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How To Stand Out In Your Brown Supplemental Essays 2022/23

The Brown University Supplemental Essay questions allow you to talk about your interests and aspirations so admissions officers can get to know you better and see if you’re a good fit for their school. These questions also give you an outlet to explain why you believe a Brown education will help further your passions and interests.

What are Brown University’s Essay Prompts for 2022/23?

Brown’s supplemental essay prompts remain unchanged from the previous application year.

Brown’s Open Curriculum allows students to explore broadly while also diving deeply into their academic pursuits. Tell us about any academic interests that excite you, and how you might use the Open Curriculum to pursue them while also embracing topics with which you are unfamiliar. (200-250 words)

Brown’s culture fosters a community in which students challenge the ideas of others and have their ideas challenged in return, promoting a deeper and clearer understanding of the complex issues confronting society. this active engagement in dialogue is as present outside the classroom as it is in academic spaces. tell us about a time you were challenged by a perspective that differed from your own. how did you respond (200-250 words), brown students care deeply about their work and the world around them. students find contentment, satisfaction, and meaning in daily interactions and major discoveries. whether big or small, mundane or spectacular, tell us about something that brings you joy. (200-250 words).

My Brown Supplemental Essay

How to Answer Prompt 1

Brown’s open curriculum allows students to freely explore their interests while diving deeper into their academic pursuits. tell us about any academic interests that excite you, and how you might use the open curriculum to pursue them while also embracing topics with which you are unfamiliar. (200-250 words).

This first essay combines two classic admissions questions: “Tell us about your interests” and “Why Brown?” The primary goal of this essay is to show genuine passion or intellectual curiosity in your areas of interest and how Brown will help you pursue these interests. Clarity and concision are critical for this essay.

1. Talk about your experiences

For the first part, talk about the experiences that drew you to your current interests.

Ask yourself the following:

Did they evolve because you were looking for ways to help or challenge people, or were they strictly personal endeavors?
Did a particularly inspiring book, teacher, or experience first get you interested in a certain subject?
How has your passion for this subject grown or developed over time?

It’s perfectly fine to be undecided. Instead, describe specific areas of interest you may pursue.

The focus should be on the reasons why you find a subject so compelling rather than why you’re so amazing at it . Keep your tone humble and self-aware. If you choose to talk about a particular skill you find rewarding or challenging, don’t be afraid to talk about your struggles. Admissions officers find stories and personal experiences interesting. Stories also help them see another angle of your personality and character.

2. Talk about how Brown will further your interests

Now that you have engaged the admission committee with your interests, explain why Brown’s Open Curriculum will help you further your interests. One of the most unique aspects of Brown is that students can choose their own course of study in place of general requirements .

A Brown student might be a biomedical engineer who has taken every Ancient Egyptian archeology course, a comparative literature student who originally intended to study applied math, or a neuroscientist double-concentrating in philosophy. Brown wants to know how you’ll use this flexibility to explore your interests in a way that might not be possible elsewhere .

A solid response to this question integrates gathered knowledge about Brown’s specific offerings into a personal narrative based on your stated interest. Your research and personal insight demonstrate how Brown’s unique opportunities represent an obvious next step in your development.

Utilize Brown’s website as much as possible to brainstorm specific ways the Open Curriculum will help you further your interests. You can even search Researchers @ Brown to connect your interests with the specific interests of professors.

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How to Answer Prompt 2

While the first essay helped Brown admissions learn more about you and how you will benefit from attending Brown, the second essay discusses how Brown will benefit from having you on campus . Admissions teams strive to create diverse classes that come from various backgrounds, but they also seek students who can work together to better the community.

Think about moments in your life that challenged you. Take particular note of:

the specific time and place in which this situation occurred
your reaction to the challenge.

The way you react to the challenge shows your thought process and analysis of the opposing point of view.

A complex and nuanced topic that’s not too polarizing is a good choice for your essay . Since you only have a set amount of words, your humility and sensitivity should be paramount. Additionally, conclude your essay by noting how you will bring the skills you learned from this experience into the Brown community.

How to Answer Prompt 3

This prompt gives you several options, including “small, mundane, or spectacular.” Choose something that brings you genuine joy . Your response shouldn’t simply be a play-by-play of your position in a chosen sport or activity. Instead, focus on a specific place in time or memory that stands out. Be clear, detailed, and original.

