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The Costco Essay Deconstructed

Article updated on November 15, 2019

Students searching for exemplary examples of college admissions essays may already be familiar with what has come to be known as The Costco Essay , but it is worth digging a little deeper to understand how this essay that “ got a high school senior in to 5 Ivy League colleges ” actually works.

Many people have noted that the essay alone did not get the student admitted to all these schools, rather it was the totality of her application. This is of course true! We have ourselves written extensively about the 11 distinct criteria colleges use to evaluate applicants, but the fact remains that when so many students have great grades and test scores, your college essays are clearly an important opportunity to stand out.

I caution all my students not to read an excessive amount of examples, because it can become overwhelming to compare too many glowing finished essays to one’s own blank page or early draft in progress.  But if you read in the right spirit, I believe a few examples can be both instructive and inspiring. I have tried to explain some of what I find compelling about the Costco Essay.

Prompt 1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Now more than ever, colleges are affirming the weight given to a student’s character as it comes through across all elements of an application. So have no illusions that grades and test scores make one applicant more qualified or deserving of admission to college than another. We are not looking at the whole application, but in addition to being well written, this essay demonstrates of the kind of character that Ivy League and all colleges want on their campus.

Thanks for reading!

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Read the College Essay About Costco That Got This Senior Into 5 Ivy League Schools

From Cosmopolitan

Meet Brittany Stinson, an 18-year-old senior at Concord High School in Wilmington, Delaware, who just last week found out she got into Yale, Columbia, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, Cornell, Columbia, and Stanford. What is so special about Stinson, you might ask? Besides the fact she's undoubtedly an excellent student, she wrote her college essay on Costco. Yes, Costco.

"I'm sort of still in shock. I don't think I've processed everything yet," she told Business Insider , with whom she shared the entire essay.

The Common Application prompt was: "Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story." Stinson felt her background as a "Costco veteran" was meaningful enough to share and she was right.

Her essay begins:

Managing to break free from my mother's grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother's eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon ­sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial­-sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco. Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar-­fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I've developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight-­loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well­-mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity.

It takes a brilliant creature to elevate stuffing your face with free samples to a metaphor about having an appetite for life and approaching obstacles with curiosity instead of fear, but that's exactly what she did. You can read her essay in full over on Business Insider ... and spend the rest of the day thinking about what you plan to accomplish with the rest of your life.

Follow Tess on Twitter .

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Professors share 5 myths students believe about college, anxiety among students: what do teachers think about it, decoding the success of the costco college essay: a reddit discussion deep dive.

The Costco college essay has gained widespread attention and recognition for its unique approach to the college admissions process. Written by Brittany Stinson, the essay detailed her experiences at Costco and how they shaped her curiosity and love for learning. In this article, we explore the Reddit thread discussing this essay and take a deep dive into the opinions and insights of its users. We will also shed light on the background of the Costco college essay and provide valuable tips for writing a captivating and memorable college essay.

The Costco College Essay: Background

Brittany Stinson’s Costco college essay went viral in 2016 when she was accepted into five Ivy League schools and Stanford. The essay is a prime example of how creativity and authenticity can make a significant impact on college admissions officers. With its relatable narrative and unique perspective, the essay has become a benchmark for students looking to write compelling college essays.

The Costco essay, penned by Brittany Stinson, has become a notable point of reference in the realm of college admissions, for its distinctiveness, effectiveness, and the impressive results it garnered. But what is it about the Costco essay that really made it stand out? This piece will explore the distinct aspects of this essay and delve into why it struck such a chord with Ivy League admissions officers.

Brittany Stinson’s Common App Essay, colloquially known as the ‘Costco essay’, is a personal statement that catapulted her into the limelight during the Ivy League admissions cycle. It showcased her ability to transform an everyday experience into a compelling narrative and unique essay topic, turning a mundane trip to Costco into an allegory of her intellectual curiosity.

When Ivy League admissions officers read personal statements, they are looking for insight into the applicant’s personality, values, and potential contributions to their institution. They want to see genuine passion and the unique perspective each student brings. Brittany Stinson’s Costco essay offered all of this, her Costco shopping journey providing a creative metaphor for her academic journey and insatiable appetite for knowledge.

Writing an essay for your college application, specifically the Common App essay, can be daunting. Finding the perfect topic that showcases your identity, while also intriguing the admissions officers is not an easy task. Yet, the Costco essay serves as an example of how selecting a unique essay topic, one that is both personal and engaging, can make your personal statement shine in the eyes of Ivy League admissions officers.

Brittany Stinson transformed a routine trip to Costco into a thought-provoking, insightful, and yes, successful personal essay. This essay didn’t just mention her desire for learning; it illustrated it, painting a vivid picture of a young woman eager to consume knowledge as enthusiastically as she consumes a Costco-sized vat of her favorite ice cream.

The Costco essay was successful in capturing the attention of admissions officers at highly selective schools because it was authentic and creatively addressed the prompt. It exhibited Brittany’s personality, her intellectual curiosity, her humor, and her observational skills.

Yet, the Costco essay isn’t just about picking a unique essay topic; it’s about crafting an authentic narrative. The personal essay or personal statement you submit as part of your college application should tell a story about you, about how you see the world, and how you engage with it.

