relationship speech

Speech on Relationship

Relationships are like invisible threads that connect people. They can be with family, friends, or even someone special.

Understanding relationships can be tricky, but it’s part of life. It can be fun, challenging, and rewarding to navigate these bonds.

1-minute Speech on Relationship

Good day, everyone. Today, we talk about something that touches each of our lives – relationships. Relationships are like bridges. They connect us to other people, our family, our friends, and even strangers. They help us understand each other and make our lives beautiful.

Next, we have friendships. Friends are like stars that light up our lives. They are there in good times, making us laugh and enjoy life. In tough times, they help us, comfort us, and give us courage. A sky full of shining stars is indeed a beautiful sight!

Then, we have relationships with people we don’t know well. These are like seeds. We may meet someone just once, but that meeting can plant a seed of kindness, respect, or understanding. Over time, these seeds can grow into strong trees of friendship and love.

In all these relationships, trust is the key. It is like the sunlight that helps everything grow. Without trust, relationships cannot survive. So, always be honest, and keep your promises.

In conclusion, relationships are the essence of our lives. They give us love, happiness, strength, and so much more. So, let’s cherish our relationships, nurture them with care, and watch them grow beautifully. After all, we are all part of the same big garden of life! Thank you.

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2-minute Speech on Relationship

Friends, today we’ll talk about something that touches every part of our lives – relationships. Relationships aren’t just about the bonds we have with our family, friends, or partners. They’re also about how we connect with ourselves, with nature, and with the world around us.

In our lives, relationships play a big part. They are like roads we walk on. Some roads are smooth and easy, while others are rocky and tough. But all these roads lead us somewhere. They teach us lessons. They make us who we are.

Friends, too, are a big part of our lives. They are like mirrors that show us who we really are. Good friends stand by us, in happy times and sad. They laugh with us, they cry with us. They teach us about trust, about sharing, about caring.

But not all relationships are easy. Sometimes, we fight. Sometimes, we hurt each other. This can make us feel sad, angry, or scared. But remember, it’s okay to make mistakes. What’s important is to learn from these mistakes, to say sorry, to forgive. This helps us grow, makes us better.

Now, let’s talk about a very important relationship – the one we have with ourselves. It’s like a seed we need to water every day. We need to love ourselves, to take care of our body, our mind. We need to be patient with ourselves, to forgive ourselves when we make mistakes. Only then can we love others, care for others, forgive others.

Finally, our relationship with nature and the world around us is also important. We must care for the trees, the birds, the rivers. They give us food, clean air, water. They make our world beautiful. We must protect them, for ourselves, and for the generations to come.

So, friends, let’s promise today to nurture our relationships, with others and with ourselves. Let’s promise to be kind, to be patient, to be forgiving. Because relationships aren’t just about being together, they’re about growing together. And remember, a good relationship is like a tree. It may take time to grow, but once it does, it gives us shade, fruit, and a strong trunk to lean on.

20 Powerful TED Talks on Relationships & Communication

20 powerful TED Talks on relationships and communication for therapists and counseling students for client education (or for self-help).

20 powerful TED Talks on relationships, communication, and related topics for mental health professionals and counseling students to use as psychoeducational tools (or for self-help).

For more recommended TED Talks, see 10 Most Popular TEDx Talks (a playlist from the TED website), 3 Powerful TED Talks on Grief , 10 Powerful TED Talks on Emotions , 10 Powerful TED Talks on Resilience, Empathy, & Compassion , and 18 Best TED Talks for Addiction & Recovery .

For additional psychoeducational videos, see 50 Helpful YouTube Videos for Psychoeducation .

1. Four Habits of ALL Successful Relationships | Dr. Andrea & Jonathan Taylor-Cummings (2019)

All relationships take work. Dr. Andrea & Jon Taylor-Cummings share their observations of the four fundamental habits of healthy relationships: BE CURIOUS, not critical; BE CAREFUL, not crushing; ASK, don’t assume; and CONNECT, before you correct.

2. Ten Ways to Have a Better Conversation | Celeste Headlee (2016)

Journalist, author, and public speaker Celeste Headlee reveals the ingredients of a great conversation: Honesty, brevity, clarity, and a healthy amount of listening. In this insightful talk, she shares 10 rules for having better conversations.

3. The Brain in Love | Helen Fisher (2008)

Helen Fisher – anthropologist, human behavior researcher, and self-help author – talks about romantic love in this video clip. She shares what neuroscience tells us about the brain in love.

Bonus video: The Science of Love with Dr. Helen Fisher

4. Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome? | Debi Silber (2020)

Dr. Debi Silber – psychologist and founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute – talks about being blindsided by betrayal. She explains how we heal (physically, mentally, and emotionally) from betrayal by turning trauma into transformation.

Take a free quiz to find out if you have post betrayal syndrome.

5. The Dreaded Drama Triangle | Lucy Barnes (2018)

There are three roles we take on in unhealthy relationships. Are you the victim, the rescuer, or the persecutor? Lucy Barnes talks about the dreaded drama triangle in this TED Talk.

6. How to Fix a Broken Heart | Guy Winch (2018)

Psychologist Guy Winch talks about heartbreak and the intense emotional pain it brings. To recover from a broken heart, we must be willing to let the relationship go; hope can be incredibly destructive when we’re heartbroken. In one of the most viewed TED Talks on relationships and breakups, Winch shares practical suggestions for moving on after a relationship ends.

7. How to Speak So That People Want to Listen | Julian Treasure (2014)

According to Julian Treasure, the seven deadly sins of speaking are gossip, judging, negativity, complaining, blaming, lying, and conflating fact with opinion. He talks about the four cornerstones of effective speech as well as tools for speaking so that people want to listen.

Bonus TED-Ed Video: How Miscommunication Happens and How to Avoid It

8. How to Spot a Liar | Pamela Meyer (2011)

We’re all liars, according to Pamela Meyer – and we’re lied to between 10 and 200 times on any given day. In one of the most highly viewed TED Talks on relationships and deception, Meyer talks about how to spot lies by recognizing the telltale signs of a liar.

9. How Your Brain Falls In Love | Dawn Maslar (2016)

Biologist Dawn Maslar explains the neuroscience of falling in love. Romantic love is associated with chemical and hormonal changes that differ for men and women.

10. Infidelity: To Stay or Go…? | Lucy Beresford (2018)

Psychotherapist and relationship expert Lucy Beresford argues against the assumption that ending a relationship after infidelity is the best course of action. She suggests that it’s more courageous to stay and rebuild. In this TED Talk, Beresford explains how a couple can repair their relationship and rebuild trust after a betrayal.

Bonus TED-Ed Video: A Brief History of Divorce

11. Is Casual Sex Bad for You? | Dr. Zhana Vrangalova (2015)

Renowned sex researcher and psychologist Zhana Vrangalova discusses casual sex, long portrayed as a societal sin. She explains how “hookup” sex satisfies some of our most basic human needs.

12. Is It Lust or Is It Love? | Terri Orbuch (2014)

Dr. Terri Orbuch (aka, The Love Doctor®) is a professor of sociology at Oakland University (Rochester, Michigan) and a research professor at the Institute for Social Research at University of Michigan. In this TED Talk she explains how to differentiate between lust and love by recognizing distinctive features.

13. Overcoming the Fear of Love | Trillion Small (2018)

Dr. Trillion Small, licensed marriage and family therapist, examines why we fear love and how to overcome this in order to have healthy relationships.

14. The Power of Vulnerability | Brené Brown (2011)

Brené Brown shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity.

15. Relationships Are Hard, but Why? | Stan Tatkin (2016)

Stan Tatkin – relationship expert, clinician, teacher, and researcher – explores why we fight in relationships from a neuroscience perspective.

16. Rethinking Infidelity… A Talk for Anyone Who Has Ever Loved | Esther Perel (2015)

Relationship therapist Esther Perel discusses adultery and infidelity in this TED Talk. She explains that monogamy has nothing to do with love and talks about the three ways infidelity hurts us differently today.

17. The Science of Love | John Gottman (2018)

Can science help find the magic of love? Relationship expert discusses the science of love and how to make love work.

18. Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships | Joanne Davila (2015)

Psychologist and researcher Joanne Davila describes how you can create the things that lead to healthy relationships and reduce the things that lead to unhealthy ones using three evidence-based skills – insight, mutuality, and emotion regulation.

19. What a Sex Worker Can Teach Us About Human Connection | Nicole Emma (2018)

Nicole Emma explains that sex is how men feel loved and worthy. She shares what she learned about human connection through sex work. She also touches on the impact of harmful male messages in society.

20. Why Domestic Violence Victims Don’t Leave | Leslie Morgan Steiner (2013)

Leslie Morgan Steiner shares what it’s like to be in “crazy love” with an abusive partner. For years she stayed with a man who routinely abused her and threatened her life. In this TED Talk, Steiner explains why domestic violence victims don’t leave abusive relationships; she also corrects common misconceptions about intimate partner violence.

2 thoughts on “20 Powerful TED Talks on Relationships & Communication”

Hi, Thanks for this information about TED Talks. There is another new TED talk that I think you might like and is worth mentioning. It’s on the value of your time. Check it out, http://www.ted.com/talks/brian_nelson_palmer_reimagining_the_actual_value_of_your_time

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10 Stages Of A Relationship From Hello to Goodbye

Most love relationships begin, develop, and even unravel without our being fully aware of what's going on. Especially at the beginning.

That's why it's so valuable to understand the stages of a romantic relationship and how they impact your connection as a couple.

We meet someone, feel an initial attraction, and then if everything lines up as it should, we are swept away in a torrent of chemically-driven emotions.

As you've probably experienced, these intense feelings of infatuation and early love fall away over time and transform into something else.

Sometimes that something else is a deeper, more satisfying, emotionally intimate connection.

Other times, not so much.

What Are The Stages Of A Relationship?

If you are in the initiation stage . . ., if you are in the experimentation stage . . ., if you are in the intensifying stage . . ., if you are in the integration stage . . ., if you are in the bonding stage . . ., if you are in the differentiating stage . . ., if you are in the circumscribing stage . . ., if you are in the stagnation stage . . ., if you are in the avoidance stage . . ., if you are in the termination stage . . ., tips for maintaining closeness over time.

Understanding the relationship stages you and your partner experience can help you navigate these various phases with mindfulness and self-awareness.

You might think about the stages of a relationship by month . We tend to assess a new romantic connection with how things progress from month to month.

For example, here are some of the early stages of dating:

Month 1 is defined by chemistry and attraction, as you are getting to know each other and experiencing infatuation.
Month 2 the infatuation becomes more intense and begins to transform into a real connection between you.
Month 3 the honeymoon phase with all of its intensity begins to settle out, and you become an exclusive couple.

But not all relationship trajectories follow a predictable monthly schedule. So much depends on how much time you spend with one another as well as the personalities and emotional needs of the two people involved.

One of the best models for relationship phases is that of Mark Knapp , Professor Emeritus at the University of Texas at Austin.

He is renowned for his research and writing on nonverbal communication and communication in developing relationships.

He developed a model for relational enhancement which routes the interpersonal development between two people.

His model shows us how relationships grow and develop and even how they deteriorate and ultimately end. You might have read about the 5 stages of a relationship, and there are 5 stages of love that couples experience.

But Dr. Knapp suggests there are 10 stages if you include what occurs when relationships start to fall apart. Let's review them.

The First 5 Stages of a Relationship (Coming Together)

1. the initiation stage.

The stages of a new relationship begin when you first meet someone. This initiation stage is all about impressions and appearance.

You are attracted to how this person looks, dresses, and presents themselves, and they are judging and evaluating you with these same criteria.

couple embracing by window stages of a relationship

You both are paying attention to the subtle and not-so-subtle signals you are sending about yourself and your attraction to one another.

Although these early impressions may or may not be accurate, they influence whether or not the two of you want to progress to the next stage.

In the early stages of a relationship, how to act can be confusing. As much as you want to put your best foot forward, try to be yourself. You want someone to be attracted to your authenticity and true personality .

Even if you find yourself physically attracted to this new person, pay attention to their body language , social skills, and any qualities you know you want in a partner.

It's easy to overlook red flags when you have a strong attraction to someone.

2. Experimentation Stage

In this honeymoon stage of a relationship, both of you begin to dig a bit deeper to see what common interests and values you might have.

You learn more about the person behind the attractive face and whether or not this is the type of person you want in your life.

This can be a really fun and exciting time as you discover more about one another and how you relate. Or it can be disappointing when you realize this person isn't the right match or isn't what you thought he or she might be.

In the talking stage of a relationship, it's important to ask important questions, without scaring this new person away.

You'll want to get an idea about his or her values related to what's important to you, as well as learn about areas of compatibility and commonalities in your world view.

You don't want to ask off-putting questions like, “Do you see children in your future?” or “How much money do you make?”

But you want to ask about their life goals, their family and friends, and how they spend free time. You can learn a lot about someone with just these questions.

3. Intensifying or Bliss Stage

Now the relationship is getting more serious and intense. You've found enough in common that you begin sharing more private and intimate information.

You are both checking the other to see if you share deeper feelings, and you're looking for signals that this person wants to move forward.

This is the time when you might express your feelings of affection, start spending more time together and give one another gifts. It's one of the most important and exciting stages of romantic relationships.

It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of this new connection. But this is an important time to make sure you are both on the same page before you become more intimate or involved.

Sometimes one partner is more ready to move forward in closeness and commitment before the other, which can result in the relationship ending prematurely or becoming imbalanced.

If possible, try to pace yourself and use your good judgment even if you are completely infatuated.

4. Integration Stage

Now the relationship is in full bloom, and you are a couple. You spend increasing amounts of time together and begin integrating aspects of your life.

You become sexually intimate and are more willing to be vulnerable and open about various aspects of your life. This is the point when you are truly in love and feel free to express this with one another.

Enjoy it! At this point in the relationship, you both feel secure and happy, and you are able to share more and more of your life with this person.

As you become more involved in one another's lives, you may begin to see areas of possible disagreement or discord.

Use the powerful connection and love you have in these early days to address any possible issues before they undermine your closeness.

5. Bonding Stage

Now the two of you are fully integrated, and you develop a more formalized commitment through marriage or living together.

Your friends and family view you as a committed couple. You may pool your financial resources, make joint decisions as a couple (rather than as individuals), and begin having children.

Congratulations on reaching this important stage in your life.

Considering a long-term commitment to another person is a big step, and it means you have both navigated small and large hurdles in your developing relationship to reach this point.

Having a bonded, loving, intimate romantic relationship is not only deeply satisfying but adds to your health and longevity.

Now your mission is to maintain your close connection and protect it from the inevitable challenges couples face in their lives together.

Be sure you are both committed to putting your relationship first, and that you have a plan in place to nurture your relationship and manage conflict in healthy ways.

The Next 5 Stages of a Relationship (Coming Apart)

6. differentiating stage.

As time goes on and the years go by, you may find yourselves in long-term relationship stages that aren't so positive.

The two of you may see one another more as individuals than as a couple. This dynamic leads to stagnant relationships.

This stagnation happens as the demands and pressures of life pull you in different directions and create stress and resentment.

The bubble of romance and infatuation has burst or is no longer impenetrable, and conflicts become more regular.

It's very difficult to escape this stage, especially if you're a busy couple with children and career demands.

Differing needs and pressures compel you to take out your stresses on one another and protect your turf.

It's imperative for the health of your relationship that you take action to heal the rifts and address the triggers for conflict.

This is a great time to find a licensed relationship counselor to help you get back on track and save your relationship.

7. Circumscribing Stage

At this stage, you begin to pull apart even more. You set protective boundaries for yourself, and communication devolves and becomes less and less intimate.

