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20 Public Speaking Jokes to Spice Up Your Presentation

Public speaking can be a nerve-wracking activity for many of us, but we can’t deny that a little laughter can help ease some of the tension. Whether you’re giving a presentation in front of a large conference audience or just talking to your coworkers, having a few jokes ready to lighten up the conversation can help you communicate your points in a more engaging way. Therefore, I’m here to share with you my top 20 public speaking jokes so you can add a pinch of humor to your next presentation. From the classic knock-knock jokes to some cheeky puns, let me help you take your humor game to the next level. Let the laughter begin!

What is Joke Telling in Presentations?

Joke telling, for the purpose of livening up a presentation or spicing up a speech, is an art form. Jokes and punchlines bring levity to a presentation, but if done incorrectly can fall flat or worse, offend. On one hand, when used appropriately, jokes can provide comedic relief that allows the audience to connect with the speaker and adjusts the mood from serious to positive. On the other hand, it can be extremely risky because humor is subjective to individual taste and when words are spoken publicly any misinterpretations can be difficult to remedy. Therefore, it is essential to consider an audience’s sense of humor and align it with humour appropriate for the subject matter. The art of crafting punchlines requires skillful delivery as every joke setup requires a payoff they will find funny. It is all about timing. Punchlines should be delivered with clarity, confidence , and conviction by using subtle vocal intonation such as raising or lowering of one’s voice at the right moment. Knowing when to pause before or after makes all the difference in how funny a punchline will be received by an audience. With practice, anyone can become an expert joke-teller that adds comic relief to their presentations.

The Art of Crafting Punchlines

Crafting punchlines that effectively punctuate your presentation can be an effective way to add humor and insight into a topic. Crafting and delivering a well balanced joke are essential components of comedic timing and ensures that the audience is engaged when listening to you. To craft the perfect punchline, you must consider two important aspects of writing: timing and structure. When it comes to timing, the punchline should come in at the exact moment when your audience thought you had finished talking. You must focus on a consistent rhythm, as this will let your audience know what kind of impression you’re trying to make, allowing them to anticipate the punchline and find it hilarious. Additionally, the structure of your punchline has a great effect on its delivery. When constructing a joke, you need to make sure that each component makes sense and serves its function in the overall joke. A single misspoken word or poorly placed pause can easily disrupt an otherwise good joke. Additionally, remember to keep things short and sweet; often, overly wordy jokes lack impact due to all the fluff around them. The art of crafting punchlines has both technical and artistic components, as any good comedian knows that proper timings and structuring is essential for making a joke successful. Next, we will dive into the techniques behind telling jokes that really get laughs from an audience.

Here are the first 10 public speaking jokes:

“I used to be afraid of public speaking… but then I realized everyone in the audience is just as scared as I am.”
They say that public speaking is one of people’s greatest fears.. . which is why at a funeral, most people would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy.”
“Why did the public speaker get a standing ovation? Because he finally stopped talking.”
Public speaking tip: Start with a joke to break the ice… or in my case, break the tension.”
“I’m not saying I’m a great public speaker, but I do have a black belt in awkward pauses.”
I always prepare for public speaking by practicing in front of a mirror… it’s the only way I can make eye contact with someone who won’t judge me.
“They say that the key to public speaking is to imagine the audience in their underwear… but I tried it once and it just made things even more awkward.”
“I’ve been told that I have a face for radio and a voice for silent movies… but here I am, giving a public speech.”
“Public speaking is a lot like driving a car… you need to keep your eyes on the road and avoid hitting any potholes.”
“Why did the public speaker wear a wig and a fake mustache? To deliver a convincing TED talk.”

The Techniques Behind Telling Jokes

The technique behind telling jokes is an important element of making sure the audience finds the joke funny. Many people make the mistake of thinking that if they are funny, then the audience will find their jokes funny as well. However, humor is subjective, and what might sound funny to one person can fall flat for others. Therefore, it’s important to understand the different techniques behind telling jokes so that your comedy is well-received by everyone. To begin, it’s essential to be aware of timing when delivering a joke . A joke too early in your presentation may end up taking away from more important points you need to make while a joke too late after those points might be forgotten. Also think about how quickly you deliver the punchline of your joke. If it’s delivered too quickly, or abruptly, your audience may be caught off guard and miss its effectiveness. Another technique to consider is understanding how to structure your delivery . This includes things like varying your loudness and inflection when setting up the joke versus delivering the punch line; this will help emphasize the element of surprise for those listening and make them laugh even more. Additionally, consider opting for shorter jokes with fewer words but still finding creative ways to set them up so that they connect with your overall point and tie into something relevant for the group you are speaking too; this will help get audiences even more engaged with what you have to say. Ultimately, there is no right or wrong way when it comes to telling jokes in a public speaking setting; each speaker should find what works best for their personal style while also considering lessons they have learned from practice runs or experience speaking at other events. While some speakers may prefer longer jokes while others opt for shorter ones – knowing these key elements of effective comedy can ensure everyone in attendance gets a good laugh before going back to taking notes on the presentation. With these techniques in mind, let’s turn our focus towards exploring “The Benefits of Public Speaking Jokes.

The Benefits of Public Speaking Jokes

The purpose of public speaking jokes are not just for comedy. While at face value, they do lighten the mood and provide immediate entertainment , underlying benefits to jokes during a presentation can have longer-term impacts that assist in better engaging an audience. Contextualized properly within the narrative of a presentation, insights from resulting laughter lead to increased engagement while also paving the way to more meaningful conversations. The use of humor has been proven to break barriers and stigma between speaker and audience—straight away gaining trust and respect. Jokes also help keep your material fresh; constantly reminding listeners why they stay tuned to your presentation. Furthermore, telling a joke can help defuse negative situations caused by dissention or distractions stemming from the audience. On the other hand, it is important to note that with any comedic element used in presentations, there is risk involved. Poorly delivered punchlines or misappropriated humor can turn off the audience and even cause harm to the topic being discussed—rapidly souring the atmosphere of any presentation. It is therefore important for presenters to carefully consider their use of humor as it conveys message as strong as any technical fact or figure. By juggling these opposing issues, public speaking jokes can enhance presentations by breaking down boundaries between speaker and audience, delivering content within refreshment contexts, uniting fragmented audiences under collective laughter and providing power through authentically delivered messages. As such, how telling jokes enhances presentations is an element worth further consideration.

How Telling Jokes Enhances Presentations

It’s no secret that humor has a practical place in the art of public speaking . Used correctly, jokes can enhance the experience of your presentation and create a more memorable atmosphere for you and your audience. Here are a few reasons why laughing is your best bet when it comes to delivering a successful address. One powerful advantage of using jokes in your speeches is that well-crafted humor can help keep your audience engaged . A joke serves as an emotional hook for attendees and helps keep them interested in what you’re saying by capturing their attention and establishing a connection with them. Furthermore, many people are much more likely to remember funny stories, which can help them recall key concepts from your speech even after it’s over. Another reason to keep things light-hearted is that humor helps reduce performance anxiety by lightening the mood before you reach the podium. Writers such as Richard Harris and Andrew Tarvin would agree that one of the most difficult aspects of public speaking is simply getting up on stage, but telling a joke can break the tension and make both you and your audience feel more comfortable in the moment. Similarly, laughter may also help people relax while they listen, resulting in greater focus and understanding. On the other hand, there is some debate over whether every speech should contain jokes. While there’s no denying that humor can improve overall interest in a presentation, there’s also always the risk that a joke may be perceived as too off-color or inappropriate for a formal environment . As mentioned above, public speakers must be mindful about their level of wit when addressing an audience; This means that tasteful joke selection is paramount if you want to avoid any potential problems with colleagues or viewers. In conclusion, incorporating humorous remarks into your speeches may help boost engagement levels, set an enjoyable tone, and combat unease among audiences. With these strategies in mind, let’s move on to learn some tips and tricks on how to add genuine levity to presentations.

Here are 10 more public speaking jokes:

“I used to be a public speaker for a living… but I quit because the audience never laughed at my jokes.”
“Public speaking is like skydiving… it’s terrifying at first, but once you get the hang of it, it’s a real rush.”
“What do you call a public speaker who can’t stop talking? A filibuster.”
“Why did the public speaker cross the road? To get to the other side of the podium.”
“Public speaking is a great way to face your fears… unless your fear is public speaking, then you’re out of luck.”
“I’m not a great public speaker, but I’m really good at pretending I know what I’m talking about.”
“Why did the public speaker bring a pillow to his speech? So he could rest his case.”
“Public speaking is a lot like cooking… it takes a lot of preparation and the end result may not always be what you hoped for.”
“I’m not nervous about public speaking… I’m just practicing my interpretive dance moves.”
“Why did the public speaker keep checking his watch? Because he had a lot of time to kill.”

Humor Tips and Tricks

Humor is an essential part of a successful public speaking presentation. Not only does it help lighten the mood and liven up the atmosphere in the room, but it also helps to create a more engaging and memorable presentation . While there is no one-size-fits-all formula for humor, there are some tips and tricks that can help you inject humor into your presentation. The most important tip for adding humor is to be authentic. If your audience can tell that you’re not comfortable telling jokes, or having a sense of humor, they will likely not respond well. Instead, focus on being yourself while you’re presenting and look for subtle opportunities to lighten the mood by using self-deprecating humor or referencing your own experiences or observations. You don’t need to be a stand-up comic in order to add wit and charm to your talk, just speak genuinely and authentically with a lighthearted air. Another tip for injecting humor into your talk is to keep the tone appropriate. Make sure that your jokes are appropriate for the occasion; if you’re speaking at an event with children present, it’s probably best to avoid using any language that might be considered inappropriate or racy. Similarly, don’t rely heavily on stereotypes or stereotype jokes; these types of jokes may come across as offensive or inappropriate. Finally, be mindful of cultural differences and sensitivities; even if a joke works well elsewhere, there might be nuances specific to your audience that could cause offense. Finally, remember the importance of timing when invoking humor in public speaking presentations. Jokes rarely work if they are delivered too slowly or quickly; instead, find ways to keep your delivery natural by practicing delivering your presentation until you have it down pat with all the associated intonations for when the joke should occur. Keeping this timing intact also ensures that any potentially funny moments will not get lost as people laugh at prior jokes or stories in your talk . Ultimately, while humor can make any public speaking presentation more enjoyable and engaging , it should never take away from the overall message of your talk – jokes should always supplement rather than overshadow your main points. When used appropriately and authentically, humor can help create a lasting impression on the audience long after your presentation has ended . By crafting hilarious stories and punchlines to use throughout their presentations, speakers can successfully use humor as an effective tool for delivering their message effectively. In the next section we will discuss taking these tips into account when crafting funny stories and punchlines that invite laughter from both young and old audiences alike.

Crucial Highlights

Humor can be a great way to add charm and wit to a public speaking presentation. However, it is important that the tone of humor is appropriate for the occasion and audience. Additionally, speakers should be mindful of cultural differences and sensitivities when using humor. Furthermore, timing when delivering jokes is crucial; it is important to know when to deliver the punchline for maximum comedic impact. Lastly, remember that humorous anecdotes should supplement rather than overshadow the overall message of a talk.

Crafting Funny Stories and Punchlines

Crafting humorous stories and punchlines is an art form. Not all presenters are naturally funny, but there are ways to increase your comedic prowess. On one hand, crafting your own jokes allows for originality and customization for your specific audience and presentation. This can help increase your performance’s impact as a personal touch can be more memorable to listeners than generic jokes. Creating unique content allows you the opportunity to practice joke-telling in a way that maximizes impact and leaves your listeners laughing and engaged. On the other hand, using prepared jokes carries its own benefits. This can help reduce any performance nerves as they have been tried and tested by other comedians. Additionally, if you are new to presentation design or don’t consider yourself too funny, it can provide a safety net of ready-made material. Drawing on proven jokes can insure that even if your audience isn’t amazed, you can be confident that they will at least laugh at the stories or punchlines you selected. Both methods of comedy-creation carry their own pros and cons; ultimately it depends on the presenter’s comfort level with delivering joke material. Whether you choose to create unique content from scratch or use existing jokes, adding humor should never distract from the success of your presentation as a whole. With careful consideration for the right timing and attitude, humor can be a powerful tool in capturing an audience’s attention. Next we’ll discuss how to find the right jokes for your audience.

How to Find the Right Jokes for Your Audience

Finding the right jokes to throw into your presentation is an essential part of public speaking, but it’s also an area that can be tricky to navigate without experience. When selecting jokes and other humorous elements, there are a few points to keep in mind. First, you want the jokes to stay true to your subject matter. It can help if you know a lot about your topic, as this will make it easier for you to draw up relevant jokes that may even reference specific points in the presentation. However, some speakers take a different approach and use jokes as an opportunity to create an interesting distraction from the main point. There are benefits and drawbacks to both approaches; if you choose the latter, make sure not to cheapen your message or distract too much from the main idea of your talk. Second, consider the type of audience you’re addressing. Are they well-versed in your subject matter? Will they appreciate obscure references or would something more overt be better? And most importantly, what kind of comedic style do they prefer? A joke that works well with one group might come off as offensive or awkward with another. You don’t want undecided voters at a political debate out of fear of making the wrong joke! Finally, take into consideration how often you introduce humor into your speech . Many presentations begin amicably enough with some appropriate levity, but overdoing it can be counter-productive — no one wants a speech that’s all laughs and no information! Use humor in moderation so it can have its intended effect when it appears. When selecting jokes and humorous elements for your speech, be mindful of the content and context while keeping an eye on pacing and frequency.

Final Tips for Becoming a Jokester

As a public speaker, you can use humor to engage your audience and spice up any presentation. To capitalize on this, you’ll need to become a jokester – someone who can insert funny remarks and witty one-liners on the fly. It requires finesse, though, so to help you out here are some tips for becoming a jokester: First, make sure you know your audience . Crafting the perfect joke is not much good if it falls flat with an unappreciative audience or worse yet, offends them in any way. Take time to get to know those you will be addressing during your presentation and use that knowledge to tailor your delivery. Second, strive for authenticity. Simple jokes may get the job done momentarily but don’t rely on them too often. Just like public speaking itself, jokes should stem from personal experiences and insights since that’s usually what resonates most with listeners. This can take practice though; prepare yourself by writing down ideas or potential topics that you may want to cover in advance of speaking. Third, pay attention to timing. When telling a joke (or even making a quip) timing is everything so using natural pauses throughout your talk can really help enhance the humor element within a presentation. One thing to keep in mind is that silence is awkward so be aware when it goes on for too long as it can make the joke lose its humor and effectiveness. Finally, remember that humor should be used as seasoning – sprinkle a few lighthearted references throughout your talk but don’t overdo it. Although humorous moments can create powerful connections with your audience and offer something for them to remember about your speech days later, too much joking can have adverse effects if handled improperly. There are many strategies outlined above that can help turn any public speaker into a jokester. But before reaching the conclusion of this article there is one more step to consider – deciding how far is too far when introducing comedic moments into serious talks…

In conclusion, adding public speaking jokes while giving a presentation can help to entertain the audience and provide lighthearted moments that help to keep them engaged throughout the entire presentation. However, it is important to be aware of the risks of using such jokes, like potentially offending members of the audience or not being well-received. Ultimately, if used appropriately, public speaking jokes are an excellent way to make a presentation more entertaining and enjoyable for everyone involved. It is necessary to take into consideration who your audience is when considering what kind of jokes you should use. If you are giving a presentation primarily to younger people, then it may be more appropriate to use more modern references or “pop culture” humor than if presenting to a room full of older people. Additionally, carefully researching the topic of your presentation beforehand and using any relevant information in your jokes can really help them land with the crowd. Ultimately, humor can be used as a powerful tool in a presentation and can make people more engaged in what you have to say. It is important for presenters to be self-aware about their capabilities as well as their audience in order to ensure that their jokes will receive positive responses. By following these guidelines and abiding by professional etiquette , speakers can use public speaking jokes effectively and boost their presentations’ impact on an audience.

