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Respect is earned, not given

respect should be earned not given essay muet

Know your worth and know who’s worth your respect

By Kelsey Nevius @kelnevs

We’ve been taught since a young age that we should respect everyone, especially those who are different from us. We’ve been taught in school to respect our teachers, our peers, and our elders. We’ve been taught by our family to do the same, in all aspects: respect everyone around you. No questions asked, simply treat everyone with kindness and respect and everyone will treat you with the same.

I’m assuming that everyone tries to stick to the morals they were taught when they were young: don’t talk back to your parents, respect your elders, don’t have a dirty mouth especially if you are a lady, and raise your hand so you can be called on to speak. These social norms are enforced at a young age. We all know them, and we’ve all lived by them. We did this when we were young because if you did not comply, a punishment would be issued and you would learn, sooner or later, to follow the crowd and follow the rules. As I grew up, I too followed these rules. I still have a difficult time speaking out in class if I don’t raise my hand to be called on first. And that seems so silly. I am a grown adult, yet I still feel the need to raise my hand to say what I want to say.

And as I’ve grown up, I’ve come to realize that sometimes trying to treat everyone with the same respect and kindness that you would like to receive doesn’t always work out in your favor. So, my question is simple: why is respect simply given, and not earned?

I am a fairly outspoken person on the subject. Ask me if I respect someone more than they respect me, and I would most likely answer no. To me, respect is a two-way street. If you treat me with kindness and respect, I will do the same to you. If someone continuously has no respect for me, then I see no reason why I should, in turn, respect them. If someone continuously disrespects my time, emotions, lifestyle, anything of that nature, I see no reason why I should respect theirs. I would much rather part ways with the person who does not respect me in a civil manner than continue to be disrespected. And I guess what I’m trying to say here is, you shouldn’t either.

You are no lesser or greater than any other human being on this planet. Respect should be shared equally with your peers, to your boss, to your parents, with one exception: you deserve to be respected as much as they do, and if you are not, you should not feel as if your respect is simply given. No matter if someone is older, wealthier, or wiser, no one should feel the compulsion to give respect to someone who is disrespectful of them. Respect should always be earned. Those who have no respect for you should be treated civilly and with kindness, but should not have the gift of your respect.

I have grown into a breaker of these social norms. I talk back to my parents if I have a different perspective on something being discussed, mainly because I was also raised to have my own opinions and clearly state them. I highly respect my elders because I realize they have so much to teach me, but at the same time, my respect is not given if they do not give theirs to me. If someone continuously disrespects me, I do not respect them. Don’t get me wrong – I am civil and kind, but I feel no compulsion to respect them and you shouldn’t either.

7 Reasons Why Respect is Earned, Not Given is Up for Debate!

We've all heard it before, that adage that's been used so often it has practically become a societal mantra: "respect is earned, not given." But have you ever stopped to dissect what that actually means? After all, words are not just words; they shape our perspectives and drive our actions. So, let's peel back the layers of this intriguing, albeit controversial, saying.

In its most basic form, "respect is earned, not given" suggests that genuine respect should be something one earns through deeds and character, rather than something one receives automatically. It's a creed often invoked to promote accountability and personal growth. However, the phrase is often met with both fervent agreement and dissent, making it a fertile ground for discussion.

Imagine you're at a new job. You're a bundle of nerves but also eager to impress. Your new boss walks in, and you instantly stand up, partly out of respect and partly out of obligation. Is that real respect or conditioned behavior? That's what we're here to unpack.

Over the next several sections, we'll delve deep into the complexities of respect from various angles: authority, workplace dynamics, relationships, and even social media. You'll be surprised how many facets this single phrase can have.

We've even brought in some heavy hitters—think psychologists and researchers—to shed light on this complex issue. So buckle up, because what you're about to read may challenge your preconceived notions!

This article is optimized to give you a comprehensive understanding of why "respect is earned, not given" is a phrase worth dissecting. Whether you swear by it or swear at it, we've got something for everyone.

The Controversial Nature of the Statement

Before we dive into the different dimensions of respect, let's talk about why "respect is earned, not given" is such a polarizing statement. On one hand, it is a call for personal responsibility, urging people to act in ways that garner respect from others. This perspective aligns well with meritocratic values that emphasize the role of individual effort in earning rewards.

However, the flip side is where it gets tricky. This phrase could also imply that unless someone proves their worth, they don't deserve respect—a slippery slope leading to judgment and discrimination. The onus, in this interpretation, shifts unfairly onto the individual to 'earn' basic human decency, which should ideally be a given.

Moreover, what "earns" respect can be incredibly subjective and vary from person to person. For some, respect is automatically given until a person does something to lose it. For others, it starts at zero and must be earned incrementally. So, who's right?

Even the word 'respect' can mean different things to different people. In some cases, it may mean admiration or reverence, while in others, it may simply mean treating others with kindness and dignity. This nebulous definition further adds to the controversy surrounding the phrase.

Given the many interpretations and implications of the phrase, it's worth a deep dive. As we explore the topic, keep an open mind. We'll consider the good, the bad, and the ugly to give you a well-rounded perspective.

So, are you ready to challenge your beliefs, or perhaps fortify them with new insights? Either way, let's plunge into this complex web and untangle the intricate facets of why "respect is earned, not given" is far from a one-size-fits-all statement.

1. The Role of Authority: When Respect is Assumed

Now, let's begin by examining the role authority plays in the notion that "respect is earned, not given." In settings like the military, law enforcement, or even academic institutions, respect for authority figures is often not just assumed but demanded. The reasoning here is that the position itself, rather than the individual occupying it, warrants respect.

But here's the conundrum: Is respect for a title genuine respect for the person? Often, this type of respect is not based on a person's character or actions but on societal norms that dictate we must respect the position. It's like a pre-loaded respect card that comes with the title. Does that make it any less valid?

