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How Much Do You Give for a Wedding Gift?

Are you thinking of giving money as a wedding gift, but you’re not sure of the acceptable amount to give, or what wedding cash gift etiquette really is?

Today we’re tackling it and explaining exactly the appropriate wedding gift amount 2024 seems to average, as well as, is money an acceptable wedding gift?

According to wedding experts, there are different amounts suggested based on your relationship with the couple. A distant relative, colleague, or non-close friend should give $50 to $75 upwards to $100. A family member or a friend should give $100 to $150 as a gift. If you’re a close relative, a starting amount of $150 as a cash gift and going upwards is a great starting point.

The important factor to consider when giving a cash wedding gift is your relationship to the couple.

For an in-depth discussion on this topic, let’s discuss it!

How much do you give for a wedding gift?

As a rule of thumb, if you’re giving a gift from the registry, start with a gift of no less than $50 and go upwards from there.

If you’re giving money as a wedding gift, we recommend $75 to $150, upwards of $300. We’re covering this more in-depth in this article, but if you’re just skimming, those are the basics. :)

We’re here to tackle all of this — and more — on how much to give for a cash wedding gift. This question came to us from Katie, who writes,

“Dear Emmaline, I’m invited to a cousin’s wedding and I want to give cash as a wedding gift because I know they can use it on anything they wish. Is it tacky to give money for a wedding gift? If it is acceptable, how much money should I give for a wedding gift of cash? Thanks for your help!”

Ahhh, great questions here, Katie! Thanks for writing. First and foremost, cash is a completely acceptable wedding gift! How much to give as an appropriate cash wedding gift varies, and we’ll tackle that in a moment. But know this: money consistently makes for a nice and thoughtful gift for a wedding and no, it definitely is NOT tacky to give money as a wedding present.

The proper answer on how to give money as a gift is all about presentation, giving an appropriate amount, and whether or not you think it makes a good gift for the particular couple in mind.

Does Money Make a Good Wedding Gift?

Yes, cash is a great gift for a wedding!

You mentioned how money as a wedding gift is a good idea because they can use it on anything they wish; I couldn’t agree more! Instead of a wedding registry item that they may not necessarily use often, money is a great way to start their lives together, go on a fun honeymoon trip, or use it in any way they deem a priority.

In fact, many couples prefer cash as a wedding gift vs. a tangible gift. It can go towards anything they dream of. And coffee makers don’t last forever. Honestly, I think we’re on our third already. :)

With that being said, there are some proper tips on how to give money as a wedding gift and we’re here to help. Here’s exactly how to give money as a wedding gift to a couple and what you need to know BEFORE you fill out that card.

How much to give for a wedding gift 2023 + 2024

If you’re wondering about the average amount to spend on a wedding gift in 2023 or 2024, here’s the answer. For a wedding gift amount, most couples give anywhere from $75 to $300, give or take, depending on the formality of the wedding, closeness in relationship to the couple, and the formality of the wedding.

Is $300 a good wedding gift?

Yes, that amount is a very nice amount of money to give at a wedding.

Is $200 a good wedding gift?

Yes! Don’t overthink it. Give a nice gift of money you know the couple will appreciate (and you can afford).

How to Give Money as Wedding Gift

1. give the proper amount..

You were wondering how much money to give as cash wedding gift this year, and for 2023, it seems the norm is anywhere from $75 to $300 — more or less, depending on what you can reasonably afford. If the wedding is very formal, consider giving a larger gift of cash if you can afford it.

Typically speaking and etiquette-wise, a nice wedding gift of cash is anywhere in the sum range of $75 and upwards. Some things to consider are:

• How close are you to the couple?

Most times, a money wedding gift is larger if you’re close to the couple, i.e. the couple is a sibling, best friend, or a family member.

• How formal is the wedding?

• Are you standing up in the wedding?

If you’re a bridesmaid or groomsman, the standard amount to spend on a wedding cash gift is $100 and upwards. Take into account how much you’ve spent on your dress or suit, how much you’ve given for the bachelorette party and/or bridal shower, and how much travel is required. It is still a nice gesture to give a gift to the couple as an attendant, so start at the $100 mark and go upwards from there.

• Is there a lot of travel involved?

How much to give for a wedding gift cash 2023

Each year, the typical amount varies just a bit, but to be honest, the amount for how much to give for a wedding gift cash 2023 vs. 2024 isn’t much different! We’re seeing the same general amount to give for a wedding gift of cash: anywhere within the $75 to $200 range is the norm. On average, most wedding guests give a gift of around $150 to $160 as a wedding present.

According to etiquette experts, though, the minimum amount is around $75. Start there and go upwards depending on what you’re comfortable with (and what you can afford).

2. Include the cash inside a card.

Do not give money as a wedding gift without a proper card. You will want to enclose the cash or check inside a nice card with a sweet sentiment on it; include a handwritten, thoughtful message from you and sign it, so the couple knows who the gift is from.

In addition, you’ll place the card inside a card box at the reception so make sure it is placed there upon arrival.

If you’re in need of card inspiration, here are some cute wedding cards we found that make for the perfect places to include your wedding gift of money.

Papercut Wedding Card for Money Gift by PaddingPaws

Funny Wedding Card by PrintsAndRecreation

Origami Minimalist Wedding Card for Cash Gift by OrigamiRetreat

Congrats on Tying the Knot by PaperConnectionsDemi

This one is so cute!

Here’s another fun way to enclose money inside a card:

3. The Easy Wedding Cash Gift Equation

If you’re still stuck, do this: figure out an estimate of how much the wedding meal cost (plus your guest’s). Then, add a little more for a present. This is a nice gesture and a simple way to give an appropriate wedding gift amount.

Emma Arendoski

Emma is the CEO of Emmaline Bride, The Handmade Wedding Blog, published author, leading wedding expert, and wedding planner. Read her latest book: The Inspired Wedding . Wife, mother, coffee lover. Follow on Instagram and at Emmaline Baby for baby + kids inspiration.

What if you are not going to attend the wedding? How much is an appropriate amount? TY

Hi Lori! It depends on how well you know the couple and whether you’re related. A family member or a friend’s gift may be in the range of $100 to $150, but if not attending you can go with the lower amount as you won’t be having a plate at the wedding, taking home a party favor, frequenting the bar, etc. Use your best judgment. What a thoughtful gesture to give a gift even when you are not attending the celebration!

Let me know if you have any additional questions. I hope it helps!

Comments are closed.

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In This Article

• The Expert Opinion
• What's the Expected Amount for a Wedding Gift?
• Is Cash OK?
• How Much A Wedding Gift Should Cost
• What To Do If I'm Not Attending
• Wedding Gift Check Etiquette

How Long To Give A Gift After The Wedding?

Alternative wedding gift ideas, tips for determining your budget on a wedding gift.

• Real People Experience
• Wedding Planning

How Much To Spend on a Wedding Gift: Main Tips, Rules & Real Advice

Determining how much to spend on a wedding gift without breaking any wedding gift etiquette is a sensitive affair.

The average wedding gift amount 2024 guests will spent on gifts will be about $100-$140 per person. This is owing to the many pre-wedding festivities, associated expenses, and a long list of wedding gift ideas. Here, we will tell you the average wedding gift cost, gift etiquette, and how much to spend on gifts per wedding situation.

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Frequently Asked Questions

How much should i spend on a wedding gift in 2024.

On average, guests in 2024 will be spending around $100-$140 per person on a wedding gift. When considering an appropriate amount to spend on the wedding gift, the main factors are your relationship with the couple, how fancy is the reception, and how many pre-wedding activities are you invited to. Read our tips below to see if you need to adjust your gift budget higher or lower.

Do you give money at a wedding?

The world is dynamic, and so are people. A lot of couples live together these days before marriage and have their houses well stocked. Others want to bag pack and travel the world, so they don’t need gifts. Some couples do not even create a registry but make available cash payment methods.

How much to give for a wedding gift cash 2023?

In 2023, a typical cash wedding gift ranges from $50 to $200, depending on your relationship with the couple and your personal budget.

How Much To Spend On A Wedding Gift: The Expert Opinion

Infographic.

In the words of wedding etiquette expert, Diane Gottsman , wedding gifts are neither mandatory nor costs set in stone, but a show of support to the couple. She opines that how much you spend on a wedding should depend mainly on your budget and relationships with the couple. Other factors to note are how much of the wedding expenses are covered by the couple and your role in the wedding.

As such, research by NerdWallet shows that the average gift amount is about $151 and guests are willing to spend up to $350 per situation. From buying bridal shower gifts to wedding proper, people are willing to spend more.

The RetailMeNot poll shows that an American will spend an average of $140 on wedding gifts.

41% believe that gifts are mandatory for weddings. 37% believe that even if you got them something before the wedding, say bachelor party gifts , you should still get them a wedding gift.

Now, for every amount featured, you are to double if you have extras tagging along (this is very optional). Again, these amounts are only calculated per adult head, no kids.

What’s the Expected Amount for a Wedding Gift?

How much money do you give at a wedding.

How much to give at weddings is always a source of debate amongst wedding guests. Well, how much money you should give at a wedding depends on your relationship and your attendance status. But the minimum check that’s allowed is $50. Don’t go below it.

For a colleague or acquaintance, $50 to $75 is acceptable. You can work within that range at your discretion. For a family or someone close to you, $75 to $100 and even as high as $150 is perfect. Then if you’re going as a couple, it’s routine to double the amount or keep it at $200.

How Much To Spend On Wedding Gift If I Am Invited To A Luxury Wedding?

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What to give as a wedding gift or how much to spend should not be decided by the class of the wedding. The appropriate wedding gift amount remains the same whether you’re attending a wedding in a park or a grand castle. Do not turn down invites or feel pressured by an exotic ambiance, the pedigree of the couple, or 5-course meals.

Avoid straining your budget to buy a befitting gift. Your wedding gift cost is absolute on your relationship with the couple. They chose to have a luxury wedding and that’s not your problem.

Can We Give A Group Wedding Gift?

A group wedding gift is ideal if all the ideas for wedding registry the couple comes up with is bigger than your budget. You may also have your eyes on something specifically pricey for the couple but are not buoyant enough. This is where you join forces with either close friends or family. It is even better if you are part of the bridal party. You will present something huge as a group.

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This is a means to get more and save more. Buying a wedding gift as a group saves you from spending as much if you bought it independently.

How Much To Give For A Wedding If There’s An Engagement Party Too?

How much to give for a wedding is synonymous with your availability for the wedding. It is well-advised that you split your budget for the wedding gift into 25% / 75%. 25% on engagement gifts and the remaining 75% on gifts for the main wedding. Something like wine, a box of chocolates or a box of cupcakes will do.

If you will not be available for the main wedding and the couple means a lot to you, follow Diane Gottsman’s principle. Browse through their engagement gift ideas and pick something that’s equivalent to the amount you would spend on a wedding gift.