Think deeply about your life, your family, and your surroundings. If you are having trouble identifying a unique topic, start with the five senses .

What do you look at that makes you happy?
Does a particular smell evoke happiness?
Have you ever touched something that made you smile?

Remember that witnessing the joy of others is also an option, like being a “gift giver” who revels in presenting loved ones with a surprise.

Your focus reveals a lot about you, so think about how you want to be perceived. You can write about a personal experience or how you shared your joy with someone else. Maybe you witnessed something new, or you find joy in your everyday life.

The essay can be humorous or serious, light or dark. You might even describe something seemingly small and beautiful only to you. Whatever you choose, make sure you are humble and that your joy is not at the expense of another person .

How Crimson Can Help You Get Into Brown University

Crimson takes a personal approach when it comes to helping students with their supplemental essays. Advisors get to know their students by talking with them about their dreams, aspirations, goals, and any aspect of their story that’s unique.

Crimson student Rohan recently got into Brown University . See how Crimson helped him with his extracurriculars, test prep, essay writing, and more!

How Crimson Student Rohan Got Into Brown University

Final Thoughts

While writing these essays, ask yourself if each sentence offers unique insight that’s original to you. Admission officers don’t want to read cookie-cutter answers that anyone could have written. The strongest essays prominently feature personal reflections and don’t linger on accomplishments. Only mention your achievements if you can directly relate them to Brown. Write about how these achievements will help you contribute to the Brown community, and how an education from Brown will help you develop your existing skills and thrive in your future career.

Through their open curriculum, Brown University encourages independent thought and academic exploration. They want to see those qualities in their students. Showcase how you’ve explored outside the box and your unique interpretations of the world around you. You’ll catch the attention of Brown admissions with thoughtful answers and a unique perspective.

What Makes Crimson Different

Key Resources & Further Reading

Harvard Supplemental Essay
Columbia Supplemental Essay
Princeton Supplemental Essay
Cornell Supplemental Essay
MIT Supplemental Essay
University of Chicago Supplemental Essays
Acing your College Application Essay: 5 Expert Tips to Make it Stand Out from the Rest
How to Tackle Every Type of Supplemental Essay
What are the Most Unusual US College Supplemental Essay Prompts?

How to answer stanford's 2024/2025 supplemental essays: tips & insights.

Your Ultimate Guide to the Johns Hopkins Supplemental Essay Prompt 2024

How To Answer UPenn's 2024/25 Supplemental Essays: Tips & Insights

What are your chances of acceptance?

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6 Brilliant Brown University and PLME Essay Examples

What’s covered:.

Essay Example #1 – The Open Curriculum
Essay Example #2 – Joy in Drawing

Essay Example #3 – Differing Perspectives, Studying English

Essay example #4 – differing perspectives, gun control, essay example #5 – differing perspectives, artistic freedom, essay example #6 (plme) – why medicine, where to get your brown essays edited.

Brown is a highly selective school, so it’s important to write strong essays to help your application stand out. In this post, we’ll go over some essays real students have submitted to Brown, including to the even more competitive Program in Liberal Medical Education, and outline their strengths and areas of improvement. (Names and identifying information have been changed, but all other details are preserved).

Alexandra Johnson , an expert advisor on CollegeVine, provided commentary on this post. Advisors offer one-on-one guidance on everything from essays to test prep to financial aid. If you want help writing your essays or feedback on drafts, book a consultation with Alexandra Johnson or another skilled advisor.

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.

Read our Brown essay breakdown for a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental essays.

Essay Example #1 – The Open Curriculum

Prompt: Brown’s Open Curriculum allows students to explore broadly while also diving deeply into their academic pursuits. Tell us about any academic interests that excite you, and how you might use the Open Curriculum to pursue them while also embracing topics with which you are unfamiliar. (200-250 words)

My mother exclaimed in shock as she saw the title American Murder: The Family Next Door as the latest title on our Netflix watch list. “Why on earth would you want to watch that?” It made no sense to her that I spent free time watching documentaries about the psychopathic tendencies of serial killers.

From listening to neuropsychology podcasts on my long runs to reading Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment, I’ve been eager to explore the intersection between neuroscience, society, and the role they play in human nature. Brown’s Open Curriculum would allow me to double concentrate in Neuroscience and Science, Technology, and Society with a theme in Health and Medicine. Classes like Philosophy of Biology and The Moral Brain would begin to answer my questions about the relationship between neuroscience and human ethics. Perhaps I’ll finally understand why Raskolnikov thought he could get away with his crimes.