So, as we explore the impressive achievements of Brittany Stinson and the Costco essay that was an integral part of her college application, we learn a vital lesson: the best personal statements, the ones that truly stand out to college admissions officers, are those that tell a genuine and captivating story. They can find profundity in the mundane, transform an ordinary topic into an extraordinary narrative, and above all, they are a true reflection of the applicant.

Whether it’s about a trip to Costco or a love for biochemistry, a successful personal essay is one that combines a unique topic with a personal narrative, effectively showcasing the qualities that would make an applicant an asset to their dream college.

Analyzing the Costco Essay: Reddit’s Opinions

In a popular Reddit thread, users discussed and rated the Costco essay. The thread highlighted several aspects of the essay that made it stand out and prompted valuable insights on what makes a strong college essay.

A Unique Approach to the Common App Prompt

One user mentioned that the Costco essay demonstrates how taking a unique approach to a Common App prompt can lead to a memorable essay. Stinson’s essay was not only well-written but also offered an unconventional perspective on an everyday experience, which captured the attention of admissions officers.

Creativity and Authenticity

Another user emphasized the importance of creativity and authenticity in the Costco essay. Stinson’s writing conveyed her genuine passion and curiosity, making her essay stand out from the thousands of other applicants. The user also noted that a successful college essay should showcase the applicant’s true self and not just focus on accomplishments.

Engagement with the Reader

The Costco essay excels in engaging the reader, as one Reddit user pointed out. Stinson’s essay maintained a conversational tone and included vivid descriptions that made it enjoyable to read. This user stressed the importance of keeping the reader engaged throughout the essay, making them more likely to remember the applicant and their story.

Avoiding Clichés and Overused Topics

One user noted that the Costco essay’s strength lies in its ability to avoid clichés and overused topics. Many college essays discuss similar themes or experiences, which can make them blend together. The Costco essay stood out by exploring an unconventional topic, demonstrating the impact of choosing a unique subject matter for a college essay.

The Importance of Storytelling

A Reddit user highlighted the importance of storytelling in the Costco essay. Stinson’s narrative created a compelling story that showcased her personality, growth, and passions. By incorporating storytelling elements into a college essay, applicants can leave a lasting impression on admissions officers.

Conclusion: Learning from the Costco College Essay

The Costco college essay serves as an excellent example of how creativity, authenticity, and storytelling can make a significant impact on the college admissions process. By exploring the opinions and insights shared by Reddit users, we can learn valuable lessons about writing engaging and memorable college essays. As you craft your own college essay, remember to stay true to yourself, choose a unique and engaging topic, and focus on creating a compelling narrative that captures the attention of admissions officers.

In conclusion, the magic of the Costco essay lies in its ability to take a seemingly ordinary experience and extract from it a narrative that is engaging, unique, and utterly personal. Brittany Stinson’s successful college application serves as a reminder to all students that an impressive personal statement isn’t dependent on grandiose achievements or a dramatic life event. Instead, it is about presenting your unique perspective on the world, using your personal experiences as a lens through which to view your academic and personal growth.

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Essay About Love for Costco Wins Student Admission to Five Ivies

A college essay about one teen's drive to explore life — as well as her deep and abiding love for Costco — has won over admissions counselors at six of the most prestigious schools in the U.S.

Brittany Stinson, an 18-year-old senior at Concord High School in Wilmington, Delaware, found out last week that she got into five Ivy League universities — Yale, Columbia, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, and Cornell — as well as the similarly competitive Stanford.

Stinson, the only child of Terry and Joe Stinson, neither of whom are Ivy League nor Stanford graduates themselves, wants to be a doctor, and her mother says she has always been a strong student.

Special section: Get tips and advice about college at College Game Plan

“She’s always gotten straight As, takes the most rigorous courses she can, and is first in her class,” Terry Stinson, a Brazilian immigrant who became an American citizen only a few years ago, told NBC News.

Aside from her academics, Stinson's unusual essay made her college application stand out.

In response to the essay question, which asks students to share a "background, identity, interest or talent that is so meaningful," their application would be incomplete without it, Stinson described her admiration for America's largest wholesale warehouse — and how "the kingdom of Costco" was symbolic of so much more in her life.

“Just as I sampled buffalo ­chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious,” she wrote. “I sampled calculus, cross-­country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world.”

Writing about Costco felt natural to her, she told NBC News.

“I had always gone to Costco while growing up. It was a constant part of my childhood. I Iooked forward to trips on the weekends, and I had always treated it as a Disneyland of sorts. I was always curious about the place. The same attitude carried over to everything I tried in life,” she said.

While it was risky to write about something so outlandish, Stinson felt like she needed something to stand out amid other applicants with similar grades, extracurriculars, and SAT scores.

“I couldn’t afford to go via the traditional route. I would actually be more worried about taking a traditional route at the risk of blending in with other applicants,” Stinson said. “I knew that writing about my experiences at Costco would at least make for a memorable essay, whether [admissions committees] loved or hated it. On another hand, I felt that the essay ended up being such an accurate representation of me and my personality.”