Should I increase the amount of my wedding gift if I have a plus one?

Yes, if you have a plus one, consider increasing the wedding gift amount by $25 to $50 to reflect the additional guest.

Do I have to buy a shower gift and a wedding gift?

If you’re wondering how much to give for a wedding gift, you generally don’t have to buy both a shower gift and a wedding gift. You can choose to give one thoughtful gift, and if you’re attending both events, you might adjust the amount based on your budget.

Can I Give Wedding Gifts That Aren’t On The Registry?

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About-to-wed couples come up with wedding registry ideas that suit their needs, fit their lifestyle, and are valuable to them. If these registry items are out of your budget range, you can still choose a wedding gift that is not on the registry. However, how much to spend on a wedding gift should align with the couple’s preferences, ensuring that the gift is meaningful and useful to them.

If you have a very close relationship, you will know their tastes and the things they would love. If you’re absolutely certain, you can buy them something not on the registry and it will be a hit!

Can I Give Cash As A Wedding Gift?

Yes, you can! The world is dynamic, so are people. A lot of couples live together these days before marriage and have their houses well stocked. Others want to bag pack and travel the world, so they don’t need gifts. Some couples do not even create a registry but make available cash payment methods.

So yes, you can pay cash and it is very convenient. The best is if you’re paying directly into an account or towards a cause like honeymoon packages. Do well to send it in before the wedding.

Tips To Know How Much A Wedding Gift Should Cost

The amount to spend on a wedding gift can vary based on several factors, including your relationship with the couple, your budget, local customs, and the location of the wedding. While there’s no fixed rule, here are some general guidelines:

• Consider Your Relationship: The closer you are to the couple, the more you might consider spending. Close friends and family members often give more substantial gifts than acquaintances.
• Cover Your Plate: Some suggest that your gift’s value should at least cover the cost of your attendance at the wedding. This could include factors like the cost of your meal, travel, and accommodations.
• Average Range: On average, guests often spend around $50 to $150 on a wedding gift. However, this can vary widely based on individual circumstances.
• Group Gifts: If you’re part of a group gift, you might contribute a larger amount collectively.
• Registry Guidance: Wedding registries can provide insight into the couple’s preferences and needs. You can choose a gift within your budget from the registry.
• Personalized Gifts: If you have a special talent or skill, consider giving a personalized gift that holds sentimental value.

Remember, the most important thing is the thought and effort you put into the gift. It’s the sentiment behind the gesture that truly matters. If you’re uncertain, you could also consider giving a heartfelt card along with a smaller token gift. Always consider your own financial situation and what feels comfortable for you.

Do I Have To Buy A Gift For A Destination Wedding?

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A destination wedding is not a cheap one, so, much is not expected on the part of gifts. We believe that the best gifts the couple can get are the presence of the guests because they made huge sacrifices. After heavy travel logistics and some cash to get by, gifts are not necessary. But if you feel up to it, go right ahead!

How Much To Spend On A Wedding Gift If I Am Not Attending?

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What to give for a wedding gift if not attending depends on your relationship with the couple. How much to give for a wedding gift is dependent on your financial disposition per time. If you have a personal relationship with the couple and can’t make it, send a healthy gift.

If you feel you were a last-minute guest consideration to a couple you aren’t close to, send a handwritten congratulations. This may be through the RSVP. You are also saved from spending as much as you would have spent if present. A gift between $30 – $40 will do.

Wedding Gift Check Etiquette: How To Send?

chelseawhitephotog

How to appropriately send a wedding gift in the form of a check is by addressing it to either the husband or wife. This will enable them to cash it, instead of getting a bounce at the bank due to a conflict in account details. If you have the urge to add a complimentary message, then pen it down in the part of the check allocated to comments.

It is very wrong to address a joint check to newlyweds using their new surname. That is an assumption on your part as you don’t know if they will retain their individual names.

The honest fact is that the earlier you can send a new couple your gift, the better. It is more interesting opening gifts while the wedding glow and rush are still present. But do not put yourself under any kind of pressure. If you are not financially or emotionally up to the task of getting a gift during the wedding, rest easy. You have up to one year after the wedding to send in your gifts. Do it at your own convenience and who knows? It may be a pleasant surprise to the couple.

rebel.reflect via Instagram

Experiential Gifts

Instead of asking how much to give for a wedding gift, consider offering experiences. This might include tickets to an event, a class or workshop they would enjoy, or a weekend getaway. You can also choose memberships or subscriptions that align with their interests.

Charitable Donations

Another thoughtful option is to donate to a charity in the couple’s name. This can be a meaningful alternative to traditional gifts and can be a great way to honor the couple’s values. Provide a certificate or card to let them know about the donation made in their honor.

• Let your heart guide your generosity: Think about the love and connection you share with the couple. Allow your emotional bond to inspire the extent of your gift, showing them just how much they mean to you.
• Craft a gift that reflects their journey: Consider the couple’s unique story and passions. Create a gift that embodies their journey together or supports their future endeavors. Your personal touch will make the gift all the more meaningful.
• Strike a harmony between love and practicality: While weddings are special, it’s important to remain mindful of your own financial situation. Seek out a gift that beautifully balances the couple’s desires and your budget, ensuring your gesture is both heartfelt and practical.

Remember, the value of a gift lies not in its price tag, but in the love and thoughtfulness behind it. Trust your instincts and choose a gift that resonates with your connection to the couple, making your gesture truly unforgettable.

How Much To Spend On Wedding Gift: Real People Talk

martinaskrobotphotography

As much as the experts know, it will be nice to hear real people who have had actual experiences talk. Many of them consider the cost of gifts based on their closeness to the couple and some match whatever they were gifted at theirs. Others think the luxury of the wedding should count, while a few prefer donating cash or paying towards a cause. Testimonials from real people:

• Miki , a 34-year-old female who has helped plan weddings for lots of people is sympathetic to the plight of couples. She says wedding expenses are not cheap and everyone should give at least $100 for wedding gifts. Give from $200 or above if you come with a plus one. She, on the other hand, says she has given up to $500 to her close friends.
• Jess who is 27 years old says that she will give more towards wedding gifts if the wedding is a luxurious one.

“ $200-$250 . But in certain cases, depending on how long I’ve known the person and how many other weddings or big events I have that season, I will give more. I usually give on the higher end if it’s at a really swanky place, but in most cases, the parents are helping out, so I don’t feel as bad about not covering plates for me and my fiancé”.

• Meg , 31 years old is one who matches every gift she gets with an equal gift. She says she wrote on cards, how much each guest gifted her at her wedding and she gifts exactly that back to them. This way, she says the average they spend on wedding gifts is $50-$75 per person, which also depends on how posh the place is.
• Christina who is 28 years says that she would rather give cash or pay towards a cause/experience than buy a gift. She says it makes her feel better because cash experience will neither wear out like down comforters nor break like chinaware. She will give $50 – $100 in cash, towards a honeymoon trip or posh restaurant meals vouchers instead.

All the rules on how much to spend on a wedding gift mentioned above are thoughts from experts. We have also put down valuable information that you can use through the narratives of real wedding guests. So, you will be well informed through this post of every wedding gift etiquette to observe. From how much to spend on a gift per situation to how late your gifts can be delivered to the couple. Thus, you will ease yourself of pressure, gift right, save more, and maintain a healthy relationship with the happy couple!

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How Much to Spend on a Wedding Gift, According to Experts

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Wondering how much to spend on a wedding gift? It’s a fair question—as wedding invites start to pile up, dollar signs might also start to flash. The idea of having to spring for flights, hotels, bridesmaid dresses, and then—on top of everything—a wedding present for each occasion can become a serious source of stress for wedding guests. (It doesn’t help that wedding gifts often conjure up images of, well, a lot of expensive things: porcelain china, polished silverware, and linens with a thread count you didn’t even know was possible.)

Complicating matters more is the seeming lack of concrete wedding gift etiquette. Questions, like how much to give for a wedding gift, start to come up. When do you buy the gift? Can you buy gifts outside the registry ? Is giving cash gauche? What is the right wedding gift amount?

Here, answers to these questions and more, with expert insights from Kylie Carlson, the CEO of the International Academy of Wedding & Event Planning , Alison Cheperdak, founder of Elevate Etiquette , Zola , and Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette by Anna and Lizzie Post.

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1. How much should I spend on a wedding gift?

According to Zola, the average person spends 50 to 100 dollars on a wedding gift. They suggest the following breakdown: coworkers or distant relatives should spend 50 to 75 dollars. Friends or relatives, 75 to 100 dollars. For close friends, family members, or if you're in the wedding party, you should spend 100 to 150 dollars—or more. 

If everything left on the registry is over your budget of 50 to 75 dollars, it’s a good idea to get the couple a gift card to one of the stores where they registered. 

However, remember these are just guidelines. “There is no minimum (or maximum) amount guests should spend,” writes Emily Post.

2. Is it okay to give a group gift?

If the only items left on the registry are well over your budget or you really want to gift the couple a big-ticket item you know they’ll love, join forces with a group of friends. And for bridesmaids and groomsmen who have already spent quite a bit of money on the bridesmaid dress, bachelor party, and shower, this is a particularly wise way to gift—the couple will receive a thoughtful big-ticket present from the wedding party, and each person can usually get away with spending a bit less individually.

Meanwhile, families still living together at home, couples, or guests with plus-ones can give joint gifts.

3. Should I give a wedding gift that matches the price per head?

"The formality of the wedding impacts a number of elements, including time of day and dress , but there is no tie into the cost of the gift. What you gift the couple should be exclusively dependent on your relationship to the happy couple, as well as your own means. No guest should feel as though they need to overextend themselves with the gift because they are expected to wear black tie," says Carlson.

Similarly, just because your best friend had a 10-person wedding in their backyard doesn’t mean you should give them an inexpensive gift. Also, if you happen to be attending multiple events for the couple, consider this as well: you can use the 60-20-20 rule, which means spending 20 percent of your total budget on an engagement party gift, 20 percent on a gift for the bridal shower, and 60 percent for the actual wedding gift.

4. Is it okay to give cash as a wedding gift?

Cash gifts are perfectly acceptable, according to Emily Post . In fact, as most millennials are getting married later in life and already have well-stocked homes, they prefer cash to put toward savings or a honeymoon over registry items.

If you are giving cash (or a check), send it ahead of time rather than bringing it to the wedding—it’s too easy for things to get misplaced in the chaos of the day. Some couples may even register for cash to go directly into their bank accounts, which allows guests to give money virtually, along with a sentimental note they can personally write on a digital card.

For a more modern take, or even for those Gen Z weddings, some guests have ventured into using payment options like Zelle or Venmo to send money. Cash wedding gifts can sometimes be a security risk, according to Cheperdak. “I recommend also giving a note, then mentioning in your wedding card that you sent them a little something so that you can make sure it’s received,” she says. 