As an eight-year Latin scholar and five-time Percy Jackson reader, I hope to take classes in the Brown Classics department. I’m also intrigued by Ancient Greek Philosophy, and I plan to explore classic texts such as Plato’s Symposium in Introduction to Greek Literature. Courses like Hippocratic Medicine would allow me to learn about connections between the Classical world and medicine today.

The brain’s unique composition creates an intricate link between science, history, and modern society that I can only explore at Brown. More importantly, Brown’s diverse environment would introduce me to people with entirely different opinions about Raskolnikov’s motives.

What the Essay Did Well

This essay is structured incredibly well. The author uses an anecdote to explain their interests in the opening paragraph. “My mother exclaimed in shock,” is the beginning of an opening sentence that draws the reader in, as the reader wants to learn the reason behind the mother’s shock. This opening allows the writer to speak about an interest of theirs, murder documentaries, then tie it to what they’re interested in studying.

When discussing an academic interest, the author does a great job of providing specific examples connected to Brown. This allows the writer to share how they plan to take advantage of Brown’s unique Open Curriculum. They write, “ Classes like Philosophy of Biology and The Moral Brain would begin to answer my questions about the relationship between neuroscience and human ethics.” By sharing specific classes, it’s clear that the author has done some research about Brown and is truly interested in attending.

The writer chooses to spend their last paragraph sharing more interests and how they could pursue these interests at Brown. They did a great job sharing a variety of interests, and they made it fun by writing that they’re a “five-time Percy Jackson reader.” Sharing details like this about yourself can help make your essays stand out because you come across as relatable, and your essay becomes more engaging and entertaining for the reader!

What Could Be Improved

While it’s nice that the writer mentions various interests, including both neuroscience and classics, there doesn’t seem to be a strong connection between the two topics. The essay would be better if the author improved the transition between the second and third paragraphs. They could say how it’s not common to be able to study both neuroscience and classics because of how different the subjects are but that Brown’s open curriculum lets you pursue both.

More simply, the writer could share why they want to study both topics. Will they both be relevant for their career goals? Are they just curious about exploring a variety of subjects and classes at Brown? No matter the reason, a connection between their interests and a better transition would strengthen this essay.

Additionally, the essay prompt asks students to talk about both topics that interest them and “embracing topics with which you are unfamiliar.” It’s always important to keep the prompt in mind when outlining or writing it. This student wrote a lot about their interests, but it’s a little unclear how they plan to embrace topics with which they’re unfamiliar. Clarifying which topic in this essay the writer hasn’t studied would improve the response and ensure that it directly answers the prompt.

They could say, for example, that the open curriculum allows them to formally study crime, which they’ve always been interested in from listening to true crime podcasts. If the author chooses to include this in their essay, it’s important that they do so to ensure that they’re properly answering the school’s prompt.

Essay Example #2 – Joy in Drawing

Prompt: Brown students care deeply about their work and the world around them. Students find contentment, satisfaction, and meaning in daily interactions and major discoveries. Whether big or small, mundane or spectacular, tell us about something that brings you joy. (200-250 words)

My dusty sketchbook must dread the moments I decide to take it off my desk. Every time I pick it up to use, it results in piles of graphite and eraser shavings everywhere in my room. I’ve gone through so many boxes of pencils, I think Ticonderoga must know me by now. The sketchbook of mine has seen better days – days where it looked pristine and without blemish.

I love to draw. Yes the final result provides fantastic amusement to my eyes, but the process of the entire drawing allures me to this hobby. The second the fine point of my pencil hits the devoid paper, wonders only comparable to music begin to formulate. Each stroke of the pencil leaves a mark surpassing in magnificence to the one before. The freedom to pour out my thoughts into a sheet of paper astonishes me and provides me with a feeling of bliss and comfort.

Each sheet of paper is brimmed with portraits; my loved ones, friends, even strangers take up the space in my book, but for good reason. After I finish each drawing, I simply give it to them. I do cherish the journey I take with my art, but the smile on their faces when I give them my art is nothing less than beautiful. Even the most majestic of artists wouldn’t be able to capture the raw nature of that smile. For that is where I am given the most joy, in the smiles of others.