Related: After Bouncing Between Foster Homes, Golf Caddie Gets Full Ride to College

Stinson’s father, Joe, said he believes his daughter’s greatest strengths are “her fortitude and tenacity, to choose among many.” Her English teacher for the past two years, Leslie Wagner of Concord High School, says writing is one of those strengths too.

“Brittany has always had a knack for finding just the right phrase. She has a quiet demeanor overall, but in her writing her wit and her skill with language is quite apparent,” Wagner told NBC News.

Now, Stinson has a tough choice ahead of her. She said she has “no clue” which of the universities that admitted her she will choose.

“Admitted student day visits are going to be so vital. We’ll also be comparing financial aid packages,” she said.

Read Brittany Stinson's full essay below, reprinted with her permission:

Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon­-sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial­sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco.

Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar-­fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight-­loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well­-mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity.

While enjoying an obligatory hot dog, I did not find myself thinking about the ‘all beef’ goodness that Costco boasted. I instead considered finitudes and infinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motion of said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from a speedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty-­three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will? I experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing a shopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia's workings. With a cart filled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit, continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cart escaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52” plasma screen TV and all. Purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to a conversation between my father and me about Andrew Jackson’s controversiality. There was no questioning Old Hickory’s dedication; he was steadfast in his beliefs and pursuits – qualities I am compelled to admire, yet his morals were crooked. We both found the ham to be more likeable–and tender.

I adopted my exploratory skills, fine tuned by Costco, towards my intellectual endeavors. Just as I sampled buffalo­-chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. I sampled calculus, cross­-country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world. Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest.

My intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; this is what defines me. Costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiosity within me at a cellular level. Encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, I find it difficult to complacently accept the “what”; I want to hunt for the “whys” and dissect the “hows”. In essence, I subsist on discovery.

Costco College Essay: An Analysis

Yep, that’s right: it’s the famous Costco college essay that got Brittany Stinson into five Ivy League schools. Said schools include Columbia, Yale, UPenn, Cornell, and Dartmouth.

Now, this application essay was considered one of the “quintessential college essays” that every student was expected to strive for. It had a lot of positive attributes to it, notably its creativity, that made the college essay so strong in the application.

But here’s the thing: there are also mistakes in this essay that future applicants should be wary of.

It’s okay though. Here at PenningPapers, we try not to be a Negative Nancy. In fact, we just want to provide the most value from our admissions advice so that our clients and readers get the most useful analysis.

It just so happens that the Costco College essay covers a wide range of topics that could be useful for our readers to know.

We want our readers to be well-equipped to face their own college applications; thusly so, we have compiled a list of both the primary positive and negative attributes of the Costco college essay.

The Costco College Essay

Prompt 1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon­sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial­sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco. Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar­fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight­loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well­mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity. While enjoying an obligatory hot dog, I did not find myself thinking about the ‘all beef’ goodness that Costco boasted. I instead considered finitudes and infinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motion of said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from a speedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty­three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will? I experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing a shopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia’s workings. With a cart filled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit, continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cart escaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52″ plasma screen TV and all. Purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to a conversation between my father and me about Andrew Jackson’s controversiality. There was no questioning Old Hickory’s dedication; he was steadfast in his beliefs and pursuits – qualities I am compelled to admire, yet his morals were crooked. We both found the ham to be more likeable-and tender. I adopted my exploratory skills, fine tuned by Costco, towards my intellectual endeavors. Just as I sampled buffalo­chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart-one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. I sampled calculus, cross­country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world. Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest. My intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; this is what defines me. Costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiosity within me at a cellular level. Encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, I find it difficult to complacently accept the “what”; I want to hunt for the “whys” and dissect the “hows”. In essence, I subsist on discovery.

The Costco College Essay: Critique

Unique Topic: This seems to be an underrated one. There are plenty of essays about serving as a camp counselor, and plenty more about playing the violin. The value of a unique topic like Costco is that it provides admissions officers with something different to read from the hundreds of thousands of similar essays. Having a unique topic in your college essay will make admissions officers love your story more than others who have less special ones.

Interesting Narrative: a strong narrative is arguably one of the most vital parts of the college admissions process. If you can capture the attention of the admissions officers with your words, you can put yourself in a much more positive light than the rest of the competition. Take this one for example: “. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty­three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will?”

Now, we do want to clarify that writing this well correctly and effectively so that the admissions officers DON’T find your essay ostentatious and overbearing is hard. There is a fine line between having capturing language and having pretentious language.

We recommend that if you feel uncomfortable with writing in this style but would still like to beat out the rest of the competition in the admissions pool, you should speak to our admissions experts to talk about how you can get your college essay edited.

Outdated subject: Whichever subject you talk about, make sure that it is not too far from your current year. The farther away your experience is from high school, the more irrelevant it becomes. It is very hard for people to believe that a child’s characteristics have transferred to their adult selves.

More importantly, admissions officers would like to know more about how you changed in the current time; there is little use in knowing what positive changes or character traits you’ve had in the past.

Cliché “thirst for knowledge”: There’s not much else to say about this section other than the fact that writing that you have a “thirst for knowledge” has been overdone. There are plenty of students who write that they are curious and are always learning. Unfortunately, this has become so saturated that it is sometimes even mocked in not just the admissions process but in job applications too. Even business gurus have been mocked for it: take Tai Lopez and his regrettable “knowledge” video.  