5. Do I have to buy a wedding gift for a destination wedding?

“While there are no hard and fast rules, there is a general understanding that their presence at the wedding can absolutely be their gift. You have to remember that your guests are presumably taking time off from work and arranging childcare, so they’ve already invested quite a bit. With that being said, if an attendee chooses to gift them in addition to being there, then that’s absolutely fine,” says Carlson. Emily Post concurs: “As the costs of attending destination weddings are often higher, it’s gracious of the couple to spread the word that ‘your presence is a present,’” they write. 

If you do want to get them a wedding gift but you’re strapped for cash right after spending on the flights and hotels, you can always wait until later (six months to a year) to get them a wedding gift. Whatever the timing, they’ll always appreciate it.

6. Should I buy a gift if I can’t attend the wedding?

“Guests invited to a wedding ceremony, whether or not they can attend, should send or bring a gift,” writes Emily Post.  For those invited to just the reception, it is optional. 

However, for those RSVPing “no,” feel free to spend less than you might spend if you were attending—that $30 wine opener is still a lovely token of congratulations that the couple will surely appreciate.

7. Should my wedding gift amount increase if I have a plus one?

There’s no rule in the wedding gift etiquette handbook that would suggest your wedding gift amount go up if you bring a date. "While it may make sense to spend a bit more because you are bringing two mouths to feed, there is no expectation that you need to do so," says Carlson. Zola’s guidelines suggest spending one-and-a-half to two times more on the gift.

8. How long do I have after the wedding to get the couple a wedding gift?

Traditionally, you have up to one year to get the couple a wedding gift. That being said, etiquette experts agree that the sooner you can give the gift the better. Everyone wants to unwrap their wedding gifts when they’re still radiating with that newlywed glow.

9. How do I address a check to the couple?

If you plan on giving a check to the happy couple, make sure you avoid writing their new surname in the “to” field. It may seem counterintuitive after having just watched them tie the knot, but when it comes to cashing checks after the big day, the bank will sometimes not accept checks that don’t have the registered account name. To be safe, it’s best to write the check out to one person and write a happy note in the memo field.

10. Should I ship a gift directly or bring it to the wedding?

“The preferred method for gifting is to send it to the couple’s home, versus bringing it with you on the wedding day,” says Carlson. “There are just so many things to keep track of the day of the event, that it’s appreciated if you can make it a bit easier on the newlyweds. Luckily, it’s practically a given that you’ll be able to ship your gift with relative ease thanks to registries.” This is especially important with destination weddings, as that gives the couple the logistical headache of shipping it back home. (Plus, you won’t need to pack it either.)

Bringing a physical gift to the wedding is typically reserved when someone goes off the registry to purchase a wedding gift. When in doubt, follow the instructions on the registry website and avoid the headache of wrapping the present yourself!

11. Is it okay to buy gifts that aren’t on the wedding registry?

Gifting items that aren’t included on the registry isn’t a violation of wedding gift etiquette. Emily Post says that the choice of what to buy or give is always up to the guest, even if the couple has a registry.

If, however, you choose an off-registry item, make sure it’s something you know they will absolutely love. “A couple has taken the time to select items that they need, so it makes perfect sense the majority of the time to simply fall in line with their wishes,” says Carlson. “With that being said, if you are close to the couple and are 100 percent sure that your off-registry item fits the bill, then by all means, do it.”

12. Do I have to buy a shower gift and a wedding gift?

If you attend the bridal shower and the wedding, you are expected to buy a separate gift for each event. The Knot suggests an attendee should spend between 50 to 75 dollars on a shower gift. (However, if you also got the couple an engagement gift, the 20-20-60 rule can also apply—so your shower gift should cost 20 percent of your total budget.)

For those who are invited but are not able to attend the bridal shower, sending a gift is optional: “If a guest cannot attend the shower, he or she may send a gift but is not obligated to do so,” writes Emily Post.

To jump-start your search, here are a few ideas to consider based on various wedding gift amounts.

13. Is it ever appropriate to ask the bride or groom how much money I should give as a wedding gift?

You’re not always going to be familiar with a bride or groom’s wedding customs, especially if it’s not the traditional American wedding you may be used to. According to Cheperdak, it's important to respectfully acknowledge that there may be some gaps in your knowledge about their cultural background. “You want to be really warm about your intentions,” she tells Vogue. She also suggests asking for resources to better understand their customs. “That way you’re not putting a burden on the couple. It’s being gracious in that you’re acknowledging they might have a lot of responsibilities outside of educating you on their cultural norms,” she says.

14. Are there things I can do in place of a gift?

Tight gift-giving budget? It’s time to get creative. Cheperdak suggests exploring more sentimental options, whether it’s a framed picture or a book. She recommends giving something if your financial situation allows it, even if it’s small. But in some cases, you can offer extra hands to help make sure the ceremony runs smoothly, whether you serve as a wedding photographer or a makeup and hair stylist for the bride. “Gifts are about showing how much the couple means to you, and it’s about so much more than money,” says Cheperdak. But if your services are politely declined by the couple, be sure to accept that graciously rather than insisting on helping them.

15. How do I check in on the gift I sent?

Whether the newly married couple has a lot of traveling on their itinerary after their nuptials or you just haven’t received a thank you card yet, you might want to reach out and gently check if your gift was delivered. Cheperdak notes that it’s alright to send a text along the lines of, “I just want to make sure that you received this. If you didn’t for any reason, let me know and I’ll see to it that it’s corrected,” with some added personal flair. You can also ensure the package has a tracking number so you can make sure it arrived safely.

16. Should I contribute to the couple’s honeymoon fund?

This fund is set up for wedding guests to help financially contribute to the couple’s honeymoon activities, from the plane ride to hotel stay. Although it’s still sometimes considered controversial, especially among older generations, a honeymoon fund is a great way to contribute to a couple’s post-wedding adventures. As a guest, it’s also considerate to donate to specific honeymoon experiences, like dinner on the first night or a couple’s massage, says Cheperdak.

17. What if the couple separates before I get them a gift?

Although it’s incredibly rare for the couple to separate within a year of marriage, it does happen on occasion. In the case that you weren’t able to send a check or present within the time frame of their marriage, it’s best not to send one at that point, says Cheperdak. “One of the most painful things can be the tangible items they have and figuring out what to do with them.”

More Great Wedding Stories in Vogue

Inside Alex Cooper and Matt Kaplan’s Intimate Beachside Wedding in Riviera Maya

Inside Yellowstone’s Ryan Bingham and Hassie Harrison’s Western Wedding at the Bride’s Family Home in Texas

The Scoop on Hailey Bieber’s New Million-Dollar Engagement Ring

Can You Throw a Wedding for Under $10,000?

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• Lifestyle , Tools

Cash Wedding Gift Calculator – How Much To Give

Written by James Beckett

• Updated January 29, 2024

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At Money Stocker we strive to help you make smarter financial decisions. All of our content is completely impartial. Some of the links to our partners may earn us a commission, which helps us to keep the site running.

Are you struggling to decide on how much cash to give as a wedding gift? We’ve got you covered.

The below calculator considers four key factors:

• Your level of income.
• Your relationship to the bride and groom.
• Whether you are attending or not.
• Your number of plus one’s/family members in your party.

Average cash wedding gifts

If you want to skip the calculating and need a ballpark figure, here are some averages to consider:

Low income / Individual

If you’re young, on a low income, or without a plus-one with whom you can split the cost, here’s the range:

• Casual friends/coworkers: $0-25
• Mid-tier friends & distant family: $25-50
• Close friends & extended family: $50-75
• Best friends & siblings: $75-100

Average income / couple

The average person or couple may want to consider gifts in the following range:

• Casual friends/coworkers: $50-100
• Mid-tier friends & distant family: $100-150
• Close friends & extended family: $150-250
• Best friends & siblings: $250-500

High income

There’s no obligation to give more because you have more. But if you’re feeling generous, and perhaps feel obliged, here are the ranges:

• Casual friends/coworkers: $200-300
• Mid-tier friends & distant family: $300-500
• Close friends & extended family: $500-1000
• Best friends & siblings: $1000+

Tax implications of wedding gifts

Luckily, the IRS considers wedding gifts to be tax-free.

However, if the gift is over $18,000 (or $36,000 for a couple), it may be subject to gift tax. The person giving the gift is responsible for the tax in this situation.

Cash gift considerations

Weddings are expensive.

Close to half of Americans go into debt to tie the knot ( Lending Tree , 2023).

That’s why a cash wedding gift is always best, providing the married-to-be do not have a wedding gift registry listing their preferred gifts.

Cash helps the happy couple get the best start to the rest of their lives – hopefully with as little debt as possible.

Cash is usually preferable to a check, just as a matter of convenience. However, if it is a particularly large amount that you do not wish to withdraw (and for it to potentially ‘go missing’) a check is fine.

Connection is key

What you can afford to give is an important consideration, there’s no doubt about it.

Don’t overextend yourself if you simply cannot afford it. If they are truly your friend or family member, they should understand.

But what really determines the amount you should aim to give is your connection to the bride, groom, or both.

For someone close to you, who you value dearly, and maybe has even supported you in your life, you may want to give a bigger gift. For someone you’ve grown apart from, it may be much less.

This is completely natural.

There is no set amount to give for each wedding. It is somewhat personal to you and the couple.

If you’re sure you want to give a bigger gift, it may require saving up (and starting early). More advice on this further below.

Paying your way

Sometimes it’s helpful to think of your gift as paying for your part of the wedding. Think about how much the food you are eating cost, the staff that are serving you cost, the placenames with your name engraved cost, and so on.

How much is it costing for the bride and groom to add you to their special day?

Whilst you cannot control how much they choose to pay (and you are not obliged to gift more because they spent more) it’s a useful mental exercise if you’re concerned that you’re not gifting enough.

Other things to consider

The calculator is a great guide, but don’t feel beholden to that number. There may be other factors that can vastly influence your number:

• Did you travel abroad for the wedding, or in some manner go far out of your way (to great expense)? This might reduce the amount of cash the bride and groom are expecting.
• Did the bride and groom support you financially during a difficult time? Have they been there for you in someway and you’ve never had a chance to properly repay them? Have they been stubborn at accepting your thanks? A wedding is a great opportunity to go out of your way in thanking them – they practically cannot refuse!
• Are you currently going through financially difficult times, through job loss or medical expenses, for example? Are the couple aware of your plight? In these cases, the couple may even be hoping that you don’t give them a big gift. A heartfelt card may be good enough.

How to save money on a wedding gift

Above, we mentioned that weddings are expensive. That’s not just for the bride and groom – it often is for the attendees too.

You may need to travel far to get to the wedding, you may need a hotel, a new outfit, and to buy drinks while there. That’s on top of giving the bride and groom a gift.