Certainly, the societal structure would crumble without some level of assumed respect for authority figures. Yet, the question remains, is this the kind of respect that enriches our lives and promotes a healthier society? Or is it merely a mechanism for maintaining order?

Here's where it gets even more complex. Authority figures can abuse this automatically accorded respect to wield power unfairly. So, while some level of initial respect may be necessary, a continuous evaluation should be in place. In other words, even if respect is initially given due to a role, maintaining that respect should depend on the individual's actions.

Contrary to the idea that "respect is earned, not given," the authority paradigm almost operates on a model where respect is lost, not earned. It starts high and can either be maintained or diminish based on behavior.

So in the realm of authority, the "respect is earned, not given" paradigm doesn't always apply, illustrating the first crack in this blanket statement. While the role might automatically confer respect, it's the individual's behavior that determines whether that respect is sustained.

2. The Workplace Dynamic: Professionalism vs. Authentic Respect

Moving from the broad societal view to the microcosm of the workplace, let's examine how the "respect is earned, not given" philosophy applies here. Workplaces often adopt a protocol of mutual respect as part of their corporate culture. But let's be honest, that's often more a form of professional courtesy than genuine, deep-seated respect.

Why does this matter? Because this facade can sometimes blur the lines between authentic respect and mere politeness. While courtesy in the workplace is essential, it shouldn't be mistaken for the kind of respect that one earns through integrity, skill, and compassion. The two are not interchangeable.

What complicates this further is the hierarchy that exists within most work environments. Higher-ups command a level of respect purely by virtue of their position, similar to authority figures in broader society. But is this always deserved? You might respect your boss because they sign your paycheck, but that doesn't necessarily mean you agree with their management style or decision-making.

It's here that the principle of "respect is earned, not given" finds its footing. In a workspace, you may have to earn your colleagues' respect by showcasing your skills, reliability, and team spirit. You can't just waltz in on your first day expecting people to hold you in high esteem.

Moreover, a leader who earns respect rather than demanding it is more likely to foster a positive, productive work environment. Leadership studies corroborate this by indicating that a leader's effectiveness is closely tied to the respect they earn from their team.

So while professional courtesy is a given, genuine respect in the workplace aligns more closely with the "respect is earned, not given" principle. It requires ongoing effort, integrity, and a willingness to collaborate.

3. Social Media: The Illusion of Quick-Fire Respect

As we step into the whirlwind world of social media, the notion of "respect is earned, not given" takes another interesting twist. Social platforms give people a chance to broadcast their lives, thoughts, and achievements to a wide audience. And guess what? A huge following or viral post can feel like instant respect or admiration.

However, let's pump the brakes here. The likes, shares, and followers can create an illusion of respect that is both shallow and transient. Do people really respect you, or do they just find your content entertaining or thought-provoking for a fleeting moment?

The anonymity and detachment provided by social media platforms often result in a distorted understanding of respect. Someone might respect your opinion on a subject but also troll you on another matter five minutes later. It's respect with a small ‘r,' driven by the whims of public opinion and algorithms, rather than meaningful interaction.

Studies have shown that social media metrics like likes and followers don't equate to genuine respect or influence in the real world. Remember, respect is a complex emotion cultivated over time and through various shared experiences. Social media rarely offers such depth, reducing respect to a surface-level sentiment.

So, can you really earn respect on social media? Possibly, but it would require more than just posting popular content. It would need a consistent demonstration of character, knowledge, and empathy—attributes that are hard to convey in 280 characters or a series of images.

This all serves to illustrate that the instant gratification of 'respect' on social media is a far cry from the earned respect spoken of in our controversial phrase. If anything, social media highlights the superficiality that can come with misunderstood or misapplied notions of respect.

4. In Relationships: The Balance Between Love and Respect

In personal relationships, whether friendships or romantic partnerships, the maxim "respect is earned, not given" also holds a special significance. One could argue that love should naturally encompass respect, but the two are not always one and the same.

Think about it: You may love someone dearly, but do you always respect their choices? Love often blinds us to the faults of the other person, leading us to compromise or overlook behaviors that, under other circumstances, would demand our utmost scrutiny.

That's why, in relationships, it becomes crucial to separate the threads of love and respect and evaluate them individually. You may love someone unconditionally but still have boundaries and standards that need respecting. The dynamic between love and respect is like a delicate dance, requiring finesse to maintain balance.

Experts in relationship psychology often stress the importance of mutual respect as a cornerstone for a healthy relationship. Love might be the spark that ignites a relationship, but respect is the fuel that keeps it going. Without respect, love can dwindle into a toxic cycle of emotional dependency and manipulation.

So yes, while you may give love freely, respect in a relationship should align with the principle that "respect is earned, not given." Both parties should continually strive to earn respect through kindness, understanding, and loyalty.

After all, a relationship founded on earned respect is likely to be more resilient and fulfilling. It provides a stable ground upon which love can flourish, without the hindrance of doubt or resentment. So, while love may initiate the journey, it is earned respect that navigates it to a fulfilling destination.

5. The Generational Gap: Changing Views on Respect

Let's take a moment to discuss how generational perspectives can affect our understanding of the phrase "respect is earned, not given." Older generations often lean towards a more traditional view where respect is, to some extent, automatically accorded based on age or experience. It's the classic 'respect your elders' mantra we've all heard.

Younger generations, on the other hand, tend to question these traditional norms. Raised in an era of rapid social change and individual empowerment, they are more inclined to believe that respect must be earned, regardless of age or social standing.

Now, neither of these perspectives is universally right or wrong. They're shaped by different social constructs, historical contexts, and life experiences. However, the clash between these viewpoints can lead to tension and misunderstandings, especially in multi-generational settings like the family or workplace.