You may have your own lives, separate friends and activities, and separate spaces in your home.

Arguments push you further apart, and you may avoid arguments because they are so painful, even though the problem or issue stills exists between you.

This is a very painful and lonely time in a relationship. The couple has pulled so far apart they have lost their original intimate connection and respect for one another.

If you want to save your relationship, it is essential you work together with a counselor to heal the damage and define a new way of relating and reconnecting.

You both will need to move past defensiveness, blaming, and resentments in order to build a stronger connection. If one of you is unwilling, there isn't much hope for saving the relationship .

8. Stagnation Stage

When your relationship has stagnated, you've reached the point where separation is virtually complete.

However, the relationship persists for reasons of convenience or necessity. You may feel apathetic and disengaged, but at this point, you don't see a compelling reason to end the relationship.

At this stage, couples may stay together because they have children, even though their relationship has tanked . If tension and conflict continue, it's hard to discern whether separation is best or worst for the children.

It's time to get counseling for yourself. You need help in navigating this very painful time and deciding the best course of action.

You may have financial issues to figure out, as well as coping with the emotional pain of ending this bond.

Even if the relationship has hit rock bottom, the two of you are still intertwined in many ways.

9. Avoidance Stage

Whether you're living under the same roof or one of you has moved out, now you are truly separated.

You spent little, if no time together, and when you are together, there is little eye contact or real communication.

You are taking the first steps toward a permanent end to the relationship.

The relationship has ended in all but the most formal ways. At this point, avoidance is a necessary coping mechanism and facilitates the end of the bond between you. You may find yourself confused and conflicted, and you may attempt to reconnect to avoid the pain of the separation.

Again, having the support of a counselor, as well as a support system of family and friends, can help you have clarity and strength during this time.

10. Termination Stage

The relationship permanently ends through a divorce or the two people moving to separate homes.

This can be a difficult time if there is conflict over money, children, and housing arrangements. For some couples, it is a time of relief and thinking ahead to a new future.

You will likely need the help of an attorney and/or mediator to deal with the practical aspects of dividing assets and co-parenting your children.

If you do have children, you will have several years in which you must navigate parenting decisions, child support, and custody.

Having these decisions formalized through the court system will help you cope with potential conflict and further pain. It's important that you prioritize your children's health and well-being and that you minimize their exposure to negativity and conflict between you and your former partner.

You may begin thinking about a new relationship at this point. Or you may still feel too much pain and confusion to consider entering a new relationship.

Both of these feelings are normal. Use this time to examine what you learned through your previous relationship, and how you can apply those lessons as you move on in your life .

Maintaining closeness in a relationship is crucial to its longevity. After all, love is a verb, and it takes effort to nurture and grow a healthy, vibrant connection. Here are some tips for keeping that close bond in your relationship:

Communicate Effectively: This involves actively listening to your partner and expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully while being open to feedback. It's also important to communicate regularly, not just when problems arise. Regular check-ins and conversations about your hopes, fears, and goals also go a long way.
Prioritize Quality Time: Life gets busy, but it's important to prioritize quality time with your partner. Set aside time to do things you both enjoy, whether it's watching a movie or going for a walk.
Show Affection: Never underestimate the power of physical touch. Hold hands, cuddle, or give your partner a kiss. These small gestures can help maintain intimacy.
Keep the Spark Alive: It's easy to get comfortable in a long-term relationship, so it's essential to keep the romance alive. Plan date nights, surprise each other with small gestures, and make time for physical intimacy.
Express Appreciation: Make sure your partner knows you appreciate them and what they do for you. Say thank you, compliment them, and acknowledge their efforts.

Where do you fall in these phases of relationships?

Knowing that you know about the different stages of a relationship, you can better understand where you and your partner are as a couple.

Hopefully, you are in the first five stages of love, and your connection with your love interest is going strong.

In these initial stages, it's important to:

Pace yourself and give the relationship time to grow.
Be yourself rather than trying to impress.
Learn as much as you can about one another before you become intimate.
Pay attention to any red flags that might sabotage your connection.

If you are in one of the coming apart stages:

Take action as soon as possible to repair any rifts between you.
Reconnect through dates, fun, and intimacy.
Seek professional help with a counselor as soon as you sense a problem.

Understanding these relationship stages will empower you to take action to protect, repair, or if necessary, detach from your current relationship.

Think about where you are now with your partner or love interest, and use this information to thoughtfully consider your next steps.

Relationships

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How to improve communication in your relationships.

We've likely all heard that trite little truism by now: Communication is key to a healthy relationship.

But let's be real for a second. What does it actually mean to communicate well in a relationship? And if you're someone who knows (or has been told) you lack communication skills, how do you actually learn how to fix communication in a relationship?

Ahead, we've rounded up the best advice from marriage therapists and psychologists on how to communicate better in a relationship.

What it means to communicate well in a relationship

Communicating well in a relationship means that you and your partner are able to have open conversations about all the things you need, want, and feel in ways that (1) allow both people to feel fully understood and cared for and (2) continue to nurture the relationship.

"The idea is to develop a shared safe space that's based on mutually agreed upon, nonjudgmental understanding and vulnerability," clinical psychologist Jennifer Guttman, Psy.D. , previously told mbg . "By doing this, you will create healthy reciprocity and a loving language that maintains mutual respect in your relationship."

Couples with good communication skills directly tell each other about their fears and frustrations rather than hiding how they truly feel out of fear of judgment or causing division. But the key is that they're able to communicate those tougher feelings without hurting each other or negatively impacting the relationship in the process.

"Oftentimes, we think that being firm and direct about our needs (and possible grievances) requires us to speak abrasively," couples' therapist Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW , once wrote at mbg . "But the way we approach articulating our feelings is a distinct choice from expressing the feelings themselves."

Reasons people struggle to communicate with their partner

People struggle to communicate in relationships for many reasons, with some of the most common being wanting to avoid conflict, struggling with vulnerability, and being generally uncomfortable with self-expression due to earlier life experiences.

"Fear is often the main reason we don't engage in many of these conversations," marriage therapist Maria G. Sosa, LMFT , previously told mbg . "We fear that if we bring things up, there's a possibility that the differing viewpoints will create division and lead to the end of the relationship."

But this is flawed thinking, she notes. "The reality is the real end begins the moment we start avoiding and sweeping these hard conversations under the rug." We know lack of communication erodes relationships because partners are no longer connecting fully with each other, instead interacting on the surface level.

Some people also struggle with communication in relationships because vulnerability and self-expression are generally difficult for them. Perhaps they grew up in a family that didn't talk much about their feelings, or they've been in past relationships where they were shamed or shut down for how they felt.

How to communicate better in a relationship:

Establish guidelines for how you want to approach communication as a couple..

Couples' therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT , recommends couples have an actual conversation where they talk about…well, how they want to talk to each other. Specifically, she recommends talking about how you want to handle disagreements as a couple, how you want to start those conversations, and what you'll do if the conversation gets too heated.

"Couples that decide in advance how they would like to deal with disagreements end up being more transparent with each other in the long run because they know exactly what to do in order to enter into a difficult conversation," she previously told mbg .

Create a pattern of openness.

Make transparency the norm in your relationship, says Guttman. "Create a sustainable pattern of being honest, staying connected, and remaining open to each other. Focus on getting issues out in the open rather than repressing them out of fear of conflict," she recommends, adding, "Harboring issues under the surface only fuels resentment and compounds problems."

In practice, this looks like telling your partner as soon as you notice something that's bothering you in the relationship. Remember that you don't need to have a specific ask from your partner or even know exactly how you feel or what you want from them as a solution. The point is just letting them into your thought process so they're not in the dark and so you're not letting resentment fester under the surface.

Speak gently.

Avoid raising your voice to the best of your abilities. We all get carried away sometimes, but make it a goal of yours to be caring and gentle toward your partner even when you're upset with them .

"Know that you can choose soothing language, even when making a point," says Moheban-Wachtel. "The second you escalate an argument is the second your partner stops listening. Period."

Avoid criticism.

Criticism is one of the so-called four horsemen of the apocalypse , which are four communication habits that have been found to predict divorce. "Criticism is the act of noticing a problem within your life or the relationship and turning it into a commentary of your partner's character trait flaws," Earnshaw writes. "You can catch yourself using criticism when you say the words 'always' or 'never' when describing something your partner does or doesn't do."

Instead of reaching for critical remarks, Earnshaw recommends identifying the issue that upset you, sharing how you felt about it, and then stating what you want instead. Here's an example she offers:

Criticism: "You always leave the dishes in the sink. I am so tired when I get home, and you never care about that."
Better alternative: "When I come home at the end of the day and see the dishes in the sink (identifying the issue), I feel so tired and frustrated (sharing your feelings). I really want to walk into a peaceful environment (what you need)."

Use "I" statements.

This is a classic tip from marriage therapy because it works: As much as possible, use "I" statements as you move through a conflict. You can describe what happened (e.g., "You left the dishes in the sink last night"), but from there, focus only on your own experience of the event (e.g., "I was frustrated/it made me sad"/etc.) without making assumptions about your partner's intentions (e.g., "You don't care about me") or attacking them (e.g., "You're so lazy").

Empathize first, then respond.

If your partner is the one bringing up an issue to you, don't jump right into defending yourself or trying to explain your point of view.

"Listen to what they're saying, and make sure that you understand it, from their perspective," licensed couples' counselor Jessa Zimmerman, M.A., CST , tells mbg . "Don't stop until you can get in their shoes and see it from their worldview. Do this before you start constructing your response."

Your goal should be to really, truly understand why they're upset, she adds. "That doesn't mean you agree with them, but you can see the situation through their eyes. Then you can proceed to communicate how you see it."

Accept that you will see things differently sometimes.

The way you see a situation and the way your partner sees a situation don't need to line up for you to show empathy for them.

For example, if your partner feels upset when you don't text them back fast enough, whereas you think it's OK to take a few hours to respond to someone because you don't check your phone that often, no one needs to be "right." You can acknowledge that your partner has a different perspective on texting, and if you had that same viewpoint, you would also be upset about long periods without hearing from your partner.

This is what it means to be empathetic toward someone without necessarily agreeing with them.

Regulate your own emotions.

It's natural for us to get upset in a tense conversation, but it's important to be able to manage our emotions without taking them out on our partners.

"Work toward being able to settle yourself down and tend to your own reactivity. This is going to take practice, but mastering difficult conversations includes regulating your own emotional state," says Zimmerman. "If you get triggered or escalated, it's your job to notice that and do what you need to do to regain control."

Learn to self-soothe in the moment, whether that means taking a pause to take a few deep breaths and reset yourself, or taking a 20-minute break from the conversation if you're feeling emotionally flooded. "Then, it is really important that the person who took the break comes back to the conversation when calm," Earnshaw adds. "This return builds trust within the relationship."

Repair any damage and reconnect as soon as possible.

Inevitably, tensions will boil over, and arguments will break out. We're humans. However, when these things happen, it's vital to notice them and then make an effort to repair the damage that's done as soon as possible.

Repairs can look like apologizing for being too harsh, using humor to defuse the tension, or offering a reminder of warmth and care to your partner—like reaching out to hold their hand or pausing the conversations to let them know that you do love them and know you're going to be able to work through this.

Get to know yourself better.

Part of learning how to communicate better is being more in touch with your own emotions, so you're better able to articulate them to your partner.

"Allow yourself to notice how you feel in different situations, tune in to your body, and practice saying how you genuinely feel about things out loud," licensed couples' therapist Alicia Muñoz, LPC , previously told mbg. "It can be surprisingly powerful to say, 'I feel angry toward my sister' or 'I feel scared of being alone' because often, we don't even allow ourselves to be vulnerable with ourselves."

From there, you can practice telling your partner how you really feel about things that happen to you, she says, including things that have nothing to do with them. This will help you build up your ability to better express yourself.

(Here's more on how to be more vulnerable in relationships.)

Release the fear of division.

As Sosa points out, couples often avoid talking about issues in the relationships because they don't want to start a fight or (at worst) trigger a breakup. But it's important to recognize that getting hard conversations out in the open will always help people in the long run. It will help build intimacy in the relationship, Sosa explains, or it will let the couple know that they're not on the same page about something and prevent them from prolonging the inevitable. "Either way, it's a win, and we get the information we need."

Learning how to fix communication issues in a relationship will take time. It's easy to read a list of tips on how to communicate better and nod along, but in the heat of an actual argument, many of those insights go flying out the window. Give yourself grace, and simply work on catching yourself in the moment when poor communication habits rear their head. Once you notice that's happened, collect yourself, apologize to your partner, and try again.

Good communication takes practice, but with time, these communication tips will start to become second nature.

What to do when your partner is a poor communicator

If your partner is a poor communicator, it can be helpful to open up a conversation about it outside of an actual conflict. It's much harder to accept feedback about your tone or communication techniques at the moment when you are already upset and feeling under attack.

So, at a time when things are warm and open between you, let your partner know that you''d like to have a conversation about the way the two of you communicate with each other. Let them know the type of communication you'd like to have in the relationship, being sure to avoid criticism and instead focusing on what you're wanting from them.

It can help to explain why certain adjustments would help you. For example, "It's harder for me to process what you're saying when you start raising your voice because I start to feel quite activated."

Make sure to ask your partner about things you might be able to improve on, too. Come up with a plan for how you can ground yourselves in these guidelines when a conflict comes up, whether that means pausing in the moment to recalibrate or having a debrief session after arguments to talk about how you could've improved your communication during it.

If you're struggling to have productive conversations about your communication as a couple, don't be afraid to schedule a session or two with a couples' therapist who can help guide you through some of those conversations.

Can you fix lack of communication in a relationship?

It's absolutely possible to fix a lack of communication in a relationship. Start by opening up a conversation with your partner about what you're noticing about the way you do or don't communicate with each other, and collaborate on ways you could begin to open up more to each other .

How can I improve my communication skills in relationships?

To improve communication skills in relationships, practice opening up to your partner about the things you feel and need. Focus on trying to talk about these things in ways that are focused on how you're experiencing the issues (e.g., "I feel frustrated when I’m sitting around at a restaurant waiting for you to arrive") rather than on what your partner is or isn't doing ("You're always late"). Pick up a book about relationships for some in-depth learning.

The takeaway

Many people struggle with communicating with partners because it's not something that's commonly taught. People typically emulate what they saw growing up, and if they've had bad experiences being shut down or rejected in response to talking about feelings, they'll likely begin to develop communication issues in their future relationships.

The good news is, it's absolutely possible to learn how to communicate better in a relationship. It doesn't happen overnight, but with the right tool kit and a willing partner, you can fix communication issues together over time by starting to become more aware of the way you speak to each other and committing to doing better.

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7 Ways to Improve Communication in Relationships

But what does a healthy conversation look like? How can you avoid over-communicating? And how can you improve communication in a romantic relationship?

Read on for a summary of some important models and theories in the field of communication.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Positive Communication Exercises (PDF) for free . These science-based tools will help you and those you work with build better social skills and better connect with others.

This Article Contains:

The importance of communication, what is healthy communication.

What to Do If There’s No Communication in a Relationship

How to Better Communicate in Personal Relationships

How to improve communication in romantic relationships.

Communication in Long Distance Relationships

How to Spot Defensive Communication (And Non-Verbal Signs)

Avoiding over-communication, books on communication in relationships.

Quotes on Communication in Relationships Quotes

A Take-Home Message

We all have a strong need for connectivity and belonging. This is why positive social interactions increase our subjective wellbeing and provide greater life satisfaction (Lyubomirsky, 2008).

“It is the encounters with people that make life worth living.”

Guy de Maupassant

Nursing social relationships enhance happiness because spending time with friends or colleagues builds positive emotions—a key component of happiness (Fredrickson & Joiner, 2002).