Here are some ways you can plan for & mitigate the cost.

Spread out the cost

Usually, you get plenty of notice for an upcoming wedding.

Consider getting accommodation booked as soon as possible (as this is possible to sell out and is usually cheaper in advance). Look at getting your outfits closer to the date (as you may shrink or expand, unfortunately!).

Planning ahead like this is clearly sensible from a pragmatic standpoint, but it has the added benefit of allowing you to spread the cost over a few months, or even years.

Start saving early

These events often seem far away, but they come around fast. As we say above, weddings are deceptively expensive for you, the attendee, as well as the happy couple.

Create a separate pot of money to budget for the wedding as soon as you can. You’ll be thankful that you did!

Check the registry early

If the bride and groom do have a gift registry, check it early to see if there are any ‘more affordable’ gifts you can snap up.

Check the average value of these gifts. It might give you an indication of how much they are expecting their guests to give, so that you can give the equivalent in cash.

Check the invite for guidance

Sometimes, the bride-and-groom-to-be will specify whether they are expecting physical gifts, cash gifts, or no gift at all.

If they request no gift, they are not doing this to be polite. You are perfectly fine to not give any gift at all.

You of course still can if you choose to, but there is absolutely no obligation.

Summary: Don’t overthink it

Most couples are happy that you are simply attending their wedding. Your presence is a present alone.

Give whatever feels right.

In all honesty, there will be so many cash gifts that they may have a hard time keeping track of who gave what. They’re more likely to remember a heartfelt message in a card.

Enjoy their big day, and don’t drink too much (Or do, I’m not your Dad)!

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Wedding gift etiquette: Cash is still king, but how much?

Maria Vasquez and Brendan Goldblatt, and their daughter Victoria, from New York, walk down the aisle after their wedding ceremony in New York's Empire State Building, Friday, Feb. 14, 2014. (AP / Richard Drew)

Between the engagement gifts, bridal showers, stag celebrations and bachelor parties, weddings can take quite the financial toll. And that's before the big day even arrives.

While registering for gifts remains a common practice, experts say cash is still king when it comes to wedding.

Wedding planner Lynzie Kent says a general rule is to give a gift that at least covers the cost of your reception dinner.

"It used to be $100 a head is kind of the going rate, but these days I think it's anywhere between $150 and $250 per person," Kent told CTVNews.ca.

Wedding planner Danielle Andrews Sunkel agreed that the "cover your plate" rule is a common rule-of-thumb when it comes to gift giving, but she said, ultimately it's up to the guests.

"It's been heard of mothers being at the wedding shower and whispering, 'You know the meal is going to cost $150 a plate,' so people get an idea of how much they're supposed to be giving," she said. "But there is no etiquette on that for giving a gift."

Andrews Sunkel said one of the most common questions she's asked is how much cash to give, and she believes it should be based on your relationship with the couple, and what you're comfortable with.

But when really pressed for a dollar figure, she said between $100 and $150 per person is appropriate.

A Weddingbells' 2014 reader survey pegged the cost of a wedding in Canada at nearly $31,700, including a honeymoon.

But Kent says, in pricier cities such as Toronto, the average cost ranges between $40,000 and $45,000 for a wedding with 150 guests.

Couples are also incorporating more into their wedding days, such as late-night food trucks, photo booths and even cigar-rolling stations - all of which add to the cost.

But it's not up to the guests to factor the wedding experience into their gift, experts say. And, while your relationship with the couple tends to influence the amount you give, the wedding venue or added bells and whistles at the event should not.

Kent said, at the end of the day it's a couple that's choosing to throw the kind of wedding they want, and the financial obligations rest on their shoulders.

"I don't think the guests should feel obligated to pay for an overly-lavished wedding, and nor do I feel they should pay less for a simpler wedding," she said.

One thing that couples planning a wedding should keep in mind heading into their big day is that they're not going to recoup the costs.

While there's an expectation to bring a gift when invited to a wedding, Kent said guests should also only give what they're comfortable with.

"As the couple, you are inviting the people you want to be there because they are important to you, and whether or not they bring you a gift shouldn't matter," she said. "A gift is kind of a positive collateral of throwing a wedding, but it should not be the reason you throw a wedding."

Should guests feel obligated to give a certain amount as a wedding gift, or should any gift do? Leave your comments below.

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• How Much to Spend on a Wedding Gift? Experts Explain.

Wondering how much you should spend on a wedding gift? Learn the etiquette of wedding gifting, including how much to give for a cash wedding gift.

By Monica Mercuri and Jennifer Prince

Last updated April 4, 2024

Inside this article:

How much should you spend on a wedding gift?

What’s the “cover your plate” rule, is it ok to give a cash wedding gift, should i contribute to a honeymoon fund as a gift, is it ok to give a group wedding gift, can i buy wedding gifts that aren’t on the wedding registry, do i need to buy a gift if i can’t attend the wedding, should i buy a wedding gift if it’s a destination wedding, what is wedding etiquette for a plus-one, do i need to buy a gift for every wedding event that i’m invited to, should i ship my wedding gift or bring it with me, what can i do in place of a gift on the big day, is it ever appropriate to ask the couple how much to spend on a wedding gift, how late can i give a wedding gift.

As the resource for all things wedding registry , we get a lot of questions here at Zola from guests looking to pick out the perfect wedding present. The question we get most often is, “How much should I spend on a wedding gift?” The answer varies depending on a few factors, such as how well you know the couple and how many different wedding events you’re invited to. Some of you may even be wondering if you need to purchase a wedding gift at all. Read on for our complete guide on wedding gift etiquette.

These days, where cost-per-plate (explained below) does not factor into your choice of a wedding gift, exactly how much you should spend on a wedding gift depends on various factors. Here are some general guidelines to follow:

• The average wedding gift amount ranges from $50 to $100, depending on how close you are to the couple. But more importantly, choosing a wedding gift isn’t about the price tag—it’s about giving the couple a special acknowledgment, from you to them, of this happy moment that they will use throughout their new life together.
• Try to find a gift that has both special significance to you and fits within what you can comfortably spend.
• Most couples register for gifts at a range of prices, so while big-ticket items might be exciting, couples also want smaller gifts that hold just as much meaning, purpose, or joy in their daily lives.

If you’re still itching for dollar amount suggestions, follow these very loose guidelines for how much to spend on wedding gifts:

• If you’re a coworker, acquaintance, or distant relative: $50-$75
• If you’re a friend or relative: $75-$100
• If you’re a close friend, immediate family, or part of the wedding party: $100-$150+
• If you received a +1 on your invitation: 1.5-2x more on the gift

Once upon a time, it was considered good etiquette to purchase a wedding gift with a price tag comparable to the cost per plate (i.e., your meal) at the reception. Although it’s outdated, this sneaky piece of advice still gets passed around by wedding attendees like wedding gospel.

Here’s why you should leave it behind:

• Following this guideline means having to ask around (or ask the couple directly) how much they’re spending per plate at their wedding, which is a pretty uncomfortable question to circulate.
• It implies that you, as a guest, must spend a certain amount on a wedding gift regardless of your budget (which isn’t true).
• Attending someone’s wedding isn’t a food-for-gift exchange. It’s about celebration and coming together.
• This practice indicates to the couple that you’re only interested how much to spend on a wedding gift while giving them a gift that matches their wedding catering budget.

Cash gifts are not only totally acceptable, they’re becoming increasingly requested by modern couples who are getting married later in life and have already outfitted their homes. If the couple is using Zola, they may have even registered for cash funds to help them save for the honeymoon, a new home, a puppy, or even a lifetime supply of avocados (yes, it happened). However, there are a few best practices you should follow when contributing to a cash fund and wondering how much money to give as a wedding gift:

• Make sure you contribute an appropriate wedding gift amount through the couple’s registry if their list provides that option.
• If you write a check, mail it before the wedding day. Giving cash or checks on the big day isn’t necessarily wrong, but it does risk being lost in the chaos of the day.
• If writing a check as a wedding gift, make sure to write it out to one person and use pre-married names. Couples don’t always share joint accounts or change their names after the nuptials, which can lead to the bank refusing to accept the funds.

Those from former generations may consider a honeymoon fund an oddity, but if the couple has one, by any means, utilize it. If you’re wondering, “What is a good wedding gift?” adding a massage, helping pay for a hotel, or contributing to the overall honeymoon fund can be a lifesaver. Plus, it eliminates some of the stigma with how much to give for a wedding as you can donate any amount that suits your budget.

Yes! If you want to give the couple a big ticket item you can’t afford on your own, it’s a great idea to go in on a group gift with other guests. Zola’s group gifting feature can make this process extremely easy. Two pieces of advice here:

• Make sure that everyone contributes the same wedding gift amount they would have spent on smaller gifts purchased on their own. When wondering how much to spend on wedding gifts, don’t skimp as a group.
• If you are attending a wedding as a large family, it’s a good rule of thumb that all adults (or each household) give their own gift.

As wedding gift etiquette, it’s always best to purchase a gift on the couple’s wedding registry. That way, you can ensure they like (and need) the item. If all of their registry items have been purchased by the time you get around to buying a gift, you have a few options:

• Ask the couple if there’s anything else their hearts desire.
• Contribute to a cash fund (or give them cash or a check directly).
• Opt for an off-registry gift you’re 100% confident they’ll love. If you go with this option, make sure to get a gift receipt so that the couple can easily return duplicate or damaged items without hassle.

In short, yes. But there is some flexibility here depending on how well you know the couple and your personal financial situation. If you’re close friends, it’s best to send a gift and a personalized note with warm wishes. Your mom’s boss’s daughter that you’ve never met? While it’s always polite to send a gift if you can, in less personal circumstances, you’re less on the hook.

Yes again. However, the travel and lodging costs that come with a destination wedding can put a big strain on your budget. It’s likely that the happy couple views your presence as a gift in itself, but if you want to get technical about it, purchasing a wedding gift is proper, even in the case of a destination wedding. If you’re shelling out quite a bit actually to make it to the wedding, then feel free to spend less than you typically would for a local celebration. With a destination wedding, there is a little leeway with how much cash to give for a wedding present.

First of all, be sure that your plus-one is cleared with the couple, either via the address on the invitation or by chatting with the couple beforehand. A surprise guest can really be a burden if they aren’t accounted for in the catering, seating arrangement, and other plans. That being said, when giving a gift, it’s best to double the amount you’d normally spend on the gift, therefore accounting for a present from both you and your guest.

Not to sound like a broken record, but yes, you should purchase a gift for each event. Yes, it can cause anxiety over how much to spend on a wedding gift, we know. Buying this many gifts can be tough. If you are invited to the engagement party, shower, and wedding, we suggest planning ahead and setting a budget for gifts in advance. To make things easier on your wallet, follow the 20-20-60 rule, which dictates that you spread out your spending like so:

• 20% on the engagement gift
• 20% on the bridal shower
• 60% on the wedding

Breaking down the expenses and knowing how much to give as a wedding gift percentage-wise can be a big help.

