Science of mind

Science of mind

how to motivate yourself to change your behavior

Revamp Your Life: How to Motivate Yourself to Change Behavior

Did you know that 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February? It’s a startling statistic that highlights the difficulty we face when trying to change our behavior and stick to our goals. Whether it’s adopting a healthier lifestyle, breaking a bad habit, or pursuing personal growth, finding the motivation to make lasting changes can be a challenge.

In this article, I will share effective strategies to help you motivate yourself and overcome the obstacles that often hinder behavior change. From understanding the power of motivational interviewing to setting goals, building habits, and cultivating a positive mindset, you’ll discover practical techniques to revamp your life and achieve your aspirations.

Key Takeaways:

  • 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February.
  • Motivating yourself to change behavior is challenging but crucial for personal growth.
  • Effective strategies include motivational interviewing, goal setting, habit-building, accountability, and positive mindset cultivation.

Understanding Motivational Interviewing as a Self-Motivation Technique

Motivational interviewing, developed by clinical psychologists William R Miller and Stephen Rollnick, is a counseling approach that focuses on eliciting change talk from the client through open-ended questions and reflective techniques. This technique aims to strengthen the individual’s commitment and motivation to make positive changes in their behavior.

Motivational interviewing emphasizes the importance of the client’s own choices and reasons for change, rather than imposing change upon them. The approach recognizes that motivation fluctuates and that individuals must be willing, ready, and able to change.

“Motivational interviewing places importance on the client’s autonomy and self-determination in driving behavior change.”

By creating a supportive and non-judgmental environment, motivational interviewing helps individuals explore their ambivalence and discover their internal motivations for change. It encourages self-reflection and empowers individuals to take ownership of their choices.

This self-motivation technique can be applied in various contexts, such as addiction recovery, weight management, or improving health-related behaviors.

Key Techniques Used in Motivational Interviewing

  • Open-ended questions: These encourage individuals to share their thoughts, feelings, and motivations freely.
  • Reflective listening: It involves paraphrasing and summarizing what the client has said to demonstrate understanding and to encourage further exploration of their motivations.
  • Affirmations: These acknowledge and recognize the client’s strengths, efforts, and potential for change, boosting their self-confidence.
  • Summarizing: It helps to consolidate the conversation and highlight key points, making connections between the client’s statements and their motivations for change.

By employing these techniques, motivational interviewing promotes a collaborative and empathetic therapeutic relationship, fostering intrinsic motivation and behavior change.

Benefits of Motivational Interviewing

Motivational interviewing offers several advantages as a self-motivation technique:

  • Respects individual autonomy: The client is seen as the expert on their own life and is actively involved in the decision-making process.
  • Promotes self-reflection: It encourages individuals to explore their motivations, values, and priorities, leading to greater self-awareness.
  • Strengthens commitment to change: By focusing on the client’s own reasons for change, motivational interviewing boosts intrinsic motivation, making the commitment to change more enduring.
  • Enhances self-efficacy: Through affirmations and the acknowledgment of strengths, individuals develop a greater belief in their ability to make and sustain behavior changes.

Understanding motivational interviewing as a self-motivation technique equips individuals with the knowledge and skills to explore their motivations, overcome ambivalence, and commit to lasting behavior change. By taking a client-centered approach, motivational interviewing empowers individuals to become active agents of their own transformation.

Setting Goals and Building Motivation

Setting clear and specific goals is key to staying motivated on your personal development journey. When you identify what you want to achieve and why it’s important to you, you create a sense of purpose and direction.

Start by breaking down your goals into smaller, manageable steps. This will help you build momentum and track your progress along the way. Achieving these mini-milestones will provide a sense of accomplishment and boost your motivation.

Remember to celebrate your small wins! Acknowledging and rewarding yourself for your achievements, no matter how small, will help keep your motivation levels high.

In addition to setting goals, surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals can have a significant impact on your motivation. Engaging with others who are also working towards their own goals provides positive peer pressure and support.

Connect with individuals who share your aspirations and values. Join online communities, attend events, or even consider hiring a coach or mentor who can provide guidance and accountability.

Personal Development Strategies: Table of Goal Setting Tips

Goal Setting Tips
1. Be specific and clearly define your goals.
2. Break your goals into smaller, achievable tasks.
3. Set deadlines to create a sense of urgency.
4. Visualize your success and the rewards of achieving your goals.
5. Write down your goals and keep them visible as a constant reminder.
6. Track your progress regularly and adjust your approach if needed.
7. Surround yourself with a supportive community.
8. Celebrate your milestones and reward yourself for progress.

goal setting for motivation

Building Habits for Sustainable Motivation

When it comes to staying motivated on your journey towards behavior change, building positive habits is key. By making working towards your goals a daily habit, you can overcome the need for constant motivation and create lasting change. Here are some self-motivation tips to help you build habits that will fuel your motivation:

  • Identify a Trigger: Find a daily routine or activity that can serve as a cue to engage in the desired behavior. For example, if your goal is to exercise regularly, you might choose to go for a run every morning after you brush your teeth.
  • Start Small: Break down your goals into manageable steps. Starting with small, achievable actions will help you build momentum and prevent overwhelm. As you consistently take these small steps, your motivation will grow.
  • Focus on Consistency: Remember that building habits is about consistency. Aim to engage in the desired behavior every day, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Over time, the accumulated effort will lead to significant progress.
  • Plan for Imperfections: Setbacks and imperfections are a natural part of the journey. Anticipate challenges and plan for how you will navigate them. Having a backup plan in place will help you maintain your motivation when things don’t go as planned.

By building positive habits, you create a structure that supports your goals and keeps you motivated. Remember, sustainable change is not about relying solely on willpower or motivation, but rather about creating a foundation of consistent, daily actions that align with your aspirations.

positive habits formation

Habit Description
Morning Meditation Spend 5 minutes every morning practicing mindfulness meditation to start your day with clarity and focus.
Journaling Set aside time each evening to reflect on your day, express gratitude, and write down your goals for the next day.
Regular Exercise Commit to a specific exercise routine, whether it’s going for a run, attending a gym class, or practicing yoga, and make it a non-negotiable part of your day.
Healthy Eating Create a meal plan and prep nutritious meals and snacks in advance to avoid impulsive, unhealthy food choices.

By incorporating these habits into your daily life, you’ll reinforce your motivation and make progress towards your goals. Remember to be patient with yourself and celebrate your successes along the way. Building habits takes time, but the positive impact they have on your motivation and overall well-being is well worth the effort.

The Power of Accountability and Tracking Progress

When it comes to staying motivated and achieving your goals, accountability and progress tracking are two powerful tools that can propel you forward. By utilizing these strategies, you can create a sense of responsibility and visualize your progress, which will help you stay focused and motivated on your behavior change journey.

One effective way to stay motivated is by finding someone who can hold you accountable for your actions and progress. This person can be a friend, family member, coach, or an accountability partner who shares similar goals and aspirations. When you have someone to answer to, it increases your commitment and determination to stay on track. You can set up regular check-ins, share your goals and progress, and seek support and guidance when needed.

Tracking your progress is another valuable technique to sustain motivation. By documenting and visualizing your progress, you get a clear picture of how far you’ve come and what you’ve accomplished. This sense of accomplishment can be a powerful motivator to keep pushing forward.

You can utilize various tools to track your progress. Calendars, to-do lists, or digital task boards are great options that allow you to visually see your goals, tasks, and milestones. It’s important to set realistic targets and break them down into smaller, achievable steps. As you make progress, check off completed tasks or mark them as done. Seeing these marks of completion will give you a sense of achievement and keep you motivated.

Remember, progress tracking is not only about celebrating the big wins but also acknowledging the small victories along the way. Every step forward, no matter how small, contributes to your overall progress and growth.

Tracking your progress is like having a roadmap for your behavior change journey. It guides you, keeps you motivated, and shows you how far you’ve come. Don’t underestimate the power of progress tracking in sustaining your motivation and achieving your goals.

In conclusion, accountability and progress tracking are vital components of staying motivated and achieving behavior change. Building a support system and finding someone to hold you accountable can provide the necessary encouragement and guidance. Additionally, tracking your progress using tools like calendars and task boards will help you visualize your achievements and fuel your motivation. By implementing these techniques, you can stay motivated and make steady progress on your journey towards positive behavior change.

track progress

Overcoming Obstacles and Planning for Success

Embarking on a journey of behavior change can be challenging. Along the way, you will inevitably encounter obstacles that may test your motivation. However, with proper planning and the right strategies, you can overcome these hurdles and stay on track towards your goals.

Identifying common obstacles that may arise is the first step. It could be lack of time, self-doubt, or external distractions. By acknowledging and understanding these obstacles, you can develop effective strategies to mitigate their impact.

One technique is to brainstorm solutions or alternative approaches. For example, if you struggle with finding time to exercise, consider waking up earlier or incorporating physical activity during your lunch break. By proactively planning for potential obstacles and creating contingency plans, you can increase your chances of success.

Remember that adaptability is a key aspect of self-motivation. Be open to adjusting your approach and finding alternative paths when faced with obstacles.

Another helpful strategy is seeking support. Surround yourself with individuals who share similar goals or have successfully made the desired behavior change. Their guidance, encouragement, and shared experiences can provide invaluable motivation and inspiration.

Furthermore, it’s important to celebrate your progress and small wins along the way. Acknowledging your achievements, no matter how small, can boost your confidence and momentum. Keep a journal or create a visual tracker to record your progress and remind yourself of how far you’ve come.

By overcoming obstacles and planning for success, you can maintain your motivation and continue moving forward on your behavior change journey.

Obstacles Solutions
Lack of time Set specific time blocks dedicated to the desired behavior, prioritize tasks, delegate or eliminate non-essential activities.
Self-doubt Practice positive affirmations, surround yourself with supportive individuals, seek professional guidance if needed.
External distractions Create a conducive environment for focus, limit screen time, establish boundaries with external distractions.

Cultivating a Positive Mindset for Behavior Change

When it comes to making lasting changes in our lives, mindset is everything. The way we perceive and approach behavior change can greatly impact our motivation and success. By cultivating a positive mindset, we can empower ourselves to stay motivated and form positive habits that lead to transformative change.

One of the key aspects of a positive mindset is focusing on the benefits and rewards of behavior change. Instead of dwelling on the difficulties or challenges, remind yourself of the positive outcomes that await you. Visualize how your life will improve, the sense of accomplishment you’ll feel, and the positive impact it will have on your overall well-being.

Practicing gratitude is another powerful way to cultivate a positive mindset. Take a moment each day to reflect on the progress you’ve made, no matter how small. Acknowledge the effort and determination you’ve shown in pursuing your goals. Embrace a mindset of gratitude and celebrate the steps you’ve taken towards behavior change.

Surrounding yourself with positivity can also reinforce your motivation. Fill your environment with affirmations, inspirational quotes, and reminders of your goals. Create a vision board that visually represents your desired outcomes. Surrounding yourself with these reminders not only serves as motivation, but also reinforces your belief in your ability to change.

Remember, mindset is not a one-time switch that you flip, but rather an ongoing practice. It’s normal to face setbacks or struggle with maintaining motivation. During these times, be kind to yourself and focus on self-compassion. Remind yourself that change is a journey, and every step forward is progress.

Boosting Motivation through Self-Care and Mood Lifting

When it comes to maintaining motivation, taking care of yourself is essential. Engaging in activities that uplift your mood, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature, can have a profound effect on your motivation levels. These self-care practices not only rejuvenate your body and mind but also provide a much-needed boost to your overall well-being.

In addition to self-care activities, creating an environment that supports your goals and enhances your motivation is crucial. Surround yourself with motivational quotes, inspiring images, or create a dedicated workspace where you can focus on your behavior change journey. By immersing yourself in a positive and uplifting environment, you can amplify your self-motivation and stay on track towards achieving your goals.

Another important aspect of boosting motivation is to constantly remind yourself of your “why.” Reflect on the reasons why you embarked on this journey in the first place and the positive impact it will have on your life. By staying connected to your purpose and constantly reaffirming your motivations, you can maintain a strong sense of determination and commitment.

Don’t underestimate the power of self-care in nurturing your motivation. Prioritize activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish but rather an essential foundation for sustained motivation and successful behavior change.

Source Links

  • https://zenhabits.net/life-changing/
  • https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-get-motivated-to-make-positive-changes-in-your-life
  • https://www.coursera.org/articles/how-to-motivate-yourself

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How to Motivate Yourself to Change Your Behavior: Tali Sharot (Transcript)

  • October 17, 2018 1:59 pm September 18, 2023 7:46 am
  • by Pangambam S
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how to motivate yourself to change your behavior essay

Here is the full transcript and summary of Cognitive neuroscientist Tali Sharot’s TEDx Talk:  How to Motivate Yourself to Change Your Behavior @ TEDxCambridge conference. She is the author of the book  The Influential Mind: What the Brain Reveals About Our Power to Change Others. 

Listen to the MP3 Audio:

Tali Sharot – Cognitive neuroscientist

So, we all have some behavior that we would like to change about ourselves. And we certainly all want to help someone else change their behavior in a positive way. So, maybe it’s your kid, your spouse, your colleague.

So I want to share some new research with you that I think reveals something really important about what gets people to change their behavior.

But before I do that, let’s zoom in on one strategy that I think you probably use a lot. So, let’s say you’re trying to stop yourself from snacking. What do you tell yourself? Well, most people, in a monologue, will say, “Beware. You’ll be fat.”

And if this was your kid, you would probably tell him that smoking kills and, by the way, he’s in big, big trouble.

So, what we’re trying to do here is we’re trying to scare ourselves and others into changing their behavior. And it’s not just us. Warnings and threats are really common in health campaigns, in policy.

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Swimmers diving off a diving board

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How to motivate yourself to change

Change is hard, but it’s possible. use motivational interviewing techniques to build your confidence, and take the plunge.

by Angela Wood & Ralph Wood   + BIO

is a clinical social worker and assistant professor at Southeastern Louisiana University. She is the author of The Motivational Interviewing Workbook: Exercises to Decide What You Want and How to Get There (2020).

is a health educator, professor at Southeastern Louisiana University and author of dozens of academic journal articles and book chapters.

Edited by Christian Jarrett

Need to know

Struggling to change in the ways we want to is a common human experience. Many of the practical steps required aren’t easy or fun. This makes motivation a challenge. No matter our excuses – not enough time, not enough energy, not enough money – we often say to ourselves that ‘it’s too hard’, ‘I can’t be bothered’ or ‘I’m just not that motivated.’

How can we find more motivation to make positive changes in our lives? There are so many books out there meant to help you take the necessary steps toward achieving change – to become more organised, say, or more confident, or more ambitious, or to eat more healthily. They tell you what you need to do to enact change, and that’s great if you’re ready to commit to it. But what if your problem isn’t so much that you don’t know what to do; rather that, for whatever reason, you can’t even get yourself started. Perhaps you don’t feel confident in your ability to complete all the recommended steps towards change? Maybe the potential benefit of the change doesn’t seem all that important right now and you just keep putting things off? Or what if there are so many changes you’d like to make that you just don’t know where to start?

‘Motivational interviewing’ (MI) is a counselling approach developed by the clinical psychologists William R Miller and Stephen Rollnick. It’s all about emphasising change from within the client. MI practitioners use their counselling skills, such as open-ended questions and ways to reflect, to evoke what’s called change talk – a conversation about what clients are unhappy about and how they’d like to change . Through an accepting, collaborative and guiding style, this approach seeks to strengthen the person’s commitment to goals they identify for themselves. The emphasis is on a person’s own choices and own reasons for change. Though MI practitioners such as ourselves might make suggestions to help guide our clients, we aren’t trying to force anyone to change or make choices we think they should make. Instead, we ask our clients questions, and reflect back to them what we’re hearing related to their desire, ability, reasons and need for change.

Motivational interviewing recognises that motivation often changes and fluctuates day-to-day, even moment-to-moment. It also sees motivation as a multifaceted concept that involves not only being willing to change, but being ready and able. Being willing means that you recognise that something concerns you about your situation. You see a discrepancy between the reality of your life and the ideal. This might include a desire for change or a sense of need for change. For example, you might think: ‘I wish I were thinner’ or ‘I need to get out of this bad relationship.’ You might complain that your favourite jeans don’t fit anymore or that you’re tired of endless arguments with your partner. This reflects your reality. You then recognise how you wish things were: the ideal . When reality and ideal are sufficiently different, you become uncomfortable. You start thinking about change.

Readiness indicates that you not only recognise a need for change but see this need as a priority amid all the other competing priorities in life. Finally, being able refers to having confidence in your ability to change, and being in possession of the necessary knowledge and skills to make the change.

Crucially, you don’t have to see a counsellor or a therapist to benefit from the principles of motivational interviewing. In due course, you might find it helpful to see a therapist to overcome specific obstacles, work through problems or develop new skills, but in the meantime you can ‘interview’ yourself, to help identify your goals, build your motivation and make plans for change. In this Guide, we’ll show you various exercises to do this. The truth is, there’s no magic bullet we can give you. Expecting to be 100 per cent ready, willing and able isn’t realistic. But by using strategies found in MI, we hope you can get close enough to make the necessary efforts to begin enacting change, step by step.