Common Questions Explained

What are some topics that are off-limits for public speaking jokes.

Some topics that are off-limits for public speaking jokes include topics related to race or ethnicity, religion, politics, gender or sexual orientation, disability, and illness. Using jokes about these topics can cause deep offense and hurt the audiences’ feelings. Additionally, any topic that could potentially be considered offensive or insensitive should be avoided. Jokes about controversial topics have the potential to spark heated debates and detract from the main point of your presentation. Additionally, jokes about violence, death, war and crime are also not appropriate for public speaking. It is important to remember that humor should always remain respectful as well as appropriate to the current audience when using jokes in public speaking. Keeping these ideas in mind will help to ensure that your audience enjoys the presentation without being offended by it.

How can I use jokes to break the ice for a public speaking event?

Using jokes to break the ice at a public speaking event can be an effective way to win over your audience and set the stage for a positive atmosphere. Jokes are an excellent conversation starter and can help alleviate the stress of a live performance. The key is to choose jokes that are universally funny and appropriate for all ages. This means avoiding jokes that might be offensive or tasteless, as these can backfire and potentially leave the audience feeling uncomfortable. Pick jokes that relate to your topic in some way and weave them into your presentation style in such a way that they feel natural to hear. Remember, the goal is to make people laugh, not interfere with their concentration on what you’re saying. Laughter is contagious and will help create an enjoyable atmosphere for your entire presentation!

What are some tips for using humor when public speaking?

When using humor when public speaking, the following tips can help you create an engaging and successful presentation: 1. Know your audience: Before adding any jokes to your speech, make sure you know your audience and their sense of humor. This will help ensure that your jokes are appropriate and not offensive to anyone in the room. 2. Choose appropriate material: Make sure the jokes or humorous stories you select are relevant to the topic of your presentation, as this will further engage your audience. Avoid inappropriate or off-color humor too. 3. Practice: Timing is key when it comes to humorous speaking, so practice each joke until you have it down before delivering it in front of an audience. Don’t overdo it either—jokes should be used sparingly with other content to keep the focus on the main message of your presentation. 4. Tell the truth: An effective way to use humor is to tell a personal story about a funny experience you once had related to the topic of your presentation. People appreciate honesty and genuine self-deprecating stories are often more endearing than fabricated ones. 5. Relax: One final tip for using humor when public speaking is to remain relaxed throughout your presentation and trust in yourself—your delivery and timing will naturally become better with practice, so don’t be afraid to dig a little deeper into your own experiences for material.

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100 Public-Speaking Jokes to Add Humor to Your Next Speech

So, if you are looking to add humor to your presentation, one of the best ways is to insert self-deprecating humor in the form of funny stories. A good story from your own personal experience will be easier to insert into your speech. The story will also create more of a shared experience with your audience. For details about how to use stories to add humor to your speech , click here.

With that being said, though, sometimes, you just need to get a quick laugh out of your audience. And good jokes can be a great way to lighten the mood. We’ve organized the post into four categories of public-speaking jokes.

100 Public Speaking Jokes to Add Humor to Your Next Speech.

Public-Speaking Jokes .
One-Liners about Public Speaking and Presenting .
Funny Public Speaking Quotes .
Dad Jokes that You Can Use as Presentation Icebreakers .

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Public-Speaking Jokes for Your Next Presentation to Add a Little Fun.

Between you and I, telling jokes in front of an audience is pretty risky. But sometimes, just getting the audience to laugh right from the start can lighten the mood. Here are a few jokes about public speaking that you can use when you are public speaking.

Jokes about Being Nervous and the Fear of Public Speaking

7 Presentation Habits that Make Your Nervous Speaker

Why did the public speaker hire a pitching coach? Because he needed to improve his delivery!
I used to think I was afraid of public speaking, but just now, I realized I was actually afraid of audiences.
A public speaker asked the audience, “How many of you are afraid of public speaking?” About half the audience raised their hands. The speaker replied, “Don’t worry, I used to be too. In fact, there was a 50/50 chance that I’d canceled today’s talk!”
My wife was nervous about public speaking. So, I told her she should embrace her mistake to add a little humor to her delivery. She gave me a hug. Then she laughed.
Public speaking tip: Imagine the audience naked. But not if you’re giving a eulogy.

Funny Jokes about Presentation Challenges.

Okay, funny may be a little overexaggerated, but corny can work too. Here are a few jokes about challenges that can come up in a presentation.

Why did the PowerPoint presentation go to therapy? It had too many issues with transitions.
I was going to tell a time-traveling joke during my speech, but you didn’t like it.
I asked the librarian if there were any books on how to overcome the fear of public speaking. She whispered, “They’re in the self-help section, but you might have to speak up to find them.”
I used to be a baker before I became a public speaker. I kneaded the dough, and now I need the audience!
Why did the public speaker become a gardener? Because he knew how to plant ideas and watch them grow!

These Jokes Are about Audience Interaction.

I asked the audience if anyone had experience with public speaking. A cricket in the corner started chirping.
The best way to become a confident public speaker is to imagine the audience in their underwear. Unless you’re speaking at a nudist colony.
I told my wife I was going to give a speech on procrastination. She said, “Maybe next time.”
How do you make a tissue dance during a speech? You put a little boogie in it!
Why did the extroverted computer become a public speaker? Because it had great social networking skills!

Public Speaking Jokes about Presentation Themes.

These funny (or corny) jokes are about the process of public speaking. You can easily use one of these if you start with… “Before I actually start my presentation…” then add the joke.

I asked my friend if he had any advice for public speaking. He said, “Yes, just imagine the audience is full of cats. They don’t care what you’re saying, but they’ll pay attention if you have treats.”
How do you organize a fantastic space-themed presentation? You planet!
Why did the public speaker bring a ladder to the presentation? To reach new heights in communication!
My friend tried to give a speech on patience, but the audience left before he finished. It seems they didn’t have the patience for it.
Why did the microphone apply for a job in public speaking? Because it wanted to be heard at work!

A Few Random Public Speaking Jokes (Use with Caution.)

These last few public speaking jokes are a little more tricky. You’d want to save these only for the right type of crowd.

I used to be afraid of public speaking, but then I realized it’s just talking in front of people. Now I’m terrified of public listening.
What’s a public speaker’s favorite kind of fish? The articulate!
I told my friend I was giving a speech about a famous chicken. He asked, “Is it poultry in motion?”
I was going to make a joke about public speaking, but I figured it would be better in front of a live audience.
Why did the scarecrow become a great public speaker? He was outstanding in his field!

Remember, just adding a joke or two to a speech won’t win over every audience. For help becoming a confident and effective presenter, we invite you to attend one of our 2-Day Fearless Presentations ® Classes . Click here for details.

Here Are a Few Public Speaking One-Liners to Get Your Audience Laughing.

You’ll have a much easier time just adding a funny one-liner every now and then. When you tell a joke, you typically have to get your audience to respond. And, in some cases, the audience will finish your joke.

So a well-placed one-liner will often get you a quick chuckle without as much risk. Here are a few that we organized into five different categories.

These One-Liners Are Related to Audience Interaction (Or Audience Reactions.)

“I’m not saying I’m a great public speaker, but I did once get a standing ovation… because I tripped over the microphone cord.”
“I asked my audience if they had any questions after my speech. One person raised their hand and asked, ‘When does the torture end?'”
“Public speaking is easy. It’s like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire, you’re on fire, everything is on fire, and you’re in hell.”
“I used to be afraid of public speaking until I realized every audience is just a bunch of people hoping you don’t notice them.”
“I gave a speech on procrastination. The audience is still waiting for the punchline.”

Here Are a Few about Speech Techniques and Styles.

“I asked the audience if they knew the definition of a will. Apparently, ‘a dead giveaway’ wasn’t the right answer.”
“I don’t have a fear of public speaking; I have a fear of public not listening.”
“Why don’t public speakers ever get lost? Because they always find their way to the lectern.”
“I used to be a mime, but I couldn’t stay silent about it. Now I’m a public speaker.”
“I told the audience I’d be speaking off the cuff. Turns out, my cuff was more interesting than my speech.”

That’s Ironic! One Liners about Humor and Irony in Speech

“I used to be a public speaker at a mime convention. Needless to say, my speeches were a big hit.”
“I asked the audience if they could define irony. They said, ‘Sure, it’s like goldy and bronzy, but made of iron.'”
“Public speaking is a lot like a roller coaster. It’s terrifying, and I always feel like I’m going to lose my lunch.”
“I used to be a motivational speaker, but then I lost my train of thought. Now I’m just a ‘meh’-tivational speaker.”
“Why did the public speaker bring a ladder to the speech? To reach the high points, of course!”

These One-Liners Are about Speech Topics and Delivery.

“I told the audience I’m going to talk about time travel. They’re still waiting for my future self to arrive.”
“I tried to give a speech on humility, but everyone said I was the best at it.”
“Why did the public speaker get an award? Because he was outstanding in his field of expertise – corn farming.”
“I asked the crowd if they liked my tie. They said, ‘It’s not the tie, it’s what you’re saying that’s knot working.'”
“I tried to make a speech about sleep, but I dozed off during my own presentation.”

Funny One-Liners Related to the Challenges of Public Speaking.

“I asked the audience for silence during my speech. Apparently, their laughter didn’t get the memo.”
(If your audience won’t give you feedback.) “Dialogue is like a parachute – it only works when it’s open.”
(If you happen to break wind because of nervousness.) “I’m not a nervous public speaker. I just have a very expressive colon.”
“I told my wife I’m writing a book on public speaking. She told me to speak louder.”
“Why did the PowerPoint file go to therapy? It had too many issues with transitions.”

Funny Motivational Quotes Related to Public Speaking.

A really good way to add humor to any speech is to insert a funny quote from a famous person. These funny motivational quotes are very easy to insert. In fact, you can add them to your speech introduction right at the start. That will lighten the tension in the room and get your audience laughing.

Here are a few that always hit home!

Funny Quotes About Preparation and Delivery of Speech.

“The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” – George Jessel
“It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.” – Mark Twain
“Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
“A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.” – Winston Churchill
“The best way to sound like you know what you’re talking about is to know what you’re talking about.” – Author Unknown

Quotes Related to Adding Humor to Your Speech.

If you are looking for a famous quote specifically about adding humor to a speech, try one of these.

“The first time I spoke in the West, the agents and organizers looked at me and said, ‘Oh, my God, she’s funny.’ And I thought, ‘Oh, my God, I’ve been funny all my life, but I never knew it.'” – Maya Angelou
“If you can’t make it good, at least make it look good.” – Bill Gates
“I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.” – George Carlin
“The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven’t thought of yet.” – Ann Landers
“I used to be a good communicator, but then I realized I was talking to myself.” – Author Unknown

Here Are a Few Quotes About Creativity and Writing.

“I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.” – Steven Wright
“I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.” – Steven Wright
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
“I don’t need time. What I need is a deadline.” – Duke Ellington
“I can’t understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid, my father took me to all the historic spots. Every time I refused to get out of the car.” – W.C. Fields

The Funny Quotes Can Help You Make Your Point Better.

Like the last group, these funny quotes aren’t about public speaking. But you will likely be able to use them if you are delivering an informative speech.

“The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.” – Oscar Wilde
“I have never been in a situation where having a sense of humor and a giving spirit didn’t lead to a better result.” – Ed Catmull
“The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way.” – Josh Billings
“I like to talk about my obsession with food. I love to eat. I’m not a ‘foodie,’ but I do love to eat.” – Miranda Kerr
“I failed public speaking in college the first time and made a ‘D’ in the second class. It was horrible.” – John Grisham

These Last Funny Quotes Didn’t Fit the Other Categories. (LOL!)

These last quotes didn’t really fit in any of the other categories. But they are pretty funny. If you can find a way to insert them into your speech, you’re sure to get a laugh or two.

“It’s hard to be serious when you’re surrounded by balloons.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.” – Elayne Boosler
“The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Willie Nelson
“I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That’s how I lost my mind.” – Steve Allen

Dad Jokes that You Can Use as Presentation Icebreakers.

Years ago, I taught a leadership class for his team. And at the start of every session, he stood up in front of the group and told a corny Dad joke. The jokes were cringy. But whether the audience laughed or turned up their nose, they all smiled. Over the next few years, I noticed that Ron’s employee turnover was almost zero. It was unheard of in his industry.

It turns out that his team absolutely loved him. He made a tough job much more fun to come to. So, I changed my tune about Dad jokes. Here are a few that you can use to start your next speech or meeting.

Food Public Speaking Jokes

What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but de-brie.
What do you call a fish wearing a crown? A kingfish.
Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Science and Technology Jokes.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!

Academic Jokes for a Presentation.

Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.

Spooky Jokes

Why did the skeleton go to the seance? To talk to the other side.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hi, bud!”
I went to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
What did one hat say to the other hat? Stay here, I’m going on ahead.

Miscellaneous Jokes

I only know how to make holy water. I boil the hell out of it.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
What did the snowman with a six-pack say? An abdominal snowman!

presentation skills | humor , jokes

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44 Witty & Wacky Icebreaker Jokes To Tell At Your Next Meeting

Icebreaker jokes like that one command attention. Like a good conversation starter or icebreaker question , a joke can warm up your listeners’ brains and prepare them to receive your message.

In fact, many of the best one-liners work a little like social glue. Not only do they get people laughing, but they may subtly point out similarities of experience, opinions, and values to make even a tight-knit group feel more closely bonded.

Opening your meeting with a little humor via icebreaker jokes, even your cheesiest knock-knock jokes or dad jokes, can:

Make an audience feel a stronger sense of social connection
Soothe stress and make people more receptive to calmly discussing ideas
Warm-up virtual formats for a remote team
Release endorphins and calm anger for more productive debates
Make your arguments and ideas more persuasive

Make your meeting life start feeling more like your best life with the icebreaker jokes below.

(PS – A truly energizing icebreaker joke is a great way to open up a team building event or activity and help everyone enter the right mindset to participate in the fun. Looking for more than just trust falls? Check out our list of virtual team building activities to help remote teams engage with each other in a new and exciting environment.)

Page Contents (Click To Jump)

What Makes An Icebreaker Joke Funny?

A joke could make someone crack up one day and have no effect the next day. Therefore, there’s no true formula for a perfect joke, and despite study and analysis on the part of comedians and scientists , we don’t have a precise answer to, “What makes things funny?”

However, we do have a wealth of theories and insights that can help you create, tell, or at least better understand the magic of jokes. Here’s a brief summary:

A joke could make people laugh if it:

Plays on the human love of detecting discrepancies by illustrating a generally harmless mistake, misunderstanding, or departure from the norm. (Ex: Did you hear about the person who died while opening a window? So did everyone else on the submarine)
Disrupts expectations via incongruity between a concept, situation, or idea. (Ex: Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. And that’s just in the hot dogs. (David Letterman))
Gives people an acceptable way to release their feelings on socially inappropriate topics, such as anger, bodily functions, online dating, or even the misfortunes of others. (Ex: My friend took me to what he said was an escape room. Turns out, he just locked me in the closet.)
Plays on what makes a group similar and inspires feelings of group cohesion.
Helps people understand one another via insight or perspective on the current social environment.

Icebreaker Jokes For Work

How ‘bout this weather?

How’s it going?

These workplace greetings have become such a commonplace part of our lives, they’re practically rhetorical. Do I really have to tell Rita from accounting how it’s going?

Be the life of the office and add to the company culture .

Subvert expectations and inspire smiles as you breeze into the office or your Zoom meeting with these icebreaker ideas:

1) “I don’t understand how Jeff Bezos is richer than the person who sells receipt paper to CVS.” (Brain Champagne)

2) “Do you know that cool-looking code in the Matrix? It came from sushi recipes .”

3) “Why do people park in a driveway but drive on a parkway?”

4) “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” (Robin Williams)

5) “Nowadays, comedians tell the news and the media tells the jokes.”