Interactions with people can be verbal or nonverbal—we can even connect with each other through a smile. A vital element of positive social interaction, however, is good communication. But what does that signify?

Communication is a Vital Part of any Social Dynamic.

It also includes feedback, the response of the receiver to the message, as well as noise, which is anything that can disrupt communication.

Encoding refers to the sender transforming thoughts into communicable messages. The receiver interprets what they receive as the message—both verbal and nonverbal parts. Although this seems simple in theory, as you can imagine a lot happens in between and no message is ever decoded without bias.

The way we decode a message is never the objective reality. We all have our own filters and explanatory styles which create the picture of the world as we see it.

What makes the process of communication even more complex is the fact that the message of the sender is hardly ever just factual information.

“We speak not only to tell other people what we think, but to tell ourselves what we think. Speech is a part of thought.”

Oliver Sacks

In his Four-Sides model of communication, Friedemann Schulz von Thun (1981) points out that every message has four facets to it:

Fact: What I inform about (data, facts, statements);
Self-revealing: What I reveal about myself (information about the sender);
Relationship: What I think about you (information about how we get along);
Appeal: What I want to make you do (an attempt to influence the receiver).

There is never the same emphasis put on each of the four facets, and the emphasis can be meant and understood differently. For instance, a wife saying “the sugar jar is empty” may be less about the fact that there is no sugar left in the jar and more a prompt for her husband to go and fill the jar.

To make it even more complex, as a receiver we tend to have one of the four “ears” particularly well trained (factual ear, relationship ear, self-revelation ear or appeal ear).

So if the husband has a well-trained relationship ear, he may decode the sentence to be something like “you are unreliable since you have forgotten to refill the sugar jar,” and he might retort with something like, “Well you are not very reliable, you still haven’t fixed the light in the kitchen!”

Do you recognize this type of conversation? Things unravel quickly when we are not hearing each other.

The underlying emphasis of both the sender and the receiver on the four facets can create a barrier to healthy communication. It is important to understand that what we hear may not be what the other person was trying to get across.

Think about it: which one is your best developed “ear”? For instance, do you tend to hear an appeal in every sentence? Or do you often feel questioned (hence you are listening with your relationship “ear”)?

In order to engage in healthy communication, we need to be aware of the four facets. So the next time you feel questioned, go back to the original statement and think about the four facets. How else could you have interpreted the message? Focus on the actual facts of the message and use questions to clarify whether you understood what the other person was trying to tell you.

For some more information on the theory and some examples watch this 3-minute video:

What to Do If There’s No Communication in a Relationship

One of the most important communication skills is listening. Deep, positive relationships can only be developed by listening to each other (Weger, Castle, & Emmett, 2010). If there is no communication in your relationship, maybe neither party is truly listening; instead, are both people just trying to prove they are right, or maybe listen while “doing something else” too?

You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.

M. Scott Peck

Here are the most common listening mistakes:

Daydreaming or thinking of something else (even something as simple as your list of groceries) while another person is speaking;
Thinking of what to say next;
Judging what the other person is saying;
Listening with a specific goal/outcome in mind.

But active listening is so much more than not talking. It is an art that requires a genuine interest in the other person, a curiosity rather than an anticipative mind. Active listening involves:

Nonverbal involvement (show your attention)
Paying attention to your vis-à-vis, not your own thoughts
No judgment
Tolerating silence

To revive communication in a relationship try the following exercise: Person A gets 10 minutes to talk about their day, while person B is listening actively and with a genuine interest. Person B is allowed to ask clarifying questions but should not interrupt person A.

If there is a silence that’s fine. Relax.

After person A’s 10 minutes are up (all of the allotted time needs to be used), person B gets to talk for ten minutes as well, while the same listening rules apply to person A. You will find that 10 minutes is a very long time to listen.

You may be amazed at how much you learn about each other, and how this exercise adds value to the quality of your relationship and your communication. It could be something you try once a week, as an intentional way to practice active listening together.

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These detailed, science-based exercises will equip you or your clients with tools to improve communication skills and enjoy more positive social interactions with others.

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A great technique to improve communication in any personal relationship is Marshall B. Rosenberg’s nonviolent communication.

It is based on the willingness and the ability to approach and perceive issues in a non-judgmental way. This is important because whenever you want to change someone, you will create resistance.

This technique is great to discuss an issue that is on your mind. For instance, your partner arrives late for your date and you feel angry and disappointed.

For a positive outcome of the conversation follow these four steps:

1. Observation ≠ Interpretation/Evaluation

Firstly, try to communicate your observations without labeling or interpreting them. In the case of your date arriving late, it is just that: he is late.

Your interpretation may be that the date (or you) doesn’t mean a great deal to him or that something else was more important.

So rather than buying into your interpretation, you could simply say “I realize you were late for our date”. This is a factual observation without any evaluation.

2. Feelings ≠ Thoughts

Secondly, it is important that you communicate your feelings. An argument often develops from hidden emotions. Make sure you understand your emotions and express them in a non-judgmental way.

In the case of a late arrival of your date, you could say “I am feeling annoyed”, or “I am bothered by this because it makes me wonder whether you are looking forward to spending time with me”.

3. Need ≠ Strategy

How to Better Communicate in Personal Relationships

4. Request ≠ Demand

The fourth step is to make a clear request. What does your partner have to do for you to feel that your needs have been met? You could simply say: “That is why I ask you to arrive at the agreed time”.

The four-step process is, as Rosenberg (2003) puts it, “simple but not easy” and it will take some time to get your head around it. It may feel clunky at first, but you will find that with practice your communication will become clearer. You are accepting your partner with all their flaws and asking them in a nonviolent way for what you need in order to be happy.

Active Constructive Responding Model

While nonviolent communication is a great way to improve personal communication, there are also ways you can improve the way you respond as a receiver. Barbara Fredrickson (2003) has shown the benefit of positive emotions for wellbeing. Conversations provide great opportunities to increase positive emotions .

Appreciative feedback in its nature needs to be supportive, inspiring and focused on the strengths of the situation. A common model used is the Active Constructive Responding Model (Gable, Reis, Impett, & Asher, 2004).

	Active	Passive
Constructive	1.) Nurturing Active Constructive	2) Cold Passive Constructive
Destructive	3.) Hurtful Active Destructive	4.) Ignorant Passive Destructive

According to the model, messages can be active or passive, and constructive or destructive. For instance, if your friend tells you that a presentation he gave went well, here are different ways you can respond to him.

The way you react falls in one of four response types:

Nurturing (active constructive) “ That is great! I’m so happy for you! Tell me more about it! ”
Cold (passive constructive) “ Oh, that is good; ”
Ignorant (passive destructive) “ Sorry I don’t have time to listen to you right now; “
Hurtful (active destructive) “ That’s surprising, you’re usually pretty bad at delivering presentations .”

For more examples, visit the following article: Active constructive responding .

If you aim to improve communication, make sure you respond in an active constructive way. Be enthusiastic and show genuine interest. If you were truly happy for him, offer feedback like, “ That is great! Well done! I’m so happy for you, I know how hard you worked on the powerpoint slides and preparing for the speech .”

Also, you could ask your friend what it was that went so well or to share the positive comments they received. By asking more questions you will allow the other person to relive the positive experience—encouraging all the positive emotions to resurface.

Let them feel the upward spiral of positive emotions and float on the wave of happiness. For more information on this theory watch the following video:

Unhealthy verbal communication often starts with negative thoughts or difficult emotions rather than words. If you are in a long-term romantic relationship, you have spent enough time with your partner to feel like you know them inside-out. You anticipate how they react in certain situations, however, your idea of who they are may lead to missing an opportunity to re-discover them.

This often has a negative impact on how we communicate in a romantic relationship—relationships are all about remaining curious about who the other person really is and how they see the world. But, after so many years, how can you see your partner in a different light?

Marva Collins, an American educator known for her tough but respectful teaching methods, has worked with impoverished and troubled students who have a challenging time succeeding in school . Her teaching methods helped them to succeed. Her approach is valuable in any relationship.

At the beginning of each semester, Collins would make a point to tell students they had already received their grades for the school year ahead. She told them that they had all received top marks and their job during the semester was to make sure they did everything not to lose this standing.

So rather than having the students prove to her that they were able to get top grades, she showed them that she believed in them—that they were worthy of the best education. This proved to be highly motivating and inspiring (Collins & Tamarkin, 1990).

Collins’ approach was based on creating the right perception for herself and others. She would treat students as if they were top Harvard graduates, as long as they did not prove her otherwise. Students began with her full trust, encouragement, and appreciation.

Applied to a romantic relationship, this can greatly improve communication. Try the following experiment and see where it takes you.

Assume only the best for your partner. Put them on a pedestal for being so great and then talk to them in an appropriate way. Wouldn’t you like to be spoken to as if you were valued, appreciated, respected, and loved no matter what? In response, how would you react to someone who thought so highly of you? What comes around goes around. You will see your communication improve drastically.

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Communication in Long-Distance Relationships

Communication can be difficult even when we are standing right next to each other, let alone when we are in a relationship with someone in a different part of the world.

In long-distance relationships, effective maintenance strategies are crucial. Being optimistic is important.

Studies also found that openly discussing the relationship and assuring commitment to the relationship are also important strategies (Dainton & Aylor, 2002). Access to technology has made communicating in long-distance relationships much easier, faster, and cheaper. But technology also leaves room for plenty of miscommunications.

While being in touch can be tricky in a normal relationship, in a long-distance relationship the real challenge is the time in between.

The fact that your partner hasn’t replied to your Whatsapp or Voxer message even though she has been online several times since you sent it causes your mind to run free, jumping from one assumption to the next.

The distance between you exacerbates these feelings since you can’t drive over to talk in person. Sound familiar?

If you are caught in a downward spiral like this, you may stuck in one of the main types of thought distortions.

1. Awfulizing/Catastrophizing

Communication Devices while Long-Distance Dating

This thinking trap is particularly dangerous as our mind has a tendency to “close the gap”. We look for information to feed our story and once you have decided that your partner is unfaithful, you are likely to see evidence in every corner.

2. Black & White Thinking

You have finally agreed to meet again in a few months’ time, but then your partner tells you that May is actually not a good time. Therefore you decide that if he is not willing to make May work, you do not want to catch up with him this year at all.

It is either black or white for you, with no room for gradients of truth.

3. Emotional Reasoning

You feel misunderstood after you hang up the phone. The conversation was not flowing and you feel anxious and low. You reason that because you feel that way, it must be true. This is a thinking trap and will not be helpful in creating positive relationships.

The first step to getting out of a thinking trap is recognizing it. Once you have realized what is happening you are ready to pull yourself out of the downward spiral of negative thoughts.

Next, remind yourself that most events are neutral. It is the way you decide to look at them which categorizes them as good or bad. Your partner may be on Facebook after you hung up the phone, but this is just a fact—no need to interpret or judge it. Allow yourself to adjust your lens and focus on yourself. What have you got planned for the rest of the evening?

Remember, what you focus on grows, so invest your thoughts wisely.

So thirdly, change your focus. A great way to do this is mindfulness —a non-judgemental presence at the moment. Mindfulness can help tame those wild running thoughts and studies also show that meditation can reduce emotional and cognitive bias (Hanley et al., 2015).

Watch Jon Kabat-Zinn explain mindfulness:

Some apps, such as Buddhify, provide guided meditations and offer episodes specifically designed for those dealing with difficult emotions. Here are the top mindfulness apps . It is a great way to label thought distortions, and bring the mind back into the living and breathing body.

How to Spot Defensive Communication (And Non-Verbal Signs)

A destructive communication climate can have a negative impact on the conversation.

If people feel comfortable talking to you, they will be more inclined to speak openly and share information. However, when they are feeling uneasy during the conversation they may shut down. This stems from the fact that humans behave much like all other animals when we are stressed: we either attack (fight) or run away (flight).

There are certain communication patterns that tend to increase or decrease defensiveness between people. Jack Gibb identified six behaviors that are likely to trigger an instinctive defensive reaction. Among them are judgmental language, hidden motives, or lack of concern.

If we spot any of those behaviors, we can react defensively without even realizing it. Our body freezes and muscles tense up, arms may be crossed in front of the body. We can no longer accurately perceive the motives, values, and emotions as we devote a considerable amount of mental energy on defending ourselves—the actual message in the conversation gets lost.

A defensive communication climate creates a barrier to open, clear, and genuine communication

(Forward, Czech, & Lee, 2011).

Gibb also identified six contrasting behaviors that can help maintain a supportive climate— a genuine desire to understand, respect, and openness to finding a solution.

The following table shows the 12 behavioral characteristics divided by either supportive or defensive communication climates:

Defensive Climates	Supportive Climates
Evaluation (judgmental and accusatory language);	Description (genuine desire to understand);
Control (manipulative lead);	Problem Orientation (open to finding a solution);
Superiority (perceived power, intellectual ability);	Equality (respect and politeness for everyone);
Neutrality (lack of concern);	(worthy of affection);
Certainty (unwillingness to compromise);	Provisionalism (willingness to investigate);
Strategy (hidden motives and deceit).	Spontaneity (straightforwardness, directness).

Source: Forward, Czech & Lee (2011)

A defensive climate will never provide a good basis for a constructive conversation. So it is important you identify defensive communication patterns and turn them into supportive ones. Ask yourself if what you are planning to say may trigger defensiveness and actively try to create or maintain a supportive emotional tone in a conversation.

For more information on defensive communication watch this lecture:

We tend to not communicate enough, rather than too much. However, there can be too much of a good thing, especially when it comes to smartphone habits. Some couples are in touch via social media throughout the day even when they see each other every day, while others do not feel that need.

There is no rule as to how much communication is healthy—if a couple finds something that works for them, there is no need to change it.

However, if you felt you are over-communicating and would like to change, ask yourself why you need to be in touch? What is it that makes you want to reach out and connect? What is your motivation behind the message you send or the call you make? What are you hoping to get out of it?

Positive psychology is all about flourishing in life—finding solutions rather than trying to understand problems. It is a human need to connect with others but we can’t forget the importance of connecting to ourselves. Are you communicating with yourself as much as you are with others? What are the conversations you have with yourself? Is your inner voice your best friend or your worst critic?

Remember that what we focus on grows. What would happen if we try to meet our own needs rather than hoping for other people to do so for us? What if we communicated kindly when we were upset, rather than suffered or acted in ways that caused further pain?

It is crucial, especially in intimate relationships, to communicate in a way that feels good for both partners.

Here is are our three picks on improving communication in relationships:

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life (Marshall B. Rosenberg). Available on Amazon .
Miteinander reden 1 (Friedemann Schulz von Thun), this book is not available in English. Available on Amazon .
Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis. (Eric Berne). Available on Amazon .

17 Exercises To Develop Positive Communication

17 Positive Communication Exercises [PDFs] to help others develop communication skills for successful social interactions and positive, fulfilling relationships.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

Quotes on Communication in Relationships

Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.

Roy T. Bennett

When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to you in every situation you will have peace despite rejection or disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the negative energy of fear and regret.

Shannon L. Alder

Having not said anything the first time, it was somehow even more difficult to broach the subject the second time around.

Douglas Adams

We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.

Zeno of Citium

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

William Shakespeare

Like painting or singing, communication in relationships is a skill that requires practice. If you would like to improve communication in your relationships, remember the following three things.

Firstly, unhealthy communication starts with negative thoughts or difficult emotions. Words are only the result of those thoughts and emotions. So be mindful of what is going through your mind when you talk with someone. Try to understand and communicate your emotions.