There are four key stages involved when practitioners use motivational interviewing: engagement, focusing, evocation and planning. Engagement , which we won’t cover further in this Guide, refers to the need for practitioners to build a positive relationship or therapeutic alliance with their client or patient. We’ll start with the next stage, focusing , which helps the practitioner and client identify what issue or concern in the client’s life will be addressed first. You can work on this phase on your own using an exercise to help you clarify what you want to change:

Recognise the problem

Recognition of a problem is the first step toward building discrepancy – that is, recognising the difference between your reality and the ideal. First, what is your reality? Get a notepad and brainstorm what’s causing you dissatisfaction or concerns. Think of areas such as physical health, work, relationships, social life, finances or emotional/mental health where things aren’t as you’d like. If you have a trusted friend or relative, you could also consider brainstorming with them (but do make sure that they help you uncover your own discrepancies, rather than imposing ideas on you). Here are some examples:

  • ‘I’m overweight.’
  • ‘I worry too much.’
  • ‘I can’t seem to get organised.’
  • ‘I wish I didn’t yell at my kids.’
  • ‘I need to get out more.’
  • ‘I have to get a handle on my budget.’
  • ‘I’m tired of being depressed.’

If you came up with more than one area of concern, rate the ones you listed on a scale from 1 to 5, where 1 indicates that you’re only occasionally troubled by the issue, and 5 indicates that the issue is causing you significant dissatisfaction. As a rough guide, if the concern bothers you several times a day, you might score it a 5. If it causes you concern only once every few weeks, you might score it 1.

Now, focus on your most highly rated concerns, and think: what would make them better, and why? In other words, what would be your ideal situation? Picking up on the examples above, you might reflect on the following:

  • ‘My life would be better if I lost weight because it would help me feel better about myself and reduce my health risks.’
  • ‘My life would be better if I stopped worrying so much because it would help me sleep better and probably get more done.’
  • ‘My life would be better if I could get organised because it would help me be more efficient and get more done.’
  • ‘My life would be better if I could handle my anger because it would improve my relationship with my kids.’
  • ‘My life would be better if I found some friends to hang out with because it would help me feel less alone.’
  • ‘My life would be better if I could stop spending money I don’t have because it would help me pay off my debt and feel less stressed about money.’
  • ‘My life would be better if I could follow through with my counsellor’s suggestions because it would move me in the right direction, toward recovery.’

Now that you’ve identified your reality and your ideal for your most pressing concerns, grab the notepad and let’s put them together – the ideal first, and then the reality: this will help you see your discrepancy for each concern:

(Ideal): My life would be better if I ______ because it would _____. (Reality): Currently I am _________________.

Next, think about how big or small that discrepancy is. How uncomfortable does it make you feel? If the difference you perceive between your reality and the ideal is small, then you aren’t likely to be very motivated to work on the change. On the other hand, if the difference is too large, then you might feel too discouraged to consider working on that change. Ideally, at this stage you can identify a change where the discrepancy is ‘just right’ – serious enough to bother you, but not so huge that it’s overwhelming.

No matter where your discrepancy falls for the concerns you’ve identified, the next step is to choose the concerning behaviour(s) you most want to work on. The phase in MI known as evocation can help with this. In a counselling context, the MI evocation phase is when the practitioner uses strategies to help clients talk about readiness, willingness and ability to change. The theory is that, the more clients talk about their desire, ability, reasons and need for change, the more likely they’ll be to make a commitment and take action toward their goal. Here are two evocation exercises you can try on your own, or with a trusted friend or relative, that will similarly help to increase your commitment and motivation:

Determine what’s most important and why

In choosing what behavioural changes and goals to get behind, prioritise your efforts by exploring what’s most important to you. One way to better understand how to prioritise your goals is to spend some time identifying your personal values.

For each possible change that you identified in the focusing phase, answer the following questions for yourself. Try to think about the possible impact of each change across different areas of your life. What would the change mean for your physical health, work, relationships, social life, finances, sexuality or emotional/mental health. Get a notepad and jot down your thoughts under two columns:

Black text table on white background with ‘Pros’ and ‘Cons’ columns asking about benefits and costs of changing behaviour.

After you make your list of pros and cons, think: why are these outcomes important? Consider what values you hold, what principles or standards of behaviour make this potential change particularly vital. Examples of values include honesty, family, integrity, faith, health, and responsibility. If you wish to reflect on these more thoroughly, here is a list of worthwhile values.

Once you’ve identified your key values, think about how your current behaviours (the ones you’re most concerned about) get in the way of you living by these values. How will working toward your change goals help you better live by these values? There’s no set duration you must spend on this exercise, but take your time and consider coming back to it on different days when you might be in a different mood or have a different perspective.

Build confidence

We hope the previous exercises helped you identify a particular issue or current behaviour(s) that most concern you right now. But even though you’ve determined how important it is to change that behaviour or behaviours, still you might not feel ready to commit to working actively toward the necessary changes. Confidence isn’t an all-or-nothing state of being. Some days you might have more confidence in your abilities than other days. When you don’t have enough confidence, you might find yourself downplaying the importance of the behaviour change, and feel like you want to give up trying. Your self-talk might be full of thoughts such as: ‘It’s too hard,’ ‘I don’t have time’ or ‘I can’t do anything about it.’

Because confidence is so important to change, another key aspect of the evocation phase is to build your confidence in your own ability to make changes to your behaviour. To do this, it’s important to spend some time reflecting on your strengths, your past successes, and your sources of hope and inspiration:

  • Identify your strengths . Characteristics of successful changers include creativity, resourcefulness, stubbornness and being adventuresome (you can view a longer list in this resource pack that accompanied a book co-authored by the MI co-founder William Miller). Reflect on your own strengths. You might also ask people close to you to identify some of your strengths, and how you’ve demonstrated them in their eyes. How might your strengths help you make the changes that you’re seeking to make?
  • Identify your past successes. Think back to times you’ve successfully made changes and look for nuggets that might help you in your current efforts. What steps did you take then to accomplish those changes? How did you do it, and how could you apply the same or similar strategies today?
  • Develop hope and inspiration. What makes you feel hopeful? What makes you optimistic about making this change? Look for sources of inspiration. You could consider creating a ‘vision board’: use a large scrapbook, a pinboard or a blog (set it to ‘private’ if you don’t want other people to see it) and fill it with images and quotes to help you picture your goal(s). Finding a community of support and sources of information related to your change goal can also help you stay focused and inspired: look for forums or information from trusted outlets online. Relevant charities or support groups are often a good place to start.

Make a plan

By now, we hope you’ve identified the problem behaviour(s) you wish to change, understood the reasons why you want to make this change to your life, established some level of confidence in your ability to make the change, and perhaps considered its importance in relation to your value system. At this, the fourth stage of change in MI, planning , you might be ready to come up with your change plan . Once you’re able to say: ‘I’m willing to work on my change,’ that’s a good sign that you’re ready to consider your plan of action. How are you going to make this change happen? There’s really no right or wrong way to do this, though we have some suggestions.

Think of the ‘big picture’ first. A big picture helps us think of the future; it plants an image in our mind. Imagine what life would be like once you accomplish your change goal. Your big picture could be broad and include more than one specific goal. For example: ‘To cultivate a thriving marriage where we communicate regularly, enjoy each other’s company, and pay attention to the other person’s needs.’

Next, zoom back in to develop and refine your specific goal for change. Beginning from the work you did in the ‘recognise the problem’ exercise during the focusing phase, now aim to translate your aims into a SMART goal , that is: be specific, make the goal measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound. A general goal such as ‘I want to feel better’ will be hard to build a plan around because it’s too vague. ‘I’d like to lose 10 pounds in the next eight weeks’ is a SMART goal.

As you think about your SMART goal, brainstorm possible steps you can take toward achieving the goal. Try listing at least 10 actions, steps or tasks that will help you make progress. Then, go through the list and rate each step from 1 to 5, where 5 is an action you feel capable of undertaking, and 1 is an action that’s too difficult, vague or impractical at the moment. Just as your goal needs to be SMART, your steps also need to be SMART, so try to rework the list to make as many of the steps as near to 5 as possible. For example, ‘Eat fewer carbohydrates and fats’ might become ‘I will limit myself to 1,200 calories a day for the next eight weeks.’

Everyone needs a support system, so as far as possible this should be part of your plan, too. Bear in mind that there are different ways people can be helpful. Consider who could help you financially, be a good listener, encourage you, value your abilities, and reliably touch base with you. Spend a little time figuring out how and when you could reach out to these people. We understand that not everyone has a built-in support system. But there are ways to find or develop a social network that will support you toward your goals. You can connect in person with those who share the same interests or goals (eg, co-workers, faith community or community organisations) or on social media. You might even consider starting your own group.

In addition to social support, there are other resources that might be useful on your journey toward change. It’s worth thinking about buying access to an online support group or, on a bigger scale, the funds that would enable you to move to a new location if your change goal requires it. If you’re employed, take a look at your conditions – sometimes employers offer benefits or flexible working, which might help you enact certain steps toward your change. If you don’t have the financial resources available, is there anything you could do to save or raise the necessary funds? Or could you find creative ways to utilise or access resources in your community? You don’t have to spend money to support your efforts toward change.

Make your strengths a conscious part of your plan . As you did in the ‘build confidence’ exercise during the evocation phase, choose several characteristics you possess that will help you be successful.

Setting up a system of rewards will also help you stay motivated and reinforce positive changes along the way. Brainstorm a list of possible rewards you might enjoy. While you might consider tangible rewards (eg, new clothes or electronic devices), be sure to also include in your plan rewarding activities and events, such as meetings with friends, family outings or time alone doing what you enjoy.

The final part of the plan requires identifying likely barriers and being prepared to find ways to face them or cope with them. Some obstacles might call for practical problem-solving (your support system and resources might help here) while others might be more internal, such as addressing your self-talk. Self-talk is how we speak to ourselves, our inner conversation. Negative self-talk could be an impediment to change. Once you’ve identified your unhelpful self-talk, challenge those ideas. For example: ‘You’ve shown self-control before. You can work at it.’ Again, supportive friends or relatives might be able to help you.

Put all this information – the big picture; your specific goal; 10 specific steps; your support system; your resources; your obstacles – together in a written plan, and review it often. Keeping your goal in mind is crucial to success. If you file away your plan, it will be ‘out of sight, out of mind’, so try to keep it somewhere handy and visible, such as by your bedside or on your desk. You might like to use a template plan such as the free one at the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers (MINT) website.

Key points – How to motivate yourself to change

  • Change can be hard. Motivational interviewing is a counselling technique that helps people find their own reasons and motivation to change.
  • Become willing, ready and able. Exercises from motivational interviewing can help you prepare for enacting change, even working on your own.
  • Recognise the problem. Start with ‘focusing’ exercises to identify the discrepancies between how you’d like your life to be and how it is.
  • Determine what’s most important and why. Use ‘evocation’ exercises to prioritise your concerns and reflect on how the changes you hope to make will help you live according to your values.
  • Build confidence. Identify your strengths, past successes, and sources of hope and inspiration that might help you make the changes you seek to make.
  • Make a plan. Develop a ‘change plan’, including establishing SMART goals that are specific and achievable, specifying small doable steps, building a support system, and identifying your resources and obstacles.

Motivation and the process of change can be understood through different theoretical perspectives. Motivational interviewing is partly derived from the social psychologist Daryl Bem’s self-perception theory of the 1960s, which provides the basis for the key principle of discrepancy between one’s actual and ideal self that we introduced earlier. Motivational interviewing is also grounded in humanistic psychotherapy. The humanistic perspective believes that the power to change lies within each person, and that change is always possible.

Another model of change that’s even more comprehensive is the transtheoretical model of change , or stages of change , developed by the psychologists James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente in the 1970s. The original version of their model describes the five stages people go through when working through the process of change. While motivational interviewing wasn’t developed around these stages, the two approaches work well together, and you might find it useful to consider how the stages apply to your own situation. The five stages are: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action and maintenance.

The first stage, precontemplation , is typically used to describe an individual who has no intention of adopting a new behaviour in the next six months. Precontemplators can be divided into two broad categories: the uninformed and the demoralised. The uninformed have no intention of adopting a new behaviour because they don’t know that they need to do something different (in motivational interviewing terms, they haven’t yet acknowledged a discrepancy). In contrast, the demoralised individual at the precontemplation stage has made numerous attempts to change without success, and has decided to no longer attempt change. If you’re at the precontemplation stage, your goal for now is to move from saying ‘I have no intention to change’ to ‘I’ll think about it.’ Motivational interviewing and its focusing exercises can help you in this by raising your awareness of the need to change and providing relief from the stress, anxiety or depression related to the behaviours that have been causing you concern.

Contemplation is the second stage. Contemplators are considering making a change but are reluctant to commit to doing so in the next 30 days. They’re best described as ambivalent about change. Individuals at this stage recognise that they have a problem that needs addressing, yet they don’t see it as high-priority. If you’re at this stage, then, to move past it, it’s important that you believe that new ways of behaving will yield significant benefits with minimal barriers. In this case, the goal is to move from saying ‘I’ll think about it’ to ‘It’s important that I make this change.’ Through focusing, evocation and early work on planning, motivational interviewing can help you identify and address potential barriers, evaluate your goals and values against your target behaviour changes, and begin to explore and build your confidence.

Once you’ve determined that it’s important to make your change in the next 30 days, you’ve reached the preparation stage. It’s not unusual at this stage to begin ‘testing the waters’ by making small changes in the direction of your ultimate goal. This can build the needed confidence to put a plan in motion. Here, your goal is to move from saying ‘It’s important that I make this change’ to ‘I’m confident that I can make this change.’ Motivational interviewing can help by evoking commitment and through work on a change plan, including identifying small steps you’ve already taken or will take toward the direction of change. Spending time affirming your strengths as well as supporting your autonomy will further help set you in the direction of successful change.

Once you’ve developed a change plan and put it in motion, you’re in the action stage. You’re now making changes to your individualised plan that are observable, measurable, and will result in some type of benefit. At this point, it’s essential to also develop a plan to handle sliding back into old patterns, otherwise known as relapse . Should you relapse, motivational interviewing can help – revisit the earlier focusing and evocation exercises to look again at your reasons, desires or need to change. Your backup plan could also include reviewing your reward system, continuing to build your social support system, and re-evaluating potential barriers to change.

Once you’ve maintained behavioural changes that have yielded significant benefits for six months, you’re in the maintenance stage of Prochaska and DiClemente’s model. If you manage to reach this stage, that’s a fantastic achievement – we hope you’ve been able to reward yourself along the way. However, don’t become complacent. Setbacks are likely, so have a plan ready for how to get back on track if necessary. If that happens, much like in the action stage (before the goal is achieved), you can always review and revise your change plan as needed.

We hope the exercises in this Guide help you reflect on your situation and build your motivation to make the changes you want to make. You might still be finding it hard to know where to begin – that’s entirely normal. We mentioned before that sometimes the discrepancy between where we are (reality) and where we want to be (ideal) seems too big. If that’s the case, don’t rush or feel pressured – take your time to identify the minimal practical steps you can take that are specific and doable. Draw on the support of close friends and family if you can. Also, don’t be surprised if your confidence waxes and wanes from one day or week to the next. Motivation for change is often a fluctuating state of being, requiring constant attention and reinforcement – try not to feel despondent if you’re less hopeful on some days than others.

If you continue to struggle to make a change that you believe is very important, don’t feel ashamed to ask for professional help. Also, bear in mind that therapists usually view motivational interviewing as one approach in their toolbox. While we hope you’ll find the exercises in this Guide beneficial, in practice their effectiveness is usually increased when combined with other evidence-based strategies. For instance, you might have specific barriers or obstacles that can best be addressed through other approaches such as cognitive behavioural therapy or acceptance and commitment therapy – there are self-help versions of these techniques available or you could seek the help of a specialist therapist. Whatever approach you choose in your journey of change, we wish you all the best, and recommend the resources below to help you on your way.

Links & books

One of us (Angie) wrote The Motivational Interviewing Workbook: Exercises to Decide What You Want and How to Get There (2020). It contains more than 100 exercises that cover multiple facets of the change process, from recognising what you want to change to why and how.

Although it’s geared toward practitioners, the Positive Psychology site contains a variety of topics and exercises you can explore to help you grow. For example, their self-motivation topic area contains lots of ideas to help you understand and build on your motivation.

If you enjoy podcasts, try the Changeability Podcast series presented by Kathryn Bryant and Julian Illman. Their website , Brilliant Living HQ, also has many practical tips and resources to help you overcome challenges in the change process (this includes a free course on ‘vision setting’ for users who create a free account; most other resources require a fee).

TED Talks are another popular resource for knowledge and inspiration. One of our favourites is the talk ‘Why It’s So Hard to Make Healthy Decisions’ (2018) by the behavioural economist David Asch, in which he explains beautifully why we make poor health choices despite being aware of the cost (or potential cost) of our actions.