Corny ending: Here at Penningpapers, the intro paragraph is the most important paragraph of all, but that doesn’t mean the ending paragraph should be neglected. A bad ending paragraph will still leave a bad taste in the admissions officer’s mouth. So, what’s wrong with the ending? Well, it’s the mention of the “whys” “hows” and the “in essence.” These are famous lines that parallel Nietzsche’s quote “He who has a why can bear any how”. The “whys” and “hows” have been overplayed, and in STEM related college essays, we’ve found that the words “in essense” more times than we could count. The essay in all wasn’t particularly bad, but hearing the last paragraph made us want to puke.

In short, Brittany Stinson’s Costco college essay wasn’t perfect, but it was certainly a piece that stood out amongst the rest of the admissions essays. Perhaps you, dear reader, would like to make your admissions essay perfect. Perhaps you would like to make it as good as possible to remove any doubt of college acceptance, or even make up for poor scores. Perhaps it is too difficult to compete in the admissions process because your dream school is far too prestigious and competitive.

For that, we recommend you shoot us a call or send us a message so we can take a look at your application because remember: even the best application essays have critical flaws without editing!    

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A high school senior who got into 5 Ivy League schools and Stanford reveals how she chose her essay topic

Editor's note: A high school senior named Brittany Stinson earned the education world's attention in April 2016 with a unique college application essay set at Costco.

With early admission deadlines looming, Business Insider decided to republish her timeless advice below.

High-school senior Brittany Stinson learned on Tuesday that she was accepted into five Ivy League schools: Yale, Columbia, the University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, and Cornell.

She also got into Stanford, which has an acceptance rate of 4.69% — a lower rate than any of the Ivy League schools.

Stinson shared her Common Application essay with Business Insider at the time, which we published  in full here .

It was a lighthearted reflection of her inquisitive personality, told against a backdrop of her childhood trips to Costco.

Stinson explained how she chose her topic.

"Before I even started writing an essay, I read a quote from an admissions officer that said if your essay is on the ground and there is no name on it and one of your friends picks it up, they should know that you wrote it," she said. "I used that to help guide me."

Stinson also acknowledged the difficulty of expressing herself in fewer than 1,000 words.

With that in mind, Stinson said, "I really tried to think of my defining qualities, and narrowed it down to one or two qualities I wanted to convey to admissions officers."

In the end, Stinson used a playful tone to convey those qualities. At one point, she said that her purchase of a hickory-smoked ham at Costco spurred a conversation between her and her father about the controversial nature of former US President Andrew Jackson — aka "Old Hickory."

This humorous approach likely distinguished her essay from the thousands of others Yale and other schools received.

"I knew I was capable of weaving in humor into the essay," she said, "and I knew that with kids that have similar extracurriculars and scores, you need to stand out when it comes to the essay."

Watch: Asian-American groups are saying affirmative action hurts their chances to get into Ivy League schools

• Main content

ICYMI- Why The Costco College Essay Is Crucial Reading for Future College Applicants

At this point, it’s almost been impossible to avoid reading about the amazing Costco college essay that secured one lucky applicant admission to several Ivies and Stanford. It’s a great essay, but not everyone seems to understand why, so CEA Founder Stacey Brook broke it down and offered some lessons that everyone can take away from this well-executed piece of prose:

By now you have probably heard about or read the college essay by high schooler Brittany Stinson detailing how her routine trips to Costco shaped her life and world. In the piece, now officially at viral status , Stinson paints a vivid picture of how wandering up and down the aisles at her favorite big box store inspired her to ponder the addictive nature of Nutella, imagine physics experiments involving 3-pound tubs of sour cream and converse with her father about historical figures who share their aliases with giant hams . The essay is clever, warm and highly observant and introspective. If Costco is a kingdom, as Brittany claims, she is currently its reigning Queen. […]

The Business Insider piece that originally introduced Stinson’s essay to the world framed her success in their title: “This Essay Got a High School Senior Into 5 Ivy League Schools and Stanford.” As a college essay expert and advisor, I would love to be able to tell you that a college essay can get you into the school of your dreams. But the truth is, a wide array of factors are considered in admissions decisions and the essay is just one of them. And media attention that focuses exclusively on students who gain admission to multiple Ivy League Institutions sends the wrong message to students (and parents) about what is important and why they should pay attention to Stinson’s writing.

Stinson’s essay was not her ticket to admission. It was a thoughtfully crafted, brilliantly executed piece of a very complex puzzle. Still, the college essay is a highly significant piece of the puzzle in that it is one of the only opportunities students have to speak to admissions officers in their own voices and highlight something about their personalities or passions that allows them to stand our from other, similarly qualified candidates.

So what should students and parents take away from the Costco essay?

Read the rest at Huffington Post .

About Thea Hogarth

View all posts by Thea Hogarth »

Written by Thea Hogarth

Category: College Admissions , Essay Tips

Tags: advice , college acceptance , college applications , college essay , costco , huffington post , tips

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A high schooler was accepted to five Ivy League colleges with an essay about Costco

It took just a few short hours on Apr. 1 for Concord High School senior Brittany Stinson to go viral. Not because she staged an epic prank—though more than a few skeptics assumed that her sudden notoriety was an April Fool’s Day fakeout—but for her very real, decidedly eccentric college applications essay that helped garner her admission to five Ivy League colleges and Stanford University.

