dining etiquette essay

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Dining Etiquette

Proper etiquette is essential for making a favorable impression at both lunch/dinner interviews as well as in social business situations. Although common sense is often your best guide, the following suggestions will help you stand out as a polished professional. 

» View a quick video on  business/dining etiquette .

Reception/Social Hour

Reception or social hours are typically for the purpose of networking for jobs and entertaining clients. Follow the lead of the majority of individuals in the room and the following basic tips:

• Keep at least one hand free. If you are standing, have only a drink or food in one hand, never both.  Hold a drink in your left hand so that you have a dry hand to offer a firm, not crushing, hand shake.
• You can eat and drink while sitting, but it is  always better to stand and greet.
• Make good eye contact.   Don't forget to introduce yourself to the host/hostess and don't interrupt conversations. 
• Avoid approaching two people engaged in deep conversation.   Wait until there is a break so you can introduce yourself.  Look for visual cues to join the conversation.
• Make eye contact.   Ask people questions about themselves and the work they do.
• Always offer your contact information and know when it is time to go.   Move on to the next group or individual, follow up with promising contacts, and assess how you can improve your performance.

Arrival/Sitting Down

• Arrive on time and call ahead if you know you will be late.
• Do not place any bags, purses, sunglasses, cell phones, or briefcases on the table.
• Have proper posture and keep elbows off the table. 
• Wait 15 minutes before calling to check on the arrival status of your dinner partners.

Table Setting

• When presented with a variety of eating utensils, remember the guideline to "start at the outside and work your way in".  For example, if you have two forks, begin with the fork on the outside.
• Do not talk with your utensils and never hold a utensil in a fist.
• Set the utensils on your plate, not the table, when you are not using them.

Text-Only version of The Formal Table Setting for screen reader users

• Typically, you want to put your napkin on your lap (folded in half with the fold towards your waist) soon after sitting down at the table, but follow your host's lead.
• The napkin should remain on your lap throughout the entire meal. Place your napkin on your chair, or to the left of your plate, if you leave the table as a signal to the server that you will be returning.
• When the host places their napkin on the table, this signifies the end of the meal. You should then place your napkin on the table as well.

Ordering and Being Served

• Do not order the most expensive item from the menu, appetizers, or dessert, unless your host encourages you to do so. While it is best not to order alcohol even if the interviewer does, alcohol, if consumed, should be in moderation.
• Avoid ordering items that are messy or difficult to eat (i.e. spaghetti, French onion soup).
• Wait for everyone to be served before beginning to eat, unless the individual who has not been served encourages you to begin eating.

During the Meal

• Eat slowly and cut only a few small bites of your meal at a time.
• Chew with your mouth closed and do not talk with food in your mouth.
• Pass food items to the right (i.e. bread, salad dressings). If you are the individual starting the passing of the bread basket, first offer some to the person on your left, then take some for yourself, then pass to the right.
• Pass salt and pepper together, one in each hand. If someone has asked you to pass these items, you should not pause to use them.
• Taste your food before seasoning it.
• Do not use excessive amounts of sweeteners - no more than two packets per meal is the rule of thumb.
• Bread should be eaten by tearing it into small pieces, buttering only a few bites at a time. Do not cut bread with a knife or eat whole.
• Gently stir your soup to cool it instead of blowing on it.  Spoon your soup away from you.
• You do not have to clean your plate. It is polite to leave some food on your plate.

Be Aware of Different Eating Styles

• Continental or European Style: Cutting the food with the right hand and using the left hand to hold the food while cutting and when eating.
• American Style: Cutting the food with the right hand and holding the food with the left, then switching hands to eat with the right hand.

When You Have Finished

• When you are finished, leave your plates in the same position, do not push your plates aside or stack them.
• Lay you fork and knife diagonally across the plate, side by side, pointing at 10:00 and 4:00 on a clock face. This signifies to the wait staff that you have finished.
• The person who initiates the meal generally pays and tips appropriately (15% for moderate service, 20% for excellent service).
• Always remember to thank your host.

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Dine Like a Royal: English Cuisine and Dining Etiquette

Ready for some fine dining? Make sure you know what to order and how to navigate cultural differences as well.

The Basics of English Cuisine

Traditional british food across the country, table manners and dining etiquette, the bottom line.

When dining in an English-speaking country, it's important to be aware of the differences in customs and table manners. For example, you should never start eating until everyone at the dinner table has been served, use your utensils properly, and stay polite at all times.

In this article, we'll explore the basics of English cuisine and dining etiquette in greater detail so that you can avoid any embarrassing faux pas while enjoying a meal in a foreign country! Furthermore, we'll share some of the most beloved examples of traditional British food across the country so that you know what to expect when sitting down for a meal.

After all, there's nothing worse than being famished and not knowing what to order! In our article on interesting tidbits about English culture, food was mentioned only briefly; however, it undoubtedly deserves a dedicated post.

So, whether you're traveling to England for business or pleasure, here's everything you need to know about English cuisine and dining etiquette.

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Most people assume that British food culture has nothing to offer except for greasy fish and chips, overcooked veggies, cornish pasties, and stodgy pies. While it's true that these dishes do exist (and are actually incredibly delicious), there's so much more to English cuisine than that!

Over the years, English cuisine – just like the English language – has been influenced by a number of factors, including the country's climate, geography, and history. For instance, England's cold and wet climate is perfect for growing root vegetables like potatoes, carrots, and turnips, which are often then used in stews and pies.

The island's location also makes it easy to import seafood from nearby countries such as France and Spain.

As for the history of English cuisine, it's believed that the first settlers on the island brought over ingredients and cooking techniques from their homelands. For example, the Anglo-Saxons introduced garlic and other spices to the country, while the Normans introduced dairy products like butter and cream.

In general, British cuisine is hearty, filling, and often quite simple. The most common meats are chicken, beef, pork, and lamb, which are usually cooked in stews or roasted. Common vegetables include potatoes, carrots, peas, beans, and cabbage. And, of course, no English meal would be complete without a delicious pudding or pie for dessert!

While there are some common staples of English cuisine, the food varies quite a bit from region to region. In fact, each area of Great Britain has its own specialties and traditional dishes that are beloved by locals.

For instance, Yorkshire pudding , which is a type of savory meat pie, gives away its origin quite explicitly. Meanwhile, the city of Liverpool is famous for its scouse – a thick stew made with beef or lamb, potatoes, and carrots.

And, in London, you can find all sorts of international cuisine as well as traditional English dishes like bangers and mash (sausages and mashed potato), kidney pie , a full English breakfast (eggs, bacon, sausage, baked beans, toast, hash browns, and more), and the Sunday roast (a roasted joint of meat with roast potatoes, veggies, and black pudding).

As for traditional Scottish dishes, they include haggis (a type of savory pudding made with sheep's stomach that's often served with mashed potatoes and turnips), shepherd's pie (a type of meat pie made with lamb or mutton, sometimes also referred to as cottage pie ), shortbread , and, of course, the pearl of Scottish cuisine – whisky .

In Welsh cuisine, you'll find delicious dishes like cawl (a type of soup with lamb) and bara birth (a type of fruitcake). And in Northern Ireland, the most popular dishes are Ulster fry (a type of fried full breakfast) and soda bread (a type of quick bread made with baking soda).

Of course, no matter where you are in the country, you'll always be able to find fish and chips – already an inseparable part of British culture. This classic dish is usually made with cod or haddock that's been fried in batter and served with french fries. It's the perfect meal to enjoy by the seaside on a sunny day!

If you're looking for something sweet, you can't go wrong with a classic English dessert like a spotted dick (a steamed suet pudding containing dried fruit) or treacle tart (a pastry made with golden syrup or molasses). For a refreshing treat, try a cup of afternoon tea with milk and sugar - it's the national beverage of England!

Of course, these are just a few examples - there are too many delicious British dishes to list them all! So, if you're ever feeling adventurous, be sure to ask the locals for their recommendations. They'll be more than happy to share their favorite restaurants and the best dishes to order, making sure you’ll find a traditional dish that will satisfy your taste buds!

Now that you have a better understanding of what English food is all about, it's time to learn about the proper etiquette for dining in an English-speaking country. After all, there's nothing worse than committing a major faux pas in front of your hosts!

Here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Always wait for everyone to be served before you start eating.
• Say "please" and "thank you" when ordering food or drinks and when they're brought to you. You don’t have to apologize for every move you make, but don’t neglect those basic manners.
• Make sure your phone is turned off or on silent before sitting down at the table.
• Use your utensils properly – fork in the left hand and knife in the right. The fork should be used to eat most of your food, while the knife is primarily used to cut meat or support food. Soup spoons are usually placed to the right of your forks.
• Cut only one bite of food at a time, and eat it before cutting the next piece.
• When you're finished eating, place your utensils side by side on your plate in the “resting” position.
• Don't place your elbows on the table.
• Never chew with an open mouth or talk with food in your mouth.
• When it's time for dessert, wait for everyone to finish their main course before ordering. Remember to use your utensils properly – dessert fork for cake, dessert spoon for pudding.
• Food stuck in your teeth? Use your tongue to remove it discreetly or visit the restroom to get rid of it.
• If you need to leave the table, excuse yourself first.
• Remember to say "cheers" before taking a sip of your drink!