When it comes to smartphone apps, there are endless options. For daily inspirational quotes, we recommend the Monkey Taps app . Meanwhile, a habit tracker, focused on your various health behaviours, might help you stay engaged in your change process: the Way of Life app is well rated. Try searching for ‘goal-setting tracker’ to find various apps that help you design, set and track your goals (they don’t have to include health-related behaviours).

If you liked the ‘stages of change’ model we introduced in the ‘Learn More’ section above, then an ideal book to help you through the change process is Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward (2007) by the co-developers of the ‘stages of change’ model James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente, together with the psychologist John Norcross.

If you’d like more direction in your quest for change, you might appreciate the book Finding Your Way to Change: How the Power of Motivational Interviewing Can Reveal What You Want and Help You Get There (2015) by the psychologist Allan Zuckoff with Bonnie Gorscak. It follows the process of recognising what you want to change, dealing with ambivalence about the change, the importance of the change, and creating a change plan with in-depth examples based on several client profiles.

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How to look after your emotional health

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Steve Rose, PhD

How To Motivate Yourself To Change

how to motivate yourself to change your behavior essay

Written by Steve Rose

Addiction and recovery | identity, purpose, and belonging, 1 comments(s).

You stand at a crossroads, the weight of an important decision resting heavily on your shoulders. The path of change beckons with its promise of progress, yet each step forward is tethered by the familiar comfort of the status quo. You are gripped by ambivalence, that perplexing blend of desire and hesitation, as you grapple with the possibility of transforming a deep-seated behavior. It’s akin to listening to two inner voices in a relentless debate, where one whispers the thrilling potential of new beginnings and the other recounts the soothing lullabies of old habits.

As you contemplate this pivotal shift, the push and pull of ‘what is’ against ‘what could be’ creates a tug-of-war of emotions. You may find yourself daydreaming about the benefits of change, only to be jolted back by the fear of unknown consequences. It’s not just a decision; it’s a battle between your current reality and the one you wish to create. This is the experience of ambivalence, a natural and critical stage in the journey towards meaningful change, where the heart and mind often speak in conflicting tongues, and finding motivation is both your challenge and your potential triumph.

You’re reading this article because you’re standing on the brink of change, feeling both its promise and its challenges. The purpose here is to serve as your guide, to help you navigate through the fog of ambivalence and to light a path toward action. This article is crafted to arm you with strategies so you can transform the desire for change into concrete steps.

Table of Contents

Identify the Behavior You Want to Change

As you pause to reflect on your life, think about a behavior you’re considering changing. This is not merely a habit; it’s a pattern of action that feels out of sync with the life you envision for yourself. Perhaps you spend hours scrolling through social media, the minutes slipping away as you sink deeper into the digital quicksand. Or, you might catch yourself reaching for that extra snack late at night, even when you’re not hungry, a silent comfort that’s become a nightly ritual. It could be the drink or cigarette you promise will be your last, only to find the promise broken by stress or habit.

Consider also the subtler behaviors. Maybe it’s the hesitation to speak up in meetings, even when your ideas are buzzing like bees, eager to be heard. Or the procrastination that whispers ‘later’ when you face a daunting task, despite the ticking clock reminding you that ‘later’ is a luxury you can’t afford.

Identify your behavior candidly; is it the tendency to avoid exercise, the reflex to deflect compliments, or the habit of saying ‘yes’ when you’re yearning to say ‘no’? Pinpoint the action that, if changed, could pivot the course of your daily life towards something more enriching, more fulfilling.

This identification is your first pivotal step. By naming the behavior, you drag it into the light. Here, in the open, it becomes something real, something you can face, challenge, and ultimately, transform.

Inquire Into the Benefits of This Behavior

As you delve deeper into understanding your behavior, it’s essential to acknowledge the benefits you perceive from it. These benefits act as the anchors, holding the behavior firmly in place, and they can’t be ignored if you wish to change.

Take late-night snacking, for instance. It offers you a sense of comfort after a long day, a momentary escape that’s both soothing and familiar. The food might even be tied to a sense of reward, a small treat that you feel you’ve earned. This behavior isn’t just about the food; it’s about the emotional nourishment it provides, however fleeting it might be.

When you consider not exercising, the immediate benefits may include more free time, or avoidance of the discomfort and the exertion that comes with physical activity. Perhaps it’s the cozy appeal of an extra hour in bed or the lure of an evening on the couch that convinces you to skip the gym. There’s a tangible ease in this choice, a path of less resistance that offers immediate gratification.

And what about the glass of wine or beer you reach for at the end of the day? The benefits here might be the way it helps you unwind, the social lubrication it provides, or simply the pleasure of the taste and the ritual associated with drinking. Alcohol, for many, can feel like a temporary balm for stress, a way to signal the transition from work to relaxation.

These benefits are significant; they meet certain needs and desires within you, albeit in ways that might not align with your long-term well-being. Recognizing and understanding these benefits is a crucial step in your journey. It’s not about casting judgment but about gaining insight into what drives your current behavior, setting the stage for the delicate task of balancing immediate comfort with long-term goals.

Behavior Benefits Worksheet

This worksheet is designed to help you thoughtfully consider the benefits of the behavior you’re looking to change. By filling it out, you acknowledge the positive aspects that have kept this behavior a part of your life. This recognition is vital because it adds depth to your understanding and helps pave the way for a more balanced and effective change strategy.

Behavior Identification:

What behavior are you considering changing?

Immediate Gratification:

  • What immediate pleasures or relief do you receive from engaging in this behavior?
  • How does this behavior make you feel in the short term?

Emotional Comfort:

  • What emotional needs does this behavior satisfy?
  • Are there specific feelings or emotions that this behavior helps you cope with?

Social and Environmental Context:

  • How does this behavior fit into your social life or environment?
  • Does this behavior help you connect with others, or does it serve as a social ritual?

Convenience and Ease:

  • In what ways does this behavior add convenience or ease to your life?
  • How does it save time or effort compared to other activities?

Routine and Familiarity:

  • How has this behavior become a part of your daily or weekly routine?
  • What comfort do you derive from the familiarity of this behavior?

Personal Reward:

  • Do you view this behavior as a treat or reward? If so, in what way?
  • What do you feel you are rewarding yourself for?

After you have completed the worksheet, take some time to reflect on your answers. Understanding the benefits of your current behavior will help you in developing strategies that can either replicate these benefits in healthier ways or help you find new behaviors that offer similar rewards. This reflection is a step toward acknowledging that your current behavior serves a purpose and that change will need to respect and address those underlying needs.

Acknowledge The Drawbacks of Change

Confronting change, especially when it involves altering a deep-rooted behavior, naturally brings with it a host of perceived drawbacks. These are the shadows cast by the bright light of the benefits, and they often loom larger in your mind, potentially overshadowing your motivation. It’s crucial to understand that it’s not just the behavior itself you might miss, but also the roles it fills and the needs it meets.

If you stop your behavior, it’s possible that you’ll face discomfort, a loss of a coping mechanism, or a disruption of your daily routine. You might worry about how you will fill the void left behind or manage the stress that was once soothed by this habit. Perhaps you’re concerned about the reactions of others or how it will affect your social interactions.

To fully engage with these potential drawbacks, let’s complete the following sentence completion exercise. For each statement, fill in the blank with whatever comes to mind. Don’t overthink it; just let your instincts speak.

Sentence Completion Exercise: Focusing on the Drawbacks of Change

“If I stop [enter behavior], I will…”

  • “…feel uncomfortable because…”
  • “…have to face…”
  • “…miss out on…”
  • “…need to find a new way to…”
  • “…worry about…”
  • “…be challenged by…”
  • “…not know how to…”
  • “…have to deal with…”

This exercise aims to bring to light your concerns and apprehensions about the change you’re contemplating. By acknowledging these drawbacks, you can prepare yourself more thoroughly for the journey ahead. Remember, recognizing these potential drawbacks isn’t a step backward; it’s a strategic part of planning for a successful change, ensuring that you’re ready to face the full spectrum of what this change entails.

Address What Drives This Behavior

The behavior you’re considering changing isn’t just a standalone action; it’s often a response to something deeper within your life or psyche. When you remove this behavior, the underlying issues it was masking or addressing may surface, bringing discomfort or challenges. It’s important to meet these head-on with strategies that are both healthy and sustainable.

First, identify what might come up for you when the behavior is not present. Is it stress, anxiety, boredom, or a need for social connection? Understanding these triggers is the key to developing effective alternatives.

Stress: If your behavior serves as a stress-relief, consider what other activities could alleviate stress. Perhaps it’s time to explore meditation, exercise, or deep-breathing techniques. For example, instead of reaching for a cigarette when tension mounts, you could take a brisk walk or practice a few minutes of mindful breathing to calm your nerves.

Anxiety: When anxiety is the issue, and your behavior acts as a temporary balm, look for ways to address the anxiety directly. This could involve talking to a counselor, engaging in yoga or relaxation exercises, or learning cognitive-behavioral techniques to manage anxious thoughts.

Boredom: If boredom tempts you into your old behavior, find new hobbies or interests that excite you. Replace the idle hours that led to mindless scrolling on social media with a new skill, like learning a musical instrument or a language, which can provide a sense of progress and accomplishment.

Social Connection: Should your behavior be intertwined with social habits, such as drinking alcohol at parties, think about how you can still engage socially without relying on the behavior. This might mean suggesting alternative activities with friends, like hiking or board game nights, or even volunteering, which can provide a sense of community and connection.

Comfort/Ease: If the behavior offers comfort or makes life seem easier, challenge yourself to develop resilience and adaptability. Comfort can be found in healthier routines, such as preparing a weekly meal plan to avoid the ease of fast food, or setting up a cozy reading nook that invites you into a book instead of late-night snacking.

Remember, the goal isn’t to simply remove a behavior but to replace it with something that is both nurturing and aligned with your values. By addressing the underlying issues, you empower yourself to build a life where the need for the old behavior diminishes, and new, more fulfilling patterns take root.

Here is a curated list of free resources to help you address the underlying issues that might be driving your behavior. Each resource is a starting point for exploring healthier alternatives and strategies for coping with discomfort and challenges that may arise with change.

For Stress:

  • Mindful.org : Offers free mindfulness meditation practices and guidance to help you manage stress.
  • The American Institute of Stress : Provides free educational materials on stress management.
  • Headspace : Provides free guided meditations and mindfulness practices.
  • Insight Timer : Offers a large library of free meditations and music for stress relief.
  • HelpGuide’s Stress Management : Presents practical tips and information on managing stress.

For Anxiety:

  • Anxiety and Depression Association of America : Features free webinars, podcasts, and articles on coping with anxiety.
  • 7 Cups : Access free support from trained volunteer listeners to work through anxiety.
  • MindShift™ CBT : An app designed to use cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to help manage anxiety.
  • National Institute of Mental Health : Features information and resources on anxiety disorders.

For Boredom:

  • Coursera : Offers free courses on a variety of subjects to engage your mind and expand your skills.
  • Duolingo : Learn a new language for free and occupy your mind productively.
  • Khan Academy : Free courses across many subjects to keep your mind engaged and learning.
  • Project Gutenberg : Offers over 60,000 free eBooks, particularly useful if you’re looking to immerse yourself in literature.
  • Codecademy : Provides free coding classes if you’re interested in learning computer programming.

For Social Connection:

  • Meetup : Find free groups and activities in your area that align with your interests, offering a chance to connect with others.
  • VolunteerMatch : Connects you with volunteer opportunities to meet others and give back to your community.
  • Eventbrite : Search for free events in your area that you can attend to meet new people.
  • Nextdoor : A neighborhood hub for trusted connections and the exchange of helpful information, goods, and services.
  • Toastmasters International : Find a local club to improve your public speaking skills and meet like-minded individuals.

For Comfort/Ease:

  • MyFitnessPal : A free app to help you track your diet and exercise, making healthy living easier.
  • Goodreads : Engage with a community of readers, find book recommendations, and join reading challenges for free.
  • Libby : Offers access to thousands of eBooks and audiobooks through your local library for free.
  • AllTrails : Discover hiking trails and outdoor activities to inspire a more active lifestyle.

Remember, each resource is a stepping stone towards understanding and overcoming the underlying issues of your current behavior. Explore these tools and find the ones that resonate with you and your journey toward change.

Consider the Drawbacks of Not Changing

When you stand at the crossroads of change, looking forward into the unknown, it can be equally important to glance over your shoulder at the terrain you know too well. The status quo may feel comfortable, but it’s essential to acknowledge the hidden costs of not changing.

Continuation of Negative Consequences: Think about the long-term implications of your current behavior. If you continue down this path, what might be the consequences? For example, if you’re considering quitting smoking, not changing could mean a higher risk of serious health issues, increased daily expenses, and the lingering smell of smoke on your clothes and in your home.

Opportunity Costs: By not changing, what opportunities might you miss out on? Is there a chance you’ll forgo personal growth, healthier relationships, or even professional advancements? Staying in a sedentary lifestyle, for example, could mean missing the joys of outdoor activities, the satisfaction of achieving fitness goals, or simply the health benefits of an active life.

Emotional and Psychological Costs: Maintaining the status quo can have emotional repercussions such as feelings of regret, low self-esteem, and the nagging sense that you’re not living up to your potential. If your current behavior conflicts with your values or desired self-image, not changing can lead to a persistent sense of incongruity.

Impact on Relationships: Consider how your behavior affects those around you. By not changing, could your relationships suffer? For instance, habits like excessive drinking can strain personal connections and lead to conflicts or misunderstandings.

Quality of Life: Assess how your current behavior shapes your quality of life. Does it prevent you from feeling your best or living life fully? If late-night snacking is keeping you from a good night’s sleep, you’re not just affecting your waistline but also your energy levels, mood, and productivity the following day.

Contemplating the drawbacks of not changing can be a powerful motivator. It’s not about inducing fear, but rather about gaining a clear-eyed view of the cost of inaction. This perspective can tip the scales when ambivalence weighs heavy, sparking the motivation needed to embark on the path of change.

Reflecting on the consequences of maintaining your current behavior can be a sobering but necessary step in your journey towards change. Often, it’s the realization of what might happen if you don’t change that becomes the catalyst for real transformation. To help bring these realizations to light, engage in the following sentence completion exercise. Be honest and direct with your responses; they are for you and you alone.

Sentence Completion Exercise: Discovering Your Own Drawbacks of Not Changing

  • “If I continue this behavior, the negative consequences could include…”
  • “By not changing, I might miss out on opportunities such as…”
  • “The emotional and psychological cost of not changing might make me feel…”
  • “If I don’t make this change, my relationships could…”
  • “The impact on my quality of life by not changing could mean…”

This exercise is intended to help you articulate the potential repercussions of inaction. It’s easy to ignore or downplay these costs when they’re just nebulous worries floating in your mind. Writing them down makes them concrete and can often make the need for change more urgent and clear. As you complete each sentence, you may find that the reasons to pursue change far outweigh the comfort of staying where you are.

Consider the Benefits of Change

Imagine a life where you’ve made the change you’re contemplating. It’s a life where the shackles of your old behavior no longer hold you back. Picturing the positive outcomes of this change can help propel you forward. Let’s explore what this brighter future might hold for you.

Enhanced Health and Wellbeing: The decision to transform your habits can lead directly to improved physical health. Whether it’s quitting smoking, eating healthier, or incorporating exercise into your routine, each change opens the door to a stronger, more vibrant you. Picture waking up with more energy, enjoying a clearer mind, and feeling the benefits of a body that’s being taken care of.

New Opportunities: With change comes the potential for new doors to open. If you’re more active, perhaps you’ll discover a passion for hiking or cycling. If you curb late-night snacking or drinking alcohol, maybe you’ll find that you’re more productive in the mornings. Each positive change can ripple out, influencing various aspects of your life and presenting opportunities that you can’t yet foresee.

Improved Relationships: As you change, your relationships might start to shift for the better. Healthier habits can lead to a more positive outlook, making you a more engaging and present friend, partner, or family member. Your commitment to change can also inspire those around you, potentially leading to shared activities and goals that strengthen your bonds.

Greater Self-Confidence: Every step you take towards change is a step towards becoming the person you want to be. Achieving even small milestones can significantly boost your self-confidence and self-esteem. Embrace the empowering feeling that comes from setting a goal and seeing it through.

Alignment with Your Values: Living in a way that aligns with your values is profoundly satisfying. If you value health, every choice that supports this brings a sense of integrity and fulfillment. If you cherish family, changes that allow you to spend quality time with loved ones will enrich your life immeasurably.

Visualize these benefits and let them sink in. They are not just hypothetical; they could be your reality. With each benefit clearly in mind, you can build the resolve needed to push past the inertia of the current moment and move into a future that is more in tune with who you truly want to be.

Worksheet: Exploring the Benefits of Your Change

This worksheet is designed to help you delve into the potential benefits that change could bring into your life. Take your time with each question, allowing yourself to fully envision how your life could improve.