Secondly, be aware of your inner lens which is responsible for how you decode a message. Paraphrasing is a great tool when you are unsure whether what you have understood is what the other person was trying to say. Simply use your own words to summarize how you understood the message.

And thirdly, listening is the better skill to practice than talking. Focus on your friend’s facial expression as they tell a story. Try to listen without thinking of what to say next and try not to judge what you hear.

You will see your relationships improve with these three simple steps. Why? Because good communication is a sign of appreciation. Easy examples of showing appreciation are: I am curious what you have to say, I enjoy speaking with you, or I value our time together.

You don’t have much time? I understand! Here is the Essential Skill to Improve Communication in Relationships in a nutshell, but make sure you read the article for better use of the tools and models.

What are some of the ways that have helped you communicate positively with a partner or friend? Leave a comment below.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Positive Communication Exercises (PDF) for free .

Collins, M., & Tamarkin, C. (1990). Marva Collins’ Way (Second ed.). Illinois (Chicago): Westside Preparatory School.
Dainton, M., & Aylor, B. (2002). Patterns of Communication Channel Use in the Maintenance of Long-Distance Relationships. Communication Research Reports , 19(2), 118-129.
Forward, G. L., Czech, K., & Lee, C. M. (2011). Assessing Gibb’s Supportive and Defensive Communication Climate: An Examination of Measurement and Construct Validity. Communication Research Reports , 28(1), 1-15.
Fredrickson, B. (2003). The value of positive emotions: The emerging science of positive psychology is coming to understand why it’s good to feel good. American Scientist, 91(July-August), 330-335.
Gable, S. L., Reis, H. T., Impett, E. A., & Asher, E. R. (2004). What Do You Do When Things Go Right? The Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Benefits of Sharing Positive Events. American Psychological Association , 87(2), 228-245.
Hanley, A., Garland, E., Canto, A., Warner, A., Hanley, R., Dehili, V., & Proctor, A. (2015). Dispositional mindfulness and bias in self-theories. Mindfulness , 6(2), 202-207.
Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). The how of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want. Penguin Press.
Reivich, K., & Shatté, A. (2002). The Resilience Factor: 7 Essential Skills for Overcoming Life’s Inevitable Obstacles. New York City: Broadway Books.
Rosenberg, M. B. (2003). Nonviolent Communication – A Language of Life . Encinitas US: PuddleDancer.
Schulz von Thun, F. (1981). Miteinander reden 1 – Störungen und Klärungen . Allgemeine Psychologie der Kommunikation. Reinbek Rowohlt.
Weger, H., Castle, G. R., & Emmett, M. C. (2010). Active Listening in Peer Interviews: The Influence of Message Paraphrasing on Perceptions of Listening Skill. International Journal of Listening, 24(1), 34-49.

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The best I have ever read on the subject of communication. Definitely getting my students to also read. Thanks Author.

Awesome sauce 🥰

This article beautifully captures the essence of effective communication in relationships. The insights shared on PositivePsychology.com provide actionable tips to enhance understanding, connection, and harmony. A must-read for anyone seeking to build stronger and more fulfilling relationships through the power of communication!

WOOOOOOW!! What an amazing, insightful, comprehensive piece of knowledge

Powerful insight, thanks a million. I enjoyed reading your post.

Excellent information. Life changing knowledge.

Hello, I had to smile when I read about the four ears. The old saying about two ears, one mouth was enough of a challenge for me and now I find I have four ears!! A light and enlightening article and the videos made a big difference. Thank you

Can you purchase this in a book form. Where can I purchased it. Love the information. I need Help.

Hi Shirley,

We do not currently have this post available in the form of a book. However, if you’d like more practical resources, I’d encourage you to check out our other post with 49 Communication Activities and Exercises here.

Hope this helps and good luck!

– Nicole | Community Manager

This is a great resource, thank you!

I just watched the Active Constructive Response video and have a quick question. it was stated that the active destructive response was the second most constructive response on the spectrum, but I would think that it is actually the most destructive. Not sure why it considered so constructive?

I was as surprised as you when I noticed this, but here is a response from the video’s creator with an explanation:

“The research came from the University of Pennsylvania, I believe. This concept is part of Comprehensive Soldier and Family Fitness (CSF2). Passive constructive is the most destructive because you never actually engage. A person who responds like that seems put off by the person. At least with active destructive, you’re giving input. An active destructive responder probably really cares about the person and believes that they’re making a bad decision. Example: your teenage child comes to you and says “guess what, I just put a down payment on a Porche.” Your response is probably “You idiot, you work at McDonalds, you can’t afford that!” The response, while destructive to the news, shows a level of concern. The Passive constructive approach of “That’s nice” shows no actual interest.”

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15 Of The Best TED Talks About Marriage, Relationships and Love

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There's a TED Talk to cover just about every topic, so of course, I turned to TED Talks about marriage to find out more about marriage, relationships, love and everything in between. These are some of the best TED Talks I found, each bringing something unique and interesting.

No matter what part of your life you want to learn more about or develop, there’s a TED Talk to help you get there.

I’m a massive fan of TED Talks, so naturally, when I wanted to learn more about marriage and relationships, I turned to finding TED Talks about marriage, relationships, love and everything in between.

And what I found was a gold mine! So many amazing talks that challenge the way you think and inspire you to see things from a different perspective. Love it.

Here are the best TED Talks about marriage, but also talks about relationships too because sometimes there’s a little difference in dynamic when discussing ideas and approach to your relationships and love.

Read This: 9 Must Watch TED Talks For Parents

Read This: 9 Powerful TED Talks To Boost Your Confidence

TED Talks To Make Your Life Better Today (Free Playlist)

Fill in your details below to receive your copy of our FREE TED Talks To Make Your Life Better Today Playlist as well as our handpicked weekly TED Talks Playlists.

Your TED Talks Playlist is on its way to your inbox. Be sure to check your spam folder if it hasn’t shown up in the next few minutes. – Krystal x

1 – The Power of Vulnerability – Brené Brown

Perhaps on the of the most well known and popular TED Talks of all time, Brené challenges our thoughts on vulnerability, what it is, what it means for us and how we can actually use it in our lives.

Apply this vulnerability to your relationships and your marriage and you’ll start to see how powerful it can be.

You can find Brené’s book here – The Gifts Of Imperfection

2 – A Better Way To Talk About Love – Mandy Len Catron

How do you talk about love?

The words we use are powerful and can influence us in forming perceptions about our lives. This talk seriously opened my eyes as to how I talk about love and my marriage.

It’s seriously amazing to think that the words we use to describe love are linked to the way we expect love to look, feel and play out.

Like self-fulfilling prophecies. Very interesting.

3 – Technology Hasn’t Changed Love. Here’s Why – Helen Fisher

How many times have you heard that technology has changed the way we love, the way we date and how romances are happening?

With text messaging, Facebooking and Tinder, how much is this actually affecting love?

Helen Fisher says it hasn’t in this really interesting TED Talk.

4 – This Is What Enduring Love Looks Like – Alec Soth and Stacey Baker

How did you and your partner meet?

Everyone has this story, and they love to tell it.

But really it’s the question of ‘How have you managed to stay together’ that is the most telling and the most interesting.

5 – Rethinking Infidelity… A Talk For Anyone Who Has Ever Loved – Esther Perel

Is infidelity such a taboo topic that you haven’t actually spoken to your partner about it?

I’m not talking about just saying that it’s wrong, but talking deeply about it, unpacking your thoughts on it and discussing it with your partner.

It’s an interesting topic to discuss, and this talk will challenge how you think about it.

6 – Love – You’re Doing It Wrong – Yann Dall’Aglio

How do you value yourself and how do you bring that value to a relationship?

If love is the need to be desired by others then we place emphasis on the value they see in us, but what if we emphasised the value we see in ourselves?

Want to have more fun in your relationship ? Grab a copy of our free Mini Relationship Planner, including the 100+ questions to ask as conversation starters.

FREE Mini Couples Planner

Grab your copy of the FREE Mini Couples Planner printable and start having more fun in your relationship today.

Your Couples Planner is on its way to your inbox right now! Be sure to check your spam folder if it hasn’t shown up in the next few minutes. – Krystal

7 – What You Don’t Know About Marriage – Jenna McCarthy

So many interesting stats on marriage, including a heap of obscure ones that are funny too.

A light hearted take on the stats of marriage and divorce including some risk factors you may not have even considered.

(scroll for more insightful TED Talks about Marriage, Relationships and Love)

8 – An Argument Free Marriage – Fawn Weaver

Fawn is the creator of ‘The Happy Wives Club’ and talks about how to have an argument free marriage.

Some may say it’s not possible, but I have to agree with her, as I too have an argument free marriage. It doesn’t mean you avoid communication, it means you avoid arguing.

A fantastic talk about challenging how we think a relationship should look like and going against what others say is or isn’t possible.

9 – Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships – Joanne Davila

“We may know what a healthy relationship looks like, but most people have no idea how to get one, and no one teaches us how to do so. We need to teach people how to have healthy relationships.”

So many people look to fix their relationships with therapy and look to then have a healthy relationship, but by then it could be too late. We need to learn how to have a healthy relationship right from the start.

This is a great talk that gives you ideas of how to get a healthy relationship, and how to avoid an unhealthy one.

10 – Falling In Love Is The Easy Part – Mandy Len Catron

Can asking someone 36 questions then looking into their eyes for 4 minutes be a fast track to falling in love? And is falling in love enough?

Falling in love is different to staying in love. You might be able to fall in love quickly, but staying in love is scary, terrifying and takes a conscious choice.

11 – How Your Brain Falls In Love – Dawn Maslar

Is love simply a biochemical reaction?

I love hearing about the science and more specifically, the neuroscience behind love, the chemicals that are released and the difference between men and women when we fall in love.

Maybe your grandma know’s more about love than you do…

12 – The Person You Really Need To Marry – Tracy McMillan

As someone who believes we should all have more self confidence , this TED Talk is one that I love!

We need to spend more time loving ourselves than we do searching for love from somone else.

13 – The Secret To Desire In A Long-Term Relationship – Esther Perel

When are you most drawn to your partner?

What keeps the desire alive in a long-term relationship?

This is such a fascinating talk about the concept of desire and how it is different to love.

14 – Relationships Are Hard, But Why? – Stan Tatkin

What if relationships are just hard and that’s the way they are meant to be?

What if our brains are wired to fight and argue?

Conflict is going to happen in a relationship, but “human relationships can survive fights. Human relationships cannot survive the loss of safety and security.”

This talk breaks down the basics of why we fight and why we argue, and how we can reduce how much we fight.

Our major job is to protect each other and make each other feel safe & secure.”

15 – Monogamish: The New Rules Of Marriage – Jessica O’Reilly

Is marriage destined to fail?

With a 50/50 chance of ‘survival’ are they the kind of odds you want to take?

Perhaps our current form of marriage has design flaws and needs to be reassessed and challenged.

Could monogamish be the answer to a happy marriage, where there’s thought, but not action, talk but not touch?

I’ve read studies before that support this theory, and this is a great talk that explains it.

The thing I love the most about all of these talks is that there isn’t one that says ‘this is the way you need to have a relationship and it’s the only way and any other way won’t be good enough’.

They all understand that relationships and love are different for everyone.

I’ve watched hours and hours of TED Talks about marriage, love, relationships, happiness and self confidence and one of the most common things I see in each of them is the ability to talk with your partner, and your ability to have fun with your partner.

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Motherhood can leave you feeling lonely, vulnerable, and out of your depth. These TED Talks will help you realise you're not alone and challenge the way we think about motherhood and mothers.

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This is one helluva list of TED Talks. They made me laugh, cry, be excited and most importantly, they made me feel like I wasn’t alone and that I was seen. Motherhood is an incredible transition, it has unrealistic expectations put on it, the challenges often aren’t talked about, and we are expected to just…

Journaling for couples and journaling together as a couple, can be an especially powerful tool for communication and connection. Here is how to start a couples journal and prompts you can use.

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The benefits of journaling are well-documented. Not only can it help reduce stress and anxiety, but it can also promote self-awareness and self-reflection. Likewise, journaling for couples and journaling together as a couple, can be an especially powerful tool for communication and connection. We all know how important communication is in a relationship, and sometimes…

We all love a good TED Talk to get us thinking and these TED Talks about mental health certainly do just that. Take some time to watch and learn about mental health, the stigmas, and what role mental health plays in your life.

9 Of The Best TED Talks About Mental Health

TED Talks are great – they’re inspirational, moving, and memorable. You can find TED Talks on almost any subject, including mental health. Hearing a person talk about their own mental health struggles can leave more of an impact than simply reading about them in a blog post. These speakers leave their audiences feeling more hopeful…

Getting a divorce can be one of the most transformational times of your life, in both good and bad ways. These are some of the important lessons I learned from my divorce and why I am so grateful for them.

3 Important Lessons I Learned From My Divorce

I knew I wanted to get a divorce before I even got married. How crazy is that? I look back now and wonder what on earth I was doing but at the time I was so young, and I felt so stuck, and I figured I’d just wait it out and get divorced later. I…

Have that feeling you need to declutter but not sure how and really couldn't be bothered? Yeah, I get it, that's why I have the Lazy Guide to Decluttering, because I understand the zero motivation and I also know that there are huge benefits to decluttering! Here's how.

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Ever since Marie Kondo convinced us we need to ‘KonMari’ our lives, we have seen every decluttering hack known to man parading across our Facebook feed and Pinterest profiles. It seems pretty simple, throw out what you don’t use, keep what makes you happy. But if you’re anything like me you’ve probably looked at that…

Hi Krystal, I enjoyed going through your site and I am just wondering why you are not a parenting coach or teacher! I found that a lot of your articles fall into the education category. would love to hear more! My site http://www.amomandajob.com is somewhat similar. let me know!

I love this article! Have you checked out Michelle Weiner-Davis’s talk on the Sex Starved Marriage. It’s really interesting!

I haven’t seen that one yet! I’ll have to check it out. Thank you!

Comments are closed.

There Are Five Stages Of A Relationship—Here's How To Navigate All Of Them, According To Therapists

Some stages might be bumpier than others.

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Like many reality television shows, Love Island may not present dating in the most, well, realistic way—however, it’s more accurate than you might think. That’s because of the way it portrays the many stages of a relationship: you actually see couples progress through every stage in real time, albeit in an extremely expedited way. In real life, these stages take longer and look a bit different.

While each relationship moves at its own pace, all of them inevitably change over time, encountering five clear stages: honeymoon, uncertainty, adjustment, commitment, and acceptance. And similarly to the stages of grief, some stages can repeat or be non-linear, while other stages are progressive.

“Relationships evolve because people evolve,” says Shawntres Parks, PhD, licensed marriage and family therapist and Women's Health advisory board member. As you grow and learn in life, your worldview is constantly expanding, and your relationships will change with you. So, if you’re “engaging in self-development and becoming more self-aware, more introspective, more insightful, chances are your relationship is going to grow in a more positive way,” she adds.

Meet the Experts: Shawntres Parks , PhD, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and Women's Health advisory board member. Betsy Chung , PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and relationship expert in Newport Beach, California.

Ahead, learn about the five main stages that your 'ship will go through, roughly how long they might last, and how to navigate each one.

The Timeline Of Relationship Stages

The Honeymoon Stage: up to six months after the relationship begins

The Uncertainty Stage: six months to two years

The Adjustment Stage: after two years

The Commitment Stage: after two or more years

The Acceptance Stage: after five or more years

The Honeymoon Stage ( Up To Six Months After The Relationship Begins)

This stage comes at the very beginning—both you and your S.O. constantly have *that* twinkle in your eye when looking at the other, and everything’s coming up roses. Even though you’re still getting to know each other, you both might feel as if you’ve found the “right” one, says Betsy Chung, PsyD, licensed clinical psychologist and relationship expert in Newport Beach, California. “Both [people] are on best behaviors, and understand each other on a very surface level, though it may feel as though they know each other deeply,” she adds.