Proper etiquette dictates that you start with a soup or salad, followed by the main course. When dining out, be sure to order off the menu and not from the specials board.

If you get confused about, for instance, when to use a butter knife and when to use a regular one, don't worry – just follow the lead of your hosts, and you'll be fine. British people can be nitpicky when it comes to good manners at dinner parties, but they’ll be happy to help you out!

Following these simple tips, dining in an English-speaking country will be a breeze! Just relax and enjoy the delicious food – after all, that's what mealtime is all about.

Now that you know a little bit more about English cuisine, it's time to put your knowledge into practice! Be sure to brush up on your table manners and dining etiquette so you can enjoy a meal in an English-speaking country without making any embarrassing mistakes.

So, there you have it – a brief overview of English cuisine and dining etiquette! Whether you already have your next trip to England planned or just wanted to learn more about the country's food, we hope this article has been helpful. Consider downloading our Langster app to learn related vocabulary, and you’re ready for fine dining. Bon appétit!

Ellis is a seasoned polyglot and one of the creative minds behind Langster Blog, where she shares effective language learning strategies and insights from her own journey mastering the four languages. Ellis strives to empower learners globally to embrace new languages with confidence and curiosity. Off the blog, she immerses herself in exploring diverse cultures through cinema and contemporary fiction, further fueling her passion for language and connection.

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Gentleman Within

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Table Manners 101: Proper Dining Etiquette for the 21st Century 12 min read

By Khoi Nguyen — May contain affiliate links ( Details ) Leave a Comment

Whether you are attending a fancy, formal dinner, going to a backyard barbecue or even just out for a casual meal with friends, you have probably wondered about table etiquette like which fork to use or when to put your napkin in your lap.

Of course, we all relax a little bit around family and close friends, but good manners don’t go away just because we know those around the table with us.

Often passed down through the generations, impeccable table manners are an excellent way to up your social game by ensuring you feel comfortable in any dining situation. But table etiquette is not just for swanky dinners with formal place settings that include four forks to choose from. Good table manners can be used at every meal, in any kind of situation.

It’s never too late to learn about the rules so we have put together a quick reference guide to help you navigate the etiquette expectations and table manners you need to know so you can feel comfortable any time you join others around the dinner table.

» You Might Like: How to Be a Modern-Day Gentleman (Rules & Etiquette to Know)

Page Contents

Do Table Manners Really Matter?

Some social expectations, like women not shaking hands when meeting someone new, have gone out of fashion. These gender-based etiquette norms have fallen out of favor in recent years in lieu of applying those rules to everyone or simply dropping the tradition completely.

But dining etiquette as a whole will never become outdated because table manner rules help us to make others comfortable in social situations as well as provide a basic framework for etiquette that is simple and puts a priority on behaviors that make our social experiences go smoothly.

Good table manners are not about appearing pretentious or acting condescending toward others. Instead, they help to provide a modicum of civility to our lives in social situations while making those around us more relaxed. And that means that remembering to use good table manners will never go out of style.

Pre-Dining Etiquette

Even though the dining experience may not yet have begun, a few basic pre-dining etiquette rules can help you start off a social engagement on the right foot. If you’ve been invited to a social engagement like a party or a dinner, the first rule of etiquette relates to responding to the invitation.

Always promptly respond to an invitation, regardless of whether a formal RSVP is required.

A quick phone call, email, text or RSVP response card return will let your host know your status so they can prepare for their event or dinner. Even if the invitation is for a casual dinner, remembering to respond in a timely manner is a respectful action that will never go out of style.

Plan to bring the host a small token of thanks for invitations to events of any size.

Don’t arrive empty-handed. Bring a bottle of wine, a bouquet of flowers or another gift to your host. Whether you are attending an intimate dinner or a large gathering, a host gift is always appreciated and is a sign of excellent manners. If your group is meeting out for dinner or a party, a host gift is not needed if the event or dinner costs are shared amongst the group.

Do not bring food to the dinner unless the host requested it in advance.

Prepared food is not considered an appropriate host gift. And if a prepared dish is gifted to the host, do not expect for the food to be served at the meal but instead expect for it to be received as a gift to be served privately at a later time.

Quick note: If you’re enjoying this guide on table manners 101, then you’ll probably find my other writing on all things style & self-development and relationships useful. Each week, I share style tips, inspiration, deals and other things not shared on the blog through my free email newsletter.  To join now, just enter your email address below and click “Get Updates!”

Where Everyone Sits at the Table

Table manners extend to where each person sits at the table as well. Hosts can always predetermine seating and for more formal events, this is usually done with a physical reminder on the table like a place card or some other token representing each person. But for those more casual dinners, table seating may be open to the group.

The places of honor, like the ends of a table, are reserved for the host(s) or another special guest.

Guests should assume that these spots are saved for the hosts unless they are directed to sit there specifically. When a table is round, the seat closest to the kitchen or bar area may be considered the host’s seating.

Formal and informal dinner hosts usually expect couples to sit side-by-side or across from one another.

Ask your host where they would like you to sit if no place cards are in use, but couples typically will not be separated.

Good manners require you to accept your seating arrangements unless they are physically impossible for you.

You may not like sitting next to chatty Aunt Cathy or across from that boring neighbor whose name you can’t recall, but if your host has asked you to sit somewhere specific you should do so.

You might not be aware of extenuating circumstances that they are trying to accommodate so being a gracious guest is key to having impeccable table manners in this situation.

One exception would be if you are physically unable to sit in a location. For example, if your bad knee makes it impossible to get to your seat, quietly let your host know as soon as possible so that they may make necessary adjustments.

Setting the Table: What You Need to Know

Formal dinners can be a confusing experience for those who have never before seen the multitude of forks that can be on a table: a dinner fork, a salad fork, a dessert fork and even sometimes an oyster fork.

But guests should always know what each piece of silverware, plate and glass is potentially used for as well as what to do with each one during their dining experience.

Use the outside fork first.

For meals with more than one course, the fork on the outside of the place setting should be used first. The salad fork is typically smaller and will be placed to the outside of the larger fork used for the main entrée. Forks are placed to the left of the dinner plate.

Specialty utensils, like a dessert spoon and an oyster fork or a seafood cocktail fork, may be placed above the plate. These utensils are smaller than the other spoons and forks and may have fewer tines as well, making them easier to spot in your place setting.

A bread knife should be laid across the top of the bread dish while the main knife should be placed horizontally across the dinner plate once it has been used.

If a butter knife is not included in your place setting, pass it along with the butter dish instead of keeping it. Your main cutlery will almost always be set with a dinner knife for you to use during your meal or with your bread and butter if no separate butter knife is included.

The dinner knife, tea spoon (smaller) and soup spoons (larger) are placed to the right of the dinner plate. While glassware is placed on the upper right side of your place setting.

Be sure to grab your own glasses and not your tablemate’s cups. The outside glass will be for wine or, if no alcohol is served, for the dinner beverage, while the inside one will be for water.

» Related: Making a Great First Impression (So You Will Be Remembered)

Table Etiquette

Once you arrive at the dinner table, the real fun begins for the evening. But remember that table etiquette rules are all about making sure you, your guests and the hosts know what to expect and are comfortable with each other.

These few basic table manners for adults to follow will make the evening go more smoothly and put your host at ease regardless of how relaxed or formal your dinner may be.

Wait to be seated until after your host sits down or you are invited to do so.

At informal dinners, your host may invite you to grab a seat and get comfortable. But in more formal situations, etiquette dictates that you should stand behind your seat while everyone locates their appointed spot while you all wait for the host or hostess to sit down first.

Even though it might seem overly formal, it is much easier for the host to swap seating arrangements, should that be needed, while guests are still standing up and haven’t yet grabbed their napkins or sipped from their water glasses.

Do not reach for your napkin immediately upon being seated.

The name of the game here is waiting for cues from your host. Once they have snagged their napkin from the place setting to place it in their lap, you can (and should) do so, too. This host-first polite behavior should be extended to the rest of the dinner including calling a waiter over to order and taking your first bite of food.

Guests with good table manners will follow the lead of the host before moving on to any new step or stage of the dinner experience.

Place your napkin over your chair back (and not your plate) if you need to be excused.

Even though you just arrived at the table, if you need to leave—even for a moment—place your napkin over your chair back. This will alert the wait staff or the host that you are returning.

Napkins that are placed on the table or over a plate are an indication that you are finished with your food and are not returning to your seat. Using the seat back or even the seat of your chair signals that you will return to the table shortly.