Enhanced Health and Wellbeing

  • What specific health benefits do you anticipate from making this change?
  • How do you imagine feeling physically after this change has been implemented?
  • In what ways could your mental health improve as a result of this change?

New Opportunities

  • List any new activities or hobbies you might try once you’ve made this change.
  • What are some new goals you could pursue that are currently hindered by your present behavior?
  • How might your professional life or personal growth benefit from this change?

Improved Relationships

  • Identify the relationships that might improve as a result of your change.
  • How will your behavior change positively affect those around you?
  • In what ways can this change create opportunities for shared experiences with others?

Greater Self-Confidence

  • What achievements will make you feel proud once you’ve made this change?
  • How might overcoming the challenges of this change enhance your self-view?
  • Describe how you will celebrate your successes along the way.

Alignment with Your Values

  • Which of your core values will be supported by this change?
  • How does this change reflect the person you aspire to be?
  • What does living in alignment with your values look like on a daily basis?

Reflection Exercise:

  • Write a brief narrative of your future self, enjoying the benefits of this change.
  • Imagine advising a friend who has successfully made this change. What would you say to them? Now, turn that advice to yourself.

Take your completed worksheet as a map of your aspirations and let it guide you through your journey of change. Keep it somewhere you can see it often, to remind yourself of the meaningful and attainable benefits awaiting you.

Examine Misalignment of Behavior and Values

You might find yourself engaging in habits that don’t align with your core values. Reflect on these values—those principles that you hold dear and that define who you are or who you want to be. Now, consider your current behavior. Does this behavior support your values, or does it pull you away from them? Perhaps you value health, yet you find yourself drinking too much alcohol; maybe you cherish family time, but excessive work is eating into these precious moments. This recognition of misalignment is the first step towards meaningful change.

Exploring the Consequences of the Discrepancy

Living out of sync with your values can lead to an internal conflict that impacts your life more than you may realize. It can manifest as persistent discomfort, a vague sense of dissatisfaction, or even lead to more profound issues like depression and anxiety. Ask yourself what it has cost you to live this way. How has it affected your self-esteem, your potential for happiness, and your relationships? The consequences of this discrepancy are the very reasons why change is not just beneficial, but necessary.

Recognizing that your current path is not leading you where you want to go can be the spark needed to ignite your motivation. It’s not just about making a change; it’s about making the change now. Why wait to be the person you aspire to be? Delaying change can mean prolonging the discomfort and missing out on the life you envision. Create a sense of urgency by setting a date for when you want to start seeing change, and identify the first step you will take towards it. Your values are calling you to action—answer that call and commit to aligning your behavior with what truly matters to you.

Plan for Initial Change

SMART goals are a powerful tool to help you pave a clear path toward change. They are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. This framework transforms vague intentions into a blueprint for action. For instance, instead of simply saying you want to “exercise more,” a SMART goal would be to “walk 30 minutes a day, five days a week, starting Monday, for the next month.”

Setting Initial SMART Goals for Behavioral Change

As you begin this journey, set initial SMART goals that directly impact your current behavior. Let’s say your goal is to reduce late-night snacking. A SMART version might be, “I will not eat any snacks after 8 PM on weekdays for the next two weeks.” It’s specific (no snacks after 8 PM), measurable (you can track this daily), achievable (it’s a realistic starting point), relevant (it addresses the behavior you want to change), and time-bound (for the next two weeks).

The Role of SMART Goals in Sustained Motivation

Setting and achieving SMART goals can fuel your motivation, creating a cycle of success. Each time you meet a goal, take time to celebrate that win, no matter how small. This acknowledgment reinforces your confidence to take on the next challenge. As you witness your own progress, your belief in the possibility of change becomes stronger, sustaining your motivation over the long haul. Remember, every sizable achievement is a series of smaller victories. Keep your goals SMART, and watch as the small steps add up to significant transformation.

SMART Goal Worksheet

This worksheet is designed to help you create and commit to SMART goals that will guide your behavioral change. Take it step by step, and by the end, you will have a clear, actionable plan to follow.

Goal Statement: Write down the broad change you want to make.

S – Specific

  • What exactly will you do?
  • Who needs to be involved?
  • Where will this take place?
  • What are the details?

M – Measurable

  • How will you track your progress?
  • What is your target?
  • How will you know when you have reached your goal?

A – Achievable

  • Is this goal realistic with effort and commitment?
  • Do you have the resources to make this happen?
  • If not, how can you obtain them?

R – Relevant

  • Why is this goal important to you?
  • How does it align with your broader life values?
  • How will it contribute to your self-improvement?

T – Time-bound

  • When will you start taking action?
  • What is your deadline to achieve this goal?
  • Can you set milestones along the way?

Action Steps: List the steps you need to take to achieve your goal. Make sure each step is a mini SMART goal in itself!

Potential Barriers: What obstacles might you face, and how will you overcome them?

Support System: Who can help you stay accountable?

Reward System: How will you celebrate reaching milestones and ultimately achieving your goal?

By filling out this worksheet, you’ve turned your intention into a plan. Keep this worksheet visible as a daily reminder of your commitment, and review it regularly to track your progress and stay motivated.

Create a Vision for Long Term Change

Understanding the Concept of Stretch Goals

Stretch goals are ambitious objectives that push you beyond your current capabilities and comfort zone. They are not just steps towards a destination; they are leaps towards a transformative experience. While they should be challenging, stretch goals still need to be within the realm of possibility—they are the dreams that inspire you to reach higher.

While SMART goals keep you grounded with short-term, achievable targets, stretch goals invite you to envision a bigger picture and drive long-term growth. They serve as the beacon on the horizon, guiding your journey and inspiring continuous effort. As you achieve your SMART goals, your stretch goals then adjust and extend, constantly moving you forward and preventing complacency.

To set stretch goals, think about where you want to be after you’ve achieved your initial SMART goals. If your SMART goal was to jog 30 minutes a day, a stretch goal might be to run a half-marathon in six months. It should excite you and perhaps even make you a little nervous—that’s how you know it’s a stretch. Break this long-term goal into smaller objectives that you can start working towards immediately, each with its own set of SMART criteria.

Remember, the path to achieving stretch goals is often non-linear and requires adaptability. Expect setbacks, and view them not as failures but as learning experiences that bring you closer to your grand ambitions. With each stretch goal you set, you expand the boundaries of your potential and unlock new levels of personal achievement.

The transition from planning to action is critical. Begin by establishing clear starting points and quick wins—small successes that build momentum. Visualize your success and rehearse your actions mentally. Use calendars and set reminders to keep on track. Communicate your goals to those who can offer support and create an environment that reduces temptation and facilitates your goals. Remember, the first step is often the hardest, but it sets the stage for all the others.

Overcoming Obstacles and Maintaining Motivation

You will inevitably encounter hurdles. Identify potential obstacles now, and brainstorm ways to navigate them. If you fall off track, don’t dwell on the slip-up; refocus and adjust your plan as quickly as possible. Maintain motivation by revisiting your reasons for change, celebrating progress, and connecting with others who share your goals or can offer encouragement. Keeping a journal of your journey can also provide you with insights and remind you of how far you’ve come when challenges arise.

Adjusting Goals as Needed for Continued Progress

Flexibility is key to sustained progress. If you find that a goal is too ambitious, scale it back to a more achievable target. Conversely, if a goal becomes too easy, challenge yourself more. Life’s variables can affect your journey, and your goals may require tweaking as circumstances change. Periodic reviews of your goals are essential—this is a dynamic process, not a one-time event. Adjusting goals is not a sign of failure but a sign of smart strategy and responsiveness to your ongoing development.

Behavioral change is more than just a checklist of actions; it’s a profound journey of personal growth. Each step you take in modifying your behavior not only moves you closer to your desired outcome but also fosters self-awareness, resilience, and strength of character. You aren’t just changing a habit; you’re evolving as an individual.

As you navigate this path, remember to embrace the process—ups, downs, and all. It’s a rich landscape where each challenge is an opportunity to learn more about yourself and your potential. Don’t hesitate to seek support, whether it’s from friends, family, professionals, or community groups. Support can be a powerful catalyst for maintaining momentum and commitment.

Finally, recognize the transformative power of aligning your actions with your core values. This alignment is the heart of true and lasting change. When your behaviors reflect your deepest beliefs, you not only improve your own life but potentially inspire those around you to consider their own changes. Stand proud in your efforts, knowing that each step you take is a testament to your commitment to living a life that is authentically yours.

Reach Out for Support

Still feeling stuck and ready to start living up to your potential?

Making a change is significantly harder on your own. That is why I’m here to help.

Send me a message here to begin achieving your goals, solving your struggles, and tapping into my support to make lasting change.

Together, we can make change a reality.

Fascinated by ideas? Check out my podcast:

Struggling with an addiction.

If you’re struggling with an addiction, it can be difficult to stop. Gaining short-term relief, at a long-term cost, you may start to wonder if it’s even worth it anymore. If you’re looking to make some changes, feel free to reach out. I offer individual addiction counselling to clients in the US and Canada. If you’re interested in learning more, you can send me a message here .

Other Mental Health Resources

If you are struggling with other mental health issues or are  looking for a specialist near you, use the Psychology Today therapist directory  here to find a practitioner who specializes in your area of concern.

If you require a lower-cost option, you can check out BetterHelp.com . It is one of the most flexible forms of online counseling.  Their main benefit is lower costs, high accessibility through their mobile app, and the ability to switch counselors quickly and easily, until you find the right fit.

*As an affiliate partner with Better Help, I receive a referral fee if you purchase products or services through the links provided.

As always, it is important to be critical when seeking help, since the quality of counselors are not consistent. If you are not feeling supported, it may be helpful to seek out another practitioner. I wrote an article on things to consider here .

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Claudia Jude Dewane

What a thorough article! Your model can be applied to so many behaviors. Thank you.

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Arash Emamzadeh

How to Increase Self-Motivation

Recent research explores the four dimensions of goal pursuit..

Posted January 10, 2022 | Reviewed by Devon Frye

  • What Is Motivation?
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  • Self-motivation means being driven by a personal desire to set valued goals and to focus on and move toward these goals despite obstacles.
  • To motivate yourself, you need to either change the situation or change your understanding of the situation.
  • The four constituents of self-motivation include goal setting, goal striving, goal juggling, and leveraging social support.

The present article reviews effective self-motivation techniques, based on findings cited in a paper by Fishbach, published in the December 2021 issue of Motivation Science .

Self-motivation means being driven by a personal desire to set valued goals and to focus on, commit to, and move toward these goals despite obstacles. Self-motivation is necessary for many situations, especially when what we desire immediately (e.g., eating pizza) is not what we should do (e.g., eating healthy). For instance, we motivate ourselves to do chores , engage in self-care , and better ourselves (e.g., become more conscientious ).

But how do you motivate yourself, exactly? Below, I review effective motivational strategies related to four elements of motivation: goal setting, goal striving, goal juggling, and leveraging social support. See Table 1.

Arash Emamzadeh (adapted from Fishbach et al., 2021)

  • Goal Setting

We begin with strategies for successful goal setting.

  • Set a goal, not a means to a goal: If goal pursuit does not excite you, you are probably pursuing a means to a goal (e.g., finding a parking spot in a crowded area), not the goal (e.g., buying a special gift for a loved one). So, keep in mind your ultimate destination.
  • Set SMART goals: Smart stands for specific , measurable , attainable (i.e. neither too easy nor too difficult), relevant , and time-bound . Instead of saying, “I want to lose weight,” specify how many pounds and in how many months; and how you plan to accomplish your goal. Also, goals should be self-set, not imposed; otherwise, you might rebel against them.
  • Set incentives: Incentives are like “mini-goals” and increase motivation. However, they sometimes undermine the original goal (e.g., you study just for the incentive of eating chocolate). Furthermore, uncertain incentives (e.g., 20 or 40 minutes to play video games, randomly chosen) are potentially more motivating than certain ones (always 30 minutes).
  • Use intrinsic motivation : To motivate yourself, pursue intrinsically motivating goals —i.e. inherently beneficial and enjoyable activities (e.g., a job you love; an exercise you enjoy) and not a means to another goal (e.g., to lose weight, you jog, but you hate jogging).

Sustaining Motivation

To sustain motivation, monitor your progress.

  • Dynamics of goal motivation: To motivate yourself, reflect on your achievements (e.g., good grades; work success). Why? Because they demonstrate commitment to your goal , thus promoting consistency. Alternatively, reflect on things you have not accomplished yet. Why? Because they indicate a lack of progress (e.g., not having completed any extra-credit assignments), thus enhancing motivation to make progress.
  • The middle problem: Motivation is usually high initially and toward the end, but not in the middle. The solution? Keep the middles very short (e.g., instead of monthly goals, set weekly goals).
  • Learning from negative feedback: People are less likely to learn from negative than positive feedback, perhaps because they take it too personally. The solution? To protect your ego, focus on the lessons learned; sharing these lessons with others, in the form of giving advice, may also protect your ego. Additional techniques include developing a growth mindset , intentionally making minor mistakes (to practice learning from errors), and learning from others’ failures.

Goal Juggling

Rarely do we pursue a single goal, so we must learn to juggle goals.

  • Complementing goals: To increase goal commitment , select multiple means serving a single goal (e.g., eating healthy and dancing both help you lose weight; Figure 1B). To attain more goals , use means serving multiple goals (e.g., dancing for both weight loss and increased flexibility; Figure 1C). If you lose motivation, go back to performing activities that each serve mainly one goal.
  • Compromising vs. prioritizing: To resolve goal conflicts, we prioritize (choose A over B) or compromise (choose the middle ground or a third goal C). Framing an activity as progress encourages compromise but framing it as commitment encourages prioritization (see Point 1 in the section on sustaining motivation). So, be careful how you frame activities.
  • Self-control : Successful self-control requires first identifying a conflict. This necessitates examining behavioral patterns . For example, eating two slices of cake in one sitting is not a problem unless done regularly. Second, it requires us to exercise self-control. How? One, by changing the environment (e.g., filling the fridge with healthy food). Two, by changing our perception of a goal’s value (e.g., “I will feel proud of myself if I control my weight”) and reducing the value of the temptation (e.g., “I will feel guilty if I overeat” or “Looking at it closely, this doesn’t look appetizing”).
  • Patience: Goal conflicts often involve having to choose between something good soon and something great later (e.g., a yearly vacation vs. buying a house in five years). How to motivate yourself to remain patient? Use distractors, remind yourself of the value of your goal, and trust the process (i.e. “good things happen to those who wait”).

Arash Emamzadeh (adapted from Kruglanski et al. 2002)

Social Support

Social support can increase motivation.

  • Leverage social support: The mere presence of people increases motivation, magnifying what you do. Additionally, others may set expectations for performance—though in rare cases, too high of an expectation, which lowers motivation—provide resources, join you (e.g., study groups), and serve as role models.
  • Pursuing group goals: When pursuing goals as a group (e.g., be it a husband and wife, a class, or a community), in order to make sure all members are doing their fair share (i.e. to prevent free-riding and social loafing), make contributions public, increase members’ identification with the group, and inspire group members with your contributions. In addition, remember that in many groups, as far as resources are concerned, the goal is not an equal partnership but maximizing benefits for the group as a unit . Naturally, this can be motivating only if the resources you expect to obtain as a group justifies ignoring your personal desires or ambitions (e.g., relocating because of your spouse’s financially rewarding career ).

Arash Emamzadeh

Arash Emamzadeh attended the University of British Columbia in Canada, where he studied genetics and psychology. He has also done graduate work in clinical psychology and neuropsychology in U.S.

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How To Motivate Yourself To Change Your Behavior: 5 Strategies

How To Motivate Yourself To Change Your Behavior

This post may contain affiliate links. For more information, read the full disclosure here.

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a rut, unable to break out of undesirable habits? Do you feel that nothing seems to change no matter how hard you try? If this sounds familiar, don’t worry!

Motivating yourself to make changes can be difficult, but it isn’t impossible. So, how to motivate yourself to change your behavior?

With the right strategies and tips, anyone can learn how to motivate themselves and turn their life around. Read on for advice on how to get started making positive changes today!

Change is hard. Whether it’s a small tweak or an enormous overhaul, the process of shifting your behavior can be daunting and overwhelming.

But that doesn’t mean you should give up on making positive changes in your life; instead, with just a few simple strategies, you can find the motivation to make lasting change happen. Read on to learn how to motivate yourself to change your behavior – and stick with it!

Identify The Behavior You Want To Change

First things first, get crystal clear on what needs fixing. Maybe it’s time to ditch the after-dinner ice cream habit or finally start waking up early enough to see the sunrise. The trick here is specificity. Instead of saying, “I want to be healthier,” try, “I want to eat more veggies and less junk food.”

Why Clarity Matters

Clarity makes goals tangible and achievable. Vague goals are like trying to hit a target in the dark—super frustrating and nearly impossible. When you know exactly what behavior you want to change, you’ve got a solid starting point.

Need more convincing? A study from the Dominican University found that people are 42% more likely to achieve their goals simply by writing them down. That’s the power of clarity.