What's interesting is that research shows generational attitudes toward respect can have a tangible impact on societal dynamics, including politics, social policies, and even consumer behavior. Understanding these generational nuances is essential for effective communication and mutual respect.

For instance, businesses nowadays must consider these differing attitudes to effectively market their products or build a cohesive work environment. By being aware of these generational differences, we can bridge the gap and foster a culture where respect is both given and earned in balanced measures.

So, the generational lens adds another layer of complexity to the concept of "respect is earned, not given," reminding us that respect is not a one-size-fits-all proposition.

6. Cultural Differences: How the World Sees Respect

If generational attitudes weren't complex enough, let's throw in cultural perspectives to the mix. Different cultures around the world have their own unique interpretations of respect, shaped by history, religion, and social norms.

In some Eastern cultures, for example, respect for elders is deeply ingrained and is almost seen as a moral obligation. The assumption here is somewhat contrary to the "respect is earned, not given" motto. Rather, the older you are, the more respect you automatically command.

Western cultures, on the other hand, often place a higher emphasis on individualism and meritocracy. In these societies, the notion that "respect is earned, not given" is more readily embraced. You prove your worth through your actions, not your age or social standing.

Even within these broad categories, there are nuances. For instance, some cultures emphasize respect for community and collective wellbeing over individual accomplishments. In such environments, you earn respect by how well you support the community rather than just personal achievements.

The implications are vast. If you find yourself in a culturally diverse environment, being aware of these different perspectives on respect can be a game-changer. It can affect everything from your social interactions to your professional relationships.

So, the cultural tapestry adds yet another intricate pattern to the complex fabric of respect. It serves as a reminder that the concept of "respect is earned, not given" can be vastly different depending on where you are in the world, both literally and metaphorically.

7. Time Factor: Why Respect is a Long-Term Investment

If you've ever heard the phrase, "Rome wasn't built in a day," you'll understand why earning respect is often a long-term investment. Whether in relationships, at work, or in community settings, respect takes time to cultivate. Instant gratification doesn't apply here.

So why is time such a critical element in earning respect? For one, it allows people to observe consistency in your actions, integrity in your decisions, and authenticity in your interactions. Snap judgments rarely give a well-rounded view of a person's character.

Moreover, time provides the space for growth and improvement. Even if you make a mistake or falter in some way, consistent effort over time can rebuild and strengthen the respect others have for you. Time is the soil in which the seed of respect, once sown, can take root and grow.

It's also essential to remember that the time factor works both ways. Just as you are working to earn others' respect, you must allow them the time to earn yours. Rushing to judgments or expecting immediate validation can set the stage for disappointment and conflict.

Let's get real—nobody is perfect. And so, giving time for respect to flourish allows for human imperfections. It helps build a more authentic, empathetic environment where people can be themselves without the constant fear of judgment.

So when we talk about "respect is earned, not given," it's crucial to factor in the dimension of time. It's a process, not an event. Your patience and consistent efforts compound over time, yielding the rich dividends of mutual respect and understanding.

Expert Opinions: What Psychologists and Researchers Say

It's not just armchair philosophy; experts in psychology and social sciences have dived deep into the mechanics of respect. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned researcher in relationship psychology, emphasizes that respect and admiration are the two most critical elements for a long-lasting relationship. And guess what? They have to be earned!

Furthermore, a 2017 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology explored how perceptions of respect and self-worth significantly impacted job satisfaction and general well-being. Employees who felt they had to earn respect reported higher levels of work satisfaction compared to those who felt respect was a given.

Research in social dynamics also illuminates how mutual respect is a vital component for societal cohesion. One study found that communities with higher levels of earned respect tend to have lower crime rates and better public engagement. It creates a positive feedback loop, where earned respect contributes to community well-being, which in turn fosters more respect.

So, the science backs it up—earning respect has tangible benefits for both individuals and communities. The act of earning respect isn't just a moral virtue but a societal necessity.

It also aligns with the cognitive-behavioral theory, which postulates that our behaviors affect how we are perceived and treated by others. Earning respect is not just a state of being but a dynamic process that involves ongoing actions and adjustments.

Whether you look at academic research, psychological theories, or empirical data, the consensus among experts is clear. The notion that "respect is earned, not given" is more than a catchphrase; it's a principle backed by substantial evidence and expert opinion.

The Real Life Implications: Stories that Make You Think

We've talked theories, we've analyzed concepts, but let's get down to the nitty-gritty—real-life implications of the mantra "respect is earned, not given." Stories have a way of illuminating complex ideas, making them relatable and easily digestible.

Consider the tale of a young entrepreneur who launched a startup straight out of college. Initially, he struggled to gain the respect of industry veterans and stakeholders. But instead of demanding it, he earned it through years of hard work, innovation, and ethical business practices. Today, he's a thought leader in his field, commanding the respect he once yearned for.

Or take the story of a social activist who fought for gender equality in a conservative community. Instead of merely voicing her opinions, she led by example—organizing community programs, educating the youth, and challenging traditional norms. With time, even her staunchest critics couldn't help but respect her dedication and the positive changes she instigated.

Such stories are more than just inspirational anecdotes. They serve as living proof that respect can be earned through actions, not just words. They reveal the transformative power of earned respect, capable of altering opinions, changing lives, and even reshaping entire communities.

In today's digital age, where stories can quickly go viral, these narratives serve as a compelling reminder of the values we hold dear. They remind us that respect isn't just an abstract concept, but a concrete, tangible attribute that we can all strive to earn and give.

Remember, these stories aren't exceptions; they can be the rule if we embrace the concept that respect is a two-way street. Let these real-life accounts inspire you to question your own understanding of respect and challenge you to earn it, not just expect it.