What The Essay Did Well

This essay does a superb job of using particularly sophisticated and vibrant language! The word choice is memorable and striking, which both keeps readers engaged and demonstrates the author’s broad vocabulary. Vivid images like the dusty sketchbook and the eraser shavings, or the notebook brimming with drawings, draw us in, before phrases like “wonders only comparable to music” and “the raw nature of that smile” drive home the applicant’s deep personal connection to their topic.

The author’s confident, unique voice is another strength here. From the playful tone in the beginning of the essay, to the impassioned description of the student’s process, and finally, the reflection on the humanity of drawing, we get to know the author’s personality. They come across as funny, thoughtful, and generous, thanks to the details they include and the tone they use when presenting them.

Most importantly, the command of language and the personal tone come together to convey the author’s true passion for drawing, and the joy they find in that activity. Ultimately, any college essay needs to address the prompt, which this one does clearly and comprehensively. The mastery of language and vibrant personality are what take the essay from good to great, but the real key to this essay’s success is its connection to the prompt, as without that, Brown admissions officers wouldn’t get the information they’re looking for.

What Could Be Improved

With an essay this strong, it’s tough to imagine what could make it better. At this point, changes would mainly make the essay different, not necessarily better or worse. However, considering alternative approaches can still be productive, since everyone has a slightly different way of telling their story.

For example, the student could have spent a little more time explaining their decision to give their portraits away. Right now, the essay ends with something of a plot twist, as we learn that what brings the student the most joy is in fact not the act of drawing, but the smiles of others after receiving their work.

This “cliffhanger” ending is striking and memorable, but we also miss out on learning more about the student’s personality. Drawing is usually a solitary pursuit, but for this student, it’s clearly a more social activity, and they could have spent a bit more time exploring this aspect of their art to further set themselves apart from other applicants.

Again, though, this suggestion is more likely to subtly shift the tone of the essay than make it drastically better. Calling a college essay “done” can be stressful, but this essay is a good reminder that, at a certain point, your energy is going to be more productively spent on other aspects of your application.

If you’d like to see some more strong examples of the “joy” essay, check out our post dedicated exclusively to this supplement!

Prompt: Brown’s culture fosters a community in which students challenge the ideas of others and have their ideas challenged in return, promoting a deeper and clearer understanding of the complex issues confronting society. This active engagement in dialogue is as present outside the classroom as it is in academic spaces. Tell us about a time you were challenged by a perspective that differed from your own. How did you respond? (200-250 words)

“Spend $300,000 to study ENGLISH!?” my friend chucked. “And do what? Teach A for Apple, B for Buffalo to primary kids?

“B for Ball” I whispered to myself. On my way home, I kept mulling. “Everyone knows English, what’s the need to STUDY it?” his words echoed in my head. Since I was young, I had been intrigued by the beauty of language. Fresh parchment was my petrichor. I could almost smell the raw, crisp paper sending pheromone-releasing signals to my brain, luring me to wield my pen and spill beads of ink on the virgin sheet of emptiness. Words were woven threads of thought, emanating the ineffable processes of the mind. Poetry was my mode of escapism; debate -my partner in crime. “’A for apple, B for ball’, I sadly pondered.

We got down at our houses and I waved him goodbye. My imminent desire to ‘respond’ cowered back into its hole. But maybe I didn’t have to reply. Because curiosity prefaces career and we all have varying definitions of both. Maybe the reason why our choices are challenged is to test if we would hold on to them. This tiny incident taught me 2 crucial lessons- A: Silence is a sign of maturity, not cowardice, and B: Having faith governs the prowess to excel. The next day when I met my friend, I simply smiled and said “The reason we can converse critically is because someone taught us the alphabet. Maybe being a teacher isn’t a bad idea after all.”

This essay is incredibly well written and does a great job of using dialogue throughout the story. The writer begins with an exclamation that grabs the reader’s attention: “Spend $300,000 to study ENGLISH!?” The use of capitals really emphasizes that the problem idea being challenged isn’t the amount of money being paid, but rather that the writer wants to study English.

The dialogue continues as the student describes their internal thoughts and remembers what their friend told them. This is a great way for the reader to learn exactly what the author is thinking and how they feel about what is being said.

The use of “A for apple, B for ball,” becomes a theme and a symbol throughout the essay, as it’s used to symbolize both the writer’s interest in the teaching profession and their friend’s belief that it’s not a good idea.