The Impact of Unchanged Behavior

Think for a minute about why this behavior has to go. What’s it costing you? More importantly, what’s it stopping you from doing?

Maybe your nightly Netflix binge is robbing you of quality sleep, which makes you groggy and unproductive the next day. Or perhaps your smartphone addiction is eating into time you could be spending on creative projects. Knowing the negative impact helps you feel more motivated to make a change.

The Positive Flip Side

Now, let’s flip the coin. Imagine how much better life would be if you nailed this change. Better health? More time? Improved relationships? If you skip the nightly ice cream, maybe you’ll feel more energized.

Swap an hour of screen time for a walk, and you could boost your mood and creativity. Get pumped about the positive outcomes; they’ll serve as a powerful motivator.

Write It Down

Grab a pen or tap it out on your phone: write your specific behavior change goal. Seriously, put it in writing. This isn’t just a feel-good tip; it’s backed by science. When you write down a goal, it becomes more concrete and you’re more likely to follow through.

Pin it where you can see it daily: your bathroom mirror, the fridge, or as your phone’s lock screen. This constant reminder keeps your goal at the top of your mind and is hard to ignore.

Don’t Skip Self-Reflection

Take a minute to consider why you haven’t made this change yet. Fear of failure? Lack of time? Identifying these roadblocks helps you tackle them head-on.

When you know what’s stopping you, you can create strategies to overcome those obstacles, making the path to change a whole lot smoother.

How To Motivate Yourself To Change Your Behavior

How To Motivate Yourself To Change Your Behavior

Develop An Intrinsic Motivation

Decades of scientific research show that intrinsic motivation (IM) is a powerful “engine” of learning and positive development [1] . 

Developing intrinsic motivation is an important aspect of changing behavior. When you are intrinsically motivated, you are motivated by internal factors, such as the personal satisfaction and enjoyment that come from achieving a goal, rather than external factors, like rewards or punishments.

By understanding the benefits of changing your behavior, you can develop intrinsic motivation and achieve lasting results.

Recognize the Benefits

One way to develop intrinsic motivation is to recognize the benefits of changing your behavior. Take the time to think about how making a change will improve your life.

Identify the positive outcomes that you will experience as a result of your new behavior. For example, if your goal is to exercise regularly, the benefits might include better health, increased energy, improved mood, and a sense of accomplishment.

Focus on the Positive

It’s also important to focus on the positive aspects of your new behavior rather than the negative aspects of your old behavior. When you think about the positive aspects of your new behavior, you will be more likely to feel motivated and excited about making the change.

Furthermore, how we talk to ourselves can significantly impact our motivation and self-esteem. Use positive self-talk to reinforce your progress and build confidence in your ability to achieve your goals. Speak to yourself kindly, remind yourself of your past successes, and focus on your strengths rather than your weaknesses.

Align Your Values

Aligning your values with your goals can help you develop intrinsic motivation. When you connect your goal with your personal values, you will be more motivated to achieve it.

For example, aligning your exercise goal with those values can make it more meaningful and motivating if you value health and wellness.

Visualize Success

Visualizing yourself achieving your goal can also help you develop intrinsic motivation. Close your eyes and imagine yourself engaging in the new behavior and experiencing the benefits. Use all your senses to make the visualization as vivid as possible. This will help you connect with the positive emotions associated with the new behavior, making it more motivating.

Visualization is a powerful tool for motivation. Take a few moments each day to visualize yourself achieving your goals and experiencing the benefits of your changes. This can help you stay motivated and focused on your goals.

Incorporate Mindfulness

Incorporating mindfulness can also help you develop intrinsic motivation. Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment and non-judgmentally observing your thoughts and emotions.

When you practice mindfulness, you become more aware of your internal experiences and can connect with your deeper motivations. Mindfulness can also help you stay focused on your goal and remain motivated, even when facing challenges.

Change Your Environment

Ready for a fresh start? Sometimes, your surroundings are the biggest hurdle in your self-improvement journey. Here’s how to switch up your environment to fuel that awesome change you’re after.

Rearrange Your Space

Ever feel like your room’s working against you? Maybe it’s time for a mini-makeover. Move furniture around to create a more open, airy vibe. Toss out clutter that’s been collecting dust.

Do you have piles of clothes from last year? Donate or recycle them. Your space should scream “fresh start,” not “echo chamber of old habits.”

Use Visual Cues

Visual cues can work wonders to keep you on track. Need to drink more water? Place a funky water bottle on your desk. Want to hit the gym? Leave your sneakers out, ready for action. Visual reminders keep your goals in sight and at the top of your mind, nudging you to stay focused.

Limit Distractions

Is your phone constantly stealing your attention? It’s time to set some boundaries. Use app blockers or set your device to “Do Not Disturb” during work and focus periods. Want to read more books? Create a cozy reading nook far away from the tempting glow of screens.

Create Dedicated Zones

Assign specific activities to different areas of your home. Work in your kitchen? No bueno. Transform a corner into a dedicated workspace. Keep relaxing in your living room and work out in a designated fitness zone. This way, your brain knows when it’s grind time versus chill time.

Surround Yourself with Positivity

Fill your space with things that make you smile. Photos of epic memories with friends, uplifting quotes, or even houseplants that add a dash of green and life to your room. Positive vibes are essential in keeping your spirits high on your journey to change.

Incorporate Natural Elements

Feeling blah? Nature’s got your back. Open windows for fresh air and sunlight, which can lift your mood and energy levels. Bring in plants to purify the air and add a touch of green. Even a small cactus can make a big difference in how you feel.

Leverage Social Spaces

Your surroundings aren’t just physical—they’re social, too. Join a coworking space if you’re freelancing or a favorite café for a change of scene. Being around others who are also working can give you that motivational boost you didn’t know you needed.

Regularly Update Your Environment

Think of your space as a living entity; it should evolve as you do. Seasonal cleanups or occasional redesigns can keep things fresh. This continual update keeps you excited about your environment and the changes you’re implementing in your life.

How To Motivate Yourself To Change Your Behavior

Set Achievable Goals

Rather than creating unrealistic goals that are impossible for you to reach, set smaller objectives that will help you create measurable progress toward the bigger goal.

Set short-term goals that are achievable within days or weeks so that each time one is accomplished, there’s a sense of accomplishment, which helps build momentum and enthusiasm for further action.

These successes also provide evidence of progress toward achieving larger goals – providing additional motivation for continued effort.

Start With A Clear Goal

Starting with a clear goal is crucial in the behavior change process. By defining what you want to achieve, you create a clear target to aim for and a sense of purpose for your efforts.

It is important to ensure that the goal you choose is something that you genuinely want, not just something that you think you should want or that others expect of you. When your goal is truly meaningful to you, it can provide a strong source of motivation to keep you going when things get tough .

Writing down your goal and keeping it somewhere visible can also serve as a helpful reminder of your purpose and help you stay on track. Consider setting a deadline for your goal as well, as this can provide additional structure and help you stay focused on achieving it.

Break Down Goals Into Smaller Steps

Massive goals may seem like climbing Everest without oxygen. Break ’em down. Instead of “get fit,” aim for “work out 30 minutes daily.” Whether it’s studying a new language or acing a work project, bite-sized steps keep you moving.

Plus, hitting mini-goals gives you a confidence boost that fuels your fire. So, think small steps. Tackle ‘em one by one.

Use the WOOP Method

WOOP it up! No, seriously. WOOP stands for Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan. First, wish for something you really want. Next, visualize the best outcome. Then, identify obstacles. Finally, make a plan to overcome them.

For example, if you’re dreaming of running a marathon, wish for it, picture yourself crossing that finish line, recognize the late-night Netflix binge as an obstacle, and plan to set an earlier bedtime. It’s all about turning dreams into actionable steps.

Develop A Plan And Stick To It

Once you have set achievable goals, you now want to create a plan, which is crucial to changing your behavior. Let’s explore how to structure your roadmap to success.

Plan for Imperfection

Perfection? It’s a myth. Life’s messy, and things happen. So, when you design that master plan, leave room for slip-ups. Didn’t hit the gym after work? No biggie —adjust and go for a run the next morning. Flexibility makes your plan unbreakable.

Include some buffer time in your schedule. If you aim to read a book a week, fine but don’t sweat if you miss a couple of days. Just pick that book up and keep going. The key is to keep moving forward with no guilt attached.

Make It A Habit

Ever heard the saying, “We are what we repeatedly do” ? Yep, that’s Aristotle. Consistency is your best friend when it comes to locking in those new behaviors. To create new habits, you want to learn more about habits first.

A great way to implement habits into your routine is habit-stacking, where you attach a new habit to an existing one. Want to journal every night? Do it right after brushing your teeth.

Track Your Progress

Kicking old habits to the curb and adopting new ones isn’t just a one-time gig—it’s a journey. And like any good journey, you gotta keep tabs on where you’re headed. Keeping track of your progress does wonders for keeping your eyes on the prize.

Use SMART Goals

Set goals that don’t leave you guessing. SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. This framework can help you create a clear, actionable plan for achieving your goal and ensure that you’re progressing in a structured and systematic way.

Instead of saying, “I’ll work out more,” try something like, “I’ll jog for 30 minutes three times a week for the next month.”

  • Specific: Pin down exactly what you want to achieve.
  • Measurable: Numbers matter—track progress by counting or documenting.
  • Achievable: Don’t aim for the moon if you’ve never left the couch.
  • Relevant: Make sure it lines up with your bigger picture.
  • Time-bound: Deadlines, people! They keep you accountable.

Monitor and Reflect

Keeping an eye on what you’re doing and having a mini brain check every now and then can work wonders.

  • Journal it: Jot down your daily wins and hiccups. Writing helps things stick.
  • App it up: There are tons of apps like HabitBull, Streaks, or even a plain ol’ calendar to capture your progress.
  • Reflect on the regular: Look back at what you’ve written. Celebrate small victories, and tweak things that didn’t go so hot. Regular reflection keeps you in tune with your journey.
  • Buddy System: Share updates with a trusted friend—it brings in that extra layer of accountability.

Take One Step At A Time

When setting out on any journey – physical or otherwise – having too many steps at once can cause confusion, frustration, and eventually burnout before reaching the desired destination.

Instead, break down large tasks into manageable chunks, making them less intimidating while still allowing forward motion toward success.

Reward Yourself For Small Victories

Learning how to reward yourself along the way makes all efforts feel worthwhile even if they seem insignificant; plus, rewards serve as extra incentives throughout difficult times during long-term projects, helping keep levels of energy high until completion marks victory over old habits and welcomed welcome arrival of new ones.

It’s essential to take time to celebrate your successes along the way. When you achieve a goal or reach a milestone, take time to acknowledge and celebrate your progress. This can help build momentum and motivate you to continue working towards your goals.

Hold Yourself Accountable

Holding yourself accountable for your progress can help keep you motivated and on track. Set up a system of accountability, such as regularly checking in with a friend or writing down your progress in a journal. This can help you stay focused on your goals and provide a sense of accomplishment as you see your progress.

It’s easy to become stuck in cycles of self-doubt during times when motivation dwindles, but having friends, family members, or other professionals who understand similar situations provides the support needed to push through tough spots.

Plus, knowing someone has faith in their own abilities often serves to increase confidence and take necessary risks to achieve desired outcomes.

Help Yourself To Stay Motivated

Knowing why you want to change? That’s your secret weapon. Think about what pulled you to make this shift. Is it for better health, more energy, or simply to feel awesome every day?

Whenever you feel like giving up, remind yourself of this reason. Create a vision board showcasing your goals and the reasons behind them. A visual reminder helps keep your focus sharp when motivation dips.

Another way to help yourself stay motivated is to incorporate gratitude into your daily routine. Start or end your day by jotting down a few things you’re thankful for. This habit shifts your focus from what’s missing to appreciating what’s already there.

These positive vibes can fuel your desire to keep pushing forward. Apps and journals are great tools to keep this practice consistent. Even saying a simple “thanks” out loud can change your mood and mindset.

Frequently Asked Questions

To motivate yourself, make sure to break your goals into manageable steps, make them very clear, surround yourself with support, and celebrate your progress.

The first step is to identify what matters to you because that will help you find motivation. Then, create the main goals. To make it less overwhelming, break the goals into smaller tasks and take ownership of your choices.

Recognize what needs changing, set goals, establish routines, stay mindful, seek help when needed, and give yourself time to grow.

We at Mind Growth take every opportunity to use high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our  editorial guidelines  to learn more about how we keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

[1]  Reed W. Larson, Natalie Rusk, Chapter 5 – Intrinsic Motivation and Positive Development , Editor(s): Richard M. Lerner, Jacqueline V. Lerner, Janette B. Benson, Advances in Child Development and Behavior.

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My name is Simone, and I'm the owner & founder of We Mind Growth. I'm an HR Expert turned entrepreneur who loves Psychology and Change Management and has certificates in Coaching and Training. Moreover, I have personal experience with anxiety, panic attacks, chronic pain, and burnout. Click here to learn more about me.

This is very useful as sometimes we have the need/idea to change a habit or behaviour but we often struggle with the motivation (I know I do with certain things). Thanks for all the tips and information!

Thank you so much, I’m happy you found this useful! 🙂

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How to Motivate Yourself (and Others) to Change Any Behavior

The Mel Robbins Podcast with Dr. Tali Sharot

how to motivate yourself to change your behavior essay

Listen to the Mel Robbins Podcast twice per week, every Monday and Thursday, to create a better life.

Do you want to know the secret to unlocking motivation in yourself or someone you love? 

If you want to change any behavior for the better…. 

Or if you’ve got someone in your life (don’t we all?!) who you wish would change… 

Today’s episode is for you. 

You’ll learn why guilt, pressure, fear, crying, threats, and ultimatums will not help anyone change, and there’s a scientific reason why. 

Then, you’ll learn the 3 very specific tactics that inspire anyone to quickly change their behavior for the better, including specific scripts that you can use with even the most stubborn people.

Teaching you today is #1 neuroscientist, Dr. Tali Sharot. She’s here to debunk the myths of behavior change and teach you how to make any change, big or small. 

Dr. Sharot is a behavioral neuroscientist, professor at both University College London and MIT,  and the director of the Affective Brain Lab at University College London.

Her research integrates neuroscience, behavioral economics, and psychology to study motivation and behavior change.

By the time you finish listening, you’ll know EXACTLY what to do to create any change you want.

If you liked this research-packed episode, you’ll love this episode: The #1 Neuroscientist: After Listening to This, Your Brain Will Not Be the Same .

Connect with Mel:

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In this episode:

  • 2:01: Do you want to learn how to change people’s opinions and behaviors?
  • 4:02: What we’re getting wrong about motivating the people we love.
  • 6:28: This is what we actually should be doing before trying to change others.
  • 9:19: How you are influencing people without even knowing it. 
  • 14:32: Why guilt, pressure, and fear will not help someone change. 
  • 20:05: The 3 specific tactics that will inspire anyone to change quickly. 
  • 23:41: How you should approach someone to make any behavior change. 
  • 27:59: Why is it so hard to make ourselves do what we should want to do?
  • 30:50: Use this trick to get yourself to act now for future rewards.
  • 34:27: How to use “progress tracking” to help someone be better with their money.
  • 36:03: Dr. Tali Sharot’s favorite study on why positive feedback works. 
  • 41:33: The best parenting tip to get your kids to make a positive change in their life. 
  • 46:08: The importance of emphasizing rewards vs. punishments. 
  • 49:18: This is how change can enhance your well-being and increase happiness. 
  • 51:52: How to approach someone you love about a touchy subject. 
  • 54:22: How to help someone who is extremely resistant to change.
  • 56:16: The science-backed ways to motivate yourself to change for good. 
  • 58:55: One of the most important things to keep you moving forward.

Dr. Tali Sharot: 

  • Dr. Sharot’s book, The Influential Mind: What the Brain Reveals About Our Power to Change Others 
  • Dr. Sharot’s book, Look Again: The Power of Noticing What Was Always There 
  • Dr. Sharot’s lab at UCL,  Affective Brain Lab
  • Dr. Sharot’s Affective Brain Lab, publication list
  • Dr. Sharot’s Affective Brain Lab, current research highlights
  • Dr. Sharot, Ted Talk
  • Dr. Sharot, University College London academic profile
  • Dr. Sharot, Max Planck UCL Centre for Computational Psychiatry academic profile
  • Dr. Sharot, MIT profile, Affective Brain Lab MIT website

Additional resources:

  • CNN: Why don’t facts matter?
  • New York Times: How we make up our mind. 
  • Harvard Business Review: The Key to a fulfilling career? Variety. 
  • New York Times: Why we make bad decisions 
  • The British Psychological Society: Just because we are used to something, doesn’t make it okay 
  • New York Times: 9 obvious ways to have deeper conversations 
  • Harvard Business Review: What motivates employees more: rewards or punishments 
  • Time: 7 lessons on how to hack your own brain 
  • Harvard Business Review: How to actually change someone’s mind 
  • Harvard Business Review: A simple formula for changing our behavior 
  • Forbes: Keys to tangible progress: planning, execution, and proof 
  • New York Times: How to have better conversations about hard things 
  • National Library of Medicine: Appealing to fear: A Meta-Analysis of Fear Appeal Effectiveness and Theories

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A behavioral scientist's advice for changing your life

Clare Lombardo, photographed for NPR, 11 March 2020, in Washington DC.