Follow these rules to determine if you should physically bring a gift with you to any wedding-related festivities:

• If you attend a shower, engagement party, or purchase a gift that isn’t on the registry, take the wrapped gift along with you to the event.
• If you bought a gift on a registry or are giving cash/check, gifts should be mailed to the couple before the big day.

Zola perk: Couples with a Zola registry have the option to ship your gift whenever is convenient for them. Whether that’s before the wedding, after they return from the honeymoon, or months later. Spreading out the gifts can alleviate some of the cost of how much to spend on a wedding gift.

If finances are truly a hardship, don’t skip the special day due to gift-giving. The couple invited you and wants you to be a part and not stress over how much money to give at a wedding. That being said, if you can’t budget for a gift, it’s time to get creative! If you know the couple well, think about any services you could offer to help them out. Here are a few examples (hint: these also make fun last-minute wedding gift ideas ):

• Have a beautiful garden? Gift the couple a monthly arrangement of fresh-cut flowers from your own garden during the peak season.
• Are you handy? Offer to help the couple get their new home ready. Hang photos, help paint rooms, install sound systems, and change light fixtures. Whatever is within your skill set works and will help them save instead of hiring someone.
• Love animals? If the couple has pets, offer pet-sitting services during their honeymoon or annual family vacation. Go the extra mile and spend extra time with their feathered, fur, or fish babies while they’re out of town.

Unless you’re especially close to the couple—say, a sibling or BFF—avoid this question and take cues in other ways. Look at their registry and see what they have listed. Also, follow the general rules given above. The couple has so many things to plan for their big day, and they shouldn’t be asked what amount to spend on them.

Speaking of the timeline, some say you have up to a year to purchase a wedding gift. However, the best practice is always to buy and send gifts before the wedding day or within 3 months of the nuptials. Any longer, and you’re likely to forget. Plus, it’s more convenient for the couple to manage receiving gifts (and writing thank you notes) sooner rather than later. When wondering how much do you give for a wedding gift, waiting until after the big day can help.

Whether you’re invited to everything from the engagement party and bach parties to simply attending the wedding, knowing how much to spend on a wedding gift can prove daunting. Rest assured that the couple wants you there to celebrate. Although you should give them a gift, it’s not their focus, so give graciously and with joy. Find out more about registries or find a couple’s wish list in a snap on Zola’s wedding registry section .

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We’ve got wedding planning advice on everything from save the dates to wedding cakes.

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How Much Should You Spend on a Wedding Gift? All Your Questions Asked & Answered

Expert advice for how much to give—whether you buy off the registry, get creative, or give cash.

An invitation to a wedding—or a dozen—means outfits to buy, trips to book, and (whether you attend the festivities or not) gifts to purchase. Gifting isn't what it used to be. Registries have gone digital, honeymoon funds appear every now and then, and many couples living together before they wed seem to have everything they need. Today's wedding landscape filled with everything from four-day destination events to simpler backyard affairs has guests wondering what one's expected to spend on a wedding gift, if cash is acceptable, if bringing a plus-one affects what one spends, and more. Here, BAZAAR Bride's breakdown of all things gift etiquette—from the experts who've seen it all.

How much should you spend?

That all depends on whether the gift is off the registry, an experience, or cash. Upon consulting the experts, a wedding gift should range from $75 to $750—but most agree that $300+ is the sweet spot.

"It used to be that you'd spend approximately what you expected your meal to cost," explains celebrity and luxury event planner Marcy Blum —"but I think that's over." That adage stemmed from a time where weddings were far more formulaic and centered around one main dinner reception. Now, couples are creating experiences for their guests that include multi-event weekends, interactive entertainment, far-flung destinations, welcome bags, favors, and more—and those gestures merit a token larger than the cost of a catered meal."

"At minimum, a gift should be $75 to $100 if you are purchasing something off the couple's registry," explains Hugh Howser of H Three Events . "That's the lowest ticket price of a high-end item on an average registry. Most registries now pool money for you, and so if you can't spend much more, you can at least contribute to something larger."

"If you're a very close friend of the couple, it would be typical that you would spend more on that person; same would apply if you were invited with a guest," explains Lynn Easton of Easton Events .

"Destination weddings don't change the rules," adds Easton. Though some might attempt to suggest that a wedding costing guests more to attend lets them off the hook from sending a standard-to-generous gift, that's not the case. In fact, couples planning more formal, experiential events are a pair you might consider spending more on.

"Base what you spend on the formality of the wedding. If it's a destination wedding in Europe or a black-tie affair at a museum, I'd suggest spending a bit more," advises luxury wedding planner Lyndsey Hamilton . "The couple has clearly considered the guest experience, and those cues come from the invitation, the dress code, the location. … Infer from the formality how 'formal' your gift should be. A backyard BBQ or a garden party in the daytime doesn't mean you should give a lackluster gift, but doesn't require you to go all out."

When in doubt, check the registry. "It's a good gauge of what the couple expects to receive," Hamilton says. "But, if you’re planning to give cash—up the ante a bit."

Can you give cash or a check?

"Among our brides, [a cash gift] is not the right way to go," Easton admits. And Howser agrees, "I would never tell someone to gift cash, it's so impersonal. This is a wedding, not a charity gala." But if you must—"I'd never give a check," Blum explains. "If I'm giving cash, I'm going to give cash, along with a handwritten note."

It seems buying off the couple's registry is by far the more cost-effective way to go. "You can give a $200 Le Creuset piece from the registry, but if you're going to gift cash, it should be a larger amount to feel impactful," Easton says.

Easton, Blum, and Hamilton all agree that given the impersonal nature of a cash gift, the amount needs to be substantial, to the tune of around $500. Howser recommends not gifting less than $300 if you opt to give a cash gift. The packaging also matters. "If you do give cash, it should be done in a way that's thoughtful and has a lovely presentation to it. Present it a gorgeous envelope, or maybe have the packaging calligraphed," Easton suggests.

On the flip side, Hamilton has had a different experience. "People do love cash. … A lot of people are living together before the wedding, and so a registry feels really formal nowadays. Maybe people are registering for upgrades to their home, or fine china, but giving someone cash allows them to purchase whatever they'd like or add an upgrade to their honeymoon."

Blum advises that if you are giving cash for the couple to spend on their honeymoon, it's far more elegant to gift them the experience instead—be it a couple's massage at the spa, a romantic dinner at the best restaurant, or a surprise hotel upgrade.

Can you bring a gift to a wedding?

"Even if you do give cash, you're not bringing that—or any gift for that matter—to the wedding," says Blum.

In fact, bringing your gift—even if it's just a card—does the couple and the expert team they've hired a disservice. It's their planning team that ends up being in charge of safekeeping the gifts brought to the venue and safely delivering them to the client. That responsibility can interfere with the event taking place and the couple's plans for the evening once they're required to transport gifts home after the celebration.

Let's be honest: There is nothing sexy or romantic about ending one of the best nights of your life by loading up the trunk of a car to lug odds and ends home. When gifting for a wedding, it should be sent in advance, ideally via the registry, at a time you know is convenient for the couple to receive it. "Nobody wants to carry a Cuisinart up a hill, or have one placed in the trunk of their getaway car," insists Howser. "Under no circumstances are you to bring a gift to a wedding."

If you don't attend the wedding, do you have to send a gift?

The short answer is yes. The couple invited you with full intentions that you would be joining them to celebrate, and sending a gift is the proper thing to do.

With that in mind, "A lot of my clients aren't asking for gifts anymore," explains Hamilton. "They're keeping sustainability in mind, and asking for guests to donate to a charity of their choice or the couple's, or opting out of gifts altogether. Some couples just want to celebrate and offer an amazing experience to their family and friends with nothing in return."

However, should that not be made clear on the invitation or wedding website, a gift is undoubtedly the elegant gesture, even if you are unable to attend the event.

Do you need to buy something on the registry?

"If you know the couple well enough to find something that's fabulous off the registry, go for it," Easton says. "For instance, if they love Portofino and you get them a gorgeous painting, that's amazing. But don't do any guesswork. If you are stressed about thinking of what to get, registries are gift-giving made easy." The couple registered only for things they loved, wanted, or needed—it's best to stick to their wish list.

If you shop the registry too late and find that little you'd gift remains, there are a few ways to approach it. You'll frequently find that single pieces of a couple's desired china pattern, glassware set, cookware packages, and objet remain on the registry—meaning that the couple is an item short of some of their favorite things. "I actually think it's fun to give a hodgepodge," Blum says. But there's only one chic way to do that: Pick up all the scraps until they amount to a substantial amount spent, perhaps around $300+, then send a cheeky yet thoughtful note along with the more random assortment.

"If the registry has nothing left on it, gift them a dinner at a fine dining property they love– or use the venue as a way to dictate a creative gift off-registry," Hamilton advises.

As for foolproof off-registry items that work every time, Hamilton recommends a good set of knives. "Nobody ever wants to spend the money on amazing knives for cooking. But when you give someone great knives, you're supposed to give them a penny for each knife for good luck. They should be packaged carefully with pennies in a satchel; explain that while this gift is traditionally bad luck, you've gone ahead and counteracted that. When they're cooking quality meals at home, they'll think of you and thank you later."

As for Easton, she recommends something for entertaining rather than cooking. "Who doesn't want a beautiful glass to drink anything out of, from milk to Scotch?! You cannot go wrong with a set of crystal flutes, coupes, or low-ball glasses." Make your off-registry gift that much more impressive by including a beautiful bottle of a spirit you'd serve in them.

Blum takes a more practical approach: a beautifully made wooden salad bowl and servingware. "Couples get more decanters than they know what to do with," she explains. "This is something they'll always need, but definitely isn't anyone's first choice to gift or register for."

How long do I have to get the couple a gift?

According to Emily Post, you have one year. "But most people getting married today have no idea who Emily Post is," Howser says. "You should technically be sending your gift to the couple, or coordinating for it to be sent at a time of their choice, before attending the wedding. If you need a bit of extra time, that's fine—but if you leave it for more than a month or two after the wedding, they'll assume you aren't sending a gift."

Carrie Goldberg is HarpersBAZAAR.com’s Weddings & Travel Director. She oversees the site’s BAZAAR Bride channel, travel & dining content, and styles fashion and bridal editorials for BAZAAR.com. When she’s not traveling, she spends her free time in her hometown–New York City–where there is no shortage of new places to shop, eat, drink, see and explore.

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The|Wedding Envelope

Taking the guesswork out of giving ™.