The essay isn’t your typical exercise in academic humblebragging or lofty save-the-world aspiration: It’s a nostalgic, free-form musing on the  joys of shopping at Costco with her mom . And while it shows a young essayist’s tendency to overwrite (the Achilles heel of some of us older wordsmiths as well), it also provides insight into a mind that takes creative risks and thinks with expansive originality.

Coming as it does in the thick of a heated debate over  “holistic” evaluation standards  at elite colleges—admissions practices that extend beyond comparing grades and scores to include assessments of character and the impact of background and cultural identity on a student’s academic journey—Stinson’s essay has generated a whirling array of reactions. After being posted on Business Insider last week, her essay was read over a million times and shared many thousands more on social media.

Many have found it charming and compelling, while others have attacked it as an example of the antics holistic admissions practices encourage among applicants hoping to stand out. The truth is, these two opinions aren’t mutually exclusive. Stinson’s SAT scores were in the high 90-something percentile (she wouldn’t say exactly her score) and she’s on track to graduate as her class’s valedictorian. Meanwhile, she participated in highly competitive STEM programs, loaded up on AP classes, was a competitive cross-country runner, and an active participant in her local community.

“I’d definitely fit in with the nerds, although the kids at our school would probably categorize us as the overachievers, instead,” Stinson says. “I’d like to study neuroscience in college. I volunteered in a research lab working on a genetics project at the University of Delaware. This was one of my favorite extracurriculars. I’m definitely pursuing research in college.”

All of these factors mark her as a strong candidate for an elite university. Of course, tens of thousands of other applicants had similarly outstanding academic and extracurricular profiles this year. Stinson’s essay, however, must have suggested to schools that she would bring with her a unique and interesting point of view.

Stinson acknowledges that her status as the daughter of a Brazilian immigrant mother who identifies as black, and a white US-born father, likely gave her admissions case a boost.

“I did declare my race and ethnicity on my applications. I think my background likely made my application stand out and impacted it positively,” she says, noting that she is also a proponent of affirmative action policies. “Many who criticize affirmative action think that nearly all minority admitted students are somehow less qualified, undeserving, or that ‘they took a spot’ from a more deserving non-minority student. I think that affirmative action makes a well-qualified minority student stand out, but it will never cause an unqualified student to be admitted. Non-minorities are still benefiting from a system built in their favor.”

At the same time, as clearly evidenced by Stinson, striving for diversity isn’t just about redress for past and present inequities. It’s also about bringing together a group of people with different ways of looking at the world—people who will spend four or more years side by side, learning from and being shaped by fresh and unique perspectives.

”College is a place where we learn just as much outside the classroom as we do inside,” says Stinson. “By being exposed to people of different races, socioeconomic backgrounds, cultures, and religions, we can learn from their experiences. Diversity enriches an education.”

While surprised that her essay has received so much attention, Stinson said she thinks it may have resonated because of the universality of its thesis.

“I’ve seen negative comments online from people who weren’t familiar with the literary devices I was trying to use. I’ve seen people say that it’s ‘ridiculous’ that my essay involved Costco, but I don’t think they’ve even scratched the surface,” she says. “They think that in order for an essay to have depth, it needs to involve tragedy, inspiration, or overcoming adversity. I don’t know if many applicants usually explore the mundane in their essays—that seems to have taken a lot of people by surprise. I thought that this essay was a genuine representation of myself: I’m a sarcastic, dorky weirdo with a passion for science and I tried to demonstrate that I’m the kind of person who finds meaning in seemingly ordinary things.”

Which might well be the perfect summary of the college experience: It’s a chapter in life during which young people go off to find meaning in seemingly ordinary things—most particularly, in other people.

For universities, this means recruiting student bodies that represent the best and brightest of a world of worlds: Diversity of heritage and faith, of nationality and culture, of class and familial background, and yes, of race and ethnicity.

Evaluating students by scores and grades alone can’t deliver on that promise. Only by understanding the person behind the scholarly achievements, and the context in which they were earned, can universities build a student body that reflects the kaleidoscopic array of ideas, traditions, and perspectives of our increasingly global society. Which means that those who  attack holistic admissions  fail to recognize that diversity isn’t an irrelevant factor in the making of an elite college education—it is, as Stinson points out, the very thing that makes these schools worth attending.

Here is Stinson’s essay, republished below with her permission:

Prompt 1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon-­sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial­ sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco. Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar-­fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight­-loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well­mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity.

While enjoying an obligatory hot dog, I did not find myself thinking about the “all beef” goodness that Costco boasted. I instead considered finitudes and infinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motion of said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from a speedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty-­three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will? I experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing a shopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia’s workings. With a cart filled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit, continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cart escaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52-inch plasma screen TV and all. Purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to a conversation between my father and me about Andrew Jackson’s controversiality. There was no questioning Old Hickory’s dedication; he was steadfast in his beliefs and pursuits—qualities I am compelled to admire, yet his morals were crooked. We both found the ham to be more likable–and tender. I adopted my exploratory skills, fine-tuned by Costco, towards my intellectual endeavors. Just as I sampled buffalo­-chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. I sampled calculus, cross­-country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world. Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest. My intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; this is what defines me. Costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiosity within me at a cellular level. Encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, I find it difficult to complacently accept the “what”; I want to hunt for the “whys” and dissect the “hows”. In essence, I subsist on discovery.

