whereas with active voice, you can just say, and this can cut a lot of words in it sounds stronger. Just say studying biology will help me become a great scientist. It gets to the point and you sound more confident when you’re speaking.

So if you’re like in the process of revising your essays, that’s something to look out for, [00:39:00] especially sentences that really matter, like, um, sentences about like what you want to do or the impact you want to have, or the sentences that you really feel like if it were a one-liner that’s where the mic would drop.

Those definitely need to be more active voice than passive voice actually. And the more direct you can be in your writing the better, um, because again, you only have five to seven minutes to kill. That admissions officer’s attention. And so if you can be direct in your writing and upfront in your writing, it makes it a lot easier to read your essay.

Um, and it also just makes it more enjoyable for us to get to know you through this personal. So there was one student asking a kind of niche question about, um, international schools. I mean, international students applying, but I’m going to tweak it just a bit, but, uh, considering that you mentioned like grammar and voice, how can someone that isn’t like English isn’t their native language?

How can they still [00:40:00] portray a good message in the personal statement? Is that something that you’ve noticed is that something in the admissions office they like, look and see like, okay, this is the international school. Yes. So international students do need to be very careful in their writing, especially because, um, if you haven’t attended a U S institution for four years, if you haven’t attended high school in the U S for four years now, nine out of 10 times they’ll require the TOEFL, which is the English language proficiency exam.

And so, you know, for those students who need that exam, we look at your personal essay a lot more. Um, so to really make sure that it can be perfect and as grammatically correct as possible, ask anybody in your life who is a really good English speaker. Maybe it’s an English teacher. Um, maybe it’s the principal of your school.

Maybe it’s, you know, a librarian, but asking anybody in your life who really has that solid foundation in English to review it. [00:41:00] Um, also, you can always spell check, um, in word that’s a great resource also. Um, so, and, you know, also read some other application, other applications, read some other essays online, like the John Hopkins, um, essays that worked to understand just, you know, what the flow is like and you know how to create a narrative in English.

Um, those would be, those would be some of the pieces of advice that. One of my clients that I just got is, um, she is from Brazil. So English isn’t her first language though. She has been studying it for years. And when I was reading through her essay, she’s a great writer. Like she’s a strong writer and she’s very poetic and.

She had a lot to say, um, it was just like certain words had like a different connotation than what she was trying to say. And me knowing like the different words and stuff I could go through and like, see like, okay, I get what you were saying here, but in [00:42:00] English, that’s not exactly what that translates to.

So it would, um, having someone that is, uh, proficient in English would be good. Um, just because they can see like, okay, I get what you’re coming from, but. It doesn’t have the same meeting or it doesn’t translate the same way. And I mean, even joining CollegeAdvisor is a great, is a great way to do that as well.

If you’re an international student who, you know, English, isn’t your first language, you know, join CollegeAdvisor and we’re more than happy to work with you and really help you. Perfect. Not just that narrative, but that writing as well. So, um, okay. This is another question. Um, what are some cliche topics that you’ve seen?

And if a student does have a cliche topic or it’s something that is meaningful to them, but it would still be considered cliche, how can they make it unique to them? Sure. So I think the most, um, cliche I writing [00:43:00] I’ve seen is, are students talking about their parents? Um, while it is tragic, um, we don’t care.

Um, and that, that sounds harsh, but like, that’s why you came, you wanted this insider information. Like we don’t, it, it doesn’t really tell us anything about you. It’s just a tragic. Um, it truly is sad, but we want to know who you are as a student. We want to know how you’ve grown, how you’ve progressed. Um, I there’ve been a few admissions cycles where in a day, if I have to read a hundred applications, like 30 of them are students talking about their divorce parents.

Um, you know, another one that. Could be hit or miss, but it is very common. Is athletes talking about an athletic event? Um, there, I have many colleagues who consider those to be cliche, but what we’ve noticed is that the students who can write, you know, the narrative as I had previously [00:44:00] mentioned, who can write about that narrative of the event and not just tell the story, those are the, you know, sports or athletic essays that.

The best they come across. Very, very clear and personal. Another cliche, one, I would say is students writing about, um, an extra curricular that they’re no longer involved. So, you know, students will re you know, you have a really long or really solid list of extracurriculars. You know, things you’ve been involved in for three or four years, maybe things you’ve been involved in since middle school, elementary school, outside of your high school activities.