Finally, the essay ends with dialogue as the writer counters their friend’s doubts and becomes more secure with their own goals. “Maybe being a teacher isn’t a bad idea after all.” This ending reveals how the author ultimately chose to respond to their friend, as well as that the author ultimately remained strong in their own beliefs.

The “A” and “B” theme comes up again when this student spells out the two lessons that they ultimately learned from this experience: “A: Silence is a sign of maturity, not cowardice, and B: Having faith governs the prowess to excel.” This does a great job of summarizing the lessons that the author learned and how they chose to respond to the situation. It’s nice to have this concrete conclusion in an essay containing a lot of lines on thoughts and feelings.

This essay is beautifully written; however, it could be improved by better answering the prompt. The prompt wants to know about how students handle intellectual debate so that Brown University can “promote a deeper and clearer understanding of the complex issues confronting society.”

It seems more like this student’s decision to be a teacher was challenged, rather than a belief about a complex issue. Whether the student should be a student is not presented in this essay as an issue with two reasonable sides, but rather one student’s condescending and unsupported belief that teaching is not a worthy profession.

This is further evidenced by one of the lessons the student takes away, “Silence is a sign of maturity.” Brown University is seeking an essay about a topic that can be debated, not one where the response is silence. The university wants to see how students will handle learning from others who have different views about politics, for example.

If the writer wanted to stick with this topic, then they would need to present the other student’s view as one with which they could have a discussion. Maybe the other student presented valid points about education being a path to increase one’s earning potential. Then, the writer could have a debate with them about the purpose of higher education and its role in their own life.

Make sure that your answer to a prompt like this shows the university how you will handle discourse at their university as you encounter others with views different from your own.

During the earliest stages of my Political club, I was faced with a question by a peer. The club was in a discussion about gun laws in the US and what everyone’s view was on the topic. This specific student seemed very passionate about the issue and made it known that he wanted guns in this country. He began citing examples with store owners protecting themselves from armed robberies and overall self defense in general. He was well versed in the topic but that came to my realization once he asked me what my view was. I subconsciously knew guns were destructive, of course they were, and I wanted to state that. But I couldn’t think of any evidence to support myself. I wasn’t educated in the issue of guns in America other than my raw opinion of guns being “bad”.

But experiences like this motivated me to take that step, I wanted to educate myself on this issue that plunders America. Instead of conforming to his view, I took this opportunity to establish my own foundation and learn of the different instances in our history that would support my opinion. I versed myself in information from resources on the Internet and finally came to my club ready for discussion. But it didn’t end in the transformation of any opinions, instead he understood my judgment and respected it. When challenged with this perspective against my own, I’ve learned that with enough evidence and research, any opinion can be deemed correct.

This essay is a great response to Brown’s dialogue prompt, and a big part of why is how well-chosen this anecdote is. The gun control debate is a contentious and familiar one, so admissions officers will already know the contours of the argument, which saves the writer space by not needing to give much background context. With just 250 words available to you, don’t underestimate the importance of being efficient with your space.

Gun control is also an issue that readers are likely to connect with on a deep, emotional level, which means they’ll take the essay seriously. Additionally, they’re likely to view the author as well-informed and engaged in current events–the fact that the essay’s setting is a politics club underscores the student’s commitment to understanding pressing contemporary issues.

This essay also reveals a few other important aspects of its author’s personality. Chief among these are the author’s humility, self-awareness, and regard for others. For example, when the writer acknowledges their surprise at how well the other student argued his point, and their own lack of knowledge, they show that they can recognize where and how they need to grow.

Being vulnerable in college essays can be difficult, since you’re obviously trying to put your best foot forward. In reality, though, showing you’re aware of your flaws gives admissions officers confidence that you’re going to take full advantage of your time in college, to grow as much as possible. Trying to present yourself as too perfect can come across as clueless or even arrogant.

Finally, the essay’s ending is unexpected and thought-provoking–rather than resolving the issue by having one student “win” the argument, this student explains that the two understood and respected each other’s opinions without changing their own. As a result, the overall narrative isn’t about an argument and final confrontation, but about the author’s lack of information, and their response to it.

This unconventional approach to this prompt tells us a lot about how this applicant approaches complex issues–namely, with the open-mindedness and willingness to learn Brown highlights in the prompt–and, stylistically, helps the essay stick in a reader’s head, which in turn will help this student stand out from the crowd of other applicants.