6) A player asked his golf coach: “What is going wrong with my game?” The coach replied, “You’re standing too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.” ( Golf Workout Program )

7) “Housework won’t kill you. But then again, why take the chance?” (Phyllis Diller)

Icebreaker Jokes For Meetings

Use hilarious jokes and fun questions to break the ice instead to capture everyone’s attention and make sure they’re awake and alert for all the excellent points you’re about to make:.

2) “I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.”

3) “What’s a comedian’s least favorite drink? [Booze]”

4) “My friend took me to what he said was an escape room. Turns out, he just locked me in the closet.” (Brain Champagne)

5) “What did the duck say when she bought lipstick? Put it on my bill!” (Best Life)

6) “I like to practice magic. Last night, I was driving, and I turned into a driveway.” (Wiley)

Pro-tip #2: Not comfortable making jokes? That’s okay. Use fun and funny facts about your team to break the ice at your next meeting. You can even source a complete bank of surprising and hilarious facts about your teammates using Water Cooler Trivia .

Not only will you receive praise for introducing an amazing team building activity , but you’ll also get plenty of fun facts you can use to laugh with (and maybe at) your teammates. You can also use a funny team building joke or quote to make sure everyone can relax during the meeting. It truly is a win-win!

Icebreaker Jokes For Speeches

A good ice breaker joke tells your audience that you’re charming and funny, someone they’ll enjoy talking to as much as their best friend. Once you get that key point across, your audience will likely listen to everything else you have to say.

Find the best ice breaker for your next speech below:

1) “Do you know what I love most about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt. And that’s just in the hot dogs.” (David Letterman)

2) “I’ve been getting into astronomy so I installed a skylight. The people who live above me are furious.” (Steven Wright)

3) “I heard a story that the band Blink-182 incorporated under the name ‘Poo Poo Butt LLC’ to embarrass their accountants in serious conversations.”

4) “I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.” (Spike Milligan)

5) “Before coming here tonight I was discussing my talk with my [partner] and [they] said to me: ‘Don’t try to be too charming, too witty or too intellectual, just be yourself.’” (Laffgaff)

6) “What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but its flag is a big plus!” (Best Life)

Pro-tip #3: Champion humor in your workplace by using an employee recognition platform such as Nectar to provide peer-to-peer rewards for making others laugh or smile.

Icebreaker Jokes For Presentations

Rapport is especially important for presentations where you’re trying to persuade an audience of strangers, and you can build rapport with people you’ve never met (and may not have anything in common with) by using some of the funniest jokes you can find. If you are looking for an opening joke for your next presentation, then check out these kick-starters.

1) “By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.” (Billy Crystal)

2) “I have a piece of paper, don’t mind me. I am a professional, but I have a lot of Nutrasweet in my system and I don’t have a good short-term memory.”

3) “I have, you know, a lot of things I want to discuss with you and I don’t even remember what they are. I have them on a piece of paper. Don’t mind me.”

4) “If I glance over, it’s not because I don’t care, it’s because I can’t remember anything.” (Janeane Garofalo)

5) “I was sitting in traffic the other day. Probably why I got run over.” (Best Life)

6) “I can’t believe my parents support my choice of profession! I told them that I wanted to become a stand-up comedian. They laughed at me.” (Upjoke)

7) “What should you do at a Halloween party if a zombie rolls their eyes at you? Roll them back so they can see!” (Beano)

8) “When my son told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.” (CNN Dad Joke Generator)

Pro-Tip #4: Get plenty of fodder for your jokes by introducing your team to Quizbreaker , an icebreaker tool that makes it easy to create and share quizzes about your team, with your team. The results of any quiz can be a gold mine for customized joke material that hits with your audience (a.k.a co-workers) because it was designed specifically for (and maybe even incorporates) your audience.

Icebreaker Jokes For Large Groups

Use a strategically placed joke to break the ice and make a large group feel like a small gathering of friends.

1) “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” (Bob Hope)

2) “Did you hear about the person that died while opening a window? So did everyone else on the submarine.”

3) “Here’s a funny fact: Nicolas Cage once purchased an octopus to help him with his acting.”

4) “You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.” (Dave Chappelle)

5) “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice…or your spine for that matter.”

6) “When I meet women, I immediately start talking about global warming. It’s a real ice breaker.” (Laffgaff)

Pro-Tip #5: Make sure you pick a joke you love. You must believe your joke is funny if you hope others will find it funny…kind of like you (hopefully) wouldn’t use pick up lines that have no chance of at least earning a wry smile. In fact, it may not hurt to chuckle a bit yourself. Laughter is contagious, after all.

Icebreaker Jokes For Small Groups

Ingratiate yourself to your tight-knit audience by opening with a little humor.

1) “I used to work at McDonald’s making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boss was trying to say? ‘Hey, if I could pay you less, I would, but it’s against the law.'” (Chris Rock)

2) “You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.”

3) “Did you know that there are more plastic flamingos in America than real ones?”

4) “Did you hear the rumor about butter? Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.” (Best Life)

5) “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I did an original sin. I poked a badger with a spoon.” (Eddie Izzard)

6) “You ever get a handwritten letter in the mail today? You’re like, ‘What the hell? Has someone been kidnapped?'” (Jim Gaffigan)

Pro-Tip #6: Pick a joke and frame it around your real-life experience . If you’re familiar and passionate about your joke, you have a better chance of getting a reaction from others. They’ll be able to feel your authenticity.

Icebreaker Jokes for Conferences

Try injecting humor into conferences for an instant icebreaker that instantly puts people at ease.

Jokes not only lighten the atmosphere but also create a shared sense of joy, easing tensions and fostering a friendly environment. Mundane facts and numbers-based conferences can be humanized and livened up with a perfectly timed joke!

Here are a few ideas for inspiration!

1) “I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.” — Anonymous.

2) The CEO of Google was late to a press conference scheduled for 4:00… 4:04 Page not found.

3) “To make an error is human; to blame it on someone else shows management potential.”

4) So, I went to an abstinence conference the other day… All we did was wait.

5) “I like work: It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome.

Pro-tip #7: The best jokes relate humor directly to unique aspects of the conference, making them relatable to everyone.

Q: What makes an icebreaker joke funny?

Illustrating a generally harmless mistake, misunderstanding, or departure from the norm
Commenting on the current social climate
Disrupting expectations or norms on a concept, situation, or idea.
Playing to what makes an audience similar

Q: How do I start my work presentation?

A: Start your work presentation with an icebreaker joke . Many jokes work a little like social glue. Not only do they get people laughing, but they may also point out similarities of experience, opinions, and values and make a group feel more closely bonded.

Q: Where can I find icebreaker jokes for work?

A: You can find good icebreaker jokes for work in this roundup , which includes office-appropriate icebreaker jokes for presentations, speeches, meetings, and more.

Q: Are there any good icebreaker jokes for a work meeting?

A: There are plenty of good icebreaker jokes for a work meeting. For example, you could use a popular Jerry Seinfeld technique and say, “Have you ever noticed…” and fill in the blank with something funny or ridiculous you’ve observed lately.

Q: How do I tell a good joke at work?

A: Tell a good joke at work by first finding an icebreaker joke you love and then practicing your delivery. Watch your favorite comedians to get inflection inspiration. Try it out on a few of your best work buddies. Before long, you’ll have a go-to joke that never fails to get laughs.

Q: What kinds of jokes are appropriate to tell at work?

A: Icebreaker jokes are always appropriate to tell at work. Some other work-safe jokes include dad jokes, puns, and a myriad of other clean and not-always-cheesy jokes that don’t leverage taboos or inappropriate subjects.

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57+ Hilarious Opening Presentation Jokes to Break the Ice

Introduction.

Presentations can be daunting, but a touch of humor can make the audience more receptive and engaged. With our collection of opening presentation jokes, you’ll have the perfect icebreakers to kickstart your talk with a smile.

Let’s dive into the world of laughter and clever punchlines to set the stage for your next big presentation.

Read More: Jokes About Real Estate Agent

Opening Presentation Jokes

Why did the computer start the presentation with a joke? Because it wanted to break the ice… pixels!
What do you call a presentation by a magician? A “spell-binding” talk!
Why don’t presentations ever get tired of speaking? Because they have PowerPoint!
What do you get when you cross a presentation with a stand-up comedian? A “stand-out” performance!
Why did the PowerPoint presentation go to therapy? It had too many “transitional” issues.
What did one slide say to the other before the presentation? “Let’s make this presentation ‘slide’ into success!”
Why was the presentation feeling confident? Because it knew it had the audience in the palm of its hand!
How do you make a presentation more exciting? Add some “slid-ventures”!
Why was the pie chart always cheerful? Because it knew how to dish out the facts with a slice of humor.
What’s a presentation’s favorite holiday? “Presentation” day!
Why don’t presentations ever get lost? Because they’re always on the “right slide” of things.
What do you call a presentation by a musician? A “sound” argument!
Why was the presentation invited to the party? Because it could really “wow” a crowd!
What do you get when you cross a presentation with a map? A “directional” talk!
Why don’t presentations ever go to the beach? Because they’re afraid of being “washed out.”
What did the slideshow say to the presenter? “You’ve got my ‘slide’ of approval!”
Why did the presentation start a stand-up comedy career? Because it had a knack for making “slides” laugh!
What’s a presentation’s favorite type of music? “Slide” guitar!
Why don’t presentations ever play hide and seek? Because they prefer to “slide” into view.
What do you call a presentation in a forest? A “tree-mendous” talk!
Why did the pie chart get a promotion? Because it could always “slice” through the competition!
What do you get when you cross a presentation with a joke book? A “comic-slided” show!
Why was the presentation such a great chef? Because it knew how to “cook up” compelling content!
What’s a presentation’s favorite game? “Slide” and seek!
Why did the bar graph become a comedian? Because it could always “raise the bar” on humor!
Why did the slideshow get a round of applause? Because it was so “well-rounded”!
What’s a presentation’s favorite type of weather? A “clear forecast” for success.
Why did the bar chart enroll in a comedy class? To improve its “bar” none humor!
What do you call a presentation about gardening? A “root” awakening talk!
Why did the pie chart become a mathematician? Because it wanted to “pie-thagorize” everything.

Funny Opening Presentation Jokes

What’s a presentation’s favorite subject in school? “Speech” class, of course!
Why did the data graph attend the comedy club? Because it wanted to “graph” some laughs.
What do you call a presentation by a farmer? A “crop-talk”!
Why did the Venn diagram attend the art gallery? It wanted to explore some “intersections.”
What’s a presentation’s favorite type of exercise? “Slide” lunges!
Why did the keynote speaker bring a ladder to the presentation? To reach new “heights” of engagement.
What do you get when you cross a presentation with a detective? A “case” closed with humor.
Why don’t presentations ever play hide and seek with their slides? Because they want to “unveil” the truth.
What’s a presentation’s favorite musical instrument? The “saxo-slide”!
Why did the infographic start a comedy podcast? Because it had a flair for “info-tainment.”
What do you call a presentation in the library? A “silent slide” show!
Why did the line graph go to a comedy open mic night? To prove it had some “lines” worth sharing.
What’s a presentation’s favorite animal? The “slide-therin” snake!
Why did the chart bring sunglasses to the presentation? To deal with all the “bright” ideas.
What do you call a presentation about space exploration? An “out-of-this-world” talk!
Why did the data table become a motivational speaker? Because it could “table” the obstacles.
What’s a presentation’s favorite dance move? The “slide-step”!
Why did the graph paper go to the comedy club? To witness some “graph-ic” humor.
What do you get when you cross a presentation with a zookeeper? A “wild” talk!
Why was the scatter plot the life of the party? Because it could always “scatter” some fun.
Why did the data chart go on a diet before the presentation? It wanted to shed some “data-weight”!
What’s a presentation’s favorite board game? “Slide-rago.”
Why did the statistics report get invited to all the parties? Because it could “percent” a good time!
What do you call a presentation in a bakery? A “crumb-licious” talk!
Why don’t presentations ever play hide and seek? Because they prefer to “reveal” their message.
What’s a presentation’s favorite planet? “Slide-turn.”
Why did the line graph never tell secrets? Because it couldn’t “keep a straight line”!
What do you call a presentation about photography? A “snap” shot at success!
Why was the PowerPoint presentation always in a hurry? It had to make its “points” quickly.
What’s a presentation’s favorite book genre? “Slide-fi”!

Jokes About Recruitment

Jokes About Applied Behavior Analysis

Incorporating humor into your opening presentation can be a game-changer. It sets a positive tone, engages the audience, and helps you connect with your listeners. So, don’t be afraid to add a dash of wit to your next presentation and make it memorable.

How can I use humor effectively in an opening presentation?

Start with a light, relatable joke or anecdote to break the ice and make your audience feel at ease.

What’s the key to a successful presentation with humor?

Balance is crucial. Make sure the humor aligns with your message and doesn’t overshadow the content.

Can humor work in all types of presentations?

Yes, humor can be incorporated into various presentation styles, from business pitches to educational talks. Just tailor it to your audience and subject matter.

50+ Fun Icebreakers For Your Next Presentation

If you’re looking for the perfect icebreaker to open your presentation and connect with your audience from the get-go, look no further! With the help of our presentation experts here at 24Slides, we have compiled the ultimate list of icebreakers you can use in your next presentation, meeting, or conference.

We’ll also go through some quick icebreakers 101, solving questions like:

What is an icebreaker?

Why should I start my presentation with an icebreaker?
What makes a good icebreaker for presentations?

And, of course, you’ll get our compilation of over 50 icebreaker examples for your next presentation. Since there’s no one-size-fits-all, we’ve divided our presentation ice breakers into categories depending on the context of your presentation, so you can go straight to the ones that will work the best for you!

In this article, you’ll find:

Icebreakers for one-on-one presentations

Icebreakers for small group presentations (2-10 people), icebreakers for medium group presentations (11-30 people), icebreakers for large groups (31+ people), icebreakers for business and sales presentations, icebreaker ideas for training sessions and workshops.

Virtual presentations icebreakers
Fun icebreaker examples for playful presentations
Great simple icebreaker questions

So, are you ready to become an expert in using icebreakers in your presentations?

Imagine you’re in a room with a bunch of people where you know only a few of them or even none at all. You’d probably start feeling awkward and self-conscious, uncertain to interact with those around you. When you’re uncomfortable, your attention will probably be divided between wanting to listen to the speaker and making sure your elbows don’t touch your unknown neighbor.

And, if you’re the speaker, you might feel pretty awkward too. Speaking in front of an audience is never easy, and you might wonder how to approach your presentation’s topic, especially if it’s dense or very important.

An icebreaker is precisely what its name suggests: it breaks the ‘ice’ of uncomfortableness between you and everyone else around you. Icebreakers are usually short activities meant to help your audience to connect first as people before approaching your presentation’s topic - making your audience more relaxed and likely to hear out your ideas.

Icebreakers can take many forms and shapes, from simple questions to engaging games. They can require people to talk with each other, answer a poll, or even move around the room. Anything that will make your attendees open up could be an icebreaker as long as it makes people feel more at ease!

Benefits of icebreakers

The main objective of using an icebreaker in a presentation is to help people get more comfortable and avoid the common awkwardness when first speaking to a new audience.

Icebreakers can accomplish many things - presenting yourself, getting people more at ease, and even as an introduction to your presentation’s topic. But they also offer a wide array of side benefits, like getting people more involved with your presentation and making it more memorable.

If you’re thinking to yourself, ‘Why should I add an icebreaker to my presentation? I’m just fine without one!’ here are 6 of the top benefits of using an icebreaker in your next meeting.

It breaks down the awkwardness

For people who aren’t 100% an extrovert, presentations and meetings are likely to create a certain degree of awkwardness. And having a room full of people who feel uncomfortable around each other can be detrimental to your presentation. Icebreakers help lessen this feeling in your presentation – making people relax and be more at ease so they can put all their energy into listening.

Icebreakers help people relax and have fun

When people relax, they’re more likely to entertain new ideas. An icebreaker may be the turning point to make them feel more receptive to what you’re going to say. It also opens up more possibilities for inviting your audience to participate and ask questions. Icebreakers are a great way to make them feel welcomed and more likely to volunteer or join whatever activity you’ve prepared for them onstage.