Um, and then you’re writing about how you weren’t in band for ninth grade and decided that wasn’t for you. It doesn’t really tell us that much about you, except that you didn’t stick with it. And so it’s no longer relevant, [00:45:00] you know, you really have to be a really good writer to connect that to something.

Um, those, those tend to be some of the most, um, the most common and now more than ever, we’re getting a lot of essays about COVID. Um, while COVID is tragic, it really is. It’s impacting. Everybody, um, in some way or another writing your essay about COVID Kent has become the norm, but it should, if you’re going to do it, it has to be written in a way that is constructive.

So for example, I’ve read, uh, uh, an essay of, uh, a student who, you know, was impacted by COVID. But what she realized through the pandemic was how food insecure. Her surrounding communities were specifically, um, you know, her fellow students. And it was an eyeopening event to, you know, socioeconomic status for her and privilege.

And, you know, also just the [00:46:00] political and human rights climate that, that she was in and how she took a stand and she started protesting and she started working with local vendors to try and get food to, you know, her neighbors. Community, um, in that way, if you’re writing about COVID in a way where you’ve done something you’ve given back, you’ve made it constructive, then it’s not cliche, but if you’re just like, COVID exposed how addicted I am to my phone, or like it’s tragic.

I didn’t, I didn’t get to see my friends online school is hard. Um, so I’m really excited to go to college. Okay. Thank you. Next essay. So those, those are some of the mostly. Yes. And on that note, don’t try and do a service project for the pier sake of getting into college. Do you want to do that? That is a big thing.

Don’t try and like game the system with some project, actually care about what you’re doing. A hundred percent please care. [00:47:00] Uh, so real quick, um, once work one-on-one with an advisor from our team of over 155 advisors and admissions officers sign up for a free consultation with us, but I’m clicking the green shot, but in the bottom right of the screen.

From there, just write in consultation and a live team member will get back to you to help coordinate your free consultation with us. Now, back to the Q and a, and, um, before that also, um, CollegeAdvisor is just really good at offering advisers for one thing, but also through the essay writing process.

One of the more difficult ones and working with an advisor to have extra eyes on your essay can really help to like tweak or even brainstorm. One thing that I really enjoy doing with my clients. The brainstorming aspect of, um, the essay process, because a lot of people just don’t know what they want to say about themselves.

So I really just like taking the time to have a sit down with my clients and like going back and forth, just getting [00:48:00] to know them, figuring out what their interests are, what they like to do. Important to them and then figuring out what can you, how can you take that and say something about it? How can you make that relate to your interest in college?

Or just give the admissions officers something about you? And, um, yeah, so that was my two sites, but, um, going back to the Q and a, um, okay. Uh, so if you have any other like, um, Ideas or, uh, advice that you want to give to students or anything else that you’ve seen that’s either good or bad do’s or don’ts?

I think the important thing that students should take away at it, especially since, uh, it seems like the majority of our audience hasn’t started yet. Um, one piece of advice I always give to the students I work with. To start keeping a journal. Um, and it doesn’t have to be a writing [00:49:00] journal. It could be just like a daily tick talk.

Um, it could just be like a quick 32nd video that you recorded on your phone. It could be a voicemail, but the reason behind that is because when it comes time to start brainstorming for your essay, you now have this collection of journaling of things that have happened in your day. So it doesn’t have to be like, you know, I got up and I brushed my teeth and.

School was really hard today. It really could just be like a 10, 15, second thing of, you know, what I thought about today is, you know, how, um, you know, cold brew is brewed cold, but ice coffee isn’t brewed on ice. You know, just like random thought. I dunno, just like random thoughts because sometimes those random thoughts are just those random things that happen to you throughout the day can be a starting point for a really great essay.

Um, so. You know, something, I always advise to students who haven’t started yet is just start journaling, keeping track of [00:50:00] the things that happened to you during your day that are interesting, um, or random thoughts that you have, because you can always go back to that. And it’s a lot easier than saying, well, I have nowhere to start.

I don’t, I don’t know what to do. Um, and I would also say don’t. For the students who are pulling together their materials now, and, you know, finalizing, you you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about, but don’t compare yourself to where other people are in the process. Um, you’ll, you’ll what you’ll start to feel and see, and hear as you go through this process is, oh, well, so-and-so’s daughter is going to this university and you know, oh, I’ve already written my essay, you know, have you started supplemental essays?