One of the bigger flaws in this essay is the lack of an obvious takeaway. It’s unclear what exactly the author means when they say that any opinion can be deemed correct. It seems like the point they’re trying to make is that many different opinions can be valid and supported by evidence. This is quite a different statement than saying any opinion can be correct. The former is a reasonable point, and a good lesson to take away from this experience. The latter is a very big, absolute statement, that isn’t really supported by the story.

Though this is just one line in a 250-word essay, endings carry a lot of weight, since they’re obviously the last thing admissions officers read, and thus are likely to stick in their mind. Spending a bit more time making sure that your ending accurately reflects the ideas of your essay is definitely going to be worth your while.

Additionally, in a few subtle ways, the writing in this essay isn’t as fluent as it could be. It’s still a well-written essay, but overall, the structure and flow of the writing is a bit off.

For example, when the author talks about debating with a friend in a club, they say “He was well versed in the topic but that came to my realization once he asked me what my view was.” The word but implies that the second part of the sentence contradicts the first, but that’s not true here.

Similarly, while many students feel the urge to show off their vocabulary as much as possible, clarity in your essay is ultimately the most important thing, and some word choices in this essay don’t work as well as others. To give an example, when the author says “this issue that plunders America,” the verb “plunders” seems a bit off, given its definition: to steal goods. Snags like this can be caught by an editor, or by reading aloud to a friend or oneself.

Let’s now compare this essay’s strong and weak points to those of the following essay, which is a different response to the same prompt.

I learned a new slur during my first day on my slam team.

The “M-word,” coined by the former president, was “melanin.” To her, Black poetry was overdone, so she advised Black teammates to avoid racial topics, fearing they would “bore the judges.”

“We get it— you’re black,” she quipped, “can you talk about anything else?” Following that meeting, I avoided Black poetry. My racial experience was a broken record— an earworm of sob stories over events only read about in history books.

However, after experiencing all the distinctive, poignant Black pieces at my first slam competition, I realized that we do art a disservice when we try to police or limit others’ creations. Moreover, I learned that seniority should never eclipse core values.

This insight stirred my young POC writers initiative years later— a global support system for marginalized creatives. Complete with virtual open mics, advice forums, and resource directories, my goal was to create a safe haven for underrepresented writers and be the mentor I craved during my first slam meeting.

However, respecting my former president’s intentions, I urge my creatives within the initiative to chase uniqueness in their art. Today, I play with several nuances of racism in my writing. In one piece, I explore Black boys as recyclables in the prison system. In another, I use evolutionary theory to hypothesize a truly “post-racial” America.

During my first day as president of my slam team, I taught my poets a new phrase: artistic freedom.

What This Essay Did Well

In this essay, we learn a lot about who this applicant is, and what matters to them. We learn not only about how they respond to different opinions, but also about their passion for slam poetry, their appreciation for Black artistry, and their mentoring of younger peers just getting into slam poetry. The anecdotes are well-chosen, as we continuously learn new details about the applicant throughout the course of the essay.

A strength that contrasts with the first essay is this example’s fluency and command of language. Unsurprisingly for a slam poet, the writer utilizes creative, accurate vocabulary, diverse and sophisticated sentence structure, and a cohesive narrative flow. The author is clearly a great writer, and this essay demonstrates that.

Finally, this applicant’s introduction has an unusual, provocative angle that grabs readers’ attention right from the first sentence. This hook ensures that we are engaged and invested in their story from beginning to end, as we wonder whether this odd piece of advice will be accepted or rejected.

Like the previous example for this prompt, the author takes an unexpected route. Though they ultimately reject the mandate not to write about race, they acknowledge and appreciate the idea behind this rule, before reframing that rule in a more positive, affirming way, which encourages young slam poets to tell unique, diverse stories, rather than imposing a blanket ban on any one topic.

The fact that this student is pioneering that outlook within the club says a lot about them as a leader by example who grew from their own experience and refuses to limit their peers the way they were once limited.

One thing about this essay that may come across differently than the author hoped is their mention of the so-called “m-word.” While this stands for ‘melanin’ in their essay, there is a real life “m-word,” which is considered a slur against people with dwarfism.