Help you connect with your audience

A presentation where the speaker starts right away can feel a little jarring. Icebreakers are the perfect way to introduce yourself and your topic without throwing your audience headfirst into the presentation. A good icebreaker can help you connect better with your audience – making them, in turn, more likely to hear you out!

Gives your audience an energy boost

Some presentations can feel like they take forever. When you’ve been sitting down for what seems like hours, you might feel yourself starting to nod off. An icebreaker doesn’t necessarily happen just at the start of the presentation. It can be a great way to wake up your audience after a quick break and bring them back to the topic at hand.

Gives a chance to network with others

The right icebreaker can get your audience talking and help them find things in common. After all, your audience is all in the same meeting for a reason! By giving them the opportunity to interact with one another, you are also giving them the extra value of finding people who can work with them in the future.

And, of course, icebreakers are great ways to get the ball rolling, so by giving your audience a chance to talk with one another, you might also get more interesting and unique takes on questions and ideas later on.

Creates a positive atmosphere

A positive atmosphere is created when people lower their barriers and defense mechanisms, making it more conducive to learning. A negative atmosphere, on the other hand, is felt when people don’t feel at ease and give their neighbors the cold shoulder. ‘Breaking the ice’ needs to get done as soon as possible!

5 Practical Tips for a Good Icebreaker

What makes a good icebreaker? This is a tricky question to ask. Many icebreakers that work in certain situations will not work in others, as their use depends on context.

Here are key factors to consider when planning your next presentation’s icebreaker:

Know your audience

Take the time to research your audience. The most important thing when planning your presentation’s icebreaker is to remind that you want your audience to feel less awkward — not more.

Taking your time to learn about the people in front of you is the easiest way to avoid doing or saying something that could potentially offend your audience. Even if you do it unintentionally, the damage will still be done.

Identify your presentation objective

The right icebreaker will help you achieve your presentation objective, so take some extra time to think about it. For example, if you’re giving a presentation on cooperation and teamwork, you can do a game where your audience needs to rely on one another. Or conduct a poll to ask your audience how confident they are in their teamwork skills.

Making your icebreaker closely relate to your presentation’s topic will not only open up your audience but also allow you to transition smoothly to the rest of your presentation.

Involve everyone

The icebreaker should be inclusive, meaning it shouldn’t exclude anyone from joining. For instance, if you have a disabled person in the crowd, then you wouldn’t want him or her to feel awkward for not being able to join.

Have a backup icebreaker just in case the first one excludes someone. The point is that fun icebreakers should make everyone feel more at ease — and not at the expense of the outliers of the crowd.

Make sure you understand the context

To pick the right icebreaker for your presentation, you must know the overall setting in which it will take place. A presentation to the board of directors where you need to explain where the sales have been going down is probably not the best place to use a joke as an icebreaker. Or, if you’re giving a quick 15-minute presentation, you might not want to begin with a game that will take at least 10 of them.

Taking into consideration general setting cues like time frame, space and resources availability, and presentation tone, will help you pick the perfect icebreaker.

The Ultimate Presentation Icebreakers List

Here you’ll find the perfect icebreaker for your presentation. Since not every icebreaker will work on every situation, here you’ll find them divided into several categories:

Icebreakers depending on your audience size
Icebreakers depending on your presentation’s tone and context
Quick and easy questions to break the ice

Do feel free to browse through the entire list: most icebreakers will be easy to adapt to fit your specific needs and your presentation!

Presentation Icebreakers for Every Audience Size

While in a small crowd, you might be able to ask person by person their input, this will most likely not be the case in large groups. On the flip side, a game that needs the audience to divide into teams might be a good pick for a medium-sized crowd, but not a one-on-one presentation.

Among the many options of icebreaker options all over the web, we’ve compiled and edited a list of which ones will work the best for each audience size:

Introduce yourself. Unless you already know each other, introducing yourself is the easiest way to look proactive and get your presentation going. After all, it’s in your best interest for your prospect to warm up to you before your pitch or presentation!
Have a conversation . Don’t go straight to your topic. Always warm up your prospects and engage them in conversation first. Try to ask open-ended (instead of just ‘yes’ or ‘no’) questions. You can tackle topics like current events, or even just the weather! Just talking in a more casual way will make the person feel more at ease and more likely to give you their undivided attention.
Ask them about their personal life. If it’s someone you already know, build rapport by showing you care about them. You can ask about their kids, vacations, or even their favorite sports team. Remembering what they care about can be a huge plus when building a better atmosphere!
Let them tell you what they expect from your presentation. It’s the easiest way to make sure you live up to your expectations! It also allows you to introduce the topics of your presentation seamlessly. Even better, you’ll feel and look more confident and under control by taking charge of the presentation’s rhythm and agenda.
Ask something related to your presentation topic. Ask them if they know anything about your company, product, competitors, or something to that effect. It’s not only a great way to start your presentation without spending too much time on what they already know, but it’ll also help you gauge their knowledge so you can decide how in-depth you need to get in your presentation.
Give them a small present just for showing up. Especially if the meeting is not an obligation for them, being appreciative if they show up can go a long way. After all, they’re investing their time and energy into you!
Compliment them. It’s always nice to get compliments. But don’t overdo it, and always, always be genuine. If your prospect feels like you’re using flattery to get the sale, then it can seriously backfire on you later on. You’ll lose face and credibility.
Introductions but with a twist. Ask everyone to introduce themselves and state something unusual or a fun fact about them. Towards the end of the presentation, ask them if they remember anything other people said during the introduction. If they get something right, reward them.
Ask people to line up alphabetically . You can do this with their first names or last names. Or even their nicknames. This gets people talking and getting to know each other’s names.
Charades . This is one of the best fun icebreakers on this list. It’s a party favorite but can also be used in presentations, meetings, and conferences. You probably already know how this works, but if not, here’s a funny charades video on Jimmy Fallon’s show.

String a story together . Storytelling is a powerful element in presentations. But for this icebreaker, you’ll need everyone’s help to create a story. Start the first sentence yourself and then ask the first person in front of you to continue the story. Each person gets to decide the direction the story takes, one sentence at a time.
Play word games . There are many different kinds of word games. But this is something you may find useful. Identify the subject or category the words should belong to, like animals or food. If the first person chooses ‘DOG,’ the next person must identify an animal that starts with the last letter of the previous word. In this case, it would be something that starts with the letter G, like GOAT.
One word to describe him or herself . Give your audience one minute to think about the perfect word that describes them. And let the others assess if they agree with that word or not.
Social media icebreaker . Let people open up their favorite social media accounts and then share a photo they’re most proud of. Ask them to share a line or two about why they love that photo.
Switcheroo. Ask everyone to stand up and switch seats with the people in front of them. Do this when you notice people are starting to get drowsy and need some stimulation.
Human bingo. This is a fun way to get to know people. Prepare the cards and the pen/pencil. The cards should already be filled out with various traits, characteristics, hobbies, etc. Then, your participants will need to go around and interview each person and check off a box that applies to them. The person who completes their card first gets a prize.
Friendly debate. Group your participants into two. One should be the ‘pro’ group and the other is the ‘anti’ group. For instance, you can choose pizza lovers and pizza haters. Give them a few minutes to present their arguments and let the great debate begin!
Two truths, one lie. Just like the title says, make your participants come up with 3 things about themselves, in which one of them is false. Then, in groups or pairs, the others would have to try and guess which one is the lie. It’s a great icebreaker to make your audience interact more with one another.
Guess game. Just like the last one, it’s easier to make participants interact with one another through a game. Make everyone write on a piece of paper something fun, like an unlikely hobby or the oddest job they ever had. Your audience must try to guess who wrote which one. It’s not only a fun icebreaker, but it also helps people find out the things they have in common.
Going to the beach. It’s an easy game, but a fun one! Each person will start by saying ‘I went to the beach and I took…’ plus an object, like a beachball, a towel, or a surfboard. Then, the next person must repeat the same sentence and add a new object to the list. The more people, the more the list will grow, and the first person who forgets an item loses! It’s also a good icebreaker for making attendees learn each other’s names by adding who brought what to part of the list they need to repeat.
Paper planes. Make your audience write something about themselves on a piece of paper, and then instruct them to make a paper plane out of it and throw it! When they pick up a new paper plane, their goal will be to find the correct person. It’s the perfect icebreaker to get people moving and getting to know each other!
Stretch. This one’s easy and straight to the point, but it does help break the boredom. Ask people to stand up and stretch for a few minutes. You can lead the exercise or play a short video on stage. After this short exercise, you can expect to see a bunch of awake and attentive faces.
Treasure hunting. Hide a few prized items throughout the venue and send your participants on a treasure hunt. It’s always exciting to look out for a prize! Even better, by making them solve clues, you’d encourage your audience to work on their teamwork skills.
Stress buster. Hand small slips of paper to everyone and ask them to write down the things that are causing them stress lately. Then, during or after the presentation, ask them to rip it to shreds.
Snowball fight. Divide your group into two sides, and give each person 3 pieces of paper to crumple. Give them 1 or 2 minutes to try to get as many ‘snowballs’ into the other team’s side. A healthy amount of competitiveness will help you break the ice in no time!
This or that. Another great icebreaker to highlight the things in common! Ask your audience to stand in the middle of the room, and ask them questions that will make them pick a side of the room. Things like ‘Dogs or cats?’ or ‘Night Owl or Early Bird?’ will have them jumping from one side to the other.

Icebreakers depending on your presentation’s tone

When planning your next icebreaker, you must always take into account the context of your presentation. After all, giving a sales report to your boss is not the same as giving a fun workshop on teamwork.

If you’re looking for the perfect icebreaker for a specific situation, here you might find the one you’re looking for!

If you’re looking for a more professional way to warm up your audience for your work presentations, these icebreakers are the one for you. Most business presentations are more serious and straight to the point, just like these icebreaker ideas!

Storytelling. This one is the king of icebreakers for business presentations and for a good reason! Storytelling is an incredibly powerful tool to add to your presentations, as it helps to both exemplify your point and connect emotionally with your audience. And of course, this makes it the perfect option to break the ice and get their entire attention from the get-go.
The highlight of the week. This icebreaker is great for getting your audience into a positive mood. When planning your next business presentation, take some extra time to find something good that happened that week or that month. Maybe you record sales for that month, or you got an exceptionally good review from a customer.
Would you rather? When planning your sales presentation icebreaker, this one will help to get your potential customer right where you want it. Highlight the value they’ll get from your product, and how they are missing out on it. From our experience, asking, ‘What do you prefer, struggling 5 hours per week on PowerPoint, or getting your presentations done by a professional team of designers in 24 hours or less ?’ really puts things into perspective!
Give kudos. The best way to put people in a good mood is to spread out some positivity! Giving the spotlight to someone who has done outstanding work recently can be a great way to break the ice.
Brainstorming session. Group brainstorming is another great way to get people to exchange ideas. You hit two birds with one stone – an icebreaker and an idea generator rolled into one!

The best icebreakers for training presentations and workshops are those that incentivize teamwork and learning skills. These icebreakers will help your team get to know each other better and work together in tandem.

Live polls. There are many apps that allow your audience to make live polls and display the results immediately. This is a great icebreaker, as it can be as serious or lighthearted as you want. You can use it to ask the audience’s mood, their favorite food, and how much they know about the topic at hand.
Word cloud. Just like a poll, a word cloud can be a great option to explore what your audience thinks about a prompt or concept you give them and to get the ball rolling. You can make them write down in groups, have them add their ideas to a board, or even make one through an app !
Problem-solution icebreaker. Present a real or hypothetical problem, and ask people to pitch in their solutions. You can ask them for their input individually, or you can divide them into pairs. As the saying goes, two heads are better than one.
Finish a puzzle together. This is great for group work as everyone can contribute. For example, you can give them a few pieces each, and they’ll then work as a team to complete the puzzle.
Pop quiz. This icebreaker is the best to keep your audience on their toes and on a learning mood. You can add it at the end of your presentation, before or after a coffee break, or even at the beginning to see how much previous knowledge your audience has.

Virtual presentation icebreakers

Not sharing a physical space can make breaking the ice even more of a challenge, especially since many icebreaker ideas would not fit an online presentation. So here you’ll find some icebreaker options that are specifically designed for virtual meetings!

Drawing battle. You don’t have to be a professional artist to enjoy this one! There are many apps and websites that allow you to add this game to your virtual meetings. Just propose a topic and let people try to guess what one of them is drawing! You can even divide them into teams to make it more interesting.
Try a virtual escape room. If you have time, try giving your audience this challenge to build cooperation and teamwork. It’s not only great for learning to work together but also to have fun and loosen up.
Count till 20. Your team must try to count to 20 by shouting one number each… but without agreeing in which order they’ll go. This icebreaker will definitely make people wake up, and probably also laugh as they try to avoid talking at the same time.
Emoji movies. Just like charades, your audience must try to guess the movie or book. But instead of someone acting, they must guess it from the emojis. It’s a great adaptation of a classic game for virtual meetings!

Fun icebreaker ideas for playful presentations

Icebreakers can also help your presentation be more playful and fun! If you like your icebreakers a little silly to make sure people loosen up their inhibitions, then take a look at these ideas.

The no smiles challenge. If you’re making a fun, playful presentation, a great way to make it even funnier is to tell people smiling and laughing aren’t allowed in your presentation. This will most likely have the opposite effect, making people even more ready to laugh at your jokes!
Human rock paper scissors. This is a fun, high-energy game, but may not be feasible for older participants. Check this video to see if this is something you can use in your presentation.

GIFs mood barometer. If you want your audience to be a little bit playful, having them share their mood as a GIF is the perfect way. If you want to keep some control of what they share, you can also use a live poll to give them options to choose from. It’s the perfect lightweight activity that still gives you valuable insights into your audience and their energy levels.
Bad jokes contest. The only thing funnier than a good joke is an extremely bad one. Have your audience try to use their best dad jokes on each other while avoiding laughing at the jokes of the rest.

10 Great Icebreaker Questions for Any Presentation

Sometimes simpler is better, and the easiest way to get people talking is to ask them to do so! These icebreaker questions will help your audience open up without taking much time or extra preparation.

If you could have any superpower, what would it be, and what would be your superhero name?
What's the most random piece of trivia you know and why?
What is the oddest job you ever had, and how did you end up working there?
If you could make a reality show, what would it be about?
What cartoon character would you like to hang out with?
Where is the most embarrassing place you ever fell asleep?
If they made a sitcom about your life, what would the theme song be?
What were the best and worst workshops/meetings/conferences you ever attended?
If the zombie apocalypse began, what three people in this meeting would you want on your team?
If you had to teach a class right now, what would the subject be?

As a speaker or presenter, it’s important that you prepare fun icebreakers for your audience. You want people to be comfortable not just with you, but with their neighbors and groupmates as well. The icebreakers in this list are just the tip of the iceberg concerning the wide array of possibilities you can choose from. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box and get creative with your icebreakers!

Need more time to prepare for your presentation? 24Slides has you covered!

Now that you’ve begun thinking about your presentation, and the best way to break the ice with your audience, you might wish to have more time to prepare for it. Luckily, 24Slides can help with that !

You can focus on your presentation’s content and how to make your audience as comfortable as possible, and 24Slides professional designers will tackle the visual aspects of it all. In less than 24 hours , you can get a custom-made, fully editable presentation that will wow your audience and make it even more memorable.

You might also find these articles interesting:

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31 Funny Icebreaker Jokes for Work Meetings

By: Angela Robinson | Updated: February 13, 2024

You found our list of funny icebreaker jokes for work meetings.

Icebreaker jokes are humorous lines that break down barriers between strangers and pave the way for communication in the workplace. Professionals often use jokes to break the ice as openers to speeches, networking events, sales pitches, or conversations with coworkers.

For speech writing, you may also be interested in employee appreciation quotes or inspirational quotes for work , and jokes for work .