Good Table Manners

Once the dinner has begun, guests can relax and enjoy their meal together. Most of the manners at the table that you will be expected to follow are not only intuitive but also make the dinner much more enjoyable.

Hold your stemware glasses by the stems.

When you are drinking out of a glass with a stem, use it to hold the glass instead of placing your hands on the side of the glassware.

Keeping your warm hands off the side of the glass will ensure that your wine or other beverage stays nice and chilly, requiring less frequent attention from the host or waiter.

Look the part: sit up straight, keep your elbows off the table and close your mouth when you chew.

Your mom was right: kids and adults do need to mind their own business while they sit at the dinner table. This means that manners at the table include paying attention to how you are sitting so you look like you are engaged in the conversation and not slouching down in your seat.

Also, keep your elbows tucked into your side and avoid placing them on the table during dinner. Not only will your tablemates thank you for not taking up their arm space that may be in short supply at a crowded dinner table, but guests will appreciate your attention to their views of you as well that don’t include a casual, inconsiderate elbow intruding on the side of their dinner plate.

Pass the salt and pepper shakers together.

At some dinners, you may be asked to pass a dish of food, a breadbasket or even salt and pepper to other guests around the table. Understanding the importance of table manners will help you to remember that anything that works together on the table should be passed together.

Salt and pepper should be passed off together just like the breadbasket and the butter plate should stay together and the food dish and the serving utensil should be handed to your tablemate together.

Wait to eat until everyone has their food.

Just because your food has arrived doesn’t mean that it is time to grab your fork and dig in. Hold off until everyone at the table has their plate or entrée before eating but always wait for the direction and blessing of the host to take your first bite.

Special Situations

Avoiding bad table manners can be trickier when the dinner situation changes a little bit. Follow these guidelines when your dinner includes ordering wine, you are at a restaurant, your dinner is in another country or your dining companions are children.

Ordering Wine

• Let the host lead the way in ordering wine when possible.
• Once a selection has been made, the one who orders it will usually be expected to taste the wine to make sure it is acceptable. First, swirl the wine in the glass gently to open up the flavor, and then sniff the glass to sample the scent of the wine. Next, take a small sip of the wine to check the taste before letting the sommelier know if you like it so they can pour it up or select a new wine for you to try.

Restaurant Etiquette Rules

• Hosts should allow guests to order food first but also remember that their guests are looking to them for cues on what to do, when to order and when to begin eating.
• Good table manners at a restaurant include not putting your wallet , cell phone or purse on the table.
• Guests and hosts should always be polite to the wait staff and restaurant employees.
• Put your utensils on your plate when you are finished eating. Keep the napkin in your lap if you plan on ordering dessert or to the side of your plate when you are completely done.

International Table Manners

• Always be knowledgeable about local customs and dining expectations for countries you visit. What is polite and appropriate in the US may not be acceptable where you are visiting.
• Asking the host or the restaurant what to do, about a dish or how to act is always acceptable when done discreetly.
• When in doubt, always wait for the host and simply mirror their etiquette to be safe.

Table Manners and Etiquette for Children

• Parents or guardians should assist children in seating arrangements, ordering politely and helping them to use the right utensils.
• An adult should excuse themself from the table to go with a child that is disturbing the table or needs to go to the restroom.
• Kids should be asked to eat the food prepared for them, but it is perfectly acceptable for an adult to help them cut their food and pour their drink for them when they need assistance.
• Kids do not need to pass food or items around the table. Adults should hand passed items directly to the next adult when at all possible.

When Another Person Has Bad Table Manners

It’s bound to happen. Not everyone is aware of how they act at all times and sometimes we end up at dinner with someone who has bad table manners. Maybe they are having a tough day and the way they are acting is a result, or maybe no one has ever explained the rules of table manners to them.

But we all will have a dining experience that makes us cringe just a little bit when a companion doesn’t follow basic dining etiquette. A dinner guest who arrives with an unexpected dish that they insist the host serve at the dinner party might inconvenience or upset a host who has carefully planned the meal around each guest’s dietary concerns.

If a guest takes a seat at the dinner table before the host does, another guest might end up misplaced and be uncomfortable all evening. A dining companion who begins to eat the moment their food is placed in front of them can cause a host who was planning on delivering a toast or a few words to the group before dinner to feel embarrassed.

Or a guest who casually tosses their napkin on the top of their plate as they dash to the restroom might find that their dinner plate has disappeared upon their return.

So what can you do when you see bad table manners? The kindest strategy is to offer a gentle correction or light-hearted suggestion about keeping up with the appropriate etiquette at your shared dinner.

Often a quick smile and a nod towards your actions will clue in the guest about what they are doing incorrectly or missing out on. No one likes to stand out for obvious social missteps, so if the guest realizes that their table manners are lacking, chances are they will seek a friendly face for reassurance or guidance.

» Related: How to Be More Present & Have Better Conversations Through Mindful Listening.

The Importance of Table Manners

When you are enjoying a lovely dinner, the last thing you want to think about is your manners and what the other guests or the host are thinking about the way you act around the dinner table.

But when you see another dinner guest make an embarrassing etiquette faux pas, whether intentional or accidental, it becomes clear why even today table manners and dining etiquette are important.

Even if some expectations may at first glance seem old-fashioned or unnecessary, what we call proper dining etiquette today is simply a polite way to act that puts the feelings of the host and the other diners in front of our own.

Dining with friends or family can be a fun, relaxing and highly enjoyable part of our lives. Remembering the basic table manners rules—and why they exist in the first place—can make your time around the table less stressful and more pleasant for you and your dining companions even in today’s modern world.

When was the last time you minded your table manners?

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Here's Why Proper Dining Etiquette Is Still Important, and What to Know

Fork placement shouldn't be scary at all .

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Try to imagine the worst breach of table etiquette possible. Chances are, you haven’t come close to the nightmare etiquette expert and founder of the Protocol School of Palm Beach Jacqueline Whitmore experienced on New Year’s Eve a few years ago. She was on a date with a man who got drunk before dinner was served. Once it was, Whitmore says, “He started eating like a barbarian. Around the third course he began making animal sounds...and then he just heaved all over the table. I can laugh about it now, but it was horrifying.”

Whitmore’s date would have fit in well in Medieval Europe , when forks were nearly non-existent, all other utensils were shared, and soup was slurped straight from the bowl. Dining tables during the era were little more than planks plopped over trestles immediately before the meal, a practice that gave rise to the colloquialism “set the table.” Sure, a cloth was spread over the planks, but diners wiped their dirty fingers on it. Napkins? Forget about it.

With the Renaissance came refinement. Catherine de' Medici, who was the Italian-born queen of France from 1547 until 1559, is credited with helping popularize fork use—an improvement over the custom of simply shoving meat speared with a sharp knife into one’s face, a system that caused no little amount of nasty injuries. The Italians also become known for their spectacular Venetian glass goblets in the 16th century. The delicate stemware is a testament to their increasingly refined dining habits, which some may say we’re well on our way to losing today. Don’t drink too much, don’t eat in a primitive manner, and don’t lose your lunch (or dinner) are the most basic rules of table manners, but should you need a refresher on less-obvious etiquette , we’re here to help with some dining dos and don'ts that might surprise you.

Pre-Dining Etiquette

Good dining etiquette begins long before you sit down at the table. If you’re invited to a dinner party , be sure to RSVP, even if a response isn’t specifically requested, and don’t ask if you may bring someone who isn’t part of the invitation. When you arrive, don’t do so empty-handed. “A hostess gift , which can be anything from candles or wine to flowers, chocolates or guest soaps, is never a bad idea," says Whitmore. "It’s a nice, much-appreciated gesture.”

Table Setting Place Mat for Kids

If you do bring a bouquet of blooms, try to make sure they’re in a vase, so your hosts won’t have to take time to arrange them. And don’t expect the bottle of wine you brought to be opened that evening. Chances are, your hosts have already chosen the wines they’ll be serving. That’s true of the menu too—leave the home-cooked dish at home, unless the event is a potluck. You don’t want to put your hosts on the spot.

Table Seating Etiquette

Whether dining in someone’s home or at a restaurant, jostling in confusion for your seat is never a good look. At formal dinners, keep an eye out for place cards, which direct you where to sit. Oftentimes, spouses are positioned near or beside one another; the chairs nearest to the host have long been considered places of honor. Historically, the best positions at the table were also closest to the salt cellar , a small container used for holding the mineral (salt cellars fell out of fashion after the introduction of salt with an anti-caking additive, which could be used in shakers, in 1911). If there are no place cards, ask your host where they’d like you to sit, but don’t do so until they are seated.

When you do sit down, you shouldn’t immediately grab your napkin off the plate.“You should wait until everyone has been seated before you put your napkin on your lap,” Whitmore says. “And if you need to excuse yourself from the table, place the napkin on the arm of your chair, not the table.”