Why It Matters: The Importance of Earning Respect

So, we've dissected the idea that "respect is earned, not given" from various angles, but why does it matter in the grand scheme of things? Let's start with the obvious—our mental well-being. When you know you've earned someone's respect, it positively affects your self-esteem and self-worth. You feel valued, heard, and understood.

But the benefits don't just stop at the individual level. When people within a community, whether it's a family, a workplace, or a social group, make a concerted effort to earn each other's respect, the entire dynamic shifts for the better. Communication flows more freely, disagreements are resolved more amicably, and overall happiness indexes rise.

Let's not forget about societal benefits. Earning respect, as opposed to assuming it should be handed out freely, creates a meritocracy where the most dedicated, ethical, and competent individuals rise to positions of influence. This is not just beneficial but essential for the functioning of a healthy society.

Moreover, the act of earning respect encourages self-improvement and personal growth. When you know you have to work for respect, you're motivated to be the best version of yourself. You strive to improve, not just for your benefit, but also as a way to honor the respect others have invested in you.

Perhaps, most importantly, the idea of earning respect fosters a culture of accountability. It serves as a check against arrogance, entitlement, and abuse of power. When respect is not assumed but has to be earned, everyone is held to a higher standard of behavior and ethics.

So when you ponder why it matters, remember this: the concept that "respect is earned, not given" acts as the bedrock for individual happiness, social cohesion, and societal advancement. Underestimating its importance is not just an oversight but a detriment to our collective well-being.

Conclusion: Rethinking the 'Respect is Earned, Not Given' Mantra

As we wrap up, it's important to reflect on the journey we've undertaken to understand the multi-dimensional mantra that "respect is earned, not given." It's not just a catchy phrase to be thrown around lightly; it's a foundational principle that informs how we navigate our relationships, workplaces, and communities.

We've also seen how experts in psychology and social sciences have weighed in, providing a scientific underpinning to this age-old wisdom. Whether in the context of intimate relationships or societal dynamics, the necessity to earn respect is corroborated by research and expert opinion.

The stories and real-life implications we discussed further humanize the concept, bringing it down from the theoretical to the tangible. We've seen that earning respect can transform lives, reshape communities, and build bridges where there were once walls.

So, the next time you hear or use the phrase, "respect is earned, not given," do so with a full understanding of its weight and importance. It's a mantra that calls for action, for introspection, and for a continuous commitment to being better—both for ourselves and for those around us.

Let's take this wisdom to heart and make it an active part of our daily lives. We have nothing to lose but much to gain—greater self-esteem, more harmonious relationships, and a better society. Earning respect is not a one-time act but a lifelong pursuit, and it's never too late to start.

The argument for why respect must be earned rather than assumed or given freely is compelling, backed by both scientific evidence and everyday experience. It's high time we all internalize this mantra, not just as a rule for others to follow, but as a personal guideline for how we conduct ourselves in all aspects of life.

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Why Respect Is Earned Not Given

By: Author Valerie Forgeard

Posted on Published: July 21, 2022 - Last updated: July 1, 2023

Categories Self Improvement , Community , Culture , Leadership , Society

Respect is something that everyone wants to receive from others and that others want to give. For some people, earning it can be challenging because it requires a certain amount of effort. But in reality, respect cannot be bought or given for free; instead, it must be earned through one’s behavior toward others.

The Reasons Why Respect Is Earned

You can’t buy respect, and you won’t get it if you expect to be respected for any reason other than because people want to respect you.

There’s no magic way to suddenly make yourself seem more important or worthy of respect than the people around you.

If you’re dealing with someone who doesn’t show you respect, the best thing you can do is show them how much they mean to you, which will make them treat you better. The more respect you show others, the more they’ll want to return the favor. Never forget this.

Respect takes many forms and can be expressed in many ways:

Respect for diversity – This means accepting people who are different or want different things from us and treating them courteously.
Respect for disagreement – We shouldn’t disrespect those who disagree with us. If you disagree, just withdraw from the conversation. If everyone did that, there would be less conflict.
Respect for Elders – Respect for elders is something I was taught as a kid. It shows that we value their experience and wisdom, and it’s the first step in learning courtesy, even if some elders aren’t always pleasant.
Respect authority – This means respecting those who’ve power over us, such as parents, teachers, police officers, politicians, business people, and other leaders in our community. But not everyone is a role model, and sometimes it can be a challenge to respect them, but sometimes you may not be doing it for them, but for your peace so that you don’t get into unnecessary conflicts.
Respect for nature – We should treat the earth with utmost care because it provides us with food, fuel, and other resources we need to survive. It also provides us with the beauty that makes life worth living. This should be a golden rule in every culture.

Respecting Ourselves Is the First Step

Nothing is given to us as a gift. It takes time, effort, and patience to build trust, respect, and admiration in the eyes of others.

First and foremost, respect yourself by accepting who you’re. You may not be perfect, but you’re good enough. You may not be the most intelligent person in the room, but that doesn’t make you stupid.

You’re unique and distinctive. Your talents, skills, and abilities are all special in their way. No one else has had your experience or will ever have it again. So embrace who you’re and what you’ve to offer the world because it’s valuable.

The first step to earning respect is to respect yourself. It’s a simple concept, but it’s not so easy to get it right. It often takes years of self-reflection and self-acceptance before we can truly accept who we’re and what we stand for.

Treat Yourself With Love and Care Because Your Body Is Your Temple!

Your body can heal itself only if we give it what it needs (food, water, and exercise).

Eating clean, nutrient-dense foods allows our bodies to function correctly, which reduces the likelihood of getting sick! The same goes for exercise: Exercise helps our body’s blood flow and helps us stay healthy throughout the year! Being active also helps us sleep better at night.

Respect Is the Key to All Relationships

Respect is vital in many relationships, but it’s essential in friendships. Friendship is about giving, sharing, and helping others when needed.