You’ll know you’re in this stage if you feel euphoria just by thinking of them, and you…ignore some red flags . “There's this symbiosis where everything that the person you're attracted to likes, you like their views and perspectives you tend to align with,” says Parks. “Everything that you're seeing is from the idealized perspective.”

How To Navigate This Stage

Stay on guard. In the honeymoon stage, it'll be so easy to see the green flags that the sometimes red—or orange, or yellow—flags tend to get overlooked. Stay grounded, as "you're setting the stage for the entire relationship" during the honeymoon era, Parks says. (No pressure, though!) It's imperative to "identify any behavior that feels questionable or feels inappropriate and build [useful] skills in that honeymoon stage when it's easier to have conversations," Parks says. For example, if you've confirmed with your partner that you're in a monogamous relationship and then you find out that they're sending flirty texts to other people, that might be a red flag and signify that you're not on the same page in the relationship. Chung also recommends investing in relationships outside of your new one, like with friends and family, who you know will be honest with you about whether this relationship seems like a healthy fit.
Practice consistency. When you make plans with and promises to your partner, follow through. "When you give your word on anything, you're basically giving your significant other the chance to better understand and get accustomed to who you are and what they should expect from you in the relationship," Parks says. If you're inconsistent in this stage, future stages will be harder when real conflicts come, because it'll be harder for your partner to believe that you have the best intentions. But if you're consistent, you're building trust and security that will bolster the 'ship later on, Parks adds.
Enjoy it. "This is the easiest stage of the relationship because there's not going to be much conflict or friction," Parks says. Now is the time to connect and build security and a strong foundation, as well as positive memories and experiences with your partner. So, instead of overthinking when your S.O. took an hour to reply to your text, just trust the process and enjoy every little step of this stage.

The Uncertainty Stage ( Six Months Up To Two Years)

Those rose-colored glasses? Consider them off, for the time being. In this stage, you might start to recognize little things about your person that annoy you—suddenly, they don’t seem so perfect anymore. During this stage, “partners begin to uncover flaws about the other person that causes them to question the relationship,” Chung says. You might even reconsider whether they are the “right” one for you.

Still, “as conflict is starting to emerge, it feels very mild,” Parks adds. You aren't “starting to talk about the more serious issues that tend to be really necessary to work through for the success of a long-term relationship,” she says.

Don't overthink. During this stage, you might confide in your friends, feel disappointed that your feelings aren’t as intense as before, or even engage in sabotaging behaviors such as starting arguments, Chung adds. If you find yourself fixating on their flaws or behaviors, remember that your S.O. is just a human, and they have both positive and negative traits. Ask yourself how they make you feel, "rather than hyper-focusing on their external flaws," Chung says. On the flip side, if you notice your partner is starting to have reservations, don’t jump to the assumption that they want to break up—they're likely experiencing the thoughts you're having.
Work on communication. Now that you're out of the honeymoon stage and more grounded in reality, you can strengthen your communication skills, Parks says. So, if your birthday is coming up and you want your partner to get a dinner reservation, tell them in advance so they can let you know whether they have the capacity to plan it.
Do some goal-setting together. Set goals for the relationship and make sure you're on the same page. What are your plans for the future—are you aligned on staying together long-term? You can start this conversation by identifying how positive things have been in the relationship up to that point, and any strengths you have as a couple. This will make a great segue into talking about the future, because you've already identified why you're such a great fit. "It's meaningful to engage in these conversations at this time" because you've been together long enough where it's worth to talk about the future, Parks says.
Keep tabs on your mood when you're around them. You're bound to become annoyed with your S.O. from time to time, especially during this stage. But you'll want to pay attention to "the frequency and the intensity of that annoyance," Parks says. This is "the biggest indicator of whether or not [the annoyance] is something that can be worked past, versus something that indicates that the compatibility is just not there." If you're waking up on a daily basis feeling annoyed with them, despite communicating your needs, wants, and expectations, then you might be incompatible. But if the frequency of your annoyance is intermittent, that's a normal emotion that usually occurs even in the healthiest and most compatible 'ships, she adds.

The Adjustment Stage (After Two Years)

If you’re able to get through that initial uncertainty phase, you’ll get to the adjustment stage. Here, you'll be faced with conflicts that are deeper-seated and and harder to navigate—possibly having to do with cultural differences (such as your family culture or ethnic culture), or religious beliefs and morals, Parks says. “You're having to negotiate whatever those challenges are in order to see whether or not this relationship is viable to transition into a long-term partnership,” she adds.

Try to handle conflicts and fights together. “Couples at this stage do have a desire to make the relationship work, but continue to remain uncertain of long-term potential,” Chung says. How open you both are to working through difficulties might depend on how long you’ve been together or how attached to you are to one another.
Listen to understand instead of listening to respond. Sometimes in relationships, people are used to reacting through their emotions rather than taking time to understand the context of their partner’s point of view, Parks says. To resolve conflicts, try to “listen to gain a sense of understanding about where your partner is coming from, why they have the belief or the position that they have, and how the two of you together can navigate this difference,” she adds.
Be wary of any relationship habits or patterns forming. This is especially key when it comes to unhealthy ones, like your partner giving you the silent treatment after a fight. A key to getting through this stage is practicing healthy communication and learning to compromise, Chung explains.

The Commitment Stage (After Two Or More Years)

This stage is called the commitment stage for a reason—here, you’ll start to accept each other’s flaws, finding that they “outweigh the difficulties,” Chung says. (Woohoo!) You’ll get more comfortable with each other, in addition to the idea of staying together long-term. "Even though there is naturally going to be struggle and conflict feels more high stakes, there's also a lot of beauty in the safety and security that folks feel when they are feeling more stable in their relationship," Parks adds.

Fine-tune your relationship skills. Keep honing in on your communication skills to make sure your wants and needs are being responded to appropriately by your partner, and vice versa. This will tell you whether you're moving in a positive direction overall in the relationship, Parks says. Also, continue staying objective by remembering why you’re in the relationship—it can be easy to stay together just because you’re comfortable with your routine or feel guilty ending it. In the commitment stage, "objectivity means that we don't lose sight of [goals] just because we have a level of security or stability," she adds.
Nurture sexual intimacy. "Many couples find that intimacy is reduced in the commitment stage, because the more security and stability couples feel oftentimes translates to less sex," Parks adds. She recommends nurturing that intimacy at every stage of the relationship: “Excitement and passion is the responsibility of everyone in the relationship, and it is a thing that requires continued work." So, make sex a priority, whether it's planning a sexy weekend getaway or communicating a new fantasy to try. The goal here is just not to "lose novelty"—when your relationship is stable, you have to continue trying new things, she says.

The Acceptance Stage (After Five Or More Years)

Getting through obstacles together gives you some safety and security and brings you closer than ever—to the final stage of acceptance. “This is the optimal stage for couples,” Chung says. “Couples experience a level of closeness that's irreplaceable and reassuring of relationship security.” You’ll be grateful for the relationship in this stage, and appreciate your partner as a reliable source of support as you also focus on your own personal goals, like travel, job changes, or relocation.

They might become the first person you call if you’re in a state of emotional distress, if they aren’t already. “We hear couples talking about, ‘My partner is my best friend,’ because typically they've gone through the honeymoon stage, they've gone through early attachment and crisis, and they've come through it,” Parks says. “They truly have a felt sense that they really know and understand each other."

This relationship phase can feel painful, though. After all, “the more connected you are to a person, the scarier it is to lose the relationship,” Chung says. So, she recommends you continue to invest in the other relationships in your life so you aren’t dependent on your S.O.—no matter what stage you're at.

Continue leveling up. While you may have theoretically "completed" all of the relationship stages, you can make the last one exceptional by continuing to try new things and reach new levels with your partner. "Establish different goals that allow you to build on the strengths that you've clearly seen in the prior stages of the relationship," Parks says. For instance, you can work on increasing your communication by setting up monthly meetings (think: a State of the Union, but a State of Your Relationship instead), says Parks. During these meetings, you can chat about logistics and larger plans for your goals for the year and beyond, which brings me to...
Set benchmarks for your bigger goals. These goals can be external (like buying a house) or internal (like bettering your communication). If your goal is to buy a house with your partner by the end of the year, you'll want to set up meetings on a monthly or even weekly basis where you can review the benchmarks to see where you're at in terms of saving money, Parks says. During these meetings, also consider your current strengths and areas that may have room for improvement. Doing so will help you and your partner feel more productive and increase satisfaction, she adds.

“Couples that are most successful are open to change, and willing to navigate ups and downs of relationships together,” says Chung. After all, change is both natural and inevitable in a relationship—it's how you handle it that matters.

Addison Aloian is the assistant love & life editor at Women’s Health and a NASM-certified personal trainer (CPT). She covers all things lifestyle, astrology, relationships, and fitness. In her free time, you can find her lifting weights at the gym, running on the West Side Highway in New York City, and watching (and critiquing!) the latest movies that have garnered Oscars buzz. In addition to Women's Health , her work has also appeared in Allure , StyleCaster , L'Officiel USA , V Magazine , VMAN , and more.

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Happy couples: How to keep your relationship healthy

There are steps you can take to keep your relationship healthy and in good working order.

Parenting, Families, Relationships
Marriage and Relationships

Romantic relationships are important for our happiness and well-being but can also take work to maintain. There are steps you can take to keep your relationship healthy and in good working order.

Talking openly

Communication is a key piece of a healthy relationship. Healthy couples make time to check in with one another on a regular basis. It's important to talk about more than just parenting and maintaining the household. Try to spend a few minutes each day discussing deeper or more personal subjects to stay connected to your partner over the long term.

That doesn't mean you should avoid bringing up difficult subjects. Keeping concerns or problems to yourself can breed resentment. When discussing tough topics, though, it pays to be kind. Research shows that the way you communicate with your partner is important and the negative communication patters can have a negative effect on the relationship.

Disagreements are part of any partnership, but some fighting styles are particularly damaging. Couples that use destructive behavior during arguments — such as yelling, resorting to personal criticisms or withdrawing from the discussion — are more likely to break up than are couples that fight constructively. Using constructive strategies like listening to your partner’s point of view and understanding their feelings is a healthier away to deal with disagreements.

Keeping it interesting

Between kids, careers and outside commitments, it can be difficult to stay connected to your partner or be intimate.

To keep things interesting, some couples plan regular date nights. Even dates can get old, though, if you're always renting a movie or going to the same restaurant. Experts recommend breaking out of the routine and trying new things — whether that's going dancing, taking a class together or packing an afternoon picnic.

When should couples seek help?

Every relationship has ups and downs, but some factors are more likely than others to create bumps in a relationship. Finances and parenting decisions often create recurring conflicts, for example. One sign of a problem is having repeated versions of the same fight over and over. In such cases, psychologists can help couples improve communication and find healthy ways to move beyond the conflict.

You don't have to wait until a relationship shows signs of trouble before working to strengthen your union. Marital education programs that teach skills such as good communication, effective listening and dealing with conflict have been shown to reduce the risk of divorce.

Additional resources

Can this marriage be saved?

Making stepfamilies work

Answers to your questions about same-sex marriage

Thanks to psychologists Robin S. Haight, PsyD, and Dan Abrahamson, PhD, who assisted with this article.

Effective Persuasion Strategies in Romantic Relationships

The best tactics people use to change the minds of their lovers and partners..

Posted December 31, 2017

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Over the years, I have shared a number of persuasion strategies for use in intimate and romantic relationships . For example, I have written about the influential effects of touch on a date or mate. Previous articles have also explored the persuasive effects of making small requests before asking for a date .

Additional articles have evaluated which types of persuasion and influence strategies work best for specific relationship goals as well. For example, I reviewed various tactics people use to initially attract a mate and techniques they use to initiate romantic relationships . In addition, I reviewed strategies people use to prevent infidelity and adultery too.

In looking back over that work, I started to wonder how people influenced and persuaded their romantic partners on a more day-to-day level as well. So, I started to research the matter and find out what strategies they use (and which are effective). Here is what I found…

Strategies of Influence in Close Relationships

I found a study by Orina, Wood, and Simpson (2002), evaluating that very topic. The researchers video recorded and evaluated discussions between 123 heterosexual couples about a disagreement they were facing in their relationship together. These evaluations measured which partner was more intent on changing the other, what strategies each partner used to persuade the other, and how much each partner’s opinion was ultimately swayed in the discussion. Specifically, the researchers evaluated strategies in three broad categories:

Coercion Tactics: Belittling and making fun of a partner who disagreed and displaying negative emotional reactions to get a partner to conform to their wishes.
Relationship Referencing Tactics: Emphasizing the importance of the relationship, stressing shared relationship outcomes, appealing to a partner’s love/concern, and using inclusive terms (e.g. we, us, our) to persuade a partner’s agreement.
Logic and Reasoning Tactics: Using logic and factual information to attempt to change the partner’s mind.

Results of the evaluations showed some gender differences in persuasion tactics. To start, women were more likely to be interested in influencing a change in their partner (68%) than men (32%). Women also used significantly more coercive tactics than men. Nevertheless, both women and men used relationship referencing tactics at about equal rates. In contrast though, men were significantly more likely to use logic and reasoning tactics. Men were also significantly more likely to move toward agreement with the opinion of their female partners.

Further evaluations also showed reciprocity and correlations between the tactics chosen by partners. Specifically, when women chose more coercive tactics, their male partners were also more likely to reply with coercive tactics too. Similarly, when women referenced the relationship, men were also more likely to reply with relationship referencing tactics as well.

Finally, the results of the evaluations also showed that some tactics were more persuasive than others. Specifically:

Relationship referencing tactics were the most persuasive for both men and women. This was particularly true for partners who felt they had a close romantic relationship.
Appeals to logic and reason, however, were either not effective or sometimes counter-productive.
Coercive tactics had the worst effects, actually driving partners toward greater disagreement when used.

Persuading Your Partner

Given the above results, there appears to indeed be better (and worse) strategies for influencing your partner on day-to-day matters and disagreements. Specifically, Referencing the Relationship appears to work very well to bring a date or mate around to your way of thinking (especially if the relationship is significant to them). As indicated above, this can be accomplished by stressing shared relationship outcomes (e.g. “This is the best choice for our relationship” ) and using inclusive words when describing those outcomes (e.g. “We”, “Us”, “Our” ). Overall, this helps to create a perception of you both being similar , together as a couple, and in greater agreement with each other.

During those efforts, it can also be persuasive to prompt loving thoughts in general , or to take a moment together to be mindful of how special or sacred your relationship is for you both . Building rapport and good conversation skills can help here too. The influential effects of touch on a date or mate might be of benefit here as well.

In contrast, appealing to Logic and Reason alone doesn’t seem to work in these situations. This is largely because romantic relationships are both emotional and logical . Therefore, while it may be beneficial to sometimes directly ask for what you want , or openly discuss what each of you need in the relationship , those strategies are most effective when coupled with some of the more emotional and relational tactics above.

Finally, it is important to note that Coercive tactics can create more resentment and disagreement . In fact, as I have discussed elsewhere, being coercive and punishing toward a partner can backfire . Therefore, if your goal is to get your partner to agree with you, then you are better off using some of the other approaches described above. Beyond that, taking the opposite approach and creating a rewarding relationship can be quite persuasive too .

Make sure you get the next article: Click here to sign up to my Facebook page . Remember to share, like, tweet, and comment below too.

Orina, M. M., Wood, W., & Simpson, J. A. (2002). Strategies of influence in close relationships. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 38 , 459-472.