Proper Table Setting Etiquette

Undoubtedly the trickiest part of dining etiquette is navigating the table setting—the prospect of which seems to fill nearly everyone on the planet but a pro like Whitmore with dread. If you’re hosting a dinner party, she suggests using a mnemonic device when beginning to set your table. “Think of the letters BMW,” she says. “Bread plate to left, meal (or dinner) plate in the middle, and wine and water glasses to the right, and above the silverware. The napkin may be put on the plate, or to the left of the forks.”

As suggested by the handy tip for diners to use utensils from the outside in, when setting your table, place silverware that will be used first on the outside. The forks should be placed to the left of the plate, with the salad fork on the outside. The dinner fork sits besides it, next to the dinner plate. The knife should go to the right of the dinner plate, with the blade facing in. If soup is being served, the soup spoon sits next to the knife, on the outside. But the menu is going to dictate how the table is set up.

“So, depending on how many courses you have, you may have more silverware than normal, including cutlery like a fish knife, fish fork, salad knife, dessert fork, dessert spoon and a cocktail fork," says Whitmore. "You never really see a table with every utensil on it anymore. That’s really reserved for a state dinner at the White House.”

Table Manners 101

Sure, it may seem like there are a lot of proper dining protocol rules. But at least most directives are no-brainers that you've probably heard since you were a child: Sit up straight, don’t talk with your mouth full, don’t gesture with your silverware, keep your elbows off the table—and don’t reach across it—don’t lick your fingers or blow on your food, and always chew with your mouth closed. Some table manners perhaps less commonly known include holding stemmed glassware only by the stem and passing the salt and pepper together. Speaking of salt and pepper, taste your meal before seasoning it—otherwise, you may insult your host.

The Art of the Table

And if you’re usually glued to your phone , Whitmore has some bad news for you. “Things that have nothing to do with the meal—for example, a cell phone—should never be placed on the table. Also, you should begin eating only after everyone has been served, cutting only a bite or two at a time, and break up your bread up. Then just butter one small piece at a time.”

As the meal winds down, so should you. You don’t want to be the first one finished, a dining rule reminiscent of the old adage that you should never be the last one to leave the party. When you're finished, place your knife and fork at the four o’clock position. Finally, “Put your napkin on the left side of the plate," says Whitmore. "Never throw it on the plate.”

Illustrations by Mary Fama .

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Dining Etiquette: The Essential Rules for a Polite Dining Experience

Oliver Kingston

Table of contents, the importance of dining etiquette.

Setting the Table: A Guide to Proper Table Setting

Napkin Etiquette: Dos and Don'ts

Silverware Savvy: Using Utensils with Grace

Mind Your Manners: Polite Behavior at the Table

Navigating the Menu: Ordering with Confidence

Conversation Etiquette: Engaging in Polite Table Talk

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Top 10 Table Manners Tips

Table manners have evolved over centuries to make the practice of eating with others pleasant and sociable. With so many table manners to keep track, keep these basic, but oh-so-important, table manners in mind as you eat:

• Chew with your mouth closed.
• Keep your smartphone off the table and set to silent or vibrate. Wait to check calls and texts until you are finished with the meal and away from the table.
• Hold utensils correctly. Don’t use your fork or spoon like a shovel or stab your food.
• Wash up and come to the table clean. Don’t groom or attend to hygiene at the table.
• Remember to use your napkin.
• Wait until you’re done chewing to sip or swallow a drink.
• Pace yourself with fellow diners. Cut only one piece of food at a time.
• Avoid slouching and don’t place your elbows on the table while eating (though it is okay to prop your elbows on the table while conversing between courses, and always has been, even in Emily’s day).
• Instead of reaching across the table for something, ask for it to be passed to you.
• Bring your best self to the meal. Take part in the dinner conversation.

Navigating the Table Setting Videos

There are a few essential manners tips that can help you to understand and navigate the table setting comfortably and confidently. Which utensils go with what food? How do you hold a fork correctly in your left hand? Where do you put your napkin if you have to leave the table? Topics covered in our video series and related articles include:

• Who sits where
• B&D for bread and drink
• Using FOrKS as an acronym to help set the table
• Outside in utensil use through successive courses
• Continental vs. American style dining
• Proper placement of the napkin 

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Dining Etiquette in English: Essential Phrases and Tips

Home » Dining Etiquette in English: Essential Phrases and Tips

• April 13, 2024

Have you ever thought about how learning dining etiquette in English could make your social life better? Knowing and saying important dining words not only makes eating out better for you. It also shows respect and class in English-speaking places. This article will show you why knowing the right words and actions is important for socializing. It covers what to say and do before, during, and after a meal. It also talks about how your body and the way you act at the table matter.

Introduction to Dining Etiquette

Understanding dining etiquette is key. It helps in both business dinners and meals with friends. The way you act at the table shows your upbringing and respect. Learn *dining manners phrases* and *English mealtime etiquette*. This helps in personal and professional dining.

Knowing about English dining etiquette is more than manners. It shows you’re aware of cultural norms. In places where English is main, knowing *dining manners phrases* matters. It shapes how others see you. It leads to better connections and shows you respect other’s customs.

Learning about *English mealtime etiquette* is a mark of your social expertise. It shows you can gracefully handle any dining time. Good manners from formal to casual events show your advanced manners. This leaves a good feeling on those around you.

Essential English Dining Etiquette Phrases

Learning good dining manners is key for making a good impression when dining out. This part will teach you nice ways to talk at the table in English.

Before the Meal

At the start of the meal, say hello and chat lightly with your meal mates. Use these nice words:

“Good evening, everyone.” – starts things off on a happy note.

“May I help you with anything?” – It’s nice to offer a hand.

“Have you tried the [dish name] here before?” – A good way to chat about food.

During the Meal

While eating, it’s good to talk about the food, ask for things nicely, and say thank you. Here’s what you can say:

“This dish is fantastic, what do you think?” – Gets everyone talking about the food.

“Could you please pass the salt?” – Always use ‘please’ when asking for something.

“Thank you, that was delicious.” – It’s good to show you enjoyed the meal.

After the Meal

When the meal is over, exit nicely with these words:

“Thank you so much for the lovely meal.” – A nice thank you to who invited you.

“It was wonderful dining with you.” – A kind goodbye.

“Safe travels home.” – A gentle way to say goodbye.

Using these phrases makes dining in English pleasant for all.

Tips for Polite Dining Conversations

Dining isn’t just about the food. It’s also about the talks you have. Having polite mealtime interactions makes dining better. It also makes a good impression on people. Here’s how to be great at talking at the table:

Active Listening: Always act interested in others. Nod your head and say things like “I see” or “That’s interesting.” This makes talking during meals nice. It makes everyone feel listened to.

Avoid Controversial Topics: Don’t talk about politics or religion. This can make chatting smoother. Go for easy topics like trips, books, or movies instead.

Compliment the Host: Say something nice about the meal. For example, you can say, “This is really good. Thanks for having us.” This makes the meal more joyful.

Use Appropriate Humor: Jokes are okay, but they should be light and clean. Stay away from jokes that could hurt someone. Be sure your humor is well received by everyone.

Use these tips for better mealtime chats. Good talks during meals make your cultural experience richer. They also help you connect more with others.

Table Manners and Societal Expectations

Knowing proper table etiquette helps you look good when you eat out. It’s about understanding what’s expected and how to act around the table.

Place Settings

At first, table settings can be scary. But don’t worry, from fancy dinners to laid-back gatherings, it all makes sense. Remember where utensils go: forks on the left, knives and spoons on the right. By starting with the outside utensils, you’re all set for a fancy meal or a simple supper.

Handling Difficult Situations

Dining surprises happen, like not recognizing a dish or spilling your drink. Stay cool when you face the unexpected. If you don’t know what you’re eating, follow how others are eating it. And if you spill, quietly get help from a waiter. Keeping your cool shows good manners to everyone at your table.

The Role of Body Language in Dining Etiquette

Body language is key in dining manners. It helps show respect and politeness without words. Knowing these signs makes eating together more enjoyable.

Positive Body Language

Sit up straight but be relaxed. This tells others you’re really listening. Making eye contact shows you care and are respectful. And when you hand over things, do it gently. This shows thoughtfulness.

Keep your hands where people can see them. A real smile is inviting. It makes the meal happier for everyone.

What to Avoid

Some actions are not polite and can make people uneasy. Don’t sit or lean back too much. It might seem like you’re not interested. Also, avoid folding your arms or resting your elbows on the table. These can push people away.

Don’t rest your face in your hands. And try not to look at your phone often. These show you’re not really with others. Put your phone away to stay involved.

Too much hand movement can be too much. Keep gestures calm. This way, everyone can enjoy the meal without distractions.

Resources for Learning English Dining Etiquette

Learning dining etiquette is a big step. It can really help in your personal and work life. If you want to learn English dining etiquette well, start at YourNativeTeacher.com . They offer lessons with native speakers in small groups or one-on-one. This makes sure you really get the details of good manners in a special way.