This list of ideas includes:

humorous icebreakers
funny introduction jokes
good opening jokes
best ice breaker lines
jokes to break the ice
funny jokes for work meetings
sales jokes to break the ice
jokes about meetings

So, here is the list!

List of icebreaker jokes

From puns to plays on words to silly statements, here is a list of jokes you can use as conversation starters.

Funny ice breakers for speeches

We both have something in common. You don’t know what I’m going to say, and neither do I.
An employee is getting to know her new co-workers when the topic of her last job comes up. One co-worker asks why she left that job.” It was something my boss said,” the woman replied. “Why? What did he say?” the co-worker asked. “You’re fired.”
A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!” The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I’m still employed. I just can’t remember where.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a gin and … tonic.” “Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
I recently started speed reading. So far, I can read “War and Peace” in ten seconds. It’s only three words, but it’s a start.
I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.

Sales jokes to break the ice

My email password has been hacked. That’s the third time I’ve had to rename my cat.
I invented a new word! ….Plagiarism!
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
My boss just texted me: “Send me one of your funny jokes!” I texted him back: “I’m busy working. I’ll send one later.” “That’s hilarious,” he said. “Send another one!”
What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis!
You know what a clean desk is a sign of? A cluttered desk drawer.
My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
Two cows are in a field. The first one says, “Mooooo!” The second one replies, “that’s what I was going to say!”
A man enters a lawyer’s office and asks the lawyer: “Excuse me, how much do you charge?” The lawyer responds: “I charge $1,000 to answer three questions.” The man replies, “That’s a bit expensive isn’t it?” “Yes,” says the lawyer. “Now, what’s your third question?”

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Funny icebreaker jokes for work

Want to hear an icebreaker? Fat penguin
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, “Sure is hot in here, huh?” The other muffin screams “Aaaah! A talking muffin!”
I’ve only been fired from a job once. It was a calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
You know what can really ruin a Friday? Remembering it’s only Thursday.
Why did the frog take the bus to work today? His car got toad away.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a huge plus.
A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. The salesman asks him, “Do you want an aquarium?” The guy responds, “I don’t care what star sign it is!”
When does a joke become a “dad” joke? When the punchline is a parent.
I can’t take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him. I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
Two goldfish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing?!”
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
What washes up on very small beaches? Microwaves.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATHE!! BREATHEEEEE!!!!!

Comedian Victor Borge once said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” Starting conversations with strangers can be tough, but jokes can help eliminate jitters and establish instant camaraderie. Once the group overcomes the initial awkwardness, the real conversation begins.

Next, check out our list of fun icebreaker questions and a list of the best jokes for conference speeches .

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FAQ: Icebreaker jokes

Here are some of the most common questions and answers about icebreaker jokes.

What are icebreaker jokes?

Icebreaker jokes are jokes individuals use to start conversations with unfamiliar audiences on a positive and relaxed note. These lines are often used in the workplace and at meetings to break the ice.

What are some good icebreaker jokes?

Some good icebreaker jokes include:

These jokes are sure to elicit a chuckle or smile from the audience.

What are appropriate jokes for work?

The best jokes for work are clever and disarming but also professional. While some colleagues and clients might have a high tolerance for risque humor, it is always advisable to err on the side of caution and keep it clean. Though some clean jokes border on cheesy, the humor is sure to lighten the mood without making anyone angry or uncomfortable.

Author: Angela Robinson

Marketing Coordinator at teambuilding.com. Angela has a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing and worked as a community manager with Yelp to plan events for businesses.

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Top 66 Work-Appropriate Jokes to Lighten Up Your Workplace

By Ammar Ahmed

Published: January 22, 2024

Workplace Culture & Morale

Ammar Ahmed

Writer & Career Coach

Understanding the definition of “clean” and “appropriate” jokes in the workplace is crucial for maintaining a respectful environment. These jokes are free from offensive content, respecting diverse backgrounds and sensibilities. Humor in the workplace has significant benefits, including reduced stress and enhanced team bonding. The purpose of this article is to equip readers with a selection of enjoyable and work-appropriate jokes that align with these guidelines, aiming to boost morale and foster a positive workplace culture .

The Importance of Work-Appropriate Jokes

In today’s dynamic work settings, the importance of incorporating office-friendly humor is paramount. These light-hearted jokes serve as an effective tool for team-building, promoting camaraderie and connection among colleagues.

Moreover, humor serves as a valuable stress reliever, breaking the monotony of daily routines and creating a more relaxed, approachable atmosphere. When used judiciously, these jokes can enhance communication, promote a positive work culture, and even boost productivity by lightening the overall mood.

Understanding and utilizing the power of appropriate humor is key to cultivating a harmonious and lively workplace.

The Best / Funniest Work-Appropriate Jokes

Humor at the workplace not only breaks the ice but also builds bridges. The key is in the selection of jokes that are universally enjoyable and respectful. Below are two types of work-appropriate jokes, each accompanied by examples and a brief explanation.

1. Work-Appropriate “Joke of the Day” Ideas for an Office Board

These jokes are typically short, and clean, and often play on common workplace scenarios or general humor that most people can relate to. They should be easy to understand and should not target any specific group or individual to maintain a positive and inclusive office atmosphere.

I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kat ads. Talk about taking things literally!

I asked my boss if I could leave work early , and he said only if I made up the time. I said, “It’s 35 o’clock.”

I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay. He asked which companies, and I said, “Gas, Electric, and Cable.”

My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke. So, I put my paycheck on the first slide.

Why does a bride always cry at the wedding? Because she never marries the best man.

I asked the elevator why it was so good at its job. It said it’s all about the ups and downs.

2. Industry or Profession-Specific Jokes

Industry or profession-specific jokes are tailored to the unique experiences, terminology, and scenarios common in specific fields of work. These jokes resonate particularly well with individuals in those professions because they play on shared knowledge and experiences. They often involve industry jargon or situations that might be obscure to outsiders but hilarious to those in the know.

Let’s look at some examples across various industries:

For Lawyers:

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.

How does an attorney sleep? First, he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.

For Marketing Professionals:

Why don’t marketers like trampolines? They’re scared of high bounce rates.

Why was the marketer a bad gardener? He kept asking if the leads were growing.

What’s a marketer’s favorite drink? Brand-y.

How do you save a drowning marketer? Throw them a clickbait.

For Teachers:

Why did the teacher write on the window? She wanted the lesson to be very clear!

Why did the teacher get fired? He was always making bad puns.

Why did the teacher go to the beach? To test the waters.

For IT Professionals:

Why did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn’t get arrays.

Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because the light attracts bugs.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that’s a hardware problem.

For Doctors:

What’s the difference between a surgeon and a puppy? A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case they needed to draw blood.

What do you call a doctor who fixes websites? A URLologist.

How do doctors cure a sick bird? With tweetment.

3. Workplace Situation-Related Jokes

Workplace situation-related jokes focus on common experiences in office settings, such as meetings, lunch breaks, office politics, and the day-to-day happenings that anyone who has worked in an office can relate to. These jokes are great for lightening the mood and creating a shared sense of humor over the quirks of office life.

Let’s look at some examples:

Meeting-Related Joke:

How do you know if a meeting is well-organized? There are multiple escape routes.

Why do we keep having “quick meetings”? Because “eternal despair gatherings” didn’t catch on.

How do you call a meeting between gardeners? A plant.

Lunchtime Joke:

Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

What do you call a lunch break at a clock factory? Time to unwind.

Why don’t some employees eat at the cafeteria? The menu said “Lunch is on us.”

Teamwork Joke:

Teamwork is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.

What’s a team? A group of people who share the coffee machine.

Deadline Humor Joke:

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

Why was the deadline a good comedian? It always creeps up unexpectedly.

Email Overload Joke:

My email password has been hacked again. That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the cat.

Why don’t emails get hungry? Because they’re full of spam.

How does the email get to work? It logs in.

4. Work-Appropriate Jokes for Virtual Workplaces

Work-appropriate jokes for virtual workplaces are particularly relevant in the era of remote work and online collaboration. These jokes typically revolve around the unique experiences and challenges of working from home , such as technical issues, video conferencing, and the blending of personal and professional life in a virtual setting. They’re great for acknowledging and adding humor to the new norms of remote work .

Here are some examples:

Why did the video call get so tired? Because it had too many tabs open.

Why did the remote worker refuse to play hide and seek? Because good Wi-Fi is hard to find.

Why did the remote team fail at virtual hide and seek? Because everyone just turned off their cameras.

What’s a remote worker’s favorite outfit? A mullet outfit – business on top, pajamas on the bottom.

Why don’t virtual workers use ocean backgrounds? Because they don’t want to be under C-level.

I like to wrap myself in a blanket when I work from home. You could say I now work undercover.

Related Article: Virtual Meeting Etiquette: A Complete Guide

5. Funny One-Liner Jokes for Work

Funny one-liner jokes for work are brief, punchy, and deliver a quick dose of humor. They’re great for lightening the mood and can be easily shared among colleagues during a break or in a casual conversation. One-liners are designed to be instantly understandable and relatable, making them perfect for diverse workplace settings.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?

There should be confetti in tires so when there is a blow-out it’s still kind of an okay day.

I like jokes about stationery but rulers are where I draw the line.

I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

I don’t mind coming to work, it’s the eight-hour wait to go home that’s a bother.

The only thing wrong with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver .

6. Cheesy or Corny Jokes

Cheesy or corny jokes are characterized by their simplicity and often overly simplistic or predictable punchlines. They’re typically so straightforward and lacking in sophistication that they become endearing and amusing. These jokes are great for a light-hearted laugh and are usually very family-friendly, making them suitable for a wide range of audiences, including the workplace.

I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.

Why did one auto company attack another auto company? Automotive.

I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is this a trick question?

I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.

Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up.

What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.

I would tell a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.

7. Ice Breaker Jokes for Work Meetings

Ice breaker jokes for work meetings are designed to lighten the mood and ease participants into a more relaxed and open state of mind. These jokes are typically non-offensive, inclusive, and simple enough to be understood quickly. They can help to break down barriers and encourage a sense of camaraderie among colleagues.

I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”

I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.

– I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.

– A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!” The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”

I have a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.

Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

I like to practice magic. Last night, I was driving, and I turned into a driveway.

I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Guidelines for Telling Work-Appropriate Jokes

Incorporating humor into the workplace can be a fantastic way to create a more enjoyable and relaxed atmosphere. However, it’s essential to navigate this aspect thoughtfully to maintain professionalism and respect. Inappropriate jokes can lead to discomfort, misunderstandings, and even harm the work environment.

Here’s how to ensure your humor aligns with workplace appropriateness:

Consider the Audience and Context

Before sharing a joke, gauge your audience’s sensibilities and preferences. What might be funny in one setting could be inappropriate in another. It’s crucial to assess the diversity of your audience in terms of age, cultural background, and personal preferences. In certain situations, humor might be misinterpreted or considered unprofessional. During serious business meetings, client presentations, or performance reviews, it’s generally best to steer clear of jokes. Understanding the mood and context of the situation can guide you on when it’s appropriate to add humor. For example, a light joke can be a good icebreaker in team-building activities but might be out of place in more formal settings.

Avoid Sensitive Topics

Jokes about politics, religion, gender, ethnicity, or personal matters can easily cross the line into offensive territory. These topics are highly personal and sensitive, and joking about them can create an uncomfortable or hostile work environment. It’s important to remember that humor, even when well-intentioned, can sometimes perpetuate stereotypes or unintentionally offend.

Promote Inclusivity and Diversity

Choose jokes that everyone can enjoy, regardless of their background. The aim is to foster a sense of unity and mutual respect. Jokes should never single out an individual or a group in a way that could be perceived as derogatory or exclusionary. Inclusive humor celebrates our differences and shared experiences without marginalizing any group. This can be an opportunity to creatively engage with various perspectives and experiences in a positive, lighthearted way.

Maintain Professionalism

While humor can humanize and lighten the atmosphere, it’s vital to remember that the workplace is a professional setting. Jokes should never undermine the seriousness of work or disrespect the professional roles and responsibilities of colleagues. It’s also crucial to avoid jokes that could be misconstrued as unprofessional or that blur the boundaries of workplace decorum.

Respect Individual Boundaries

Be mindful that humor is subjective, and what is funny to some may not be to others. Pay attention to how your colleagues respond to humor and respect their boundaries. If someone doesn’t seem comfortable or interested in participating, it’s important to recognize and respect their preference. This also involves being open to feedback. If a colleague suggests that a certain type of joke is unwelcome, it’s crucial to take this feedback seriously and adjust your approach accordingly.

The key to successful humor in the workplace lies in being considerate, inclusive, and respectful. By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your jokes contribute positively to the work environment, enhancing camaraderie and morale while maintaining a respectful and professional atmosphere.

Other Ways to Spread Fun and Humor in the Workplace

Apart from work-appropriate jokes, there are numerous other ways to inject humor and fun into the work environment. These methods not only keep the atmosphere light but also foster team bonding and break the monotony of everyday tasks.

Humorous Memes and GIFs

Memes and GIFshave become a staple in digital communication and can effectively bring laughter to the workplace. Sharing light-hearted, relatable content via emails or workplace chat applications offers a quick smile or chuckle during the workday. However, it’s crucial to choose memes and GIFs that are in good taste and appropriate for a professional setting, avoiding anything potentially offensive or overly obscure.

Office Games

Introducing office games, both physical and digital, are fantastic for team building and adding a playful element to the work environment. Setting up board games in the break room or organizing interactive online games that can be played on platforms like Zoom can provide a much-needed break and encourage teamwork. These games can be simple, quick activities or part of more elaborate team-building exercises . Linking these games to articles or resources offering ideas for both in-person and virtual team activities can also be beneficial.

Themed Days

They add an element of excitement and creativity to the office. Whether it’s a ‘Retro Day’, ‘Superhero Day’, or any other fun theme, these events encourage employees to dress up and engage in light-hearted activities. When selecting themes, it’s important to ensure they are inclusive and considerate of all employees, so everyone feels comfortable participating. Involving the team in the planning of these themed days can enhance engagement and excitement, turning the planning process itself into a team bonding experience.

Incorporating these elements into the workplace can significantly boost morale and create a more dynamic, inclusive, and enjoyable work environment. This approach not only breaks the routine but also cultivates a positive company culture , making the workplace a more delightful and harmonious space for everyone.

Related Article: What to Do When Bored at Work: 13 Ideas

About the Author

22 Good Opening Jokes for a Speech: Kickstart Your Speech!

Do you know the value of using good opening jokes for a speech? Picture this: You’re about to give a speech. Butterflies fly in your stomach, the spotlight shines bright, and all eyes are on you. What’s the first thing you can do to light up the room? Crack a good joke , the audience laughs, and the tension dissolves. Suddenly, you’re not just a speaker, you can become a connector .

Speech opening is not just about getting a few chuckles; they’re about forging a bond with your audience, establishing yourself as a relatable human being, and setting a positive, engaging tone for your entire presentation. In short, they’re the secret weapon for captivating your listeners from the very first word.

But what makes a good opening joke, and how do you find one perfect for your speech? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. In this blog post, we’ll share 22 good opening jokes, and insider tips on tailoring your humour to any audience.

So, buckle up and get ready to discover the transformative power of using humour in speech opening!

Your Ultimate Arsenal: 22 Good Opening Jokes for a Speech

Whether you’re addressing a boardroom, a classroom, or a wedding party, we’ve got the perfect joke to kickstart your speech:

General Jokes:

The Self-Deprecating Starter: “Before I begin, I want to apologize for my voice today. I’ve been talking in my sleep…about this speech.”
The Observational One-Liner: “I was going to tell a joke about time travel, but you guys didn’t like it.”
The Tech-Savvy Quip: “I’m so nervous, my smart home just sent me a text saying ‘Good luck!'”
The Unexpected Pun: “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!”

Audience Participation Jokes:

The Classic Question: “By a show of hands, how many of you are awake right now?”
The Playful Challenge: “I bet I can make every one of you laugh in the next 5 minutes. Who’s in?”
The Honest Confession: “I’ve been practising this speech in front of my dog. So far, he’s not impressed. How about you?”