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This teen’s comic essay about costco got her into five ivy league schools.

No need to be an all-American athlete and lead in the high school musical who’s able to recite Chaucer in perfect Middle English to get into an Ivy League school — just head to Costco!

A Delaware teen got into five Ivies — Yale, Columbia, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth and Cornell — after penning an essay about her admiration for America’s largest members-only wholesale club.

Brittany Stinson’s 655-word ode to Costco was a response to a Common Application admissions essay question that asked applicants to share something that was so important that their lives would feel “incomplete without it.”

“I had always gone to Costco growing up — it was a constant part of my childhood,” the 17-year-old told NBC News. “I looked forward to trips on the weekends and I had always treated it as Disneyland of sorts. I was always curious about the place.”

“The same attitude carried over to everything I tried in life,” she added.

Stinson opened the essay, which she released in full to Business Insider , with her earliest memories of going grocery shopping with her mother.

“Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrialized freezers, to explore every crevice,” she wrote. “I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples.”

‘If there exists a thirty-three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will?’  - Brittany Stinson

As she got older, she began thinking more metaphysically about the weekly trips.

“I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty-three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will?” she asked.

Stinson said she often found herself lost in thought about the bulk sizes Costco offered its customers — crediting the nationwide chain with kickstarting her “unfettered curiosity” in life.

“Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well-mannered than its uncultured counterpart?”

The variety of options on the shelves also enhanced her exploratory skills.

“Just as I sampled buffalo chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart — one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious,” she wrote.

“With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world,” she continued. “Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest.”

The straight-A student from Wilmington found out last week that she got into the Ivies — along with a sixth top-tier school, Stanford — that have acceptance rates ranging from Stanford’s 4.69 percent to Cornell’s 13.96 percent.

“Incredibly difficult decisions soon to come,” she wrote on her Facebook page last Thursday.

• Smart Living

This High School Student Got Into 5 Ivy Leagues With a Brilliant Essay About . . . Costco?

The popular saying-turned-cliché "write what you know" has long been used as the steadfast rule for high school students and novelists alike. Well, for her college admissions essay, one high school senior did just that — and it turns out that she knows Costco . She knows Costco really well.

A current senior at Concord High School in Wilmington, DE, Brittany Stinson has garnered attention for her brilliant essay (since shared with Business Insider ) about the beloved wholesale store that ended up getting her into five Ivy League universities: Columbia, Dartmouth, Cornell, Yale, and the University of Pennsylvania. Stinson was also admitted to Stanford — which is known for its notoriously low acceptance rate.

In her essay, Stinson recognized Costco as the invariable "apex of consumerism" that it is but also as the sprawling space that nurtured her curiosity at a young age. Below, you can read her full essay, which continues to delight readers and prove that those acceptance letters were well-deserved.

Managing to break free from my mother's grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother's eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial-sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco. Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar­fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I've developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight­loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well-mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity. While enjoying an obligatory hot dog, I did not find myself thinking about the 'all beef' goodness that Costco boasted. I instead considered finitudes and infinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motion of said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from a speedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty-three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will? I experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing a shopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia's workings. With a cart filled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit, continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cart escaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52" plasma screen TV and all. Purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to a conversation between my father and me about Andrew Jackson's controversiality. There was no questioning Old Hickory's dedication; he was steadfast in his beliefs and pursuits — qualities I am compelled to admire, yet his morals were crooked. We both found the ham to be more likeable — and tender. I adopted my exploratory skills, fine tuned by Costco, towards my intellectual endeavors. Just as I sampled buffalo chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart — one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. I sampled calculus, cross country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world. Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest. My intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; this is what defines me. Costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiosity within me at a cellular level. Encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, I find it difficult to complacently accept the "what"; I want to hunt for the "whys" and dissect the "hows". In essence, I subsist on discovery.

How Brittany Stinson Wrote Her Costco Essay

by j9robinson | May 12, 2016

A Q&A With The Author of the Viral Costco Essay

Last month, Brittany Stinson learned she got into five Ivy League colleges, as well as Stanford and many other top schools.

When a newspaper reporter asked her to share her college application essay, Brittany didn’t think twice.

Within hours, her essay went viral.

More than 1.6 million people, and counting, have now read the “Costco essay.”

Brittany, who has decided to attend Stanford, was as shocked as anyone by the media frenzy .

The Media Backlash to Brittany’s Costco Essay

Besides the predictable backlash from Internet trolls and haters, the assumption that this Costco essay earned Brittany all these stellar acceptances disturbed her the most.