At YourNativeTeacher.com , you get 55-minute lessons online. These lessons cover many etiquette learning resources . They start with talking skills and move on to real dining situations. Each lesson is set up to help you get better and feel more sure about English dining manners.

This place is all about being easy to fit into your life. They have lessons at many times to suit your busy day. By using these etiquette learning resources , you not only learn good table manners. You also get better at talking with people in general.

By using these tools, you’ll get really good at English dining etiquette. You can pick one-on-one lessons or the online option. Being serious about learning with these great tools will make you stand out when you’re with others.

Learning how to dine properly isn’t just about knowing words or manners. It’s about feeling confident and showing respect at meal times. Use the important phrases and tips we talked about. This will help you act the way people expect, making a good impression on others when eating together.

Being polite and using the right body language can make meals more welcoming. It doesn’t matter if it’s a fancy dinner or a simple one. Knowing and using these rules shows you’re good at getting along with others. This makes eating with different people easier and smoother.

Keep using the tips to get better at this. By practicing, you’ll get better at acting confidently during meals. Then, you’ll be ready to show your great manners whenever you eat out.

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How to Have Good Table Manners

Last Updated: June 24, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Tami Claytor and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden . Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification. There are 11 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 605,987 times.

Whether you’ve been invited to a dinner party or you’re going out to eat, brushing up on your table manners is a good way to prepare. Having table manners can leave a great impression on your fellow guests, and it will help everyone feel happy and comfortable as they enjoy their meal. We’ve compiled a list of things to remember at the dinner table so you can enjoy delicious food and fun times with your friends and family members.

Wash your hands before you sit down.

• Some fancier restaurants will even bring you a dish of water to dip your hands in. However, this is usually reserved for fine dining.

Put your phone on silent.

• Try to keep your phone off the table while you eat. It can be a distraction to keep it so close to the food.

Wait for everyone to be seated.

• If there isn’t assigned seating, give the guest of honor or the host the best seat at the table (usually the seat at the head of the table). Everyone else can sit wherever they’d like to.
• Always enter and leave the dining chair from it’s right in a restaurant and at a formal dinner. Before doing so help the lady on your right or left by pulling her chair back when she starts sitting and the pushing it in. Men in military enter the chair from left and leave from right as formal dinner is considered a parade.

Place your napkin on your lap.

• The napkin is the very first thing you want to touch when sitting down.
• If you need to leave the table, put your napkin on the chair, not on the table. It will signal that you’re coming back and you aren’t finished with your food.

Pass all food dishes to the right.

• If there’s bread on the table, cut some off the loaf and offer the pieces to the person on your left before passing it on.

Don’t eat until the host eats.

• If you’re having food with your family, wait until the person who made the food starts eating.

Use the utensils from the outside in.

• If you’re just at a dinner party with friends and family, you probably won’t have to worry about multiple sets of utensils.
• On your left, the utensils from the outside in are the salad fork, the dinner fork, and the dessert fork. On your right, you'll have a soup spoon, then a tea spoon, then a dinner knife.

Keep your elbows off the table.

• If you aren’t eating or you’re in between courses, it’s okay to rest your elbows on the table. The no elbows rule only applies when utensils are in use.

Eat slowly and with your mouth closed.

• The same goes for drinking: try to take small sips and avoid slurping or splashing your drink.

Say “please” and “thank you.”

Take part in the conversation.

• If you don’t know the people sitting next to you, introduce yourself and ask them how they know the host. That should be enough to get a lively conversation going !

Cover your mouth if you need to burp.

• If you get the hiccups and they won’t go away, it’s polite to leave the table until they stop.

Pick up your utensils if you drop them.

• If you drop any food, discreetly pick it up with your napkin. Then, ask your waiter for a new napkin.

Put your utensils on your plate when you’re are taking a break/pause or when you are done.

• You can cross your utensils when taking a break or pausing or waiting for more food. The tines of the fork should face down and blade of the fork should face inward. If you are using a table spoon, place it’s bowel facing up. If you are done eating, just place them side by side at 6’O clock position in UK and at 4’O clock position elsewhere. Also put your napkin on the table to the left side of your plate.

Help clear the table at the end of the meal.

Expert Q&A

Reader Videos

Share a quick video tip and help bring articles to life with your friendly advice. Your insights could make a real difference and help millions of people!

• If you need to excuse yourself to the restroom, just say, “excuse me, I’ll be right back.” No need to elaborate on where you’re going. Thanks Helpful 38 Not Helpful 4
• Do not correct the table manners of other people. That is also impolite. Thanks Helpful 36 Not Helpful 4
• When in doubt, copy what the host does. Thanks Helpful 29 Not Helpful 7

Tips from our Readers

• If you're at a dinner or party and it's buffet style, don't overload your plate. You can always get more, but it's impolite to waste food or stuff yourself with a huge pile of food.
• Don't ask for seconds until you are done with everything on your plate. It's rude if someone is feeding you and you waste their food.
• Keep your fork and knife on the plate after you finish eating. Cross them and set the fork upside down on the tines.
• Don't talk while eating food. It looks bad, but it also makes it impossible for others to hear what you're saying.
• Don't forget to thank the host for feeding you! It's impolite to leave without personally thanking the host.

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://www.cdc.gov/handwashing/when-how-handwashing.html
• ↑ https://www.etiquettescholar.com/dining_etiquette/table_manners/table_manner_tips.html
• ↑ https://www.kent.edu/career/dining-etiquette
• ↑ https://career.vt.edu/job-search/presenting_yourself/interviewing/dining-etiquette.html
• ↑ https://nm4h.nmsu.edu/documents/a204-hers20guide20to20basic20table20manners-fixed.pdf
• ↑ https://hospitalityinsights.ehl.edu/table-etiquette-tips
• ↑ https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/teaching_table_manners_to_young_children
• ↑ Tami Claytor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
• ↑ https://career.vt.edu/job-search/presenting_yourself/interviewing/dining-etiquette/FAQs-dining-etiquette.html
• ↑ https://www.missouriwestern.edu/student-services/wp-content/uploads/sites/130/2019/10/Etiquette-Essentials-Dining-Etiquette-Handout-Quiz.pdf
• ↑ https://www.etiquettescholar.com/dining_etiquette/table_manners.html

About This Article

To have good table manners, follow your host's lead if it's your first time at a dinner party. When you arrive, wait for the host to invite you to the table, and put your napkin in your lap and begin eating when the host does. When you're eating, use the outermost set of cutlery first and work your way in toward your plate. Always remember to say please and thank you, and avoid talking with food in your mouth or chewing with your mouth open. For tips on passing plates and signaling that you're finished eating, scroll down! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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11 Fine-Dining Etiquette Rules You've Probably Broken Your Whole Life

Don't even think about clinking your Champagne.

Maria Yagoda is a senior editor at Food & Wine, where she has worked for five years, specializing in restaurant and travel coverage.

While restaurant dining etiquette standards have loosened in recent decades, formal dining conduct is still taught at finishing schools and etiquette classes, and they're honored at many fine-dining establishments in both Europe and America.

If you've ever been nervous about where to put your napkin on your lap, or how to excuse yourself to use the restroom (first rule of the restroom: never talk about the restroom), you may find this article useful. We attended an abbreviated etiquette course thrown by Uber Eats with expert Myka Meier, founder of Beaumont Etiquette and The Plaza Hotel Finishing Program, and we were scandalized by what we learned. Meier, who trained in London under a former member of The Royal Household of the Queen and served as a consultant for Downtown Abbey , taught us a few rules of formal dining that you can follow even if you're hosting in your own home, serving delivery that you are trying to pass off as your own cooking.

Below, find the unexpected fine-dining etiquette you probably haven't been following.

1. Never lift your menu off the table.

"In formal dining, the menu should always be touching the table in one place," said Meier. So if you're looking at the menu, make sure to have the bottom, or at least one part of it, still touching the table, even if your impulse is to bring it closer to your face.

2. Once you sip from a glass, you must sip from the exact same place on that glass for the rest of the evening.

"When you drink, you want to drink from the same place on the glass every time to avoid that lip ring, whether it's from natural oils or chapsticks or lipstick," said Meier. "Then you put the glass back in the same place where you picked it up."

3. Don't clink. Not even for the 'gram.

Clinking for a cheers could damage the glass, especially if you're using very fine glassware. Plus, "in very formal dining, the less noise we make, the better."

4. Never ask for an oyster fork.

If there's no oyster fork on the table, don't ask for one; the lack of oyster fork means that the oyster is already loosened and ready to go. (If, for some reason, there is still a bit of oyster attached to the shell, you can use a knife to loosen it.) Once you've finished the oyster, turn the shell over on the plate to signal you are done.

5. Keep the rim of your plates as clean as possible.

This is out of respect for the service staff who has to clear the plates and will be grabbing the edge of the plate.