Jeremy Nicholson, M.S.W., Ph.D. , is a doctor of social and personality psychology, with a focus on influence, persuasion, and dating.

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7.1 Foundations of Relationships

Learning objectives.

Distinguish between personal and social relationships.
Describe stages of relational interaction.
Discuss social exchange theory.

We can begin to classify key relationships we have by distinguishing between our personal and our social relationships (VanLear, Koerner, & Allen, 2006). Personal relationships meet emotional, relational, and instrumental needs, as they are intimate, close, and interdependent relationships such as those we have with best friends, partners, or immediate family. Social relationships are relationships that occasionally meet our needs and lack the closeness and interdependence of personal relationships. Examples of social relationships include coworkers, distant relatives, and acquaintances. Another distinction useful for categorizing relationships is whether or not they are voluntary. For example, some personal relationships are voluntary, like those with romantic partners, and some are involuntary, like those with close siblings. Likewise, some social relationships are voluntary, like those with acquaintances, and some are involuntary, like those with neighbors or distant relatives. You can see how various relationships fall into each of these dimensions in Figure 7.1 “Types of Relationships” . Now that we have a better understanding of how we define relationships, we’ll examine the stages that most of our relationships go through as they move from formation to termination.

Figure 7.1 Types of Relationships

Source: Adapted from C. Arthur VanLear, Ascan Koerner, and Donna M. Allen, “Relationship Typologies,” in The Cambridge Handbook of Personal Relationships , eds. Anita L. Vangelisti and Daniel Perlman (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2006), 95.

Stages of Relational Interaction

Communication is at the heart of forming our interpersonal relationships. We reach the achievement of relating through the everyday conversations and otherwise trivial interactions that form the fabric of our relationships. It is through our communication that we adapt to the dynamic nature of our relational worlds, given that relational partners do not enter each encounter or relationship with compatible expectations. Communication allows us to test and be tested by our potential and current relational partners. It is also through communication that we respond when someone violates or fails to meet those expectations (Knapp & Vangelisti, 2009).

There are ten established stages of interaction that can help us understand how relationships come together and come apart (Knapp & Vangelisti, 2009). We will discuss each stage in more detail, but in Table 7.1 “Relationship Stages” you will find a list of the communication stages. We should keep the following things in mind about this model of relationship development: relational partners do not always go through the stages sequentially, some relationships do not experience all the stages, we do not always consciously move between stages, and coming together and coming apart are not inherently good or bad. As we have already discussed, relationships are always changing—they are dynamic. Although this model has been applied most often to romantic relationships, most relationships follow a similar pattern that may be adapted to a particular context.

Table 7.1 Relationship Stages

Process	Stage	Representative Communication
Coming Together	Initiating	“My name’s Rich. It’s nice to meet you.”
	Experimenting	“I like to cook and refinish furniture in my spare time. What about you?”
	Intensifying	“I feel like we’ve gotten a lot closer over the past couple months.”
	Integrating	(To friend) “We just opened a joint bank account.”
	Bonding	“I can’t wait to tell my parents that we decided to get married!”
Coming Apart	Differentiating	“I’d really like to be able to hang out with my friends sometimes.”
	Circumscribing	“Don’t worry about problems I’m having at work. I can deal with it.”
	Stagnating	(To self) “I don’t know why I even asked him to go out to dinner. He never wants to go out and have a good time.”
	Avoiding	“I have a lot going on right now, so I probably won’t be home as much.”
	Terminating	“It’s important for us both to have some time apart. I know you’ll be fine.”

Source: Adapted from Mark L. Knapp and Anita L. Vangelisti, Interpersonal Communication and Human Relationships (Boston, MA: Pearson, 2009), 34.

In the initiating stage , people size each other up and try to present themselves favorably. Whether you run into someone in the hallway at school or in the produce section at the grocery store, you scan the person and consider any previous knowledge you have of them, expectations for the situation, and so on. Initiating is influenced by several factors.

If you encounter a stranger, you may say, “Hi, my name’s Rich.” If you encounter a person you already know, you’ve already gone through this before, so you may just say, “What’s up?” Time constraints also affect initiation. A quick passing calls for a quick hello, while a scheduled meeting may entail a more formal start. If you already know the person, the length of time that’s passed since your last encounter will affect your initiation. For example, if you see a friend from high school while home for winter break, you may set aside a long block of time to catch up; however, if you see someone at work that you just spoke to ten minutes earlier, you may skip initiating communication. The setting also affects how we initiate conversations, as we communicate differently at a crowded bar than we do on an airplane. Even with all this variation, people typically follow typical social scripts for interaction at this stage.

Experimenting

The scholars who developed these relational stages have likened the experimenting stage , where people exchange information and often move from strangers to acquaintances, to the “sniffing ritual” of animals (Knapp & Vangelisti, 2009). A basic exchange of information is typical as the experimenting stage begins. For example, on the first day of class, you may chat with the person sitting beside you and take turns sharing your year in school, hometown, residence hall, and major. Then you may branch out and see if there are any common interests that emerge. Finding out you’re both St. Louis Cardinals fans could then lead to more conversation about baseball and other hobbies or interests; however, sometimes the experiment may fail. If your attempts at information exchange with another person during the experimenting stage are met with silence or hesitation, you may interpret their lack of communication as a sign that you shouldn’t pursue future interaction.

Experimenting continues in established relationships. Small talk, a hallmark of the experimenting stage, is common among young adults catching up with their parents when they return home for a visit or committed couples when they recount their day while preparing dinner. Small talk can be annoying sometimes, especially if you feel like you have to do it out of politeness. I have found, for example, that strangers sometimes feel the need to talk to me at the gym (even when I have ear buds in). Although I’d rather skip the small talk and just work out, I follow social norms of cheerfulness and politeness and engage in small talk. Small talk serves important functions, such as creating a communicative entry point that can lead people to uncover topics of conversation that go beyond the surface level, helping us audition someone to see if we’d like to talk to them further, and generally creating a sense of ease and community with others. And even though small talk isn’t viewed as very substantive, the authors of this model of relationships indicate that most of our relationships do not progress far beyond this point (Knapp & Vangelisti, 2009).

Intensifying

As we enter the intensifying stage , we indicate that we would like or are open to more intimacy, and then we wait for a signal of acceptance before we attempt more intimacy. This incremental intensification of intimacy can occur over a period of weeks, months, or years and may involve inviting a new friend to join you at a party, then to your place for dinner, then to go on vacation with you. It would be seen as odd, even if the experimenting stage went well, to invite a person who you’re still getting to know on vacation with you without engaging in some less intimate interaction beforehand. In order to save face and avoid making ourselves overly vulnerable, steady progression is key in this stage. Aside from sharing more intense personal time, requests for and granting favors may also play into intensification of a relationship. For example, one friend helping the other prepare for a big party on their birthday can increase closeness. However, if one person asks for too many favors or fails to reciprocate favors granted, then the relationship can become unbalanced, which could result in a transition to another stage, such as differentiating.

Other signs of the intensifying stage include creation of nicknames, inside jokes, and personal idioms; increased use of we and our ; increased communication about each other’s identities (e.g., “My friends all think you are really laid back and easy to get along with”); and a loosening of typical restrictions on possessions and personal space (e.g., you have a key to your best friend’s apartment and can hang out there if your roommate is getting on your nerves). Navigating the changing boundaries between individuals in this stage can be tricky, which can lead to conflict or uncertainty about the relationship’s future as new expectations for relationships develop. Successfully managing this increasing closeness can lead to relational integration.

Integrating

In the integrating stage , two people’s identities and personalities merge, and a sense of interdependence develops. Even though this stage is most evident in romantic relationships, there are elements that appear in other relationship forms. Some verbal and nonverbal signals of the integrating stage are when the social networks of two people merge; those outside the relationship begin to refer to or treat the relational partners as if they were one person (e.g., always referring to them together—“Let’s invite Olaf and Bettina”); or the relational partners present themselves as one unit (e.g., both signing and sending one holiday card or opening a joint bank account). Even as two people integrate, they likely maintain some sense of self by spending time with friends and family separately, which helps balance their needs for independence and connection.

The bonding stage includes a public ritual that announces formal commitment. These types of rituals include weddings, commitment ceremonies, and civil unions. Obviously, this stage is almost exclusively applicable to romantic couples. In some ways, the bonding ritual is arbitrary, in that it can occur at any stage in a relationship. In fact, bonding rituals are often later annulled or reversed because a relationship doesn’t work out, perhaps because there wasn’t sufficient time spent in the experimenting or integrating phases. However, bonding warrants its own stage because the symbolic act of bonding can have very real effects on how two people communicate about and perceive their relationship. For example, the formality of the bond may lead the couple and those in their social network to more diligently maintain the relationship if conflict or stress threatens it.

The bonding stage eventually leads to the terminating stage for many relationships, as about 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce (Perman, 2011).

Pixabay – public domain.

Differentiating

Individual differences can present a challenge at any given stage in the relational interaction model; however, in the differentiating stage , communicating these differences becomes a primary focus. Differentiating is the reverse of integrating, as we and our reverts back to I and my . People may try to reboundary some of their life prior to the integrating of the current relationship, including other relationships or possessions. For example, Carrie may reclaim friends who became “shared” as she got closer to her roommate Julie and their social networks merged by saying, “I’m having my friends over to the apartment and would like to have privacy for the evening.” Differentiating may onset in a relationship that bonded before the individuals knew each other in enough depth and breadth. Even in relationships where the bonding stage is less likely to be experienced, such as a friendship, unpleasant discoveries about the other person’s past, personality, or values during the integrating or experimenting stage could lead a person to begin differentiating.

Circumscribing

To circumscribe means to draw a line around something or put a boundary around it (Oxford English Dictionary Online, 2011). So in the circumscribing stage , communication decreases and certain areas or subjects become restricted as individuals verbally close themselves off from each other. They may say things like “I don’t want to talk about that anymore” or “You mind your business and I’ll mind mine.” If one person was more interested in differentiating in the previous stage, or the desire to end the relationship is one-sided, verbal expressions of commitment may go unechoed—for example, when one person’s statement, “I know we’ve had some problems lately, but I still like being with you,” is met with silence. Passive-aggressive behavior and the demand-withdrawal conflict pattern, which we discussed in Chapter 6 “Interpersonal Communication Processes” , may occur more frequently in this stage. Once the increase in boundaries and decrease in communication becomes a pattern, the relationship further deteriorates toward stagnation.

During the stagnating stage , the relationship may come to a standstill, as individuals basically wait for the relationship to end. Outward communication may be avoided, but internal communication may be frequent. The relational conflict flaw of mindreading takes place as a person’s internal thoughts lead them to avoid communication. For example, a person may think, “There’s no need to bring this up again, because I know exactly how he’ll react!” This stage can be prolonged in some relationships. Parents and children who are estranged, couples who are separated and awaiting a divorce, or friends who want to end a relationship but don’t know how to do it may have extended periods of stagnation. Short periods of stagnation may occur right after a failed exchange in the experimental stage, where you may be in a situation that’s not easy to get out of, but the person is still there. Although most people don’t like to linger in this unpleasant stage, some may do so to avoid potential pain from termination, some may still hope to rekindle the spark that started the relationship, or some may enjoy leading their relational partner on.

Moving to the avoiding stage may be a way to end the awkwardness that comes with stagnation, as people signal that they want to close down the lines of communication. Communication in the avoiding stage can be very direct—“I don’t want to talk to you anymore”—or more indirect—“I have to meet someone in a little while, so I can’t talk long.” While physical avoidance such as leaving a room or requesting a schedule change at work may help clearly communicate the desire to terminate the relationship, we don’t always have that option. In a parent-child relationship, where the child is still dependent on the parent, or in a roommate situation, where a lease agreement prevents leaving, people may engage in cognitive dissociation, which means they mentally shut down and ignore the other person even though they are still physically copresent.

Terminating

The terminating stage of a relationship can occur shortly after initiation or after a ten- or twenty-year relational history has been established. Termination can result from outside circumstances such as geographic separation or internal factors such as changing values or personalities that lead to a weakening of the bond. Termination exchanges involve some typical communicative elements and may begin with a summary message that recaps the relationship and provides a reason for the termination (e.g., “We’ve had some ups and downs over our three years together, but I’m getting ready to go to college, and I either want to be with someone who is willing to support me, or I want to be free to explore who I am.”). The summary message may be followed by a distance message that further communicates the relational drift that has occurred (e.g., “We’ve really grown apart over the past year”), which may be followed by a disassociation message that prepares people to be apart by projecting what happens after the relationship ends (e.g., “I know you’ll do fine without me. You can use this time to explore your options and figure out if you want to go to college too or not.”). Finally, there is often a message regarding the possibility for future communication in the relationship (e.g., “I think it would be best if we don’t see each other for the first few months, but text me if you want to.”) (Knapp & Vangelisti, 2009). These ten stages of relational development provide insight into the complicated processes that affect relational formation and deterioration. We also make decisions about our relationships by weighing costs and rewards.

Social Exchange Theory

Social exchange theory essentially entails a weighing of the costs and rewards in a given relationship (Harvey & Wenzel, 2006). Rewards are outcomes that we get from a relationship that benefit us in some way, while costs range from granting favors to providing emotional support. When we do not receive the outcomes or rewards that we think we deserve, then we may negatively evaluate the relationship, or at least a given exchange or moment in the relationship, and view ourselves as being underbenefited. In an equitable relationship, costs and rewards are balanced, which usually leads to a positive evaluation of the relationship and satisfaction.

Commitment and interdependence are important interpersonal and psychological dimensions of a relationship that relate to social exchange theory. Interdependence refers to the relationship between a person’s well-being and involvement in a particular relationship. A person will feel interdependence in a relationship when (1) satisfaction is high or the relationship meets important needs; (2) the alternatives are not good, meaning the person’s needs couldn’t be met without the relationship; or (3) investment in the relationship is high, meaning that resources might decrease or be lost without the relationship (Harvey & Wenzel, 2006).

We can be cautioned, though, to not view social exchange theory as a tit-for-tat accounting of costs and rewards (Noller, 2006). We wouldn’t be very good relational partners if we carried around a little notepad, notating each favor or good deed we completed so we can expect its repayment. As noted earlier, we all become aware of the balance of costs and rewards at some point in our relationships, but that awareness isn’t persistent. We also have communal relationships, in which members engage in a relationship for mutual benefit and do not expect returns on investments such as favors or good deeds (Harvey & Wenzel, 2006). As the dynamics in a relationship change, we may engage communally without even being aware of it, just by simply enjoying the relationship. It has been suggested that we become more aware of the costs and rewards balance when a relationship is going through conflict (Noller, 2006). Overall, relationships are more likely to succeed when there is satisfaction and commitment, meaning that we are pleased in a relationship intrinsically or by the rewards we receive.

Key Takeaways

Relationships can be easily distinguished into personal or social and voluntary or involuntary.

Personal relationships are close, intimate, and interdependent, meeting many of our interpersonal needs.
Social relationships meet some interpersonal needs but lack the closeness of personal relationships.
There are stages of relational interaction in which relationships come together (initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, and bonding) and come apart (differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding, and terminating).
The weighing of costs and rewards in a relationship affects commitment and overall relational satisfaction.
Review the types of relationships in Figure 7.1 “Types of Relationships” . Name at least one person from your relationships that fits into each quadrant. How does your communication differ between each of these people?
Pick a relationship important to you and determine what stage of relational interaction you are currently in with that person. What communicative signals support your determination? What other stages from the ten listed have you experienced with this person?
How do you weigh the costs and rewards in your relationships? What are some rewards you are currently receiving from your closest relationships? What are some costs?