We can show respect by listening to what our friends are saying, rather than just waiting for them to finish so we can put in our point of view. We can also show respect by honestly sharing our feelings and opinions with them, even though it may hurt or upset them.

Respect also means respecting each other’s differences – whether they’re physical (e.g., height or weight), emotional (e.g., feelings about school), or cultural (e.g., religious beliefs). By respecting these differences, everyone involved can show their true selves without fear of being judged or ridiculed by others.

Respect Should Go Both Ways

In an ideal world, respect is a two-way street, but it doesn’t always work that way. If you want to get respect from others, you must give it first.

You can’t demand respect from others and expect them to give it to you without asking.

Respect is a mutual feeling between two people . So if one person shows disrespect to the other, nothing will change.
Respect means being considerate of other people’s needs and wants . It means having good manners and being polite. Respect means treating everyone equally, regardless of age, race, gender, or religion.
Respect is an essential aspect of life that helps us get along. If we’re respectful to others, they’ll usually be respectful to us. Lack of respect can lead to bullying and conflict at school and workplaces, so teaching children how to respect others early is essential. It is important to teach them how to show respect to others, but it’s also essential for a young person to feel respected. If a young person feels respected, she’s more likely to show the same level of respect to others and become a role model!

Mutual Respect Helps Build Stronger Relationships

Mutual respect is a two-way street. If you want to earn another’s respect, you need to give it back:

Respect the individuality of every fellow human being, whether it’s your colleagues, parents, managers, teachers, or even strangers. Try to respect their personal beliefs and opinions, even if they differ from yours.

Respect must also be earned by respecting yourself and others around you.

You Can’t Buy True Respect

Most people may show you their deep admiration when you’re rich and powerful, but that doesn’t mean they show you genuine respect.

Genuine Respect Comes From Within and Is Earned Through Actions, Not Money or Looks

People show respect to others because they recognize that they share a common humanity with them. It’s a recognition of our commonalities and our shared humanity. And we’ve to earn it over time by showing that we’re worthy of respect.

It Takes Hard Work to Learn What Proper Respect Means

Respect can be defined in many ways. It can mean knowing your place in the social hierarchy or being aware of your abilities and limitations.

When we’re young and learning about life, most of us learn essential respect values:

Say please and thank you, hold the door for someone when they come through behind you (especially if they look like they need help), and don’t eat like a pig at the dinner table (or any table for that matter).

These simple ways show others that we care about them and their feelings. We should never forget that everyone wants to feel important, no matter who they’re or where they come from.

Learning what respect means, however, takes hard work. You have to work hard to learn how to treat others, and you’ve to learn how to behave in certain situations. Respect isn’t something you just get; you’ve to earn it over time by being considerate of others’ feelings.

In Life, Nothing Is Given to Us. Proper Respect Is Earned, and It’s a Choice

Respecting others is a rewarding experience that makes you feel happier about yourself and the world around you. It also makes for better relationships! But it’s important to remember that respect isn’t something you can buy or demand from others. You’ve to earn it by showing others that they’re just as important as everyone else – and maybe even more important because they’re different from us.

Can You Respect Someone Without Liking Them

Random things that interest me.

Respect is something that must be earned

I disagree. Respect is something you choose to give. It is not based on achievement. It is not based on personality. Respect is given because you value people. Inherently.

A position may be earned. A title. Leadership. However, respect is something that we choose to give.

People who are respected tend to behave in a manner worthy of how they are being treated. Obviously, that is not universal, but it is common enough to be worth noting. If you want people to behave well and treat others around you with kindness and gentleness, then treat them well. Do unto others…

There is another misconception about respect. Sometimes, people get the idea that one must always agree when showing respect. That is not true. It is very possible, and fruitful, to disagree and even argue in a manner that demonstrates politeness and consideration. If you value someone, you will want to tell them the truth. You will want to share your opinions with them honestly and completely. That can be done without berating the person, without insulting them or their opinions, and without causing hurt, guilt or shame.

It disappoints me when I hear people say, “I don’t respect the position, the uniform, or the title. If this guy wants my respect, he will have to earn it.” Additional, special respect may be earned by those who excel at something. However, this is not the foundation. We start by treating all people well with a base level of respect for their humanity, but we may find there are some who represent ideals in life that we wish to strive for ourselves, and who we wish to honor further. That is what “earning respect” is all about. It’s additive.

If someone needs to earn basic human respect from you, then you do not actually respect the person, you are only respecting their achievement, talent, or attributes. If you respect a person, you choose to do so without regard to what they have or have not done. Respecting their achievement, talent, or attributes is another thing entirely, and while this is not bad, it has very little to do with respecting the actual person.

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I totally agree in your definition of respect – only that I personally tend to respect everyone – until they prove they don’t deserve me respecting them. This is sometimes quite hard to get through – as there are many out there missusing this behavior.

And as you stated – argue if you think something is not correct. However – many tend to see this as an attack to their personality – which often makes arguing difficult. Anyway – nicely written.

If more people on this planet would handle this way – there would be no more war !

I have to respect fully disagree with your conclusion, even though I agree fully with your observations.

You almost seem to contradict yourself (or perhaps I’m reading you wrong). You say People who are respected tend to behave in a manner worthy of how they are being treated. Obviously, that is not universal, but it is common enough to be worth noting. If you want people to behave well and treat others around you with kindness and gentleness, then treat them well. Do unto othersâ€¦ That would seem to me to indicate they have earned the respect by how they behave and by how they treat others.

When I first “met” you on the Ubuntu Forums, I didn’t respect or disrespect you right away. I hadn’t made up my mind. I don’t respect titles. I respect people. And over the course of years, you have earned my respect based on how you treat others, how you express yourself with sensitivity toward various diverse groups while remaining strict and firm if you have to be.