6. Place "discards" on the upper left part of your plate.

"The upper left part of your plate is for discards," said Meier. "Let's say you had a lemon rind you didn't want to eat; that would go on the upper left hand part of your plate. Or a fish bone. The bottom right is for sauces and butter."

7. Keep your bread on the plate at all times unless you are delivering it to your mouth.

That means you should butter the bread while it is still on the plate, but do not butter the whole slice at once. Break off the piece you plan to eat, butter that piece, and then lift the piece to put in your mouth. This applies to bagels, muffins, biscuits, and other bread-like products, Meier said.

8. Fold your napkin with the crease toward you before putting it in your lap.

Napkins are to be folded in half with the crease facing toward you. "We don't ever wipe stains, we dab stains," she said. "And then we close the napkin and so all the stains stay closed on the inside of the napkin, so you'll never again have a messy presentation for your guest."

9. Never say you are going to the restroom.

If you have to leave to use the restroom, excuse yourself. But do not say why!

10. Don't say "bon appetit."

The expression isn't proper here or in France. As etiquette coach Marie de Tilly told the New York Times in 2007 , "When people use it, it sounds just like an invitation for a good digestion and suggests that you are so hungry that you may jump on any food that would cross your mouth."

Meier advises saying, "Please enjoy."

11. Leave one bite left on your plate.

This shows that you enjoyed the meal, but you weren't so famished you cleaned the whole plate — which could indicate that you are still hungry, or it wasn't enough food.

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Table Etiquette Up for Discussion

The founder of the Etiquette School of New York will share her knowledge at a lunchtime talk at the 92nd Street Y.

By Florence Fabricant

Identifying your bread plate and the proper fork, as well as tipping and eating tricky foods like soup, are some of the topics that Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick, the founder of the Etiquette School of New York , will cover in a talk and demonstration at the 92nd Street Y. The session includes a three-course meal.

“Table Manners: The Ultimate Guide to Dining Etiquette,” $65, 11 a.m., April 4, 92nd Street Y, 1395 Lexington Avenue (92nd Street), 212-415-5500, 92Y.org .

Follow NYT Food on Twitter and NYT Cooking on Instagram , Facebook and Pinterest . Get regular updates from NYT Cooking, with recipe suggestions, cooking tips and shopping advice .

Florence Fabricant is a food and wine writer. She writes the weekly Front Burner and Off the Menu columns, as well as the Pairings column, which appears alongside the monthly wine reviews. She has also written 12 cookbooks. More about Florence Fabricant

FAQs & Tips About Dining Etiquette

Dining etiquette can be critical to career and job search success. Employers want to observe your conduct during meals and social situations, particularly for jobs requiring a certain demeanor with clients and superiors. Your table manners and behavior are an opportunity to make a good impression.

Everyone's experiences with table manners vary, so we have more for you below about details of dining, answers to questions you might have, and what to do if something goes not quite as planned.

Why are meals part of interviews?

Employers may want to see you in a more social situation to see how you conduct yourself, particularly if the job for which you are interviewing requires a certain standard of conduct with clients and superiors. You could be critically scrutinized on your table manners and conduct. On a practical level, interviews that last for several hours may extend through mealtimes, and the employer is acting as a gracious host to provide you with meals. The meal is a time to visit and interact, and this is always more important than the function of eating.

Who should sit down first?

You should wait for your interviewer/host to ask you to sit down before taking your seat. If he/she doesn't ask you to sit, wait for him/her to be seated, then sit.

Posture during your meal

During the meal, sit up straight and keep your feet flat on the floor or cross your legs at your ankles to maintain good posture. You don't have to sit forward on the edge of your chair; just don't slump back in the chair.

Where to find your salad plate, bread and butter plate and drinks

Your salad plate and bread and butter plate are on your left, above your fork. Your beverages are on the right above your spoon. Remember: Solids on the left, liquids on the right.

What to do with multiple forks (and spoons)

Always use your flatware from the outside in. So if you have two forks, the outside fork is for salad and the fork closest to the plate is for your main course. The flatware will be removed as you finish each course. There may be a third fork outside the salad fork for appetizers. Usually no more than three utensils are placed on each side of the place setting. If a fourth utensil is needed, it is placed above the plate and is usually for dessert and/or for coffee to be served with dessert. 

When you are seated, don't play with your utensils or make them a topic of conversation.

Proper napkin placement

As soon as everyone is seated, unfold your napkin and place it across your lap, folded, with the fold toward yourself. Do this discreetly without flourish. If you need to leave the table, place your napkin on your chair, folded loosely ( never wadded). Only after the meal is over should you place your napkin on the table to the left side of your plate ( never on your plate!).

Is it considered poor etiquette to wipe your mouth with the napkin?

It is considered poor etiquette not to use your napkin. The purpose of the napkin is to keep food off your face. Use it frequently to discreetly dab or wipe (no ear to ear swiping, please) your mouth. Replace the napkin on your lap loosely folded, not wadded and not stuffed between your legs.

What to do if your napkin falls on the floor

If your napkin falls on the floor and it is within easy reach, retrieve it. If you are unable to retrieve the napkin without drawing attention to yourself, ask the server for another one.

When to begin drinking and eating

If water is on the table as you are seated, it is appropriate to sip your water after you have placed your napkin in your lap. For other beverages and foods, wait until everyone is seated and has been served. 

Do not eat until your host/hostess has begun; when your host picks up his/her fork, this is an indicator that you may do so. Or your host/hostess may ask you to go ahead and start eating and you should comply with the request.

Do not help yourself to the bread basket and other communal foods until your host has indicated you may do so. If you pick up the bread basket, hold the basket and offer to the person to your left, then serve yourself, and then pass the basket to the person on your right. The same applies to butter, salad dressings, and other condiments that are passed. (That does not apply to salt and pepper, which are only passed, always together, when one or both are requested.)

What to do if your host/hostess uses the wrong utensil

You should eat correctly, but never point out errors of others. If you don't know how to eat a certain food, follow the lead of your host.

Ordering drinks

Water, juice, or iced tea are safe choices. Avoid soft drinks, because of negative effects on the mind and body that won't enhance your interview. Avoid alcohol, even if the interviewer drinks alcohol. Professional standards for employers recruiting college students state that employers should not serve alchohol as part of the recruiting process. In other professional situations, one glass of wine, sipped slowly, may be acceptable. Know your own limits. You want to remain sharp and responsive. Do not consume alcoholic beverages if you are under the legal age. Coffee or hot tea after the meal is perfectly acceptable if this is offered and if time allows.

Appropriate use of sugar or sweetener packets for your tea or coffee

Limit yourself to one or two packets of sugar or sweetener. Tear one or both at the same time 3/4 of the way at the top of the packet, and leave the paper waste at the side of the plate. Using more than two packets of sugar or artificial sweetener may be seen as excessive.

What to do if you have a food allergy

Refrain from talking about health during meals and in business situations. If you know the menu in advance, you can let your host know ahead of time that you cannot eat a certain food. Be pleasant and discreet about your request, and apologize for any inconvenience. This allows your host to make arrangements for you. If food you cannot eat is served to you at a meal, simply leave it. Be discreet and pleasant if you are asked why you are not eating. In a restaurant where you are ordering from the menu, you can explain any allergies discreetly to your server. Again, be pleasant and don't call attention to yourself or make this a topic of conversation.

What do you do if the menu is fixed and you are served something you do not want

Be polite and appreciative. Never criticize or state a dislike for a food that is served to you (something we all should have learned by age 5). This is insulting to your host. Simply eat foods you do like, and make an attempt to taste unfamiliar foods or at least make it appear as though you tried the food. If you are asked point blank if you like something, and it would be an obvious untruth to say you do, say something gracious like, "It's different," or "I'm not accustomed to this flavor, but I'm glad for the opportunity to try this." The job for which you are interviewing may involve business travel and dining in other other cultures than your own. You could be evaluated for your grace in such situations.

If you are served the wrong thing

If it's a major mistake, you can discreetly mention this to the server immediately so that it can be corrected. If the error is small — you didn't want tomatoes, but they are served to you, or you received the wrong side dish — ignore it. Fussing over food can make you look childish, finicky and concerned with the wrong things (not assets in a job candidate). Your goal is to appear gracious.

What is appropriate to order for dinner?

Simple foods that are easily eaten with a fork and knife or spoon (meats, simple salads and soups). Avoid spaghetti or other foods with red sauce, huge deli sandwiches, greasy hand-held items like pizza, and gassy foods like beans, broccoli, or cauliflower. Sometimes you may not have a choice. Follow your host's lead.

Is it best to avoid ordering a food if you can't pronounce its name?

No. If you'd like it, you can ask the server to describe the dish, and you can point to it on the menu. It's also fine to ask the pronunciation.