Topical Jokes:

The News Reference: “[Insert current event or trending topic]…and that’s why I’m giving this speech, not running for president.”
The Local Reference: “I heard the traffic in [city/town name] was bad. But this? This is a parking lot of attention! Thanks for coming.”

Story-Based Jokes:

The ‘Relatable Struggle’ Opener: “I spent hours preparing this speech. So if you get bored, it’s on you.”
The Lighthearted Anecdote: “On my way here, I asked Siri for good opening jokes for a speech. She just laughed.”

Wordplay Jokes:

The Classic Pun: “I’m not sure how I got here…must have been my UberPun.”
The Play on Words: “Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!”

Clever/Unexpected Jokes:

The Metaphor: “Giving a speech is like riding a bicycle. Except the bicycle is on fire, and you’re on fire, and everything is on fire.”
The ‘Breaking the Fourth Wall’ Joke: “I’m not sure what’s more nerve-wracking, giving this speech or watching everyone pretend to listen.”

BONUS Jokes:

A diverse group of people laughing at a speaker's joke during a presentation.

The ‘Unexpected Twist’ Joke: “I promise to keep this speech short…so short, it’ll be over before you know it…or maybe not.”
The ‘Pop Culture’ Reference: “This speech is like a Netflix series…I hope it’s binge-worthy.”
The ‘Observational Humor’ Opener: “I’m not sure why they call it public speaking. It feels more like public sweating to me.”
The ‘Self-Aware’ Joke: “I know what you’re thinking: ‘Is this speech going to be as long as his introduction?’ I’ll try not to disappoint.”
The ‘Light-Hearted Complaint’ Opener: “I’m not sure why I agreed to give this speech. I’m not even good at talking to myself in the shower.”
The ‘Classic One-Liner’: “I’m so glad to be here. I’d rather be anywhere else, but I’m glad to be here.”
The ‘Audience Compliment’ Opener: “I have to say, you all look much better than my last audience. That was a group of taxidermied squirrels.”

Beyond the Jokes: Crafting a Speech That Resonates

Good opening jokes for a speech are just the beginning. To captivate your audience, you need to weave your humour seamlessly into a well-structured presentation. That means crafting a compelling introduction, developing your key points with clarity and impact, and delivering a conclusion that leaves a lasting impression.

For expert guidance on crafting a speech that truly resonates, be sure to check out our complete guide on speech structure . You’ll discover proven techniques for organizing your thoughts, crafting powerful language, and delivering your message with confidence and charisma.

Conclusion: Your Speech, Your Story, Your Success

Remember, a good opening joke is more than just a funny line; it’s a bridge that connects you to your audience, establishes rapport, and sets the stage for a memorable experience. So, embrace the power of humour, experiment with different jokes, and find your unique comedic voice. With a little practice and the right tools, you’ll be delivering speeches that not only inform and inspire but also leave your audience laughing, engaged, and eager to hear more.

The floor is yours. Go out there and make them laugh! Read our guide, if you want to know more about how to write a powerful speech opening .

Watch the following YouTube video to gain insight into the benefits of using good opening jokes for a speech.

Best icebreakers jokes to start a meeting

Me: “Titanic.”

You: “What?”

Me: “Sorry, that was a terrible icebreaker.”

Kicking off a meeting, presentation, or interview with a joke is an excellent way to grab attention and set the stage for your message.

Jokes don’t just make people laugh; they also create social bonds. A good icebreaker can relax the room, boost endorphins, and encourage more lively and productive discussions. It also makes people more receptive to your ideas.

What Makes a Joke Funny?

It’s not just about being naturally funny. Timing and knowing your audience are crucial. There’s no magic formula, but the fun lies in the delivery and context.

Salute with Humor

Instead of a mundane “How are you?”, spice up your greetings. Try “Did you know that the Matrix code is derived from sushi recipes?” or “These days, comedians report the news, and the media tell the jokes.”

Or how about: “What did the necktie say to the hat? ‘You go on ahead. I’ll just hang around.’” Did that crack a smile?

If not, here’s a classic: “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.”

Start a Meeting with Style

Meetings can be tense. Lightening the mood with a joke like, “I threw a boomerang a few years ago. Now I live in constant fear,” can keep everyone engaged.

“What did the right eye say to the left eye? Between us, something smells!” Or, “Everyone is gifted, some people just never open their package.”

If jokes aren’t your thing, interesting facts can also captivate your audience. Or try, “Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.”

Make Your Speeches Fun

Enhancing your speech with humor can be more engaging than any smartphone. “I thought I’d start by reading a Shakespeare poem, but then I realized he’d never read one of mine.”

Or, “What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look now, I’m changing.”

“Why are penguins socially awkward? They struggle to break the ice.”

Make Your Presentations Memorable

Insert a joke slide to recapture your audience’s attention. “How do you make an egg laugh? Tell it a yolk.”

Or try, “Do you know what really bugs me? Discreetly placed microphones.” Or, “What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo? Big holes all over Australia!”

Facing Large Groups

“A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove you don’t need it.” Or, “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice.”

“What can you hold without touching it? A conversation.”

Joking in Small Groups

With a smaller, familiar audience, you might try, “You don’t need a parachute to skydive. You need a parachute to skydive twice.”

Or, “Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.”

Adapt your jokes to your experiences for authenticity. Remember, light humor is generally well-received, but timing is key, and it’s critical to remain appropriate and not offend anyone.

Keep your icebreaker jokes short to retain focus. And, pick jokes wisely — dad jokes and puns are usually safe bets.

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Jokes For Public Speaking - Lighten The Mood ... Laugh A Little

Jokes for public speaking are an amazing weapon in your arsenal as you strive for really advanced presentation skills .

Why is public speaking important and why do we need to minimize public speaking fear ?

In a nutshell - public speaking is today's "must have" life skill" - for every one ... not just for motivational speakers !

So, keep those nerves under control, lighten the mood and laugh a little.

Our suggestions and words of wisdom for incorporating public speaking jokes in great funny speeches will soon have you more relaxed and ready to write your own public speaking book !

Hey ... check it out!

Click on the first few and they will take you straight to a free written speech that shows you how to use jokes for public speaking creatively and effectively in your speech.

Someone once said that the best audience is one that is intelligent, well-educated and ... a little drunk ! If that is the case - then I have definitely got an amazing audience here tonight.

Lord Reading offered the following advice on presenting a speech: "Always be shorter than anyone dared to hope!" and tonight, Ladies and Gentlemen, you may be very hopeful!

Franklin D. Roosevelt said: "Be sincere; be brief; be seated" .

"I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it - at my age...I'm very pleased to be anywhere!" - George Burns

Now, I've been told that a successful speech needs to have a great introduction and a memorable ending - and that both of these should both be close together with not too much in between .

So, Ladies and Gentlemen, to reiterate what King Henry said to each of his many wives ... "I shall not keep you long!"

"It's quite simple. Say what you have to say and when you come to a sentence with a grammatical ending, sit down!" - Winston Churchill

" Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary." - John Fitzgerald Kennedy

"According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking . Number two is death! Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy !" - Jerry Seinfeld

" The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops ... until you stand up to speak in public ." - George Jessel

"There are two things that are more difficult than making an after dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning towards you and kissing a girl who is leaning a way from you." - Winston Churchill

"Unaccustomed as most people are to public speaking ... they still insist on doing it!" - Unknown

"Make sure that you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening! " - Dorothy Sarnoff

"The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you have got it made!" - Jean Giraudoux

"There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave ... and the one you wish you gave." - Dale Carnegie

Jokes for public speaking - a secret weapon whether you are attending public speaking courses , searching for public speaking online or just trying to address your anxiety public speaking .

Some final words of wisdom ... "No one ever complains about a speech being too short." - Ira Hayes

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16 Funny Quotes to Start Your Next Business Presentation

Searching for a humorous way to start a presentation look no further..

y combinator, startup school, audience, speech, ashton kutcher

Scrambling to create a business presentation ? Here's a tip. Start with a slide showing a series of funny quotes just to warm up the room. It makes people realize your talk is not going to be a total borefest and you plan to keep things lively. Here are my favorite quips that you can borrow--just cut and paste the ones you like into your slides.

1. "Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader , who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes." Dave Barry

2. "Eagles soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Steven Wright

3. "I don't want yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell the truth, even if it costs them their jobs." Samuel Goldwyn

4. "Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train." Jim Halpert, The Office

5. "It's much easier for me to make major life, multimillion-dollar decisions than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That's the truth." Oprah Winfrey

6. "Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders." Sloan Wilson

7. "The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts." Anonymous

8. "The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." Oscar Wilde

9. "Few great men would have got past personnel." Paul Goodman

10. "The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate you away from those who are still undecided." Casey Stengel

11. "The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management." Scott Adams (Dilbert)

12. "Every time you feel yourself being pulled into other people's drama, repeat these word: Not my circus, not my monkeys." Polish Proverb

13. "My boss doesn't believe that money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac." JokeQuote.com

14. "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't." Margaret Thatcher

15. "Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women." Groucho Marx

16. "If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." Attributed to Henry Ford

A refreshed look at leadership from the desk of CEO and chief content officer Stephanie Mehta

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9 Killer Speech Openers to Start a Talk or Presentation.

Danny Riley 8 min read

What you’ll learn:

The importance of a “killer” speech opening.
9 powerful speech openers and how to use them.
Examples from great speakers you can learn from.

Great speech openers hook your audience.

“ Well begun is half done” – Mary Poppins.

A killer speech opener will make the difference between a presentation that makes you soar or your audience snore .

I’ve researched the whole web to find nine killer speech openers to make your audience lean in and listen rather than tune out and daydream.

You’ll see how masters of the craft have used them, and how you can too.

Number seven takes chutzpah to pull off. Ready for the whole list of killer speech openers?

The Shock Opener

One of the best ways to open your speech with a buzz is to startle or shock them.

You can shock an audience in many ways, but they all rest on the major senses of V.A.K.S:

Visual
Kinaesthetic (touch)

We don’t want your audience tasting your talk, but it should leave a good taste in their mouths.

Changing Minds suggests asking if the audience is awake after appearing from a flash bang and a cloud of smoke, and this might work for you if you’re a magician or playing some kind of character for your speech like a genie.

Suppose you aren’t going for the magic angle.

In that case, you can shock them on a psychological level instead, as Conor Neill recommends, and tell your audience a surprising fact or statistic that makes them question their thinking or beliefs.

“Did you know that half the water on earth is older than the sun?”

Questions like these will shake an audience awake and turn on their critical thinking nervous-system.

Don’t take my word for it; you can see an incredible demonstration of the shock opener in Mohammed Qahtani’s speech, The Power of Words .

Qahtani opens by taking out a cigarette and placing it into his mouth before trying to light it. The audience is so shocked that they gasp and tell him to stop.

Remember, if your audience is shocked, they are listening.

Your audience doesn’t always have to be jolted to attention with a shock opener, though you can use a more subtle approach to grab their focus.

Ready to speak with confidence ? We offer virtual & in-person coaching.

The story opener.

You can set the tone of your speech instantly with a story .

In Hollywood, filmmakers and directors use an ‘establishing shot’ to set the tone and theme of the entire film.

When creating your speech, think of a short story that sums up your talk.

Maybe you tell half the story to begin with, and then the other half at the end.

The important thing is your tale must be relatable . If your audience can’t imagine themselves in the story, they won’t be engaged.

We all experience very similar things in life:

We all went to school and had a teacher we loved
We all have parents who loved us or made mistakes in our upbringing
We all had a first crush.

We are all cut from the same cloth, so it’s good to be reminded that others are going through what we face or think as we do.

Bryan Stevenson does a stellar job of recounting his mischievous grandmother in his TED talk, We need to talk about an injustice .

The best thing is, you can combine a story-opener with any other speech opener in this list.

It’s truly versatile.

One of my favourite speech openers is next, though.

The Intrigue Opener

I love this speech opener.

What better way to hook your audience than to intrigue them with mystery or a juicy secret?

Have a look at Daniel Pink’s TED Talk The puzzle of motivation . After he begins, Pink, looking like a guilty man sent to the gallows, tells his audience:

“I need to confess something, at the outset here. A little over 20 years ago, I did something I regret. Something I’m not particularly proud of”.

Wow. How intriguing, right?

You have to admit; you want to know what he’s about to confess.

Choose every sentence, every word, and every mark of punctuation to increase the tantalisation temperature.

Whether it’s a secret or confession, the Intrigue Opener piques just enough curiosity in your audience to keep them from checking WhatsApp.

As humans, we need closure.

We do not like open loops.

That’s why it is both enthralling and aggravating when someone plays on our need to be sure.

Just as we cannot stand an open loop, we are instantly engaged when someone gives us a puzzle to solve.

You’ll notice the best speeches, books, TV shows, and films do not spoon-feed you all the information.

I’ve always liked the way Malcolm Gladwell writes his non-fiction books, because they contain puzzles that you solve as a reader.

This puzzle needs to be related to the speech or presentation you’re delivering, of course. It cannot be a random puzzle and will ideally be impossible or extremely difficult to solve at first.

After the speech begins, and the puzzle is revealed, you should slowly drop hints on how to solve the mystery.

Up next, speech openers that use a physical object to create curiosity in the audience’s mind.

The Prop Opener

One of the most potent ways you will captivate your audience is to use a powerful prop in your opening address.

What better way to capture an audience’s imagination than to show them a mysterious or beautiful object?

If you’ve never seen the Prop Opener done well, then have a look at one of the greatest speeches of all time:

Dananjaya Hettiarachchi’s, See Something .

Danajaya enters with a simple rose in his breast pocket, takes it out, gazes at it nostalgically, smells it and then begins to speak.

This same prop appears again right at the end of his speech to end his talk with a flourish.

There are many different props you can use.

JJ Abrams used a Mystery Box to absorb the audience’s attention, and used the box as a metaphor for his entire career.

If you think the prop opener is just for TED Talks and Toastmasters Final Speeches, remember that most company product launch centre around one or more props.

Steve Jobs revealed his new products in ever-innovative ways.

Still, while the last two speeches I’ve mentioned opened with physical items, most of Jobs’s presentations built intrigue through the sight of the product.

So remember, you can use an object, or tease your audience with the absence of a prop, but make that prop integral to your talk.

You don’t always have to use a prop, of course.

A more minimalist approach to opening your speech uses the best audience reaction a speaker can receive: laughter.

The Funny Opener

Using laughter to win over your audience is the golden ticket to immediate rapport with your audience.

Jack Schafer, PhD at Psychology Today, said that People Will Like You If You Make Them Laugh , which seems obvious, but at least you know we have scientists on the case.

He also mentions that constructing humour requires and projects a high level of intelligence .

Of course, laughter is subjective, but it is also infectious, and if you get enough members of your audience to titter, it will spread across the whole group.

If you want to see just how quickly you can win an audience over with humour, have a look at Ken Robinson’s subtle but delightful ability to raise a chuckle in his speech Do Schools Kill Creativity?

Ken’s ability to speak conversationally to an audience of thousands is genuinely remarkable.

If you break down his humour, it is easy to see how you could include similar content in your presentations.

Whether you can pull it off as well as Ken is another story.

Not everyone feels like they can be a comedian, though; I get that.

Well, that’s alright because there are other ways to open your talk that play on other strong emotions.

You can inspire your audience, too.

The Inspirational Opener

One of my favourite ways to help beginner speakers to open their presentation is with a quote.

A quote acts like a story in that it sets the tone and theme of your speech, but it takes much less effort and even less skill.

An effective quote is usually only one line long and supported by the credibility of the original author who uttered those words.

Watch the way Clint Smith opens his TED Talk The Danger of Silence .

Using Martin Luther King’s voice to start his speech gives Clint what psychologists call the transference effect .

Just by citing someone else, especially someone admired and famous, you redirect the emotions an audience have towards that person onto yourself.