Harvey, J. H. and Amy Wenzel, “Theoretical Perspectives in the Study of Close Relationships,” in The Cambridge Handbook of Personal Relationships , eds. Anita L. Vangelisti and Daniel Perlman (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2006), 38–39.

Knapp, M. L. and Anita L. Vangelisti, Interpersonal Communication and Human Relationships (Boston, MA: Pearson, 2009), 32–51.

Noller, P., “Bringing It All Together: A Theoretical Approach,” in The Cambridge Handbook of Personal Relationships , eds. Anita L. Vangelisti and Daniel Perlman (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2006), 770.

Oxford English Dictionary Online, accessed September 13, 2011, http://www.oed.com .

Perman, C., “Bad Economy? A Good Time for a Steamy Affair,” USA Today , September 8, 2011, accessed September 13, 2011, http://www.usatoday.com/money/economy/story/2011-09-10/economy-affairs-divorce-marriage/50340948/1 .

VanLear, C. A., Ascan Koerner, and Donna M. Allen, “Relationship Typologies,” in The Cambridge Handbook of Personal Relationships , eds. Anita L. Vangelisti and Daniel Perlman (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2006), 95.

Communication in the Real World Copyright © 2016 by University of Minnesota is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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Relationships

85 Deep Conversation Starters for Couples

With this list, you'll never run out of things to talk about again.

Getty Images / shapecharge

In This Article

Whether you’ve been together for three months, three years, or three decades, all couples can benefit from enriching conversation. From discussing seemingly trivial topics (favorite movies, dream vacation spots ) to diving in on the most important ones (greatest ambitions, biggest fears), any conversation that helps you find out more about what your partner wants out of life is a worthwhile one. The more you chat, the more at ease you’ll feel with one another—which is crucial when it comes to opening up about sensitive subjects.

" Communication skills are just like any other skill," says relationship therapist Esther Boykin. "The more you practice, the better you are at it—particularly when it comes to conversations where you feel vulnerable."

Meet the Expert

Esther Boykin is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in the Washington D.C. metro area. She is also the author of The Date Deck , a book created to help couples understand how every date night is a chance to improve their relationship.

While plenty of research has been devoted to healthy communication strategies for couples, the content of your conversations is just as important. "When couples can focus on not just how to communicate, but what they communicate to each other, it can make those tougher conversations down the road, as you’re thinking about getting married, a lot easier," adds Boykin.

While it sounds like a lot of hard work, it doesn’t have to be! Read on for Boykin’s tips for making meaningful conversations feel less high-stakes, as well as a list of deep conversation starters for couples that are sure to encourage bonding at a level you’ve never experienced before.

How to Make Deep Conversation Less Intimidating

First things first: try to make it fun! From flashcard games to viral online guides, there are plenty of prompts available to inspire a deep conversation. "When you start with questions generated by someone else, it makes [the experience] feel like a game—and it reduces the likelihood that we begin to attach meaning to why our partner is asking a question," says Boykin.

It’s also more than fine to use pop culture as your jumping-off point. "Books, movies, and shows you’ve watched together are an easy, low-conflict way to have conversations about values," Boykin adds. "Instead of [issues] becoming hyper-personal, you’re talking about a fictional character and the choices you see them making." Discussing whether or not you agree with their decisions can be an indirect but just as truthful way of revealing what governs your own heart.

Ready to start a deep conversation with your partner? Read on for thought-provoking questions for couples to ask each other, helpfully sorted by category.

Deep Conversation Starters About Family

Who is the person in your family you’re the most honest with?
What is your most unique family tradition? What is your favorite family tradition?
How does your family express love and affection?
Do you wish to be a parent ? If so, why?
If you could change one thing about the way you were raised, what would it be and why?
Do you plan to take care of your parents in their old age?

Deep Conversation Starters About Childhood

What did you enjoy doing as a kid that is no longer part of your life?
What book had the most impact on you in childhood?
What food or drink most evokes a feeling of home for you?
What rules or practices did your household follow growing up that you would also implement in your own household? What rules or practices would you choose not to follow?
Should children help with household chores?
What class or teacher most impacted your life growing up?
In what ways are you most different from the person you were in high school?
Who was your favorite Disney or Pixar character growing up?

Deep Conversation Starters About Romance

What is your predominant love language ?
Tell me about your first heartbreak.
Do you believe in twin flames ?
When was the first time you said "I love you" to someone who isn’t a member of your family?
What does it mean to be good in bed?
What’s a very ordinary action that you find really attractive?
Describe the physical touch that best communicates "I love you."

Deep Conversation Starters About Your Current Relationship

What is your favorite memory of us?
What is something you want to ask me but are afraid to ask me?
Name three things we have in common.
If there was one thing you could change about our relationship, what would it be?

Deep Conversation Starters About the Past

What have been the highest and lowest points of your life?
If you could apologize to one person from your past, who would it be and why?
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life thus far?
What do you consider to be the biggest mistake you’ve ever made?
What have been the most serious injuries or health scares in your life?
Tell me about a time you felt completely out of your comfort zone.
What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken? Would you do it again?
Tell me about someone you no longer speak to who you wish you were still friends with.

Deep Conversation Starters About the Future

If you could ask a psychic one question about your future, what would you want to know?
What does your dream home look like?
Where do you see yourself, personally, in five years?
What is the single most important goal you want to achieve in the next ten years?
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Deep Conversation Starters About Money

Are you a spender or a saver?
Do you think couples should share financial accounts ?
Would you rather incur debt to have something you really wanted right now or you prefer to wait and save?
Name something that’s always worth splurging on.
Name something that's never worth splurging on.
What's your biggest financial regret?
Would you rather spend money to travel the world or have the house of your dreams?

Deep Conversation Starters About Personal Preferences

If you could plan one perfect day for yourself, what would it look like?
What’s your favorite thing to do by yourself?
What stresses you out the most when traveling?
What are your favorite forms of self-care?
Do you like to exercise? What’s your favorite form of exercise, if so?
What’s something that cheers you up when you’re sad?
How do you feel about drug use?
When do you feel the strongest?
In what circumstances, if any, is it okay to lie?
What movie have you seen the most times?
Tell me about the subject you’re most interested in that has the least in common with your daily life.
Would you ever get a tattoo?
What’s something that most people you know like, but you don’t?
If you were to frame and hang a quote on the wall you look at most, what would it say?

Deep Conversation Starters About Work and Career Aspirations

Would you rather be very famous or very wealthy?
What motivates you professionally?
If salary wasn't part of the equation, what job would you most want to do?
Where do you see yourself professionally in the next ten years?
Who do you most admire at your workplace?

Deep Conversation Starters About Charity and Philanthropy

If you had one million dollars to give to charity, what causes or organizations would you support?
Tell me about the most recent act of kindness you did for a stranger.
Have you ever donated to a random Kickstarter or online fundraiser for a person you did not know? Tell me about the most recent one.
Would you rather donate your time or money to a cause you were passionate about?

Philosophical Deep Conversation Starters

If you were given one year to live, what would change about how you spend your time?
What would you do if you were informed that you have a terminal illness? What would you do if you were informed that I have a terminal illness?
What’s more important: forgiveness or acceptance?
Do you believe in a higher power or something beyond the physical world?
Tell me about a recent article you've read that changed your mind about something.
If you had to give up one of your senses, which would it be and why?

Self-Reflective Deep Conversation Starters

What’s something you’re really good at?
What do you wish more people recognized you for?
What are you most grateful for in life?
What are you most selfish about?
What three words do you think others most commonly use to describe you?
What do you worry about the most?
What’s something you wish you were better at?
When is the last time you put a lot of effort into something outside of work or school?
Tell me about the person you admire most that is not a celebrity.
Who would play you in a movie about your life?

Navigating the 4 Stages of a Relationship

From euphoria to deep attachment

Nicolas Fuentes / 500px / Getty Images

The Euphoric Stage

Take the love quiz, the early attachment stage, the crisis stage, the deep attachment stage, final thoughts.

Falling in love is easy, but relationships can be hard—despite what Hollywood tries to sell us. Like anything else in life worth having, relationships take work. Some couples successfully weather the storms that inevitably arise, while others simply drift apart.

When it comes to coupling, there is no instruction manual. Remember that old playground mantra: First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes so and so and a baby carriage?

If only it were that simple. While some couples follow this traditional trajectory, many people do not. Fewer couples are getting married, some are having children before marriage, and some are choosing not to have children at all. Every relationship, like every individual, is unique.

Regardless of the path one chooses when it comes to romantic relationships—whether it’s down the aisle or across continents—the inherent stages of love and attachment essentially remain the same. A couple's ability to navigate these stages is often the key to their relationship satisfaction.

Neuroscientists and “experts in love" have outlined four stages of a relationship. They go from falling in love to living happily ever after (or, at least, for a while). Here are the stages they've found, along with ways to successfully navigate each one.

Stages of Relationships by Months

You can break these stages down based on when they typically occur. The stages of relationships by months are:

Stage 1: The euphoric stage - 6 months to 24 months (2 years)
Stage 2: The early attachment stage - 12 months (1 year) to 60 months (5 years)
Stage 3: The crisis stage - 60 months (5 years) to 84 months (7 years)
Stage 4: The deep attachment stage - 84 months (7 years) and beyond

The euphoric stage is sometimes known as the "honeymoon phase." What makes this stage so magical?

For the past several decades, Helen Fisher, PhD , neuroscientist and Senior Research Fellow at the Kinsey Institute, and Lucy Brown, PhD , Clinical Professor in Neurology at Einstein College of Medicine in New York, have been studying the brain activity of people in love, from the early to the later stages.

Brown explains, "In the early part of a relationship—the falling in love stage—the other person is the center of your life. You forgive everything in these early stages. The other person has faults, and you see them, but it doesn’t matter. Maybe they leave their dirty dishes in the sink, but they make you laugh at least daily, so it’s okay. Good things outweigh the negative here."

One of the most significant findings in the brain mapping studies (which was determined to be a key factor in relationship success) involves what Brown refers to as the suspension of negative judgment.

“In this early stage , many people show a decrease in activity in the prefrontal cortex, which is the part of the brain that has to do with the negative judgment of people.”

In other words, the longer a couple can maintain suspension of negative judgment toward each other, the better chances they have of relationship success.

When they followed up with participants, the researchers found that the couples who had stayed together for three years or more had the most decreased activity in this part of the brain.

Our fast and free love quiz can help you determine if what you've got is the real deal or simply a temporary fling or infatuation.

How Long Will It Last?

How long does the romantic phase last? Studies have estimated the euphoric stage can last anywhere from six months to two years. Although a small portion of the population (approximately 15% to 30%) say they are still in love and that it still feels like the first six months—even after 10 or 15 years later.

Brown explains, "We don't know why this is. I don't necessarily think it's because they have found their soulmates . I think it's the person. Some people have an easier time rekindling the earlier stages. Not to say the rest of us can't."

For the general population, the intoxication of new love will eventually morph into the next stage: early attachment.

In the previous stage of euphoric love, unconscious factors like attraction and the activation of the reward system take over. In Fisher and Brown’s studies, the brain scans of couples in the early stages of love showed high levels of dopamine, the chemical that activates the reward system by triggering an intense rush of pleasure.

The study's authors wrote that these high levels of dopamine have the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine.

In this next stage, the more evolved part of the brain begins to take over, including the ventral pallidum (the region of the brain linked with feelings of attachment, and the attachment hormones, vasopressin, and oxytocin—sometimes referred to as “the love hormone”).

You know when you’ve reached the early attachment stage when, according to Brown, “You can sleep! You’re not thinking about [your partner] 24 hours a day. It’s easier to do other things in your life.”

Couples that had been married for at least one year described love differently. “It’s richer, deeper, it’s knowing them better," says Brown. “Memories have been integrated—both positive and negative—you’ve gone through some difficulties, and you’ve developed a strong attachment.”

The third stage is often the make-or-break point for relationships. What happens at this stage is crucial to what comes next. Brown refers to this as the "seven-year or five-year itch."

“Almost every relationship has a drift apart phase,” says Brown. “Either you will keep drifting, or you will come back together. You need a crisis to get through and to be able to talk about it together—you’ve both grown and changed.”

For some couples, having children will either solidify the relationship or cause enough stress to make the relationship fall apart.

If a couple can overcome a crisis successfully, they will then move on to the next stage: deep attachment.

The deep attachment stage is the calm after the storm. By this point, a couple knows each other well, they've been through the inevitable ups and downs, they know that they can deal with crises, and they've likely made a plan for handling future crises.

When describing this stage of relationships, the term that Brown reiterates is “calm.” “When couples have been together for many years. It’s just very very calm. And it’s secure.”

The deep attachment stage can last a long time. If you’re lucky, it can last a lifetime.

Keeping It Going

How can we keep love going? According to researchers, one of the most effective ways of keeping the spark alive is novelty. Studies that have followed couples for years have found that doing new, exciting, and challenging activities together has huge benefits for relationships.

Dr. Art Aron, one of Fisher and Brown’s chief collaborators, and his wife, Dr. Elaine Aron developed the “Self Expansion Model” that offers insight into the early stages of love and partly explains why the first few months of a new relationship feel so intoxicating.

When you enter into a relationship, you literally increase who you are. You take on and share in your partner’s perspective on the world in addition to your own, their social status, and their resources. The benefits of new and challenging experiences together are enormous. And they last.

From the honeymoon phase to long-lasting commitment, nearly every couple grows through these stages of love. If you can successfully make it through turbulent times together, your bond will be strengthened and your commitment will be secure and steadfast.

Remember, suspension of judgment, rekindling of the early stages, and maintaining novelty, are just maybe the keys to cracking the code of lasting love.

Edwards S. On the Brain Series: Love and the brain . The Harvard Mahoney Neuroscience Institute; 2015.

The Anatomy of Love. Who we are .

Fisher HE, Aron A, Brown LL. Romantic love: A mammalian brain system for mate choice . Philos Trans R Soc Lond, B, Biol Sci . 2006;361(1476):2173-86. doi:10.1098/rstb.2006.1938

Association for Psychological Science. Romance research roundup .

Aron A, Lewandowski G, Mashek D, Aron E. The Self-Expansion Model of Motivation and Cognition in Close Relationships . Oxford University Press; 2013. doi:10.1093/oxfordhb/9780195398694.013.0005

Voice of America. Love is a matter of the brain .

Relationships

Relationships are a major part of life. God encourages us to form many different kinds of relationships. Many people first think of romantic relationships when they think of getting to know people closely. Dating is an important part of forming relationships. Friendships are also vital to our experience in this life. Friends have the opportunity to serve and help us through difficult times. God asks us to find good friends and to be a good friend to those around us. By supporting and lifting others in our relationships, we will find ourselves strengthened and blessed. Relationships are a primary way that God uses us to help Him achieve His purpose.

Family relationships are incredibly vital as well. The family is the most basic unit of heavenly order. God understands that every family situation is different, but He has provided families as a way for us to receive support from people who care about us unconditionally. He desires that we pursue starting our own families when the time is right, encouraging us to uplift our families and help strengthen them.

God also cares about the relationship we have with Him. He wants us to be close to Him, and we do that by keeping the commandments. When we have a close relationship with God, He helps us know what we can do to strengthen our relationships with those around us. Through these relationships, God uses us to answer prayers and help His children. Without these crucial relationships, living the gospel would be almost impossible.

The talks in this collection discuss friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships, and our personal relationship with Heavenly Father. They offer advice to improve the relationships we already have and begin new ones. God has asked us to love one another, and as we develop relationships with those around us, we are able to keep this important commandment.