Clare Lombardo

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Subscribe to Life Kit's weekly newsletter and get expert advice on lifestyle topics like money, relationships, health and more. Click here to subscribe now .

For more ideas on how to improve your life, explore Life Kit's New Year's Resolution Planner .

Want to change your life? The field of behavioral science has some answers.

Author and researcher Katy Milkman of the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School is out with a new book, How to Change , that's packed with research-backed paths to personal growth. Science has tried-and-tested methods to help us stop procrastinating, save more money and make healthier choices. She says that if we apply these lessons more widely, they have life-lengthening and even lifesaving potential.

Overwhelmed by doom scrolling? Time to check in with your body

Body Electric

Overwhelmed by doom scrolling time to check in with your body.

A decade ago, Milkman saw a statistic she calls "completely mind-boggling": 40% of premature deaths are due to behaviors that can be changed . That's one reason she wanted to share her findings widely, she says.

Milkman shared some of the most actionable lessons from her research with Life Kit. This knowledge is for anyone who has a goal and wants to reach it — or the managers and mentors helping employees get there.

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"too much rigidity is the enemy of a good habit".

If you're trying to develop a habit like working out regularly or writing each day, letting yourself have a little leeway is the way to make that habit stick. In one of Milkman's studies, she and her colleagues tried to motivate Google employees to work out regularly at the company gym and build a lasting workout habit. The conventional wisdom was that those with a consistent routine form the stickiest habits. They tested this out with two groups. Members of both groups told the researchers they had an "ideal" workout time. One group was encouraged to go to the gym at that set time for each visit, while members of the second group got a reminder to go at their "ideal" time but were encouraged to work out whenever they could fit it in.

The results? Members of the group that worked out on a strict schedule simply didn't go to the gym if they missed that window, while the more flexible group formed a more lasting workout habit.

The lesson here? A key component of habit is having some flexibility.

How to start a new habit: think small

'Tiny Habits' Are The Key To Behavioral Change

One counterintuitive strategy to beat procrastination.

Procrastination is such a beastly barrier to behavior change because of something that economists call "present bias" — we value the rewards we can get in this instant above the rewards we'll achieve in the long run. How do we solve it?

"We're really used to it when other people try to set up boundaries for us — set deadlines, set restrictions on us," Milkman says. She suggests a counterintuitive idea: deploying those restrictions on ourselves.

These restrictions could be deadlines: Research shows that when college students chose deadlines with actual late penalties, it improved their performance in school.

They could also be financial. If you know when you might procrastinate, impose a fine on your future self and commit to paying if you don't follow through with your goals. These are called "cash commitments," and websites like Beeminder and stickK will sell you commitment devices to let you put money on the line.

Remember the power of fresh starts.

We humans tend to organize time around events or exiting one chapter in life and entering another. "You have ... this extra motivation to pursue change because you feel like, 'That was the old me. This is the new me, and the new me has a clean slate and can do it.' So it's really freeing," Milkman says. Recognizing and highlighting opportunities to create fresh starts, even if they're small, like the start of a new week, can change behavior. Research from Milkman and her colleagues shows that just flagging an upcoming birthday can encourage people to start saving more for retirement.

Fresh starts occur at a high frequency. Mondays are a strong fresh start in our minds. "When we just look at when people choose to pursue healthy activities or start new goals, Mondays are a big motive," Milkman says.

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Americans Are Drinking More During The Pandemic. Here's How To Cut Back

Making accountability public can be a powerful motivator — for good.

We know the negative emotions associated with feeling like you're being watched by other people. But Milkman writes about ways that public accountability can be used to help us behave more generously. Just like with procrastination, you can use accountability partners as a way to enforce a "penalty" on yourself.

"If you tell someone whose opinion you care about that you intend to do thing X — you know, 'I'm going to pass my CPA exam by this date' or 'I'm going to run a marathon on this date'... and then you don't do it? Well, that's basically a penalty, right? Because now you have shame and embarrassment," Milkman explains.

"You Were Born Ready To Do It": How To Start Running, According To Peter Sagal

"You Were Born Ready To Do It": How To Start Running, According To Peter Sagal

Change isn't one and done..

Despite all the helpful takeaways from her research, Milkman compares the process of making change or achieving tough goals to treating a chronic disease rather than curing a rash. It's an insight she credits to her colleague Kevin Volpp .

There's no quick fix if you want change to last, Milkman says. Quitting smoking or eating right for a month won't magically make you healthy — lasting change requires lasting attention. "The barriers to change — it's not like those things just go away after you work on them for a month," Milkman says. "They're not curable. They're part of the human condition."

The podcast portion of this episode was produced by Clare Lombardo with engineering support from Daniel Shukhin.

We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at [email protected] .

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How to Motivate Yourself to Change Your Behavior

  • Change Tips , YouTube Videos

Are there behaviors in your life that you’re struggling to change? You know exactly what you’re SUPPOSED to do (or even want to do)… but the day-to-day practice of  actually doing it  is a struggle. You just can’t find the  motivation  to actually make the change. Today, we are going to talk about  meta motivational regulation , which is science-speak for how to motivate yourself to change your behavior.

If we haven’t met, my name is Dr. Karin Nordin, and I have a Ph.D. in a field that specializes in health behavior. Motivation is something that I’m deeply familiar with. I’m on a mission to bring the real science of self-help to you, which is exactly what I’m doing in this week’s post. But don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you to develop discipline or be harder on yourself or just hold yourself accountable because those tips that are not actually helpful. I’m going to give you 3 tangible tools – actual activities – that you can use whenever you’re feeling a lack of motivation to change your behavior.

What actually IS motivation?

Let’s start with a little quiz.

You might be surprised to hear that this is actually false . This is incorrect because scientifically, all of our behavior as humans comes from motivation . We will not do something unless we are motivated to do it in some way, in some form, by something. That’s really important to understand.

A ll of our behavior comes from motivation .

But our motivation to act doesn’t mean feeling motivated . We can take action from a variety of different emotions, not that motivated feeling . If, for example, you’ve ever rage cleaned your kitchen, you know that that’s true.

Also, this is fun in the comments, I want you to put something that you’ve done in a fit of rage. Maybe it’s cleaning your house. Maybe you’ve done an angry revenge workout. Let me know what you’ve done from a feeling of anger or rage.

What is metamotivational regulation?

Okay, so back to it. You don’t need to feel motivated in order to take action . The people that our society labels as “disciplined “, actually have metamotivational regulation skills . This means they have the ability to generate motivation when they need that motivation. It gets them to do the things they don’t consciously really want to do.

Metamotivational Regulation The conscious processing of monitoring and controlling one’s own motivation to increase effort and persistence when completing a task or achieving a particular learning goal. McNamara,  2017 ; Schwinger and Otterpohl,  2017

1. Motivate yourself to change your behavior with task-emotion matching

So this brings us to the first technique, which is called task-emotion matching. Next time you’re sitting on the couch knowing that you have to unload the dishwasher, but feeling totally unmotivated to do it, here’s what I want you to do:

Identify a task in need of completion

First, I want you to identify the task that needs to be done. In this case, the task is unloading the dishwasher. 

Identify emotions that could prompt action on that task

Second, I want you to identify a list of emotions that could prompt that action. So maybe you’re feeling inspired by your future self, who’s really, really tidy, and that inspiration drives you to the dishwasher. Maybe you’re feeling fed-up with the house being messy so that fed-up feeling drives you to unload the dishwasher. Maybe you’re thinking about how peaceful you’ll feel after that dishwasher is unloaded since it’s been nagging at your brain for quite a while. Now, that could also motivate you to unload the dishwasher. Create that list of emotions, put ’em in your head, or maybe even write ’em down.

Match the most accessible emotion to the task

From there, you’re going to look at those emotions and pick the one that feels most accessible at that moment. So if you’re in a really, really bad mood, jumping to a feeling of inspiration probably isn’t going to happen. But you can maybe tap into that fed-up feeling . Or maybe you’re really, really seeking that peaceful feeling , and so you want to tap into that. Pick the emotion that is going to feel closest to where you are now and do your best to feel that emotion with your whole body. This is going to elevate your level of motivation and get you to start taking that task on.

2. Motivate yourself to change your behavior with the Tiny Task Method

That brings us to technique number 2, which is the tiny task method . Oftentimes when we’re unmotivated, it’s because the thing that we need to do is really big or really scary. For example, one of the things I’ve heard from my clients that’s really scary is the process of editing your resume. You feel totally unmotivated to do it. 

This is exactly the relationship between motivation and the task that you’re about to do. One of the easiest ways to motivate yourself is to break that task down into tiny, tiny, tiny steps .

Going back to the dishwasher example, if unloading the dishwasher feels like a massive task at that moment, what you can do is just work on motivating yourself to get up.

Maybe that looks like telling yourself, I’m going to stand up and refill my water bottle . What you’re doing when you stand up and refill your water bottle is building momentum. Then once you’re up and you’re walking, it’s much easier to motivate yourself to just go look in the dishwasher. From there you can say, Oh, I’ll just unload the bottom rack of the dishwasher . And so on. Then, *POOF!* In no time, you’ve unloaded the whole thing. 

3. Motivate yourself to change your behavior by leveraging your values

Technique number 3 is a quick one: tap into the reasons the task relates to or embodies your values. For example, let’s say you really highly value peace in your relationships. And let’s say that when the house is tidy, you and your partner tend to be much better friends. If that’s the situation, maybe you can tap into that value in order to motivate you to unload the dishwasher. 

You may be thinking, Karin, how am I supposed to know what my core values are that I’m embodying on a daily basis? If that’s the case, check out my completely free Future Self Mapping mini-course. In it, I guide you through the process of establishing your core four values . By the end, you’ll have a clear plan for moving from your current 1.0 self to the person that you want to be. 

Now, the last thing I’ll say is that motivation regulation is a skill , and unfortunately, it’s not one that we’re taught in school. However, it is something that you can learn if you practice over time . I know that because I have seen tons of clients in our behavior change coaching program develop that skill. They go from feeling unmotivated to do the things that matter to them, to generating motivation on cue and getting the things they want to do… done.

P.S. If you’re having trouble breaking down your goals, check out this video , which is all about that exact process.

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How to Motivate Yourself to Change Your Behavior

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How to Motivate Someone, Including Yourself

How to motivate

Many proposed motivational strategies routinely fall short and prove to be ineffective when put to the objective empirical test.

We might be able to come up with strategies and recommendations on how to motivate ourselves and others. Unfortunately, what is easy to do is rarely what works.

Science may be described as the art of systematic over-simplification.

Karl Popper

This article introduces an array of methods of motivating human behavior and gives examples of techniques and motivational strategies as well as skills to develop to motivate ourselves and others more effectively.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Goal Achievement Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will help you or your clients create actionable goals and master techniques to create lasting behavior change.

This Article Contains:

Methods of motivation, motivational strategies, satisfying psychological needs, intervening into cognitions, emotions as feedback, learning self-control, motivation and stress, motivation techniques, motivational skills, a take-home message.

Imagine you are asked to motivate your employees to be more creative and work harder. You might first consider offering attractive incentives.

While this seems like a viable solution, these types of incentives are rarely effective; they can also sometimes create serious harm, damaging the very motivation you sought to promote.

Researchers who study motivation often come to two conclusions:

  • Not all attempts to motivate others and ourselves are successful.
  • What is easy to do in practice is rarely what is most effective.

Based on the general finding that what is easy to do is rarely what is effective , motivation researchers have to go back to the drawing board many times over to do the tough work of designing effective interventions and motivational supports.

Among all the prospects which man can have, the most comforting is, on the basis of his present moral condition, to look forward to something permanent and to further progress toward a still better prospect.

Immanuel Kant

Many of those who need to apply motivational strategies to their work and lives also come to similar conclusions. Teachers tend to have much better success motivating their students to read when they take the time to transform the lesson plan into activities that children find to be interesting, curiosity provoking, and personally inspiring.

Leaders have much better success motivating their employees’ creativity and hard work when they take the employees’ perspective and invite them to generate their own self-endorsed work goals.

Even parents are more successful at encouraging their children to engage in socially constructive behaviors when they make an effort to truly understand why their children do not want to be prosocial and take the time to explain to them the benefits of engaging in such activities.

When we replace giving directives and commands with working patiently and diligently to see the situation from the other person’s point of view, we ask for input and suggestions, and pull all that information together to offer some constructive goals and strategies, we often find that we have better success motivating others.

Although all of these approaches to motivate and engage others are somewhat difficult, they are well worth the effort.

Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right.

Motivation is a complex process to explain and equally complex to fully realize. The science of motivation tells us that motives are internal experiences that can be categorized into needs, cognitions, and emotions that are influenced by antecedent conditions like environmental events and social contexts.

These internal and external forces point us to how we can intervene to increase motivation. Depending on the motivational dilemma we are dealing with, we can design interventions that target physiological or psychological needs, specific cognitive phenomena associated with motivation status, or emotional states, as well as make adjustments to the environment to create an optimal context for increased motivation.

The very purpose of studying motivation is to translate motivation theory into practical intervention programs that improve people’s lives.

Often, motivational dilemmas dictate what type of intervention will be used, be it need based, cognition based, or emotion based.

The motivational techniques and strategies described below give examples of how we can intervene in the status of motives originating from these different sources and only scratch the surface of the many approaches to motivation.

how to motivate yourself to change your behavior essay

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Various psychological needs motivate behavior. According to self-determination theory (SDT), we are the very source, cause, and origin of our own freely chosen behavior (Deci & Ryan, 2008). SDT identified three basic psychological needs that we are driven to satisfy:

  • Autonomy (self-determination)
  • Competence (capability and effectiveness)
  • Affiliation (relatedness and belonging)

Affiliation needs occur on the spectrum of association at one end and belonging at the other. We are motivated to form long-lasting positive relationships with others, according to the belongingness hypothesis.

When we experience social exclusion, for example, it can result in unpleasant feelings, a loss of autonomy, and numbness, and we may feel strongly motivated to re-establish social connections. The need for belonging is satisfied by establishing relationships with other people.

Daniel Pink (2009) explains why extrinsic rewards do not work in today’s world because most of us don’t perform rule-based routine tasks. He argues, rather convincingly, that we need to create environments where intrinsic motivation thrives and where we can be creative and gain satisfaction from the activities themselves.

The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.

If autonomy is our default setting, giving us a choice in terms of tasks, time, team, and technique is one way to increase it. When coupled with opportunities for growth and mastery, our intrinsic motivation increases through engagement.

Pink (2009) tells us that mastery is a mindset, demands effort, and is like an asymptote we approach but never fully realize. He also reminds us of the importance of striving toward something greater than ourselves. Purpose, according to Pink, is not ornamental, but a vital source of aspiration and direction.

See our article on Motivation Tools to take a basic psychological needs assessment.

Other recognized psychological needs include:

  • Self-esteem
  • Achievement

The need for closure motivates us to avoid ambiguities and arrive at a firm conclusion. This can have implications for our relationships and ability to function effectively as we respond to increasing complexity in our environment and changes to our circumstances. To satisfy the need for closure, we can provide clear expectations and well-defined, measurable goals, frequent feedback, and timelines.

The need for cognition refers to a desire to understand our experiences and environment through thinking. When we are forced to think on our feet, make snap judgments, or use intuition without the chance to reflect on our experience, we may experience tension and stress. Providing information and compelling rationale for why tasks need to be performed can help satisfy the need for greater understanding.

The need for meaning motivates us to understand how we relate to our geographical, cultural, and social environment. This becomes particularly important following catastrophic events or personal tragedies. According to the meaning-making model, after traumatic events, we are strongly motivated to restore meaning.

This can be done through counterfactual thinking, when we consider alternatives that contrast sharply with our current situation. In other words, what might a person’s life have been like if some other (counterfactual) event had or hadn’t occurred?

The need for power motives us to want to be noticed, influence the lives of others, be in command, and have high status. Occupations that allow for the legitimate exercise of power can provide opportunities for visibility, recognition, and success for those with a power motive. Satisfying the need for control can also involve being in charge of an organization.

The need for self-esteem refers to the evaluative feeling a person has about the self. William James believed that self-esteem depends on how many possible selves, he called pretensions, we have achieved or become.

A contemporary view of self-esteem defines it in terms of a contingency of self-worth as it occurs in various domains, such as academic competence. Successes and failures in a specific domain boost or lower self-esteem, respectively, and provide us with a degree of contingent self-worth in that domain.

We can increase our level of self-esteem by either reducing the number of possible selves or by increasing the number of successes. Our self-esteem is lowered when we decrease the number of successes or increase the number of pretensions.

The need for achievement is guided by two internal sources: the desire to achieve success and the desire to avoid failure. When we are persistent, want to do things well, and have a high standard of excellence, we are said to need achievement.