Respect, as far as I’m concerned is all the way earned. You earn it by giving it to others.

Or maybe that’s what you were saying all along, and I just didn’t get it.

Perhaps the problem is the language I chose to use is ambiguous. It seems obvious to me that respect may be earned, but my main point was that the starting point of how we treat people should not be a baseline of “no respect.”

If people have to wait to earn the first little bit of respect before we treat them well, that would be contrary to what I am expressing.

My hope is that we treat people with kindness, gentleness, and with a manner that implies they begin a relationship with us at a baseline level of respect that is positive. This does not rule out an increase in how much we respect or honor them in the future, but it does say that we choose to allow all people to enter in to relationships with us with the scales already tipped in their favor until they prove to us they deserve otherwise.

I enjoyed reading your article on respect and I feel as though respect is a two way street. No one can say to a person I “DEMAND RESPECT” and expect to get it if they don’t show it first. THis world of our should not be a dictatorship. Treat people the way you wish to treated and most of the time you will be treated the same way back. This world is not a perfect one but if everybody showed respect there would be allot less heartache among many.

Comments are closed.

Earning Respect

Hint, it’s not about position or dominance..

Posted February 26, 2018 | Reviewed by Kaja Perina

Respect. Should you blindly respect your elders, your government, your teachers and your spiritual leaders? What if those people aren’t behaving in a way that engenders respect? What if they are flawed human beings who don’t practice what they preach, or who take advantage of their position? What if they don’t have the knowledge or insight truly necessary to lead and “do the right thing”?

What is respect? It’s not something that you get just because you are put in a position – after all, any system is prone to manipulation, be it voting for a political figure, getting a position of authority in a company that you didn’t deserve, or finding yourself in charge of something because there just wasn’t anyone else around to take care of it! True respect, according to dictionary.com, is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

So you could respect someone just because they are the boss, or in office, or a religious figure (“achievements”). And you could respect someone because they have amazing abilities, either natural or earned by years of practice. And you could respect someone because they can do things you could not dream of doing. But what about if you earned respect because you chose to do the right thing, honor others, walk your talk and stay above the fray, even when you wanted to jump down into the mud with those who are taunting you? What if you earned respect because you treated others with compassion and care and remembered that, deep down, human beings are all wired with the same needs and concerns?

To quote lyrics from a Buddy Guy song entitled, Skin Deep:

I’ve been around a while I know wrong from right And since a long time ago Things been always black and white Just like you can’t judge a book by the cover We all gotta be careful How we treat one another….. Skin Deep Skin Deep Underneath we’re all the same Skin Deep Skin Deep Underneath we’re all the same We’re all the same

If you are someone who believes that by virtue of your position – you are a parent, a boss, a coach of a sports team, an athlete who excels, etc. –you are deserving of respect, you probably want to stop reading here. However, if you are a person who wants to be respected because you are deserving of respect based on your qualities, read on for some ideas about how to be a respected person. Remember…

Actions really do speak louder than words. Just because you say you are a person of integrity or that you know what you are doing or that you care about people does not make it true. The adage “talk is cheap” applies here. Talk all you want, but it’s what you do that matters. And remember, people are watching: Your children watch. Your employees watch. Your friends watch. If you choose the wrong path and never admit your mistakes, or you try to protect those who have done wrong (including yourself), you will dig a deeper hole to rise from when you are trying to earn respect. Do what you would do if your actions would be plastered on the front page of the paper tomorrow morning.
To sing the lyrics from Skin Deep ; if you want to be respected, respect others. It’s true that while someone may look like different from you, underneath it all, we are all the same. Parents want more for their children. We all crave respect and recognition. We worry, we have fears, we get scared and we can feel joy. We may not agree on the paths to achieve resolution to these things, but in the end, we are mostly seeking the same ends. Don’t treat someone else differently because of the way they look, or where they come from, or their different viewpoint; underneath we’re all the same and if you want respect, try and find that common ground. Don’t judge the book by the cover, and you won’t be disrespected when you are wrong.
That cruelty of every kind conveys weakness, not strength (“All cruelty springs from weakness” – Seneca ). There are those who are cruel to the ones who are perceived to be “beneath” them – children, animals, a smaller or weaker spouse, employees, or those who are generally disadvantaged in life – it’s easy to be cruel to a person or an animal who has no chance to fight back or even the score. But exerting your power in these circumstances does not earn you respect; it shows you to be a weak individual who does not deserve respect. The truly powerful person subjugates themselves to those who are “weaker”.
That abilities and achievements can fail but qualities of character stay with you for a lifetime. At the top of your field? In the catbird seat of leadership in your company? Winning awards and accolades? Wealthy beyond your wildest imagination ? “This too shall pass.” All things in life are transitional. The mighty will fall, you can’t take it with you, and nothing lasts forever. If you want to garner respect, do so when you are up, when you are down and when you are in the middle. To be a truly respected person, you don’t need trappings; you need the right actions.
To take the higher ground. It’s so much safer up there – less flooding, a better view, not as many people crowded around. In fact, so many people want to stay down at the lower levels and duke it out to show their strength that when you take the higher ground, you by definition are someone to be looked up to!

If you want to be someone who is respected, start by respecting others. Seek to learn and understand.

Beverly D. Flaxington teaches at Suffolk University.

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The Importance of Respect for Us

Categories: Christian Worldview Respect

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Published: Jan 29, 2019

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We start teaching children about respect at a young age because it’s important, helping to foster feelings of trust, safety and well-being. We tell kids to “treat others the way they want to be treated,” generally meaning that accepting others for who they are will allow the same to happen to them, no matter our differences as individuals. This is a vital life lesson; we want children to feel safe in their own skin and show their ideas and opinions matter.