How to pass the bread basket, butter and salad dressings

When your host indicates (by saying "please help yourself to bread," or something similar), if you are the person closest, take the service plate/basket, offer it to the person to your left, serve yourself, and pass and release to the person on your right. Always include the service plate in passing; don't, for example, lift the salad dressing bowl off the service plate and pass the bowl by itself. Foods should go from the service plate to your plate, never to your mouth. Butter should be placed on your bread and butter plate, not directly on your bread. Don't touch other people's food, and never use your used utensils to obtain food from a service plate.

How you butter your bread roll matters

Do not spread your butter on your entire roll at one time. Do break off a bite-sized piece of your roll, butter it, and eat it, one bite at a time. If the piece you break off is slightly too big to make one bite, it's fine to eat it in two bites, and much better than stuffing a too-large bite into your mouth.

Cutting your salad if your lettuce pieces are too large

Cut a few bites at a time; don't slice and dice the entire salad at once. It is preferable to cut large salad pieces than to attempt to stuff large bites of food in your mouth.

Conversation while eating

Take very small bites, so you can quickly finish and swallow the bite before speaking. Never speak with food in your mouth; keep your mouth closed and wait until you've swallowed your food. You may not have much time to eat if you are being asked a lot of questions; remember that the main point of the meal is to have conversation, and eating is secondary. 

You can initiate asking your host questions so that the conversation is more balanced and you have more time to eat. Don't eat too quickly, and don't attempt to hurriedly scarf down all your food. A large, hurriedly-eaten meal can make you drowsy and uncomfortable; a disadvantage if your interview continues after the meal.

How soup should be consumed

Dip the side of your spoon away from yourself into the soup bowl to fill your spoon. Then place the other side edge of the spoon on your lower lip to carefully transfer the soup from spoon to mouth. Don't place the entire spoon bowl inside your mouth. Don't clack your teeth on the spoon. Take a pause and rest your spoon periodically; it goes behind the soup bowl, on the service plate under the soup bowl, not in the bowl. If no service plate is provided, then you should rest your spoon in the soup bowl. Used utensils are never placed on the table. Sip quietly. To finish the last bit of soup, you may slightly tip your bowl away from yourself to fill your spoon.

Using utensils or fingers to consume food

Some foods, like french fries, are commonly consumed with the fingers. However, in a professional situation, use your fork (and knife to cut, if necessary) rather than your fingers. If something is served on a plate, you should use utensils! This applies to all foods, including chicken, or any other meat with a bone, that you might eat with your fingers in a casual situation.

Problems with your name tag?

If the name tag is not sticky and keeps falling off on the table or on the floor, remove it. If the name tag is in your way, move it.

Scooping or spearing food

Scooping or spearing depends on the type of the food. Do not jab at your food; try to scoop and spear in the same action.

Where to place utensils after finishing soup or appetizer

When a service plate is used under the food vessel, always rest your utensil on the service plate behind the food vessel. Obviously if there is no service plate, rest your utensil in the food vessel. Your utensil always rests with the handle to your right. Never place any part of a used utensil on the table; so that means don't lean the handle on the table. 

If plates are being cleared and you are not finished, simply lift your utensil as though you are in the process of eating. However, don't lag behind the rest of the diners; if everyone else is finished, and you're not, simply leave the remaining food.

Do you always pass the salt with the pepper, even if someone asks for salt only?

Yes, always pass the salt and the pepper together. Place both on the table, and not directly into another person's hand. Even if you also want to use the salt or pepper, don't use it first if you were asked to pass it. Simply wait for it to be passed around, or ask that it be passed back around to you. Of course that's not efficient, but the point of etiquette is to consider and attend to the needs of others in a gracious manner, and not necessarily to be focused on efficiency or speed.

Don't season your food until after you have tasted it

This is considered an insult to the chef. You should not salt and pepper your food before tasting it. Try a bite first, then season if necessary. Don't over season; this can appear childish.

What to do if you find hair in your food

You have a few choices if you find hair in the food. If you are comfortable doing so, you can discreetly remove it, or eat around it. You can always politely ask the server to bring you another plate. In any case, do not cause a scene and do not spoil the appetites of others at the table.

Excusing yourself from the table

You can excuse yourself from the table by saying, "excuse me"; you do not need to offer an explanation, and you should not state that you are going to the rest room or attending to personal matters (that is an inappropriate topic of conversation during a meal.) 

However, you should offer an explanation if you were excusing yourself to check on a matter related to or on behalf of the group; for example to check on the whereabouts of a member of your party who might be lost or otherwise need assistance (although if you were an interviewee you would not generally have this responsibility). 

If you must leave during the meal, you indicate whether you are finished eating through proper placement of your utensils and napkin. Ten and four o'clock (handles at four, knife blade toward you) indicates you are finished. Three o'clock to center (handles at three) indicated you are not finished. Do not rest utensils or utensil handles on the table. Napkin on your seat indicates you will return. Napkin placed on the table to left of your plate (NEVER on), indicates you are finished.

If a woman steps away during the meal, should men stand?

Traditional etiquette calls for gentlemen to rise when a woman leaves the table. It is not necessary to completely stand for a temporary departure. Simply rise off the seat to acknowledge her leaving.

Is it appropriate to put eye drops (for contact lenses) in my eyes at the table?

Absolutely not. No grooming of any kind should be done at the table. You should excuse yourself for this purpose.

Proper etiquette for a slow eater

Try to stay with the pace of the meal so that you don't hold up the remaining courses. If you are lagging behind, when the others are done eating, don't make them wait on you too long. Don't try to speed up to finish your food. It's not necessary for you to finish all the food on your plate.

Removing your jacket

As a general rule, follow the lead of the host before removing your jacket. If the host keeps on his/her jacket, keep yours on. If it is extremely hot, it is appropriate to ask the host's/hostess' permission. This applies to both men and women. Keep in mind that some restaurants/clubs may require men to keep their jackets on during meals.

What to do if someone accidentally sneezes on the table, near the food

Respond by saying "Bless you," and continue with your meal. If the person sneezed on your meal, certainly  you would not eat it, but don't make an announcement about it. (And make a mental note not  to sit near that person in the future if you can avoid it.)

Where to place the knife when you are eating

Put the knife across the top of your plate when you are eating, blade facing toward you. Picture a clock face; the knife should be approximately at the 2:00 (handle end) to 11:00 (blade end) position.

What to do with your soup spoon when you are momentarily not eating

When you are resting, place the soup spoon on the service plate, or leave it in the bowl if there is not a service plate. When you are finished, place the spoon on the service plate.

Is it okay to lick your fork/spoon before putting it down?

Absolutely not. Remove all food from your utensil when you remove the utensil from your mouth. Do not take partial bites off a utensil; so do not put more food on your utensil than you can place in your mouth with one bite.

What if your dinner fork falls on the floor and you cannot get the server's attention?

Do not reach to the floor to pick up dropped utensils. Wait until you get the server's attention and discreetly ask for a new utensil.

Getting the attention of your server

Catch your server's eye. If that's not successful, you may ask another server who is nearby. If the matter is not urgent, wait until the server checks at the table to see if anyone has needs; be discreetly on the lookout for your server to do so, so you won't be caught with your mouth full. Don't wave to a server unless there is an emergency. Avoid getting up from the table to hunt someone down (unless there is an emergency). Remember the main purpose is conversation with others, so enjoy that while you wait  for a fresh fork.

What to do if a piece of food falls off your plate

If the food falls on the floor, leave it and don't step on it. If the food falls on the table and it is a big piece, if you can do so discreetly, use your fork and move it to a corner of your plate. Otherwise, let it be.

How to let someone know he/she has something in his/her teeth

Be subtle and quiet. Do not bring it to the attention of everyone at the table and do not embarrass the person. If it is someone signifantly senior to you, you may not want to cause him or her any embarrassment; so let it go!

What to do if something is stuck in your teeth

Try to remove the lodged item with your tongue. Sip water. If this does not work, excuse yourself from the table and go to the restroom, but do not announce why you are leaving. Just excuse yourself. It's a good idea to go to the restroom after the meal to check your teeth and freshen up. Toothpicks should be used discreetly and in private; never at the table.

What if you discover a piece of bone or olive pit in your mouth

If it went in with your fork, it should come out with your fork, as unobtrusively as possible. From your fork, place it on the rim of your plate. No one should notice you doing this, because the fork-to-mouth motion is a common one made by anyone who is eating. Any time something needs to be removed from your mouth, remove it by the same means (fork, spoon, fingers, etc.) that it went in.

How to avoid eating a certain foods, such as onions on a salad

Discreetly eat around the food and/or move it carefully to the side of the plate or bowl. Don't make a fuss, and don't remove it from the plate.

What to do if your food is cold or doesn't taste good

If your food needs to be warmer but is acceptable to eat, do eat it as is, rather than asking a server to take it away. However, if the food is not edible, politely and quietly ask the server to make a correction.

What to say when you really don't like your meal and someone asks, "How is your meal?"

Be polite and say, "Fine, thank you," and smile when you say it.