How much money should I give as a wedding gift?   Welcome to The Wedding Envelope where we've solved the age-old question of how much money to give as a wedding gift. Our innovative propriatary monetary gift calculator takes into account the most relevant cost factors for a wedding and factors in the average out-of-pocket costs to you, the guest, creating a single suggested monetary amount to give to the newlyweds. Please remember that this is just a gift suggestion and thatyou should always give with your heart as well as what you can afford. As always, please stuff those envelope responsibly!  

Find anything you save across the site in your account

Exactly How Much Money to Give as a Wedding Gift: Here Are 11 Factors to Help You Decide

In short, there's no exact go-to dollar amount when you're giving money as a wedding gift. (Sorry.) But there are a bunch of factors that can help you decide. Here are the 11 that matter, in our book.

Salary If you make more, you give more. So we'd give more now than we would've if we were right out of college. Unemployed guests give what they can—and a kind bride or groom will mention to anyone who's majorly cash-strapped, "We know you're struggling. Your presence is present enough."

Attendance If you're not going, you can get away with giving less. But if it's a close friend or family member, don't go too low. Especially if they attended (or will attend) your wedding and gave a gift.

Plus-One Status You don't need to double the amount if you're double the guests, but multiplying your base number by 1.5 is about right. (So if you generally don't go lower than $100 when you're solo, don't go lower than $150 if you have a plus-one.)

Relationship There's no hard-and-fast rule, but in general, your bestest bestie gets more than your coworker.

Wedding Number If you've already been to a wedding for the bride or groom, you can give less—but not too much less if it's the first trip down the aisle for the other person.

Other Gifts The general rule is you spend 20 percent of your gift budget on an engagement gift, 20 percent on a shower gift, and 60 percent on the wedding gift itself. Engagement gifts seem to be more of an East Coast thing, while bachelorette-party gifts are popular elsewhere, so adjust the numbers to suit the number of gifts you're giving, but keep a majority allocated for the wedding gift.

Other Contributions If you hand-calligraphed 150 invitations { been there } or your husband designed and printed their programs { done that }, you can consider that part of your gift. But don't dock them for easy, expected tasks, like assembling favors as part of a group.

Wedding Party Status In general, the wedding party gives more, but if there were above-and-beyond expenses—say, a super-spendy bridesmaid dress and a bachelorette getaway in Mexico—you can give less.

Wedding Location If you and the bride and groom live in a major city (NYC, L.A.), you give more. Especially if the wedding is being held in that city. But if you're from the Midwest and still live there and your city-dwelling friend hosts her wedding in your hometown, I don't think you need to bump up the amount.

Travel Distance If attending a wedding requires a plane ride and a hotel stay, you can skip the cash gift and buy something less expensive off the registry— unless the bride and groom are chipping in for your travel expenses. In that case, give something a little more substantial.

Their Gift to You You don't go tit-for-tat, writing a check for the exact amount you received—especially if, say, the groom in question attended your wedding solo five years ago. But it's awkward if you're overly generous when someone got you a salad tray and tongs.

The old rule of thumb used to be "You give enough to cover your food and drink." But we take issue with that for two reasons: (1) You shouldn't know how much the bride are spending per guest. If you do, there have been some serious breeches of etiquette. And (2) the amount you can afford shouldn't fluctuate based on when they can afford.

PS: If you're giving money, opt for a check over cash in case your card gets— Yikes! —lost or stolen.

More from Glamour :

11 Memorable Wedding Presentation Ideas & Examples

• by Marisa Jenkins
• October 31, 2023

Beyond just solemnizing your relationship, weddings are all about gathering the people you value and celebrating with them. Couples are becoming more unique and technologically savvy with how they keep their guests engaged — including wedding presentations.

Wedding presentations are electronic slideshows that feature pictures and videos of the couple. Unforgettable content in a presentation at a wedding may come from yearbook photos, interviews with loved ones, bloopers from engagement photo shoots, and more.

Below are 11 wonderful wedding presentation ideas for your reception, along with some examples to inspire you. An in-depth guide for creating your own wedding slideshow is also provided.

Presentation at a Wedding: Special Ideas to Consider

1. Show Your Yearbook Photos

Whether you and your partner are getting married in your 20s , 30s, or 40s, showing yearbook photos is an entertaining and endearing idea. Your guests will see how much you have grown over the years — not only in terms of physique but also in maturity and personality.

Look back at your ambitions in preschool or what you thought of as peak comedy in your middle school yearbook quote. If you and your partner met in high school or college, a nostalgic wedding presentation idea would be to show your photos side-by-side.

2. Have Someone Interview You

When you meet your photographer or videographer, do not forget to mention that you want to have a presentation at your wedding. You can plan an interview during your engagement photoshoot.

Your photographer or videographer can coordinate with your planner — or maid of honor — if they need help coming up with questions. Videos and photos from the shoot can serve as B-rolls for the wedding presentation.

You can even play some quick games during the interview. For example, you can incorporate “ How Well Do You Know the Bride ?” into the video and ask a few entertaining questions about your spouse.

3. Play an Original Song

If you or your partner are musically inclined, consider composing a short original song for your wedding presentation. It does not have to be three to five minutes long; you can play the song during a specific part of the slideshow.

Alternatively, a friend or relative might volunteer to write an original song for you as a wedding gift. If they do not feel comfortable performing it live, ask them if you can incorporate the piece into your slideshow.

4. Sing a Cover and Use It as Background Music

Even though you consider yourself musically inclined, you might think songwriting is not your strong suit. In this case, why not pick a personally meaningful song and provide your own rendition for the slideshow?

This song might be the music playing on your first date, or it might be from an artist you bonded over when you first met. You can also cover the second choice for your wedding first dance music as a way to include it in your reception.

5. Show Bloopers from Your Engagement Photoshoot

The polished images from your engagement photoshoot might already be included in your wedding videographer’s outputs. As such, consider including bloopers and other pictures that did not make the final cut.

Pictures wherein you and your partner are making goofy or wacky poses will be perfect for your slideshow. You can also include any stolen or candid shots from other people in the photo shoot, such as relatives and friends.

6. Add Travel Photos

Everyone might know you as a well-traveled couple who has visited many states, countries, and continents. In this case, a memorable wedding presentation idea would be to include some photos from your favorite trips.

This idea for a wedding presentation is especially fitting for a destination wedding. For example, if your ceremony is at Lake Como , show some pictures you took while traveling around the area. Let your guests see what made you fall in love with the place and your venue.

7. Include Family Photos

One way to pay homage to your family is by including them in your wedding presentation. Look for pictures where all your relatives are present.

If you have a family member that has passed on, this idea is a touching way to honor them. You can feel their spirit with you, even if they cannot be physically present.

If you or your partner have children from a previous marriage, add pictures that show you and your stepkids bonding. Earning their trust and forming a bond with them might have been challenging, but all the difficulties are worth it.

8. Compile Well Wishes from Loved Ones

The presentation at your wedding can be a compilation of well-wishes and messages from your loved ones. You can ask your friends and relatives to record a short video where they can say anything they want — anecdotes, blessings, and whatnot.

This idea is particularly excellent if you have a lot of friends and relatives who cannot attend your ceremony; they might be too far away, have prior commitments, or have a personal reason for why they cannot go.

9. Interview Your Friends and Family

If you and your partner think an interview sounds like a fantastic wedding presentation idea but do not want to be featured yourself, why not have your loved ones in front of the camera?

You can ask someone to prepare a list of questions to be answered by friends, family, and anyone you want to hear from. This idea is a sentimental gesture, something you can rewatch years down the line and feel touched by. 

10. Share Your Passions

Odds are your guests will have varying levels of familiarity with you. Some might be aware of your interests and hobbies, while others might simply know you as a distant cousin or your partner’s partner.

Wedding presentations are a great way to give more information about yourself. After all, you are more than just a spouse.

If you like sports, show a picture of you at a golf course holding your favorite club. If you are an artist, why not share some images of your previous works? If you have a diverse and colorful home garden, boast about it through your photos.

11. Tell Your Life Story

Most of the wedding presentation ideas above focus on specific parts or aspects of your life. However, keep in mind that you can use your wedding presentation to narrate the story of your relationship.

The example above starts with childhood photos of the bride and the groom. To give the slideshow structure, the creator included some text and narration. Within 10 minutes, the couple was able to tell a cohesive story of how they grew up, found each other, and started a life together.    

How to Create a Presentation at a Wedding: Guide

Visualize Your Presentation

Before looking into what software to use, try to figure out how you want your presentation to look. Do you prefer a simple but elegant scrapbook-like collection of photos, or do you want to intersperse footage from a photo shoot with interviews?

Having an idea of what you want to achieve can make it easier for you to find the right software. Likewise, doing so will help you determine if you need to ask for help from a professional.

Choose the Software You Will Use

There are plenty of free software options you can explore.

• Canva – a free-to-use graphic design tool with thousands of templates to suit your needs. You can edit presentations, videos, accompanying social media posts, and more. You also have access to tons of elements — stock media, digital illustrations, etc. — for free or a certain price.
• PowerPoint – a classic software package that allows you to design electronic presentations from scratch or following a template. This program is easy to use and learn.
• Google Slides – another software for producing electronic presentations similar to PowerPoint. Whereas PowerPoint is an offline program, Google Slides is part of Google Workspace; like Canva, you can work on the same document with other people in real-time.
• iMovie – a video-editing program that comes with the Apple ecosystem. This software comes with a variety of elements and transitions that will allow you to smoothly create your wedding presentation.
• Animotica – a video editor, movie maker, and slideshow maker available to users of Windows 10. It is simple and intuitive, allowing you to add pictures, trim clips, overlay elements, and more.

There are other options, such as Smilebox, Animoto, and Adobe Spark, each with its own pros and cons. If you are already familiar with a specific program, feel free to use it to start your wedding presentation.

Browse Templates and Search for Inspiration

The programs listed above come with a library of templates and elements you can use for a presentation at a wedding. In particular, choosing a template will make editing easier and more seamless.

Instead of simply going with the first template you see, try to browse through your options until you find one that matches your theme. It can be as simple as your wedding color scheme or as elaborate as a Friends-inspired presentation.

Set a Duration for Your Slideshow

Nowadays, most of us have shorter attention spans. While a 15-minute slideshow sounds great in theory, it might not be ideal in practice; your guests might not find it entertaining or engaging anymore after the 10-minute mark.

As such, make your wedding presentation 10 minutes at most. This duration allows you to include approximately 50 to 130 images. If you want to add videos and recordings, try to trim them down as short as possible.

Gather Your Photos and Videos

Spend some time looking through old albums, Facebook posts from years ago, and storage drives. You can also ask your friends and relatives to send you anything they have.

Besides actually editing the slideshow, this part of the process might take you the longest to finish. Give yourself enough time to collect photos and videos, choose the best ones, and import them to your device with the highest quality possible.

Finalize Your Slideshow  

Once the presentation is finished, you can add final touches to make it more engaging and pleasing. Firstly, consider adding background music. However, make sure to match the music to the theme and tone of the presentation.