However, an issue can arise when we take this idea to the extreme, with the phrase, “respect isn’t given, it’s earned.” It’s pretty common, generally meaning that you have to work to be respected by others, essentially proving your worth. And this is true for when we think of respect in terms of admiration for someone, their personal character, their values, or their work. Obviously, you need to do something worth reverence if you want others to look up to you. But this is clearly a higher level of respect.

Beneath that, there is a baseline level of respect that people tend to forget about. It’s the level of courtesy that you give other people, simply because you recognize that other people are equal to you. Not everyone has to automatically have your admiration without working for it, but everyone deserves basic courtesy. Respect needing to be earned does not apply to the smallest amount of human decency that should be present in your daily interactions with others.

A lot of times, this “low-level” respect is also taught to us from a young age, in the form of manners or politeness. You say “excuse me” when you accidentally bump into someone. You learn to pronounce someone’s name correctly, especially if it’s an uncommon name. You acknowledge someone’s pronouns and correct yourself nicely if you get them wrong initially. You say, “Hello, how are you?” when greeted by a store employee. These all seem like common sense, but if we adopt the attitude of respect always needing to be earned, these niceties go out the window, thus creating an even crueler world.

Essentially, there’s two sides to respect. You can respect someone and because of that treat them like an authority, and you can also respect that other people are your equals and treat them like people. Everyone deserves enough respect to be treated like a person. Some people deserve additional respect, and can also be treated like an authority in certain situations. But expecting everyone else to treat you like an authority without having done anything, while also refusing to treat others like people, is ridiculous. You can be both respectful and respected without having a superiority complex.

You can’t go through your daily life with such a sense of entitlement, expecting other people to prove themselves to you by serving your every need while you simultaneously ignore them or refuse to acknowledge them as human beings. After all, we’re all just that. Human beings, born equal. You’re not better than everyone else and you certainly don’t need to command more respect than everyone else.

And you can recognize that other people are your equals without losing any of your own status or rights. You having respect for others just because they are also human beings doesn’t mean they’ll have less respect for you; it’s not a “respect pie” where if they get more, you’ll get less. In essence, be respectful, always.

maddie papcun

False, that is common courtesy clearly the author needs to educate themselves a little more.

True clearly guy entitled middle class brats had mommy daddy hand them everything thus become spoiled entitled rich brat

When I say respect is earned, I mean things above “hi” and calling someone’s name. Those are closer to human decency in my opinion. When I say respect is earned, it’s because as far as I’m concerned, others can lose that respect. If I went to a class for instance, I would say hi to the teacher, listen to what they have to say, if I disagree I wouldn’t just say they’re wrong if I intervene at all. But if one day I went to that class and, extreme example, the teacher slapped me in the face, I don’t think I would say hi to that teacher anymore. I won’t start calling them Kevin if their name is David, but I think saying hi to them will be hard, if only for a while. I probably won’t smile at them again, and I will not engage in small talk with them. It could be smaller things that make me feel disrespected, not a slap in the face, and the end result could be the same. Asking the teacher how they are if you know they’ll start insulting you somewhere in their answer just because some people might call you disrespectful, haughty, cruel, entitled, or other things, only shows a leck of self respect.

Thank you for the article, it really helped affirm something for me, because someone who I’ve had serious issues with respecting me and treating me right just said to me the other day the “respect is earned, not given,” word for word what you said in your article. I believe that loyalty must be earned, (I don’t believe in “blind loyalty), but I don’t believe that basic human respect and courtesy should be earned. The person in question is constantly telling me how much better he is than me and how he does so much more than I do and he expects more from me. Frankly I’m sick and tired of being disrespected, and this is one of the main reasons I no longer want to work for this person because we definitely are not equals in his view, he has a huge superiority complex. Thank you so much for clearing this up for me.

Respect is a highly overused word. Respect is not something you show. It is something you feel. A personal feeling of admiration for someone’s achievements, behaviour , integrity etc. Courtesy or politeness on the other hand, can and should be shown to almost everyone.

This is the first article I’ve read that actually acknowledges “respect” true to definition in etymology. Bravo 👏

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Respect, Pluralism, and Justice: Kantian Perspectives

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4 Must Respect Be Earned?

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Published: March 2000
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Addresses the questions, why should we respect humanity in all persons? and why not regard extremely immoral persons as having forfeited all respect? Respect for persons as persons is distinguished from respect for personal merit and conventional roles, but that someone is a person is not sufficient to explain why we must respect the person. The essay sketches some Kantian grounds, formal and substantive, for presuming that all human beings ought to be respected, and then addresses several objections. For example, should we respect sociopaths? The Kantian legislative perspective sketched earlier suggests reasons for a strong presumption for treating basic respect for humanity as non‐forfeitable, and arguably neither self‐protection, just punishment, nor legitimate moral censure require that we set aside the presumption.

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Respect, should it be earned or given? Why?

IMAGES

50 Famous Respect is Earned Quotes 2022
Earned Not Given Quote / Respect Is A Lot Like Trust It S Earned Not
Respect Is Earned Not Given Essay / The 50 Best Quotes On Respect In
Short Quote Respect is Earned Not Given Graphic by Blue Ocean
Respect Is Earned Essay Paper Example (500 Words)
Respect Is Something You Earned, It's Never Given