Inspiring Shorts

View Collection>

By Study & By Faith

Why Our Bodies Matter in a Digital World

“To Me He Doth Not Stink”: Advocacy and Love

Life Connected

“Yea, They May Forget, Yet Will I Not Forget Thee”

“Therefore Ye Are No More Strangers and Foreigners”

Empathy and the Pure Love of Christ

Change: It’s Always a Possibility!

The Entire Church Shall Take Hold of Christ

Jesus Christ, the Greatest Influencer in Your Life

Our Own Best Story

Preserving Our Relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ

President M. Russell Ballard, acting president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Questions and Answers

Stand Up Straight, Smile, and Remember Who You Are

L. Whitney Clayton - Presidency of the Seventy

Getting and Staying Connected

Learning Eternal Truths Through Our Relationships with Others

A Gospel of Relationships

The Tie That Binds

Lessons That Have Helped Me

“taking sweet counsel”.

The Streams of Your Life

Little Things Count

The Gospel and Romantic Love

Ten keys to successful dating and marriage relationships.

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Quick and Easy Semantic Relationships Speech Therapy Worksheets

These semantic relationships speech therapy worksheets make it simple to work on this skill. They are absolutely perfect for upper elementary or middle school speech therapy students who need to work on semantic relationships, and involve no prep- making them quick and easy to use during a busy day! In this blog post, I’ll share some of my favorite ideas and worksheets for targeting this skill area with your speech and language students- plus, why you should work on semantic relationships in the first place.

Why Target Semantic Relationships in Speech Therapy?

So, why target semantic relationships in speech therapy anyways?

When we have so many possible objectives that we could be targeting in speech therapy, and so little time, we want to get the most “bang for our buck”.

I want to work on skills that are going to be useful to my students outside of the therapy room. Understanding concepts such as location, direction, time, serial order, and passive voice are important skills to have. Once I began working on this skill area with a few of my students, I quickly realized how many of them struggled especially with spatial concepts and time.

semantic relationship worksheets for speech therapy

How to Work on Semantic Relationships

Time and Sequence Semantic Relationships

I started with calendar and time vocabulary skills.

“Can you tell me what day comes before Sunday?”

“If your math test is two days after Tuesday, what day of the week is your test?”

“Can you tell me what month is two months before March?”

I was met with a quite a few blank stares. I immediately got out my dry erase board. It turned out that a lot of my students weren’t able to list all of the months of the year- so that was a great starting point.

I explained that the days of the week- and the months of the year- are like a cycle. They keep happening, over and over and over again.

We used sticky notes and we would place it on a target- let’s say, June. Then, I’d ask them to tell me what month came after June. Many told me the month that came before June, so this was a fantastic starting point: understanding “before” vs “after”.

We kept going with time and sequence concepts. We used holidays, daily school schedules, you name it. I included as many time vocabulary words and phrases I could think of. Eventually, I made semantic relationship worksheets so that I didn’t have to think of these questions off the top of my head- plus, so many of my students were benefiting from working on these skills.

Location Semantic Relationships

Once we’d gotten the basics of time, I moved on to location.

If you’re working with upper elementary or middle school speech therapy students- don’t assume they can tell the difference between “left” vs “right”. If your student doesn’t know the difference, this is a great place to start. If your student does know the difference, move it up a notch.

Can he show you what it means when an item is “to the left of” or “to the right of” another item? How about if one item is “on the right side of” or “on the left side of” another item?

Comparative Relationships

Next, we worked on comparative relationships.

The basics of this included asking questions like, “Is a giraffe taller than a zebra?”

To make it more challenging for upper elementary and middle school speech therapy students, add in more variables.

An example of this might be, “Matt ran the race in 55 seconds. Jason ran the race in a minute. Matt’s time was ________ than Jason’s.” (Answer: shorter than Jason’s).

I included comparative relationship worksheets in this packet , but then created a whole task card set focusing solely on comparative relationships as well. These task cards are designed for upper elementary or middle school speech therapy students and work on vocabulary such as more, less, larger, smaller, higher, lower, shorter, & longer.

Passive Voice

Another area to target when working on semantic relationships is passive voice. Passive voice is when the subject is acted on the verb (this passive voice article by grammarly.com is useful for explaining this concept).

I had my students tell me if two sentences meant the same thing or something different. For example: The meteorologist forecasted the weather. The weather was forecasted by the meteorologist.

Those sentences mean the same thing (though, one is much easier to read than the other).

I also have my students practice arranging words into sentences that contain passive voice ( meteorologist watched thunderstorm The by the was ). This gives them some more practice with understanding the concept.

In conclusion…

I hope this article gives you some simple ideas for teaching semantic relationships in speech therapy. If you want quick and easy, ready-to-go semantic relationship worksheets (or semantic relationship task cards ), be sure to check out these links to my TpT store. Also, before sure to grab your free Semantic Relationships Worksheet for grades 3-5 before you go!

Talk next time!

Karen @ The Pedi Speechie

The BEST Free Online Speech Therapy Games, Tools, and Websites

Speech therapists looking for free online speech therapy games will want to check out this blog post! This blog post contains a collection of interactive games and online resources that will be motivating for younger children AND older students! There are links to digital games and reinforcers, such as tic tac toe, online checkers, digital…

Free Halloween Speech Therapy Activities

Alright, it’s no secret: Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. It comes as no surprise, then, that I LOVE incorporating this holiday (whenever possible) into my speech and language therapy sessions. This year, I teamed up with a group of incredible SLP bloggers and TPT authors to create some FREE Halloween Speech Therapy Activities…

How to Do Speech Therapy with 4th and 5th Graders (SLP Guide)

Are you a speech pathologist that works with 4th and 5th graders? Do you need tips on how to work best with your upper elementary students? This is the ultimate SLP Guide for working with 4th and 5th grade in a school setting! In this blog post, I’m going to share some of my favorite…

BEST Books for Speech Therapy: 4th and 5th Grade

What are the BEST books for speech therapy to use with your upper elementary students? In this blog post, I’m sharing my favorite speech therapy book ideas for 4th and 5th graders. You don’t have to just use books in speech therapy with younger students. They’re wonderful to use with 4th and 5th grade as…

Read This Quick List of 9 Neither Nor Sentences Examples

Are you a speech-language pathologist, intervention specialist, or teacher searching for neither nor sentences examples? This blog post defines correlative conjunctions. It provides example sentences using a variety of different correlative conjunctions, as well as different ideas for teaching conjunctions. Understanding how to use conjunctions isn’t just important for formal writing skills. This is an…

Easy Earth Day Speech Therapy Activities

Looking for Earth Day Speech Therapy Activities to try with your students? It seems like this topic is more important than ever before. If you’re a busy SLP who needs some inspiring speech therapy activities and ideas for Earth Day, look no further. This blog post was written for you! In this blog post, I’ll…

2 Minute Speech On Relationship In English

Good morning to everyone in this room. I would like to thank the principal, the teachers, and my dear friends for allowing me to speak to you today about relationships. Everybody’s life depends heavily on their relationships. You need a relationship to be happy, express your emotions, feel appreciated, connect, and get to know yourself better.

There are four different kinds of relationships: romantic, friendly, family, and acquaintance. Family members and relatives are included in family ties, which are based on blood, kinship, marriage, or adoption.

Relationships are important in life because they provide a relationship between two individuals based on shared interests, points of understanding, needs, or even love. Mutual trust, respect, and love are the three foundations on which relationships are based. Sharing genuine emotions may build mutual trust and loyalty, and respect is crucial in both personal and professional relationships.

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Lisa Hochstein Reveals Huge News on Her Relationship with Jody: “Next Chapter”

The Real Housewives of Miami cast member gives a look at life with boyfriend Jody Glidden and reveals an update on her divorce from Lenny.

Lisa Hochstein and boyfriend, Jody Glidden , are adding another "chapter" to their love story after two years of dating.

How to Watch

Watch The Real Housewives of Miami on Peacock and the Bravo App .

The Real Housewives of Miami cast member and mom of two took to Instagram on Saturday, Aug. 31, where she posted a series of stunning photos , standing next to Jody on a Miami rooftop in contrasting outfits. But this post wasn't to show off their latest night out. The couple posted these photos to celebrate their two-year dating anniversary.

"Two years of love, laughter, and a whole lot of moonlit memories," Lisa wrote in the caption of the post. "Here's to the next chapter in our story."

Jody took to the comments, where he wrote the sweetest message for Lisa on their anniversary. "Who would've thought that two people on the rebound would make it through such a wild journey and now, two years later, be blending families? Life is full of surprises!" he wrote, accompanied by a red heart emoji.

"So happy we found each other," Lisa wrote in reply.

Lisa Hochstein and her boyfriend, Jody Glidden, while out together on the town.

Lisa Hochstein posts an image of herself and her boyfriend Jody Glidden to her instagram.

Lisa's pal Adriana De Moura also had something to say about this celebration. "Beautiful couple," she commented, accompanied by two flame emojis and clapping emojis.

"Love ya," Lisa replied.

What everyone’s talking about on Bravo:

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Lisa hochstein's latest update on divorce from lenny hochstein.

It's been more than two years since Lisa announced in May 2022 that she would be getting a divorce from her husband, Dr. Lenny Hochstein , after 13 years of marriage. Both Lisa and Lenny have moved on with Lenny now engaged to Katharina Mazepa, yet their divorce remains at a standstill.

After posting these photos of her and Jody, one commenter asked if her divorce had been finalized yet. She replied with a very frank update on where the state of their divorce stands.

Lisa Hochstein Has the Best Explanation for Her Bad Attempts to Photoshop Ex Lenny Out of Photos

"Oops, no," Lisa replied. "I'm not divorced yet. Courts take a while."

In an interview with Page Six in April of this year, Lisa revealed what has been holding them up from divorcing. "It truly saddens me that Lenny has caused me to spend tens of thousands of dollars in attorney's fees that should have been conserved for our children," she said. "I don't understand. He's engaged. Doesn't he want to get divorced?"

During the RHOM Season 6 Reunion part two, Lisa elaborated on what has been keeping them from finalizing things. "I don't know what his motive is," she said. "He's suing me for forks and knives and pillows and art — art that is mine by the way. He just has it out for me."

Bravo Fan Fest and WWHL in Miami Tickets Are Selling Out — Get Yours Now!

Bravoholics are invited to take a trip to Miami for a party unlike any other! Bravo Fan Fest hits Miami on Saturday, November 23 for a one-day event featuring panels, activations, photo opps, and over 25 Bravolebs. Tickets are now on sale at www.BravoFanFest.com .

Plus, Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen is filming five shows from Miami on Thursday, November 21 and Friday, November 22, so now's your chance to make your Clubhouse debut. Buy tickets for WWHL in Miami now .

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Speech on Relationship
Speech on Relationship Relationships are like invisible threads that connect people. They can be with family, friends, or even someone special.
20 Powerful TED Talks on Relationships & Communication
20 powerful TED Talks on relationships, communication, and related topics for mental health professionals and counseling students to use as psychoeducational tools (or for self-help).
Talks that just might save your relationship
Talks that just might save your relationship No matter how long you've been together, it never hurts to have a little refresher course on what really matters.
10 Stages Of A Relationship (What stage are you in?)
Most love relationships begin, develop, and even unravel without being fully aware of the stages of a relationship.
The 10 Truths of Happy Relationships
According to experts, the foundation of being happy in a relationship is built on communication and trust. Relationship experts agree there are many qualities that happy relationships have in common.
Ideas about Relationships
Creating a contract — yes, a contract! — could help you get what you want from your relationship. Writing a contract about every part of your relationship -- from sex to money, housework to the dog — may sound clinical or calculating, but the practice has been transformative for author Mandy Len Catron and her partner. Posted Feb 2023.
Communication in Relationships: Importance + How to Improve It
Communication is vital for healthy relationships. Being able to talk openly and honestly with the people in your life allows you to share, learn, respond, and forge lasting bonds. This is a vital part of any relationship, including those with friends and family, but it can be particularly important in romantic relationships.
22 Steps To Better Communication In Your Relationships
22 Steps To Better Communication In Your Relationships Be it in work or personal situations, the ability to communicate effectively can make the difference between a cooperative and enlightening ...
12 Concrete Steps To Communicate Better In Relationships
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Quick and Easy Semantic Relationships Speech Therapy Worksheets
April 26, 2021. These semantic relationships speech therapy worksheets make it simple to work on this skill. They are absolutely perfect for upper elementary or middle school speech therapy students who need to work on semantic relationships, and involve no prep- making them quick and easy to use during a busy day!
2 Minute Speech On Relationship In English
2 Minute Speech On Relationship In English Good morning to everyone in this room. I would like to thank the principal, the teachers, and my dear friends for allowing me to speak to you today about relationships. Everybody's life depends heavily on their relationships. You need a relationship to be happy, express your emotions, feel appreciated, connect, and get to know yourself better.
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A Speech on Relationships With the speech on relationships, you can actually discuss how the relationship is important for each one of us. The relationship is not only about making a new one but how to nurture it on a day-to-day basis.
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Lisa Hochstein revealed that she and boyfriend Jody Glidden celebrated a milestone this September 2024 amid her divorce from Lenny. Read on to find out more details.

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20 Powerful TED Talks on Relationships & Communication

1. Four Habits of ALL Successful Relationships | Dr. Andrea & Jonathan Taylor-Cummings (2019)

2. Ten Ways to Have a Better Conversation | Celeste Headlee (2016)

3. The Brain in Love | Helen Fisher (2008)

4. Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome? | Debi Silber (2020)

5. The Dreaded Drama Triangle | Lucy Barnes (2018)

6. How to Fix a Broken Heart | Guy Winch (2018)

7. How to Speak So That People Want to Listen | Julian Treasure (2014)

8. How to Spot a Liar | Pamela Meyer (2011)

9. How Your Brain Falls In Love | Dawn Maslar (2016)

10. Infidelity: To Stay or Go…? | Lucy Beresford (2018)

11. Is Casual Sex Bad for You? | Dr. Zhana Vrangalova (2015)

12. Is It Lust or Is It Love? | Terri Orbuch (2014)

13. Overcoming the Fear of Love | Trillion Small (2018)

14. The Power of Vulnerability | Brené Brown (2011)

15. Relationships Are Hard, but Why? | Stan Tatkin (2016)

16. Rethinking Infidelity… A Talk for Anyone Who Has Ever Loved | Esther Perel (2015)

17. The Science of Love | John Gottman (2018)

18. Skills for Healthy Romantic Relationships | Joanne Davila (2015)

19. What a Sex Worker Can Teach Us About Human Connection | Nicole Emma (2018)

20. Why Domestic Violence Victims Don’t Leave | Leslie Morgan Steiner (2013)

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10 Stages Of A Relationship From Hello to Goodbye

What Are The Stages Of A Relationship?

The First 5 Stages of a Relationship (Coming Together)

2. Experimentation Stage

3. Intensifying or Bliss Stage

4. Integration Stage

5. Bonding Stage

The Next 5 Stages of a Relationship (Coming Apart)

7. Circumscribing Stage

8. Stagnation Stage

9. Avoidance Stage

10. Termination Stage

Where do you fall in these phases of relationships?

Relationships

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Lessons from my father's final days

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Can AI predict someone's breakup?

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The unifying power of grace

True love — and the myth of "happily ever after"

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What it means to communicate well in a relationship

Reasons people struggle to communicate with their partner

How to communicate better in a relationship:

Create a pattern of openness.

Speak gently.

Avoid criticism.

Use "I" statements.

Empathize first, then respond.

Accept that you will see things differently sometimes.

Regulate your own emotions.

Repair any damage and reconnect as soon as possible.

Get to know yourself better.

Release the fear of division.

What to do when your partner is a poor communicator

Can you fix lack of communication in a relationship?

How can I improve my communication skills in relationships?