Though the author immediately clarifies that they are using the phrase “m-word” to refer to a completely different word, their use of the term may initially be off-putting to those familiar with the actual slur. Since admissions officers read these essays so quickly, you want to avoid potentially coming across as ignorant, even for just a second, as that can throw them off and take them out of the flow of your story.

There are other ways to start off this essay that preserve the overall provocative, unique feel, and don’t run the risk of unintentionally offending. For example, the student could have said something like “I always thought ‘four letter word’ was the right slang for swear words, but on my first day on my slam team, I learned a seven-letter bad word: melanin.”

When using invented or uncommon language, especially something as potentially offensive as slurs, it’s best to do your research and ensure that the term you’re using doesn’t have another meaning that may change the light in which an admissions committee views you or your essay.

Prompt: Committing to a future career as a physician while in high school requires careful consideration and self-reflection. What values and experiences have led you to believe that becoming a doctor in medicine is the right fit for you? (200-250 words)

I never wanted to be a doctor. When my South Asian grandparents claimed that women have to go into medicine, I promised them that would never happen in my case. This irrational hatred continued until a certain opportunity contributed to a change in my perspective.

I decided to volunteer at a local medical center, initially to earn volunteer hours. But the more I delved into the high-speed environment, the more it seemed to fit me. I was confident when talking to hospital staff and found myself always trying to learn more from the radiologists or surgeons I met. I was ready to learn what the white region on the CT scan was, or the risks of a certain procedure a patient was going through.

My persona also changed when speaking to patients, my voice becoming clear and soothing. When a patient was agitated that he couldn’t get out of his wheelchair, I rushed to his side, calmly encouraging him while nurses helped the patient get on his feet. My reaction to working at the hospital was unexpected but perfect, making me realize that I would be a good fit for this career.

I know I will succeed as a physician because I disliked the field before I loved it. I look forward to improving someone’s life and being a part of a team that puts patients first. I know my ability can be used to change the lives of my patients, making me a perfect candidate for a future physician.

This essay, which is essentially a “Why Major?” essay (the actual question is “Why Career?” but most of the same principles apply) grabs the reader’s attention right from the start, with an unusual premise that is sure to stand out to admissions officers. The author crafts a deeply personal story about their path to medicine, through which they demonstrate true commitment to patients and a passion that came from within, not others telling them what to be.

Another powerful moment in this essay is the ending, when the author summarizes all that will make them a good physician. Here, they recap the values they’ve shown in this essay: caring for patients, putting them first, and changing lives. Remember, the conclusion of your essay naturally carries additional weight, since it will be the last thing in your reader’s mind. With their final line, this author shows not only the skills they possess, but their view of these skills as crucial for any good doctor to have. We learn not just about the applicant, but about how they view the practice of medicine as a whole.

One thing that we would’ve loved to see is a bit more explanation around the sentence “I know I will succeed as a physician because I disliked the field before I loved it.” This is a compelling sentiment, which is definitely unlikely to show up in many other PLME essays, but the lack of further explanation is definitely a flaw.

Why would disliking the field before loving it lead to a better career as a physician? After all, many doctors have always been drawn to medicine–are they worse at their jobs as a result? If the author were to spell out what they mean more explicitly, or spend more time unpacking the implications of this idea, their point would be much stronger.

More broadly, it can definitely be tempting to include these kinds of bold statements in your college essays, as they are certainly attention-grabbing. But if you do, you want to make sure they are fully supported, either by the narrative itself or a couple of lines of explanation. Otherwise, they may come across as edgy just for the sake of it, rather than demonstrating that you are a creative, sophisticated thinker.

Another thing that could strengthen this essay would be a deeper dive into some of the applicant’s other qualities illustrated in this essay. For example, when talking about their volunteer work, they briefly touch on their affinity for the fast-paced environment. A little more detail here would go a long way towards helping us envision them in the hectic environment of a hospital one day, especially since at this point in the essay, they’re explaining how they went from disliking medicine to enjoying it. This shift is the crux of the whole essay, so it’s crucial that readers fully understand how it happened.

Or, just a few sentences later, they say “I was ready to learn what the white region on the CT scan was, or the risks of a certain procedure a patient was going through. ” This curiosity and passion for knowledge are even more examples of their fitness for the medical profession, and they would do well to expand on them–again, so that we can more clearly imagine them eventually working as an actual doctor.

Do you want feedback on your Brown essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!