“…the thing that really got to me was that people thought my essay was the only reason I got into my dream schools. ‘Costco Essay Gets Local Girl Into 5 Ivy League Schools,’ read headlines, ‘Love for Costco Got a High School Senior Into 5 Ivy League Schools,’ ‘High School Senior Reveals the Secret That Got Her Into Nearly Every Ivy League School.’ I mean, screw four years of hard work and straight As, it was totally just the essay, right?” (From her piece about handling the publicity storm in Cosmopolitan magazine. )

Of course the Costco essay played a role in her admissions coup—though it’s impossible to know how much it counted. And Brittany says she put a lot of effort into finding a unique topic and crafting a readable piece that revealed her personality and character.

She even credited reading this blog to find tips and inspiration on how to write a narrative style essay. ( And you can, too! )

In the following Q&A about her Costco essay, Brittany took the time to share details, advice and tips about how she brainstormed and wrote her Costco essay. How generous is that?

A Question and Answer Interview About the Costco Essay

When and how did you start working on your essays?

I started in mid­-August before my senior year. I opened up a blank Google doc and just typed whatever was on my mind. This ranged from random sentences to essay topics and character traits. It helped me get the bad ideas out of my head, put some good ideas on paper and start to think about an organizational model.

Do you remember how you felt about these essays when you first started your application process?

I felt pretty intimidated , for the schools I was trying to get into, I knew that I had to knock it out of the park with my essay if I had any hope of securing admission. I was terrified of cliches and avoided them like the plague (the irony!).

What was the hardest part of writing your essay?

It was probably reining in my topic and saving my focus for just a few things. There’s a lot I wanted to convey about myself and I tried my best to do it in 650 words.

Can you tell us your writing process? Did you start brainstorming? Do you use an outline? How many drafts, etc.

After I got my random thoughts down, I made outlines for two different essay topics. This one and one about my experiences in dance class. I worked on both at about the same pace, got halfway through the dance essay, decided it wasn’t going anywhere, and decided to scrap it. I figured that this topic was more creative and probably would’ve made for a more memorable essay . It just felt natural to continue with the Costco topic.

Did you consider yourself a strong writer ?

Yes, I’ve taken a liking to writing and have always taken the most advanced writing courses available to me.  I’ve had many demanding yet supportive teachers along the way.

How did you come up with the idea of Costco as a topic?

There’s an ongoing joke between me and my friends that I practically live at Costco. I’m there with my parents nearly every weekend because it’s just as close to our house as a regular supermarket. I once read a quote that said something along these lines, “If your friend finds your essay on the ground and it has no name on it, they should be able to tell that it’s yours just by reading it.” I used this to guide my topic selection and writing style.

Had you ever written this style of essay before, where you write about yourself?

No, I’m not used to writing about myself, this was actually a big concern for me when I started thinking about writing college essays. I was afraid of coming off as too self-­involved.

Did you have anyone help you with your essay ? 

No, I never really went to anyone for advice until it was pretty much finished. I consulted my mom on my topic in the beginning stages of my essay but she didn’t really know what direction I was trying to go in, so I figured it would be best to get input after I tied up loose ends and brought all of my ideas together. My English teacher saw the final product and gave it her stamp of approval, which was a huge relief because I wanted to be reassured that I wasn’t crazy for writing about such a unique topic.

Do you have any idea how important your essay was in getting admitted to any or all of the school you get accepted to? (Did you get any feedback?)

I’m not sure, but I do know that since so many applicants are qualified and have similar GPAs, SAT scores and extracurriculars, the essay is an important opportunity to differentiate yourself.

What advice do you have for students working on their essays, or the whole admissions process itself?

It’s so easy to get discouraged by admissions statistics. I recommend starting applications early to take pressure off and allow time for deep reflection. Some short supplements took me days to write because I was so careful about word choice and intent.

How are you going to decide which of these outstanding schools you are going to attend?

I’m so late on this. Sorry! So I’ve already decided at this point and have chosen Stanford. All of the schools are academic powerhouses, so there’s no difference there. I wanted Stanford because of it’s innovative spirit whereas a lot of the other schools I got into are rooted in tradition. Stanford is more known for STEM, but many of its humanities departments are some of the best in the world. They have appealing interdisciplinary programs and majors. This was so attractive to me because I want to pursue neuroscience, but at the same time, I appreciate the humanities and couldn’t imagine an education without them.

If you could give any advice to college­-bound freshmen about their essays, what would it be?

Think about a few of your defining qualities and figure out what makes you tick. Don’t try to be someone else, because it will show. If you convey your true self, the people reading it will connect with your authenticity.

THANKS BRITTANY!! And best of luck at Stanford!

Check Out These Related Posts!

A spelling mistake! Brittany has a spelling mistake among her responses! That’s–I hate this word–awesome!

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Student Gets Into 5 Ivies With College Essay About Love for Costco

Published april 6, 2016 • updated on april 6, 2016 at 2:39 pm.

An 18-year-old senior at Concord High School in Wilmington, Delaware, was accepted into five Ivy League schools and another prestigious university after writing a "memorable essay" describing her admiration for America's largest wholesale warehouse, NBC News reported.

Brittany Stinson got into Yale, Columbia, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, Cornell and Stanford. The straight-A student tells NBC News that writing about Costco felt natural to her.

"I had always gone to Costco while growing up. It was a constant part of my childhood. I looked forward to trips on the weekends, and I had always treated it as a Disneyland of sorts. I was always curious about the place. The same attitude carried over to everything I tried in life," Stinson said. 