You know, oh, I did my essay three months ago and you know, actually I’m doing tours at this time. Focus on yourself. Everybody is going to be at a different pace because this is a really personal journey. This is, you know, really the first time for many students to take [00:51:00] control over their academics, um, and control over their next experience academically and personally.

So, you know, focus on yourself, focus on where you are and don’t compare. To your friends where your family is saying your friends and family are, are going, I’m really focused on yourself. And that will also help keep you disciplined in writing and preparing your routine. And going back to the point, you said about like having different people read over your essays.

I think that’s something that I really saw helped with my journey, but also with my clients, because even like the students that I was working with for months and months and months to get them to a certain way, they had someone from the essay review team look over it, and that person has. Uh, different points, still keeping the same voice and message, but they had a different view.

And some of the things that I thought were really clear, they were still kind of like, I’m not sure about this and what I thought about it. I had been working for months with this person, so I knew them by this [00:52:00] point. So, um, I might’ve just been able to gloss over some of the things that weren’t explained as well as they could have.

Um, but somebody that doesn’t know them they’ll, especially they admissions officers may not have gotten the point. Um, so it is good to have, um, different eyes on your paper giving, um, different thoughts, but also know not to have a million people giving their opinions on your essays. Cause that can just make it go all over the place.

And it won’t sound like you anymore after a certain. Yes, there is nothing worse than thinking. You’ve got a really solid essay, a really solid statement, and then giving it to somebody, you know, just random being like, Hey, you want to read my essay? And they don’t get the message it’s completely off track because then at that point, panic starts to set in anxiety, starts to set in that you’re you start questioning yourself.

Um, and that’s, we don’t want that. It’s great to have. You can revise until you’re blue in the face. Truly. There’s always something you can [00:53:00] continue to work on. Um, but I always tell students, your essay will never be perfect, but if it’s authentic and if it answers the prompt and if you can, you know, create that narrative, then you’ve done the best that you absolutely.

Um, another thing that I’ve noticed with students is, um, either being too vague and, or having just a list of different things in their stories that isn’t really focused on any one thing which causes it to then be made. So I’d say definitely in the brainstorming phase with the first draft that’s so K that’s actually good, especially if it’s like just the list of random things that have happened in your life, or like your.

And one essay, just trying to get something on the page. But after that, I’d say, go back and highlight through where one story may start and stop and start and stop and see which ones are, which ideas or which events in your life or moments, um, were most important that you can continue to explore. More in [00:54:00] depth and stick with that for your story, because just having a list of your life story, isn’t a good personal statement, just because in the limited word count, you can’t really explain all those different events well enough for it to be interesting or have a point.

Um, and then also it can just seem. An extended version of your activities list sometimes too. And they don’t really want that. They want to understand a bit more than just a list of the different things that you’ve done. It. Absolutely. Yeah. That’s a hundred percent correct. And you know, I always tell students not to overthink it.

Um, and, and to really break up the work, you know, write one paragraph and then just sit on that, like, think about that paragraph, you know, Reflect on it, reread it. Like, does it make sense? Does it answer the prompt? Is it a good intro? You know, and then slowly move on. Like, don’t try to write this in one setting.

So, [00:55:00] you know, you really gotta break it up and think about it and reflect on it because when you can reflect on it, that’s also how you can go building that narrative little by little. Uh, so we have five more minutes left. So if there’s any last minute advice or tips or examples that you want to give, please feel free.

Okay. I think I have said all I can. If any students have questions, I highly recommend signing up for that free consultation with CollegeAdvisor. Um, It’s definitely worth it. Um, and thank you guys so much for joining us tonight. Yes. So that is the end of the webinar. I hope you guys enjoyed, um, uh, the information and really got a lot from it.

And thank you everyone for coming out and thank you to our panelists, Ariana. So here’s the rest of our December series, which is about increasing your. Admissions odds. Uh, and we had other webinars on essay [00:56:00] editing and revising and also brainstorming personal statements or topics. And then, uh, along with our advisors who can help you do that.

And, uh, even, um, first our underclassmen on this Sunday, I am doing a webinar on. Um, what, uh, sophomores and juniors should be doing, um, to prepare for their admissions process. And I do talk a bit about, um, coming up with your personal statement and what that should look like and how to get ahead on that.

So if you want that information, please join. Uh, and then we also have our, um, blog where we have different essay guides and. Uh, plethora of other resources, um, on the website and, uh, if you join college advisers. So thank you again. Thank you everyone for coming out and good night.

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