Resting your wrists on the table between bites

It is permissible to rest your wrists on the edge of the table or place your hands in your lap, but no elbows on the table!

A note to left-handers

If you are allowed to choose your seat, choose a seat where you do not hit any other person's elbows.

Should you clean your plate? Should you push all uneaten food to one side?

You do not have to consume all the food on your plate. It is perfectly appropriate to leave some food unfinished on your plate, and you should not force yourself to overeat. However, if you have ordered your own choice of meal, and you leave a significant amount of food, you may appear wasteful or as though you made a poor judgment in ordering. Food waste is a significant problem in the U.S., so be mindful to avoid contributing to that problem. Particularly if you have asked for extra items or substitutions (which, if you are a guest, you should not generally do without good reason, such as food allergies), and if you then don't consume those items, you may appear picky and childish. Under no circumstances should you push the remaining food around on the plate.

Signaling that you're finished with your meal

Your fork and knife should be placed parallel to each other in the ten and four o'clock position (as on the face of a clock), with handles at 4:00 and tops of the utensils at 10:00. The fork is placed nearest to you, with the knife placed just behind it. The knife blade points toward you. Never place or rest any portion of the used utensils on the table. At no time, finished or otherwise, does a utensil lean on the plate or touch the table.

When the check comes

Typically in an interview situation, you are the guest and therefore the meal is paid for by the employer (whether the organization is a business, non-profit, educational institution, etc.). Your host will most likely pick up the check so you won't have to deal with it. Remember to thank your host for the meal at its conclusion.

What to do if you feel ill during the meal

If you really cannot make it through the meal, just excuse yourself and go to the rest room. Return when you are feeling better or have the server explain that you are not feeling well. Obviously this would be an awkward situation. You can rectify or smooth over this situation by writing a note of apology as soon as you are able afterward. Express regret that you had to depart during such a nice meal, and express regret that your illness may have disturbed the pleasant gathering.

Key points to remember

• Remember the purpose of the meal.
• Follow the lead of your host or hostess.
• Be discreet.

Additional sources for dining etiquette

Career and Professional Development does not own or maintain the websites linked below and we have no control over their content. We provide links as a service to students.

Etiquette Scholar.com  i ncludes the following and much more:

• table manners 101
• table setting
• restaurant etiquette
• business dining etiquette
• international dining etiquette
• toasts and toasting
• eating everything from artichokes to watermelon
• challenging dining situations
• behavior to avoid at the table

Top ten table manners . [Emily Post.com]

Top ten etiquette tips for the business dinner or interview [Own the dollar.com]

Customs and Etiquette in Chinese Dining Essay

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Historically, the Chinese often viewed their country as a cultural entity rather than a landmass. The relationships between people were based on the highly developed system of standards of behavior that addressed every aspect of life. Table manners are the very important part of the Chinese etiquette. There are hundreds of forms of correct behavior at table that have their historical explanation.

The seating arrangement is the first thing that should be considered. As a rule, the hosts sit nearest to the door because they take care of foods and dishes. The guest of honor sits the opposite to the host, and eldest guests sit closer to the host. However, guests may vary in their closeness to the host, and even the young ones may be seated in better seats (Zhao and Wang 19).

For the several thousand years since the pottery was first used to contain food, the Chinese ate separately with individual portions. Communal dining became popular only during the times of the Song Dynasty (Zhao and Wang 18). At that time, they adopted a new furniture with tables, stools, and chairs, and it was more convenient to sit around the table dining together. Besides, more and more new dishes appeared, and the traditional style of serving could not be adapted to them. Thus, the individual dining was gradually replaced by the communal dining.

It is important to wait until the host or the eldest person begins eating and encourages others to eat. The younger guests may help the elders; a young person putting an item on the plate of someone older is considered to be very polite and serving (Newman 109). At communal diners, the host usually puts food on the guest’s plate, and it is rude to refuse the treat. Besides, the Chinese do not use the eating ends of chopsticks to serve someone or themselves from a common dish: the clean top ends are used for this purpose. Thus, the guest should not be worried about the hygiene (De Mente 77).

When one takes food from the common dish, they should consider such proportions that everyone else will be left with an equivalent amount. Although it is commonly known that taking the last piece of food is impolite, it is appropriate to take the remains when a new dish is served because then the desirability of the remains is diminished (Cooper 182).

One should refrain from making noise while chewing (Cooper 182). However, the slurping sounds are not considered impolite when eating soup. On the contrary, when sucking the air in, a person cools the dish and avoids burning the mouth. The sound of slurping is indicative that the soup is liked (Newman 110). When eating, it is important not to take large mouthfuls. In general, a person should try to maintain the same pace of eating as others at the table (Cooper 182). It is impolite to eat everything on the plate because the host will consider that the food that he serves is not enough for a treat. When a person has their fill, they should not announce that they do not want any more food. In the Chinese etiquette, such phrase is considered as a veiled request for a second helping. The best way to show the satiety will be a small amount of rice left in a bowl or on a plate (Wenzhong et al. 30).

It is important to know how to eat with chopsticks since the Chinese use them practically for each kind of food except soup that is eaten with a porcelain spoon and the Peking duck that they eat with hands (De Mente 77). The etiquette does not allow sticking the chopsticks upright in the rice bowl because the Chinese use this action only at funeral dinners to honor the dead person. Instead of poking the chopsticks into the rice and leaving them in the upright position, one should place them on a special holder near the plate or bowl (Chai and Chai 247).

It is inappropriate to lick the chopsticks, or even let them touch the tongue if a person uses them to pick the food from a common plate for health safety reasons. When eating from common bowls and plates, one should take care not to “dig” in the food, and if the piece has suddenly fallen, a person should pick it because when one’s chopsticks touch the food – it is theirs (De Mente 77). In addition, one should know how to hold the chopsticks. Although it is pardonable for a Westerner not to know how to do it properly, at least they should know that stabbing the food with the chopsticks as though it were the big toothpick is impolite (Chai and Chai 247).

The Chinese system of rules and norms is one of the most enduring and ancient in the world. Quite often, a person is judged by how closely they follow these rules because, in the Chinese view, the etiquette is connected with culture, morality, and even nationality (De Mente 77). Dining is the significant part of life since people use shared dinners for various purposes: to greet, to honor, to negotiate, to show the supremacy, etc. Knowing the customs and etiquette in Chinese dining will show a person’s civility and help them to gain respect from others.

Works Cited

Chai, May-Lee, and Winberg Chai. China A to Z: Everything You Need to Know to Understand Chinese Customs and Culture . Penguin, 2014.

Cooper, Eugene. “Chinese Table Manners: You Are How You Eat.” Human Organization, vol. 45, no. 2, 1986, pp. 179-184.

De Mente, Boye Lafayette. Etiquette Guide to China: Know the Rules that Make the Difference! Tuttle Publishing, 2011.

Newman, Jacqueline M. Food Culture in China . Greenwood Publishing Group, 2004.

Wenzhong, Hu, Cornelius Grove, and Zhuang Enping. Encountering the Chinese: A Modern Country, an Ancient Culture . Nicholas Brealey Publishing, 2010.

Zhao, Rongguang, and Aimee Yiran Wang. History of Food Culture in China . SCPG Publishing Corporation, 2015.

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Ethics: Sample Essay on Dining Etiquette and Why it is Important

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It is essential for an individual to have a dining protocol to enhance his self-image. For instance, in a business relationship, individuals tend to notice each action of their colleagues. Table manners are significant because it enhances the integrity of a person. Additionally, dinning etiquette boosts self confidence among people. The purpose of this essay is to articulate on fundamental etiquette norms that apply in dining.

In a hotel , a person is supposed to close the menu after he makes an order to be served the right meal. This reveals to the staff that a customer has made the correct decision of food to eat. It is also proper to wait until all people at the table are served before eating (Barbara, 1962).  Additionally, it is recommended to make a simple order while attending a luncheon during formal business meeting. If there is any problem with the food, it is better to inform the staff and not the host.

Individuals also require being cautious while using forks spoons and knifes. Furthermore, this cutlery should also be arranged in order. The purpose of the knife is to cut food into small particles while the fork should place it in good position. On finishing, the knife should be placed gently on the plate. A person should use the right hand to pick the fork and eat.

Table manners also apply when an individual converse lightly while feeding. It is also good etiquette when an individual eat meals that are placed on his left.  Furthermore, he is supposed to take drinks at the right side of his table setting. After using the napkin, it should be folded and returned to the table. In any form of business, it is vital to apply dinning customs. This is because it enhances a sense of respect to both the staff and the hos t.

Amanda, R. (2011). “15 International Food Etiquette Rules that Might Surprise You.” Budget travel Web Site. Accessed on 24 th March 2013 from http://www.budgettravel.com/feature/international-dining-etiquette-rules,8358

Barbara, C. (1962). Etiquette Handbook . London: Paul Hamlyn

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