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My take on the "Costco girl's Essay." From a former Cornell University Admissions Officer.

I was recently asked by Business Insider to provide my thoughts about Brittany Stinson's (the Costco girl) personal statement. It went pretty viral after she provided her personal statement to Business Insider. The comments I shared with Business insider were shortened and combined with four other admissions officers so I wanted to share my full thoughts on her essay with the Reddit community. Below are my comments.

Brittany Stinson’s personal statement has certainly captivated not only the admissions readers at the institutions to which she applied, it has also captivated the attention of readers around the world. Of course most admissions officers at highly selective institutions will agree that this essay alone would not be sufficient to admit anyone but in my opinion it more than adequately serves the purpose that a personal statement should serve as one piece of the holistic admissions review puzzle. It provides insight into Brittany’s personality, her interests, her prowess as a writer, and it connects with any reader who has ever walked inside a Costco. With no other information about Brittany, after reading this personal statement I want to learn more about this inquisitive, witty, astute and eloquent young woman. Her writing conveys a certain likability which is ultimately what you remember about a student’s application as you sit in a committee trying to distinguish between the great and the amazing.

Within the constraint of 650 words Brittany was able to make me chuckle more than once, provoke a tangential stream of deeply intellectual yet mildly humorous thoughts, and helped me learn about her passion for adventurous inquiry. So what is it about Brittany and specifically this essay that makes her “likable?” Here are some stylistic elements which I feel make this story compelling.

Disorienting: Brittany begins her essay "in media res" with a sentence that leaves the reader a bit confused and disoriented. This is a great way to hook the reader and force them to read more. She continues the slight ambiguity just long enough to ensure the reader isn’t too lost. As I read next couple of sentences her story slowly comes into focus as if the imaginary pupil in my minds eye dilates to bringing her story into focus. The rest of this paragraph connects with me as I remember childhood days when I ran around amazed at the enormity and variety in my local Costco. I can just picture the chubby little Brittany devouring a churro, tasting sample after sample and sticking her head in the industrial freezers. This makes me chuckle as images of my four year old nephew doing the same emerge in my mind. By the end of this first paragraph I already have a positive impression about this young woman; she has been able to engender a feeling of endearing nostalgia.

Precise word choice: The next thing that stands out to me about this essay is the word choice. As a bit of a logophile myself I get excited about accurately placed polysyllabic or otherwise sophisticated words like “jettisoned,” “crevice,” “scoured,” “whisked,” “notorious,” “apex,” “toted,” “finitudes,” “infinituedes” and my absolutely favorite word ever “juxtapose.” This can be a bit of a trap and my mind rings with the old admissions adage, “avoid using a plethora of plethoras and a myriad of myriads,” warning students against using smart sounding words with the intention of impressing readers. Although some of these words are a bit over the top, the word choice here sounds genuine and makes sense in the context of her story. She seems to be the kind of girl who can spend hours perusing a dictionary or thesaurus in search for the perfect word not because she wants to impress, but because she knows that the right word will convey the appropriate sentiment. I also notice the strong verbs Brittany uses, if you go back and highlight all of the verbs in this essay you will notice they are all well chosen to express not only an action but also an emotion: charged, rampaging, widened, sliced, sprinted, touch, taste, stick, explore, scour, whisked, scaled, survey, towered, navigate and she used the correct “lay.” Even read out of context, if you string these verbs together they tell a story in and of themselves. I would have advised Brittany to use fewer adjectives and adverbs for purposes of word economy and ease of reading but it isn’t a huge deal in this case.

Paints a picture: “Show don’t tell,” first semester high school seniors know this expression all too well yet few can really pull this off in their writing. The well placed words, and descriptors of familiar experiences makes this story come to life. This personal statement is not just an essay, for me it is visual; I can see that three pound tub of sour cream, the cheese puffs, and the shopping cart as it slams into that 52” plasma screen TV. All throughout this story Brittany uses awesome imagery which helps me visualize her story. I also absolutely love the history, physics, and philosophy references which in a very clever way hint at a her being a very learned young person.

Silver lining: So she can tell a great story but what does this all mean, and what does it say about what Brittany will add to her future university community? We learn toward the end of this writing that Costco is a metaphor for the world, and that this entire story is an allegory through which we learn about Brittany’s adventurous curiosity. She is rampaging through the world exploring it’s oddities and filling her metaphorical shopping cart with items which will enrich her and those around her. Brittany will not bring an empty shopping cart to campus, she brings a cart half full with interesting experiences. Through her story we learn what compels Brittany, an “intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought,” and that just sums it up beautifully.

Aside from all the attention it has received, I wouldn’t say this is the most memorable personal statement I have ever read but it is certainly good. I recently read another Business Insider article which provides some background about Brittany that confirms my hunch that her academic and extracurricular profile are even more impressive and her writing ability.

Nelson Ureña is a co founder and mentor of www.mentorverse.us , an online platform connecting college applicants with mentors who can guide them through a successful college application process. Nelson worked in the Undergraduate Admissions Office at Cornell University and has been mentor and an advocate of higher education ever since high school.

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• Essay Editor

How to End a College Essay: Strategies and Examples

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