The motive to avoid failure is characterized by fear and anxiety about failing at a task. The probability and incentive value of success and failure are other determinants of achievement behavior included in the achievement motivation theory (see our articles on Theories of Motivation ). The need for achievement can be satisfied by accomplishing challenging tasks.

One of the most important cognitive phenomena in the context of motivation is our self-concept – how we define it, how we relate to society, ways we use its agency to develop personal potential, and how we regulate the self to enable goal pursuit (Reeve, 2015).

Self-concept is an example of a cognitive mechanism that plays a role in motivation.

Here, cognition is treated as a motivational force. If you change the content of your thinking, you change your motivational state. The same applies to other cognitive phenomena like plans, goals, mindset, intentions, attributions, values, mastery beliefs, self-efficacy, dissonance, perceived control, expectancy, identity, self-regulation, possible selves, and self-control.

We do not see the world as it is, we see it as we are.

Self-concept is learned and comes from how we mentally represent our characteristics in specific domains like academic achievement or interpersonal relationships.

These self-schemas generate two types of motivation: toward the consistent self and the possible self. We are motivated to direct our behavior in ways that confirm our self-view and to avoid those that contradict it.

We also observe others and consider a future possible self that we may want to become. These possible selves become long-term goals that energize, direct, and sustain the motivation to develop toward the hoped-for ideal self (Reeve, 2015).

See our blog post on Motivation Tools for examples of the ideal and future-self activities.

Identity is the self within a cultural context and how the self relates to society. We assume social roles like ‘mother’ or ‘teacher,’ and we act to establish, confirm, and restore the cultural meaning of that role-identity. We also create connections to social groups with shared affiliations, interests, and values, which further contribute to our identity formation.

Self-concept also has an intrinsic motivation, or agency, of its own. When our self exercises its inherent interests, preferences, and capacities to grow, it expands the self into an ever-increasing complexity. Pursuing life goals that emanate from personal agency generates enhanced effort and greater psychological wellbeing.

How to motivate others – Brendon.com

Changes in emotion, behavior, and wellbeing can be used as feedback to motivate others in productive ways. Interventions that alter emotional states toward the positive, produce valued behavior, or bring on a sense of wellbeing can use these changes to form a positive feedback loop and increase motivation toward goal pursuit.

Praise, for example, can evoke positive emotions, while modeled mastery programs can increase a sense of competence through gradual progression. Several subjective experiences of wellbeing, from gratitude exercises to the cultivation of awe, can be used as change inducing and a form of positive feedback. They produce gradual changes in emotion and wellbeing as well as a progressive change in behavior through discipline.

Attentional focus regulation is another way to intervene in our emotional responses to increase motivation. It allows us to reappraise how we see and can choose to reframe a situation, such as looking for a silver lining.

These types of emotional regulation can be useful in contrast to suppressing emotions, which occurs when all the above opportunities for establishing control have been missed, and a person is trying to down-regulate an adverse emotional event (Reeve, 2015).

See our blog post on Motivation Tools for examples of how to intervene in emotional states and amplify the power of positive feelings.

The metacognitive monitoring of our goal-setting progress is a self-regulatory process that increases our capacity to carry out long-term goals on our own.

Self-control is a big part of the process of self-regulation and is of crucial importance in sustained motivation. This capacity to suppress, restrain, and override an impulsive, short-term desire or temptation to pursue a long-term goal instead is quickly depleted when we struggle to override immediate urges.

Take the Procrastination scale on our Motivation Tools post to assess your ability to resist temptations and distractions.

Have you ever heard the saying, “ No glucose, no willpower? ” The biological basis of self-control, according to the limited strength model of self-control, is the brain fuel of glucose. The exercise of self-control depletes glucose and the capacity for future self-control but can be replenished by the following (Reeve, 2015):

  • Nutrition and caloric intake
  • Episodes of positive affect
  • Psychological need satisfaction

Longitudinal research, also known as the marshmallow tests, shows rather impressively that the childhood capacity for high self-control predicts successful life outcomes (Mischel & Ebbesen, 1970).

how to motivate yourself to change your behavior essay

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Stress can have a significant impact on our motivational states. Effective coping with stressors involves planning, execution, and feedback. During the planning component, we appraise life change events. First, we analyze if the event is positive, negative, or irrelevant to our wellbeing.

Then, if the event is appraised as negative, we inventory the resources we can use to manage the event. During the execution component, we determine how to cope with either the original stressor or the stress itself.

Clarifying and trying to solve the stressor is a form of problem-focused coping, while alleviating the accompanying distress is an emotion-focused coping strategy. Emotion regulation is a type of coping that helps us control emotions and how intensely we experience them.

For both appraisal and coping, being flexible helps. Stressor intensity and controllability impact coping strategies. Reappraisal is a better strategy when the stressor is of low intensity, but when stress is very high, distraction is more effective. When stressors are evaluated as controllable, problem-focused coping is best, but when they feel uncontrollable, emotion-focused coping is better.

Finally, during the feedback component, we experience different levels of sensitivity to feedback about the effectiveness of coping processes. If necessary, this feedback can be used to reappraise the stressor and accompanying stress and to alter coping and emotion regulation strategies. The American Institute of Stress has a lot of helpful information about stressors, anxiety, and coping.

motivated athlete

For that reason, most successful interventions do not try to change a person’s motivation or emotion directly.

Instead, effective interventions will more often make changes to the person’s environmental conditions and the quality of their relationships. The goal of motivational techniques is to find, create, or offer motivationally and emotionally supportive conditions and relationships and to leave behind neglectful or abusive ones.

We must also carefully evaluate through evidence-based approaches what the known antecedent conditions are to the motivational or emotional state that we are trying to promote.

Optimal match of skills and challenges

Intrinsic motivation and autonomous initiative are created by activities with a specific set of properties: they are challenging, require skill, and have clear and immediate feedback.

The key to success here is setting challenges that are neither too demanding nor too simple, “a constant balancing act between anxiety where the difficulty is too high for the person’s skill, and boredom where the difficulty is too low” (Csíkszentmihályi, 1997, p. 476).

Csíkszentmihályi (1990), who developed the theory of flow to define these well-balanced activities, talks about specific conditions that allow for the onset of flow:

  • Presence of clear goals
  • Immediate feedback
  • High challenges need to be matched with adequate personal skills, most often achieved in complex activities requiring specific capabilities. Flow is associated with above-average challenge and above-average skills.
  • The task has to be challenging enough to require the mobilization of personal skills, promoting concentration and engagement to enable merging of action and awareness. Repetitive and low-information activities are very rarely associated with flow.
  • Focus on the task at hand and focused attention are must-haves.
  • Perceived control of the situation
  • Loss of self-consciousness

Giving feedback can be a beneficial form of motivation and, if done well, can leave people feeling motivated and positive. Here are some great pointers for doing feedback well according to Robert Biswas-Diener:

  • The power of expectations. The person receiving the feedback owns their emotional reactions to the expectation of the feedback as well as the very process of receiving feedback. Establish at the outset what the feedback is intended to accomplish, what form it will take, and clarify if further work will be expected.
  • The power of accuracy and specificity. Be specific and pay particular attention to the part of the feedback that might be superfluous. Also, be careful to provide feedback on performance, not the person or their character.
  • Feedback is directed at the future, not the present. The focus of the feedback should be the vision of the terrific future work and how to get there, however many iterations it will require.
  • Believing in the project. Your feedback should speak to your personal investment and express your belief that the work can be great and has the potential for success. Worthwhile feedback requires effort and is a very important part of investing in the improvement process.
  • The power of relationship. Harness what you know about the person to give better feedback and keep them accountable; feedback is a form of connection, and you would tailor your approach differently depending on who you talk to.

Distractions

Eyal (2019) defines motivation as the urge to escape psychological discomfort and free ourselves from the pain of wanting; distractions are forms of unhealthy or unproductive ways of escape.

Eyal (2019) challenges us to become aware of what we need to distract ourselves from so we can consciously define what we want to seek traction toward. Dissatisfaction can motivate us and drive us to act. If we are not happy, the pain lets us know that something needs to be done about it, and this represents a perfectly healthy evolutionary response.

While we tend to blame lack of motivation on external triggers, more often than not, it is merely a response to internal pain that pushes us to feel restless and makes us more prone to give in to the urges.

Eyal (2019) suggests looking for the emotion that proceeds the habit, getting curious about it, and instead of trying to escape, bringing even more attention to the craving. Some call it surfing the urge. When you put these negative thoughts and emotions on stage, they tend to dissipate.

The ironic process theory tells us that suppressing thoughts has a rebound effect, causing the unwanted cognitions to persist as our mind continues to monitor for them (Wegner, 1994).

The antidote to this tendency is to actively invite these thoughts on the stage. Lessons from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy show that this works, creating distance between the thought and ourselves and lessening its impact by seeing it for what it is.

This allows us to re-imagine the trigger so we can become aware of it next time it surfaces and track it, especially during the liminal moments when we transition from one activity to another.

Goal setting and implementation intentions

The realization of goals can be effectively facilitated by forming an implementation intention that spells out the when, where, and how we are going to achieve our goal. It is accomplished by deciding in advance of goal striving how we are going to overcome a roadblock. “ If situation Y is encountered, then I will initiate goal-directed behavior X! ” (Gollwitzer, 1999).

Studies show that implementation intentions have a positive effect on goal attainment, promote the initiation of goal striving, shield ongoing goal pursuit from unwanted influences, help us disengage from failing courses of action, and conserve capability for future goal striving.

If your goal is to eat less sugar, your implementation intention could become something like, “ When the dessert menu arrives, I will order coffee .” If your goal is to work out more, your implementation intention could turn into, “ I will work out for an hour at the gym on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays before work. ”

Access the “if-then” planning worksheet on our post on Motivation Tools .

Integration

Dr. Daniel Siegel’s research combines brain sciences with practical approaches to our understanding of human behavior and mechanisms of change. Siegel stresses the importance of understanding the self through learning about the functioning of our brain as well as developing mindful ability to observe the inner states that help us develop empathy toward others and navigate our social world.

If motivation is about change, what brings it about? According to Siegel, change is possible because most human beings are striving toward integration, where we connect the functioning of our inner systems toward the state of inner harmony.

The most ambitious claim of Siegel’s mindsight theoretical construct is that we can alter our physical brain by focusing our attention in a way that integrates a different aspect of our psychological and neurological functioning and practically rewires synaptic connection toward better mental health.

Siegel’s model of wellbeing comprises the process that integrate the mind, brain, and our relationships. He identifies eight areas of integration through which creating an inner state of harmony can be promoted and motivation increased:

  • Integration of consciousness allows for greater awareness and clarity in perceiving our mind.
  • Bilateral integration occurs when we reconcile left and right brain functions, connecting our thinking and emotional brain.
  • Vertical integration allows for greater bodily awareness and is a form of creating a mind–body connection.
  • Memory integration concerns the process of memory creation and how it affects our wellbeing.
  • Narrative integration is about how we find meaning and explain our experiences.
  • State integration concerns mental state integration, like the need to be alone versus the need to be social.
  • Interpersonal integration is about how we relate to others.
  • Temporal integration has to do with our sense of time and is related to existential psychology and our thoughts about permanence and need for certainty.
  • Finally, transpirational integration is about the expended sense of self, and Siegel hopes that cultivating it has the potential to transform the world we live in (PsychAlive, 2009).

The construct of mindsight combines tools of mindful self-awareness with insights into our nature that are driven by a scientifically informed understanding of brain functions.

This understanding of the self , according to Siegel, not only allows us to self-regulate and direct our lives, but also helps us understand others better and can aid us in developing empathy – crucial for thriving in relationships.

His definition of empathy as having a map of others is a potent metaphor, in the same way that his interpretation of psychological flexibility paints a picture of a river between rigidity and emotional dysregulation (PsychAlive, 2009).

Techniques for Sustaining Motivation

It isn’t enough to find motivation. To bring about lasting change, we need reminders, repetition, and rituals.

To focus our attention on a particular commitment, it helps to have reminders. These external cues in our environment can be straightforward and simple or complicated and creative. Here are a few suggestions:

  • Enter your workout times in your planner, just as you would do for a client meeting.
  • Put a picture on the wall or your screensaver of the person who motivates you most to get out of bed and into your running shoes.
  • Trip over your reminders literally: leave your running shoes by your bed.
  • Set your alarm clock to play a song or an affirmation that you find particularly motivating.

Regular reminders can pave the way for repetition, which is essential for lasting change. No matter how hard it is, exercising only for the first week or two of the year likely falls far short of your hopes and aspirations for the new year. Moreover, it is through reminders coupled with repetition that you get to the promised land of change: the cultivation of rituals.

Use technology to bombard your nonconscious brain with declarations of the world you want to create. Technology has given us all sorts of excellent tools.

  • Set up recurring appointments or notifications and schedule the thing you’re changing. Whether it’s gym time, food prep time, or bedtime, schedule it and have everything in place so that it’s more likely to happen. These are environmental supports that make it easier for the subconscious to follow the change in behavior.
  • Track your progress on a chart displayed someplace visible or through an app that requires you to log your achievements; feedback reinforces motivation.
  • Make if–then plans for when obstacles get in the way.
  • Play audio affirmations while you are jogging, working out, or cleaning the house.
  • Play subliminal audio and video recordings to yourself throughout the day.
  • There is software available that will play your affirmations to you by flashing them almost invisibly on your computer screen.

We form rituals after a sufficient number of reminders and repetition because our brain creates new neural pathways associated with a particular behavior. It becomes easier after a month or two to act in a certain way at a specific time.

Words of caution as you create a reminder, repeat, and ritualize:

  • Less is more. Neural overload is likely to lead you to do nothing. Modest hopes and aspirations lead to small wins and gradual change.
  • Fail and fail again and remember that success on the fifth or sixth attempt is much more likely.
  • Public commitments are a strong force. Say or record your intended actions to yourself or a trusted friend or practitioner. Better yet, find someone who can keep you accountable.
  • Affirmations are another way of verbally stating what your desired state is. It sends a powerful message to the brain, which helps to reinforce the desired changes. Affirmations should be repeated in the present tense.
  • Journaling your intentions, feelings, and impressions also creates powerful neural connections and can further support your perseverance.

When we create useful reminders and repeat them often enough to create rituals, we increase the chance of creating a new habit and replacing less desirable behaviors.

how to motivate yourself to change your behavior essay

17 Tools To Increase Motivation and Goal Achievement

These 17 Motivation & Goal Achievement Exercises [PDF] contain all you need to help others set meaningful goals, increase self-drive, and experience greater accomplishment and life satisfaction.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

Motivation is both an art and a science, and requires a considerable amount of practice. Whether you’re a coach, manager, parent, or teacher, you come to realize that not all of these skills come naturally, but they can be improved with practice.

The rapidly growing field of personal and professional coaching has much to offer in the arena of motivational tools and interventions. Sir John Whitmore defined the essence of coaching as “unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance” (Milner & Milner, 2018).

The Association for Coaching (n.d.) describes personal coaching as “a collaborative solution-focused, results-oriented and systematic process in which the coach facilitates the enhancement of work performance, life experience, self-directed learning and personal growth of the coachee.” The focus of coaching is to help the client take action toward the realization of their goals, desires, and vision. For that, we need motivation.

Below is a brief description of some of the techniques and skills usually taught in coaching programs certified by the International Coaching Federation that can be used to enhance a client’s motivation toward goal pursuit.

  • Acknowledging what our clients are saying is one of the most powerful ways to show that you’re really listening and that you care. It can be accomplished through mirroring or paraphrasing.
  • Clarifying and summarizing can further deepen the mutual understanding and help build the rapport necessary to support the motivation for change.
  • Validating a client’s feelings is crucial for creating a safe space where they don’t feel judged.
  • Breaking resistance and asking the client how they managed to overcome similar situations in the past is similar to methods of appreciative inquiry.
  • Button pushing is about helping the client find another way to look at the situation and is similar to the concept of cognitive reframing.
  • Celebrating client’s wins and championing efforts are crucial in increasing positive emotions and similar to active constructive responding.
  • Coaching limiting beliefs is about asking how true beliefs are and how believing them has affected the client.
  • Coaching interpretations is about considering the complete opposite of how the client views their current situation.
  • Coaching assumptions is about asking why, if this happened in the past, it must happen again.
  • Coaching gremlins is about identifying that aspect of the self that thinks the client is less than who they really are.
  • Evaluating is about exploring options and asking the client how will they know when they are successful.
  • Forwarding is about asking the client what they will do when they get there.
  • Observation is about noticing something positive about the client, even if it’s complimenting them on their honesty, making choices, etc.
  • Metaphors are powerful awareness tools that ascribe meaning to the situation and can inspire.
  • Planting the seed is a way of expressing that we have faith in our client’s abilities.
  • Stretching is about asking the client what would it look like to go one step further.
  • Reflection is about checking in with the client and how they feel about what was just discussed.
  • Moving from head to heart is about asking the client to describe emotions that show up during the session.
  • Visioning is utilizing visualization techniques like the ideal future self.
  • Exploring values is about exploring what our clients deem as most important in their lives.
  • Translating needs is another method for helping clients; our needs translate into motives that cause us to act, and these actions have emotional consequences.