One caveat to using quotes, though:

Fact check them . I cringe whenever I see someone incorrectly quoting someone.

Have you ever heard the quote by Albert Einstein:

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results”?

A great quote, isn’t it?

But Albert Einstein never said those words .

A quick check on Reuters will help you add more credibility to your inspirational opener.

Finally, try to use a quote few people have ever heard. Inspiring words have been filling the archives of history for millennia. Seek out something that has been left dusty on the shelf, rather than the same recycled iterations.

Next, let’s look at a type of bold speech opener that take real chutzpah to land well.

The Perspective Shift Opener

A powerful speech opener that will take confidence is the perspective shift opener.

This opener will lead the audience in one direction before changing direction and setting a new pace for the speech.

Cameron Russel does a fantastic job of controlling the frame in her TED Talk, Looks aren’t everything. Believe me; I’m a model.

Russel takes to the stage dressed in a skimpy dress and begins to tell the audience about her career, but then does a rapid wardrobe change on stage in front of the entire audience.

This change of dress sets a new tone, feel, and direction for the speech.

If you can change the audience’s perspective or frame of reality, you are in the driving seat.

One of the best things you can hope for as a speaker is moving hearts and changing minds.

If you aren’t a confident speaker, start small.

Vanessa Van Edwards suggests never mentioning how nervous you are.

It’s distracting and makes the audience pick up on all the subtle nervous energy and cues you give off. Control the frame instead and act cool and confident: they will buy into it.

Another great way to hold frame control over an audience is by using the power of silence .

The Silence Opener

Silence is a valuable commodity in today’s noisy and distracting digital world.

Creating silence at the beginning of your talk can profoundly affect your audience and their focus.

Did you ever have a teacher at school who used silence effectively?

When my English classmates were noisy, our teacher Mr Rylance would hold up his hand for silence.

Slowly, we would settle down and focus on his raised hand.

A few would giggle, but that would peter out until we all sat in a hypnotic stillness.

If you want to see an example of how to use silence, then look at Neal Glitterman’s speech The Power of Silence .

You can see how much gravity silence can have , especially as a speech opener.

The final killer opener I want to introduce you to is the big promise opener.

The Big Promise Opener

I believe that all speeches and presentations should contain a big promise, as it tells your audience why they should keep on listening.

Ideally, your big promise will be your speech title or phrase that pays, which is a recurring foundational phrase you will use throughout your presentation.

A big promise is your way of making a deal with the audience : you listen to me, and you’ll get something in return.

Creating a big promise at the beginning of your speech is like adding a teaser trailer to the beginning of a TV show. It suggests a reason you should stick around.

When Arthur Benjamin introduces his talk Faster than a calculator by announcing:

“I am a human calculator!”

You know that proof is on the way.

Remember the essential rule of the Big Promise Opener: make it big, and keep your promise.

Impress your audience with these killer speech openers.

I hope you feel that I kept my promise of sharing nine killer speech openers to start a presentation.

Did you notice any other speech openers at the beginning of this article?

Don’t forget; these openers can be mixed and matched.

You can include a number of these speech openers in the same presentation to create more impact.

Let me know which of these killer openers was your favourite, and let me know if you have any more you’d like to share.

To your public speaking success,

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Speech Jokes

One day, albert einstein was on his way to a science convention for a speech., what is the difference between a joe biden speech and a donald trump speech, my oscars speech, what’s the difference between someone who doesn’t understand figures of speech, and a burglar, why don't birds prepare for speeches, stalin was giving a speech, i’ve always believed that a good speech is like a girls mini skirt…, a man with a speech impediment sits down for a job interview, stalin is giving a speech, and someone sneezes., melania trump's speech, my last best man's speech was like the marriage.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stalin is giving a big public speech...

It was getting crowded in heaven one day, so saint peter decided for one day to only accept people who could make him laugh., vladimir putin confronts his speechwriter after giving a speech., when i was a child a police officer came to our school and gave a speech on drugs., in 1940 goebbels made a speech..., a soviet joke about censorship that i found in my school book, a dwarf with a speech impediment goes into a stud farm, 'i'd like to buy a horth' he says to the owner of the farm., an environmentalist was giving a speech and told his audience that if we continue on our present course all life on earth will be gone in 50 years, student: can i borrow a pencil, a small person with a speech impediment was thinking about purchasing a mare for his stable., stalin is giving a speech in front of a large audience., in a speech two days ago, prime minister theresa may has announced that she plans to delay brexit, in the hopes that the uk leaves with her deal on 22 may, so my friend told me he needed some help to recognize speech..., what speech did abraham lincoln give when he went to italy, why is reddit the best place for freedom of speech, what did melania trump say to her speech writer, i don't understand why obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass., a three legged chicken. (said in a ronald reagan speech.), how do i know china has free speech, speech therapy needed, i just heard a speech on how to use your eyelids, there is freedom of speech in china, a shy priest greets the wedding guests to the chapel. he's very nervous and doesn't say much., what did gordon ramsey say to the lion with a speech impediment, einsteinium, free speech in china, which monster is best at paying attention to a speech, the elder statesman was giving his farewell speech., to be fair hillary once took someone's speech., america is racist, 11 people on a rope, dwarf with a speech impediment wants to buy a horse, joseph stalin was giving a speech in front of his comrades, joseph stalin is giving a speech to his army., a racist man called me a terrorist for having long hair, a long beard, and being middle eastern., what's an italian chef's favorite speech, three men enter a bar in the ussr. one says, "why did stalin only write in lowercase" the other one says, "because he was afraid of capitalism.", the last time i did any public speaking was the valedictorian speech in high school., a man giving a long-winded speech finally says,…., what math class does a tree with a speech disorder take, nobel award winning physicist and his limo driver, i gave an emotional speech at my conjunctivitis support group the other day., my eight year old nephew said he had a joke:, during stalin's speech, someone has sneezed, greta thunberg should really mention this sub reddit in her next public speech, donald trump had a great inauguration speech, political speeches are like steer horns: a point here, a point there,, free speech, what happened to the kitchen robber with a speech impediment, i hate my speech problems, what do the scottish call a speech impediment, what did microsoft employees say to bill gates after his motivational speech, in the middle of his administration, president trump went to give a speech to a prison…, did you see trump's rose garden speech, comrade stalin is giving a speech..., stalin is in a huge auditorium giving a speech,, good thing kennedy was in berlin when he made his famous speech,, a joke my russian friend told..., a man with a huge penis walks into the docs office..., shoutout to hitler’s speech proofreader, an american man went to his lawyer, pulled down his pants, started masturbating furiously and asked: "doesn't this constitute free speech, if you think about it", sex with me is like scott frank's emmy speech, free speech - west vs east, my wife was giving a speech at her parents’ wedding anniversary, and my phone battery ran out in the middle of recording it., an englishman ,a scotsman and an irishman are all going to give speeches to the deaf society and are keen to make an impression on their audience…, the person who proofread hitler's speeches...., a rich man died and left $2 million each to a rabbi, a priest, and an imam, a good way to start a speech at a pornography actors christmas party…, political speeches, is there freedom of speech in north korea, speech impediment, after hearing a speech on how to motivate employees,, i'm gonna make a movie about a man with a speech impediment during world war 2, a boy with a speech problem goes shopping., i had to present a speech about stds today., i was asked to speak at a club for helping people with premature ejaculation. i asked what i should wear to the speech:, khrushchev was giving a speech when a heckler in the audience shouted "why did you never speak out against stalin", an american spy is in soviet russia, digging up information on a powerful russian politician. he finds him in a bar, walks in dressed in russian attire, pretending to be russian. everybody in the bar looks at him, but he keeps his cool. he orders a drink and walks to the politician..., michelle obama gave a great speech last night, i recently went to a comedy restaurant, and there was a chicken with a speech impediment on stage..., aristotle, plato and socrates walk into a café during the decline of the greek empire., people who continue to copy my speeches shall suffer..., melania trump's speech:, a kid with a speech impediment is trick or treating on halloween..., melania trumps rnc speech just leaked on live tv, someone sneezes during stalin's speech., a kid with a speech impediment spends his entire childhood in speech therapy., twitter has banned "foreign spy" as hate speech., a speech to remember, stalin is giving a speech ..., when is the speech therapy class, donald trump's speeches can travel faster than the speed of light, just finished editing an article on freedom of speech, i also remember my grandfather's last words. he was very weak, bedridden in hospital, and had lost the power of speech. he had signalled for me to give him paper and a pencil. he died right after writing it., what did the sick pony say before giving a speech, an engineer is giving a lecture at the local college..., i gave a speech at a school for those with hearing impairments, doctor: i was told you have some kind of speech disorder. how bad is it, i beat up my friend with a speech impediment., well, at least we learned one thing about trump from his speech this morning..., a young boy has a speech impediment, at the 1980 olympics, brezhnev begins his speech., in china we guarantee our citizens the freedom of speech, the prime minister's speech writer has resigned., a man with a speech impediment is walking along the road, the speech therapist, how is a speech impediment like a box of chocolates, best man speech joke help, baby, i've got to give you a speech, a man with a speech impediment goes on a dating website.., did you hear about the mormon cat with a speech impediment, hitler was doing a speech..., man with a speech impediment goes shopping..., my college acceptance speech:, what did the magician with a speech impediment say to the fisherman, a man with a speech impediment is out and about..., the speech trump gave was inspiring....

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4 Reasons Not to Start Your Presentation With a Joke

By gilda bonanno.

In my presentation skills training programs, people often ask me, "Should I start my presentation with a joke?" My immediate response is "No!"

Now I'm a fan of humor as much as anyone – and in fact, probably more than most people, since I've been performing onstage with an improv comedy group for the last 6 years and I've incorporated improv comedy rules and ideas into my communication skills/leadership training programs.

(Improv does not involve telling memorized jokes, however, but instead requires you to be in the moment and spontaneously respond to audience suggestions and whatever your fellow performers on stage have offered. Applied to speaking, improv helps you connect with the audience, remain fully in the moment and trust that you've prepared enough to handle the unexpected – from a technical glitch to an unanticipated question to a fire alarm.)

So here are 4 reasons why I don't recommend starting a presentation by telling a memorized joke:

1. A joke is difficult to get right.

Great jokes are all about timing and delivery. Expert comedians like Jerry Seinfeld work for hours to perfect a joke and decide which words to use, where to put the emphasis and how long to pause before delivering the punch line. Telling a joke right is a lot of pressure to put on yourself at the start of the speech, especially when you already are feeling nervous.

If you're a stand-up comedian performing for 15 minutes, you can afford to flub a few jokes. However, if you're giving a presentation and the joke is your opening, it's hard to recover from a joke gone wrong and from that awkward silence during which the audience wonders if they're supposed to laugh.

Speaking is not about perfection – it's about communication – and perfection is unrealistic and unnecessary. But jokes require you to be near-perfect, especially if it's your opening line and your only joke.

2. They've heard it before.

Unless you have your own personal joke writer (and if you'd like to hire someone to write funny lines for you, I recommend speakers/comedians/humorists David Glickman and Ron Culberson www.funnierspeeches.com ), you probably get your jokes from the Internet. And if it's a funny joke, that probably means that someone in your audience has read it in their email inbox. And if the joke is specific to a particular industry, the chance is even greater that many people have read it or heard it before.

A key element of humor is the element of surprise, whether it's an unexpected juxtaposition of words or events, a twist in the ending of the story or an unanticipated punchline. If people in the audience have heard the joke before, you lose the power of surprise. And telling a stale joke could brand you as "same old, same old" rather than as a unique individual with a fresh perspective on the topic.

3. You will offend someone.

While you probably wouldn't start your presentation with "a rabbi, a minister and a priest walk into a bar…" because of its obvious inappropriateness for most audiences, there are few jokes and types of humor that are universally inoffensive. Especially given the cultural, religious and ethnic diversity of our audiences, it's difficult to imagine a clean, funny and appropriate joke that is a safe bet for every audience.

And there's no real way to know if people are offended by your joke, unless they tell you. Just because people laugh doesn't mean they are not offended or hurt by the joke – sometimes, they give in to the social pressure to laugh, while inwardly feeling upset and even angry.

Beginning your presentation by alienating people in the audience will not help you communicate effectively.

4. Even if you get it right AND they haven't heard it before AND it doesn't offend anyone, it might be irrelevant.

Even if all else goes well, your joke might be viewed by the audience as irrelevant. They may laugh, but be unsure why you told it and how it relates to your message. Even if you think it's obviously and directly relevant to your presentation, they still might be confused about its purpose. And it's never a good idea to start off by confusing the audience.

So the next time you have to give a presentation, remember these 4 concerns. And unless, you can successfully address all of them, resist the urge to start with a joke you found online and you'll have a better chance of being effective.

Gilda Bonanno is a speaker, trainer and coach who helps people from all walks of life improve their communication and presentation skills.

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24 Best Senior Jokes For 2024

Let’s face it, as we age, some things get a little stiffer (like our knees), but our love of laughter shouldn’t! Because a good chuckle is like a mini-vacation for your stress, a wrinkle relaxer for your face, and – some scientists may argue – the secret ingredient to eternal youth (okay, maybe not eternal, but definitely more enjoyable). Here are 24 jokes to keep you laughing through 2024.

I told my grandkids I was reading a book on anti-gravity. They asked if it was any good. I said, “It’s impossible to put down!”

My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness. i replied, “no, we all seem to enjoy it quite a bit.”, my knees predict the weather better than the meteorologist, and they’re more accurate too, i’ve finally reached the age where my back goes out more than i do., my wife asked me to whisper those three little words she loves to hear. so i said, “hearing aid batteries.”, an old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself gently, painfully, up onto a stool… after catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. the waitress asked kindly, ‘crushed nuts’ ‘no,’ he replied, ‘arthritis.’, you know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. – bob hope, a woman on the phone to her friend: “i feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so i got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising…. i decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. i bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. but, by the time i got my leotards on, the class was over.”, the good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once., you know you’re getting old when the rocking chair feels like a roller coaster., knock, knock..

Who’s there?

A little old lady.

A little old lady who?

I had no idea you could yodel.

Older people shouldn’t eat healthy food. They need all the preservatives they can get.

What is grandpa’s bedtime.

One hour after falling asleep on his rocking chair.

My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had.

For some reason, she woke up bald and with a bad attitude.

Why can’t you take pictures of old men with walking sticks?

You take pictures with cameras, not walking sticks!

What do you get when you freeze dentures?

What are the three signs of old age.

Being forgetful.

Why did Grandma put wheels on her rocking chair?

So she could rock and roll.

How did Grandma get Grandpa to stop biting his nails?

She hid his dentures.

What did the old man say before he kicked the bucket?

“How far do you think I can kick the bucket?”

An old couple was sitting in Church and the wife noticed that people were staring at her.

She leaned across to her husband and whispered, “I’ve just let go a silent fart. What do you think I should do?”

He said, “I think you should get fresh batteries for your hearing aid.”

How are stars like false teeth?

They both come out at night.

You know you are old when you’re told to slow down by your doctor and not the police.

Do you want to know the secret to getting a smoking hot body at your age.

Read Next: 20 Meaningful Questions That Will Bring You Closer to Your Elderly Loved Ones

25 Patriotic Senior Jokes for This 4th of July

2022’s best senior jokes about the 4th of july, free senior resources, the ultimate guide to retirement communities, 5 health conditions that affect baby boomers and 5 ways to avoid them, ultimate estate planning checklist & guide, guide to adult day care, change location, find awesome listings near you.

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Presentation Opening Jokes

74 presentation opening jokes and hilarious presentation opening puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about presentation opening that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Short Presentation Opening Jokes

Presentation Opening One Liners

More Presentation Opening Jokes

Funniest Presentation Opening Short Jokes

Short presentation opening jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The presentation opening humour may include short opening presentation jokes also.