Secondly, feel free to add any transitions, overlays, and other elements. Again, keep your theme in mind — do not put anything for the sake of putting it.

Lastly, go through the slideshow and try to catch any typographical errors and other mistakes. If you happen to miss some and only notice them while presenting the slideshow at your reception, do not worry; it happens to the best of us.

Save Your Slideshow and Back It Up

Download your file once you are satisfied with the output. The specifics depend on the venue and technological requirements; you might need to save your slideshow in a flash drive or add it to a shared folder.

Ask staff from the venue and pertinent wedding vendors for instructions.

Do not forget to save multiple backups of your slideshow. Save it on the cloud, make a copy in Google Drive, put one in a flash drive, send it to yourself via email, and so forth. You can never be too safe.

Make Time for Your Wedding Presentation

Commonly, presentations at weddings are played during the reception. However, you have other options for the timing of your slideshow presentation:

• At the rehearsal dinner
• During cocktail hour

If you are worried about being short of time — or losing your guests’ attention quickly — then you can have the slideshow playing in the background while they eat and socialize. You can have the slideshow repeat on mute until the next agendum on your reception timeline .

Marisa Jenkins

Marisa Jenkins is a wedding planner and event coordinator. Her main goal for WeddingFrontier.com is to simplify the wedding planning process by sharing her years of expertise in the industry.

How Much Should I Spend on a Wedding Gift (in Canada)? A Simple and Easy Guide

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You’ve been invited to a wedding – yay! You may be asking yourself “ how much should I spend on a wedding gift? ” Well, the short answer is this: it depends. Traditionally, etiquette states that spending between $100 and $200 is appropriate for a wedding gift, but there are a few other factors to consider. Here are a few:

What is your personal budget?

First and foremost, you should never spend more than you can afford on a wedding gift. Decide how much you are able to give and do so ­– the couple will (hopefully) be happy you were able to share their day regardless.

How close are you to the couple?

Depending on your relationship with the couple, the more (or less) you may want to spend on the gift. If they are your immediate family member or even a close friend of yours, you may want to aim around the $175 per person range, however, if they are a distant relative, co-worker, or family friend, feel free to stay within the $75-$125 per person range. If you’re buying as a group though, you can opt for around the $100 dollar range since you’ll be putting it towards an even bigger gift! Here’s a little tip, this option actually helps you to save a bit more! Don’t tell the bride and groom…

Are you planning to give cash instead?

It is more common nowadays for couples to live together before getting married, which means that they might already have all their plates and cutlery. It is no longer taboo for couples to request cash gifts over a traditional registry.

When gifting money, be sure to put it inside a thoughtful handwritten card and maybe include a nominal gift (like mugs). If you’re writing a cheque, be sure to check with the couple about how to fill it out so they don’t run into trouble cashing it.

Are you invited to other events?

If you are invited to other gifting events like the bridal shower, you will be expected to give a gift then as well. In this case, decide on your overall budget first, then allocate a percentage (less than 40%) to the bridal shower gift. Usually, bridal shower gifts are still part of a registry .

Check the couple’s registry

Check the registry—find out what the couple may need—that might at least help you decide what to buy, within your limits. On top of this, it is a guarantee that the gift you present will be helpful. Most registries will have items in various price ranges, so one should be able to find something that will fit in your budget yet be meaningful. This also has the added advantage of avoiding double-gifting.

Consider the couple’s lifestyle

Perhaps the newlyweds love cooking, kitchen gadgets, or gourmet food items. Maybe they’re outdoor enthusiasts, so perhaps camping gear or travel accessories may be appreciated. Tailoring your gift to their lifestyle shows thoughtfulness and consideration. Besides, if a couple has indicated plans for the future, like buying a house or starting a family, gifts that align with these goals can be particularly meaningful. This personal touch can make your gift stand out as both useful and heartfelt.

You May Also Be Interested In

If you can’t make the wedding, do you still give a gift.

Again, this will depend on how close you are to the couple. If you are super close – it’s a nice gesture to send a gift anyway. If you’re not in a financial position to buy a present, sending a heartfelt card will do.

Factor in your plus-one

When budgeting for your gift, it is courteous to consider whether you are bringing a guest with you to the wedding. As the couple is hosting and covering your guest’s expenses, consider spending slightly more than you would if you were attending solo. This does not mean you need to double the budget, but a modest increase shows that you acknowledge the couple’s additional expense they are incurring by hosting your guest.

Is it a destination wedding?

Are you travelling a great distance to attend the wedding, or do you have to pay for airfare, hotels, etc? If yes, take this into consideration when deciding whether or not to give an expensive gift. Some couples who have destination weddings will opt to have their guest forgo gifts.

*Please note that staying in a hotel for one night does not mean you’re off the hook!

Think about cultural expectations

Certain cultures have traditions of giving particular gifts or a set monetary amount as a customary practice. It’s important to respect and follow cultural traditions if the couple or their families adhere to them. This ensures your gift is appropriate for the couple and will make them appreciate it all the more. Researching or asking about these traditions or expectations can help you make an informed decision, showing the couple that you respect and honour their cultural background.

Personalize your gift

Adding a personal touch to your gift will, in turn, make it very special. You could have the couple’s initials engraved on some keepsake item, a piece of custom art, or even a scrapbook with different stages of their relationship. Personalizing your gift shows extra effort and thoughtfulness. Many times such gifts are treasured keepsakes and kept for a lifetime!

Consider pooling resources

If you are on a tight budget, consider pooling resources with other guests. Group gifts enable the purchase of more significant or sentimental items without burdening anyone’s finances. This can be especially helpful for buying high-ticket items on the couple’s registry. Collaborating with friends or family members can also make the gift-giving process more fun and collaborative. By pooling resources, you can contribute to a gift that the couple might not have expected to receive, making it a pleasant and memorable surprise.

Frequently Asked Questions

How much should I spend on a wedding gift if I am not very close to the couple?

For distant acquaintances or colleagues, spending between $100 to $150 is generally acceptable.

Is it necessary to buy a gift if I've already spent a lot on travel and accommodations?

If attending the wedding has incurred significant expenses, a modest gift or a heartfelt card expressing your congratulations and best wishes is perfectly acceptable.

What should I do if I can't afford a traditional wedding gift?

Consider giving a heartfelt, handmade gift or offering your time and assistance with wedding preparations or on the big day. Thoughtful gestures are often more meaningful than expensive presents.

Is it okay to buy a gift not on the registry?

While buying from the registry ensures the couple will receive something they want, it's perfectly fine to choose a different gift. Just make sure it's something thoughtful and suitable for the couple's lifestyle.

Can I give a group gift with friends?

Absolutely! Pooling resources with friends to buy a more substantial gift can be a great idea, especially if you all know the couple well.

When should I give the wedding gift?

You can send the gift before the wedding, bring it to the event, or within a few weeks after the event. Many people prefer to send gifts in advance to avoid the hassle of bringing them to the ceremony.

Finding the right amount to spend on a wedding gift doesn’t have to be complicated. Keep in mind the closeness of your relationship, the formality of the event, and your personal budget. The most important thing is the thought and effort you put into the gift, not how much you spend. By following these simple guidelines, you can give a meaningful gift that the couple will appreciate. Happy Gifting!

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Experts Reveal The Exact Amount Of Money To Spend On A Wedding Gift If You're In A Bridal Party

If a friend or family member has asked you to be part of their wedding party, you've probably begun preparing for the outfit you'll be wearing, the parties you'll be attending beforehand, and the planning you'll be doing with the person getting married. But how much should you spend on a wedding gift if you're actually part of the wedding party? According to wedding planners, that's really, truly up to you.

The good news is that when it comes to buying a wedding gift as a wedding party member, no choice that you make will be considered a faux pas. Your main role in the special day is to support and celebrate your friend or family member who's getting married, not to purchase something. "Chances are, you've likely already spent a ton on your friend," Alexia Crossman , a wedding planner and owner of Wiley Events Co, tells Bustle. Depending on the situation, this could mean that you've already spent money on an engagement gift, a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, your wedding outfit, transportation and lodging if it's a destination , and any beauty treatments like a manicure or professional makeup for the big day.

"Your pal shouldn't expect a gift," Crossman says. But if you still have some room in your budget to get something and would like to pick out a present, between $50 and $100 is a pretty good price range for a wedding gift , she says. "While I'm usually bummed out by how much money I'm spending at the time, looking back, I'm always glad I spent a little more to get my friend something memorable."

"Before you start comparing prices, make sure you choose something personal and thoughtful that will go a long way," Kevin Dennis , a certified wedding planner at Fantasy Sound Event Services, tells Bustle. "Since you'll likely be with one or both of them on the morning of their wedding, this is a great time to treat them to a day-of gift to congratulate them on this new milestone in their lives," he says. For example, gift them a nice bottle of their favorite bourbon to toast the special day or an emergency bridal kit to make sure that they're all set in case of any mishaps.

"If you're stumped for ideas, you can never go wrong with a donation to the couple's honeymoon fund," Dennis says. "You'll be able to contribute to their first trip as a married couple, and you have the freedom of choosing your desired amount that you're comfortable with spending." If this sounds like a great option for you, talk to some of the other members of the party about going in on the honeymoon trip together. They'll also probably be glad for the opportunity to contribute without having to spend a lot more money.

In fact, collaborating with other members of the wedding party can also give you a good feel for what's typical of the group. "I have coached maids of honor to discuss it openly with the bridal party and let them decide as a group if they each want to give a gift or not," Katherine Frost, a luxury wedding planner , tells Bustle. Of course, whether or not to give a gift is an individual choice to make, but getting a read on the situation can always be helpful. "You don't want some people embarrassed [by the fact that] they didn't give a gift because they didn't know others were doing so," Frost says. Sometimes it's fun to collaborate on a gift like a charm bracelet for the person getting married that has a charm from each wedding party member that is significant to their relationship with the person getting married, for example.

If you do feel like you've already spent too much, though, don't feel pressured to buy something, Dennis says. If you don't want to show up empty-handed though, a thoughtful card or letter is a great way to show the person getting married how much they mean to you on their wedding day. Just be sure to give it to them before or after the festivities so that it won't get lost with all of the other wedding cards.

No matter what you decide to do about buying a gift or not, the person you're there to celebrate with is sure to be delighted to have you by their side. That is certainly the greatest gift you could give.

This article was originally published on Aug. 6, 2019

Wedding pros answer the top 5 questions about gifts

Advice about everything from when you can go off-registry to how much to spend if you're in the party.

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You know not to RSVP late, not to get drunk over cocktail hour and what to wear. But even those of us who have been to a dozen weddings sometimes still scratch our heads when it comes to wedding gifting. From what to give to how much to spend, what are the rules today? So we put these prevalent  wedding gift questions to the pros: Lauren Hughes, owner of Lauren Hughes Events Co. in Toronto, Alison McGill, editor-in-chief of Weddingbells magazine and Alexandra McNamara, owner of Blush and Bowties wedding planning in Toronto, to help you make the call as we head into wedding season.