See our article on Motivation Tools for more examples of powerful motivational questions.

By now, you should have realized that true, effective motivation is tied to the outcomes that people care about.

Motivational interventions produce better results when they focus on supporting people’s motivation and emotion rather than trying to increase some specific outcome, such as performance, productivity, achievement, or wellbeing.

What are your favorite motivational strategies and techniques? Share your suggestions below.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Goal Achievement Exercises for free .

  • Association for Coaching. (n.d.). Coaching defined. Retrieved October 14, 2021, from https://www.associationforcoaching.com/page/CoachingDefined
  • Csíkszentmihályi, M. (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience.  Harper & Row.
  • Csíkszentmihályi, M. (1997). Finding flow: The psychology of engagement with everyday life . Basic Books.
  • Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2008). Self-determination theory: A macrotheory of human motivation, development, and health.  Canadian psychology/Psychologie Canadienne ,  49 (3), 182–185.
  • Eyal, N. (2019).  Indistractable: How to control your attention and choose your life.  Bloomsbury.
  • Gollwitzer, P. M. (1999). Implementation intentions: Strong effects of simple plans.  American Psychologist ,  54 (7), 493–503.
  • Milner, J., & Milner, T. (2018, August 14).  Most managers don’t know how to coach people. But they can learn.  Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2018/08/most-managers-dont-know-how-to-coach-people-but-they-can-learn
  • Mischel, W., & Ebbesen, E. B. (1970). Attention in delay of gratification.  Journal of Personality and Social Psychology ,  16 (2), 329–337.
  • Pink, D. H. (2009). Drive: The surprising truth about what motivates us . Penguin.
  • PsychAlive. (2009, December 17). Dr. Dan Siegel: What is mindsight? [YouTube video].
  • Reeve, J. (2015).  Understanding motivation and emotion (6th ed.). Wiley.
  • Wegner, D. M. (1994). Ironic processes of mental control.  Psychological Review ,  101 (1), 34–52.

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How to Motivate Yourself to Change Your Behaviour

how to motivate yourself to change your behavior essay

I find this such a fascinating TEDx Talk.

Tali Sharot explains why warnings don’t work to change behaviour, but instead the three things that do work.

Her key findings from the research showed the most effective ways to create lasting change were: * Social Incentives – because people care what others think * Immediate Rewards – because we are driven by instant gratification * Progress Monitoring – by highlighting the progress, not the decline

“If we want to motivate change we might want to rethink how we do it because fear induces inaction, where the thrill of the gain induces action. So try positive strategies rather than threats, which capitalise on the human tendency to seek progress.”

What did you think of the talk? Leave a comment below…

If you enjoyed this, you’ll also like:

these talks on The Power of Vulnerability

How Boredom Can Lead To Your Best Ideas.

and this article Why Workplace Wellbeing is Worth its Weight

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If you’d like to connect with me to discover how I can help your team thrive, feel free to  book a chat into my online calendar.

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How to Become More Comfortable with Change

  • Kathryn Clubb

how to motivate yourself to change your behavior essay

Overcome these three (very common) change-averse mindsets.

One of the most common unconscious mindsets is that “change is temporary,” but when you see something as temporary, you tend to cope with it instead of accepting and embracing it. The reality is that change is a constant, and you’ll need to navigate it often in your career.

  • The authors identify three common change-averse mindsets: receivers, resistors, and controllers. Receivers see change as something that happens  to  them that shakes up their sense of control.
  • Resistors push back against change, falsely hoping it might go away. And controllers find change overwhelming and isolating.
  • By consciously examining how you approach change, you can adopt these strategies to move toward a more change-ready mindset, and welcome change as an opportunity.

The pace of change has increased massively in light of the pandemic. Managing it now requires a strategy akin to whitewater rafting. New and unpredictable obstacles will continue to present themselves every day — and not just for companies, but for workers themselves.

how to motivate yourself to change your behavior essay

  • Kathryn Clubb  is head of  change and transformation  at  BTS , an organization that works with leaders at all levels to help them make better decisions, convert those decisions to actions, and deliver results. After being a partner in Accenture’s Strategy Practice, Kathryn was the Chief Innovator at WHWest, Inc. With decades of experience helping companies transform and execute strategy, Kathryn has extensive experience working with a variety of top global organizations.
  • Jeni Fan  is a senior director at  BTS  and leads  change and transformation  for the East Coast of the United States. She serves as a strategist advisor and thought partner to clients undergoing large-scale change: from culture to strategy, to pre- and post-M&A. Taking a human-centered, evidence-based approach, her work focuses on alignment and building sustained systemwide change at all levels of an organization. Her work spans multiple industries and sectors.

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Ready to be inspired? Here are 11 self-motivation examples

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What is motivation?

11 examples of self-motivation, 4 elements of self-motivation, why is self-motivation so important at work, how to show self-motivation in a job interview, what causes demotivation in the workplace, how to show self-motivation at work, something to remember: the importance of obligation.

If you’re wondering how you can achieve your goals and get inspired, self-motivation examples can help. 

The thing is, motivated people, don't just wake up in the morning and drink motivation juice. Like most of us, they probably drink coffee — but that isn’t their secret. Staying motivated takes hard work, a positive attitude , and a lot of focus. 

We can find examples of self-motivation everywhere. Think about it: To complete tasks and do your goal-setting, you need motivation. Something gets you out of bed in the morning, convinces you to turn on your coffee maker, and helps you choose an outfit. 

That might be your job, your family, or your desire to work out. And while sometimes that motivation is hard to find, we depend on it to succeed in life. 

We all need to fine-tune our motivation skills and become self-motivated to achieve our goals. We’re here to show you why self-motivation is important, some self-motivation examples, how to improve motivation at work, and more. Let's go.

Motivation is behind what you do every day. It pushes you to go to work and hit the gym. Your motivation also pushes you to accomplish your goals and complete your everyday tasks . It helps you to find your passions and learn how to manage yourself .

You should know that there are two main types of motivation : intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation is all about what we want to do and relates to our values and interests — typically, self-motivation is intrinsic. Extrinsic motivation makes us act because there are external factors like rewards at stake. These rewards can be things like good grades and earning money. 

When it comes to learning , motivation is extra important. Studies have actually found that extrinsic motivation can sometimes undermine our intrinsic motivators . But without intrinsic motivations, our rewards don't always motivate us.

For example, we won't grasp the purpose of a lesson in school or a course without an internal reason. Intrinsic motivation leads to enhanced learning, creativity, wellness, and more . 

What rewards are most effective also depends on our interests or values. If we had to take a course on a subject we didn’t like, a reward of a passing grade might not be enough incentive to motivate us . But if it’s a subject we love, we’ll be inspired to learn and achieve a high grade.

What's fun about self-motivation is that it can come in all forms. It’s not just useful for our personal goals , either. Self-motivation is everywhere. However, since it covers such a broad array of areas, it's helpful to have some examples of what self-motivation is.

Here are 11 examples of self-motivation for you to think about:

  • Tidying up your room when things get messy because you want it to be organized and calming
  • Washing your dishes right after you use them because it’ll make your space clean
  • Watering the flowers in your backyard because you’ll see how much your plants grow
  • Helping your mom out with some chores without her asking because it’ll make you feel productive and supportive
  • Working through a disagreement with your partner calmly because you want to be on the same page 
  • Helping to boost your friend's self-esteem because you want to see them thrive
  • Starting your workday on time each day because you want to create a structured routine and finish on time
  • Volunteering to help out on extra projects at work because you’re happy to help where you can
  • Remaining focused at work and avoiding social media because you know that social media tends to drain your energy
  • Pointing out problems and providing solutions on projects because you want your work to succeed
  • Working out to boost your mood because you value physical activity

Self-motivation doesn't happen as a result of wishful thinking. It happens when four important elements work together at the same time. If we have one but not the other, we'll be missing important parts of what it means to be motivated.

Here are the four elements of self-motivation:

1. Personal drive to accomplish your goals

When we discuss this element, it's all about mindset. We can have two types of mindsets: a fixed mindset or a growth mindset . With a fixed mindset, we believe that we can't change or improve, and the skills we have now are the only ones we'll ever have.

A growth mindset, on the other hand, invites challenges. It welcomes the opportunity to learn new skills , grow, and improve ourselves. A growth mindset is key when it comes to motivation.

Woman-looking-up-and-smiling-self-motivation-examples

2. A balance of optimism and resilience

Resilience is all about thinking of ways to turn negative events around. We need to think rationally and logically about our obstacles to overcome them. Our optimism is there to help out with that. It helps us develop a positive attitude and still believe in ourselves. Resiliency helps us bounce back, but optimism helps our well-being .

3. Commitment level to your goals

Our goals should be connected to our core values and what we can do to live meaningful lives. But it's not always easy to point those things out. If you find that your commitment level to your goals is poor, you might need to evaluate them.

If they’re unrealistic, you may be discouraged or disappointed when you can’t achieve them. Make sure you’re committed to reasonable, authentic goals. Try setting SMART goals to stay motivated.

4. Taking the initiative to work hard

Your dreams and goals aren't going to be achieved by anyone except yourself. Taking the initiative to put in hard work and remain focused is important if we want to stay motivated.

Sometimes we have to face things we don't want to that might be difficult, but that doesn't mean they aren't worth it. Our initiative can also bring us positive opportunities. These will allow us to experience things that wouldn't have happened unless we worked for them.

It can be challenging to remain committed to your goals all by yourself. BetterUp can help sustain your motivation levels as you continue your hard work to be your best self.

Portrait-of-businesswoman-smiling-in-meeting-self-motivation-examples

Why is self-motivation important in the workplace, and why should we set goals for self-improvement anyways? Well, for many reasons, actually. 

One of them is that we should be bringing our whole selves to work . If you have motivation outside of work, why not bring it with you to the office? Our work values will help dictate our ability to stay intrinsically motivated in the workplace. 

However, if you can’t find the spark, it might be time for a career change . Finding a job that fulfills your purpose and aligns with your values will improve your overall well-being. Plus, it’ll help you motivate yourself.

Feeling like we're making progress and accomplishing things at the end of the day is great. Your boss isn't going to tell you that you're doing good work for nothing, so we have to put effort into our jobs. When we have to do some teamwork to complete tasks, we might also rely on our motivation to get us through it if we're used to working independently. 

Motivation at work is important for business reasons as well. Studies have shown that workplaces with engaged, interested, and motivated employees are up to 43% more productive . If you aren’t interested in your work, it’s harder to do it — and do it well. 

Plus, Gallup found that in 2021, only 35% of US employees were engaged with their work . Of the disengaged employees, 74% said they were actively looking for new work . Motivation and engagement help keep employee turnover rates low and the quality of work high.

A job interview is a great place to give examples of your self-motivation. Hiring managers want to see that you're interested in the work, value what you'd be doing, and don't need to constantly be told what to do. Make sure you answer your interview questions thoughtfully and in alignment with the job description. 

Group-of-people-sitting-waiting-before-job-interview-self-motivation-examples

Here are eight examples of describing self-motivation in a job interview:

  • Talk about when you did great work because of your passion
  • Give an example of when and how you overcame an obstacle independently 
  • Mention your strong work ethic 
  • Describe with personal anecdotes how self-motivation is a core trait of yours
  • Stay optimistic with your answers
  • Avoid one-word answers or examples with external motivators 
  • Give an example that displays your commitment and resilience
  • Admit when you've made mistakes, but highlight how they taught you important things

Knowing how to handle a motivation problem is difficult when you don't know what causes it. To keep people inspired at work and boost their motivation , it's important to identify what might cause these things to decline.

Let's review the five potential causes of employee demotivation at work:

  • They're bored: When employees aren't passionate about what they're doing, they won't have a sense of accomplishment even after reaching their goals.
  • They lack confidence: Without a strong leader setting a good example, employees might not know what healthy motivation looks like.
  • They feel unappreciated: Employees who know that their efforts are valued and appreciated will work better than those who don't feel like their actions matter.
  • They lack growth opportunities: If people know that they don't have anything else to learn or ways to grow, they won't sustain their motivation levels.
  • External issues: We all have lives outside of work . The problems we face in our personal lives can carry over and impact how we work professionally.

If you already have plenty of self-motivation or want to flex your newly developed skill, there are a few good ways to do that. You can demonstrate that you're a self-motivated employee to your team members and managers with a few tips.

Portrait-of-businessman-at-work-self-motivation-examples

Give one of these six ideas a try next time you're at work:

  • Smile and greet your team in the mornings
  • Share suggestions on projects and listen to feedback
  • Take the initiative on projects, especially when nobody else will
  • Participate in professional events that are outside of your working office
  • Inquire into career development opportunities
  • Put in the effort to become a better leader

We've discussed self-motivation examples, why self-motivation is important, and how we can demonstrate it at work. But one last thing we're going to highlight is an obligation . It's not a type of motivation that's necessarily intrinsic or extrinsic, but it still influences us to act. 

When we feel obligated to do things, it can be from our sense of duty, ethics, and values. Our obligations can still show us how to be disciplined and follow a set routine that gets things done.

Turning your to-do list into a series of obligations might take away from the fun, but it will help you stay loyal to what you need to do. And no matter where our motivation comes from, our actions matter. Goal-setting requires us to be driven, committed, optimistic and resilient. 

We have to take the initiative when needed. Our self-motivation and sense of obligation also carry over to our professional lives. These are both important traits to demonstrate in our jobs. And they’re important to convey when we're looking for a new one. 

Next time you set your intentions and make a plan of action , don't forget your motivation. 

Find someone to help you stay accountable as you try to sustain your motivation. At BetterUp , we can help you track your progress and goal setting so that you continue to learn new skills.

Understand Yourself Better:

Big 5 Personality Test

Maggie Wooll, MBA

Maggie Wooll is a researcher, author, and speaker focused on the evolving future of work. Formerly the lead researcher at the Deloitte Center for the Edge, she holds a Bachelor of Science in Education from Princeton University and an MBA from the University of Virginia Darden School of Business. Maggie is passionate about creating better work and greater opportunities for all.

How to answer “What motivates you?” in a job interview

8 examples for setting professional development goals at work, examples of behavioral goals: 7 career objectives, 10 examples of principles that can guide your approach to work, how to give positive comments to your boss, motivation and inspiration: examples in life and work, 3 stand-out professional bio examples to inspire your own, create smart kpis to strategically grow your business, how to give negative feedback to a manager, with examples, 10 ways to become your best self, motivation vs. inspiration: the perfect combination for success, empower yourself: how to nurture personal self-determination, how to handle a lack of motivation at work, what is the self-determination theory of motivation with examples, no motivation to work: 7 tips to find motivation again, learn how to be your own best ally for reaching your goals, work motivation: what it is and why it is important, stay connected with betterup, get our newsletter, event invites, plus product insights and research..

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Habits — 500-word on Behavior Change: Things I Would Like to Change about Myself

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500-word on Behavior Change: Things I Would Like to Change About Myself

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Words: 506 |

Published: Aug 16, 2019

Words: 506 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Works Cited

  • Oaten, M., & Cheng, K. (2006). Improved self-control: The benefits of a regular program of academic study. Basic and Applied Social Psychology, 28(1), 1-16. doi: 10.1207/s15324834basp2801_1
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  • Eisenberg, D. M., Kaptchuk, T. J., Post, D. E., Hrbek, A. L., O’Connor, B. B., Osypiuk, K., … & Buring, J. E. (2010). Establishing an integrative medicine program within an academic health center: Essential considerations. Academic Medicine, 85(3), 338-343. doi: 10.1097/ACM.0b013e3181ccc24a
  • Bandura, A. (1991). Social cognitive theory of self-regulation. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 50(2), 248-287. doi: 10.1016/0749-5978(91)90022-L
  • Gollwitzer, P. M., & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta‐analysis of effects and processes. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69-119. doi: 10.1016/S0065-2601(06)38002-1
  • Baumeister, R. F., Gailliot, M., DeWall, C. N., & Oaten, M. (2006). Self-regulation and personality: How interventions increase regulatory success, and how depletion moderates the effects of traits on behavior. Journal of Personality, 74(6), 1773-1801. doi: 10.1111/j.1467-6494.2006.00428.x
  • Duckworth, A. L., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2005). Self-discipline outdoes IQ in predicting academic performance of adolescents. Psychological Science, 16(12), 939-944. doi: 10.1111/j.1467-9280.2005.01641.x
  • Tice, D. M., Baumeister, R. F., Shmueli, D., & Muraven, M. (2007). Restoring the self: Positive affect helps improve self-regulation following ego depletion. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 43(3), 379-384. doi: 10.1016/j.jesp.2006.05.007
  • Hagger, M. S., Wood, C., Stiff, C., & Chatzisarantis, N. L. D. (2010). Ego depletion and the strength model of self-control: A meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 136(4), 495-525. doi: 10.1037/a0019486

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how to motivate yourself to change your behavior essay

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