I bought my wife a fridge as an anniversary present. I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
What did the handless boy get for Christmas? glove . Just kidding, he's still trying to open his present.
Birthday present for my Wife. I have bought my wife a fridge for her birthday. I can't wait to see her little face light up when she opens it.
I bought my girlfriend a fridge for valentine's day.. A bit of an unconventional present, I know! But you should have seen her face light up when she opened it.
What present did the kid with no hands get? Gloves. Ha! Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.
What did the guy without hands get for christmas? We don't know, he hasn't opened the present yet
My wife opened one of her birthday presents early, saying that it was "practically screaming out at her" That's the last time I buy her an orphan
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? No one knows, he hasn't opened his presents yet.
Do you know what the kid with no hands got for Christmas? Me neither. He couldn't open his presents.
what did the man with no hands get for christmas? gloves. haha just kidding he hasnt even opened his present yet

Share These Presentation Opening Jokes With Friends

Which presentation opening one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with presentation opening? I can suggest the ones about speech opening and speeches opening.

I bought my mom a fridge as birthday present Her face really lit up when she opened it.
People said opening my present would be challenging Turns out it was a piece of cake
What do you call presents after you've opened them? Pasts
Asked for a Bitcoin for Christmas Opened up my present to find a quarter with a bite mark
When is the best time to open a gift? Right now. There's no time like the present.
Whats the best time to open gifts? The present.
"Aww...Nuts" Said the squirrel when she opened her birthday present.
The best time to open a gift is the present.
Women are like presents. Once I've opened them, I can see if they're useful.
Opened up a present at Christmas and got a packet of rice... Thanks uncle Ben...
When do Germans open their christmas presents? After nein

Hilarious Fun Presentation Opening Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about presentation opening you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean meeting opening jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make presentation opening pranks.

A man wanted Valentine's Day to be special, so he bought a bottle of absinthe and stopped by the florist's to order a bouquet of his wife's favorite flower: white anemones. Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a few stems of feathery ferns. The man asked the florist to make a bouquet out of the ferns and the flask of liquor. He added a card and proceeded home. After a romantic candlelight dinner, he presented his wife with the gift. She opened the card to read, "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder." With a tear in her eye, she whispered to him lovingly, "Yes, and with fronds like these, who needs anemones."

An eminent doctor successfully attended a sick child.

A few days later, the grateful mother called on the physician. After expressing her realization of the fact that his services had been of a sort that could not be fully paid for, she continued: "But I hope you will accept as a token from me this purse which I myself have embroidered." The physician replied very coldly to the effect that the fees of the physician must be paid in money, not merely in gratitude, and he added: "Presents maintain friendship: they do not maintain a family." "What is your fee?" the woman inquired. "Two hundred dollars," was the answer. The woman opened the purse, and took from it five $100 bills. She put back three, handed two to the discomfited physician, then took her departure.

A younboy gave his mum a big wrapped up birthday present on a Saturday.

She opened it up and it was a tea p**.... She said "What a wonderful tea port darling - thank you." The boy said "That's good." Mum said "However I already have a tea p**...." The boy replied "No you haven't - I broke it."

The Orinthologist

An orinthologist comes to give a presentation. He settles in, and says, "Good afternoon. I'm glad you all could make it. Today we will be discussing the mating habits of the tufted titmouse." The only Indian man in the room stands up from his seat, his hand raised, and says, "Open bob?"

Engineers and Lawyers on a Train

Three lawyers buy their tickets for the train. They notice three engineers also buying tickets, or rather, just one ticket. Curious, the lawyers follow the engineers on to the train and sit just behind them. During the trip the conductor comes along, "tickets please... tickets please." At this point the engineers all get up, walk to the back of the car and all pile in to one bathroom. The conductor checks the lawyers tickets and continues to the back. When he reaches the bathroom he knocks, "tickets please." The door opens a crack and one hand presents the ticket. Inspired by this craftiness the lawyers agree to use this method on the return trip a few days later. In the train station they see the same engineers also getting ready to return on the same train. The lawyers buy one ticket and the engineers buy... none! Perplexed, the lawyers once again follow the engineers onto the train. Once again the conductor starts checking tickets. The engineers get up and crowd in to one bathroom then the lawyers get up and crowd in to the other bathroom opposite the first. At this point one engineer emerges from his bathroom, crosses the aisle, knocks on the lawyers door and says in his most official voice, "tickets please."

Cynical Meanings

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other. Divorce: Future tense of marriage. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either." Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power... Dictionary: A place where success comes before work. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Larry was not a good gift giver.

Every time he gave his wife a gift for Christmas, her birthday, or their anniversary, she complained about what a sucky gift it was. She was starting to get angry. "Larry, the next time you give me a bad gift, I will light it on fire!" A week later was Larry's wife's birthday. She came down to see only one small box. She sighed and went to go get a lighter. She opened up the present. It was a candle.

John gets a Christmas parrot

John decided to get his wife a Christmas present. Maybe a puppy. Walking in to the pet store, he searches for the right puppy. "Excuse me sir, are you looking for a Christmas present?" the clerk asked. "Yes, I think she would like a puppy," John replies. "Here," motioning towards the back of the store, "we have a very special bird, Chet. He sings Christmas carols. See, light a match and hold it under his left foot." The parrot begins to sing, "Silent night, holy night." Pulling the match away, "And now his right foot." The parrot sings, "Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh." "Perfect," John exclaims. Molly was home as she hears John knocking on the door. Letting him in, John proudly smiles, "His name is Chet. I got you a singing parrot!" Raising a eyebrow, Molly stares at him. Placing the parrot on his stand, John lights a match. "Listen to him sing when I hold the match under his left foot." The parrot begins to sing again, "Silent night, holy night." Pulling the match away, "And now his right foot." The parrot sings, "Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh." "Well, what do you think?" Jon smiles. Molly stood quietly, "What would happened if you hold the match, well, between his feet?" Holding the match between his feet, the parrot squawks, "CHET'S NUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE!"

A new CEO starts his first day

A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. "Open these if you run up against a problem you don't think you can solve," he said. Well, things went along pretty smoothly, but six months later, sales took a downturn and he was really catching a lot of heat. About at his wit's end, he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, "Blame your predecessor." The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press -- and Wall Street - responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him. About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize." This he did, and the company quickly rebounded. After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said, "Prepare three envelopes."

My 89 year old Grandpa told me this one tonight... An elderly man bought his wife a Christmas present

An elderly man was trying to figure out what to buy his wife for Christmas. Knowing they already had everything they needed he decided to give his wife a Tombstone. She opened the present and thought. "OOOOKKKAYYYYY.. Sure, Thank you" She thought the gesture was nice and a little weird at the same time. The next year the entire family was having Christmas together and the elderly man had bought great gifts for everybody but his elderly wife. His kids and grand kids were so thankful and happy. After everything was done his wife said "Hey! What about me? You didn't get me anything?" The elderly Man replied "Why would I get you anything this year? You still haven't used what I got you last year!!"

A woman is opening presents at her birthday party,

and the first present she picks up is from the local florist, Max. She looks at the box and says, "I bet these are flowers" and Max nods his head. Sure enough, inside the box are flowers. The second present she picks up is from the local candy shop owner, Molly. She looks at the box and said, "I bet this is candy" and Molly nods her head. Sure enough, inside the box is candy. The third present she picks up is from the local liquor store owner, Joe. She looks at the box, which is leaking. " I bet this is a bottle of liquor" she says. "Nope" says Joe. The woman dabs some of the liquid on her finger and tastes it. "Oh, I know what this is, it's champagne!" "No" says Joe. The woman, frustrated, puts the box to her mouth and slurps off as much liquid as she can. "I have no idea. What did you get me, Joe?" "A puppy."

A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife.

The store manager tells him he has just what he's looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols. He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird. The man agrees that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing. The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter. The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot. Immediately Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night." The husband is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and watches as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot. Chet now starts to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way." The husband says Chet is perfect and that he'll take him. He rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift immediately. He presents Chet and starts to explain the parrot's special talent. Demonstrating, he holds a lighter under Chet's left foot and the bird sings "Silent Night." He then moves the lighter under the right foot and Chet lets loose a round of "Jingle Bells." The wife is absolutely impressed, and with a mischievous grin asks her husband what happens if he holds the lighter between Chet's legs instead. Curious the husband moves the lighter between the bird's legs, and the bird begins to sing "Chet's nuts Roasting on an Open Fire!"

Cemetery Plot for Christmas

One Christmas time, an elderly woman opens her present from her son-in-law and discovers a cemetery plot inside. Despite the confusion, she thanks him very much for the gift. The following Christmas, she approaches her son-in-law and asks where her present is. He simply replies that he didn't get one for her. "Why not?! You always get me a gift..." "Well, you haven't used the gift I gave you last year!!"

So a wealthy Texan's son is getting married...

...and his son asks if he can give his deceased mother's ring to his bride. His father is all for this, and someone suggests that he have it appraised for insurance purposes. The father has a lady friend who is a professional appraiser, so he invites her to look at the ring. She agrees, and says that her "fee" will be a supper at a very nice Dallas restaurant. After dessert, they are lingering over coffee; he presents the ring to his friend, she opens the box and takes out her jeweler's loupe, carefully examines it for awhile... ...puts it back in the box and returns it to him... ...and at the next table, someone exclaims, "My God, I've heard these Texas women were picky, but THAT takes the cake!"

There was a young woman who had never known her father. One year, on Christmas day, a stranger knocked at her door. When she opened the door, there was an older gentleman standing there. He looked at her face for a moment, then reached out and handed her a beautifully bound book of poetry. "What is this?" she asked. "A present," the man replied, "from your father." "My father?" she said, "but I don't have a father." "Rachel... you do...and I'm him." said the man, looking at the young woman. His eyes filling with tears. Her heart began racing at the thought that this may actually be him. But how could it be? After all this time? "How can I really know if my father is present before me?" she asked. The man, still crying, softly replied, "Rachel, your father is not present." He pointed at the book. "Book is present." Then the woman cried as she hugged her dad for the first time.

What does a child without arms get for x-mas?

gloves! nah don't know, it hasn't opened the present yet

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas

Gloves. Only joking he's not opened his presents yet.

Timmy and Billy compare Christmas presents...

Two 9 year old boys, Timmy and Billy, met after Christmas. Billy asked, "How was your Christmas, Timmy? Did you get any nice presents?" Timmy's eyes opened wide. "It was amazing!" he said. "I got an Xbox One with all of the games, PLUS a Playstation, a brand new remote control car, a helicopter, an iPad, an iPhone 6, a drone camera, and all the Transformers toys, and a whole bunch of candy and chocolates, a big cake, and a new bike! I got everything I asked for and more." "Oh my God!" Billy said. "That's so cool. You're so lucky. I didn't get much. I got a new sweater and some puzzles." "That's too bad," Timmy said. "How come that's all you got?" Billy looked at his feet. "Because *I* don't have cancer."

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?

We don't know; she hasn't opened her presents yet.

What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?

Gloves. Jk he hasn't opened it yet!!

Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas.

Luke: How? Darth Vader: I felt your presents .

People question the Christmas present I got for my mother

They say a fridge is a terrible gift when she already has one. But when I saw here face light up upon opening it, all doubts where gone.

A boy opens up his presents under the Christmas tree

With disappointment he exclaims, "Santa s**... he didn't get me the Xbox I wanted instead he got me a s**... sweater." Father:"Now, now son, you should feel lucky to have that sweater. There are kids around the world who need that sweater more than they need than the Xbox I accidentally sent out."

People told me getting my girlfriend a refridgerator for her birthday present was a bad idea.

But her face lit up when she opened it.

A mother asks her python programmer son what he wants for Christmas...

He says "I'd like 1 bike please." So off his mother goes to buy him a bike. Christmas morning comes, and the boy has opened all of his presents. "Where's my other bike?!" He screams, "I asked for 1 you only got me 0?!"

Santa comes to the White House....

Santa arrives at the White House and hands Donald Trump his Christmas present. Trump excitedly tears open his gift then looks up at Santa in shock. "What?", Santa exclaims. "I thought you LOVED coal.

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

Just kidding he is still opening his present.

A quadruple amputee is opening his present on christmas.

He crawls over to the tree and tears in to the wrapping with his teeth. The paper flies everywhere as the present is revealed. "Not another hat..."

Two brother sit under the christmas tree....

One gets dozens of presents. He opens one after another, a tablet, a drone, a bike and plenty other things. The other only gets one present with his name on it: a matchbox car. The one boy with all the presents maliciously asks: guess whom they like more! The other, calmly playing with the matchbox car, asks back: guess who has cancer.

Two siblings, a boy and a girl opens their Christmas presents

The boy received a football hat while the girl received a wonderful gold necklace. The next year, the boy received a puzzle and the girl received an new wardrobe full of clothes. And the next year again, the boy finds out he got a cheap chinese phone while his sister received an iPhone X. So this year, after the opening, the girl says: "Haha! mom and dad loves me more!" The boy replies: "Haha! I don't have a tumor"

Bad part about being a bomb disposal technician.....

It takes me 6 hours to open my Christmas presents.

I was wondering when I should open my Christmas gifts this year

But really there's no time like the present

I got my wife a fridge for Christmas.

Should have seen her face light up when she opened it. I got her a prosthetic leg too. Not as her main present, just as a stocking filler...

A m**... breaks in to a Republican couple's house while they're asleep...

A m**... breaks in to a Republican couple's house while they're asleep. He turns on the lights and begins tying them each to a chair. Before he can grab the wife, the husband yells: "Honey, my birthday presents! Use them!" The woman nods in agreement and rips open her top to reveal a pair of enormous, symmetrical plastic h**.... The husband yells: "No! I meant the golf clubs from last year!"

Jim and Joe are sitting at a bar drinking and jim asks where is John? Joe says John is missing . What happened asks Jim . Well joe says

John forgot his wedding anniversary again. His wife flew into a fit of rage, walked out to the driveway pointed to the ground and said., I want a present that goes from 0 to 200 really fast and I want it here by tomorrow morning. Fine says Jim but that doesn't explain where John is. Well continued Joe they next morning his wife woke up walked out side and saw a big box with a ribbon so she opened it and saw a new set of bathroom scales and John hasn't been seen since

No present for your mother in law

At Christmas, a man just opened presents from his mother in law and she asks, "where's mine?" He says, "I didn't get you anything this year." Visibly upset, she asks why. He says, "you never used what I got you last year." She yells, " it was a burial plot!"

Struggling to think of a Christmas present for your spouse?

Get them a fridge, and watch their face light up when they open it

I made an IRL dad joke a few weeks back...

and it may be my crowning achievement. We did a delayed Christmas at the in-laws a few weekends back (COVID happened) and my FIL is the kind of jokester that does things like wrap one boot in one present for his wife and the other boot in another. Mom-in-Law says, "look at him, stretching one gift into two...." Father-in-law then opens a gift from her and it's a winter vest. Without missing a beat I say, "look who's stretching gifts now, where's the box with the sleeves!?" I never post so I had to build karma before sharing but hopefully it was worth the wait!

A clothing buyer is walking down the street in the Garment District one day...

...when she's approached by a f**.... The guy whips open his raincoat to expose his total nakedness. After the lady studied what was presented to her for a bit she looked up at the guy and asked, "You call that a lining"?

I gave my amputee friend his birthday present

It's a pair of gloves! I'm still waiting for him to Open it up...

Putin, Obama and Merkel stand at the sea

Putin presents a submarine, saying: "This best russian technology! Our submarines stay 1 month under water without ever need to go surface!" Obama smiles and says: "This is our submarine... It can stay up to 3 months under water, no need to emerge even one time!" Merkel stands next to them saying nothing. Suddenly the sea is rambling and a submarine emerges next to them. The top hatch opens and out pops and old man, raising his arm and shouting "HEIL H*TLER, WE NEED DIESEL!"

My wife told me over breakfast she dreamed I'd given her a diamond ring

"I wonder what it means," she said. I smiled but said nothing and left for work. That evening I brought her a small gift-wrapped package. Oh you should have seen how excited she was! Brought a tear to my eye. She opened the present with trembling hands: a little book titled "How to interpret your dreams."