COMMENTS

Respect is earned, not given
Opinion. Respect is earned, not given. Know your worth and know who's worth your respect. We've been taught since a young age that we should respect everyone, especially those who are different from us. We've been taught in school to respect our teachers, our peers, and our elders. We've been taught by our family to do the same, in all ...
Respect is Earned Not Given: A Comprehensive Guide to ...
The phrase "Respect Is Earned Not Given" encapsulates the notion that respect is not a right, but rather a privilege granted based on one's conduct and character. This principle acknowledges that ...
Respect is a Dangerous Word. And why is should not be earned.
To respect is to admire. Someone did something good (probably a bunch of times) so we collectively give her a big ol' thumbs up. And while that usage does still happen, it seems more common to ...
Why Respect is Earned, Not Given: Unveiling the True Definition of
Earning respect through your actions means demonstrating qualities and achievements that inspire admiration and esteem from others. For instance, showing kindness, being reliable, and displaying expertise in specific areas can foster respect among those around you. Remember that genuine respect cannot be demanded, bought, or simply expected ...
7 Reasons Why Respect is Earned, Not Given is Up for Debate!
Either way, let's plunge into this complex web and untangle the intricate facets of why "respect is earned, not given" is far from a one-size-fits-all statement. 1. The Role of Authority: When Respect is Assumed. Now, let's begin by examining the role authority plays in the notion that "respect is earned, not given."
Respect Is Earned Essay Paper Example (500 Words)
Respect Is Earned. Respect is something that must be earned and in return the same will be give n to you. An individual should not just automatically be given respect because of who they are, what they wear, how old they are or even by their status in society. Call me crazy but rest peck is gained through trust and experience with a person and ...
Essay About Respect
In Retrospect About Respect Respect is earned, not given. Some people earn their respect and fully deserve it, like the boss who worked their way up the company ladder, or a brave general who fought to gain their medals of honor, even the hard working, dedicated teacher who works overtime has earned the respect from their students and peers.
Importance Of Respect For Others: [Essay Example], 645 words
In modern times, respect for diversity and individual rights has become increasingly important in promoting equality and social justice. The topic of respect for others has sparked debates on issues such as freedom of speech, tolerance, and cultural sensitivity. Some argue that respect should be earned, while others believe that respect should ...
Respect Is In Fact Given, Not Earned
All civilized justice systems are based on the notion of "innocent until proven guilty", and the same principle should be applied to respect. If you want to live in a world where you are treated with respect by default, then you should start by acting that way yourself. That is why I urge you to stop saying "respect is earned, not given ...
Earned, Not Given: A Guide to Cultivating Respect from Others
Give your full attention when others speak, show genuine interest, and respond thoughtfully. This not only demonstrates respect for their perspective but also fosters meaningful communication. 3.
Why Respect Is Earned Not Given
Respect is something that everyone wants to receive from others and that others want to give. For some people, earning it can be challenging because it requires a certain amount of effort. But in reality, respect cannot be bought or given for free; instead, it must be earned through one's behavior toward others. Contents show.
Ten Ways You Can Earn More Respect Without Ever Having To Ask ...
Many people do not give true respect until they feel a reason to. Which means that you can stand out. If you wait around for people to respect you before you give them respect, you'll be waiting ...
Respect is something that must be earned
Leadership. However, respect is something that we choose to give. People who are respected tend to behave in a manner worthy of how they are being treated. Obviously, that is not universal, but it is common enough to be worth noting. If you want people to behave well and treat others around you with kindness and gentleness, then treat them well.
Earning Respect
True respect, according to dictionary.com, is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. So you could respect someone just ...
The Importance of Respect for Us: [Essay Example], 950 words
Respect is not just to a person, it can be just something in general. Once it is to or for a person, than yes, it can be destroyed of that person. Real Respect is an attitude. It supercedes the person, and gives way to the total. Real Respect is a state in which you do not defile anyone or anything for your sake.
Respect shouldn't be earned but instead should be given
The majority of the time people in positions of power (for example teachers, parents, government officials sometimes) will demand respect is because there are the 2 kinds of respect: 1.Respect as a person 2.Respect as an authority. People who are usually saying respect should be given mean "if you dont respect me as an authority figure I will ...
Not all respect needs to be earned
Respect needing to be earned does not apply to the smallest amount of human decency that should be present in your daily interactions with others. A lot of times, this "low-level" respect is also taught to us from a young age, in the form of manners or politeness. You say "excuse me" when you accidentally bump into someone.
Must Respect Be Earned?
Respect for persons as persons is distinguished from respect for personal merit and conventional roles, but that someone is a person is not sufficient to explain why we must respect the person. The essay sketches some Kantian grounds, formal and substantive, for presuming that all human beings ought to be respected, and then addresses several ...
Respect Should Always Be Given, Not Earned. : r/unpopularopinion
People who say "respect should be earned, not given" don't refer to basic respect. That's standard. What they mean is special respect. For example, many kids are thought "respect your elders" which ends up manifesting in the form of having to tolerate anything from them and always letting them have the final say, because they were born a few decades before you.
Respect should not be earned, it should be given to everyone ...
I think respect should be given to everyone just as respect should be recieved from everyone, respecting peoples personal space, boundaries, needs... etc. That is right until they prove themselves aboslute swear word people who is undeserving of respect. So respect people till they prove undeserving, not only after they prove deserving. Edit:
How do you feel about the phrase "respect is earned, not given?"
This type of "respect" also implies implicit obedience, under threat of harm. So when people say "respect is earned, not given", what they're saying is "you want obedience, but you don't want to behave admirably." This statement is reminding the speaker that they're attempting "Subjugation / Obedience" when they should be striving for "Admiration."
Often hear that Respect is earned, but Respect should be given until
So for that old saying we hear people say that Respect must be earned, but really everything should be respected until we are given a reason not to. Whether it be with meeting people or a new environment. Respect should be given and once someone gives you a reason not to, that is when it should be taken away.
Respect, should it be earned or given? Why? : r/AskReddit
If you mean respect someone as a human being, it should be given. Respect as an authority should be earned. Reply. [deleted] •. Respect should be given, trust should be earned. If you go around disrespecting and looking down on people you just met you're gonna have problems. Trust is what needs to be earned.