Answers as told to Katrina Clarke.

Should you ever buy gifts that aren't on the registry?

Lauren Hughes: For the general population, I say no. You won't know for sure what the couple's style or needs are. It's only okay if you know the bride and groom really, really well.

Alison McGill: It is okay to go off it. The gift registry is meant to help take the guesswork out of buying a present, but if you know the couple's taste and have an off-registry gift in mind you know they'll love, go for it.

Alexandra McNamara: If you want to play it safe, buy from the registry. With so many couples living together pre-marriage, they probably have a lot of items already. You don't want to run the risk of buying them duplicates of wine glasses they already have.

How much money should you gift the happy couple?

Hughes: As a general rule, you should cover the cost of your dinner plate, which is usually between $100 and $200. But that's a traditional way of doing things. It really depends on how well you know the couple. It they're co-workers or distant relatives, you could give in the $75 to $100 range. If you know the couple well, or it's a formal, expensive wedding, you might want to give more.

McGill: That's such a loaded question. It's really hard to target what is the right amount. Generally, the $100 mark is where you start and gifting between $100 and $150 is average.

McNamara: That's a hard question. What I want to say to preface this is they should give what they can afford, but typically, it should be between $150 to $250. That's what your dinner and alcohol would usually cost the couple. That said, to me, it's more important that the person actually attend. I would rather have someone come to my wedding and give $50 than not come at all because they can't afford it.

If you can't make it to the shower/wedding, should you still send a gift?

Hughes: Traditional etiquette does suggest you should, but I don't think people should feel obligated to send a gift.

McGill: Yes. It might be a less-generous gift than it would have been if you attended the wedding, but I think you always send a gift. If there are others who can't attend, consider giving a group gift.

McNamara: Traditional etiquette-wise, you're still supposed to send a gift. My advice is just to follow your instincts. If you know the couple well, giving a modest gift and hand written note might be the way to go. Just do something nice.

If it's a destination wedding, do you bring a gift?

Hughes: If it's costing guests an arm and a leg to get there, most couples would expect them to spend less on a gift. You could probably get away with not giving a gift or giving a smaller gift. Be conscious of the size of the gift – you'll have to bring it to the destination and they'll have to bring it home!

McGill: Yes, a gift is still required. You likely want to give the gift to the couple before the wedding and not travel with it.

McNamara: I'm not sure! I don't do many destination weddings.

Bridesmaids and groomsmen will likely already be spending money leading up to the wedding. How much should they spend on wedding gifts?

Hughes: This is tricky. Generally, bridesmaids and groomsmen will give the same or more than other guests because they're close family and friends. However, everyone involved should keep in mind the other large costs that these people are incurring along the way. Dresses and tuxes, hair and makeup, shoes and accessories, overnight accommodations, they all add up rather quickly and that doesn't even touch on the other parties involved such as the bachelor/bachelorette. One way around this issue is for all the bridesmaids and groomsmen to pitch in on one large gift, such as a great dishwasher for the couple's first home, or a few days at a resort. Group gifts allow each person to give something special without breaking the bank.

McGill: On top of their additional investment that comes as being part of the wedding party, wedding party members should target to spend the same amount on a gift as other guests.

McNamara: Personally, I didn't expect gifts from my wedding party. I think a lot of couples feel that way. If the bridesmaid or groomsman can afford it, I say give what you can but know that it's not expected.

Katrina Clarke is a Vancouver- and Toronto-based journalist who writes about relationships, health, technology and social trends. Find her on Twitter at @KatrinaAClarke.

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Field Notes

Wedding Gift Cash Grab. What’s Too Little? What’s Too Much?

By Jane Gordon Julien

• Dec. 28, 2015

Carol Dodge of Glastonbury, Conn., was walking with two friends recently when she brought up a nagging question: “My husband’s partner’s daughter is getting married. What should I give?”

One friend then asked, “What have you given in the past?”

Mrs. Dodge described her mental calculations for the recent wedding of her niece. She had estimated the cost of feeding five family members at the reception and then added more cash as a gift, and decided to give $1,000, she said.

“What?” her friends said, gasping.

Mrs. Dodge, clearly bewildered by their reaction, asked: “Wait, what are you saying? Is it too little? Is it too much?”

And therein lies the puzzle. For Mrs. Dodge’s friends, her gift to this lawyer’s daughter and her new husband seemed extravagant. But for her and many others, that total is just another number in the chaotic mathematics of wedding gifts, a calculation in which what to give, and how much, is downright bewildering.

“I hate to use the word ‘greedy,’ but people have become so concerned with money and the size of a gift and a measurement of the value of the cost of the wedding, and that makes me sad,” said Nancy Mitchell of the Etiquette Advocate, a Washington-based etiquette-consulting firm.

Mrs. Mitchell, who spent 23 years directing special events and protocol at the Library of Congress, advises checking the registry, and in the absence of a registry, giving a thoughtful gift or writing a check.

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Wedding Cost Checklist: Here's How to Allocate Your Entire Wedding Budget

It's possible to plan your dream day without breaking the bank—all it takes is a little advanced planning.

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Breaking down your  wedding budget  is one of the trickiest (yet most important) wedding planning tasks. Since this figure influences all other decisions—venue, guest list, meal options, and if you can spring for that pricey DJ—it's essential to create an accurate budget for the big day. No matter your starting number, think about dividing your wedding budget in terms of “for you” and “for them,” says Alicia Fritz of A Day in May Event Planning & Design . “A budget begins with a guest list that informs most of your costs. Be prepared to spend the most (around 40 percent) on taking care of guests’ basic needs—that's venue, food, and beverage."

Meet the Expert

Alicia Fritz is a Michigan-based wedding planner and the founder of A Day in May Event Planning & Design .

The remaining amount includes fixed costs including your photographer , videographer , and entertainment. Then, there's the more logistical and arbitrary stuff—transportation, labor, lighting, stationery, and anything else deemed essential.

Ready to get started? Use this our wedding budget checklist as a rough outline for spending breakdowns, then adjust according to your priorities .

Wedding Cost Checklist

Before making any decisions, it's important to figure out exactly how much you can afford to spend on your wedding. To do this, you and your partner should look at your savings account and determine how much you will be able to save throughout the engagement period. You may also want to talk to both person's parents to see if they're willing and able to contribute. Once you've got your total, it's best to break down your budget based on our wedding cost checklist, which encompasses the ten biggest planning categories. Our rough estimates are a good starting point, but you'll likely need to adjust buckets according to your priorities and preferences.

• Venue and Catering: 40 percent of your budget
• Photography and Videography: 15 percent of your budget
• Wedding Attire and Beauty: 5 percent of your budget
• Music/Entertainment: 10 percent of your budget
• Flowers: 10 percent of your budget
• Favors and Gifts: 2 percent of your budget
• Transportation: 3 percent of your budget
• Stationery: 3 percent of your budget
• Cake: 2 percent of your budget
• Décor: 10 percent of your budget

Keep this question in mind: Is your dream venue (or  that  dress, or those imported peonies, or whatever is on your wish list) non-negotiable? If it puts you over budget, cut back in another area that matters less to you and your partner. And if it isn't a deal-breaker, find another option that you're sure to love just as much.

Don't Forget to Create a Spreadsheet

To track your spending, follow in the footsteps of wedding planners and create an Excel workbook or Google Doc to include everything that makes up your big day. Divide each category's cost into its component parts. For example, under " bride's attire ," make line items for the dress, accessories, and alterations.

Fill in the columns with all the necessary information. Every spreadsheet should include vendor contract information, estimated cost, actual cost, additional service fees and tips , transportation and parking costs for off-site vendors, and taxes. Create a line for your total and use the auto-sum function to add as you go.

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Wedding Etiquette 101: Everything You Need to Know

Of all the special occasions in life, your wedding is one of the most special. From “Yes!” to “I do” and beyond, we look at weddings from the perspective of honoring tradition as well as moving with the times.

While the engagement process is an exciting time for all those involved, certain guidelines exist for announcing the news and beginning the preparations for your future wedding. Be excited, but get ready to balance a good deal of planning. No doubt you will encounter many unexpected questions and concerns as you move through the months following your engagement, but with thoughtful consideration you will be able to answer them all.

There are many people in a wedding to consider when it comes to attire. And while your personal attire is ultimately up to you, it is important to consider the comfort of those in your wedding party when choosing their clothes. For those who are left to select their own outfits, be considerate with your suggestions and comments; remember, most people will be looking at the bride and groom anyway!

The Wedding Day

It can be stressful, no doubt. After all, you have put many months of planning, designing and fitting into a few emotional hours of action. Some things will happen just as you planned them, others may not. But when your big day comes at last, you will find that if you communicate with consideration, then most issues will be solved with a little creativity and calm.

Wedding Parties

Bridal showers, Bachelor Parties, Tasting Dinners, Rehearsal Dinners, Goodbye Brunch - It's a wedding season. Who hosts, who pays, who goes, when? And there are the vendors. There is lots to consider and often emotions are running high, but don't worry we've got you covered.

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There was an old saying, "A man never knows how unimportant he is until he goes to his own wedding."…

Inside Weddings: Emily Post Series

Inside Weddings: Celebrating Your Engagement

Engagements are clear cause for celebration, and what better way than with an engagement party! From…

Inside Weddings: Registry Rules

For all that many couples still register for formal items, there is now a much broader mix of fun and…

Inside Weddings: Wedding Attire

What to wear to your wedding? Anna Post's advice on choosing your bridal gown, the bridesmaids' dresses…

Inside Weddings: Modern Invitations

Invitations are the first glimpse that guests receive of your wedding. They set the tone and begin to…

Inside Weddings: Multicultural Weddings

People today are finding each other across all kinds of religious and cultural divides, and the rise…

Inside Weddings: Printed Items for Your Wedding

Charm and convenience are often misaligned these days, but not so at weddings. From programs to seating…

Inside Weddings: Handling Your Guests With Grace

Everyone involved in a wedding has a part to play—and that includes the guests. And I’m not just talking…

Inside Weddings: The Wedding Party

Unless you elope to Las Vegas or slip down to City Hall for a quiet ceremony, you don’t get married on…

Inside Weddings: Dividing Wedding Expenses

One of the biggest questions about wedding etiquette comes at the intersection of tradition and wedding…

Pandemic Wedding Etiquette

With many questions and concerns during unprecedented uncertainty couples around the world are struggling…

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Wedding Presentation

What’s the current going rate for presentation for adults and kids at Manitoba weddings? It’s been awhile for me… Back in the day I remember $100/adult and $50/kid being the going rate. Would this be considered an insult today?

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